Rey's eyes are wide as she steps out of Ben's car. They've driven over an hour outside of Alderaan to a rural farm that seems to specialize in growing what appears to be thousands of Christmas trees. Her head snaps around to look at Ben, who is watching her carefully, evidently trying to determine whether or not this was a good idea.
She beams at him and jogs around the car to grab his hand. "I thought you didn't like Christmas."
He shrugs, looks away. She can see the hint of a smile tugging at his lips. "You seem to, so here we are."
"I already have a tree," she reminds him.
"I don't. And I saw how you were looking at those bigger trees when we went shopping," he shrugs again and squints into the distance rather than look at her. "It just so happens that I have high ceilings in my apartment."
She squeezes his hand before surging up on her toes and pecking a kiss to his cheek. She turns her attention back to the farm. There's a building in the distance where people are gathered. She can see children and their parents loading up onto a wagon, presumably to go pick a tree.
Ben groans. "You're going to make me ride in the damn wagon, aren't you?"
"This was your idea, Benjamin." She tells him. "You may as well embrace the full experience."
Ben does as she says and embraces the full experience for no other reason than she is absurdly happy about something so small. He had told her to dress warm, and thankfully, she'd listened. She's wearing a peacoat with a thick sweatshirt underneath, gloves, and a knit hat. Her little nose is red and it makes him want to tuck her face into his chest so she'll be warmer.
She doesn't seem to mind the chill though, despite the fact that he knows she hates the cold. She makes him go on the wagon ride, so Ben is forced to sit on the too-small bench with his ridiculously long legs bent at a comical angle. He's certain that if the wagon hits a bump, he's going to knee himself in the face. And while Ben is lucky enough to sit on a bench, there are also several bales of hay to sit on, which is what Rey chooses, of course. The hay is making him want to sneeze and he's a little sour that his girlfriend has decided to sit on the stupid hay rather than next to him.
But every time he sees how wide her smile is, how bright her eyes shine, he tells himself to stop being so grumpy and just enjoy her. She's worth every bit of discomfort.
After the wagon takes them out to a clearing in the field and drops them off, Rey immediately starts assessing the trees. She goes from row to row, her eyebrows furrowed as she studies the choices.
"They all look so different," she comments. "I guess I thought this would be easier."
They all just look like trees to Ben, but he doesn't tell her this. Intellectually, he knows there are different kinds of 'Christmas trees', but the differences are so subtle to him that he would be fine picking the first one they see. He has no such luck, of course.
One of the employees steps up to explain that the farm has several different species of trees to choose from. Ben watches Rey's face as she listens closely, and he gets the feeling that maybe she didn't know there were so many different options.
Finally, after nearly an hour of Rey agonizing over trees, she settles on a huge blue spruce. Ben tracks down one of the workers so the tree can be tagged and then they get back on the wagon for the ride back to the barn.
While they're waiting on the tree to be cut and hauled up to the building, they sit around a fire pit with several other people, drinking hot cocoa and talking quietly.
"Have you ever had a live tree?" Ben asks her.
She shakes her head. "I don't think so. Or not that I remember. I suppose it's possible that one of the foster families I was placed with may have had a live tree one year," she shrugs, "but I don't recall. Christmas was always…"
Ben swallows as he watches the light in her eyes dim a little. "Difficult?"
"To put it simply," she murmurs, staring into the flames. "I guess yours was difficult for different reasons."
"My parents…" He stops. He's not sure that he should be telling her this. His memories from childhood aren't like hers and he doesn't want to seem like he's complaining. But it was hard. "They fought a lot. All the time. Mostly because of me."
He can hardly believe he's said it aloud. His eyes dart to her face and she's watching him with interest, clearly wanting him to elaborate.
"I was an emotional child," he says. He's an emotional adult too, but that's not the point right now. "By emotional," he clarifies, "I mean angry and frustrated."
Rey nods and waits for him to continue and it's...different. He fully expected her to recoil once he mentioned anger issues - his family had spent enough time trying to avoid him because of it - but she seems unphased, at least outwardly.
"I had horrible anxiety too," he tells her. Still do, he adds to himself, wryly. "My mother wanted me in therapy, but my father didn't want that. Said he didn't have a crazy kid, so therapy was out of the question. But he couldn't deal with me and neither could my mother, so it created tension between them."
"That's not your fault," Rey interjects, sitting up straighter. "I can tell that's what you're thinking and you're wrong."
"It's okay," he tells her. "I know they didn't handle it well, but it was because of me…"
"No, Ben," she turns her body toward him on the bench they're sitting on. "It wasn't because of you. They had their own failings, okay? Period. You were a child and they should've handled it better."
"You don't even know how they handled it," he protests.
"Obviously not well since you think you caused it," she insists.
"Rey," he lets out a soft, disbelieving huff of laughter. "It's alright. I was a difficult child, which made me have difficult parents."
Her brows pull together as she looks at him incredulously. She's quiet for a few moments before turning back to the fire pit and sipping at her hot cocoa. Finally, she says, "You're still wrong."
Ben studies her profile, how she's lifted her chin, so sure that she's right about him. He's not sure he's ever had someone defend him so blindly. "Anyway," he says, clearing his throat. "For some reason, Christmas - or any holiday, really - seemed to wind everyone even tighter than normal and there was just...always fighting."
He's still watching her, and her eyes flicker from the fire down to the cup in her hands. "You didn't deserve that, Ben. No matter how unruly of a child you may have been. They shouldn't have fought so much and then made you believe you caused it."
He doesn't want to talk about this anymore because it's obviously upsetting her, but he thinks that she would be just as upset if he tries to talk about her childhood. He takes a sip of his own cocoa and promptly burns his tongue because of fucking course he would. He curses softly and glances at Rey, whose eyes have cut to him. She's trying to hide her smirk at what he's just done.
"Fine. If not angry relatives and shouting matches, what would your ideal Christmas be?" He tries to make it sound like a joke and he hopes it's a safe question. She doesn't have to dwell on Christmases past to tell him what her ideal Christmas would be.
Some of the tension leaves her body and she smiles as she turns back to him. "I'm not sure, honestly. The best Christmas I have ever had was when I was sixteen. That Christmas Eve, one of the local pizza places stayed open and we ate pizza that night and leftovers for Christmas. She got me these warm, fuzzy toe socks and a pair of pajamas and I stayed in them all day on Christmas. We watched movies and ate leftover pizza.
"And I know that isn't the normal Christmas, which is why I have no idea what to tell you," she hums thoughtfully as she slides her hand into his. He gives her fingers a squeeze and then notices that she's blushing a little as she says, "But I think what you're trying to do here is a damn good start."
Ben is not a fan of PDA. Or at least, he hasn't been in the past. But it hardly stops him from leaning down and kissing her. There are at least a dozen other people in close proximity, but he finds he doesn't care. The hot cocoa, he notes, tastes better when drank from her lips.
At some point in mid-December, Ben realizes that he and Rey are seeing one another everyday. It isn't exactly planned that way, but he finds that if they don't see each other for lunch, one of them will make sure that they see each other for dinner. And since Ben had failed to have a plan for his tree other than buying it to make Rey happy, many nights are spent with Rey crafting her own ornaments to hang. Ben usually opts out of the crafts, preferring to play sudoku or solitaire or work crossword puzzles instead.
"You're like an old man," she teases him after she's observed him with his puzzles one too many times.
He raises an eyebrow. "I am a decade older than you."
Rey just rolls her eyes as she gets back to gluing some googly eyes on a popsicle stick and hums along to the tune playing from the Christmas tree.
Somehow, Rey had talked him into the kind of lights that play cheerful Christmas songs. Thankfully, there's a switch that can turn it off. She'd also decorated his tree with beads of red and gold garland. The ornaments have been steadily added to the tree as she's made them, including clear, glass balls that she's stuffed with multi-color pom-pom balls, popsicle sticks fashioned into reindeer and trees and snowflakes, and colorful pipe cleaners twisted into wreaths and angels. Occasionally, she manages to talk Ben into helping her, but his hands are so damn big that they learn quickly that he's not dexterous enough for crafts.
So when he's not playing one of his puzzle games, he watches her, once again struck by the lightness he feels when he knows she's happy.
He takes her Christmas shopping with him for his parents and his uncle, and likewise endures Christmas shopping with her for her work friends. He gets annoyed with her frequently when she refuses to give him any ideas of what she wants for Christmas.
"I just want to see you on Christmas," she says, and he watches as a blush colors her cheeks. "That's all."
"Well, that's a done deal," he tells her, like she should've known this all along. "But if you don't give me some ideas, you're probably going to get something big and then you're going to be mad at me…"
"Ben Solo, you better not get anything ridiculous!" She fusses at him, her hazel eyes wide and serious.
He's pretty sure that the thing he has in mind is ridiculous, but he thinks he can handle some of Rey's indignation in exchange for the excitement he thinks it will cause. Besides, he's asked her at least a dozen times what he could get her and she has been utterly unhelpful, so he figures it's partially her own fault.
"By the way, my mom always invites me over for breakfast on Christmas day, if you want to go. I tend to skip Thanksgiving, but I usually go for Christmas…"
She freezes in the middle of examining a pair of gloves for one of her coworkers - Jannah, he thinks - and looks up at him curiously.
"You want to take me to your parents' house?"
"My mom's," he tells her. "It's usually just me, her and my uncle, though sometimes my dad comes, and sometimes she has a couple of friends over. It's nothing big…"
"I would love to," she cuts in, giving him a soft, sweet smile. She goes onto her tip-toes to peck a kiss to his lips.
Ben doesn't even care that they're on a busy aisle in a busy store during Christmas. When she pulls away, he chases her lips, giving her a more thorough kiss, though not too indecent. He doesn't even care when he hears the teenager girls at the end of the aisle giggle and murmur awwww.
He's not sure when he got so damn soft.
"Why are you so smiley? I mean, you have a great smile, you really do, but now you're just, like, randomly smiling to yourself as you stare at the wall in front of you and, frankly, it's creeping me out."
Rey blinks and looks over at Rose, whose hands on her hips and who is giving her a very serious look. She realizes, belatedly, that she's still smiling.
"I think I have the best boyfriend," Rey murmurs.
Those are words she never thought she'd say. She always thought it was ridiculous when women bragged about how amazing their significant others were. After all, surely they still leave the toilet seat up and leave their shoes scattered all over the floor.
But this, this thing with Ben…
It's special.
"You're doing it again," Rose groans.
"Sorry," Rey mutters and tries to stop smiling so stupidly. "He's just…"
"The best?" Rose says flatly, rolling her eyes.
"He is," Rey says happily.
"I cannot believe we're talking about Ben Solo," Kaydel chimes in, strolling into the room. "He's just so broody, which don't get me wrong, is super sexy. But you're acting like the man hung the moon."
"He's really good to me," Rey says quietly, realizing that she's a little surprised at his treatment of her. She has never thought he'd treat her badly, but the little things he's doing for her are not something she'd counted on.
"Sounds serious," Jessika joins the conversation, sliding into a chair near Rey's desk. "Does this mean you're spending Christmas with him too?"
They are, actually. After spending Thanksgiving break together, Rey had certainly hoped that Ben would make time for her around Christmas, but she hadn't let herself expect it. But Ben has made it clear on numerous occasions that his free time is to be spent with her.
"He mentioned we may even go to his mom's for Christmas," Rey tells her friends. Considering what he'd shared with her about his tense relationship with his family, she had been surprised when he brought it up. But she has a sneaking suspicion that he's doing it for her - trying to give her the traditional Christmas she always lacked.
"I'm so happy for you two," Jessika gushes. "He's so handsome and you're so pretty. The babies!" Jess spins in her chair to face Rose and Kaydel. "Guys, the babies are going to be so beautiful!"
"Oh, no…" Rey says, more than a little alarmed. "Let's not...it's way too soon…"
"Oh, come on, Rey!" Kaydel whines. "It may be too soon to discuss it with him, but what's the harm in just imagining it? I mean, I see guys on the street that are cute and I catch myself thinking about what our potential babies would look like! Don't tell me you haven't ever thought about it."
"Or if not babies, then a wedding," Jessika teases, giving her a wink.
She hasn't though. Rey has never let herself imagine a future that included a husband and children. She's been alone for so long that the thought of something like that, something permanent, is foreign to her. And she supposes that it's strange that she's never dreamed of something like that, but she's been too busy trying to secure her basic needs, trying to put herself through school, trying to keep a smile on her face and be positive.
Romance has never factored into the equation.
Deciding to avoid the topic for now, Rey changes the subject. "I think he may be going on vacation with me in January."
"I still can't believe you're going somewhere in January," Jessika comments. "It's going to be so cold."
"Well, I wasn't planning on going anywhere," Rey tells her. Her probationary period will be up this month and once that's done, she can take vacation. She had originally planned to take a few days off in January and spend them sitting at home. But as soon as Ben realized she had off-time coming up, he had suggested the two of them go somewhere. "I think Ben is going to choose. We haven't talked about where to go, but it's probably best left up to him. I don't really get to travel."
"He makes good money too," Kaydel says. "He's an attorney and his family is loaded. He'll probably take you somewhere fancy."
Rey scrunches her nose. She doesn't know how she feels about Ben taking her somewhere fancy. For one, she doesn't expect him to pay her part of the trip. She had understood it that she would accompany him somewhere, but pay her part. And if he's planning on taking her to some swanky resort…
"I won't fit in," she says, her good mood diminishing by the second.
Rose crosses the room and tugs at one of her buns. "Hey, now. None of that. He is obviously crazy about you, so you'll fit in fine."
But the more Rey thinks about it, the more worried she gets. And it's not just the vacation. When she starts thinking about what his mother's house must be like...he'd told her that his family is wealthy, so she wonders how out of her element she's going to be on Christmas.
"I'm so excited!"
Ben is sitting at his desk, his mother on speakerphone, as he pinches the bridge of his nose and waits for her to calm down. It's three days until Christmas and he's just confirmed that he's bringing Rey for breakfast on Christmas Day.
"You've never brought a girl home before."
"Not true," Ben says, frowning.
"Not for Christmas!" Leia argues.
"I spent Christmas with Zorii…"
"Yes, but you didn't bring her home, Ben. I know you're sensitive about it, but you must be pretty serious about this girl."
"Woman," he corrects, mostly because he doesn't need any reminders about how much younger she is than him.
"Right, sorry. When you're my age, all young women seem like girls. She is young though, isn't she? She looks like it."
"She's twenty-two," Ben admits, and he's a little worried that there's going to be judgment on his mother's end.
"Not surprised," she comments. "Looks like she could be younger."
"And you're good with that?"
"Come on, Ben. There's a decade between your father and I. Do you really think I would care about that?"
"Not the best example," Ben reminds her.
"Speaking of Han, I invited him to Christmas too."
Ben sits up straight in his chair and stares down at his phone. "You what?"
"What? We get along alright for short periods of time...we haven't fought in…"
"You get along alright when you don't speak to one another," Ben hisses. "Now that I've decided to bring my girlfriend to Christmas dinner, you invite him. It's going to be a shitfest." That's his father's word, but it seems very appropriate at the moment.
Leia sighs heavily and the phone speaker crackles. "Have some faith, Benjamin."
"Just...don't pick a fight in front of Rey," he doesn't like the pleading tone of his voice, but it is what it is. He doesn't want his parents to embarrass him in front of his girlfriend. He takes a moment to appreciate how ridiculous it is, considering he's thirty-two and he's nursing the fears of a teenage boy - but it is Leia and Han and they do have a history of making a scene at the most inopportune times.
Leia is quiet for a moment before saying, gently, "You really care about this girl, huh?"
"Woman," he corrects again, and then he adds, almost in a whisper, "Yes, I care about her a great deal."
Ben's office and the DA's office both close on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, so they spend the day before Christmas at Ben's apartment, wrapping presents and making sugary treats. As it turns out, Ben is excellent at making fudge.
Rey moans as she bites into the candy and smirks when she sees that the noise gets Ben's attention.
"I'm jealous that the fudge has that effect on you," Ben scowls, but by now she knows he's teasing her.
"I think we both know what kind of effect you have on me," she wiggles her eyebrows at him and his stern exterior cracks, the corner of his mouth lifting. "Although, the way to my heart is probably through my stomach, if I'm being honest."
He hums. "I cook, you eat. Guess it's meant to be."
It's said casually, and Rey knows it's a joke, that they're teasing one another, but her heart obviously doesn't understand logic. Her stomach flips as though she's missed a step and she tears her eyes away from him for a moment. The words are so sweet. Ben is so sweet. But she almost wishes he wouldn't say things like that. She doesn't fully trust her reactions when he says things that hint at forever.
And after the things that Jessika and Kaydel said about babies and imagining a future with someone, Rey has had to constantly stop herself from imagining things with Ben. It had never happened until her friends brought it up, but now - well, the seed has been planted and Rey finds herself trying to stop its growth. And, while she's not exactly imagining babies or a wedding, for the first time she finds herself thinking about what things will be like for the two of them further down the road. She wonders what it would be like to live with Ben - and not just stay at one of their places together, but really move in with Ben, share his space, maybe even choose a place that is their own rather than her moving into his apartment with him.
She thinks about the vacation they've already talked about and where they might go. She wonders if they have it in them to make it last. If they're together long enough, will Ben fall in love with her? It almost seems ridiculous to think about because no one has ever been in love with Rey that she knows of, certainly no one that she wanted to be in love with her…
Does she want him to be in love with her? She watches him as he takes a small piece of fudge and nibbles on it while he stirs the hot cocoa he's making them on the stove. It's endearing how properly he eats. She would've shoved the whole thing in her mouth in one go because, really, he cut that fudge into bite-size pieces and the three bites he's taking to eat the piece is excessive. But she's getting off track here because…
Yes, she thinks, as her eyes trail the stubborn piece of his hair that falls onto his forehead, that he blows in an attempt to get it away from his eyes. She does want him to love her. Maybe she even wants to love him.
By the time Christmas morning arrives, Rey is experiencing a mix of nerves and excitement. She had agonized over what to wear, but Ben had been little help, merely suggesting she should wear whatever she wanted. But Rey doubts that choosing yoga pants and a hoodie would have made a good impression, so she's wearing a charcoal sweater dress and black tights with ankle boots. She's glad she chose something a little dressier than what she would normally wear because Ben certainly isn't wearing something just for comfort. His sweater is a dark green that somehow lightens his eyes, bringing out almost a hazel color in his normally dark irises. He's paired it with dark jeans and brown dress boots. As good as he looks in suits, Rey finds that she prefers this look.
Leia's house is located just outside the city in an area filled with huge homes. It's situated in a swanky subdivision on a golf course. The houses are so close together and so similar that Rey wonders if Ben ever gets lost looking for his mother's house. It seems a rude question to ask, so Rey doesn't.
Ben drives through the neighborhood, taking twists and turns until Rey is almost convinced that he is lost, but then he slows before he takes a final turn and a huge, white brick house comes into view.
It has a three car garage and a huge circle drive, which Ben pulls into, parking right at the front door. There are a couple of other cars, parked closer to the garage - neither of them as fancy as Ben's. Ben opens her door and helps her step down as she gapes up at the house.
He clears his throat. "That wealthy grandfather I told you about? He was in real estate development before politics. He was the man responsible for building this subdivision. This was the first house here."
"It's beautiful," Rey murmurs, once again feeling out of place.
Ben takes her hand with his free one - the other is carrying a bag with several wrapped presents - and tugs her along after him as he climbs the front steps. The front entrance is a set of double doors that are painted a red and decorated with twin Christmas wreaths. Ben presses the doorbell and Rey takes a step closer to him, then slides slightly behind him.
One of the doors swings open to reveal a tall man with grey hair and some facial scruff he clearly didn't bother to shave this morning. One corner of the man's lips turn up when he looks at Ben and Rey knows immediately that this is Ben's dad. The smirk, the nose, the jawline, the eye shape...it couldn't be clearer. His coloring is all wrong, but she can see it in the angels of his face.
"Hey, Dad," Ben says, "How about you let us in?"
"Oh, sure," the man steps aside and makes a grand sweeping motion with his hand.
If Ben finds it odd that his dad answered the door at a house he distinctly told Rey belonged to his mother, he doesn't show it. His dad sticks out his hand and Ben shakes it, then turns to her as they step inside, the door closing behind them.
Ben gives her a smile and then says, "So Dad, this is…"
"Your girlfriend?" He smirks again, raising his eyebrows, then glances at Rey. "She's pretty. How'd you pull it off?"
Rey can't help but grin back at him and off her hand to him. "I'm Rey Niima."
"Han Solo," he says and shakes the hand she offers.
"Is that Ben?" A female voice calls from beyond the foyer.
"Yeah," Han hollers back and jerks his head in the direction of the voice. "Go on, kid. No use hiding in here. Won't do you any good anyway," he mutters to Ben.
Ben steers Rey towards a long hallway that opens up to a spacious family room where a massive Christmas tree is displayed near a fireplace. Ben's mother and another man, who Rey assumes is Ben's uncle, are sitting on the couch, both wearing glasses, while they flip through a large binder.
"Fuck," Ben breathes, barely loud enough for her to catch.
"Ben!" Leia croons, and beckons them over to the sectional sofa. "Look, your dad brought this album…"
Rey catches Ben throwing his dad a look of utmost betrayal, to which Han responds with a shrug, before shuffling to the couch. He drops the bag of gifts near the tree and collapses on the couch near his mother, looking every bit the sullen teenager Rey suspects he probably was. He pats the spot next to him and Rey happily joins him, patting his knee in support.
Leia shoves the album towards Ben, who doesn't reach out to take it, but recoils a little. Leia ignores him and goes on, "I haven't seen some of these photos in years."
Ben remembers himself amidst the embarrassment, it seems because he says, "Oh, Luke, this is Rey Niima, my girlfriend." The man on the other side of Leia leans forward. He's bearded, and grey, and his is maybe a bit too long for someone his age to be stylish, but his bright blue eyes are open and warm. "Rey, this is my uncle, Luke Skywalker."
"Nice to meet you, Rey," he says.
She gives him a bright smile, "Good to meet you as well."
Ben seems to endure the trip down memory lane and Rey finds genuine delight in getting a look at all the different versions of Ben - six years old, adorable ears sticking out of messy hair as he shows off a pulled tooth; Ben at fifteen, ridiculously tall and awkwardly skinny as he stands next to his dad at a cabin in the woods; Ben at twenty-two, donning a cap and gown at his college graduation, his face looking so young and hopeful.
Eventually, Leia takes pity on Ben and closes the album, announcing that Charles should be about done with breakfast and leads them all to the dining room.
What appears to be a feast is already set on the table with every breakfast item that Rey can imagine - eggs, bacon, biscuits, ham, hash browns, pancakes, waffles, fresh fruit, and muffins.
"Wow," she breathes, and her tummy chooses that moment to give an enthusiastic rumble of approval.
Ben gives a low chuckle and places a hand on the small of her back, guiding her to a chair. Luke and Han sit across from them and Leia sits to Ben's left at the end of the table. Rey has never been invited to have a meal with a boyfriend's family, so she isn't sure how to act. But thankfully, Ben's family does their best to make it easier. They keep up a constant conversation flow, asking about her job and whether or not she likes working for Amilyn.
"She's wonderful," Rey tells them honestly. "Best boss ever."
"She thinks a lot of you," Leia tells her. "She mentioned that you were fresh out of school when you started with her. What was your major?"
"Criminal justice," Rey tells her.
"Huh, same as Ben," Luke comments, turning to his nephew.
Ben is quiet, but that's not abnormal really. She knows that he's normally quiet and withdrawn outside of their private interactions, so she doesn't worry too much about it. He just nods in response to Luke's observation.
"You gonna become a lawyer too?" Han asks her.
"Oh, no, I don't think so," Rey says. It's not something she's ever considered or been interested in. She knows they're probably just asking because that's the path that Ben chose.
"Good," Han grunts, pushing his fork around his plate. "Ben's been miserable ever since Leia made him go to law school."
There's a clatter from Leia's place and Rey's head snaps up to see that she's dropped her fork on her plate and her wide, dark eyes are turned to Han. "That is not…"
Han holds up his hands in surrender. "I'm not trying to start anything, now, Princess. Just an observation…"
"Really?" Leia asks, her voice dangerously calm - even Rey can pick up on that. "Because every time you have the opportunity to bring up how much you hate the idea that Ben went to law school, you…"
"I didn't hate the idea that Ben went to law school," Han's voice rises and Rey feels Ben stiffen beside her. Her eyes shift to him and sees that he's staring down at his plate, his jaw clenched and his fork gripped tightly in his hands. "What I hated was that you forced him to go to law school…"
"Now, Han," Luke says, turning to the man beside him. "Ben's an adult. Leia didn't force him to…"
"I only wanted him to see that his potential…"Leia's voice rises and then all three are speaking at once, loudly - not quite yelling, but enough that Rey is instantly uncomfortable. Her hand finds Ben's thigh and she squeezes it in what she hopes is a reassuring way.
He looks up at her slowly and she can see that his patience is wearing thin. It's not as though he has a lot of patience to go around anyway, but these people are pushing him, and she's not sure how to calm him. Before she can offer him anything - a word, a gentle touch - Ben shoves back from the table and stands.
His family falls silent.
"Can you just fucking stop?" He asks through gritted teeth. His voice is shaking slightly, as are his hands. He's not looking at any of them, but rather his attention is focused on a random spot, seemingly on the plate of blueberry muffins. "I brought a guest, so if all you could just not act like yourselves for a couple of fucking hours, that would be great."
Rey's breath freezes in her lungs as she stares up at Ben. He sounds so embarrassed, and yet so resigned, as though he knew this was going to happen but had hoped for something different. All eyes are on him now and she knows that he hates that. She doesn't know if he would welcome her touch right now, but she can't help it, she wants to try.
Her hand finds his and she squeezes his fingers. He doesn't look at her, but he squeezes back.
Leia clears her throat. "I'm sorry, Ben. We all are. We aren't fighting, sweetheart. You know how we are…"
"I do," he interrupts, nodding his head. "But can you just not be for a while?"
He pulls Rey to her feet and pulls her along after him back into the family room and plops down. He makes to pull her down next to him again, but instead, Rey slides onto his left thigh, not really caring if this is appropriate in front of his parents and uncle, and wraps her arms around his neck.
"'M sorry," he mumbles into her shoulder.
"You have nothing to be sorry for," she tells him as she presses kisses against his jaw.
After a few minutes the other three join them and Leia announces that it's time for presents and proceeds to pass them out.
"So Rey, what did Ben get you?" Han asks. He's taken a seat in a chair across the room, clearly deciding that he needs some space between him and Leia for the moment.
"He's making me wait," she answers, giving Ben a playful glare. "I wanted us to open our gifts to one another this morning, but he said we had to wait until tonight."
"Saving the best for last," Ben mumbles, his dark eyes twinkling as he looks at her.
And so Rey decides to be patient as she sits perched on Ben's lap and watches his family exchange gifts. Han has a small stack too, but he's watching everyone else, seemingly waiting until they're all done. Leia badgers him about it, so he finally starts opening them. Ben's gifts are the last ones he gets to, and Rey knows what they are, so she turns in Ben's lap so she can watch him open it.
Han peels the shiny wrapping paper away from the first one, revealing a wooden box. He mildly fusses at Ben over how much tape he's used. When he finally frees the rosewood box from the wrapping paper, he runs his fingers over the monogramming on the top and one corner of his mouth twitches up in the start of a grin. His eyes flicker to Ben.
Han flips open the latch and, while Rey can't see the contents, she knows that he's looking at a flask set with stainless steel shot glasses. Engraved on the flask are the initials H S, and beneath that, a pair of dice is etched into the metal. And while Rey doesn't exactly understand the significance of the dice, Ben had assured her that his father would like the touch of detail. Afterward, he lifts the bag with the second part of the gift and pulls out some fancy scotch Ben had mentioned his father loves.
The half-smile turns into a grin as Han looks back up at Ben. "Thanks, kid."
Luke strides over to peer at the box and the bottle of scotch, so Han turns the flask set where Ben's uncle can see it better. Han's still wearing his pleased smile, but Rey watches as Luke's brows pull together and the corners of his mouth turn down. She finds her expression mirroring Luke's as she wonders what's caused him to make such a face.
His blue eyes find Ben, and Rey feels him go still beneath her. He practically stops breathing, and Rey turns to him, a question on her lips, but she stops when she sees his face. His dark eyes are blank, as is the rest of his face, as he stares at Luke.
"What?" He asks, his tone flat, but a little too loud.
Leia finally seems to realize that something else has gone amiss as she looks up from the cashmere scarf she received from Ben. Her eyes move between Luke and Ben, then shift to the gift in Han's lap. Her eyes widen and her lips purse.
"Luke," there's a warning in Leia's tone, but Luke doesn't seem ready to heed it.
"Isn't that a little inappropriate?" Luke asks, and oh, but his tone is condescending.
"What's inappropriate about my kid getting me a gift?" Han asks loudly. He snaps the rosewood box shut as he glares at Luke's back.
Luke adopts something that looks like a mournful expression as he looks from Ben, then behind him to Han. Slowly, he turns to Leia, who is giving him what can only be described as a death glare. "So we're going to pretend that this isn't the last thing in the world Ben should be gifting?"
"Oh, shut up, Luke!" Han snaps.
"You shut up!" Leia intervenes, shifting her glare to Han. "Luke may not be handling this with tact, but…"
Rey is lost. The inappropriateness of Ben gifting his father a flask set and a bottle of scotch is lost on her. Is Ben's family staunchly against alcohol consumption? Is Han an alcoholic? She looks back to Ben, who has once again adopted the look of someone barely containing his rage. The muscle beneath his left eye is twitching and his mouth is trembling a bit, as though with the effort to hold in some choice words.
"But nothing! Kid gets his old man a gift and the two of you act like it's some cardinal sin…"
"Because Ben shouldn't be going around anything associated with alcohol," Luke says.
"I live above a fucking bar, Luke," Ben growls, clearly unable to hold back anymore.
"Which is just one more bad decision!" Luke's voice raises now too, where before he had been the calmest of the group.
"Luke, come on! This is what you're going to make a big deal out of? He lives above a bar and you're worried about him buying me flask and some scotch?" Han scoffs and rolls his eyes.
"He's right, Luke," Leia sighs. "It's just a gift…"
Luke throws his arms up, clearly exasperated. "Look, the apartment above the bar is worrying enough, but then he's buying flasks and alcohol for his father, which could very easily lead to him buying…"
"We're leaving," Ben says suddenly, and before she knows it, Rey is being pushed off Ben's lap so suddenly that she almost topples over. She rights herself quickly as Ben stands up after her.
"Oh, no," Leia says, her eyes suddenly wide with worry. "Ben, don't leave."
"No, Ben," Luke chimes in, stepping toward his nephew. "There's no need for that. I can leave. I wasn't…" The older man sighs and runs a hand through his shaggy hair. "I wasn't trying to start something. I just worry about you…"
"Well, stop," Ben says, cutting him off. He's gathering his gifts, but then he seems to think better of it and takes hold of Rey's hand. "I can't- I'm not doing this."
"Ben, wait," Han says, moving the box and the scotch out of his way so he can get up.
Ben's eyes find his dad's and he shakes his head. "Sorry, Dad, I've got to go…"
"Ben, sweetheart, at least take your gifts," Leia is following them as Ben pulls her through the house.
"I'll get them later," he calls over his shoulder.
He's out the door before Rey knows what's happening. He opens the door for her and slams it shut again before Rey's bottom hits the seat. Her mouth falls open as she watches him stomp around the front of the car. Her eyes swing back to the front door, where Leia is standing on the threshold, watching them leave.
When Ben gets in, Rey opens her mouth to ask what the hell just happened, but the look he gives her makes her mouth snap shut again. So she waits. She waits for them to get out of the driveway, out of the subdivision, and back on the highway. But Rey isn't accustomed to keeping her mouth shut when something's on her mind, especially not where Ben is concerned, so after what she deems an acceptable amount of time, she starts in on him.
"What was that all about?" She asks him. He's speeding and gripping the steering wheel so hard that his knuckles are white. He just shakes his head at her. She feels her temper spike. "I deserve an explanation for whatever the fuck that was!"
Ben's head snaps around to look at her and he bares his teeth. "Maybe it's none of your fucking business, Rey. I should've known this would be a fucking disaster."
"None of my business!? You and your family speak in some secret code in front of me and it's none of my business? I'm your girlfriend! Shouldn't I know what the fuck happened?"
"What happened is that someone in my family is always ready to cause a scene, always willing to assume the worst of me for no good reason...and it's not always Luke." He shakes his head and mutters something she doesn't catch. He clears his throat. "Sometimes it's Mom. Dad. It's always something."
She's missing a huge piece of the puzzle, she knows. But she can't make sense of what happened at Leia's house or what Ben is talking about now. And despite Ben telling her it's none of her business she finds that she firmly disagrees.
"Look, you need to talk to me," she tries to plead with him. "Help me understand. None of that made any sense. Is-is your dad a drinker or something?"
She thinks she probably shouldn't have asked that question as soon as it leaves her lips, but it had been her first idea of why his uncle may have been upset. Ben barks a mirthless laugh. He looks half wild right now - his dark eyes wide and bright, his teeth clenched so hard she can see the tension in his jaw.
"My dad's not a drinker," he says in a low voice. "Or rather, he is, but he's not a problematic drinker."
Rey stares at him from across the car, waiting for the other shoe to drop because she can feel it. There's something dark that's been locked away and Ben's about to release it. His chest moves with his labored breathing and pushes his tousled dark hair away from his face. His eyes slide to her.
"It's me, Rey. I'm an alcoholic."