Trigger Warning

Barry and Snart had been meeting up after Barry finished work most days for almost two months. They had made it official, though not too many people knew about it.

They decided to go to the bar Snart usually went to for their first official date. One the police never cared to go near too often.

As much as Barry felt bad for dating the man who he knew he should turn into the police, he also hadn't been happier in years. They both knew being out in public was a risk which is why they had a plan for if anything happened. One Barry didn't like but still agreed knowing Leonard's reasons.

They played darts for a while though Snart was sure Barry was using his speed to win. Causing them to get food before playing another game.

"You sure you don't want anything else?" Leonard asked his voice laced in worry as looked at Barry's fries.

"Yeah not really hungry."

"You don't need to lie to me Barry. But you don't need to talk about it, if you don't want to."

"I don't know..it's just hard today. Sorry," Barry said looking down at his food, picking at it slightly.

"You have nothing to be sorry for. You can't help the way your mind works."

Barry just smiled before eating a few fries. The two spoke while they ate. Getting to know each other even more. Though Barry got distracted by the man who kept giving the two looks from the bar. He thought maybe he could just tell they were gay.

Barry just ignored him and tried to finish his food. Which he couldn't. But just drank water while Snart was still eating.

"I'll be right back," Snart said as he touch Barry's hand slightly before standing up and walking towards the bathrooms.

Barry looked towards the bar seat that the man was on only to see him gone and Singh talking to the bartender. He felt panic rise up, he knew why he was here. He should've known why that man was watching them.

"Barry? What are you doing here?" Barry heard Singh say.

He looked up to see him standing next to him. He didn't notice him move. He didn't notice anyone turn up there.

"I..like their fries."

"Looks like you're here with someone else," he said looking to Snarts plate opposite Barry.

"Yeah I'm on a date."

"That's good. I'm happy for you."

Barry saw the officer walk into the bathroom, he knew there was no way for Snart to get out. He also knew they were both in trouble.

"He's in here!" The woman shouted before dragging him out in cuffs.

Barry considered running while all eyes were in Snart. But he knew he'd just get into more trouble if he did that. As much as he wanted to run he didn't. He sat there as Singh tuned back to face Barry while Snart was lead out the building.

"I think you need to come with me," he said calmly.

Barry sighed quietly as he picked up Snarts hoodie after standing up. He followed Singh out the building and got into the back of his car.

"I told you not to get involved with the Barry, do you know how much trouble you could get in for this?"

Barry stayed quiet, he just watched everything happening out the window.

Barry was quietly brought into an interview room. Only the few people who were at the bar knew he was there. He also knew Joe would be told about him being there.

Barry sat alone in the room while Singh spoke to Leonard. One of the officers that knew he was there was standing outside the door. It was protocol.

He sat there for almost about half an hour before the door opened. Singh walked in, he closed the door behind him and slid a glass of water over to him as he sat down.

"I spoke to Snart. He's protecting you I know he is. You want to tell me your side, why were you there?"

"He's been trying to get in contact with me for a while. I kept ignoring him, I didn't want to see him. I didn't want this to happen."

"Why did you end up going to see him?"

"He sent another message saying that he just wanted to see me without glass between us, he wanted to say goodbye. He said he wouldn't try and contact me anymore if I saw him this time."

Barry hated saying what he was saying, but he'd promised Snart he would if something like this ever happened. He urge to run, get Leonard and just run away with him for stronger every minute he was in that room. But he couldn't.

"Why didn't you come to me? Or Joe? Why didn't you say anything about this?"

"I..I don't know," his voice broke.

"Barry your facing aiding and abetting charges. And you being a meta human isn't going to help your case. I don't want that for you, so you've got to talk to me. Why didn't you come to anyone on this case?"

Barry felt the tears form in his eyes. He saw the look on the captains face when he noticed that.

"Because I love him," he said as a tear rolled down his face. "I..I didn't want him to get in trouble."

"Barr..."

"I'm sorry."

"I'm gonna give you a minute while I go write this up. Joe knows your here and wanted to see you do you..want me to let him in?"

"Yeah thanks," Barry said as he wiped the tears away with his sleeve.

Barry was embarrassed that he hair cried in front of his boss. He sat there uncomfortably as the door closed. He dropped his head into the table not so carefully causing a thud.

He wondered what Joe would say. If he would be disappointed. If he'd shout at him for being reckless, for not thinking, for not doing his job, as the flash or an member of the ccpd. It worried him. He wasn't sure if he could handle that right now.

He sat up after it stared getting uncomfortable and began subconsciously scratching at his hand. He didn't really notice until his fingers felt wet. He looked down and noticed the blood.

"Shit," he said quietly.

Though he kept going. The pain distracted him. The burning feeling distracted him. The door opening made him jump, he somehow forgot that Joe was coming.

"Hey Barr," he said softly as he sat where Singh had been sitting. "You okay?"

"Yeah," he lied, he kept his hand under the table so Joe didn't see. "I'm sorry Joe."

"It's okay, we'll talk about it later. Singh said he was worried about you?"

"I'm..just tired," he said with no emotion in his voice before putting his head in his hands.

"Your seeing your therapist later today right?"

"Probably not gonna make it in time. It's in half an hour."

"Singh's probably gonna be back soon hopefully you'll be free to go and we both know your not exactly a slow walker."

Barry smiled as he picked his head back up. He forgot about his hand, he knew Joe had seen it.

"I can get you a bandaid for that if you want," Joe finally said, Barry knew he wanted to say something for a while.

"Thanks."

The door opened again after a small knock, it was Singh again.

"I'll get that bandaid," Joe said as he stood up and began walking out the door while David said across from Barry again.

"Everything's okay?" He asked as the door closed.

"Yeah."

"Alright."

Barry knew he didn't believe him.

"Your story's match. I have no reason to charge you with anything Barry. It's clear that you made this decision under emotional distress, your free to go."

"What about Leonard? What's gonna happen to him?"

"He's going back to iron heights. I'm sorry Barry, I know you care about him."

"It's okay," he said with a fake smile. "Am I allowed to go now?"

"Yeah, maybe you uhh should stay with Joe for tonight. I know he worry's about you too."

"Thanks but I've got a therapy appointment in twenty minutes," Barry said as he stood up.

"Oh good luck," he said standing up too. He looked worried.

"Thanks."

Barry gave him a small smile before walking out the door. Joe was waiting, he had a bandaid in his hand. He walked with Barry towards the elevator.

"I'll be fine without it," Barry said as Joe tried to hand it to him.

"Barry."

"Okay," he said as he stopped and took it out his hand.

He unwrapped it and stuck it over the scratch that had now stopped bleeding. He threw the wrapper in the trash can next to someone's desk and carried on walking.

"I'll see you later."

"I'll be home around six," Joe said as Barry walked into the elevator.

"Okay."

After Barry saw his therapist he went to star labs. Seeing him made him feel worse sometimes, today was one of those days. After a long walk he decided to go to star labs, see if anything was happening to take his mind off things.

He walked there too, which surprised Cisco, he was used to him running in. He wasn't used to being surprised that he was in the room.

"You alright?"

"Just need a distraction, anything happening? Or is Wells here?"

Barry knew Wells wanted him to get faster, running helped distract him. Which meant Wells helping him get faster distracted him.

"He went home already and yeah the ccpd are busy tonight," he said causing Barry to quickly change into his suit. "Guess I'll be giving you directions."

"Thanks," Barry said as he was about to speed out the room, though Joe walking in the room stopped him. "I know we were going to talk but the city really needs me right now."

"It's alright Barry, I'm just glad you're okay you've not been answering your phone."

"Yeah, sorry I needed to be alone for a bit after I saw Dr Bradley. I'll talk later," Barry said before flashing out the room and out the building.

He headed to a house that was on fire, quickly got everyone out before putting the fire out. Then headed to the next thing. And after that the next thing. He kept going for a few hours until things started to get quiet.

He dropped the suit off at star labs before heading home. He decided he'd talk to Joe tomorrow.

He unlocked his door and locked it behind him. He walked into his living room, dropped the keys on the table and sat down. He dropped his head back and sighed, he felt numb. He hated that feeling.

He stood up and walked into the bathroom. He took the razor blade out that he had hidden at the back of the cabinet before rolling his sleeve up.