Barry didn't sleep too well that night. Though he knew Joe would be up working on his current case like he usually did. He knew he could go down and talk or just sit with him but he decided he liked the quiet.

He liked being alone. Well he thought he did. He told himself he did.

He wasn't sure when he fell asleep but his eyes opened to sun shining through the crack in the curtains. He winced and turned away trying to get back to sleep.

Though he heard footsteps around the house, he knew it wasn't Joe. Interested in knowing who it was, he got out of bed and sped changed into the same clothes he wore yesterday before making his way down the stairs.

He heard Iris before he saw anyone.

He wondered if Joe asked her to come over or if she just came over. He wondered if he told her about last night.

Barry pushed the worry down and carried on walking into the room. He didn't really listen to what she was talking to Joe about. She didn't seem too happy, though when she saw him she smiled.

"Hey Iris," he says faking the happiness in his voice as he sat at the table.

Not to eat, he didn't want anything, just to be with them.

"Dad didn't tell me you were here," she said giving him a smile.

"I didn't think he'd be up by the time you left for work," Joe said as he stood up and dropped his bowl off in the kitchen. "You wanting anything Barr?"

"I'll just get something later."

Barry saw the worried look on his face, he knew Joe didn't want him to go to work today. He knew he wanted him to eat since he didn't have anything last night. But he didn't say anything.

"I'm gonna get ready for work, you should probably do the same I'll drive you," he said as he walked towards the stairs.

"So what's going on?" Iris asked once Joe had closed his door.

"What do you mean?"

"You stayed here last night, dad doesn't look like he's slept and he looked worried about you. Did something happen?"

"It doesn't matter."

"You can talk to me Barry. I'm here if you ever need to."

"Thanks," he said giving her his usual fake smile. "I got someone's number last night."

"Was he cute?" She asked with a smile.

"Yeah he was. I don't know if I'm gonna call him though."

"You should, I think it could be good for you."

"Oliver said the same thing."

"I thought it was Felicity that knew?"

"Felicity knows, I told Oliver the other day and Cisco."

"But not dad?" She said with a small smile.

"No. It's not that I don't want to, I don't know how to. I just don't want him to hate me."

"He's a detective, there's a high chance he already knows. And I don't think he could ever hate you."

"Every time I go to tell him that's all I can think and I know he won't but my mind won't let me see it any other way."

"Are you sure you're okay? You seem different today."

"I'm fine. What's up with you? Engaged life not what you thought it would be?" Barry joked with a smile.

"Engaged life is better than I thought, just a small disagreement."

"You wanna talk about it?"

"No," Joe said while coming back down the stairs. "She doesn't."

"I guess your not allowed," Barry said causing Iris to laugh.

"I don't think I have much choice in that."

"Barry you gonna get ready?" Joe asked as he lent on the back of the chair across from him.

"I am ready."

"You look like you just got out of bed," Iris joked.

"You wore that yesterday, you do have some spare clothes here you know?"

"I know but these are comfortable," Barry lied, he just couldn't be bothered changing again.

"Alright," Joe said with a sigh as he stood up and got his keys. "Iris you wanting a ride to work?"

"I'm just going to drive thanks dad."

"Okay you ready to go Barr?"

"I'm gonna brush my teeth," he said as he stood up.

"I'll wait in the car."

"What happened to you being ready?" Iris asked as the front door closed.

"I wanted to tell you if you needed to talk you can call me or come by the station at lunch we can go out to Jitters or something."

"Thank you. I feel like we never really seen each other anymore, Jitters at lunch would be nice. And if you need to talk call me I can tell when somethings wrong with you Barry."

"I'll see you at lunch," he said with a smile before jogging up the stairs.

As he picked up his toothbrush he heard the door close again. He knew that was Iris. He used his speed, not wanting to keep Joe waiting too long.

After he finished he ran down the stairs and slowed down before opening the door. He locked it with his spare key and jogged to Joe's car.

"Hey," he said as he put his seatbelt on.

"How you feeling today?"

"I'm fine," Barry lied, which Joe knew.

"You know how terrifying it was for me last night getting that call from Oliver? I've almost lost you too many times Barry. I don't know what I'd do if I did, you need to talk to someone. You need to get help because it's obvious that you can't do this by yourself anymore. And I don't know how to help you."

"I'm sorry Joe. I didn't mean to scare you."

"I know you didn't. But this shows that..your doing a lot worse than you say. I didn't tell Singh what happened last night. Just that you needed a bit of help, you need to tell him what happened."

"No I..."

"He needs to know where his officers are, mentally."

"Can't I just go back to Doctor Edwards? I'll be talking to someone."

"Barry this isn't because I want you to tell him. This is because it's protocol, if someone is suicidal they need to tell him."

"I'm not..suicidal. I just had a bad day."

"People who had a bad day don't usually end up where you did."

"I'm fine."

"Talk to Doctor Edwards. Tell her about last night and see what she says about telling Singh or not."

"But if I don't she will."

"Barry you were the one that brought her up," Joe said as he pulled into the parking lot and drove into his parking spot.

"I don't want him to know."

"I know you don't. But he has to."

"I'm not gonna do it again. So we don't need to tell him. I'll find a therapist and I'll talk to them, about everything."

"Barry..."

"Please Joe," Barry interrupted.

"If I think you are getting worse I'll tell him myself, deal?"

"Deal," Barry smiled though Joe sighed. "I'm sorry."

"Doctor Edwards could probably help you find someone if you want to go see her," Joe said as the two got out the car.

"Okay."

The two walked into the building in silence, Barry decided to take the stairs to avoid the awkwardness again. He walked slowly, trying to ignore the dizziness he felt.

Shit. Maybe I should've eaten something.

Barry sat down half way up the stairs for a few seconds. Trying to push the dizziness down. Hoping no one would use the stairs.

He closed his eyes and took deep breaths.

"You okay Barry?" He heard someone ask after about a minute.

He looked up to see Eddie walking up towards him and sitting down next to him.

"What's going on?"

"Nothing. I'm fine."

"You don't seem fine."

Barry had never heard him speak so softly, like he genuinely cared. He sighed quietly, he hated that he was being so nice to him right now. It made him feel bad for not talking to him.

"Was that a panic attack? Kinda looked like one."

Barry knew he shouldn't lie, especially about things like this. But he just nodded. He didn't want to have to explain that he hadn't really eaten anything since breakfast the day before.

"Does this happen a lot?"

"I've not has a panic attack since my early years of collage," Barry said, which wasn't a lie.

"Wait here I'll get you some water," he said as he stood up. "You gonna be okay?"

"Yeah. Don't tell Joe."

"I won't. I'll be right back."

Barry heard the footsteps up the rest of the stairs, the door open and close shortly after. He knew that water would probably help with the dizziness, at least until he could get to the bar that Cisco made he had on his desk.

Though the dizziness was mostly gone he knew as soon as he stood up it would come back. He took the paper out his pocket, that had the number the man from last night gave him.

He was still deciding whether he should call or text. He still liked Leonard, he hoped Oliver was wrong when he said that he was using him.

He put the paper back in his pocket when he heard the door open again.

"Here you go," Eddie said handing Barry a bottle of water as he sat down next to him.

"Thanks."

"It's alright. Singh's looking for you, asked me to tell you if I saw you."

"You know why?" Barry sighed as he took the lid off and begin taking a sip.

"Didn't say," he said watching Barry drink nearly half the bottle. "Guess you really needed that."

"Yeah thanks."

"I'd ask if you want to talk about it again but I know you'll say no so I won't ask. You want me to walk you to your lab? Or to Singh?"

"I'll be fine. Thanks though," he said giving him a small smile.

"Okay, well I'll see you later?"

"Yeah I'll..I'll be out in a minute."

Eddie just nodded as he stood up, Barry felt his reluctance to leave him alone. Though he did, slowly he walked back up the stairs again. And through the door.

Barry sighed as he finished the water. He stood up slowly and walked up the stairs. He opened the door and walked out he threw the bottle in the trash can by the door before walking to Singh's office.