The mission was over. The Xindi weapon was neutralized, the Sphere builders were stopped, and the Enterprise was home. All the speeches had been given while the senior officers stood side-by-side on stage grateful to be back on earth. Archer then went down the line and personally thanked each of them for all they had done on this mission. Afterwards there was the obligatory hand shaking and the endless unnecessary gratitude from every person that had waited on baited breath for the last year. None of the crew was looking for thanks, it was their duty and each would do it again if necessary

Watching everything was Starfleet's newest captain, Erika Hernandez. She was smart, capable and eager for the completion of her vessel the Columbia. A hopeful smile played on her lips as she moved through the crowd hoping to make her way over to Jonathan Archer. It had been a long time since they had spoken to each other and she couldn't wait to talk to him again. Now that she was a captain, she could entertain the possibility of rekindling their past romance and she hoped that he would feel the same.

As she passed two Vulcan delegates, she stopped as she noticed Archer standing a ways off. He was talking to a Starfleet officer but he kept glancing over to another area. Wondering what he was looking at she turned her attention in the same direction only to see Lt. D'Arcy glancing back at him from time to time. Erika watched the two for a few moments with curiosity. With all the excitement and the crowd pressing in around the arena it was hardly a surprise that no one else seemed to notice the silent interaction. She probably wouldn't have either if it weren't for her own romantic past with Archer giving her some familiarity with his looks. In fact, the more she watched their unspoken communication, the more she could see that there was weight and meaning in their looks.

From where she stood Erika studied Danaë. She could tell that she was around the same height, with a mass of blond curls carefully pinned into a chignon at her neck. This woman was a few years younger and quite attractive. Understandably, her naturally pale complexion had become even more ashen by fatigue and stress with shadows beneath her sharp eyes. Captain Hernandez had heard about the lieutenant, but this was the first time she had ever laid eyes on her.

It was possible that the glances from captain to lieutenant were nothing but her imagination and Captain Hernandez told herself as much. After-all, everyone on the crew of the Enterprise had been through a lot and such ordeals and close quarters can quickly change a crew from co-workers to family. Looking back over at Archer it soon became obvious that she was never going to get anywhere near him with so many people crowding around. Fortunately there was a banquet tomorrow night which only had a limited number of invitees. She would be able to talk to Archer then.

Danaë had no idea she was being watched as she spoke with a few of the guests who had come to the ceremony. Occasionally she did glance over at Captain Archer to show him that she was still there and doing what he asked. He in turn kept an eye on her because he knew that she did not want to be there with the other officers and had even requested to remain on board the ship. She was still not fully recovered from the yamanu and saw very little about herself that was worth even the smallest of accolades.

The others deserved the thanks they were receiving and more, but she did not see herself as worthy. Adding to the awkwardness was the fact that she had no family there to hug or greet. There had been no one to worry about her or miss her while she was on the mission so who would miss her now? To her dismay the captain did not accept any of her excuses and instead ordered her to take her place on the shuttle with the others.

For Archer's sake Danaë endured it, but being there in that arena made her painfully aware that she still didn't really belong to this time. When she was on the ship she had a purpose, on Earth she was little more than a leaf blowing in the wind. She had no home, no family and nowhere to go. The lieutenant was beginning to resign herself to the idea of a park bench as a temporary residence, when Hoshi offered her a place to stay. It wasn't a big apartment, but the couch folded out into a bed and it was comfortable.

That first night back home, the two women did nothing but sleep. When they did get up they sat around eating, talking, giggling and watching various bits of mindless entertainment. By late afternoon, Hoshi got up and started to get dressed for the banquet that was being held in the crew's honor at a restaurant called Montalban's. It had five-stars and was well-known for being the chicest place in San Francisco that only catered to the finest clientele. Taking out an elegant gown she had picked up two days before Archer had approached her about joining the Enterprise, she laid it on her bed and started to do her hair. When she noticed that Danaë wasn't getting ready she casually gave her a friendly reminder, but the lieutenant quickly answered that she wasn't feeling up to it.

The truth was that she absolutely hated the attention and wanted to avoid it as much as possible. Even if she could be persuaded to attend, she had no clothes beyond her uniform, a couple of tank tops, a pair of shorts and a pair of pants. When your existence is that of a nomad, you pack light. Hoshi completely understood Danaë's desire to stay at home and wouldn't have minded it herself. She also remembered Archer's order that every member of the crew was to be there, no exceptions. She gave the lieutenant a gentle warning about this order, then in an attempt to make things easier, she offered Lt. D'Arcy one of her old formals as well as shoes and a few pieces of costume jewelry. Danaë was stuck. There was simply no getting out of it, but at least she would be served a decent meal.

Indeed, Montalban's had the finest cuisine in San Francisco and in honor of the Enterprise crew they had cancelled all reservations and closed its doors to everyone except those invited to the event. Captain Hernandez had arrived early to check on all the arrangements and verify that everything was done to perfection. Erika was fastidious about everything she did, whether it was commanding her crew or in how she selected her dress for a formal occasion. Everything was satisfactory, from the menu to the arrangement of the tables to the beautiful floor length gown she wore of royal blue. With its lace top, long sleeves and v-neck, she had chosen it because it not only showed a professional look that was appropriate for a Starfleet officer, but she was certain it would get Archer's attention.

All of her efforts did not go unnoticed as Archer walked in and immediately complimented her on all of her work. He then smiled and taking her hands in his, he reassured her that she looked absolutely beautiful. She returned the compliment and told him that he looked very handsome in his dress uniform, which was only true. Before they could talk any further, other guests began arriving and all of them wanted Archer's attention. Everyone was dressed in their best, even the Vulcan dignitaries and T'Pol were dressed in their best traditional attire.

With over three-hundred guests filling the event space Captain Archer was doing all he could to move through the crowd and greet everyone. He found time to speak with as many people as he could. Most of the Enterprise crew was there and all of the senior officers except for Lt. D'Arcy were present. He wasn't entirely surprised, after her resistance to joining the others on stage the day before he had fully expected her to be absent, but he was still disappointed.

When the staff were certain that the majority of the attendee's had arrived, they let Admiral Forrest know that the first course was ready to be served. With that, people started to walk to their seats, with top officers and dignitaries taking their places at the large round center table. What they didn't know was that one more guest was on their way. Danaë must have turned around at least half a dozen times at Hoshi's apartment as well as outside the restaurant before finally going in. As uncomfortable as she felt in crowds, things only got worse. Her indecision had caused her to be the last to arrive so when she stepped into the restaurant all heads turned to look at her. In her youth she would have relished this sort of attention, but not now. Danaë wasn't that arrogant, spoiled or brazen girl anymore.

Fifteen years of wandering Earth alone had made large social events a bit out of her comfort zone. Still, she might have been able to adapt and overcome, but for that incident with the yamanu. After what it had nearly caused her to do and the havoc it had wreaked on her body, and continued to inflict, she couldn't help feeling a slight paranoia. She was sure everyone could see that there was something wrong with her and it just made her want to leave. It didn't help that the dress Hoshi had loaned her was a bright scarlett, backless satin silk mermaid tail dress that had a plunging v-neck and hugged her curves. It looked like nothing anyone else was wearing.

She really had no reason to be afraid or feel out of place. Everyone was glad she was there with perhaps the exception of Erika Hernandez. She might not have cared either, but a glance over at Captain Archer only confirmed, in her mind at least, any suspicions she harbored about the pair. He had been friendly when she arrived and had even complimented her blue lace dress. The way he looked at Danaë was different. His face was stoic, giving away nothing, but his eyes . . . oh his eyes stared at the lieutenant with an intensity that could make a snowball burst into flames. How she wished he would look at her that way.

Lt. D'Arcy could feel her heart pounding so hard that she was certain it was about to pop out of her chest. She did not belong there, she told herself. She had already faced numerous internal battles with herself and won so there was nothing forcing her to take on this one. Sometimes waving your white flag is the strongest thing you can do and she was ready to do it. Danaë started to turn and leave, but a voice stopped her.

"Lieutenant," Archer said in a soft but commanding fashion. "We have a seat saved for you."

He gestured over to a large round table that had been reserved for all the ranking officers and taking a deep breath she walked over. The captain pulled out a chair for her then did likewise with Erika, Hoshi and T'Pol before taking his own seat between Danaë and Captain Hernandez. Perhaps this was not the wisest place for him to seat the lieutenant, but he wanted to keep his eye on her. Archer could tell she wanted to bolt and knew that the only way to make her stay was if he was close by for support.

Dinner seemed to go smoothly, at least at first. Conversation was light and friendly as they ate their appetizers of shrimp cocktail and drank wine. The only one not drinking alcohol was Danaë. Dr. Phlox's prescribed cocktail of painkillers and antidepressants had made that an impossibility. Several of the Enterprise crew spoke at length about what they were going to do now that they were back home. When it came time to serve the main course of classic British slow-cooked spaghetti bolognese the discussion began to turn and not for the better. When someone mentioned that there were things that they wished they could have done better, Ambassador Soval seized the opportunity. Looking directly at Archer he mentioned that there were many things that were lacking in the way the mission was handled, then offered as an example the treatment of the Vulcan ship Seleya.

Archer attempted to be diplomatic in his response, but it was clear that he did not share Soval's viewpoint nor was he going to just sit there and take his accusations. Although they glossed their words in a mask of artful delicacy, there was no denying that at the heart of it all was anger and hostility. Twice Erika Hernandez attempted to defuse the situation, but neither was having it. Seeing that things were reaching an uncomfortable level. Danaë finally spoke for the first time since arriving.

"Gentleman, my father had a great gift for diplomacy and when I was growing up I watched him handle many seemingly impossible negotiations with intelligence, logic and great feeling. I used to read his speeches and wish I could be like him, unfortunately I was not blessed with such a gift. I remember reading one where he said, 'If we're going to be damned, let's be damned for what we really are.' What we are is human and imperfect, but we're always striving to do better . . . to be better. This is all still new to us and as such we will make mistakes, but that is how we learn. Much like a child learning to walk there will be times when we fall. I am very familiar with the history of Vulcan and I know that it has had its share of growing pains and mistakes. That knowledge has been invaluable in helping us to reach the stars. Unfortunately you have also shown yourselves to be arrogant and dismissive."

"A typical human . . ." Soval started to say, clearly taking offence at what she said, despite his effort to appear unemotional. Danaë only continued speaking as though he had never said a word.

"When I was four my father enrolled me in school, but when the day came for me to start I told him I was sick. Like any good father he immediately had me examined by the ship's doctor and of course there was nothing wrong with me. The truth was that I was scared. He asked me why and I finally told him that I was afraid the other children wouldn't like me. Instead of assuring me that they would, he told me that there would always be kids, and later in life adults, who wouldn't like me. Not everyone will be your friend, but along the way some will. Hiding away in our quarters out of fear would never give me the education I needed to explore space and that lesson is just as relevant now as it ever was. You could either hold us back in hopes of some perfect moment that will never come or let us finally stretch our wings. Not every species is going to like us, that is one thing I can guarantee in the centuries to come, but others will. The Klingons may not appreciate us, but we seem to have earned the respect of the Andorians."

"The Andorians are hardly trustworthy. You'll see that soon enough." Soval sniffed, glancing over at one of his entourage knowingly.

"Perhaps, but when we needed a friend the most, it was the Vulcans who took a step back while the Andorians stretched out their hands and helped." This was not entirely true, but Lt. D'Arcy was not about to mention the ulterior motives that fueled this alliance. "Logically that was a poor chess move on your part. Fortunately for all of us, the game has only just begun and there is still so much we can learn from each other and plenty of time to do it. I, for one, would rather spend my time building a better and stronger future than cracking its foundation before it has even been completed."

"To the building of a better and stronger future." Admiral Forrest said, raising his wine glass in a toast. Everyone at the table did likewise, even Ambassador Soval. Archer couldn't repress his smile at what she had said or the way in which she had silenced his Vulcan critic. After that, the conversation returned to far more pleasant subjects as everyone finished their dinner and were served cold Charlotte for dessert.

When the meal was over, the musicians began to play some light jazz. Many of those present began to dance with each other while others stood around talking. It felt so good to finally be lighthearted and carefree. It had been so long since anyone felt like they could breathe freely and enjoy the experience of simply living a quiet ordinary day. The only person that remained seated at the table was Lt. D'Arcy. The anxiety she had felt at her arrival had lessened considerably but it was not gone. She was also starting to feel the very light thud of an impending headache beginning. Those had plagued her since the yamanu had been removed from her brain and Dr. Phlox had been unable to find a permanent remedy so far.

Danaë looked around the room and everyone was engaged in social pursuits of one sort or another. Captain Archer was surrounded by several people and involved in what appeared to be an animated discussion of some kind. Trip was trying his best to explain the logic of dancing to T'Pol while trying to show her some steps. Hoshi, Reed and Mayweather were all busy either talking or swaying to the music. This seemed an excellent time to sneak out of the banquet hall unnoticed and the lieutenant did just that, or at least she tried. She was just reaching for the door when a hand softly touched her shoulder and the warm voice of Archer spoke.

"Leaving so soon, lieutenant?"

"I'm sorry, Captain, but I'm tired and my head is just beginning to hurt. Besides, everyone seemed to be having a good time so I didn't think my absence would be noticed," she explained.

"I noticed."

"You notice everything. It's something you're embedded with when you reach the rank of captain." she gave a slight laugh as if garnering Archer's attention were part of a typical day. "I swear someone could drop a bag of bolts in engineering and you would know how many hit the floor." he gave a slight smile at her jest, but it didn't last long. Archer could think of a hundred reasons for her to stay there, but his motives were far more simple. The truth was that he simply didn't want her to go. If his presence was a boon to her confidence then the same could be said of him. Having her there made him feel as though regardless of what was thrown at him, everything would be fine. The way she had spoken to Soval was proof of that. The question was how to convince her to stay without dipping even toe outside of proper protocol.

"It's still early yet and you've hardly spoken to anyone, including me."

"With so many people clamouring for a chance to speak to any one of the so-called 'heroes' of the Enterprise, me slipping out won't make any difference."

Archer knew he couldn't force her to be comfortable in a setting where she wasn't, only time could do that. What he was sure of was that in spite of everything that had happened she couldn't hide away from the world or bury herself in work. She had to learn to live again just as he needed to find the man he had been before the Xindi attack. Everyone on the Enterprise had suffered in some form and yet here they all were laughing and enjoying themselves and it was time she did too.

"Won't you even dance one dance?" he asked. Looking at her in that dress, her long golden curls loose and flowing down her back, Archer knew that at least a dozen partners would line up for her if she only showed the slightest interest.

"No one has asked," she pointed out. "Besides, I'm not much of a dancer."

"Then I'm asking," Archer said, putting out his hand.

"Captain . . ."

"Damhsa." he responded with a wry smile, knowing she would remember this word from their time on the planet Dyfed. When they had joined in the celebration of the new year their Gintare host had told them that this word could never be refused. "That's an order lieutenant."

"Merde." she mumbled softly before taking his hand.

Like so many others on the dance floor they simply appeared as co-workers enjoying a night without any missions, stress or responsibilities. The only observer harboring suspicions about the pair was Captain Erika Hernandez. She watched the two swaying together as the band played 'Crazy He Calls Me' and seeing their smiling faces and the way they laughed she couldn't help imagining the sweet nothings they were saying to each other. Her assumption was wrong of course. Instead Danaë was regaling Archer with a story about an officer on her father's ship who had a cat named spot. Once when she was little she snuck into his quarters and collected as much of the animal's hair as she could find. She then snuck into the quarters of a fellow officer who was Klingon and sprinkled it around so she could watch him sneeze.

When Admiral Forrest's son, Nathan, started asking Captain Hernandez about Lt. D'Arcy, Erika seized the opportunity. She immediately led him over and broke in on the dance to introduce him to Danaë and allow him to cut in. Archer quietly stepped aside knowing that it would be good for the lieutenant to step out of her comfort zone and take another step towards living. The plan didn't work entirely as Captain Hernandez had hoped. Before she could bring up old times or even attempt to rekindle anything with Archer, Admiral Forrest came over and began talking to them. Still, she at least had Jonathan Archer away from Lt. D'Arcy.

When the song ended, the band began to play 'Moonlight Becomes You'. At first Danaë paid little attention to the music, her mind drifting elsewhere as Nathan rambled on about his own aspirations for space exploration. Her attention returned when the admiral's son began to speak of how he had kept abreast of everything that had happened during the mission and had even studied the mistakes he believed Archer had made, such as his handling of the Seleya. This was all in an effort to prepare himself so when took command he would handle things better.

This was aggravating enough but at the same time she began to recognize the music and remembered the last time she had heard it. It was at her sixteenth birthday and she had witnessed her father have a momentary bout of PTSD. In her childish innocence she had wanted to understand what her father had been through, nothing more. A few years later she had used his devastating experience with the Borg as a weapon against him. Well, she understood that trauma now and who was she to have ever judged him for it. Who gave this pampered admiral's son the right to stand in judgement of Archer, or any of them? How could he possibly understand what they had endured. Instantly she stopped dancing and pulled away, her eyes flashing like fire.

"Exactly how many star ships have you served on?" she asked.

"I-I haven't . . ." he stammered, embarrassed.

"A freighter?"

"No."

"Interesting." She glared, her temper starting to boil. "So you've never actually experienced feeling your vessel getting hit by a torpedo or blasted with a phaser. You don't know what it feels like to have the entire compartment you're standing in shake so violently that you're thrown to the ground. You haven't heard the metal creaking and bolts popping along with your own heartbeat as you pray and hope that it all holds together just long enough for you to get out of there before getting sucked into space." Her voice was getting louder as her ire grew causing the other guests to take notice and turn in their direction. "You've never watched helplessly as the blast from enemy fire cuts through the person next to you, melts their flesh or simply rains down broken metal crushing them. Sometimes all three. You've never been shot at by a phase pistol while standing there doing your job, knowing the next one could kill you. You do it anyway because there are too many lives at stake. You've never been part of a crew spending long days and nights on a starship for months or even years at a time, depending on each other for survival. They aren't just crewmates but family."

"I-I didn't mean," Nathan stammered, but Danaë didn't want to hear his excuses. She didn't have to be a witness to Archer's many long sleepless nights to know that he had them. She had seen her father endure them. There was nothing easy about being the captain of a star ship and sniveling idiots like the one before her didn't make it any easier.

"Oh I know what you mean. You see, you have the privilege of being able to look over every log entry view every decision from the comfort of your desk here on Earth and with the benefit of hindsight. You are not, nor will you ever be, in a position where you have to try and summon all your wisdom to make the right decision in less than thirty seconds. Sometimes decisions have to be made that will end up costing a cewman their life. No one wants to make those decisions. No one wants to be responsible for the loss of a crewmember." Hearing this Archer started to take a step forward but Erika's hand suddenly caught his arm and stopped him. Perhaps her reason was partly out of curiosity, but captain Hernandez also wanted to see just how deeply the lieutenant cared about her captain. "You speak in judgement of Captain Archer, but there are things you'll never see written in those reports. You'll never know how a piece of himself died every time a crew member was lost. How hard he fought to protect us, sometimes from ourselves." Tears sprung into Danaë's eyes as she thought of how close she had come to nearly destroying the Enterprise and Earth and how Archer had managed to bring her back from the brink. "He didn't just have his crew to worry about, he had the life of every man, woman and child on this planet weighing on his shoulders. From day one he was prepared to make the ultimate sacrifice if need be to end this conflict. Is your heart and character as strong as that?"

"I'm sorry . . . I didn't know," Nathan responded, more than a little humbled by her words.

"Well now you do." she answered coldly. "Heroes or cowards . . . the dead all look the same. Until you are standing in their place, who are you to judge the choices any of us make?"

Suddenly cognizant that the music had stopped and the restaurant had fallen silent with all eyes on her, Danaë immediately became embarrassed and afraid. She was certain she had gone way too far and undoubtedly upset Admiral Forrest and probably Captain Archer. With many apologies she quickly excused herself and hastily went outside. Following fast on her heels was Archer and after a minute or so Erika Hernandez excused herself and went outside to see if she could help.

Once outside Lt. D'Arcy ripped off her high-heels and hurried towards the nearest transport station so she could go home. The whole time she could hear the captain calling out 'lieutenant', but she ignored him and tried to keep going. She didn't want to hear overused platitudes or the reassurances that everything was going to be okay. She just wanted to be left alone, but after such a verbal explosion on what was supposed to be a celebration, Archer wasn't letting her disappear without some explanation. Reaching out, he managed to finally catch her arm and finally stop her. Certain he was either angry or at least disappointed in her behavior, she couldn't bring herself to face him. Instead she stared down at the pavement as her shoulders dropped.

"What the hell happened back there?" He waited a moment, but she didn't answer. All Danaë could think of was how many times her father had warned her about her temper. "Talk to me," Archer said in a stern but gentle tone. He had no issues backing up one of his officers or crewmen if he believed they were right, but he couldn't do that though if he didn't know exactly what had happened.

"I'm so sorry, captain, I should have held my tongue, I just . . . please give my apologies to Admiral Forrest and if I embarrassed you in any way, I am very sorry. I just couldn't stand listening to that little pissant tell me about his superior leadership skills."

"Oh." Archer responded, a soft smile playing on his lips. Given what he had heard her say to the admiral's son, he had suspected as much. "I wouldn't worry too much about Nathan's opinion. He's always been that way. Nobody takes him seriously, not even his dad the admiral."

"Good to know he's a natural born prick. The tossers never so much as left Earth's orbit, but he knows how everything should have been dealt with." she shook her head slightly knowing she had messed up with how she handled it. "I know, I know I should have kept my big mouth shut, but I couldn't help thinking of all the people we'd lost and everything we had gone through . . ." She put her hands to her temples, the faint thud of her headache starting to get worse.

"It's okay," he said with a slight laugh. He was trying to think of the last time someone had rushed to defend him in such a fashion and he couldn't.

"No it's not. I embarrassed you and everyone else in there." she scrunched her forehead and closed her eyes, trying desperately to make the dull ache go away before it switched to jackhammer mode. At the same time she was trying to act like there was nothing wrong with her and failing miserably.

"You were serious about having a headache earlier, it wasn't just an excuse to leave the party." he commented, gently placing a hand beneath her chin and making her look up at him.

"It's not too bad . . ."

"But it will be," he finished. He could see she was tired by the greyness beginning to appear beneath her eyes "Why don't you go back to Hoshi's and rest. I will take care of any problems that arise from Nathan Forrest."

"No, no I should go back and apologize. . ."

"Lieutenant, I need you to go home and rest. All of us need a good long rest." No statement was ever more true. She nodded and started to turn to go towards the transport station only to have Archer stop her again. "Lieutenant," he said, reaching out and taking her hand in his. "Thank you." he said as she looked back at him. "For what you said back there."

'I only spoke the truth."

The two stood there gazing at each other in a shared look of silent longing until the transport arrived and Danaë boarded and left. From the doorway of the restaurant, Erika watched the entire scene less than pleased at what she was witnessing. Perhaps to everyone else it was just a captain looking out for one of his crew members, but she could see something deeper happening and she didn't like it. Oh, she knew all about Danaë D'Arcy and there were still many questions regarding where she came from. Archer, himself, had spoken about her being from another time. Despite Erika's great respect for the captain, she wasn't so sure she believed in such things.

Respect for Jonathan Archer? Yes, she had that in abundance, but she also still harbored feelings for him. Inside her was a trove of warm memories from when they had dated. Who knows how far things might have gone if he had not been promoted to captain and become her superior officer. Looking at the two of them Erik thought about what she had seen between them since they had returned. It was subtle, but regardless of what was happening or how much space was between them, they never completely let the other out of their sight. If one were to stretch out so much as a little finger then the other would take it and follow.

Did she feel a little jealous, yes, but there was more to it than that. Erika was also concerned about the captain. They had remained good friends over the years and no one knew better than her how hard he had worked and how much of his life he had poured into Starfleet and his dream of exploration. She had watched him put in more hours, put aside other dreams and fight harder than anyone else just to make Starfleet a reality. He had poured every last drop of his blood, sweat and tears into this and now it all seemed to be jeopardized because of some woman who had appeared out of nowhere.

Over the last year she had read each and every report and knew that he had been under a lot of extreme pressure. Anyone would have found it difficult to nearly impossible to handle. What she was afraid of was that in a moment of vulnerability he had gone against his own better judgement. Captain Hernandez wanted very much to know the truth on this matter but the last thing she wanted to do was confront Archer about it. She could see that he still had a great deal on his mind. There was still the matter of his debriefing with Admiral Forrest, where he would have to answer a number of questions regarding his actions. Still, her rank and connections might be enough to make the lieutenant confess or allay any fears she had.