"Physically, I'm undeniably strong...yet I lack what every hero holds within their heart. A strong mentality."
A dream, a dream where she was falling from the clouds slowly dressed in white. At first glance it would look like she was sinking to the bottom of the ocean the way her hair flowed in the air. She was falling, but there was no ground.
The sky turned to paper and angel wings flashed before her. Temari had seen it all at this point. Instead of panicking she let her surroundings consume her and take grasp of her soul.
She was surrounded by paper angels, those Amber eyes lingered in her mind. A gust of wind pushed Temari's dress and hair up before flowing back down. Her body floated upright with her hands extending outwards still limp. Blonde bangs covered her tired teal eyes that were hiding from bright orbs.
"You're awake. Did you sleep well?"
Temari saw purple hair before anything else. A beautiful woman with short purple hair and a lip piercing floated in front of her. A paper flower was entangled in her soft locks complimenting her white qipao that stopped right above her knees. She was staring with kind eyes saying nothing with her mouth, yet she spoke through Temari's mind.
Temari opened her mouth to try and speak but the woman put up her index finger.
"There is no need, speak through your soul, Temari."
"Did you save me?"
"I've been watching. I helped when you struggled mentally."
"I could have fought him myself."
"This war was only one you could see, Temari. When faced with trauma, you get put into the world of the real, and the world of your trauma. What you see was only partially real...mind games infiltrated your mind."
"Does this make me weak?"
"A weak body takes a few weeks, but a weak mind takes years. You possess the one thing you refuse to show."
Temari lifted her head to look at the woman.
"Your heart."
"Who are you?"
"There are things we do in this world out of love...Things I regret. But time continues on. I have been watching you to atone for my own sins. Just like you, I was not meant for the life I was given. I'm simply playing a role so I don't get killed."
The woman floated around Temari's body and then stopped lifting her head to the sky.
"I am Konan."
"Konan… would you break the cycle if you could?"
"My fate has already been determined. I used to fear the future, but I know what is to become of me."
Konan swirled back around to face Temari and looked back at her.
"When you love someone, never let them go."
Temari looked around to see paper clouds trying to make out her surroundings better.
"What was his name?"
"Yahiko, but there was also Nagato. My love for Yahiko pains me to this day, he showed me love, he held my heart in his hands. All I have now is Nagato. He tried so hard to make me happy... I've now put my life on the line to keep him safe."
"Temari… I chose to help you because I once lost the love of my life. You lost your mother, your younger brother went insane during your childhood. Your father was rogue. You're holding onto your brothers and Him. You've stayed strong for so long, but your mind is weak. Once you strengthen your mind, you will realize how powerful you truly are."
The paper began to swirl into a storm around the two faster than light.
"W-who?"
Temari squinted her eyes to see her mother as an angel smiling back at her. Her eyes were calm and she looked like she was finally at peace the way she glowed.
"Mom!" Temari shouted to her mother as her radiance filled the paper sky. The two were within feet of each other as Konan kept her distance behind Temari smiling.
Karura's eyes welled up to the sight of her now grown daughter.
"I love you, Temari, tell your brothers they are loved. You can do anything you put your mind to. I'm always here with you, I never left. I am the sand that protects Gaara, the strings that hold Kankuro, and the wind you fly in. Never forget that."
Karura floated towards the light, fading the higher she got.
"You can do anything in life, as long as you're doing it from the heart."
Going, going, gone.
"Thank you.." Temari refrained from crying but felt relieved she finally got closure.
Konan smiled and sighed as she controlled the paper skies once again, signaling that it was too her time to go.
"Take care of yourself, Temari. And always remember, flowers can only wilt in a world without light."
Temari's eyes opened and she was back in her Kimono. Her hair was still in neat pigtails, her tessen was secured and her belongings were still next to her. It was at that moment when Temari realized she was not in the land of Rivers, but within a mile from Konoha's gates.
She patted herself down and looked up at the sky thankful before running towards the gates. The only thing on her mind was Shikamaru, the only person she needed to see was him.
Before she knew it she was at the gates, not knowing what she was going to say or do when she met with him. To her surprise, he was standing right there waiting.
"How did you-?"
Shikamaru didn't even let her question him once more. Instead he took her within his arms and hugged tightly without saying a word. At first, she was puzzled but eased herself into the hug and returned the favor.
He grabbed her hand and pulled her away from the village gates and began to run still without a word. She struggled to keep up with him despite her hand in his, only to be picked up in his arms as he kept running. He went around the village rather than through it to avoid being seen to get to the Nara Clan Forest. His heart was racing as he ran. He was letting go of all the sorrow and loss he just endured in such a short amount of time with silent visible tears streaming from his face. At first, Temari was surprised but instead of asking questions, she tightened her grip around Shikamaru's neck and closed her eyes.
Once in the Nara Clan Forest, he put Temari down and threw her things off to the side. He then grabbed her face aggressively and kissed her softly up against an oak tree. He traced his hands from her cheeks to her neck and then her waist still holding on like it was life or death in that moment. Temari returned the favor and wrapped her arms around his neck before breaking free.
"I'm sorry for-"
She looked up at his dark brown eyes as they caught her mid speech. "-I'm sorry for not believing you. I'm sorry for taking all of this lightly. You must think I'm shitty for all of this, I know I am."
She smiled and looked down.
"Temari, the truth is, I don't know how I'm going to feel tomorrow, or in a week. There are a million scenarios in my head with a trillion more possibilities beyond that. What I do know is that in this very moment, I do love you. And I want nothing more than to be within your presence if you'll allow me after all of the shit I put you through."
"Shikamaru… I have always loved you. Even if I don't want to admit it sometimes, I do. I told myself I would love you even if you didn't love me back. Before you, the only love I knew was the love I had for my brothers and mom. But ever since I met you, I found myself around you way more than I had intended. I'm sorry for not listening to you."
Shikamaru took her face within his palms and pressed his forehead against hers.
"Don't apologize, if you had listened to me you probably would have been dead."
The two released themselves from each other and sat on the forest ground looking out at the trees. The sky was calm, with the sun creeping through the tree leaves.
"I…" Temari paused to gather her thoughts and then proceeded.
"I miss my mother. Life got so hard after losing her.. But for once in my life, I feel like I got closure."
He was alarmed by how open and transparent she was at this moment. Being known as the cruelest kunoichi, one wouldn't dare to think she held onto such emotions or could even openly talk about how she truthfully felt.
"Everyone in Suna will tell me, 'what about your father? What about Rasa? Rasa did so much for you and your siblings. Give him his flowers!'"
Temari pursed her lips and winced. "What people don't understand is that my father tried to kill my baby brother by using the closest thing we had to my mother."
"What was her name?"
"Karura. She was so beautiful. And my uncle Yashamaru was her twin. If they were the same gender you would not have been able to tell them apart. My father used him to try and kill Gaara. Kankuro and I tried so hard to love and be there for Gaara, but my father wouldn't let us. It got so bad to where he cut 'love' into his forehead because he wanted to feel it. All I ever wanted was for him to understand that she did love him. She loved him so much she fought so hard to keep Suna from putting Shukaku within him. But my father insisted, and when she died, he reflected his pain onto us."
Temari shrugged and laid her head on Shikamaru's shoulder as she reached for her back pocket. She pulled out a well preserved, folded, old sepia toned photograph of her mother holding her and Kankuro only a year before Gaara was born. She passed it over to Shikamaru and looked down at the photo stroking her thumb on her mother's face.
"Admitting my love for you, was harder than admitting how much I miss her, and how grief has taken a toll on my personal relationships with others. Trying to forgive my father for the bullshit he put all of us through is still something I struggle with today, but I know in the end it will always be harder for Gaara than it will be for Kankuro and I."
Shikamaru could feel his heart drop. Karura and Temari were almost identical, with Temari's hair being a few shades lighter than her mother's and their eye color being different. The photo felt so alive, so mesmerizing.
"What did you love most about her?"
"Her fighting spirit. My father was corrupt, but no matter what, my mother put us before anything and tried her best to let us live a normal childhood away from war. I don't know what she saw in my father, but she was the one thing that kept him from going overboard. Once she died, war was all we knew. Baki had told us that mother was a strong kunoichi, but she never used her abilities after she gave birth to us."
Temari positioned her body so that she was facing him and looked into his eyes. "I would never tell anybody any of this or even show them a photo of my mother for no reason. I need you to know that even when it doesn't seem like I show compassion, even when it seems like I'm a ruthless killer, desensitized, heartless, on the inside I'm still trying to heal from a lifetime's worth of trauma."
Shikamaru sighed.
"I never meant to come off as shallow, or careless. I've always wanted to live a normal life. I'm not cut out for this ninja stuff. If it were my way I would just have a normal job, have a normal family and just live the way I want to live. But because I'm the heir to my clan, my life will always remain far from normal. When I started developing feelings for you, I would only allow myself to get so deep before I got terrified. I thought my life was bad, but looking at yours- a whole country relies on you. So many people look up to you. I felt like I would just get in the way. I felt like my dream for a normal life wasn't realistic with you."
"How do you know that's not something I would want too?"
"I didn't. But talking to you now, I understand that you never had a choice. Every path has been chosen for you."
Temari rolled her neck and let strands of her hair fall in between her fingers.
"I may not have the strongest mentality when it comes to dealing with trauma, but I still have a heart."
"I want to try things with you, seriously this time. Even if I'm not comfortable being out in public going on corny dates or whatever you women like, I'm willing to try to see where it takes us. I'm far from perfect. I need you to help me."
"Oi, the boy with the 200 iq needs my help eh?"
"Shut up will you?"
"Only if you help me let go of everything that's built up inside of me."
"I can build up inside of you." Shikamaru smirked only to be greeted by Temari's quick slap.
"What a-"
Temari straddled Shikamaru and covered his mouth, giggling at his surprised reaction.
"-drag, yea, I get it."
The two ended up setting up a picnic in an opening at the far end of the Nara Clan Forest. The serene environment allowed the two to embrace one another and look at the clouds while they ate little sandwiches, various snacks and drank tea. Temari let her hair down and sat with her legs folded with his head in between as she messed with his hair. For a while he was cloud watching, but soon closed his eyes to listen to the sound of nature.
"Hey Temari?"
"Yes?"
"I didn't even know you were coming back to Konoha, I had a feeling you were coming back to kill Hidan, then again I didn't. Something just told me to come to the gates. What even happened?"
"You're not wrong, I was. But I never made it in time. Have you ever heard of psychological warfare?"
"Kinda, that's actually something I barely read into. Mind games were never a big deal to me."
"Say what you want about it, let's just say I experienced it first hand. I made it out alive, that's all that matters."
"...Well, how'd you get out of it?"
"An angel saved me."
Shikamaru opened his eyes and looked up at her in disbelief.
"Ha-ha very funny, seriously how'd you do it? I want to be prepared in case this happens again."
"Nobody is ever prepared when it comes to the battle between mind, body and soul. A weak mindset will be your downfall. Remembering what's real and what isn't, your heart and true intentions versus someone else's will allow you to win in the end."
Shikamaru was growing noticeably impatient.
"Troublesome. Don't tell me then."
Temari giggled.
"I already told you, crybaby. An angel saved me."
"O-okay Temari." He let out a sarcastic laugh, got up from her lap and lifted his tea cup to his lips.
"And what was this supposed Angel's name?"
Temari wasted no time answering and smiled.
"Konan." and that response was what caused that bittersweet chai tea to come out of Shikamaru's nose at that moment.
A/N:
The end to an era! Thank you all for the support! I truly needed it. Next, I'll be writing mainly one shots until I can figure out a proper schedule. Any edits done on this story are probably minor things I found as I reread. I hope everyone enjoyed!
Tumblr: Animepetals
Deviant art: jaimetsunamii