Chapter 8

Iris was tired, sore and slowly giving up. She had been walking for what felt like hours, her phone battery long dead, her watch on its way out as well. The determination she had built up into leaving and starting a new life was almost gone, slowly being replaced with guilt and regret. She had lost count of the many times she had to slow down or sit for five minutes. Episodes came and gone, and each one left her more drained than the last. She had to get to the cabin, though. Iris did not want to go down as the only person in history to give up after a couple of days. She was better than that.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Other Iris ran ahead slightly, turning around and walking backwards. Iris scowled at the girl, trying to pretend she was not there. Other Iris had been a pain in her backside for much of the walking. She was not out of breath; she was not sore, and she most certainly was not sweaty or too warm. It annoyed Iris to no end.

"I don't want you here. Go!" Iris demanded, determined to take up a quicker pace and out walk her. Other Iris chuckled lightly as her bottomless black eyes filled with humour.

"Yes, you do want me here. You do not want to be alone. I am you, remember. My thoughts are your thoughts, albeit a bit darker in nature." Other Iris smiled sweetly, spinning back around and falling in step. Iris walked quicker again, but she kept up like it was nothing. "You should slow down. You will burn out at this pace."

Iris turned on the girl, rage and annoyance finally overtaking the cool she had tried so hard to keep in place.

"I am sick and tired of you always telling me what to do. I do not need anyone. I want some peace and quiet. I want to get through this whole mess on my own, and if I never get back to the way I was before then… then fine. I am moving on with my life. Now if you will excuse me, I have a cabin to find!" Iris was on the verge of another breakdown. The hopelessness and emptiness, usually her companions, had been slowly fading. The space and time to think had begun to let her feel more at ease, but every time she lost it with this other part of her, it would come crashing back down. She would never get past this part of her life. She would be happy, so, so happy, if she could go back to the way things were before the incident. She would never admit to anyone how deeply the scars from the second kidnapping had affected her. The nightmares of the torture that taunted her at night. The feel of every single punch, kick, slice along her skin. The memory of the recovery. The deep ache of her heart as it longed for something she would never get. As it longed for someone she could not have. Cause the damn God was too prideful to admit he had fallen for her.

Most of all, Iris longed to forget. She did not want to remember them. How she let them down. How she could never be like them. The damage inflicted to her by HYDRA was ingrained in her soul. To the point where she felt there was no return. She was done for. This was the end of the line. She had no reason to keep going, to keep fighting. Iris was a liability, one that could cost them all.

Iris stood there, defeated. Tears running down freely. She wiped them away frantically. She would not fall apart here, in the middle of nowhere. She would wait till she was truly alone, in the comfort of the cabin. There would be plenty of work to do, in order to get up to a liveable standard. This would be her time to process, and then she would allow herself to breakdown.

"Are you ok, ma'am?" Iris turned to the voice, keeping her head low so as not to be recognised, not having seen or heard the car coming. As she looked to the driver, her heart stopped. A flash of Loki. Gone as quick as it had come… but it was not Loki. The man was almost the spitting image of him. He had short curly hair, a medium brown. His eyes, they were not as green as Loki's eyes. But it was him in everything else. That jaw line, those shoulders.

Iris realised the gentleman was waiting on a reply. "Just finding my way. Did not realise the walk was so far," she attempted humour, but it flopped a bit. The man looked at her, a look of concern on his face.

"Can I give you a lift?" he asked. Iris looked slightly over at other Iris and realised with a start she was not there. 'Of all the times she listens to me' she thought.

The man could clearly see iris' hesitation, and it seemed to confuse him more. Iris looked away. She did not trust strangers, least of all police. It could be anyone, and without Other Iris to use their powers and screen the Loki look-a-like, she was at a loss as to what to do.

"I don't know who you are, and I don't know where you've come from, but I do know this. We are a small town, but we have a lot of country land, which means a lot of walking. Now, would I be doing my duty as sheriff if I allowed a young lady to walk, in the middle of nowhere? I may hand in my badge now," he said. Iris studied him, the honest expression on his face. It was so different from Loki, the light in his eyes, the spark of humour. There was no hardness in him, none of the burdens that Loki carried round with him. It was such a difference, it was refreshing. It made her miss the God even more, though.

"Thanks, but I'd rather walk. I'm sure it is not that much further to go," Iris said, adjusting her cap. The man turned his engine off. Reaching into a glove compartment, he pulled out a wallet, and Iris could plainly see the state of Montanna sheriff's badge on it. He pulled out a photograph, showing it to her.

"This is my sister, and my niece. I am on my way to visit them. She is three weeks old… You are not the first runaway we have had here, and I'm sure you will not be the last one." Iris stared in shock, her heart pounding as her body tensed, preparing for fight or flight mode. "Baseball cap, avoiding eye contact, small backpack. Not hard to piece together. I have been doing this job a long time. I have seen it all. Long as you are not in trouble with anyone, its none of my business what you do with yourself. Just a lift," he said, putting the photo away. "I'm Sheriff John Boden. Who might you be?" Finally, Iris raised her face to look at Sheriff Boden. He could see the debate she was having, whatever was going on with her, was sure to be a story and some.

Iris let out the breath she had been holding in, before answering.

"I just need to take some… me time…" she began hesitantly. "My friends… I know they mean well, but… I just need space… Call me Iris," she finished. Sheriff Boden smiled at her, and indicated for her to get in. Climbing in with still a degree of uncertainty, Iris set her pack down between her feet, and fastened her seatbelt.

Iris thanked the Sheriff for the lift and made her way up the gravely path to the cabin. It looked as good as she remembered, and the feeling of complete solitude sang to her soul. Here, she would heal. Iris could feel the soul of the place, and it felt like coming home. She could not remember how long it had been since she had felt like this; safe. Not just safe, but alive. How quick the simplicity of a forest teeming with life, the glistening lake set out a way beyond the cabin, the peace and tranquillity of the place, seemed to sing to Iris' soul. It was a completely different pace. If Iris did not know better, she would have sworn she had died and went to heaven. This place held so many memories for her, but they were all good. No bad, nothing evil, none of the normal daily routine the Avengers had had the misfortune of living.

With a small smile, and a wave to the Sheriff's retreating car, Iris made her way into the cabin. Her first thought was how clean the place was. She was honestly shocked. There was not an inch of dirt insight, and the place smelled like fresh pine… and then Iris heard a curse. Following the direction of the noise, Iris made her way to the kitchen, and burst into a fit of giggles at the sight.

"What on earth are you wearing?!" she guffawed, leaning on the door frame to steady herself from laughing so hard.

"I was trying to be nice, mortal. But I cannot seem to sort this… strange sink contraption." Iris calmed her giggles and walked over to the girl.

"It's called a disposal. It took me ages to figure out how it worked. Here, this is the switch to turn it on," Iris said, flicking a switch behind the daisy yellow kettle. Other Iris stared at Iris, her eyes narrowing in thought. "What?"

"You have been here all of five minutes and you already look better. You even laughed. Maybe this place was what you needed after all," she mused. Iris smiled, shaking her head, and turned around. Leaning against the counter, she studied Other Iris' handiwork.

"I was not aware you could clean. In fact, I did not think you could do anything physical… explains why you disappeared, I suppose…" Other Iris moved forward, dropping the cloth she still held in her hand into the sink before sitting at the small table.

"It takes a lot of energy out of us for me to use our powers, but it is not impossible. You will find you will probably crash soon. I suggest showering, food and bed." Iris nodded thoughtfully, walking out to the living area. She had honestly forgotten how spacious this place was. It was not overly huge, but they had all fit in here at one point. The cramped space never bothered anyone though, they were family after all. 'Some family…'

Iris grabbed her stuff and headed out to small hall. Adjacent to the main entrance was a door that led to the sleeping quarters. Iris half walked, half ran to the very last door, throwing it open wide.

"Honey I am home!" She cried, as she dive-bombed on the queen size bed. She sunk into the soft mattress. It was one of her greatest pleasures in life that she had always looked forward to. Iris had made sure no expense was paid when it came to sleeping on holiday. She had the best mattress money could buy. Never had she had a bad night's sleep in this bed, so she was hopeful that tonight would be no different. No nightmares, no thinking about Loki, or Clint, or anyone else. Tonight, would be her and this bed, and possibly a good book.

Sinking that little bit further into her mattress, Iris was close to just passing out, until she felt something soft hit the back of her head. Reaching up, she pulled of the small towel and sighed, turning over and sitting up carefully. Other Iris came in, holding a few different bottles.

"Where did you even get those?" Iris asked suspiciously. Other Iris smiled a knowing smile, dumped them beside Iris, before reaching over to the wardrobe and pulling out towels. Iris studied the other girls back, noting the slight differences between the two. It was not something she did often, as she still did not understand how other Iris existed, or even why.