Incoming Transmission from Advent Command:

"Greetings Commander Tessali, we are contacting you to inform you that your request for a personal secretary to help you organize and keep track of affairs about your base has been approved and your assistant is headed towards you as we speak. We hope he works for your needs given he was one of the most competent workers we could afford to give."

End transmission.

(Tim's PoV)

I'll never forget those wonderful words I heard as I sat at my desk in one of the large communications centers Advent had set up. Before I get ahead of myself allow me to tell you about myself. My name is Timmothy Ignasio Poinsett or "Tim" for short. I was... well... pretty below average all things considered. I was tall and gaunt which had earned me the nickname "Scarecrow" as a kid, as well as my wild dirty blonde hair. I swear, no matter what I tried I always looked like I'd been struck by lightning. As far as my face goes, well... it was like the rest of me. Long and thin. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I'm like 6' 7" with visible ribs, just that I was taller than some and a lot thinner than some. Whatever, I'm getting sidetracked. My day was going like usual.

"Hello, this is the Advent urgent needs line! Please tell me what I can do to help, because Advent cares."

And then listen to someone blabbering on for a while about how their TV isn't working before I told them this was for EMERGENCIES! Then they'd get all huffy and hang up. Yeah, I had a fun job. But, it all changed when I received an email on my computer.

{Employee number -167- please report to the transport bay. You have been promoted to the personal secretary of -Commander Tassali- and will be moving to -Base #47- immediately. Thank you, and good luck.}

I sat back in my swivel chair. I was getting a promotion. An actual promotion! And I was moving too! How awesome could this get! I quickly grabbed my few desktop decorations and made my way towards the elevator. I had memorized the protocol for this promotion and the subsequent move. You dropped what you owned at work off, cleaned out your apartment, and then flew off to wherever you were going. I'd put my name in for consideration the moment an opportunity for a better job in a different local was offered.

A few hours later and I had already traveled two-thirds of the distance to my new home/workplace. Who was this Commander Tassali? My guess was one of the humans in charge of the Advent Peacekeepers. Although, apparently this base was situated near the Appalachian Mountains so... honestly, it didn't matter what they did so long as they signed my paycheck. I looked at my packet one last time before leaning back and closing my eyes. Hopefully this was the start of something awesome.

(Tassali)

"What iss thiss!"

Tassali let her breath escape in a drawn out hiss as she read that rather than grant her any of the other requests, like a new post, she'd only been granted a personal assistant.

I had asked for one to help me if they did decide to grant me a more deserving post! How am I supposed to climb the ranks of the regime if I'm stuck in this "surveillance base"! As if we did any surveillance. Nothing ever happens here.

She sighed and took a calming breath. She began to slither towards the landing pad in preparation for meeting her new assistant.

Hopefully they'll assign me a fellow viper. I don't know how much longer I can stand these dull Advent Peacekeeper units.

She folded her clawed hands in her lap and coiled her serpentine tail slightly as she sat in one of the few chairs around the landing pad. Soon the sounds of the approaching transport filled the air with a dark smudge approaching over the horizon. She waited expectantly as the transport landed and the door opened. But, to her horror, out stepped a... a...

"Human!?"

(Tim's PoV)

I stepped out of the transport and right in front of me was... woah. Sitting there staring at me was a viper. You know, one of those really tall snake ladies. Yeah, so... who... was she? No, this wasn't...

She straightened her posture before slithering over to me. She barely even looked me in the eye before saying in a strained voice,

"I am Commander Tassali. Are you... my new..."

She paused and closed her eyes.

"Assistant?"

"Yeah, my name's Timmothy."

I held out a hand which she didn't shake. She took a deep breath before slithering away.

"Feel free to settle into your quarters. I'll... you'll begin work tomorrow."

And with that she was gone. Sheesh, was it really so busy around here that she didn't have time to talk or did she just not like me? Whatever, with the extra cash I'll make from this I can retire early! Worth it!

I followed the map included in my packet until I reached my new home. Upon opening the door I was greeted with a very spartan room with a basic bed and nightstand. A door led to the bathroom where a sink, toilet, and shower were located. I plopped my suitcase down and began planning where I'd put everything.

"Alright... I can make this work."

(Tassali)

"I can not believe they ssssent me a... a... filthy human!"

She slammed her fist against the countertop of her bathroom as she stared into her own red eyes. She hissed again, her forked tongue flickering out of her mouth.

"Thisss 'Personal Assistant' issss a bigger insssult than thisss possst!"

She realized she was hissing again and took several calming breaths.

"If they think It's funny to send me one of those... those... apes, then I'll make it funny!"

She grinned a devilish grin as an idea hatched in her brain.

"I can make this work. Rather than an 'assistant', Command has sent me the greatest gift they possibly could."

She hissed in laughter.

"I can finally treat one of those inferiors their place in the world! I'll make his life so miserable working under me that he'll snap! He'll be begging to go back! It's going to be... hilarious!"

She laughed to herself as she prepared to go to bed. Tomorrow, tomorrow was going to be interesting.