18. my father left, my mother died
The next day, Er Tai, Xiao Hu and He Qi took a carriage towards the outskirts of Beijing to a small farm, where they were reunited with Er Kang, Zi Wei, Liu Qing, Liu Hong, Jin Suo and Xiao Jian.
While everyone else was shocked at their sudden arrival, Xiao Jian grabbed Xiao Hu the moment they saw each other. "How dare you run away like that!" he berated his younger brother. "Do you know how much you've worried me?"
"Xiao Hu came back for me," He Qi said, looking at Xiao Jian apologetically. "I've made Brother worry. I'm sorry."
Xiao Jian looked as if he just realised she was there. He sighed. "I suppose I can't blame him for worrying about you," he said reluctantly. "I was just worried about him."
"Why are you here?" Er Kang asked, stepping forward. "How did you even get away?"
"It's a bit of a long story," Er Tai said, before others could add their own questions and they end up having a conversation standing in the yard. "Let's all find a place to sit down, first."
"Yes, let's go inside," Xiao Jian said, before looking towards their host, Lao Ou, who nodded.
He Qi looked around, and saw that Zi Wei, despite having ran towards them with the rest of the group the moment they arrived at the gates, was now backing away and standing obscured behind Liu Hong.
He Qi approached her sister. "Zi Wei."
Liu Hong automatically stepped aside to make room for them to meet, but Zi Wei strangely took yet another step back, away from He Qi, and was refusing to look at her. Instead, she bent her knees and said in a hollow voice, "Ge Ge."
"What did you call me?" He Qi asked in a voice shaking with disbelief, her steps stopping abruptly.
"Huang Shang no longer acknowledges me, so how dare I disrespect Ge Ge by not addressing her properly?"
He Qi stared at Zi Wei for a long moment, feeling like she had just been slapped. Then, sniffling, she reached out and pulled Zi Wei into a tight hug. "Silly girl," she said, holding on tightly even when Zi Wei tried to pull away. "You are my sister. Even if the entire world disowns you, you are still my sister."
Zi Wei let out a sob at these words and stopped struggling. Gingerly, she brought her arms up to wrap around He Qi.
"Jiejie, you believe me?" Zi Wei asked through tears.
He Qi pulled away in order to look at her. She reached up and brushed away the tears on Zi Wei's face. "When have I not believed you?" she asked, which only made Zi Wei cry even harder.
It took several more moments before Zi Wei could regain her composure, and then Xiao Jian and Er Kang herded them all inside. Once seated, this time He Qi let Er Tai tell the group of everything that went on in the palace.
"So the aunt and uncle, and the midwife told that rubbish story because they were bribed by Huang Hou?" Er Kang asked. "Does Huang Shang now believe that they were telling lies?"
"He has not specifically said that he accepts their earlier words were lies, but there can be no doubt about it," He Qi said. "Ba Lang has confessed that he paid them to tell the lies, and Rong Mo Mo more or less confirmed it herself. So I think Huang Ah Ma does now know that all the things they said about Zi Wei's birth were all lies, he is probably just not ready to admit out loud that he had been wrong yet."
"Right or wrong, what does it matter?" Zi Wei asked, her voice full of hurt. "Just because what they said were lies does not mean Huang Shang has no choice but to believe I am his daughter. After all, if Huang Shang says their words are true, then their words are true. If Huang Shang says I'm not his daughter, then I am not. If Huang Shang says my mother deceived him, then that's what happened. What does actual truth or lie have to do with anything?"
"Zi Wei," He Qi said, feeling her heart breaking because she had never heard Zi Wei sounded quite so coldly cynical. She felt another stab of pain when Zi Wei acted like she didn't hear He Qi calling her name, and only closed her eyes, refusing to look at anyone. Thankfully, she did not pull her hand away when He Qi entwined their fingers together and rested her chin down on Zi Wei's shoulder. She knew, nothing she said now could take away Zi Wei's pain. She could only hope that with time, the hurt would heal and that the relationship between Zi Wei and Huang Ah Ma was not damaged forever.
Around them, everyone was exchanging uneasy looks, until Er Kang cleared his throat. "Even if Huang Shang does take Zi Wei to be his daughter again, it can't make him less angry about us helping Han Xiang run away," he said. "And now, we have also broken out of prison and stolen prisoners from an execution. Our crimes grow and grow. That can't make it easier for him to forgive us."
He Qi sighed and, still holding tightly to Zi Wei's hand, she spoke to the group at large. "I believe Huang Ah Ma finds himself in a muddle now with how many different turns his emotions have been put through these last few days. But his earlier decision to order the execution was spurred on by the lies about Zi Wei, and now with that torn apart, he is no longer so inflamed by anger that killing any of us can be a reasonable option anymore. He sees that Xiao Hu escaped death and still came back to be with me. Huang Ah Ma has to have at least been a little moved by that, otherwise he would not have left Xiao Hu alone, despite coming to He Hui Fu with an entire battalion of guards to arrest him. While it will take time for him to forgive us for what happened with Han Xiang, I don't think our lives are in danger anymore."
"So what, we just go back and pretend nothing happened?" Er Kang asked incredulously.
"Not exactly," Er Tai replied, before outlining to everyone the emperor's orders of house arrest for them all. He added, "Xiao Hu, He Qi and I have talked about it. We think, given how many different directions Huang Shang's emotions have been yanked to and fro these few days, the fact that he is now simply putting everyone under house arrest means that he has at least moved past the blind anger that caused him to resort to ordering death sentences. If we comply with the house arrest, with time, Huang Shang's anger will cool and there is hope that one day, even if things are not entirely forgiven, then at least it would have died down enough that we can be as before, though perhaps without as much imperial favour as before."
"Surely you don't actually think it's a good idea to voluntarily put yourselves under house arrest!" Xiao Jian exclaimed, starring between Xiao Hu, He Qi and Er Tai in disbelief. "You are all here now, isn't it better to just go as far away as possible? What good could possibly come of voluntarily walking into a cage, possibly to be killed later anyway at that Sleeping Dragon's whim?"
He Qi flinched at the anger and derision for the emperor, which Xiao Jian did not even attempt to hide in his tone. Of course, Xiao Jian had just barely managed to move past the fact that his family had died at the emperor's orders all those years ago, before Xiao Hu, his brother and only surviving relative, also nearly died the same way. Given this, it was not surprising that he would not have any faith that the emperor was capable of any mercy towards them now. She did not think she would have much success in trying to defend her father to him; it wasn't as if she didn't also know what a huge gamble this plan was, to put herself, and everyone else, at the mercy of an emperor who she knew was capable of compassion, but also equally capable of rage that could burn them all to the ground. She had to trust him, because he was her father. But she was not so ignorant as to assume Xiao Jian would be capable of accepting the same blind faith, or even willing to do so. So she did not attempt to try to explain her perspective, which would surely only be mere words to Xiao Jian right now, even though the loyalty she still had made her heart twist painfully to ignore Xiao Jian's words.
Glancing at He Qi, and realising she could not say anything to Xiao Jian, Er Tai slowly laid down the reasonings that they had discussed before about why they now had very little choice but to comply with the house arrest orders.
"And even if we were successful at running away," Xiao Hu added, voicing another reason that he and He Qi had reluctantly realised later that evening, after Er Tai had left them, "Er Tai cannot come with us. Even if he could come with us, the rest of the Fu family and Ling Fei Niang Niang are still left behind. It was one thing to try and escape an execution, we had nothing to lose then. But now that that sentence has been reduced, allowing us all to live, and if still we spurn it, Huang Ah Ma's rage would come down on the rest of the Fu family. So we can't go, anyway."
Xiao Jian's face contorted in pain and anger, as he realised that he could not argue with this logic in any way that didn't betray selfish wishes. He Qi gave Xiao Hu a sorrowful, apologetic look but he just shook his head at her. Then, looking up at his brother, he said, "Brother, when I went back for He Qi, I was ready to face anything. I don't think Huang Ah Ma can bear to hurt He Qi, so in the end, I don't think he will kill me anyway. He had a chance to, yesterday, but he didn't."
"Sure, yesterday it didn't occur to him to kill you," Xiao Jian retorted, "but what about tomorrow? The day after?"
"Huang Shang is not an unreasonable tyrant who orders people's deaths at the slightest turn!" Er Tai cried. He did not raise his voice to match Xiao Jian's volume but spoke firmly enough to show that he was not going to simply take the insult to his monarch, to whom, despite everything, Er Tai still felt enough loyalty to defend.
Xiao Jian scoffed derisively at this statement. He Qi supposed, given the way his parents died, given the limited extent of his knowledge and interactions with Huang Ah Ma, he could hardly be blamed for not giving any weight to these words.
"None of us here can deny that sneaking an imperial concubine out of the palace was a grave crime," Er Tai said wearily, "and while I cannot blame any of you for the reasons for that action, you knew you were all committing a great wrong against Huang Shang. The initial shock of it blinded Huang Shang with anger enough that he ordered the death sentences. Now that that has passed, so has the danger. Huang Shang can hardly order Zi Wei and Xiao Hu's deaths again without making himself look like a laughing stock, in any case!"
"'Now that his anger has passed, so has the danger on their lives.' How can you speak these words so easily?" Xiao Jian demanded. "So what if his anger has passed? While he was angry, he still ordered Zi Wei and Xiao Hu's deaths, and if we – you included, may I add – hadn't risked our lives to save them, they would already be dead, and what use would his anger passing have then?"
Er Tai sighed heavily. For a moment, he looked hesitant, before saying, "Would it help if I told you Huang Shang never actually meant to kill Xiao Hu and Zi Wei?"
"Were you not there with us?" Xiao Jian asked, still angry. "They sent a messenger back to ask for an order to halt the execution, and the messenger came back with an order to execute anyway."
"Yes, that was on the way to the execution," Er Tai explained patiently. "We didn't know this at the time, but a few days after the execution day, Fu Heng Daren spoke to my father, and told my father that Huang Shang had actually instructed him to wait at the execution place ready with his gold medal of command that could be used in the emperor's name to spare any life, no questions asked. So they wouldn't have died, even if we had failed in rescuing them."
He Qi looked up in astonishment at Er Tai, being unaware of this until now.
"I wasn't going to mention this," he explained off He Qi's questioning look, "because I know it likely wouldn't change the hurt that Huang Shang ordered the death sentences anyway. But now, I think it's worth knowing that Huang Shang always intended to spare Xiao Hu and Zi Wei. Perhaps he intended to retract his execution order before they were even taken to the execution grounds. Perhaps he knew that his anger could blind him to reason that he himself could end up not doing that out of anger, and so in a moment of clarity, he put in place contingency intended to spare Xiao Hu and Zi Wei's lives anyway."
"You are right," Zi Wei suddenly spoke up, but her voice was cold and unmoved by the new information that her father had always intended to spare her life, "it doesn't change anything. Whether he meant for us to die is irrelevant, it doesn't change the fact that he still ordered our deaths. He still has the power to wish us dead, no matter what the actual outcome was. In any family, disagreements between family members are normal. Children can do things their parents don't approve of. But in normal families, parents do not so easily order their children to death."
She stood up and ran out of the room before any of them could say anything in reply. Er Kang shot up and was going to go after her, but He Qi held him back as he passed her.
"Let me go talk to her," she said firmly. Er Kang looked like he would protest, but then when He Qi refused to let go of his sleeve, he reluctantly nodded.
When He Qi made her way outside, she found Zi Wei sitting on a low stone step protruding out of a wall. She quietly approached and sat down next to Zi Wei, who only acknowledged her presence by turning her tear-stained face away.
"You have every right to be angry at Huang Ah Ma," He Qi said softly. "As he has every right to be angry at us. The two things are not the same, I know, but nonetheless, it will take time for us all to make peace with what happened."
"And yet, you would still have me go back."
"I think…" He Qi said slowly, weighing each word as they came to her lips, "you must think of the future."
"The future?" Zi Wei asked, still lost in the stupor of hurt.
"If you can envision a day when your relationship with Huang Ah Ma might be salvaged at all, you cannot turn away now."
"What if I don't envision such a day?" Zi Wei asked.
"Why did you ever come to Beijing then?"
"What?"
"Why did you come to Beijing, Zi Wei?" He Qi asked, turning to look at her. This time, Zi Wei looked back, her mouth slightly opened in surprise. Perhaps, it had been many months since her sister had pondered that question. "Why did your mother send you to Beijing? If it was only to ask whether Huang Ah Ma remembers her, then wouldn't the fact that he never came back have answered that? Why did she send you, really?"
"Because…because there was nothing else for me in Jinan. No one I could count on to help me," Zi Wei answered slowly. Then, she gave a bitter laugh that sounded all wrong from Zi Wei. "My aunt and uncle have proved that, have they not?"
He Qi didn't answer, but simply stayed quiet while her sister ruminated on the question.
"I suppose, my mother must have hoped that he would accept me, and take care of me. As for me…" Zi Wei drew in an audible, rattling breath. "I had spent my entire life wondering…I wanted to know what he was like…my father…"
"You have spent your whole life wanting to meet your father," He Qi said. "Are you so ready to throw that all away now?"
"I don't know!" Zi Wei exclaimed. "I just can't forget that all it took was a moment of work, and only a few words from people he had never met, before he could overlook everything, all the love and reverence that I gave him, all the pain that I thought he understood he put my mother through…"
"There is a reason we call him Huang Ah Ma, Zi Wei. He is the emperor, first of all. It was not his authority as our father that we challenged, that your relatives challenged. It was the emperor's imperial power. I'm not saying that makes it right that he ordered your death. But as emperor, he exists on a plane that we can never be a part of, or understand." He Qi turned her head to look at Zi Wei. "But you already knew that, did you not? You told him that as he sat on high, he could not understand the simple emotions of common people. That is Huang Ah Ma's great flaw, and sometimes, if you want to maintain a relationship, you must learn to accept the flaws in the people you love."
"What if I can't?"
"Huang Ah Ma did say, you don't have to come back," He Qi said slowly. "But Zi Wei, in that case, you have to accept the possibility that he might never acknowledge you again."
"He was ready to do just that anyway," Zi Wei said flatly.
"While he was angry, yes," He Qi answered. "But Zi Wei, you are angry now, too. It is not wise to burn all your bridges under the influence of such a destructive emotion."
Zi Wei turned to stare at her. "Are you not angry? He wanted to kill Xiao Hu, without any consideration for you, in your condition."
He Qi sighed. "It is different, for me, I suppose, than it is for you and Xiao Hu. For me, growing up, he was the emperor before he was my father. All my interactions with him, all my feelings for him, have to straddle those two identities. I was hurt, that his infatuation with Han Xiang could be so great that he could overlook any concern he should have for us and order your and Xiao Hu's execution, but I also understand that it is a manifestation of the power he holds as emperor. But once Huang Ah Ma has indicated that he is ready to see beyond that great power and be more lenient, it is wiser for us as his subjects to try and move in the same direction too. To try and hold on to our own hurt might be pandering to our wounded feelings as his children but is provoking the emperor in him, which cannot be to anyone's benefits. If we want this storm to blow over, we have to give in to Huang Ah Ma in any way we can, so that it placates him enough to eventually give in to us too, in his own way and in his own time. In a situation like this, between Huang Ah Ma's pride and our own, preserving his pride is the same as preserving ourselves."
Zi Wei was quiet for a long moment. "I know you are saying all this because you care about me," she finally said, her voice less coloured by hurt now that she was speaking of He Qi. "I understand what you're saying about self-preservation. And I know…Er Kang cannot leave now, when it will endanger his family more to leave than to stay. It's just…I don't know if my feelings are so easily persuaded, at least right now. I don't know how I can return to the palace right now, and spend infinite days alone with four walls and these thoughts…"
He Qi had to admit, under the circumstances, leaving Zi Wei to stew in these negative emotions alone would not be the most conducive to healing.
"Maybe I should just go stay with the Fu family," Zi Wei said in a rush of breath. "What difference does it make now, really, when we were planning to run away anyway…"
He Qi couldn't help but let out a laugh. "You cannot be serious, Zi Wei. It was one thing to go away with Er Kang when you thought there was nothing to lose and weren't planning to come back anyway. But now, if you are staying in Beijing, you have no legitimate reason to stay at Fu residence before conducting the proper wedding rites. That would simply destroy everything you and Er Kang have worked for these past couple of years."
He Qi knew, of course, Zi Wei was likely not thinking about what she was saying at all. The words either reflected the fact that in her most vulnerable moment, Er Kang had made her feel safe and protected, or otherwise she was showing a burst of uncharacteristic rebellion in the face of Huang Ah Ma's rejection. Either way, that solution would be further loss of face for Huang Ah Ma, which would only invoke further anger.
"You can come stay with me," He Qi said. "At least that gives some plausible deniability that you are not running away from home or eloping."
"Isn't the point of putting us all under house arrest so that we cannot be together or communicate?"
"Yes, but Huang Ah Ma also said, he doesn't care where you go. Of course, he is saying this in anger. Once Huang Ah Ma's anger cools, he can hardly still publicly disown you for staying with me to keep me company while my pregnancy keep me confined to my manor, can he? It won't lose Huang Ah Ma face to use that as a reason to explain why we have not been much seen at palace events, either."
"What if by the time you give birth, Huang Ah Ma's anger still has not cooled?" Zi Wei asked.
He Qi chose not to draw attention to the fact that she had unthinkingly reverted to calling him 'Huang Ah Ma' again.
"We will figure out something else, then," He Qi said. "To be honest, I don't think Lao Fo Ye would really let Huang Ah Ma ignore us for that long."
"Lao Fo Ye would not allow him to ignore you for that long," Zi Wei corrected.
However, He Qi was relieved that after that statement, Zi Wei also did not make any further protest about coming home with her to He Hui Fu.
When He Qi and Zi Wei finally returned to the rest of the group, it was clear that a decision had been reached there, as well.
"Brother is going to go home with us as well," Xiao Hu said to He Qi.
"You are of course welcome, Brother," He Qi said, looking towards her brother-in-law. "But I thought you did not approve of this plan?"
"Of course I do not approve!" Xiao Jian exclaimed. "But if my brother is going back into the lion's den, then I can hardly allow him to go alone, can I? I probably won't be able to get any news of you from the outside, so at least if I'm inside with you and you all get yourselves killed, I can help you fight your way out of it."
"If you are all going back to your own places, then Liu Hong and I will return to Hui Bin Lou," Liu Qing said. "It will take some repairs before we can reopen for business, considering the damages whoever was looking to arrest us caused. Do you know if everyone at Hui Bin Lou is safe?"
"Oh, that reminds me," He Qi exclaimed. "As far as I know, that night, Huang Hou's men came to Hui Bin Lou looking to arrest the two of you. It seems that everyone managed to escape, except Bao Ya Tou, who was taken to the palace. She's safe now, she's been staying at He Hui Fu with me. You should probably go back with us to pick her up before going back to Hui Bin Lou. She's been worried about you."
"We will do that then," Liu Hong said, "then check on Da Za Yuan. Since all the staff at Hui Bin Lou came from Da Za Yuan, that's probably where they would have returned."
"Do you have enough money for the repairs? And to keep you all afloat in the meantime?" Er Kang asked. "It might take a while before business picks up again."
"All this money we prepared to run away with should be enough," Liu Qing said, laughing. "Don't worry about us, we will find a way. I say, you all should still be careful. Huang Shang might spare your life, but don't you have other enemies? They might even take advantage of Huang Shang ignoring you all to cause you harm."
"With the empress out of commission, we should be safe enough for now, I think," He Qi said.
With everyone more or less agreed on a plan, though with varying levels of satisfaction, they made their expressions of thanks and goodbyes to Lao Ou and his wife. Then, Er Kang and Er Tai took a couple of horses to ride home, while the carriage that He Qi had come with, and the carriage they were planning to use to go on the run with took He Qi, Xiao Hu, Zi Wei, Jin Suo, Xiao Jian, Liu Qing and Liu Hong back to He Hui Fu.
Once there, the guards clearly did not care that Bao Ya Tou left with Liu Qing and Liu Hong, but it took some convincing for them to let Zi Wei into the manor, as their instructions had been to not allow Xiao Hu and He Qi to have contact with Zi Wei.
"I will write a letter explaining the situation to Huang Shang, then you can take that letter into the palace and make your report of the situation," He Qi said to the captain of the guards. "If Huang Shang still wishes Zi Wei Ge Ge to be removed, then you can remove her. Surely this will satisfy you?"
Reluctantly, the captain agreed and hovered at the door the entire time that He Qi wrote the letter explaining to her father that it would be better for Zi Wei to stay with her for now. When she exasperatedly handed him the envelope, the captain bowed. "Forgive me, Ge Ge, but I am just fulfilling my duties."
"I know, you've been working very hard," she answered, softening a little, acknowledging that they had all been creating rather a lot of headache-inducing work for the capital's guards. Under any other circumstances, she would offer them some sort of monetary rewards, but clearly that could be too easily construed as a bribe in the current climate. "Give me back the letter, I would like to add something."
The captain gingerly handed her the letter and she hastily added a postscript.
"Don't worry," she said when she handed it back to him. "I just wanted to ask Huang Shang to acknowledge that all of you have been doing everything he commanded and to consider rewarding you."
"Ge Ge, we do not deserve such consideration!" the captain hastily exclaimed, kneeling down.
"Well, I have written it already, so just take the letter to the palace," she said. "Also, don't worry that I will use this favour as an excuse to make things difficult for you later. I understand that you are just trying to do your jobs."
The captain kowtowed profusely. "Thank you, Ge Ge, for your understanding."
The captain of the guards came back some time later and told He Qi that the emperor had agreed to Zi Wei remaining at He Hui Fu, and there she would be subject to the same restrictions as Xiao Hu and He Qi. He Qi couldn't help but let out a sigh of relief upon hearing this, as this simple agreement to their plan at least indicated that after thinking over the matter, perhaps Huang Ah Ma was beginning to accept that his anger at Zi Wei's relatives should not be redirected on Zi Wei herself. He was also not contesting Zi Wei's need for space, which could only be a good sign.
Over the course of the next few days, it looked as if that really was the last contact they would have with the palace, and as long as they stayed behind the large gates of He Hui Fu, they would be left to themselves. House arrest, in this case, was not horrible, not when they had a large manor and vast garden for their use, so they did not have to spend all their time cooped up indoors.
"I am sorry you are suffering from not being able to see Er Kang," He Qi said to Zi Wei.
Xiao Jian had taken to teaching Xiao Hu martial arts and their family's sword technique now that they had nothing else to occupy them, so that morning, the two sisters were left to themselves.
"I just want to know that he is safe. I suppose the fact that we are safe means that he should be, too, but still. It's difficult to not know for sure," Zi Wei said. "Then again, perhaps that is the point of the punishment. Wouldn't we just be too comfortable here in this world of our own if we knew everything was fine with everyone else?"
There was logic in that, He Qi supposed. She had also been trying to convince herself that surely her father wouldn't really do any harm to Er Kang right in his parents' home. Huang Ah Ma surely valued Fu Lun and the service of the entire Fu family for that. Still, it was difficult to entirely let go of all worries, especially now when they all had endless hours to their thoughts. There were only so many games and distractions the four of them could devise between themselves to occupy each other.
Of course, Hu Taiyi was permitted to come in daily to check on He Qi. But he was a veteran physician who had only lasted so long in his position due to his dedication to his job and steadfast refusal to be pulled into the scheming of the inner palace. Over the years, many a consort had tried to gain – or buy – his loyalty, because the support of an imperial physician could often be crucial to one's survival in the inner palace. They had all failed. Hu Taiyi took only orders from the emperor himself.
Really, this was the only reason He Qi now trusted his medical advice, because at least her father would not have any reason to harm her child. Of course, her child could never pose any threat to any imperial princes or question of succession, but she understood enough of the jealousies that always bubbled under the polite façade of relationships in the palace to worry that, if it were anyone else providing her medical care now, that physician might be easily bribed by an imperial consort with loyalties to the empress to harm her just for revenge, or just for their own personal satisfaction. As it was Hu Taiyi, she did not have to worry in that regard, but she could not expect him to do her any favours like bringing news in or out, either. He was there to ensure her health was in order, and that was all.
They were thus left to their own devices without any news and seemingly ignored by the rest of the world for over a month.
Then, one day, as He Qi, Zi Wei and Jin Suo were waiting for Xiao Hu and Xiao Jian to join them for lunch, Qing Er and a gaggle of palace maids carrying food boxes suddenly entered the dining room.
"What's going on?" He Qi asked, hurrying to the front of the room to meet Qing Er. "Why are you here?"
"Since tomorrow is Wu Ge Ge's birthday, Lao Fo Ye has bestowed some special dishes from the imperial kitchens to Wu Ge Ge," Qing Er said in a tone reserved for delivering orders from the empress dowager.
He Qi stared at Qing Er for a long moment, before remembering her own line within the script. She curtsied and said demurely, "He Qi gives thanks for Lao Fo Ye's grace."
As she watched the maids open the boxes and place various dishes of food on the table, she couldn't help but exchange a puzzled look with Zi Wei. After the maids withdrew from the room, He Qi reached out and take Qing Er's hand.
"The guards actually let you in?" she asked, feeling unsure of how she was supposed to read this development.
"I am here on Lao Fo Ye's orders, of course they let me in," Qing Er said, squeezing He Qi's hand and smiling at Zi Wei and Jin Suo. "I'm glad you all are looking well."
"Qing Ge Ge, what are you doing here?" Xiao Hu asked as he and Xiao Jian entered the room.
Qing Er turned to greet him, then explained the reason for her sudden appearance. Then, looking curiously at Xiao Jian standing beside Xiao Hu, she asked, "This is…?"
"Oh, this is my brother, Xiao Jian," Xiao Hu said. "Brother, this is Qing Ge Ge, He Qi's cousin."
Xiao Jian greeted her with an inclination of the head and she smiled politely in return. She, of course, had heard He Qi mention that Xiao Hu had found his long-lost brother, but not having attended Xiao Hu's birthday party, she had not met him before.
"You will stay and join us for lunch, Qing Jiejie?" He Qi asked, wanting to ask Qing Er more questions about her presence here at all. "You are not in any rush to return?"
"No, not at all," Qing Er said. "In fact, Lao Fo Ye said I should stay and get some news of you to bring back to her."
"Does Huang Ah Ma know that Lao Fo Ye had sent you?" He Qi asked, once they have all sat down around the lunch table. "The guards at the gates are working on Huang Ah Ma's orders, I'm not sure they would even relent for Lao Fo Ye's orders. Huang Ah Ma does not object to this?"
"Lao Fo Ye spoke to Huang Shang about sending some things to you yesterday. He didn't exactly say he approves, he just said that of course he could not stop Lao Fo Ye from bestowing gifts upon you. This morning, though, he did send one of his eunuchs, Xiao Lu Zi, to accompany me. It was only with Xiao Lu Zi present that the guards let me in."
"But he's still angry?" Xiao Hu asked.
Qing Er sighed. "It's honestly difficult to say. He spends considerably less time at Yan Xi Gong these days, but I can't tell if that is because he is still angry at Ling Fei Niang Niang for helping Er Kang break out of prison, or because he fears being with Ling Fei will just remind him of you all. Or perhaps he wants to avoid Ling Fei's attempts to speak on your behalf."
"Is she doing well?" He Qi asked. "Ling Fei Niang Niang?"
"She should be safe, you should not worry on that front. "With Huang Hou already disgraced for manipulating Huang Shang's emotions regarding Zi Wei, Huang Shang cannot afford to punish Ling Fei too publicly about her role in helping Er Kang escape. The inner palace is already restless with rumours and speculations about why about Rong Mo Mo was punished and Huang Hou is confined to her palace. Huang Shang needs Ling Fei to keep the inner palace in check at the moment. He is just giving her the silent treatment and only occasionally comes to Yan Xi Gong to see Shi Wu Ah Ge and the princesses. Don't worry about Ling Fei, she should be able to weather this storm."
"Qing Er, I must thank you and Ling Fei Niang Niang for everything you've done for us," Zi Wei said. "I am sorry I didn't get a chance say this to you before now."
"Please don't feel like you owe me or Ling Fei any thanks at all," Qing Er said. "This situation should not have escalated to that, and I am only sorry that we could not get you and Xiao Hu out as well, and you had to suffer that journey to the execution ground."
"Er Tai told us that Huang Ah Ma actually planned to have Sixth Uncle Fu wait at the execution grounds to save Xiao Hu and Zi Wei. Do you know if that is true?" He Qi asked.
"I don't know," Qing Er said. "But everyone's emotions were running high in those days. However angry Huang Shang might have been then, I think he misses you all now. Li Yu tells me he sometimes just goes to Shu Fang Zhai or Jing Yang Gong to just sit by himself. I asked Ming Yue and Cai Xia at Jing Yang Gong, and they told me that Huang Shang just comes and asks them to serve him tea."
"It's not like we're hundreds of miles away," Xiao Hu said, clearly torn between being moved by this story and residual anger. "If he misses us, surely he can do more than just go and drink tea at our old residences."
"I think his pride is just preventing him from admitting, perhaps even to himself, that he does miss you," Qing Er said. "Give it some more time. He will eventually want to reconcile with you."
"I hope so," He Qi said sincerely. Then, for Zi Wei's sake, she asked, "Do you know how Er Kang is doing?"
"He is still dismissed from his position as imperial guard, of course. But Sai Ya comes to visit Ling Fei Niang Niang occasionally and she says Fu Lun and Er Tai's positions don't seem to have been affected. They are still entrusted with the same types of tasks as before, so that is a good sign as well." To Zi Wei, she added, "Sai Ya says that other than worrying about you, Er Kang is doing fine. Physically, he is safe. Next time Sai Ya comes into the palace, I should be able to give her updates on your conditions, and that should reassure him a little."
Zi Wei let out a long sigh, as if she had been holding her breath all this time just waiting for this reassurance.
"I think, given that Huang Shang let me come here today, we can probably hope that he will eventually let go of his anger and release you from this confinement eventually," Qing Er said.
"Is that going to be any time soon?" Xiao Hu asked in a long-suffering voice. "I know we lack for nothing in here, but still I'm dying being cooped up like this. It wasn't even as bad as this when I was in the palace because we could still sneak out occasionally then."
He Qi was torn between amusement at Xiao Hu's exaggerated expressions and feeling rather sorry for his suffering. She reached under the table to squeeze his knee in comfort. No matter how it was supposed to be a punishment, this house arrest was infinitely harder for him than it was for her, and he had been trying hard to not complain much until now.
"Brother, I don't know why you're still here, really, since you must be missing the days when you were free to wander the world," Xiao Hu added, looking at Xiao Jian.
"You are here, so of course I must be here," Xiao Jian said simply. "I didn't spend all this time looking for you to just be apart from you now."
"Still, you must be missing the days of 'wandering the mountains and lakes with only a sword and flute in hand, let the sky be the roof and the earth your home'," He Qi said, quoting his poem.
"What a beautiful image!" Qing Er couldn't help but exclaim. "What exquisite poetry!"
Xiao Hu beamed with pride at his brother while Xiao Jian said, sounding rather uncharacteristically flustered, "Qing Ge Ge is too kind."
"You have travelled much, Xiao Da Ye?" Qing Er couldn't help but ask curiously.
"Oh he has, all over!" Xiao Hu exclaimed. Then, looking towards his brother, he added, "But perhaps Brother should tell it."
Xiao Jian seemed to hesitate for a second, but then meeting Qing Er's expectant eyes, he started speaking of his travels from Yunnan to Beijing. Soon, it was clear that Qing Er was engrossed in the stories, and even the others, who had heard some of these stories before, couldn't help but enjoy them again.
The noon meal thus drew out, and by the time they all realised they were still sat at the table, it was well into the afternoon.
"Oh, I should be going!" Qing Er exclaimed, though there was a twinge of regret in her voice. He Qi tried not to speculate whether she was sorry to leave them, or Xiao Jian and his admittedly exciting stories. "I should not have stayed this long. It's a wonder that neither Xiao Lu Zi nor the guards came in to drag me away."
Thus, Qing Er made her goodbyes to everyone, and made her way to the door, not without, He Qi noticed, giving Xiao Jian one final nod and smile, which he unthinkingly returned.
"I will see you out, Jiejie," He Qi said, taking her arm.
"Thank you for coming and tell us the news," He Qi said as she walked with Qing Er to the gate. "Please convey my thanks to Lao Fo Ye for letting you come, as well."
"Lao Fo Ye wants to know how you are faring as well. She does summon Hu Taiyi often for a report, but he can just give general comments about your health. Lao Fo Ye was anxious to know how you are actually doing. But now I can tell her that you are in reasonably good spirits as you have good company."
"Yes, we are doing well enough. The only thing we worry about is how Er Kang and the Fu family, and you and Ling Fei are after helping us all. With your reassurance, we should all rest a little easier now."
Qing Er squeezed He Qi's hand and added, "Lao Fo Ye also wants me to tell you that she did try to talk Huang Shang out of ordering Xiao Hu and Zi Wei's execution, but Huang Shang was not open to any reason at that time. Then, once he announced the order publicly, Lao Fo Ye was in a bind because she could not be seen to contradict the emperor outright. If Huang Shang was more rational, he might have considered leniency out of filial feelings for Lao Fo Ye, but in that moment, it was difficult for him to see past his hurt and anger."
"I understand." He Qi sighed. "I know how Huang Ah Ma can get in his anger, how his emotions can sometimes blind him. Please tell Lao Fo Ye that I understand she must have tried her best for my sake and I don't have any ill thoughts against her for how things nearly turned out."
"I will be sure to tell Lao Fo Ye you said that. She did not wish for you to think her promise to you were just empty words. Xiao Hu is your husband, and no matter how much Huang Shang favours you, it would have made your life very difficult if your husband and the father of your child was executed by the emperor. Even now, Lao Fo Ye is trying to tell Huang Shang that he must issue an official pardon, sooner rather than later, otherwise this will only cast a negative shadow over the child's life the longer this goes on."
"I hope Huang Ah Ma will eventually forgive us, because this anger surely cannot be comfortable for him, either. I dare not think about anything else, because whatever the consequences are on us, I cannot deny that we deserve them for hurting Huang Ah Ma like that."
"I really wasn't just trying to comfort you all earlier," Qing Er said. "I do think, right now, Huang Shang is just too proud to admit he misses you. Once he can get over that, reconciliation will come. And we all hope it comes sooner rather than later."
"We hope so too," He Qi replied, giving Qing Er a final smile, now that they were at the gate.
Qing Er smiled encouragingly back, before allowing Xiao Lu Zi to help her in the carriage waiting for her at the gate. With a final wave, the curtain of the carriage window dropped. Outside, Xiao Lu Zi jumped onto the driver's seat.
He Qi stood at the gate, flanked on both sides by yellow-jacketed guards, and watched the carriage carrying Qing Er drive away.