Notes:
"Facing it, always facing it, that's the way to get through. Face it." - Joseph Conrad
Hello! Oh my gosh! Ahh! Hi! I'm not dead!
Thank you so, so much for the enduring support and for having such an incredible patience with my update schedule. I appreciate every bit of it. All of the comments, all of the DMs, ugh, I'm literally losing my mind. Thank you, guys. Seriously, I can't believe how many people tune in to read this. Y'all make me shed tears of joy.
A little update: I moved, I traveled cross-country, I built stuff, I STARTED A LITTLE FARM, and I worked WAY TOO MUCH these past two months. Nothing is off the table at this point.
If my writing sounds different, it's a mixture of no sleep and not re-reading my own writing. (Heh, I need a secretary. I blitz-wrote this.)
I'll definitely still be posting. The monthly release is still a goal. So sorry you've just slowly watched me put this off longer and longer. You deserve better. (It's NaNoWriMo, the holidays, university exam season-) BUDDY, HANG IN THERE. WE'RE SO CLOSE. AHHH. I just need to see Tadashi become Sunfire, okay?! I've been waiting since 2014. "We get there when we get there," I say as I drive our metaphorical fanfic vehicle off a cliff. (Also, your lovely comments peer-pressure me to write and I LOVE IT. YES. BULLY ME, PLS.)
Anyway, stay awesome. Love you. Say hi to your mother for me. BYE.
The bathroom door creaked open as Hiro shouldered it open. He took a deep breath and tried to glance away. Tadashi sat slumped over in the tub with his face in his hands, still covered in extinguisher foam.
Great. So much for ignoring the changes. And why fire of all things? Surely, there were other, more creative options. But that was beside the point.
Hiro stepped onto the tile, his shoes sticking onto the drying extinguisher foam. He tried his best to clear the burning sensation from his throat before saying a word.
"You... okay?" he asked quietly. Tadashi slowly nodded with his face still buried. 'Yeah.'
Good. That was good. That was all Hiro needed to know. His brother was moving. He was alive. He was still... pulling it together. Keep it slow.
"So," Hiro began," "H-how much did you hear?" The bathroom was disturbingly quiet as Tadashi looked up somewhat and wiped away the remaining lather from his face.
"Enough," he smiled faintly.
Hiro looked away. Something about Tadashi's grin made his blood boil. Like this was fine. Like he didn't disappear. As if him showing up was supposed to make sense. All the words Hiro mentally prepared in the stairwell seemed to vanish. Was he even mad about the superhero stuff? How do you even make light of something like that?
His shoes led him to the side of the bathtub as the sound of the foam fizzling filled the room. He couldn't look Tadashi in the eyes. At least, not right now. But he could still try to talk. He fixed his gaze towards the wooden cabinets beneath the sink and slid down against the wall.
"Don't know how we're gonna explain this one to Aunt Cass," he finally managed to say.
Tadashi let out a half-hearted laugh. The quiet ones he used to offer Hiro when he was anxious or overthinking. Something about it felt nice but the timing was wrong. Still, Hiro didn't react. He continued to stare at the cabinets as Tadashi's vague smile faded and the exhaustion set in.
"Not too sure about it, either."
"And I didn't... it didn't hurt you, right?" Hiro asked, eyes going wide, his line of sight still locked on the hardwood. "With the extinguisher?"
"Well... I mean, you didn't really give me a warning or anything."
The defeated look on his face spoke for itself, "What else was I supposed to do, huh?"
"Maybe not use it?"
"Not use it? Are you crazy?"
"No. Underprepared, maybe. I don't know how this works."
"You don't know? You were on fire! How can you not know?!"
"And I thought you were taking everything else pretty well! What am I supposed to tell my little brother? 'Hey, I burst into flames?'"
"Yes! That's exactly what you say! From day one!" Tadashi looked back at him, lost for a smart response. Hiro groaned as he wrapped his arms around his knees and buried his face from view. No joke would make their situation okay.
Hypothetically, there was a day where he imagined Tadashi coming back home. He would walk through the cafe door and smile. Aunt Cass would scream and they would end up in a big hug. They wouldn't be fighting, not like this. Arguing was the last thing he wanted.
The sound of the foam evaporating was the only response back.
"You've got good friends," Tadashi mumbled, still somewhat folded in on himself.
"They're your friends," Hiro said, picking up his head. "And don't change the subject." He ran his hand through his hair, the baseball cap stopping him from going any further. He took the hat off and held it in his hands.
The cap felt heavier earlier. Now it was just out of place. The bright orange of the 'SFN' sewn into the fabric seemed distorted. A few strings hung loose and the edges were beginning to fray. Maybe he should just frame it and leave it alone. Remember from a distance.
Yet he put it on when he felt like he was achieving everything the old Tadashi wanted for him. That was what he was supposed to do. His moral compass wasn't working anymore.
"What... what was that, anyway?" he asked quietly. "How are you..."
He couldn't say it: How are you alive? How are you still here? How can you just sit there without saying anything?
Hiro finally turned to face him. Tadashi looked terrible. Dark circles lined his eyes, and the foam smeared across his face was beginning to crack. He looked older. Different.
"How are you, you know?"
Tadashi glanced his way. The baby brother that he held fragmented memories of didn't look the same at all. Sure, the messy hair and loosened jacket were still there. Yet terrified eyes stared back. Every gear was shifting inside Hiro's mind like he was some science project hitting a roadblock. He lost his bravado for one thing: when he was looking for a solution and couldn't find one.
Tadashi turned towards the cabinets Hiro was staring at a few seconds ago. White splatter marks caking against the outer frame were easier to understand than figuring out whatever this was.
Not that it was a problem. Not that his old friends confronting Hiro were a problem. Or the fact that here he was, slouching in a bathtub covered in drying extinguisher foam. The stress, the portal, the everything, it wasn't the main issue eating at him.
Tadashi couldn't explain it away anymore. There wasn't a better angle he could offer; everything was overly complicated.
And maybe Tadashi didn't have to explain it. There was still a chance they could pretend everything was normal. Like their lives worked out inexplicably. As if there were no bumps or bruises to it all.
But where would that take him 5 years from now? How about 50? And what about Hiro? There couldn't be that many bad ideas, right?
Telling them. Explaining to them. Why did it have to be so blunt? Tadashi sighed as he sank further into the bathtub.
"So?" Hiro asked, gripping onto the baseball cap for dear life.
"Yeah," he grumbled, "Aunt Cass is definitely going to wanna know why we used the extinguisher."
"Which is because?" Tadashi rolled his eyes and gave Hiro a look. He really wanted a clearly stated verbal expression.
"Pyrokinesis," he said flatly. He watched as Hiro leaned back, twisting his face in confusion.
"W-wait. Hold on, wait." The hat slowly fell onto the bathroom tile as he connected the dots. "So, like... literally? Like the Human Torch kind of pyrokinesis?" Tadashi didn't answer. Of course, he would reference something from Fred's comic books. He sank his head back into his hands.
"Look," Hiro said, "I don't mean to be rude. And, I know this is hard. But, we can't fix anything if you don't tell me what's going on. You have to trust us, with the truth. Or, at least some of it." Tadashi sighed as he ran through his options one more time.
"Yeah," he managed. "Like the Human Torch. But less cool." Hiro nodded along.
Okay.
Okay.
That... didn't make sense.
Pyrokinesis wasn't real. Or maybe it could be. A mutation. A medical anomaly. Combustion.
It wasn't the strangest thing he'd heard. He fought mutants and even rogue CEO projects before. Still, the facts weren't clicking. Tadashi never cared for high stakes. Plus, his brother wasn't supposed to be something he had to fight. Hiro rubbed the tiredness from his eyes as he put the hat on top of the counter.
"So, can you, like, control it?" he asked.
"Kind of? Yes and no? Mostly no." Tadashi cleared his throat, "It's, um, the main reason why I didn't come back."
"You were…?"
"Well, to be honest, afraid of setting the house on fire," he laughed humorlessly. "I guess it kind of came with the whole surviving deal. So far, so good."
Hiro let his legs slide back across the floor as his hands found their way back into his jacket pockets.
"Sounds like an awful deal." Tadashi let out a weak laugh.
"The worst."
At least, that explained some of the things that occurred in the last two days. Progress. Hiro was flipping the facts through his mind, unaware his brother was watching him digest the information piece by piece. The fabric within his jacket pockets bunched up in fistfuls.
"And you were planning to tell Aunt Cass and me-"
"At the same time," Tadashi finished. "Figured it'd be easier."
"Well," he sighed, "sooner would have made it easier." Tadashi frowned.
"Shut up. I was trying to make it make sense."
He wiped more of the extinguisher foam off. "Hey, um, can you help me out?" Hiro offered his arm.
"Sure, but-!" Tadashi pulled him over the edge, forcing Hiro to fall halfway into the foam. "Quit it!" he yelled. His jacket was being ruined as Tadashi rubbed foam into his hair. "Hey! Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop!" Hiro coughed as his brother let him loose. The fumes from the extinguisher made his eyes burn.
"That's for using the extinguisher on me." Hiro made a noise of disgust.
"Wasn't my fault!" Tadashi swayed his way out of the tub.
"Sure it wasn't." He leaned against the walls of the bathroom and headed towards the attic with Baymax. "Whatever makes you feel better," he yelled back from the stairwell.
Ugh, he was so frustrating. So stupid. So... normal. He was the same person Hiro hadn't seen around in a long time. The similarities and changes weren't adding up.
Hiro picked the baseball cap off of the counter and dusted it off. That was the last thing he wanted to screw up, ruining the ripped hat his brother left behind.
Despite the smirk on Tadashi's face as he walked upstairs, he could feel the remnant of his aches. He was still holding in an outburst. 8 days was far too long. But, Aunt Cass would be home this time. No distractions could interrupt them. The hard part was halfway over. He could wait a little bit longer.
The back door unlocked as Cass dragged in an armful of groceries not too soon afterward.
"Hiro! I'm back!" she called. "Sorry, it took forever. I still need to unload more boxes from the bed of the truck." She set her things down, mentally made a note to grab the rest after checking up on both boys.
Both boys. That was something she never imagined saying again. Cass made her way towards the stairwell, the cafe strangely quiet and dark. She flicked on the first-floor lights. Immediately, the crooked photos and sticky texture along the handrail stood out like warning signs.
"Hiro?" she called. "Tadashi, honey? You still home?"
She made her way up the stairs. Dang it. She shouldn't have left for groceries and food in the morning. Why'd she even consider leaving the house? She was supposed to be their guardian. So naive of her to- Cass stopped as she watched a disheveled Hiro walk towards her, foam in his hair and carrying a box of his brother's old clothes.
"Hey, Aunt Cass," he greeted, nonchalantly.
She choked out a forced laugh, "You scared me there for a second. I thought you weren't home. Is-" She was about to ask Hiro what happened before hearing someone make their way down from the attic.
Tadashi came down the stairs caked in a lather, leaving behind a new trail of foam across the floor. Cass looked him up and down, speechless.
"I'll clean it up," he said shyly as he made his way back into the bathroom. She nodded as she watched the two operate as if this was normal. Baymax placed himself in front of the TV, paying no mind to them.
"Baymax?" She asked. "What… what happened?" He was about to answer before Hiro butted in.
"Tadashi wants to explain." She snapped her head in Tadashi's direction. Her oldest nephew looked tired. None of the Hamadas properly slept the night before. The exhaustion was tangible throughout the house. Explaining was not on their schedule so late in the day.
"Questions now or tomorrow?" Cass asked him from the edge of the landing.
"Tomorrow, please," Tadashi yelled back as he stepped into the bathroom as he set to wipe down everything and take a proper shower. That was enough chaos for today. Besides, he overheard Hiro talk downstairs. He had a week to settle in and think things over. Or else, face his untimely reveal too soon.
Cass heard the showerhead flick on as she faced Hiro.
"Do you know what's going on?"
"Sort of? Um, it's a lot."
"How much is a lot?" Hiro's shy smile didn't comfort her. Cass shook her head, trying to piece together what little information she had. "Let's just talk about it somewhat over dinner, okay? The longer we wait, the harder it's going to be."
"Never would've guessed." That earned a frown from her.
As they waited for Tadashi to come out, Cass brought the remainder of the groceries in. Hiro joined her as they awkwardly nodded and reassured each other nonverbally. They still had time to lose. Much of which was spent lost in thought.
Maybe 'a lot' meant Tadashi still had issues to work through, issues since the accident. Surely, not everything was fine. There were still questions as to where he spent his nights or the days he must've been roaming the city without any idea of what home was. But if he did remember, the thought made Cass uneasy. What was so influential that it would make her nephew stay away for so long? He remembered his family somewhat. Sure, not everything was there but enough that he knew names and could recall the basics. He could manage.
The ding from the oven made Cass jump. The cherry tarts Tadashi placed in the oven earlier had enough time to overcook. Somehow, it was a reminder that they only had a few days to mend things together. A few days wasn't enough to return things like they used to be.
Hiro pulled the tarts out with the oven-mitt, the edges of the dough clearly charred. There wasn't much he could do about it aside from putting them on a plate and serving them to Cass and Mochi. Neither of their appetites agreed to resurface.
It was better things played out this way, Hiro mulled over. Maybe. Possibly. And possibly not.
What was all of this for, anyway? It was like some weird punishment fate dealt them. Their family fractured into pieces and there wasn't much to be done about it. They didn't do anything wrong, per se.
Hiro bit into one of the cherry tarts, overriding his train of thought. No use rehashing the same problem. Their snacks could use more sugar frosting too.
All that mattered was that Hiro was going to find a way to reconnect with Tadashi. It was a number one priority. Above Krei, above keeping up appearances with his friends, and even above university. He couldn't lose his brother again. A second or a third time would wreck him. No, he'd come up with a foolproof plan. Something that would ensure the future would be promising and not serve as a reminder. Hiro was going to find a way to keep him in his life and healthy.
He swallowed a bite of the tart, the bread stiff and tasteless. Ugh, pyrokinesis on its own was something to grasp. Yet his brother having pyrokinesis, that would take some time and effort to get used to.
Tadashi came out of the cleaned shower after several minutes of tense restocking. The bags under his eyes faded somewhat. They still hung heavily on his face as he made his way downstairs in fresh clothes, ones he didn't remember owning.
Tadashi pulled up a chair to the cafe bar and took a burnt pastry with no frosting. Worry etched onto his face.
"Aunt Cass, I need to tell you something," Tadashi said. "You're not gonna like it." She blinked.
"Um, okay. I thought tomorrow was gonna be-" Tadashi waved his hand.
"That's too late. I need to tell you the reason I didn't come back." Hiro glared at him.
"Right now? We're doing this now?" Cass asked as she rushed closer. Hiro watched his brother hold his side as if it was cramping. His side stitch from earlier that morning flashed in his mind. His pyrokinesis was still acting up. He was going to combust again.
"Get Baymax," Hiro said under his breath. No one heard him.
"I'm here," she said. "I'm listening." Cass held her oldest nephew's hand. Tadashi opened his mouth to speak, but the words refused to come out. The stress he built over the past two days froze him in place.
Tadashi gritted his teeth as he gradually sank to the floor.
"Baymax!" Hiro yelled.
Cass whipped around as she made her way around the counter. "Honey, what's wrong? What's happening? Hold on, okay?" Hiro already jumped up the stairs. There was a good chance Baymax couldn't help out on this one. Still, it was the only thing they had.
Tadashi pushed himself away from Cass and the bar and moved to the middle of the cafe. He kicked chairs away as she went to reach for him.
"Stay away," was all he could force out before feeling the pressure around his side stitch lighten up. His eyes began to glow orange and she noticed. His insides felt as if they were turning hollow.
"Sweetie, what's wrong?!"
Before he could answer, flames engulfed his entire person. Cass screamed and reeled back. She was about to reach for him again as Hiro pulled her away by the wrist.
She turned to him, betrayed, as she tried to yank her arm from him.
"He has pyrokinesis, Cass!" She broke free and ran for the extinguisher. The rack on the wall was now empty. "Baymax!" she yelled. "Put him out!" She went for the sink as Hiro vied for her attention.
"It's kinesis!" Hiro yelled.
"What is that?!" Cass asked with new tears streaming down her face. Her nephew was on fire, and she wasn't helping. Even worse, Hiro was unintentionally distracting her from it.
Hiro glanced at Tadashi, who rolled over and was lying flat on the ground expressionless, hands covering his face again. He wasn't screaming, and he wasn't terrified. This was normal for him.
The last thing Hiro wanted was to make Tadashi scream too.
Still, Baymax held his hands out as a duct formed.
"Please stand by," he said before dozing Tadashi in water. Tadashi hollered once the cold water hit. Putting his flames out probably wasn't the smartest go-to choice healthwise.
Cass didn't know that yet. She'd filled a pitcher full of tap water and rushed to dump it over her nephew. He gasped as the water drenched him from both Baymax and his aunt. He put his hands up, trying to block the liquid from spraying into his face.
"Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop!" Tadashi coughed out. The flames slowly died down as he willed them away. Baymax halted in place as he lowered the water duct down. Tadashi yelped as Cass ran up to him. No burn marks or scars were visible. Only the old ones he wore for the past couple of years.
Cass was sobbing as she gripped the sides of his face.
"I'm okay!" Tadashi repeated. "I'm okay!"
"B-But you? And then you?! What's all this…?" Cass held onto him as Hiro wrapped his arms around both of them. Tadashi was still sitting on the floor, drenched, and halfway propped up by Cass' metal grip. Confused, inhuman noises escaped her as she held him by the shoulders.
Baymax shrouded them in a hug as he began to glow red.
"A decrease in body temperature can lead to temporary illness." They all stayed on the floor as the sogginess faded. Cass sat up and looked Tadashi in the eyes. More unintelligible noises came out of her as tears continued to flow.
"Is this why?" she asked after Baymax finished his treatment. Tadashi nodded solemnly. Hiro jumped in as the questions mounted in his aunt's mind.
"He's okay," Hiro said. "He has pyrokinesis. Fire can't hurt him." Cass cradled both of their heads as Tadashi bent down to meet her height.
"So wait. Wait. What? What even is that? How? No, that's not-" She huffed. They were still in the middle of the cafe. The kitchen tile was now colored black. "Okay. Okay, what do we need to do? What will make this, you, feel better? Can you control it?!" She accidentally raised her voice as she mentally answered her own question. Of course, he couldn't. "How do we prevent you from, you know?!" She gestured towards his entire person before covering her mouth.
"Uh," Tadashi said, "I just let it happen?" Cass glared. That was the wrong answer. "I mean, I try to do it whenever it's safest. This is the longest I've gone without doing, uh, that."
"And how long is long?" Cass asked.
"8 days." A lightbulb flicked on in Hiro's mind.
"Your stupid walk," he said. "Wait here."
Hiro grabbed the truck keys and threw them at his brother. "He needs a place to vent." Cass looked between the two of them as realization dawned on Tadashi's face. "We need to take him somewhere open," Hiro said. "Somewhere away from here."
"I, I think I know where," Tadashi said. Cass looked between the two of them as she let out one more confused sob.
Notes:
I love this family.
Aunt Cass is trying so HARD, you guys. Somebody help her. Plus, the boys are finally talking! (For now.) Right now, I have it that we're heading back to the warehouses and the shipyard to get Tadashi some more background info. But we'll see what Next-Update Me has to say about that.
Anybody thinking about how difficult it must be to be Cass, to see your family member burst into flames after facing a tragedy, and not being able to really do anything but watch? Like, I was re-reading this and just got to thinking... this chapter has some dark undertones. Huh. I... why? How did I get here? (It's about 'CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT,' according to my notes.)
And, I realized I kind of left you guys on a cliffhanger of sorts. One thousand years of Ao3 jail for me. Le gasp! Also, I feel like I repeat certain words? But whatever. Our boy is on fire. We have bigger problems.
Working on not rushing through chapters, keeping the pace, remembering what I even wrote... it's a work-in-progress. Critique me, if you please. Or let me know what stood out to you. IDK.
Anyway, gonna go cry once 'Ciao Alberto' comes out. My disgusting, trouble-making son deserves all of the love and found-family tropes. As always, thank y'all, truly. :)