16. as long as I'm alive
Despite everything, the physical and emotional toll of the previous few days crashing in did result in He Qi giving in to a nap soon after her conversation with Qing Er ended. When she woke, it was the middle of the afternoon and Qing Er was walking restlessly about the room.
"What's wrong?" He Qi asked, sitting up.
Qing Er turned around. "You're awake!" She approached the bed and sat down on the edge of it. "Lao Fo Ye is still at Yang Xin Dian and has not come back. I have a feeling something happened, and right now it can't be anything good."
He Qi hastily climbed out of bed. "I'm going to see what's going on."
"No, I already went while you were asleep," Qing Er said, placing a hand on He Qi's arm to stop her rushing towards the door. "Neither Lao Fo Ye nor Huang Shang would let me in and sent me back instead. I don't think you're going to have much better luck."
At that moment, the door opened, making both He Qi and Qing Er turn towards it. Qing Er's maid, Cui Mei, came into the room.
"Ge Ge, Lao Fo Ye has just returned."
"Let's go see what's going on," He Qi said, standing up. This time, Qing Er did not stop her
Whatever He Qi could have imagined to be the reason that kept Lao Fo Ye at Yang Xin Dian for so long, she probably could not have imagined this. Somehow, Huang Hou has managed to find Zi Wei's great aunt and uncle, and a woman who claimed to be the midwife at Zi Wei's birth, who had all told a story of how Zi Wei was born in mid-winter and not in the summer, and therefore could not be the emperor's child.
"What nonsense!" He Qi said. "Surely Huang Ah Ma does not believe this!"
Even as she said it, she was doubting her words. Any other day, she didn't think her father would believe such a baseless accusation. In his current emotional state, she could not help but be scared for Zi Wei.
"Is it nonsense?" Lao Fo Ye asked, all but confirming He Qi's fears.
She had joined her grandmother in a warm sitting room towards the back of Ci Ning Gong, and now the two of them were sitting on either side of a low table on the kang, with Qing Er standing next to the empress dowager, massaging her shoulders.
"What evidence is there for anything they say?" He Qi asked, shifting restlessly.
Lao Fo Ye merely picked up her tea cup and took a sip, before looking pointedly at He Qi over the rim of the cup. "There has never been any evidence that Zi Wei is Huang Di's daughter either."
He Qi had to fight to hold back a frustrated sigh. As with much calm as she could muster, she said, "Lao Fo Ye, you are so wise. Surely you cannot believe this information came out now merely on a coincidence. Huang Hou Niang Niang has had months to look into Zi Wei's background and discover this, but she did not find this information earlier, or later, but right now, when Huang Ah Ma is in such an emotionally-compromised state. I make no excuse for the hurt we have caused Huang Ah Ma, but Lao Fo Ye, surely you have to see that the timing of all of this is suspicious and is designed to play on Huang Ah Ma's emotions when he is already vulnerable?"
"Why would Huang Hou wish to do that?"
"Huang Hou has disliked Zi Wei from the beginning and would do anything to remove her!" He Qi exclaimed. Then, taking in Lao Fo Ye's displeased expression, He Qi forced herself to say in a calmer tone, "The relationship between Huang Ah Ma and Zi Wei's mother pains her, that much I understand, but Lao Fo Ye, Zi Wei is innocent in all of this. She should not suffer for Huang Ah Ma's mistakes!"
"You question Huang Hou's motives, but you are not unbiased either, He Qi!" Lao Fo Ye replied, putting her tea cup down with a decidedly disapproving clink. "You have far too much trust in Zi Wei when there has only ever been the slightest of proofs of her identity."
"I trust Zi Wei because during all the time I have spent with her, she has never given me reason to not trust her, or to doubt her good heart. Huang Hou had her tortured and nearly killed twice, and Zi Wei still chooses to forgive her. Lao Fo Ye, after these last few months, surely you see some of Zi Wei's goodness as well."
A soft expression crossed Lao Fo Ye's face, which proved that Zi Wei's efforts to cultivate a good relationship with her in these previous months had at least made some impact. But then, to He Qi's immense disappointment, the softness vanished as fast as it appeared. "Goodness can be so easily faked. I have lived long enough in the world, and in the imperial palace, to understand that. It seems that you, my granddaughter, have yet to learn that lesson."
He Qi pursed her lips, knowing that it was useless to try and argue with Lao Fo Ye on this fact. Her words were, after all, true, even if they could not be applied to Zi Wei. She sighed deeply and tried a different tactic.
"Lao Fo Ye said you would help me ask Huang Ah Ma to release Zi Wei, Jin Suo, Er Kang and Xiao Hu."
"That was before all this information about Zi Wei's parentage came up. Before, I was willing to indulge Huang Di's belief that she is his daughter, but He Qi, you can hardly expect me to not at least consider the possibility that her relatives now speak truth that she was born over a year after Huang Di left Jinan and therefore could not be his child!"
"Lao Fo Ye, all people of the world are Huang Ah Ma's children," He Qi said. She pressed on even as as Lao Fo Ye scoffed at the aphorism. "Regardless of what might or might not have happened after Huang Ah Ma left Jinan, he nevertheless still failed Zi Wei's mother when he never came back for her. Isn't taking care of Zi Wei and loving her as his daughter now the least he can do to make up for that? Zi Wei herself has never been anything but a filial daughter to Huang Ah Ma and make him happy. Isn't that enough?"
"However, her arrival in the palace, and by extension, Xiao Hu's presence, has thrown the palace into chaos and pulled you into all sorts of unacceptable behaviours," Lao Fo Ye pointed out, her voice full of disapproval. "This whole thing with Xiang Fei would never have happened without them."
"I wish Lao Fo Ye would allow that I can think and decide for myself, and that I am not so easily influenced to do things just for the sake of breaking the rules because it is somehow thrilling," He Qi said, careful to keep her voice as meek and respectful as she could despite her mounting agitation that the current situation had clearly driven her grandmother back to the default position of distrusting and disapproving of everything about Xiao Hu and Zi Wei. "Hurting Huang Ah Ma was unfortunate, but if I didn't believe that helping Xiang Fei was the best thing for her, I wouldn't have agreed to it. You didn't like Xiang Fei anyway, Lao Fo Ye. Are you not glad that she is gone?"
The empress dowager bristled at He Qi's words. "Don't be ridiculous, He Qi," she said irritably. "My feelings on Xiang Fei factors very little into the principle of things, and so should yours. If we condone one imperial concubine running off, what is to stop all of them from following the same example?"
"Perhaps if they are unhappy enough in the palace to contemplate running off then we should let them," He Qi muttered. Before Lao Fo Ye could express displeasure, she added, at a more normal volume, "None of this changes the fact that these people casting doubt on Zi Wei's parentage came at a very convenient time if the purpose of such accusation was to harm Zi Wei, Lao Fo Ye."
"Perhaps it is convenient," Lao Fo Ye finally conceded with a sigh, "but the matter of the imperial bloodline is still one of vital importance. One cannot be too careful with it, so of course Huang Di and I must give some consideration to the words of Zi Wei's relatives. After all, what purpose could they have to deceive the emperor and discredit their own niece? Would it not be more beneficial for them to help her keep her position as princess so that they too can benefit from it?"
"I cannot speak for the motivations of Zi Wei's relatives as I do not know them, but Zi Wei told me that her mother cut off most ties with her family, so Zi Wei could not have met this distant great aunt and uncle more than a couple of times throughout her life. They are almost strangers to her, Lao Fo Ye, and as strangers, they are likely more easily swayed by immediate payment than any benefit that could trickle down to them from Zi Wei."
"Everything you are saying is speculations," Lao Fo Ye argued. "It does not matter if these speculations are true or not. It does not change the fact that Huang Di is extremely angry right now with everything that has happened in the last few days. If it had just been Xiang Fei's issue, I could have insisted on my way, but the question of Zi Wei's paternity is a thousand times more serious. So even I cannot persuade Huang Di to release them from prison at the moment."
He Qi twisted her handkerchief in her lap and gave Qing Er an agitated look. Lao Fo Ye, however, saw the exchange and could easily guess He Qi wanted Qing Er's help.
The empress dowager put her hand up to stop Qing Er's words before she even knew what she was going to say. "No, Qing Er, nothing you say will change the matter, either, so you should just save your breath. Those in prison will just have to suffer a little longer until this matter is resolved."
"How can this situation be resolved though?" He Qi asked, hiding a frustrated sigh. "Especially the situation with Zi Wei? There is no way to prove who her father actually is. I do not believe that Zi Wei would knowingly deceive Huang Ah Ma in this matter, and I would swear on my life on this! As the emperor's bloodline is such an important issue, then you cannot want to make a mistake either way. Right now, Huang Ah Ma is surely not in any shape to think rationally about the matter. Lao Fo Ye, I'm just afraid that in this state, Huang Ah Ma might make a decision he would regret later."
The tremor of fear that increasingly became apparent in He Qi's voice must have moved Lao Fo Ye somewhat, as she reached over to pat He Qi's hand. "I understand your agitation, and I am hearing your arguments, He Qi. In a few days, when everyone is a little less emotional, perhaps we can discuss further, but for now, you cannot interfere in this. You must give Huang Di time to think over this and make sense of what happened. I have made given some instructions to Zhong Ren Fu that they must not allow Zi Wei, Er Kang and Xiao Hu to suffer too much."
"You have?" He Qi asked, her voice higher with disbelief.
Lao Fo Ye gave her a look filled with resigned exasperation. "As I said, I cannot have you be so worried about them that you would put your own health in danger. Until Huang Di decides what to do with them, at least they will be relatively unharmed."
He Qi's conversation with Lao Fo Ye ended soon after, and realising that there was nothing else she could do in the palace, He Qi insisted on returning home. She might have nothing new to report, but at least she would not keep Xiao Jian in further suspense, waiting for her.
However, when she arrived back home, the first person she met was Xiao Deng Zi.
"Ge Ge, Xiao Da Ye has left."
"Left? What do you mean, he left? How could he have left? All the gates are full of guards."
"He said he could not sit still to wait for news anymore. He flew over the walls. He left this letter for you, Ge Ge."
Xiao Deng Zi handed He Qi a piece of paper. Slowly, she took it and went into her bedroom to read it.
I know it is discourteous of me to leave without saying goodbye, but I am afraid that if I told you that I am leaving, you would try to hold me back and I might not be able to refuse you. But I cannot sit and do nothing while my brother's life might be in danger, not after all the years we have been separated. I can do nothing here for fear of implicating you, so I must leave. I will keep an eye out and should the worst happen, I will try to do everything I can to save Xiao Hu and the others. I do not know if I will be able to send news to you, but I find that in dangerous situations like these, no news is often good news, so unless you hear of anything befalling us, you should hope that we are all still safe. Take care.
He Qi stared at the infuriatingly brief missive for a long moment after reading the last word, then she couldn't help but crumble it in her hand. Logically she knew that she probably should not worry about Xiao Jian. From what she had observed of him, and from the stories of his travels that he told Xiao Hu, he seemed an entirely self-sufficient man who could take care of himself. He was also probably right that both she and him might be safer if he was not in her manor, as sooner or later Huang Ah Ma would probably remember that Xiao Hu had a brother. When that time came, the first place he would look for Xiao Jian would be here, in her manor.
Still, she couldn't help feeling an overwhelming rush of frustration as she realised just how completely useless this princess title she held was in protecting the people she loved. It made her want to scream out loud in helplessness, or alternatively destroy everything in sight. Somehow, her upbringing still retained enough of its hold on her to make the former impossible, and she still cared too much about her servants to indulge in the latter and create more work for them. So instead, He Qi grabbed her bow and went to find a quiver full of arrow, and began sinking every one of the arrows into a straw target in a corner of the garden.
The next morning, He Qi tried to send Xiao Deng Zi out of the manor to see if he could make any contact with Er Tai to find out if Er Tai had any news or plans. However, He Qi had barely finished a cup of tea after Xiao Deng Zi had left her chambers before he was standing before her again.
"Ge Ge, all the guards at the all the gates have been changed," Xiao Deng Zi told her. "Apparently, Huang Shang was very angry that the old guards allowed you to leave the manor yesterday, and reassigned all of them. The new guards are all under strict orders that no one but the physician be allowed in or out. The guards say that even if you tried to go out, they are authorised to stop you by any means. They said, if we need something from outside, we can tell them and they will get it for us, but no one must leave the manor."
"You really could not persuade them to let you leave?" He Qi asked.
"I'm sorry, Ge Ge, but no."
She let out a heavy breath of disappointment. "It's not your fault," she said, catching the guilty look on Xiao Deng Zi's face.
The eunuch nodded and then watched her run her finger contemplatively over the rim of her teacup for a long moment. When He Qi looked up at him, he took a deep breath and said tentatively, "Ge Ge, if I may – "
"Go on," He Qi prompted when he trailed off.
"I don't think you should try to defy Huang Shang's order and go out again. While I'm sure if…if there really were dangers to your life, the guards would have to relent, but if Huang Shang is angry enough to replace all the guards and issue such drastic orders like this just because you left yesterday, it would not do to anger him further."
"Xiao Deng Zi is right, Ge Ge," Gui Hua, who was standing beside her, said. "Fu Er Ye and everyone else knows that you are trapped in here without news, so if anything happens, surely they will try to let you know. Meanwhile, it is as Xiao Da Ye said, perhaps it is better that there is no news."
He Qi knew her servants were probably right, and continuing to push Huang Ah Ma's patience might just end up provoking him to take his anger out on Xiao Hu and Zi Wei. That did not mean that it was easy to bear the suffocating sense of powerlessness she felt, being trapped inside her own home. She could not blame Xiao Jian for feeling he had to leave to do something, whatever that might be.
Over the next four seemingly interminable days, He Qi ate only enough to keep her servants from panicking and slept only when her exhaustion overwhelmed her.
It was on the fourth night, when Xiao Shun was trying to persuade her to go to sleep, when the door to her bedroom cracked open and Gui Hua slipped in, followed by a black-clad figure.
"Ge Ge," Gui Hua whispered, "Fu Er Ye is here."
He Qi shot straight up and rushed towards her friend. "Er Tai! How did you get in here?"
"I climbed over the walls," he said, stepping deeper into the room and pulling down the black mask covering his face.
"Did anyone see you?" she asked anxiously.
"Hopefully not. I know you must be dying for news in here so I had to risk it."
"What's happening? Tell me!"
"Let's sit down first," Er Tai said, leading her to the table in the middle of the room. "First, they are all alive."
He Qi sat heavily down into a chair and pressed a hand against her mouth to stifle a relieved sob.
"Unfortunately, this is not because Huang Shang decided to have mercy," Er Tai said, his voice weary. "Hearing all the lies about Zi Wei's mother must have provoked Huang Shang severely, because from what Li Gong Gong told me, Huang Shang was still hesitant on how to deal with Brother, Zi Wei and Xiao Hu before the meeting with Zi Wei's great aunt and uncle."
"I knew it!" He Qi cried. "What happened to them anyway, Zi Wei's great aunt and uncle and the midwife? I tried to ask Lao Fo Ye but she didn't say."
"Let's talk about them later," Er Tai said. "Two days after the meeting with Zi Wei's great aunt and uncle…Huang Shang sentenced Zi Wei, Xiao Hu to death by beheading for trying to infiltrate the imperial bloodline, exiled Jin Suo to Mongolia and sentenced my brother to fifteen years in prison."
"What? But you said – "
Er Tai held up a hand to stem He Qi's frantic interruptions and she forced herself to swallow her questions. He was here, and he would tell her everything, as long as she could try to curb all the worry she had been feeling over the last few days from boiling over now.
"Everyone from Ling Fei Niang Niang, my father, Qing Er tried to reason with Huang Shang. Even Lao Fo Ye said that Huang Shang should reconsider for your sake, but Huang Shang…he is very angry, and could not be reasoned with. But he also ordered that you cannot be told under any circumstances about these sentences. I don't know if it was due to concern about your wellbeing, or it is meant to be some form of punishment. Anyway, if the sentences had been carried out successfully, I don't know when you would actually be told…"
He Qi balled her hands into fists on the table top as she tried to swallow the fear rising in her throat, choking her. She kept having to remind herself of Er Tai's earlier reassurance, that they were all alive, so clearly the sentences hadn't been carried out successfully. But what if they had? Would she have been trapped in her own home for days…months…without even knowing that her own husband and her sister had…
He Qi closed her eyes, unable to continue imagining such a horrifying scenario. If she kept on thinking about it, surely she would go insane.
"Ling Fei Niang Niang managed to send words to my father to set up a hiding place outside the palace while inside, she came up with a plan to help my brother, Zi Wei and Xiao Hu escape from prison by buying out the prison guards. Ling Fei Niang Niang and Qing Er managed to help Brother, who had been moved to a different cell from Xiao Hu, escape, but were interrupted from helping Zi Wei and Xiao Hu escape when Huang Hou arrived."
He Qi clenched the edge of the table so hard that her knuckles were turning white as she hung on to Er Tai's every word.
"In the meantime, Liu Qing and Liu Hong came to our house looking for my brother, so I brought them to the hiding place my father had set up," Er Tai continued. "As rescuing Zi Wei and Xiao Hu from prison had failed, and Jin Suo had already started her journey to Mongolia, we knew the only way we could save Zi Wei and Xiao Hu's life now was to rescue them on the way to the execution ground. So Liu Qing, Liu Hong, my brother and I stood in the crowd along the route to the execution ground in wait."
"You were there too?" He Qi asked. "But Er Kang tried so hard to keep you out of this for a reason – "
"Did you really think I would let them do this alone? Of course not! My parents tried to stop me, but even they knew it was futile. I was masked, so no one saw my face. Even if the palace guards recognised my form, there was no evidence that I was involved. Without concrete evidence, Huang Shang still had the alliance with Sai Ya's father to consider."
He Qi reached out and placed her hand over his sleeve, wanting to thank him, for both risking his life to save Zi Wei and Xiao Hu, but also for being here now to tell her all of this. But she only managed to say, "Er Tai – " before becoming overwhelmed by emotions. How did one even express thanks for such actions?
He understood what she was trying convey, however, because he gave her a wan but reassuring smile.
"I didn't realise that Xiao Jian wasn't with you anymore," Er Tai said.
"No, he left while I was in the palace the day that day when Huang Ah Ma met with Zi Wei's relatives," He Qi explained. "I can't blame him, it's not like he can do anything useful in here. He would be much more use to everyone if he were outside and free to move around."
"Yes, he and Meng Dan joined us in rescuing Xiao Hu and Zi Wei," Er Tai said. "I'm pretty sure we might have failed without their help."
"You really rescued them from the execution?" He Qi asked, her voice hoarse with emotions. "Huang Ah Ma really would have…he really would have killed them? I don't…I didn't think he could actually bear to do that. Even back then, when Xiao Hu pretended to be a prince, he was angry, but he wasn't the one who ordered Zi Wei and Xiao Hu and Jin Suo to be tortured. That was all Huang Hou's doing. This time…"
"This time, I think it was just a combination of everything coming down on Huang Shang at the same time. Actually, the procession to the execution ground was actually severely delayed because the common people were all begging Huang Shang not to kill Zi Wei and Xiao Hu. The official in charge sent a rider back to the palace to ask for a mercy order. Ling Fei said, in the palace, all the princes and princesses were also begging for mercy on Zi Wei and Xiao Hu's behalf. Apparently, for a moment, it looked as if Huang Shang would relent, then…then the prison guards came in with the news that my brother had escaped from prison. That just angered Huang Shang anew…"
He Qi pressed her hand to her mouth and choked back a sob. "I knew what we did was a betrayal of Huang Ah Ma's trust, but I always thought, considering how much he loved us all, he would still be understanding in the end," she said through tears. "Or at least, he would be lenient for my sake…How could Huang Ah Ma bear to do this to me? Xiao Hu…he is the father of my child, and Zi Wei had been nothing but a good daughter to Huang Ah Ma. Did none of that mean anything? No matter how angry at us Huang Ah Ma is, these are still our lives at stake. How could Huang Ah Ma's obsession with Han Xiang be so great that he could overlook all of this?"
"Zi Wei is also very hurt and Xiao Hu very angry over the fact that Huang Shang ordered their deaths seemingly so easily." Er Tai sighed. Then, as if trying to distract both himself and He Qi from this emotional burden, he pressed on with his accounts. "We rescued Zi Wei and Xiao Hu from the execution yesterday, and they're now hiding out with Xiao Jian's friends. Han Xiang and Meng Dan are also there. Liu Qiu and Liu Hong rescued Jin Suo this morning."
"Han Xiang and Meng Dan haven't left Beijing?"
"No, apparently Xiao Jian advised Meng Dan in advance that they should remain in Beijing and wait until the danger has passed before attempting to leave the capital. This is admittedly wise. Huang Shang has people on all the roads branching out of Beijing looking for them, so hiding in an obscure farm is probably the safest place. For now, they're all safe, so you should not worry."
"Not worry…How could I not?" Shaking her head, He Qi tried to put the thought aside for now. Er Tai probably risked his life to sneak past the guards around her house to come to her to tell her the news. She did not want to dwell on feelings that were likely to continue to haunt her for days to come. "What are their plans now?" she asked instead.
"They should leave Beijing, all of them. It won't be safe here for them forever," Er Tai said. "But both Xiao Hu and Zi Wei are understandably reluctant to leave without you."
"If they don't leave…then what?"
"Huang Shang has given orders to look for them, as well as Han Xiang and Meng Dan. If they try to hide out in Beijing, I think the temptation to keep up contact between us and them will be too high. Eventually Huang Shang may realise there is no trace of them on the roads and draw the conclusion that they might still be in Beijing. In that case, we might end up bringing Huang Shang's men directly to where they hide."
"So they must leave," He Qi concluded.
Er Tai didn't answer but the expression on his face made it clear enough.
"Tell Xiao Hu and Zi Wei that they must go," He Qi said slowly. "Huang Ah Ma has not tried to do anything to me. Lao Fo Ye will not allow it, in any case, so I will be safe. But I will not have them risk their lives by remaining in Beijing. Perhaps, one day, Heaven willing, we will be able to see each other again."
He Qi didn't realise that she had been clenching her hands so tightly in her lap that her nails were digging into her palm until the pain of it made her take in a sharp breath. She looked down and opened her palms to find the half-moon shapes of her nails pressed into the skin of her hand. Drawing a shaking breath, she stood up and approached her dressing table. Opening her vanity box, she took out her favourite hairpin, a silver chai with a blue enamel swallow bird flying over a sprig of crystal plum blossoms.
Twisting the two prongs of the hairpin until it snapped it half, separating the enamel swallow from the plum blossoms, He Qi then wrapped the half of the hairpin with the swallow in her handkerchief. She handed it to Er Tai.
"Will you give this to Xiao Hu?" she said. "Tell him, our child and I will wait for him. One day, when the situation has settled, and Huang Ah Ma no longer has such a close watch on me, if he still…if he still cares for me and comes back for me, we will go with him wherever he wants to go. In the meantime, I will wait for him, no matter what."
Er Tai looked at her sorrowfully for a long moment, before nodding silently and taking the little bundle from her, tucking it into his sleeve. "I'll give it to him, I promise."
He Qi closed her eyes and pressed her lips tightly together to stop herself from breaking down in tears. Er Tai placed a hand at her elbow and gently guided her back down to her earlier-vacated chair.
"Before I go, there's also the matter of Zi Wei's relatives," Er Tai said quietly.
He Qi took a deep breath to compose herself and wiped her tears away with the back of her hand. "Yes," she said gruffly. "You said earlier that we should discuss them?"
"Li Gong Gong told me discreetly that after that meeting with Zi Wei's relatives, Huang Shang simply ordered them and the midwife to be taken out of his sight. The guards that Li Yu assigned with taking them out the palace escorted them to their lodgings, which was a quite luxurious inn in the capital, which should have been quite out of their budget range if you consider how poorly they were dressed."
"Li Yu? Is he trying to help us by telling you this?"
"I think so. Li Yu is loyal to Huang Shang, and he must be, given his position, but he is not devoid of reason. I think in this case he understands as well as we do that the sudden presence of Zi Wei's relatives and their testimonies are meant to aggravate Huang Shang even further. Li Yu cannot do much outside the palace, but he gave me the location where Zi Wei's relatives and the midwife are staying in Beijing. I have some of my father's trusted men keeping watch on them at the inn right now, and these men will follow them wherever they go. I don't think whoever paid them will cause them harm in the capital. But the road back to Jinan is long, and there are plenty of ways three elder people like them can die on the roads. If anyone makes a move on them, my father's men will rescue them. Perhaps having someone try to kill them will scare them into talking about whoever paid them. Even if no one makes any move on them, we can still gather information about how much money they have and are spending, and perhaps prove that they are clearly living beyond their previous means. Hopefully that will help us clear up doubts about Zi Wei's identity, if nothing else."
"Yes, this is a good plan," He Qi said. "I tried to analyse the situation for Lao Fo Ye and show her how this was clearly a set-up, but when it comes to a matter like this, nothing but a confession from those people that they had been lying will do to convince Lao Fo Ye and Huang Ah Ma. Perhaps if we can prove that the accusations against Zi Wei's identity were false, it will also make Huang Ah Ma be more open to reason and realise that he had been hasty to order her and Xiao Hu's deaths too."
"I hope so as well," Er Tai said. "I was able to speak to Ling Fei Niang Niang earlier today, and she did say that when she asked Huang Shang whether he really expected to be shown Zi Wei and Xiao Hu's decapitated heads and whether he was prepared to tell you what would have happened, he could not answer."
He Qi shuddered at the images Er Tai just alluded to, but she couldn't help but feel a small creeping sense of relief that at least her father still hesitated when confronted with the reality of what it actually meant to order Xiao Hu and Zi Wei's deaths.
Er Tai stood up. "That is all the news I have. I must go now. I've stayed too long and the last thing we need right now is for the two of us to be found like this."
He Qi stood up as well and reached out to squeeze his wrist. "Thank you for coming to tell me all of this. Even though the situation is still dangerous, it gives me much relief to know what's going on."
Er Tai smiled encouragingly at her. "We must have hope it will turn out well, He Qi. Take care of yourself, for both your and Xiao Hu's sakes."
He Qi nodded. "Be careful," she said, as Er Tai pulled the mask that had been hanging around his neck up to his face. With one last reassuring look at her, he then turned and slipped out of the door, leaving He Qi alone in the dark silence of her cold bedroom again.
It was another five nights later when He Qi was roused from a restless sleep when she felt something shift on her bed. She opened her eyes and would have screamed as she saw a shadow hovering over her, if that person did not press a hand over her mouth, stifling her.
"Ssshhh! It's me!" a voice hissed.
He Qi gasped against the hand that still covered her mouth as she recognised Xiao Hu's voice and began to make out the outlines of his face as her eyes adjusted to the dim candlelight in the room.
"Can I let go? Do you promise not to scream?" he asked as she stared at him, wide-eyed.
He Qi nodded and slowly, Xiao Hu's hand over her mouth slackened. She sat hastily up and threw her arms around him, both relieved to see him but shaking with fear that he was here.
"What are you going here?" she asked, her voice high-pitched with worry. "You shouldn't be here, it's too dangerous!"
Xiao Hu didn't immediately answer. Instead, he simply wrapped his arms around her as well and held her securely, stroking her hair. It was all He Qi could do to try and calm her racing heart and stop herself from bursting into tears at the aching familiarity of his touch.
She didn't know how much time passed, but eventually He Qi pulled away. She cupped his face in her hands and rested her forehead against his, tears trickling down her cheeks.
Xiao Hu reached up and brushed away her tears with his thumbs. "It's all right," he whispered. "I'm here. It's all right."
"You shouldn't be here!" she cried, looking up at him. "How did you even get in?"
"My brother managed to climb out and Er Tai managed to climb in. Did you think I won't be able to get in as well?"
"Why are you here?" she asked, so overwhelmed with seeing her husband again, alive and safe, that her head felt heavy and all fogged up.
"I told you, I'm not leaving you and our child. You're here, so of course I have to be here as well."
"No!" He Qi said frantically, pushing him away. "You have to leave! Go!"
"Do you want me to go?" he asked sadly. "You don't need me anymore?"
"Of course I need you!" she sobbed. "But Huang Ah Ma ordered to have you killed! If someone finds you, you'll die!"
"I don't – " Xiao Hu started to say, but this time, it was He Qi who clapped her hand over his mouth, silencing him. There were suddenly sounds of clanging metal and heavy footsteps in the courtyard, drawing closer. He Qi shot a wide-eyed terrified look at Xiao Hu before looking around the room for a place where he could hide.
Outside the courtyard, a guard was saying to Gui Hua, who was on night duty, "Open the door!"
"What nonsense is this!" Gui Hua snapped. "This is Ge Ge's bedroom and it's the middle of the night! How dare you just burst into Ge Ge's courtyard like this and just demand entrance? You are disturbing Ge Ge's sleep. If this disturbance has negative impacts on Ge Ge's pregnancy, how many heads do you all have to pay for your crimes?"
Inside the bedroom, He Qi was pointing at the closet, but Xiao Hu was shaking his head. He Qi looked at him pleadingly. Did he actually have no intention to hide? Granted, she knew that any attempts at hiding in a closet would likely be futile. If the guards insisted on barging in here, the first thing they throw open would be the closet doors. But surely Xiao Hu shouldn't stand out in the open to be arrested?
Outside, the guards were still arguing with Gui Hua. "We found evidence that someone had climbed over the walls. They left distinctive footprints with red dirt by the southern garden wall. We followed the footprints here, so there is an intruder about. Ge Ge's safety is in danger, so we must insist on checking the room."
"I've been out here all evening!" Gui Hua said disdainfully. "I have seen no intruder. There is no other way into the bedroom except this door."
Giving up on trying to get Xiao Hu to hide for the time being, and knowing with all the ruckus her servants were making, she could no longer pretend to be asleep, He Qi called out, "What is going on? What is all this noise?"
"Ge Ge, forgive me," Gui Hua said. "But the guards are being very insolent. They say they are chasing an intruder and I have told them I have seen no one suspicious about. But they are insisting on checking your room even though while they are tarrying here, they're certainly letting the intruder get away elsewhere."
"Forgive us, Ge Ge, but we clearly traced the intruder's steps here. Please let us in to check the room," the leader of the guard said, ignoring Gui Hua's words.
"It is late," He Qi said, "it's not convenient to allow men to come in. There is no intruder here, I assure you."
"Ge Ge, we must insist on checking!" the leader said, and there were sounds of the whole host of them moving forward.
"Ge Ge said you may not come in!" Gui Hua said. "Ge Ge already said she is fine, there is no need to come in."
"Miss, if there's nothing to hide, what harm is there in checking?"
"How dare you! Are you implying that Ge Ge is hiding something? This is a matter of principle! I would not allow you to burst into even the lowliest maid's room at this time of night, let alone Ge Ge's."
It seemed that Gui Hua had planted herself at the door and in their attempt to push her aside, the door rattled.
Realising that the guards likely would not give up unless she let them in, He Qi pulled Xiao Hu towards the bed and pushed him in. Then, she covered him with a blanket and got into bed herself, drawing the curtains closed.
"Gui Hua, just let them in and be done with it," she cried out, injecting as much sleepy annoyance into her voice as she could muster. "I would like to be able to get back to sleep sometime tonight."
There was a pause, then Gui Hua answered hesitantly. "Yes, Ge Ge."
The door opened and the guards streamed in. He Qi watched through the bed curtains as they moved about the room, throwing open closet doors and checking under furniture. From the outside, they would only see her silhouette and what looked like lumps of blankets on the bed.
"See? There's no intruder here!" Gui Hua said disdainfully when the guards could find nothing suspicious.
"Ge Ge – " the leader of the guards said, then trailed off.
He Qi wondered if he would actually insist on checking her bed. Deciding to not wait and find out, she bluffed, "Is there anywhere else you need to check? Do you expect me to lift the bed curtains for you to check? Perhaps you think that I am in the habit of letting strange men into my bed?"
"No, of course not," the leader of the guards said, shrinking back at the iciness in her voice. "We have offended you, Ge Ge, and deserve a thousand deaths."
The guard hastily withdrew. After the door closed, Xiao Hu tried to get out from under the blanket but He Qi pushed him down and waited for a long moment.
The door opened again and He Qi tensed, until she realised it was only Gui Hua, and she was alone.
"Ge Ge," her maid whispered, sitting down on the edge of the bed.
"What's happening outside?" He Qi asked, just as Xiao Hu threw back the blanket.
"Two of the guards insisted on remaining to protect you and I could not persuade them to leave. I did manage to get them to stand on the far side of the courtyard, so they should not be able to hear us talking. But Ye, you cannot leave now."
"It's just as well, I don't intend to leave anyway," Xiao Hu said.
Gui Hua looked at He Qi, whose head was still too muddled to think straight. She sighed and told her maid, "Just keep them out of earshot tonight. Tomorrow, don't come in before I call for you. We'll figure out what to do then."
"Yes, Ge Ge," Gui Hua said before leaving the room.
He Qi turned to Xiao Hu and took his hands tightly in her own. "You shouldn't have come here. Are you not afraid?"
"Yes," he said, his voice shaking despite everything. "I'm afraid of being found, and being killed. I'm also so angry at…at that Sleeping Dragon for wanting to kill me. We're supposed to make plans to leave, go far away from Beijing and never come back. But then…I think of you and our baby, and I can't do it. I had to see you."
"Sleeping Dragon?" He Qi asked, only to have something to say. She was too emotional at the knowledge that even with death hanging over his head, he could not bear to leave her to comment on the rest of his words.
"Brother said we can't keep referring to him as Huang Shang or Huang Ah Ma while on the run, so we came up with this to call him by. He has been so blinded that rage that he doubted Zi Wei's mother and ordered to have me and Zi Wei killed. Isn't Sleeping Dragon an appropriate name then?"
He Qi looked down and couldn't help tears falling. She wasn't sure whether she was crying because she could not face the reality that her father was so furious that he ordered their deaths either, or because it broke her heart to hear the hurt that rang in Xiao Hu's voice, which before had so often spoken with reverence for Huang Ah Ma.
"Are you okay?" he asked, tilting her face up so that he could look at her. "He didn't hurt you, did he?"
"No," she said, shaking her head, wiping away her tears. "He would not. Lao Fo Ye would not allow it, anyway."
Xiao Hu sighed in relief and pressed his lips against her forehead.
"What are you going to do?" she asked, pulling away, refusing to allow herself to get lost in this reunion when his life was in danger. "You cannot intend to stay here."
Xiao Hu reached inside his shirt and pulled out a necklace of twine he was wearing, at the end of which hung the half of her hairpin. "You asked Er Tai to give me this, you said you would wait for me. This was your favourite hairpin, and you broke it for me?"
"How could a trinket compare to you? I wanted to give you something to remember me by, so that at least, there was a chance you might not forget me."
Xiao Hu shook his head and caressed her cheek with his thumb. "You are carrying my child, how could I possibly forget you? I can't even bring myself to leave you to languish in worry and without hope like this. No, we should be together, no matter what. If you are here, then I must be here also."
"But – "
"No, I've thought about it. I can just hide in our bedroom suite. The servants would not give me away."
"But the guards are all Huang Ah Ma's people," He Qi said. "You heard how they were just now. They will realise very soon that there is more than just me in these rooms."
"Even if I die, I have to stay with you," Xiao Hu said, clearly with more bravado than he really felt.
He Qi choked back a sob and took his hands firmly in hers. "Don't say that! How could I ever face your brother if something happened to you? Does he even know you're here? Surely he can't have agreed to you coming here?"
"Brother doesn't know, no," Xiao Hu said. "I snuck away. He would stop me if he could."
"He must hate me for being the reason you're putting yourself in danger. You two have been separated for so many years, now that you have finally found each other. Can you really tear yourself away from him like this again?"
"My brother will understand, eventually," Xiao Hu said, sounding as if he was trying to convince both He Qi and himself. "Besides, it doesn't matter. I promised once that I would take care of you, I can't break that promise now. If I must die, then at least I will die by your side."
Regardless of the way his voice trembled as he said this, He Qi looked into his eyes and saw that he meant it. She did not know how she could meet this declaration, nor how to answer it, so she only wrapped her arms tightly around Xiao Hu, holding him close, as if fearing he would be torn from her come morning.
If we must die, then we will die together, she couldn't help thinking. But she could not speak that thought out loud – it would only needlessly worry him – so she opted for saying nothing instead.
A/N: A note on Li Yu, who historically was one of the eunuchs attending to Qian Long personally: I set up his presence in this fic as early as chapter 3 intending for him to be there to help He Qi and co. in this arc of the story. His characterisation is pretty much taken wholesale from Li Yu in the drama Legend of Ruyi/Ruyi's Royal Love in the Palace. There is this archetype in Chinese culture/dramas of the evil scheming eunuch, but Li Yu in Ruyi is the total antithesis of that archetype, being incredibly loyal, kind and reasonable but also not stupid which means he manages to survive the entire length of the drama despite how much of an asshole that drama's Qian Long is. I think if he was transported into the HZGG-verse, Li Yu would be totally (secretly) down with helping Han Xiang run away. So I've decided to adopt him into this story.