Note: I felt bad leaving things so open. Here's a part 2. Hope you like it

"So, you're leaving?"

Alex had been sure the brunette wasn't listening on her phone conversation but she guessed she'd been wrong. She had come to the kitchen while Olivia tented to the baby in the bedroom when her phone rang.

Olivia had the baby in her arms. The little boy was screaming his lungs out, tears flowing down his red face.

"I don't know." She answered honestly, still looking down at the phone

"Alexandra…."

"I'm being honest here, Liv."

Olivia tried rocking Noah but the boy wasn't having any of it. She moved to the fridge to get one of his bottles out.

"Let me do that;" Alex said quietly.

"I don't think I can do this, 'Lex"

Olivia was on the verge of crying. Not very on brand for badass Olivia. Alex thought it might have to do with all the nights she spent awake with Noah, the stress of being suddenly in charge of a whole squad and being in a brand new quite unstable relationship with the blonde.

They had come to an agreement that they would take things slow. Alex wasn't sure she could just up and leave her life and Olivia understood that. She really did. They began with weekends here and there. Dates on free nights. All seemed innocent enough until it wasn't. Without realizing, Alex started spending more and more time in Olivia's apartment.

And then there was Noah. She had gotten attached. She had offered for babysitting duties. Planned outings in central park. Without realizing they had become a family. There hasn't been any big talk, no plans. It just happened. Alex began delegating things more and more. The thought of leaving her outlaw life each day becoming more attractive.

Still, her urge to help those who needed her was there. From time to time there were calls. It was an unspoken agreement that they wouldn't discuss whatever Alex was doing. Olivia, in fact, knew very little. Alex wasn't so hands on anymore but she was still using her influence. It was hard just up and leave everything. Olivia understood. She herself never had the guts to leave SVU, even when Noah came around.

It was a matter of time before she had to choose. They both knew her double life would not work long term. They were living on borrowed time, savoring their company like it could end the next day.

The call she had just received was her wake up call. Life was calling to make her choose. She knew she couldn't do the things she was doing while living with Olivia and Noah. Too dangerous. She also knew how much she loved them. How much her time with them was important for her.

"I know, Liv. It's not fair to you. Not fair to Noah"

She finished the bottle and passed it to Olivia. The brunette started to feed the screaming child.

"Not fair to you either, Alex."

She sighed, leaning on the kitchen counter to watch Olivia still trying to calm the baby down. Noah was still breathing heavily but was calming down now that he had a warm bottle.

"We need to talk about this." She said.

"Just...just tell me you're leaving." Olivia wasn't looking at her anymore. She believed that if she did she would've seen tears in her eyes.

"I haven't decided anything yet, Liv." It was true. She couldn't decide without talking to Olivia. They were sharing a life now.

"No, what I'm saying is - Alex, if you're leaving, please. I need you to tell me. Don't just disappear. Please, I can't take it."

"I wouldn't do that, Liv." She said sincerely. Alex had no plans of doing that ever again.

"They need you, don't they?"

"They always do. There are always people in need."

"More than us."

It wasn't a question. They both knew it was true. Just like Olivia when she spends overtime in the 1-6 instead of home with Noah. Nights awake in the hospital with victims instead of date nights with Alex. There were always people needing them.

"I suppose."

"It was good while it lasted, 'Lex."

"So you're going to choose for me?"

"I think you've already made your choice, Alex" Olivia finally looked up from the now calm baby to look at Alex. She could still see the tears that had fallen.

"I never wanted to hurt you, Liv."

"I know", she smiled, "I do. In a way, since that day you came in through that door I knew it wouldn't last. At least, not now."

"We tried." Alex said.

"We did."

Alex had taken the lead in starting the whole thing. It was only fair that Olivia decided when it ended.

"I don't think this is the end though."

"Alex…"

"Retirement house, Liv. We could still do it there."

Olivia laughed quietly. Noah had just fallen back to sleep.

"Right."

Alex's phone started vibrating again. She looked at Olivia and opened her mouth to apologize but was cut before she could say something.

"Go Alex. They need you."

"Ok. I'll be back. We'll say proper goodbyes this time."

"Proper see you later, 'Lex."

"Yes, Liv."

They moved to the living room where Alex started gathering some stuff so she could leave. Olivia sat down on the couch with Noah.

"Maybe sooner than that." Olivia said, looking out of the window.

"What?" Alex asked. She was busy trying to find her phone charger. What was Olivia talking about?

"Sooner than a retirement house. Our time together."

She turned her head to look at Alex. She wasn't crying anymore.

"I can work with that." Alex agreed, "I'll be back tomorrow night. Promise."

"Ok. Be careful. I love you."

"I love you too."

She finally had everything she needed. Walking to the couch, she bent over to kiss the brunette like she's done so many times before. Like they hadn't just agreed to be apart again. She kissed Noah, who was sleeping peacefully in his mother's arms.

"I'll see you guys tomorrow."

"We'll be here."

Closing the door behind her, Alex felt her chest fill with something she couldn't quite describe. Her phone vibrated again, now with a text. She needed to rush. It wasn't the right time for them, she thought while going down the elevator. It wasn't the right time but the time would come. Sooner or later.