1

It was another rainy day in Seattle, what could have been an ordinary day for Arizona turned out to be one of the most dragging and heavy afternoon. She started this day alright, was called at 5:00 in the morning to jump in and help in a surgery, did rounds at 7:00 am, did another surgery by 9 am, rendered consults, reviewed a lot of cases for her surgeries in the following days, she was even able to squeeze in a heated lunch at Carina's office for half an hour before heading back to her own. It was already 1:00 in the afternoon and she was readying herself for her last consult, which was 10 minutes late now, before heading home until she was called in for trauma.

"What do we have?" She said ready in action. Guess she'll be staying over for hours before her much awaited 2 day off.

"21 year old, MVA, 26 weeks pregnant, multiple fractures on her limbs and ribs. GCS 5. We're hearing aproximately 80 heartbeats per minute with the baby." she felt her stomach turn seeing a familiar brunette covered in blood as the emt gurneyed the patient down.

She was supposed to be meeting her 10 minutes ago. Alive and jolly, not like this.

"Dr. Robbins, they are your patients. What's the baby's situation?"

"Baby has ectopia cordis, very critical. If we don't deliver this baby now we won't be able to save any of them. Get OR 1 ready. Page ortho, Wilson you're scrubbing in and page Karev too, we will need extra set of hands for the baby." She said not wanting to waste any more time.

"Dr. Robbins, please save her, please. I don't— I don't know how this happened. We were so happy, we were so excited to come here for the appointment, suddenly there was this super fast car and—and" she felt sorry for the young blonde in front of her and couldn't help but notice blood running through her forehead.

"Donna! Donna! Have your self get checked you are bleeding too. I will try to save them—"

Arizona tried to stop her tears from falling and let her eyes gaze to an almost lifeless brunette in the gurney. She knew this would be an impossible case, another heartache that's bound to happen. And then she stared back at the tiny pale blonde, shaking, her eyes of green were filled with tears, she shivered with the idea but it was like she saw herself in her.

"I will try to save them but I won't promise anything." She said in almost a whisper.

"Let Dr. Kepner run some test on you."—

"No...no...no... Dr. Robbins— Arizona, please let her live, for me. And the baby, Oh God, she loves the baby." The young blonde in front of her plead.

Suddenly she felt her feet heavy. Her hands were shaking and her breathing, it's as if it was too difficult to breathe. These were all too familiar. She felt her scars reopened.

Car accident.

Blood.

Brunette.

Blonde.

Baby.

She knew both of these ladies, in fact they may be her favorite client for weeks now, one may be because these two reminded her so much of her and Callie. They were two young couples. One got pregnant while away at college and the other just accepted the whole situation and was willing to be a part of the other's journey through parenthood although both are not out yet. Arizona has been told by both ladies that she was the only person who knew they were a couple. Arizona's fondness with them grew consult after consult, so much that she may have shared some experiences she had with Callie.

Callie.

Remembering her name doesn't help much in calming her nerves right now. It still feels like rubbing salt on an open wound.

"Arizona. Arizona. Dr. Robbins!" She heard Hunt's voice enough to break her trance.

"OR 1 is ready and they're wheeling the patient in now—"

"Okay" she said and was readying to leave when Hunt pulled her near him.

"I know this is all too familiar for you. Are you sure you can handle this with your emotions set aside?"

"I'm okay. Please keep an eye on her." She said pertaining to the young blonde, who was now being treated by April.

"Donna. She's scared right now and she might be losing 2 important people today. Please keep an eye on her. She's scared and she will need someone to hold her." She said before running to save her patients.

beeeeeeep*

Flat line and silence filled the room. The other doctors, nurses and everyone else surely heard Arizona Robbins' whimper, a sign that the tough surgeon was in tears. Arizona was known to put her emotion aside in times like this. She barely cry in front of people when a patient dies on her table. She was trained well to keep her face straight and act professional whenever it happens but this time it was different. She had her heart on her sleeve and her tears aren't helping.

"Time of death 2:15 pm" she called out. Her breaths louder than the words she was trying to say. Taking a deep breath she focused on another life they could be saving.

"I'm closing now. Karev, how's the baby?"

"Shit!" She heard Alex say before even giving her an answer. The baby was born with her heart outside of her body which Arizona was aware of, hence, why they were on her service.

"There was a rupture at the IVC and the stitch is not holding, there's too much bleeding right now Arizona and I can't..."

Arizona just wanted to fall on the floor. She just lost Sarah, the mother of the child, a 21 year old ballet dancer who reminded her so much of Callie and now they're losing the baby too. She could only think of Donna and the heartbreak this would cause her. It's almost Christmas and this has to happen. Everything was blurring out until she heard Alex's code.

"Charge it to 5. Clear!"

"Shit, no. No. Hang in there little guy."

She heard Alex say. It was only when she heard a clear line that confirmed this was one of her worse days as a doctor.

"I'm sorry, Zona" she heard Alex say more as her friend than as a Doctor. Alex has teased her enough in focusing on this case too much because of this couple's resemblance with her and Callie. She has denied it a thousand times with him but Alex knew better.

"Call it, Karev." She just said without any hint of emotion at all.

"Time of death, 2:23pm."

Arizona stopped whatever she was doing and put all the instruments in her hand down.

"Dr. Wilson, finish it up. I'll deliver the news to the family." She said before stepping out of the OR.

Arizona was glad to have the her office all to herself for a good 30 minutes. Lights were dim and she didn't even bother turning them up as she wallows through all her emotions.

April tried her best to leave her friend alone to give her some space but decided that 30 minutes was enough.

"Hey." She quietly sat on the couch, beside her friend. Arizona's head was resting on the back pillows. April could see the glimmer of tears streaming from her friend's eyes.

"Donna had minor injuries and her head CTs were clear. She was waiting for you before she got discharged. She wanted to say thank you for being the best doctor for her friend and the baby and that she didn't mean to cuss at you. She was just looking for someone else to blame..." April explained.

After delivering the news to the young blonde, she has outed some painful words against Arizona and all the doctors involved. It was a normal reaction for sure but Arizona felt her words, she knows where her client was coming from. And in their field of work, to act as a professional all you have to say is "we did the best thing we could to save the patient." , turn around and never look back.

Arizona stayed quiet. She just closed her eyes letting the rest of her tears fall.

"You know it's not your fault that they died right? They were practically already dead when they arrived, the mom and the kid. You did your best to try and save them, Zona. You don't need me to say this but I still would...This happens a lot of time—"

"I could have been her." She cut her friend off finally breaking her silence.

"What?"

"I could have been Donna." She said almost a whisper. April was lost at first but has managed to take a deep breath in when she realized what her friend was saying.

"I could have lost Sofia and Callie too in that accident. But I didn't. I was lucky enough that I didn't." Arizona added.

"Arizona" April tried to argue but was cut off by the blonde.

"Yet I took that gift for granted and I still managed to push Callie away from me. I pushed them away from me. I cheated on my wife... twice and expected her to understand me, to forgive me and to still accept me. And then I got mad that she didn't. And when she finally found someone else and wanted to start anew I fought her hard against it."

"But you still let her leave and even allowed Sofia to be with her. You both made mistakes, Arizona. Everybody does."

"What did Callie ever do to me anyway? She cut my leg off? That was it? She only did it because she wanted to save me, in the end it was still for me. I became a monster to her and she remained my Calliope and what did I do in return? I fucking slept with someone else. Callie and Sofia almost died on me. I prayed for their life and when He did give them back, I just fucked things up."

"Arizona, look at me. You need to forgive and you need to start here." April grabbed Arizona's hand and put it on the blonde's chest. "Forgive yourself. Yes you did make a lot of mistakes. Yes you've hurt people but didn't we all? Aren't we all sinners? Forgive yourself, forgive Callie too but forgive yourself first."

A tragic death and an emotional talk with April took a toll on her. She needed to unwind for the rest of her day off. She was deciding wether to ask Alex for a drink at Joe's but it was still too early to drink or maybe call her girlfriend, ask if she could get off work early to be with her but she knows that would be impossible knowing how busy Carina is with her research. She didn't wanna go home on an empty apartment just yet. These are the moments she most hoped she had Sofia. She missed her daughter and it ached her heart knowing she still has a week before she could have her daughter back.

"Mommy! Mommy!"

She knew that familiar voice. Shaking her head lightly, she held out a little laugh as she fix her bag readying herself to go home. She must be hallucinating. She just miss her daughter so much.

Sleep, that is what she needs. She will go home and sleep her ass off.

"Mommy!"

It was when two tiny arms rested on her stomach, coming from behind her that she realized she wasn't dreaming. It was real. Her precious daughter whom she has been missing for months was really hugging her. Here in Seattle, in her office.

"Baby girl!" She squealed, she turned around fast and carried her little princess who is now too heavy for her without minding her buckling leg. She felt her tears. This is just what she needed. A little Sofia loving... but why was her daughter here?

"What— how— who." Her eyes wandered throughout the room until a pair of brown eyes met her ocean blues.

She could not believe it. The gods must have heard her calling that they gave her what she needed for today.

"Calliope."