Nine months later

"Hey."

Ziva looked up at her partner (her partner). She didn't ever think she was going to have the opportunity to say that again.

"Hello, Tony."

She felt like she probably should point out that this was the women's bathroom but one, she knew that she was the only person here and two, would Tony even listen if she asked him to leave?

The stood in silence, Ziva not moving from her position of leaning over the sink. Tony stayed by the door; she could feel him watching her carefully.

Carefully. Oh, how she hated that word. She had to be careful. Everyone handled her carefully. People were careful of her emotions. Like she was weak. Because she was weak. She really was. If she was strong, she wouldn't be reacting like this. She wouldn't be feeling like she was. She hated it.

Was Tony even going to say something or was he just to stand there and stare at her, waiting for her to explode or something? Not that she really blamed him if it was the latter, her emotions had been all over the place recently. Thankfully, they hadn't affected her work but that didn't mean that wanting to cry one minute and then get angry the next was normal.

"Are you okay?"

She made an unhappy scathing noise instead of responding to that question. Something else she hated more than people treating her carefully. The checking up on her. The making sure she was okay. She hated it, hated it, hated it.

More silence. Did Tony just not know what to say or did he have nothing to say? Was he trying to treat her like a suspect in an effort to get her to talk or did he have just as hard a time as thinking what to say like she did? She never had this problem before but she never experienced something like this either.

"Ziva..."

"I am fine."

And yes, she had meant that to come 0ut as biting as it sounded.

Tony didn't say anything but he didn't have to because she saw how high his eyebrows rose in his reflection in the sink mirror.

Whatever, he didn't have to believe her. He just had to leave her alone. Because that's what she wanted. To be left alone.

However, she was having a hard time voicing that. She was having a hard time saying anything. This was so stupid.

"I saw Amelia today," she said suddenly, shocking herself by saying it.

Tony obviously didn't expect her to say that either because he did a double take in his shock.

"Amelia?" He sounded confused.

"Yes."

"Amelia, Amelia. Who is Amelia?" He held his hand up. "Wait, don't say it. I know this. I know I know this."

Ziva couldn't help it, she cracked a smile.

"Amelia...seriously, I know this."

"Would you like a hint?" Ziva asked, straightening up and actually turning to face him instead of talking to him through the mirror.

Tony frowned at her and shook his head. "No, I know this."

He really didn't but Ziva did as he requested and had far too much fun watching him mutter to himself and get more and more frustrated.

"Oh, okay, fine, give me a hint," he said, throwing his arms up in the air in exasperation.

"Words."

Ziva thought that that was a fair enough hint. Maybe she should have said 'word games' but she felt that that was far too obvious. She couldn't just hand him the answer on a plate, could she?

"What kind of clue is that?" He asked indignantly.

"Your clue."

"Hmpf."

He went back to muttering to himself, though this time with two words. Z9va saw the exact moment everything clicked for him. The most hilarious look of realisation went over his face.

"Oh. Amelia."

"Yes."

Ziva didn't need him to describe her to know that Tony knew exactly what Amelia they were talking about here. Did he even know that many Amelias?

"What was she doing?"

"She was with her children," she said slowly as she remembered. "They have all gotten so big."

Children tended to do that after nearly a year. A year. That sounded like an awful long time not to see somebody. Which it was.

"What did you say to her?"

Ziva made a self-deprecating noise.

"Say? I said nothing."

"Nothing?"

"Yes. Nothing."

She had just watched her from a careful distance. She was still the same Amelia, nine months hadn't changed much about her, after all.

"Not even hi?"

Ziva shook her head. No, she hadn't said anything. And she didn't know whether or not she should be ashamed of herself. On one hand, it was embarrassing that she couldn't go up to a friend and say hi. But 9t was that word that was the problem. Friend. Was she really Amelia's fired anymore? Could she say that after all that had happened in the intervening months. Or what had happened before? In hindsight, Ziva knew she hadn't exactly been a good friend even before the past summer. She had been downright awful.

"I couldn't," she admitted, letting more shame well up in her.

What sort of pathetic person couldn't even say hi?

Tony looked like he came to some sort of realisation and then gave her a suspicious look.

"Ziva, have you contacted any of your old Scrabble friends?"

Ziva didn't answer, instead she looked away which was basically as good as an answer.

"Ziva..."

"I do not know what to say!" She exploded, releasing her pent-up answer. "What am I supposed to say, Tony? That I'm sorry but I allowed myself to get manipulated? That I was behaving horribly? That I, I, I am damaged?"

Her chest was heaving at the end of her little rant. And she felt no better for it.

Tony said nothing. Made no move to comfort her. And she was glad. She didn't deserve any consoling or comfort. She had to feel this.

"You could start by saying hi," Tony said quietly.