17. stone-faced / dying inside
They somehow managed to get through the next morning without any more guards bursting into her bedroom. He Qi couldn't help but think that it seemed eerily like the calm before a storm.
And that storm eventually did come, when in the afternoon, Xiao Zhuo Zi burst into the room, startling both He Qi and Xiao Hu. He looked like he had just run at top speed from the manor gates.
"Ge Ge, Huang Shang is coming. With guards," he managed to say breathlessly.
He Qi's eyes widened, and this time, she more or less shoved Xiao Hu into the closet. "Please, please just stay here and don't make any noise," she begged.
"They're going to find me," he said.
"They will have to go through me, first," she said, before closing the door and turning around, just in time to hear footsteps in growing louder outside.
"Where is he?" the emperor demanded as he stalked into the room. His retinue of heavily armed guards thankfully remained outside for now.
He Qi curtsied as calmly as she was able. "Huang Ah Ma jixiang," she said, as if she had not been put under house arrest by her father for these many days and the last time she had seen him, he had not been ready to put her in prison. "Huang Ah Ma, who are you looking for?"
"Do not play games with me, He Qi!" the emperor growled. "Where is Xiao Hu? And do not deny that he is here! The guards reported to me that someone climbed over the walls yesterday but they turned the entire manor upside down and could not find him. You must be hiding him! And I will find him!"
He Qi watched as her father looked around the room. She forced herself to remain calm as his eyes lingered over the closet.
"Huang Ah Ma, after you find him, what do you intend to do then?" He Qi asked, stepping in front of him so that she could look him in the eyes, and block the closet from his view. "Would you kill him, right in front of me?"
Her father stared back at her, and for a moment, looked almost taken back by her question, as if, despite his hasty and furious arrival, he had not actually thought about what would happen if his guards successfully dragged Xiao Hu out in front of him now. Face and the dignity of imperial power dictated that he carried out his previously foiled order to execute Xiao Hu, but would he do it right here in front of He Qi?
"Huang Ah Ma, Xiao Hu had already escaped execution, he could be in the winds right now," He Qi said, her voice growing more determined with every word. "But if he did come back, then it can only be out of concern for me, because he could not leave me. Huang Ah Ma, I cannot go against your orders if you really do want Xiao Hu dead, but you must also know, if you kill him, I will not live alone."
"You would not dare!" her father scoffed.
"Would I not?" she challenged. "Huang Ah Ma, alongside the literary works of great sages, I also grew up reading Stories of Exemplary Women. What is female virtue and chastity but to live and die with my husband?"
Somehow, these words made her father grow angry, and he grabbed her by the wrist and twisted it painfully. "How dare you!" he shouted, glaring fiercely at her. "You would use your life to intimidate me, to threaten me? You think I cannot bear to lose you?"
"Before all of this, I would say Huang Ah Ma could not bear to lose me, or Zi Wei, or Xiao Hu. But you have ordered Zi Wei and Xiao Hu's death. What value, then, does He Qi's life hold for you?" she asked, meeting his glare evenly.
Her calmness seemed to unnerve her father, as he abruptly let go of her, as if burned, blinking wildly before turning away. He Qi drew a shaking breath, hoping that her father's mercurial state meant that there was still hope of convincing him to spare their lives. She continued to speak, now to her father's back.
"Huang Ah Ma, over a year ago, the six of us counted on the fact that Huang Ah Ma would not be able to bear killing us all even after finding out that Xiao Hu was not your son. Now, your daughter also only has this one bargaining chip: the slightest hope that there is still some love in Huang Ah Ma's heart for me, to spare my life, and the life of the father of my child." This time, she dared to reach out to touch her father's arm. Her voice grew softer now. "Huang Ah Ma, what we did was unforgiveable. For the loss we have caused you, we would all gladly use the rest of our lives to repay you by staying by your side and giving you as much joy as we did before. Would you really rather lose us all instead?"
The emperor jerked his arm away from her, but He Qi already felt that his entire body was trembling, though she did not know for sure if it was with rage, or with some other emotion.
Before either father or daughter could say anything else, Li Yu entered the room.
"What?" the emperor barked at him.
"Huang Shang, Fu Er Ye requests an audience. He has…he has Zi Wei Ge Ge's relatives, the midwife and another man with him, and they say they have a confession to make. Fu Er Ye brought them to Yang Xin Dian first, but considering this is a sensitive matter, your servant dared judge that Huang Shang would want to hear about it immediately so your servant took the liberty to bring them all here instead."
"Did I not say I don't want to see those people again?" the emperor shouted. "How dare you bring them here!"
"Huang Shang," Li Yu said, falling onto his knees, but speaking with determination nonetheless, "forgive your servant, but I have asked them some questions, and they say they want to confess that their testimonies to Your Majesty the other day was a lie. The other man that Fu Er Ye has captured would also confirm that…"
He Qi watched as the expression of anger on her father's face turned into one of conflicted pain. As he closed his eyes to shut out the world, she dared to draw closer to him and said, "Huang Ah Ma, no matter how angry you are at us, would you really want to live with the fact that you could have mistakenly ordered the death of your own daughter?"
His eyes sprang open and he turned to stare at her, but He Qi wondered, in that moment, whether he really saw her, or if it was the image of her sister that stood before him. Finally, after what seemed like an age, he finally said gruffly, "Bring them to the main receiving hall."
Li Yu immediately withdrew to carry out the order. The emperor lingered a little longer, struggling to contain his emotions. Then, he strode towards the door, and for a moment, He Qi debated whether to follow or to stay and release Xiao Hu from his hiding place. Her father, however, stop just short of stepping over the door way and shot an annoyed look towards the closet.
"Just get out of there already, and come listen to what this is all about, considering you were so energetic in defending her before!"
Without waiting for either He Qi or Xiao Hu to make any response, he walked away. He Qi could only stare after him for a long moment, until the sound of Xiao Hu struggling to open the closet door from the inside roused her to run over to release him. She also had lean down to help him stand up, as being trapped in such a small space for a long time had made him lose all feelings in his legs.
"Why do girls always think the best hiding place is the closet?" Xiao Hu grumbled as he bent over to massage his legs.
"What?"
"Remind me some time to tell you of how I once saved a girl from an unwanted married the day I met Zi Wei," Xiao Hu said vaguely. Before He Qi could ask him to elaborate, he turned his head towards the door. "What do you think Huang Ah Ma meant by that I should just come and listen?" he asked, apparently shocked enough that he forgot to even call the emperor "Sleeping Dragon".
"I'm not sure," He Qi said, not daring to hope too much, lest she be disappointed later. "But considering he knew you were in here and didn't order the guards to capture you, you might be safe for now. We might as well go out there and see what's going on."
Immediately, Xiao Hu couldn't help looking fearful. "What if – "
"Don't worry," He Qi said, with more surety in her voice than she really felt. "I told you, if they want to get at you, they would have to go through me."
When He Qi and Xiao Hu finally made it into the receiving hall of their manor, they found the emperor sitting at the head of the room, Li Yu standing in wait beside him. Four figures knelt in the middle of the room: Zi Wei's great aunt and uncle, the midwife and a burly man dressed in black clothes. Er Tai was standing beside the black-clad man, looking ready to fight him if the need arose despite the fact that the man was already securely bound with ropes.
There was a deadly silence in the room, and yet He Qi couldn't help but feel like they had been waiting for her and Xiao Hu to arrive.
The emperor glared at the top of Xiao Hu's bowed head as he made his greetings, but then gruffly told him to rise and for both He Qi and Xiao Hu to sit.
Once everybody was settled, Er Tai looked towards the three people from Jinan kneeling on the floor.
"Speak! Tell Huang Shang what you told me!"
It was Zi Wei's great uncle who finally found the courage to speak first.
"Huang Shang, please forgive these lowly commoners. Everything we said to you the other day about Zi Wei's birth are lies. Zi Wei was not born in winter, she was born on the second day of the eighth month of year Ren Xu and was named Zi Wei from birth. The midwife here will confirm this as well."
"Yes, yes, this is true," the midwife said, kowtowing. "I attended to the young lady at the Xia house that day, and it was the eighth month, and I remember her naming her daughter Zi Wei."
The emperor didn't make any immediate response to these statements, but only stared coldly at the people kneeling in front of him. He Qi couldn't help but exchange a nervous look at Xiao Hu, wondering if her father would now believe these words. They had, after all, recanted their account within days of apparently swearing up and down that Zi Wei was born in winter. Xiao Hu clenched the armrest and looked like he would jump in to interrogate further, but Er Tai gave him a furtive shake of head. Thankfully, this was enough for Xiao Hu to slide back into his chair, though there was still a thunderous look on his face. He Qi could only place a hand over his in comfort as they both waited.
"Tell Huang Shang why you lied in the first place," Er Tai finally prompted, when it did not appear as if the emperor would.
Zi Wei's great aunt and uncle exchanged a nervous look with the midwife before sneaking more looks at the black-clad man. It took several false starts, but then the uncle said, "Four months ago, this man, who said his name was Ba Lang, arrived at our house in Jinan. He said…he said we were to go to Beijing and when summoned, tell the story of how Zi Wei was born in mid-winter. We didn't want to do it at first, even though he offered a lot of money, because our daughter, Qiu Er, is sick and we wanted to stay in Jinan to take care of her. But then he threatened to kill Qiu Er! We didn't have any choice! We thought the money would also help us buy medicine for Qiu Er! Ba Lang brought us to Beijing four months ago and paid for us to stay at an inn all this time. Our daughter has to stay with a relative all this time. Then… Ba Lang came to fetch us the other day and brought us to the palace. After we told the story as he asked and were brought back to the inn, Ba Lang came to visit us again and told us we were free to go back to Jinan. We didn't think…"
Here, he trailed off and threw the man, Ba Lang, a frightened look.
"You didn't think what?" the emperor finally demanded.
"We didn't think that Ba Lang would bring martial arts experts to kill us the moment we were out of the city gates!" the uncle cried. Then, he was shaking so much with fear that he could not speak another word.
"If he tried to kill you, how are you still alive?" Qian Long asked.
Er Tai stepped forward and bowed. "Huang Shang, for this part, if you would let me explain."
The emperor gave a terse nod.
"Huang Shang, with some time and distance to think over this, with your wisdom, you must see that the timing of these three people being brought before you to make these accusations against Zi Wei was suspicious. Because the timing was suspicious, after hearing of what happened, your subject boldly dared to question the palace guards who escorted them out of the palace to see where they were staying. I was told they were staying at one of the most expensive inns in the capital. This place was clearly beyond their means, which added to my suspicion. Therefore, I had people keeping watch on the inn and followed these three people as they exited the city. I thought, if it were as I suspected, that these three people were paid to lie about Zi Wei's parentage, then perhaps their lives were in danger now that their use is over. Sure enough, yesterday, not long after these three people left the gates of Beijing and went into less populated roads, they were set upon by what appeared to be bandits. My men were able to save all three of them from these so-called bandits and capture their leader, who is this man, Ba Lang. They were all brought to our house yesterday evening, where these three people made to my father and me the same confession of their lie as they just told you now. Huang Shang, I also searched Ba Lang, and found this identity badge on his person."
From his sleeve, Er Tai drew a wooden pendant, the kind given to palace servants as proof of identity as they move throughout the palace to do their work.
He Qi craned her neck, trying and failing to read it, as her father took it and turned it over in his hand. The expression on his face immediately turned to shock.
"You are Kun Ning Gong's servant?" he demanded, looking towards Ba Lang.
"Huang Shang, your servant begs your understanding, I was only following Huang Hou Niang Niang's orders!" Ba Lang finally spoke for the first time, kowtowing. "I was only following orders!"
"And what were your orders?" the emperor asked, slamming the pendant down on the table beside him in anger.
"Huang Hou Niang Niang…Huang Hou Niang Niang said, I was to bring Zi Wei Ge Ge's great aunt and uncle, and the midwife, to Beijing by any means, and have them fabricate the story about Zi Wei Ge Ge's birth. At first, Huang Hou Niang Niang did not have a plan as to when they could be used, so I was also charged with keeping them in Beijing these four months while Huang Hou Niang Niang waited for an opportunity."
"Huang Ah Ma! That would explain why they appeared in front of you so suddenly!" He Qi exclaimed, finally unable to keep quiet any longer. "I have been wondering ever since Lao Fo Ye told me of the meeting at Yang Xin Dian. Even if they travelled day and night, it should have taken more time for them travel from Shandong to Beijing. People don't just leave their lives to go see a relative they are not close to just on a whim, even with monetary incentives! They have been kept as a secret weapon in Beijing all this time and have had months to come up with a coherent story!"
Her father gave her a quelling look, but He Qi met his eyes squarely. She was relieved to see a thoughtful expression in his eyes as the meanings of her words began to sink in.
"What of the attack on these three people yesterday?" the emperor asked Ba Lang.
"Replying to Huang Shang, my orders were to kill them at the first opportunity." Seeing the emperor's growing furious expression, Ba Lang banged his head repeatedly on the ground. "Huang Shang, please have mercy, your servant really was just following orders!"
"Silence! We will deal with you and Huang Hou later!" the emperor shouted, which immediately put a stop to Ba Lang's begging. Turning his wrath towards Zi Wei's great aunt, great uncle and the midwife, he demanded, "Do you three know the consequences of lying to the emperor?"
The question sent the three people cowering into themselves, shivering with fear and begging for mercy.
Er Tai knelt down in front of the emperor and said, "Huang Shang, your subject begs Huang Shang's forgiveness, but in order to get them to tell the truth, I had to tell them that I would beg for mercy on their behalf. Huang Shang, given that their daughter is sick, they were doing this in part to pay for her treatment. It is also clear that their lives and those of their family were also being threatened, so the fact that they agreed to telling this lie is perhaps somewhat understandable. Huang Shang, according to the law, they deserve death for having lied to you. Your subject dares not say any lives are insignificant, but surely killing them will not satisfy anyone, I dare say, not even Huang Shang. Certainly, you know enough of Zi Wei's goodness to know that she will not wish it, even for all the pain they have caused her. As for Huang Shang, isn't the more important thing to do now is to salvage the relationship between you and Zi Wei?"
"The most important thing right now is to see what Huang Hou has to say about all of this," the emperor said briskly, ignoring Er Tai's mention of Zi Wei. Instead, he ordered, "Er Tai, escort them all to the palace!"
"Yes, Huang Shang," Er Tai replied, though it was clear that he was struggling to push away a great disappointment.
"I will accompany you, Huang Ah Ma," He Qi said quietly, rising from her seat. Her father did not reply to her, but simply strode out of the room. She took that to mean that he did not oppose of her joining him.
"I'll go too," Xiao Hu said eagerly, but He Qi turned and placed a hand on his chest to hold him back.
She waited until the emperor was out of earshot, and Er Tai had escorted the others away, before saying, "No, it might still be dangerous for you to go into the palace right now. Please, just stay home. No matter what, Huang Ah Ma will have to allow me to come back here eventually, and I will update you on what happened."
"But – "
He Qi interrupted his protest with a pleading looking and squeezing his hands tightly. "Xiao Hu, please. I just need this assurance and not have to worry about your safety in the palace for now."
Sighing, he reluctantly nodded.
He Qi gave him a smile of relief and raised his hand to her lips and kissed his knuckles gently. Then, she said, "Ba Ya Tou is still here, I've given her a room in Hong Luo Zhai. You should go and check on her while I'm gone. I'm sure she'll be glad to see you."
Though he allowed her to sit in the same carriage on the way to the palace, the emperor did not speak a single word to He Qi throughout the entire journey. She did not wish to raise his ire, so she did not try to start a conversation when he clearly did not wish for one. It was a blessing, therefore, when they finally arrived and she could exit the pressing cold silence of the carriage.
She followed him just as silently to Kun Ning Gong, then from there to Ci Ning Gong, upon hearing the servants report that the empress had gone to pay respects to the empress dowager.
The confrontation at Ci Ning Gong ended up revealing more information than either Er Tai or He Qi could have expected. The empress first tried to deny any acquaintance with Ba Lang, or knowledge of what he had done, and in the process, even accused Er Tai of setting up these false reports against her.
"Huang Shang, Lao Fo Ye, your subject knows that, given my own bias towards exonerating Zi Wei from the accusations against her, the question of whether I have orchestrated these confessions is warranted," Er Tai said. "However, as Ba Lang is clearly a palace servant with an identity badge, then his assignment has to be on records. I am sure if we check, it will be easy enough to confirm the palace to which he has been assigned and how long he has been there. Surely Huang Hou Niang Niang does not mean to imply that Er Tai holds so much power as to be able to bribe or intimidate a Kun Ning Gong servant into doing my bidding?"
Before the empress could argue against Er Tai's logic, it was clear that Ba Lang, too, understood that his mistress was throwing him to the wolves. In retaliation, the eunuch confessed everything else he had done under the order of the empress, including bribing the guards at Jing Yang Gong to put the voodoo doll in Zi Wei's bed, and future plans to track down and kill Xiao Hu, Er Kang and Zi Wei should they go on the run, to ensure they could never return to the palace.
"Huang Hou," Lao Fo Ye cried out in lamentation upon learning of these schemes, "I trusted you. I would never have thought that you could sink to these kinds of schemes!"
"Huang Shang, Lao Fo Ye, these are all your servant's doing!" Rong Mo Mo cried, falling on her knees before the empress dowager. "Huang Hou Niang Niang doesn't know about any of this! It was all my doing! Please do not punish Huang Hou Niang Niang, punish me instead!"
Er Tai and He Qi exchanged a look, wondering if Rong Mo Mo thought anyone could believe such ludicrous words. Clearly the emperor did not, as he roared, "Do you think we would not dare to punish you? You are right, these schemes are likely all born of your poisonous words! You have always been a wicked old hag and I should have gotten rid of you a long time ago! Men! Take Rong Mo Mo outside and give her twenty beatings!"
The ensuing scene of the empress letting go of all her pride and falling, terrified, to her knees to beg for mercy on Rong Mo Mo's behalf did not bring He Qi any satisfaction. She knew her father was simply directing all his rage onto Rong Mo Mo now as a way to distract himself from the bigger implications of what damage the misunderstandings around Zi Wei's identity had caused. Consequently, He Qi could only bear to watch the old woman who had previously seemed so hateful to her be beaten nearly ten times before she couldn't hold herself back any longer. She knelt down in front of her father and clutched at his wrist.
"Huang Ah Ma, Rong Mo Mo is an old servant who has dedicated many years in service in the palace. If these beatings continue, she will lose her life. Huang Ah Ma, surely these few strokes are enough of a warning. Please stop and spare her life!"
"When has she ever done you any favour? Why are you begging on her behalf?" her father snapped, jerking his sleeve from her grasp.
"Huang Ah Ma, He Qi will confess to ulterior motives. Surely, punishing Rong Mo Mo cannot be the priority right now. Huang Ah Ma, you must see now how the accusations against Zi Wei had been designed to increased your anger against her. I do not deny that our actions hurt you, but can Huang Ah Ma not also see that your decision to order Zi Wei and Xiao Hu's deaths were fuelled in part by your hurt that they might have also collaborated to deceive you about Zi Wei's identity? Now that that has been proven false, Huang Ah Ma, I beg you to reconsider your orders regarding Zi Wei and Xiao Hu's fates."
The emperor looked down at He Qi, and though it felt like she was being stabbed in the heart herself, she could not bring herself to look away to avoid seeing the hurt that radiated from his gaze, knowing that she had contributed so significantly to causing that hurt. Still, she couldn't help but heave a sigh of preliminary relief when the emperor finally shouted, "Enough!"
At this, the guards, who had hesitated to continue with the beatings when He Qi knelt down, placed their canes upon the ground.
"Get out of my sight!" he ordered in the general direction of the empress and Rong Mo Mo. Though it was slow progress, eventually, the two of them hobbled away, assisted by the empress' maids.
"Huang Di – " the empress dowager started to say, and for a moment, He Qi could feel her heart lurch in panic. While she had believed it when Lao Fo Ye had said she would speak to the emperor to be lenient with Zi Wei and Xiao Hu for He Qi's sake, whatever she did say had clearly not previously been enough. Now, He Qi found she could not predict which way her grandmother would lean, given that her own faith and trust had been so betrayed.
Thankfully, the emperor held up his hand to halt anything Lao Fo Ye had to say. "Huang E'niang, let me rely on my own counsel for now. I have had enough of meddling in my affairs."
There was another moment of silence, where no one dared to speak. Then, finally, the emperor turned to Er Tai. "Those four people," he said, jerking his head towards where Ba Lang still knelt and the three commoners from Jinan cowered in a corner of Ci Ning Gong, "are your responsibility. Keep them secure, we will deal with them later. If any of them escape, it will be all on your head, no matter who your wife is!"
"Yes, Huang Shang, your subject obeys!" Er Tai said, bowing.
He moved towards his prisoners and ordered the guards nearby to take hold of them. Before he left, he looked towards He Qi, who was still kneeling at the emperor's feet. She gave him a nod that she hoped was reassuring. The fact that the emperor did not immediately order the prisoners' deaths meant that he was now willing to think more rationally about everything that happened. This meant that there was hope yet that they might still all come out of this with their heads attached to their bodies. Er Tai hesitated for another moment, clearly wishing to say something to He Qi, but also unable to in the current company. Finally, he simply sighed and led the four prisoners away, walking close enough by her that his fingers brushed her shoulder as he passed as the only gesture of comfort he could offer her under the circumstances.
Once they were gone, the only ones left standing in the middle of the courtyard of Ci Ning Gong were the emperor, empress dowager, Qing Er, and He Qi, who was still kneeling. When the emperor just stood still for a long moment, clearly trying to shift through his emotions, Lao Fo Ye gave Qing Er a look, which made her lean down and tug at He Qi's elbow. Despite initially struggling against it, He Qi eventually allowed Qing Er to gently help her stand up.
The moment she was on her feet, it was as if her father was being snapped out of his reverie. He said, his voice leaving no doubt that it was a command, "He Qi, come with me."
"Yes, Huang Ah Ma," He Qi said, before turning and giving Qing Er a reassuring squeeze of the hand. She had to hope that the fact that her father still wished for her presence was a good sign. Extracting her hand from Qing Er, she followed her father out of Ci Ning Gong. She was glad that Lao Fo Ye did not make any attempt to accompany them.
He Qi followed her father back to Yang Xin Dian, where he walked straight into the study and sat down onto the throne at his desk. He Qi lingered at the doorway for a moment, partly trying to determine what her father wanted her to do, and partly to catch her breath as she had been struggling to keep up with her father's longer strides on the way here. Though, she thought, he probably still did slow down for her sake because otherwise she was sure she would have lost him before they had even made it half way through the relatively short distance from Ci Ning Gong to Yang Xin Dian. When her father simply sat still with his face in his hands and said nothing for a long moment, He Qi took up her courage and walked over to stand next to him.
"You have all put my head in a spin," her father finally said, sounding now deflated from all the anger that had been visibly coursing through him throughout the entire confrontation with the empress and her servants.
He Qi slowly knelt down next to his chair. He raised his head to look at her with an impossibly unreadable expression on his face. He Qi placed her hand over his, which was now lying on the armrest of the chair. "Huang Ah Ma, I am truly sorry."
Her father looked at her for a long while, before sighing heavily. "Stand up," he said.
"I'm fine, really."
"For heaven's sake, He Qi, stand up," he exclaimed, rising and walking away from his desk, towards the window, to stare out into the courtyard.
Behind him, He Qi did as she was bid and stood, quietly, looking at her father's tense back as he clearly tried to work through all the emotions that he had been assaulted with in such a short period of time.
"None of this changes the fact that you, all supposedly my beloved children, betrayed me," he said, though without any of the fury that caused him to order their deaths a few days ago. There was, instead, just pain and sadness.
"I know," He Qi said. She drew closer but did not dare to reach out and touch him. Nevertheless, she continued, "It did hurt us to hurt you, and I am so very sorry for it."
"Where are they?" her father asked.
Assuming he was referring to Zi Wei and Er Kang, she said, "I do not know."
He scoffed in disbelief.
"I truly do not know! I know they are hiding, but I don't know where."
The emperor was quiet again, but it was clear that now, his mind had returned to what to do with the children who had so painfully betrayed his trust.
"I know that perhaps we can never make up for what we have done," He Qi said hesitantly when the silence between them grew too suffocating to bear. "I know that we deserve your anger and punishment. But Huang Ah Ma, Xiao Hu had already escaped beheading, and yet he still comes back for me. Does that not mean something to you? As for Zi Wei, hasn't she suffered enough, with all the schemes plotted against her?" She couldn't help but choke back a sob. "You loved us all once, could you really bear to order to kill them again?"
Still not looking at her, her father sighed heavily. When he did not speak, He Qi knelt down again.
"Huang Ah Ma, if you still retain a shred of consideration for me and your grandchild, I beg you. Spare Xiao Hu and Zi Wei, and Er Kang for escaping from jail and stealing them from the execution route. We will bear whatever punishment you see fit, but please spare their lives. He Qi thanks you with all my heart."
At this, she kowtowed deeply and continued to keep her head bowed on her hands.
It seemed like an age later before her father spoke, and it was in a rather flat and expressionless voice that made him sound suddenly years older. It made He Qi's heart sting with regret. "You and Xiao Hu will be confined to your manor. You may go tell Er Kang and Zi Wei that they are also to be confined to Fu residence and Jing Yang Gong respectively. After that, none of you are to leave your residences nor contact each other without my permission."
He Qi's entire body shook with relief and she raised her head only to bow down again in gratitude. "He Qi thanks Huang Ah Ma for your grace."
She tried to stand after that, but she was so unsteady from emotions that she would have stumbled, if her father had not reached out to steady her. He Qi sniffled back tears as she leaned momentarily into his support.
"Huang Ah Ma," she said hesitantly after she was upright. "Zi Wei…"
She looked up furtively at him and found him staring at her impassively.
"Zi Wei had her integrity and that of her mother questioned," He Qi pressed on before she could be intimidated out of it. "It is not something she could easily overcome. I am afraid, she might find it difficult to return to the palace."
Her father's face clouded over and he turned away. "Then I care not where she goes!" he snapped. "But she should know, the palace is not a place where she can come and go as she likes! If she does not come back, then she might as well never come back!"
He Qi pressed her lips together. This was clearly a hurt that both daughter and father would both need time to overcome, and she had a feeling they could only do that with sometime away from each other. In a way, being confined and not seeing Huang Ah Ma for a while might be a good solution, but only if He Qi could persuade Zi Wei to at least come home.
He Qi left Yang Xin Dian with mixed emotions and she barely knew how she managed to get from the emperor's study to her carriage, or register the journey from the palace back home. When the carriage stopped, however, she found that both Er Tai and Xiao Hu must have been waiting for her, because the carriage door opened not to show Xiao Zhuo Zi, who had been driving the carriage, but Xiao Hu, with Er Tai hovering restlessly behind him.
She allowed her husband to help her down from the carriage, though she hardly heard his stream of impatient questions. Er Tai managed to not voice his need for information, but it was clear from the anxious way he was looking at her that he was waiting for her to answer Xiao Hu's questions as well.
"Let's just go inside first," He Qi said, feeling weary all of the sudden.
At the tone of her voice, Xiao Hu made himself stop short. "Should I call for the imperial physician?" he asked, sounding worried for her now.
She shook her head. "I'm all right," she said, leaning into his arms. "It's just been a lot lately."
The three of them went inside. During the time it took for refreshments to be arranged, He Qi managed to regather her thoughts. Over tea and sweets, she told Er Tai and Xiao Hu of the emperor's latest decision.
Er Tai buried his face in his hands and heaved a sigh of relief. "Thank Heaven!"
Xiao Hu, however, seemed less trusting. "Did Huang Ah Ma say he would not kill us anymore? What's to say that he just wants to have us all locked up today and then just order us killed again tomorrow?"
"He could do that, to be honest," He Qi said, "but I don't think he would. His feelings have been put through a hurricane in the last few days, but I think Huang Ah Ma has now truly arrived at the realisation that he can't kill any of us without also hurting himself even more. Confining ourselves and giving Huang Ah Ma the space to work through his emotions might help him forgive us sooner, rather than trying to defy him again."
He Qi didn't think Xiao Hu looked entirely convinced about her explanation, but she also remembered that he had come back to be with her, even when he thought his life was in danger. Like Zi Wei, the hurt he felt at Huang Ah Ma ordering his death would also need time to heal, and since he was going to stay with her nonetheless, she didn't think she needed to try to argue with his conflicting emotions regarding Huang Ah Ma now. Time would allow him to work these feelings out for himself. She simply rested her head against his shoulder, hoping that this would provide him with some comfort.
"What have you done with Ba Lang and the people from Jinan?" she asked Er Tai, wanting to steer the conversation from matters of their lives and deaths for now.
"I'm keeping them confined and monitored at our house," Er Tai said. "Honestly right now I trust my family's servants and guards better than I would trust palace guards. I have told Ba Lang that if he continues to cooperate with us, I will try to make sure he keeps his life. The three from Jinan are pretty spooked by everything they witnessed today, but honestly, I think they have said all they know. If Huang Shang does not wish to take their lives, and assuming Zi Wei does not wish to see them, I will probably eventually just have someone escort them back to Jinan so that we can all forget they ever existed."
He Qi nodded.
"I'm surprised that Huang Shang said you could go tell my brother and Zi Wei of the orders for their confinements," Er Tai said. "Isn't he afraid you would just leave with them? After all, the reason they're still lingering in Beijing is out of concern for you."
"I think, it's probably a test," He Qi said. "I'm pretty sure we're being watched, so the moment any of us go see them, we'll be leading Huang Ah Ma's people to them. If we obediently comply with the orders and go back to our residences to be confined, we will probably be fine. If we attempt to flee, I can't tell what will happen."
"Would we be fine if we don't try to flee?" Xiao Hu asked, clearly still sceptical. "What if this is just a way to get us all together in one place so that it's easier to catch and kill us all?"
"I have to believe that cannot be Huang Ah Ma's plan," He Qi said. "I don't think Huang Ah Ma would risk putting me in the middle of any confrontation that might occur if the purpose was simply for us to lead the guards to Er Kang and Zi Wei and arrest them for execution. If that was Huang Ah Ma's purpose, he would try and keep me out of it and maybe tell Er Tai to deliver the orders instead. The fact that he said I could go might be his attempt at trying to reassure us that we will not be harmed if we simply returned to our places and allow ourselves to be confined."
Xiao Hu didn't immediately argue against her explanation, which He Qi hoped was a good sign.
"But then," Er Tai said, "that means, we also can't not go tell them about the confinement orders. That would still be defying the orders in another way and might endanger us all. If this is a test, we have to take it."
"Yes," He Qi said with a sigh. Turning to Xiao Hu, she asked, "Are Han Xiang and Meng Dan still with the others? Would our coming to see Er Kang and Zi Wei also bring the guards down on Han Xiang?"
"No, they have left already, yesterday morning before I snuck back in here," Xiao Hu said. "We thought it was best that they didn't stick around with us and risk being caught. They haven't told any of us where they're going, so even if Huang Ah Ma does try to torture it out of us or something, we wouldn't be able to tell him anything."
"I suppose that is one less thing to worry about," He Qi said. "In that case, we probably should go see Er Kang and Zi Wei tomorrow."
Xiao Hu looked thoughtful for a few moments, before nodding in resignation, and probably with more bravado than he truly felt. "I guess this was always the plan," he said. "If we die, at least we'll all die together."
A/N: Yeah so they're not going on the run, mostly because I don't want to write blind Zi Wei again haha. Even though a lot of the canon Xiao Jian/Xiao Yan Zi/Yong Qi drama on the runaway trip annoy me, I like the idea of being thrown into the deep end for Yong Qi from a character-building point of view. When I was writing Let the Years, the runaway trip was retroactively an important foundation that gives eventual-emperor-Yong-Qi perspective that challenges his privilege. That effect of the runaway trip is slightly less necessary here, so I'm having them staying put, and having He Qi be pregnant here is more a plot reason to make sure they stay, rather than cause even more drama when running away.
The effect of staying is 1) I don't have to rehash all the schenanigans of their runaway trip, and also 2) it makes them all (mostly Zi Wei) have to grapple with their conflicts with Qian Long in a more internal/introspective manner, not helped along by all the adrenaline rush of nearly getting killed and then finally finding out oh, it wasn't Huang Ah Ma who wanted to kill us all along etc. etc.