Confessions

Ginny waited by the pool where her and Mike had once shared their first kiss. She wasn't sure what she was going to say to him. She wasn't ready to hear what he may be about to say to her. She heard the sliding door open and shortly after, Mike appeared in front of her. She hung her head low. Not ready to bring herself to look him in the eye, even though she could tell he was searching for hers.

"Ginny. I can explain. Please." He placed both hands on her shoulders. He body tensed. She didn't feel deserving of his touch.

"Ginny. This wasn't supposed to happen. She thinks I'm single. She was angry about you and I managed to convince her there was nothing going on between us. She started talking about missing me. She thinks I'm single. I tried to stop it, but I was afraid she would wonder why single me would resist her. I did stop it but not before a kiss. But that's all that happened. Just a kiss. It meant nothing at all. I've always been a fuck up my whole life. I don't want to lose you Ginny."

Ginny stood looking out to the water. Her heart ached yet felt so very numb. What could she say to him? A fuck up? She was the ultimate fuck up. "I slept with Jordan." The words flowed out just above a whisper. The tone in her voice was dead tone. Emotionless. Just as she now felt as her soul died in that very moment.

There was a long pause. She wouldn't look up and from her limited peripheral view, Mike was frozen still.

"Whhh whatttt?"

Ginny looked Mike straight in his eyes. She could see the raw fear in him. He feared he had heard correctly.

"It seems I couldn't stop it either. Only it was more than a kiss."

"What. How. What the hell?" Mike's eyes darted quickly from her eyes to an empty void over her shoulder. He took a few steps back away from her.

"I'm sorry Mike." Mike began to pace up and down the pool with his hands in his hair. He keep looking at Ginny then the water. His head shaking in disbelief. "Maybe we need a break."

Mike hardly acknowledged her suggestion as he struggled to control his breathing. He looked out to the water as Ginny made her way out of his house and into her car.

Weeks went by. Ginny threw herself into the game. Mike, more serious than ever. Jordan lived cautiously as he avoided eye contact with his rather furious looking coach. He continued to focus on playing ball as he and Ginny continued the momentum of The Wrecking Crew.

On the tour bus Ginny and Jordan went over hitters. All Ginny could do was consume herself with the game to distract herself from Mike and her feelings for Jordan. She often found Mike staring at her as if he could care less who was watching him. She simply disengaged with his gaze and focused on her game.

"Ginny." Jordan came to sit directly in front of her. Both straddling a cement bench outside the pitchers batting cage. "I'm here. Weather you need me or not I'm here."

Ginny smiled and brushed his chin.

It didn't go unnoticed to Mike that Jordan and Ginny were getting closer. From his view, they carried a lighthearted relationship. She looked happy. It didn't help to have to watch the world worship their new Padre Catcher. He was young, fast and San Diego's favorite male model. His half naked body on every magazine. A special on what it's like having Jordan Collins as a roommate aired a week prior. The interviewer asked a series of questions for Ginny as she sat on the couch of their living room side by side with oversized pillows between them.

"Everyone wants to know." The interviewer began. "What's it really like being roommates with San Diego's heart throb?"

"Hmm. Well, he tracks way too much sand in the house on a daily basis."

Jordan threw his head back with a laugh. "Come on! I'm a surfer to the core. That is just part of life. Get used to it."

Interviewer - Fans want to know Ginny. Is it hard living with him shirtless all the time?

Ginny- Hey, What am I? Chop liver. I think you should be asking him how hard it is living with a bod like this?

Jordan - I'm dying here. Just for the record.

Ginny threw a pillow at him rolling her eyes.

Interviewer - You two have been "bestfriends" since you were 16 years old. Everyone seems to see a spark of something deeper going on. What do you have to say to them?

Jordan - We're teammates. They only think they see something because we are of the opposite sex. If I was rooming with Anderson, no one would think any different.

Ginny - I don't know about that.

Jordan - What?

Ginny - It might be hard to live with Anderson actually. He has that adorable mole right above his eyebrow right here.

Everyone laughed except Mike. He was sick watching this young asshole take his life. Jordan was breaking every record Mike had ever set at his age. He was faster, stronger, and apparently more handsome. Worst of all, he had his Rookie.

"You must be pretty satisfied with yourself." Mike said to Jordan in passing.

"Coach?"

"You're fucking her."

"Coach, I don't…"

"Shut the fuck up. Don't dick me around. You know the only reason she's with you is because I broke her heart."

"Coach you've got the wrong idea.."

"Oh save it Collins. It won't last. You're a rebound."

"Mike." This was the first time Jordan called him by his first name. Mike looked taken a back by it. "She was with me before she saw the TMZ story."

"What?"

"She chose to be with me before she saw you with Rachel. I'm no rebound. So maybe, move on."

"Fuck you!" Mike shoved Collins against the wall.

Collins retreated. With his hands up in a surrendering motion, He began walking backwards with his hands still in the air. He then slowly turned to walk away but not before smirking.

"Is it true?" Mike had entered Ginny's locker.

"What? "

Mikes eyes were red with anguish.

"Mike?"

"You were with him before you knew about Rachel?"

Ginny's heart sank. Her eyes began to fill with tears.

"You didn't sleep with him out of anger or revenge? You wanted to be with him?"

"Mike.." Ginny took a step toward him.

He backed away. Tears flowing down his face. "I loved you. I love you."

She stepped closer and he took another step away.

"I'm sorry."

"I thought you were with him because you were angry at me. Why would you do that?"

"Why would I? I don't know. Maybe because it's possible to love more than just one person?"

"So, you love him?"

"NO! I don't know. I've known him for so long. I know him inside and out. Sometimes, It's confusing."

"What about me? Are you confused about me?"

Ginny couldn't find air to say the next words. "No." Heavy tears spilled down her cheeks. "I love you. I am not confused about that. I absolutely love you."

"Then why?"

"I don't have any answers. I wish I could just make it simple. But there is something holding me back from you. I don't know how to turn that off. Let me ask you something. If Rachel were around more often, do you think there would be more moments where you lost yourself?"

"I was married to her!" Mike shouted

"I get that. Look. I haven't come to talk to you because I haven't got this figured out."

"I don't think I can stand around here waiting on you as you fool around with Collins."

"I'm not asking you to wait." Ginny grabbed her bag and walked out.

Mike punched the wall with all the anger and hurt that filled him.