I Hate You, I Love You

~~~

You and I go hard

At each other like we're going to war

You and I go rough

We keep throwing things and slamming the doors

~~~

Trip quickly ducked to avoid the spiked heeled shoe being thrown at him. "Hey! I just bought those for a new outfit!"

"So what?!" Jon yelled. "If you care about them, you wouldn't leave them in the middle of the room for me to trip over!"

"I was breaking them in before showing them off for you!" Trip screamed back as he picked up and threw a coffee mug at Jon, which he wasn't so quick to dodge as the mug caught the top of his shoulder.

Jon threw his hands in the air. "Oh! Were you breaking in that wet towel you left on the bathroom floor too? I told you this morning to pick it up, but no! That's just too hard for you, isn't it?"

"I was getting around to it!" Trip responded as he watched Jon go into the bathroom. A second later, the still damp towel hit his face.

"Real mature." Trip grumbled as he shook out the towel to hang up for drying before it would go into the laundry chute.

"About as mature as you expecting your mommy to clean up after you all the time! I'm tired of this crap! You wanna live like a slob… fine!" Jon pushed his foot into the edge of the table, toppling it on its side as the contents crashed to the floor.

"Are you freaking kidding me right now?" Trip bellowed out his question.

"No, I'm not kidding! Maybe you should just get your own quarters, and then you can be as big of a slob as you want to be!"

Trip stood stunned for a moment. "Really? Is that what you want? You want me to move out?" Trip asked harshly.

Jon was still in a rage as he took large steps across the room, shoving Trip to the wall. His fist raised and hovered a moment before realizing what he was about to do. His arm dropped to the side before quietly speaking. "I think it would be a good idea. I think you will be happier that way. It's obvious you're not happy being with me anymore."

Trip's brows furrowed. He knew that Jon had been under a lot of stress lately, with the Vulcans scrutinizing his every decision, Starfleet watching his every move, he had been walking on eggshells for months. But this… this was something different.

"Jon, what are you talking about? Of course I'm happy with you. This is obviously much more than just a towel or shoes. Talk to me."

Jon turned away, shaking his head. "I'm tired, Trip. Tired of constantly cleaning up after you, tired of your excuses, tired of your lies."

Trip's face fell in shock. "Lies?! What lies? What are you talking about?"

"You know what I'm talking about. I saw you in the shuttle bay… with her!" Jon picked up the other shoe and threw it at the wall. "Are you gonna play dress up for her too?"

Trip stood stunned and confused trying to figure out what Jon was referring to. "I have no clue what the hell you're talking about. Who did you see me with? What?"

Jon spun to look at Trip, glaring dangerously at him. "Don't try to deny it! I saw you holding her and the two of you laughing! Tell me it was my imagination! Tell me it was someone else! Tell me I'm crazy! Go ahead, keep up your lies, but we both know the truth!"

"In the shuttle bay holding…" Trip groaned as he suddenly remembered events earlier in the day and knew that it must be what Jon was talking about.

Trip sighed as he grabbed Jon's hand, leading him to the couch. "Ok, I know you've been stressed out lately, but what you saw wasn't what you think. Jon, I swear I would never, in my life, cheat on you. Lieutenant Franz was on top of the shuttle checking one of the sensor antennas. I had just got done griping at her about not wearing a safety harness when she slipped. Luckily, I was there to catch her, and that's what we were laughing about. Trust me, there's nothing going on between us."

"Sure as hell didn't look that way to me." Jon said, still not convinced of Trip's innocence.

Trip wiped a hand down his face. "Ask her yourself. Better yet, why don't you check the security video."

Jon huffed. "Ok, I will! Last chance to confess."

Trip leaned back into the couch with a smug smirk. "Nothing to confess. Check the video. You'll see me catching her, us laughing, then getting back to work… after I made sure she put on a damned safety harness."

Jon stomped to the desk, giving Trip one last look to see if the younger man would stop him before finding the video feed.

After watching the video, Jon sat looking down, embarrassed by his unfounded accusations. "I'm-I'm sorry. I-I don't know why I thought… I should know you wouldn't do something like that."

Trip crossed his arms over his chest. "Told ya. I don't really know where this sudden insecurity is coming from. Jon… are you accusing me because…"

Jon's head snapped up. "NO! Trip, I swear I never!"

Trip nodded. "I believe you, I just don't understand why you think I would."

Jon shrugged a shoulder. "I don't know. Sometimes I think… well… I know you've been with women before, and sometimes I think maybe you might want that again."

Trip let out a loud laugh. "Jon, come here." He waited until Jon sat next to him on the small couch and rubbed his thumb across Jon's cheek.

~~~

But baby there you go again, there you go again making me love you

~~~

Trip nodded. "I have been with a couple women, but that was before we met. Jon, I can assure you, there's not a damned thing a woman can do for me. At the time, I was still in denial about being gay, but I accepted myself long before you came along, and I can tell you this… I love you with all of my heart. You never have to worry about me going anywhere else but right here… with you."

Jon sighed. "I know. I just… sometimes I think maybe you might want more than what I can offer. Sometimes I think maybe one day you'll wake up and think I'm too old for you and want someone your own age."

Trip took Jon's hand. "And you don't think that sometimes I haven't had those same thoughts about you? We both knew the age difference when we started seeing each other, and sometimes that has led to misunderstandings between us, but no matter what, I know that you'll always be true… it hurts that you don't have that kind of trust in me."

Jon gave Trip a tight hug. "Sweetheart, I'm sorry I accused you of something like that. It won't happen again. I swear."

Trip nodded. "And I guess I can try to do better at cleaning up after myself."

Jon rolled his eyes. "As if we haven't had this argument before. I swear, your mother really spoiled you."

Trip shrugged. "Can't help it that mom always tidied up after us kids." He chuckled. "Hell, I didn't even know how to do my own laundry until I was in college. Mom wanted me to bring my clothes for her to wash, but it's a long way to Florida from Massachusetts just to do a load of laundry."

Jon's jaw dropped. "College? Really? Damn. My dad made me start doing my own laundry when I was 12. Honey, I'm sorry I accused you of something like that, I really don't know where my head has been lately."

Trip shrugged. "I get it, you've been under a lot of stress lately. Let's say we clean up this mess together, then go to the gym and take our frustrations out on a punching bag."

Jon grinned as he picked up a shoe. "Or… I can clean up this mess while you go and put on that new outfit you wanted to show off for me."

Trip gave Jon a sweet smile. "I guess that's another way to work out some frustrations… Johnny cake." He said in his Charlene voice.

~~~

Got you stuck on my body, on my body like a tattoo

~~~

End