Chapter 1: A new start
Trigger warning: This story contains scenes of domestic violence and sexual abuse (nothing too graphic, but still could be touchy for some people.)
This story is dedicated to my dear friend C., who is still struggling with her own Alex.
Thank you for reading, and I'll be pleased to read your reviews!
On a light but chilly morning, John Bates was seated on a bus, on his way to Downton's Recovery and Rehabilitation Center, in York's far suburbs. Looking out the bus window, earphones plugged in his ears, he was thinking over this new nurse job that his old Army commander and friend Robert Crawley had offered him.
John Bates had had several bad years after coming back wounded from Irak, where he had served as an army Nurse. A bullet had left his left knee in a mess that resulted in him keeping a permanent limp, and PTSD had caused him great difficulties to adjust back to civilian life. It had brought his marriage to a breaking point. Not that his union to Vera had ever been a very happy one, but his mental troubles had lead him into alcohol and drug use, in which she had followed him. Two years in prison had helped him, the hard way, to quit and become abstinent, but she had kept on their habits during his time away. So when he had been released, after an almighty row between the two of them, he had decided to leave their home and restart a life alone, in order not to fall back into his old ways. Lonely in his small flat, and unemployed, he had called out to his ex-army superior Dr Robert Crawley, who had quit the Army Medical Service and now run Downton's Recovery and Rehabilitation Center, a special facility that offered post-hospital care for people who had been severely wounded or impaired, mainly from car crashes or other various accidents. Dr Crawley had been delighted to hear from him, and offered him a nurse position.
This job was his chance for a fresh start. A new, clean life. From now on, John Bates was determined to help alleviate other people's misery, rather than dwell on his own. His days of self-pity were over. So this job had to work out.
Seeing that the bus was hitting the last stop before Downton, he put his earphones away in his bag, collected his crutch, and started making his way to the door, carefully holding himself to the seats.
When he was safely off the bus, he looked around, and set his eyes on the large ex-Edwardian manor turned modern health facility. The place was certainly imposing, almost intimidating. He took a deep breath, and started limping his way towards the entrance. He was supposed to be meeting a Mrs Hughes, Head Nurse, then a Mr Carson, the human resources manager.
When he entered the hallway, he found himself face to face with two women, who seemed to be finishing their morning round. The oldest one, with dark hair and a harsh looking face, was watching him with an inquisitive look. Answering her untold question, he introduced himself:
- Hello, I'm John Bates, the new nurse.
- The new nurse, she answered with a sneer, looking at him from the top down, her eyes lingering on the crutch.
- Yes. I am scheduled to meet the Head Nurse here, I'm starting tomorrow.
The second woman held out her hand and said in a welcoming tone:
- I'm Anna Smith, nursing assistant.
He took her hand and shook it.
- How do you do.
This girl was younger than the other, in her mid-twenties, and seemed much more friendly. She was petite, had bright blond hair, tied back into a pony tail, and light blue eyes whose look warmed his heart for an unknown reason. He couldn't help but notice that the skin of her hand was very soft. But before he could dwell on that, the first woman spoke again:
- And I'm Nurse O'Brien. You'd better come along with us, Mrs Hughes's office is over there.
Nurse O'Brien turned away and started to walk towards the nurse's office. As she moved to follow her, Anna, biting her upper lip, shot him a quick glance and a bittersweet smile. John Bates returned her smile and made his way after her.
Following Nurse O'Brien's directions, he introduced himself into Mrs Hughes's office. She was a middle-aged woman, with a somewhat stern face, but warm eyes, and a strong Scottish accent. She eyed him from head to toes, as had O'Brien, except without the sneer, but with a genuinely concerned look instead.
- But how can you manage? she asked.
- I can manage, he answered in what he hoped to be a confident tone.
- Really? A nurse with a crutch?
- Well, Kerry Weaver and Dr House managed, didn't they? he replied with a gleam in his eye. So I don't see why I shouldn't.
-If you say so. Anyway, we'll find out soon enough, she concluded flatly. Alright, I'm going to show you around the place, brief you on how it runs, and then you'll go and meet Mr Carson to complete the paperwork.
After giving him an extended tour of the facility, Mrs Hughes lead John Bates back to the nurse's office, where the staff were holding their weekly meeting to discuss the status and progress of every patient.
- Hello everyone, I'm so sorry to interrupt your meeting, she said to the assembly. I just wanted to introduce our new nurse: this is John Bates. He will be doubling with nurses O'Brien and Jenkins for the end of the week, and starting on his own as of next week.
She then started introducing each member of the staff to John.
- I think you already met Nurse O'Brien and Anna Smith.
O'Brien looked at him like he was some kind of snail, while Anna flashed him a discreet smile.
- Here is our unit doctor, Dr Mary Crawley, this is Nurse Jenkins, this is Sybil Crawley, our occupational therapist, Gwen Dawson here is another nursing assistant, and Thomas Barrow is one of our physiotherapists.
Each one nodded to him when his or her name was called, and he politely nodded back.
- I hope everyone will be kind and welcoming to Nurse Bates, added Mrs Hughes with a pointed look to O'Brien, and help him settle rapidly on his first days. You'll get to know the rest of the staff as you get on.
- Thank you Mrs Hughes. I'm sure everything will be alright.
- Well, we'll leave you to your meeting now. Nurse Bates, I will show you to Mr Carson's office.
- Very well, Mrs Hughes. Thank you. Good day to you all, he said to the working team.
Before he got out of the room, he turned back to cast a quick glance and noticed that Anna Smith's eyes were still fixed on him. When his look crossed hers, she quickly averted her gaze. He thought her cheeks were slightly flushed, though he couldn't think why. He turned to follow Mrs Hughes who was waiting for him in the hallway.
The following days proved to be quite trying for John Bates. He was having a hard time memorizing all the new information he had to take in, in order to manage on his own the following week. Besides, each day meant a few kilometers up and down the hallways, which earned him a burning ache in his wounded knee every night. But he was set on not letting it spoil his chance. Nurse Jenkins and the nursing assistants were quite helpful, but Nurse O'Brien obviously disliked him from the start and didn't bother to hide it. So the rounds he had to take in her company were quite unpleasant. But then she didn't seem to be much friendly to anyone else either…
On his third day, he was about to take his lunch break. The weather being fine, he decided to take his sandwich outside in the park. As he looked around for a place to sit, he noticed the small blond woman seated on a bench, eating alone from her lunch box. He recognized Anna, the nursing assistant who had smiled to him on his first day. He hadn't seen her since, as she had been off the two previous days. He came near her bench, and asked politely:
- Hello, do you mind if I sit with you?
Anna startled a bit, as if she had not heard him coming. For a split second she looked frightened, then collected herself and managed to smile to him.
- Yes, please do, if you wish.
They ate in silence for a few minutes, then Anna started the conversation.
- So, how are you settling in?
- Hmm, not so bad I think. I'm starting to get what I'm supposed to do when I'm supposed to do it, so I guess it's a good start. Although I think I'm not doing a good job of convincing Nurse O'Brien of my abilities.
- Oh her… Don't mind her. She's sour as a bitter lemon. She doesn't like anyone.
- It's nice to know that it isn't just me then. What about you? How long have you been working here?
- Me? Four years.
- Do you like it here, as a nursing assistant?
- Yes, quite. But at the moment, I am taking distance courses to qualify as a nurse.
- Oh, that's great! It must be hard to manage the job and the courses on top of it.
- It is, quite... Working on my own is difficult. It's quite trying.
- Well, if you ever need a hand with some course, or someone to test you, just ask. I'd be happy to help.
- That's nice of you, but I won't bother you with it. You must have so much better to do.
- I really have not.
- No wife or family to go back to? she boldly asked.
- I do have a wife, but hopefully she'll soon be my ex-wife.
- Oh, I'm sorry, said Anna.
- No, don't worry. Vera and I have been off for a very long time. So I live alone in a small one-bedroom flat and I have nothing to do of my evenings.
- So, said Anna, changing the subject, I heard it was Dr Crawley father who gave you this job? How did you know him?
- We served together in Irak.
- Oh… you're an army veteran?
- I am.
- This is how you got your knee injury?
- Yes it is.
He didn't want to dwell on his past with this young woman, so he changed the subject again.
- So this place is quite a family business isn't it? Run by the father, one daughter working as a doctor, another as an occupational therapist. Are there any other family members involved?
- Apart from Mary and Sybil? Well Dr Crawley's wife, Cora, she's in charge of fundraising. But I think that's it.
- What about his third daughter? I do think I remember him telling me about three girls…
- Oh yes, that would be Edith. She's the second actually, Sybil is the youngest. Edith doesn't work here, she's a journalist.
- Oh, right.
Anna checked her watch and exclaimed:
- Oh my, we'd better be getting back, otherwise we won't hear the end of it by Nurse O'Brien.
- You're right, said John getting up. I'm sorry to have kept you so long with my curiosity.
- Oh don't apologize. It was nice chatting.
- But I'm serious with my offer to help with the nursing courses.
- Thank you. I'll keep it in mind.
She left with a warm smile. He might have issues with Nurse O'Brien, but this young woman was charming and kind. He wondered if she herself was married. He had noticed that she was wearing no ring, but he couldn't jump to any conclusion from that, since people in healthcare weren't supposed to wear jewels on their shifts. What he had also noticed though, was a red bruise just above her left wrist. He wondered how she could have got it. Anyway, married or not, she was definitely too young and too good for him, he thought.
Later that evening, Anna Smith, having finished her shift and collected her groceries on the way home, was walking up the stairs of her apartment building. She stopped for a few minutes on the floor landing, putting her heavy load on the floor to catch her breath.
She put her key in the lock and entered her apartment. The sound of the television informed her that her boyfriend, Alex Green, was already home. She headed straight to the kitchen and started putting the groceries away.
Hearing her ramble in the kitchen, Alex shouted from the living-room:
- Hey Anna, hon', would you bring me a beer?
She suddenly froze, as if she had received a bucket of cold water down her back. They were out of beer, and she had forgotten to buy some. As she didn't answer to his request right away, Alex soon appeared in the kitchen door frame.
- Didn't you hear me Anna?
Still bent upon the fridge, putting stuff in it, she answered in a fearful tone:
- I'm sorry Alex, I forgot to get some. There's no more left.
- Oh crap.
He came to her, seized her ponytail in his fist and pulled hard on it so that she was forced to look up to him. He shouted a few inches from her face:
- Are you really so stupid that you can't even get a grocery list right?
- I said I'm sorry Alex, she pleaded. I'll get some tomorrow.
- Yeah right, you're sorry. You're always sorry but you can't do anything right. You dumb chick.
And he let go of her hair, pushing her head forward so that she went to hit the fridge's door with her cheek. He then left the kitchen grumbling and returned to sit on the couch.
She rubbed her hand on her cheek, and quickly wiped the tears off her eyes. She hoped the bruise wouldn't show too much on her face. Until now she had managed to hide any suspicious marks from everyone at work, but if he started to hit her on the face, it would be harder.
She finished putting the groceries away, and set to cook dinner. Reminiscences of her talk with John during lunch break came to her mind while she was busy. The man seemed gentle and kind. She thought about his offer to help her with her nursing courses. She could really use the help and support, because her exams were coming near and she felt overwhelmed by the amount of work she still had to go through. She wanted to accept his offer, but if ever Alex found out that she was spending time alone with a man, God she would never hear the end of it… Yet something deep inside her was drawn to John, wanted to get to know him better, yearned to spend time alone with him. She found that very odd, since she barely knew the man. She had just chatted with him for ten minutes at lunch break. What was that about?
About ten days later, Anna was leaving Downton at the end of her shift. As she came near the bus stop, she saw that John Bates was already sitting there, waiting for his own bus, earphones plugged in his ears. She came to sit near him on the bench, with a friendly smile. He acknowledged her presence with a nod and a tiny smile.
- You had a good day? he asked.
- Yeah, pretty good. I went in physiotherapy with young David, and he managed to stand and walk four steps! He was so excited, it was really cute. Thomas is really good with the young people. He always knows how to cheer them up, enhance their motivation.
She turned to him, picked up the earphone he had just pulled out of his ear to talk to her, and put it to her own ear:
- What are you listening to?
After listening for a few seconds, she looked at him, bemused:
- Adele? Really? I wouldn't have thought this was your kind of thing…
John's cheeks flushed a little, and he shot her an apologetic smile:
- Well then, you'll learn that one of my weirdnesses is that I've got a strange fancy for cheesy love songs.
And he showed her on his phone the Spotify playlist he was currently listening to, titled "A hundred Love Songs". She chuckled at the idea of this tall broad rough man listening to love songs.
- I guess you'll find me ridiculous, he said flatly.
- Oh no, no, she answered quickly. I find it makes you look like a big fluffy Teddy Bear. And who doesn't like a big fluffy Teddy Bear? They're so comfy… she grinned with a side look to him.
He laughed at that, but his cheeks seemed a little bit more flushed still. She took a deep breath and asked bluntly:
- So, is your offer still on to help me with my nursing courses? Cause I seem to be getting nowhere lately. I could really use a hand.
He straightened his face right away and answered in a concerned tone:
- Well, we can't have that. Of course I'll help. When and where do you want to meet?
Anna's heart started beating faster, as she felt she was getting into some dangerous territory, but something in her felt that she had to, that the risk was worth taking.
- Would you give me your phone number? I'll text you.
- Alright.
He scribbled his number on a piece of paper and gave it to her.
- Do you use Whatsapp? he asked.
- Yes I do.
- OK, then send me a message whenever you're decided. I'll be there.
- Thank you, that's so kind of you.
- Nonsense! he said dismissively. Oh, there's my bus. Goodnight Anna.
As she watched his bus take him away, she realized that he had given her his number, but hadn't asked for hers in return, thus leaving her totally in charge of deciding what to do next. It made her feel very safe. She went home that night to her bleak prospects, with a secret little glow deep in her heart. She had met a giant fluffy Teddy Bear who likes cheesy love songs. She was smiling to herself on the bus, humming Adele's song.