I awoke with a start, the Dalek voice still echoing faintly in my head. What on earth was a Dalek? I remembered the funny Doctor with the long scarf mentioning them the day that he had mysteriously disappeared. It was something that he was chasing. Or was it chasing him?

Must be some kind of outer space thing.

I had never seen the stupid tin cans before but their accusing, glowing blue eye was very clear in my mind now and I was sure that I would not be forgetting it any time soon. I stretched, every joint in my body aching with apparent lack of movement and I flexed my fingers, feeling as if I had slept a very long time. I leaned back against something hard, felt like a wall, and sighed. Tired. So very, very tired. Slowly, the sound of beeping machinery and voices grew louder and reached into my consciousness and I sat up quickly, nearly tumbling off a blue plastic chair in my surprise. I was sitting in the hospital waiting room that I had left hours ago.

"Hi Renea, glad you're awake. Did you get some rest after your run?" I heard Dad asking the question, but when I looked up to where his voice was coming from, he was walking into the waiting room through the swinging door that led behind the nursing station. Judging from the state of his rumpled clothing and hair, he hadn't been out here in the waiting room for some time.

How long had I been here sleeping? Wasn't I just in the Tardis? I didn't remember leaving the Tardis, and I sure didn't remember getting back to the hospital! Last thing I knew I had been somehow removed from the Tardis by disgruntled tin cans with strobe lights for eyes and I was being held prisoner somewhere upon pain of death because they were looking for - who were they looking for?

"Hey - dad -how long have I been - here?" I asked nervously. The feelings of fear and confusion twisted my stomach and I almost didn't hear his response. I hated the helpless feeling of reaching for a memory, but finding it completely gone and emptiness in its place.

Then it came roaring back in a painful flash of understanding. They were looking for the Doctor. My Doctor.

"Sorry, Renea, no idea." Dad's tired voice brought me tumbling back into reality, trying to hide the confusion on my face at the hundred directions my brain was taking me. "I've been back to see Grandma. All is well, the surgery was successful and she will recover. She's still not woken up though, they don't think she will wake for some time. I really hate to ask you, but would you mind if your mom and I stayed here tonight? They are only allowing two visitors, and -"

I shook my head in agreement and held up my hand placatingly. "No worries Dad, don't have to explain at all. I will head on home. I will come see her once she wakes up. Do you want me to take the car home?"

He nodded. "Please. Take it on home, and then would you bring it back tomorrow morning?"

"Absolutely. No problems at all. Get some rest and tell grandma I love her if she wakes up before I come back."

"No, you can go see her first," Dad offered, waving one hand in the direction of the ICU door, and giving me a hug with his free arm. "Wouldn't think of letting you go without saying hi. I will hang out here until you are done."

I gave him a weak smile and another hug. "Thanks Dad, you're the best!"

The drive home was uneventful. It was still dark and rainy, but if the clock on the dash was correct, many hours had passed since I had gone for my run. The green glowing analog letters read 1:35 AM. I couldn't get the image of my grandma, hovering between life and death in her white bed, tubes and wires surrounding her, dwarfing her in their massive size. I knew I would regret not seeing her if she took a dive in the night, but I couldn't stay for long and watch the machines breathing for her. I felt drained, like I had been on a long journey with no sleep. I felt alone. I felt broken.

I also couldn't get the dark, handsome doctor out of my mind. All of my childhood had been spent thinking he was a dream. Now, he had mysteriously reappeared as a dark stranger, leather jacket and all, looking like something out of a 70's film about a mob boss. Strange how things had changed. But why was he back? What was his plan, or purpose, or reasoning. I was just trying to get through life, and while I genuinely appreciated him saving my life, all the confused painful memories of the man in the blue box were flooding back, complete with cape and screwdriver.

The rumbling of the garage door distracted me for a moment as I waited for it to roll up, then carefully parked our Dodge Caravan in its place inside. I yanked the rattling keys from the ignition and climbed out of the front seat, at the same time hitting the button on the visor to close the door. I stood there in the cool garage, the only light the little bulb that comes on when the door opens and closes, trying to convince myself to walk up the steps into the kitchen that connected with the garage. The light went out on its timer, and I moved quickly toward the door, the sudden darkness urging me toward the familiar safety of home.

I wanted to be that little girl again, and sit on the white Tardis floor and tell my grey haired doctor how confused I was. How much life hurt. How alone I felt. Dreamers can dream, I suppose. I missed him, but I was also still a little angry that he had left me. He promised to take me with him. He promised to help me understand. Instead, he dangled out of my reach, a glimpse here, a moment there, but always running away, always leaving. I couldn't depend on him, that I knew for sure. Time to suck it up and be a grownup about it. You can't wait around for heroes to come and save you. That only happens in fairytales, and I was definitely not in one of those. It had been a long time since I had thought of my doctor and our trip through the stars. Frankly, they had become a vague dream in my child mind. Now that I was an adult, it was startling to realize that perhaps it hadn't been a dream at all. But it was still something that brought pain, and I didn't need any more pain right now.

All I knew for sure was that I was hungry and really tired. I had no idea how I had ended up back at the hospital asleep, but I did know that sleep was still toying at the edge of my consciousness and I was done with the day. The thought crossed my mind that I should probably report that guy for attacking me, but my black clothed knight had probably taken good care of him and I didn't expect that I would see the man again. Nor the Doctor either, frankly. He had probably dropped me off at the hospital without a goodbye, after all. I should be used to that, the sudden leaving. He had been doing that my entire life. Coming and going like a breath of air. He never really changed did he? His face, maybe, but not the part of him that made him who he was. He was still the running, flighty, mysterious Doctor. Visions of the swishing cape and the fluffy hair crossed my mind's eye again and I shoved them away. I had mourned my Doctor long enough. Life had to go on, without him and his blasted blue box.

I shoved open the door that led from the garage to the kitchen, and tossed the keys on the side table. For a moment, I stood there listening. The house was silent. Painfully silent. So silent that it ached.

My tired footsteps took me to my room where I shut the door against the rest of the house. Pulling my phone from my pocket, I hit the power button with my thumb and scrolled through the apps, searching for Pandora and clicked the station for classical piano. I had always fancied the piano and for some reason now it made me think of my doctor with the ruffled sleeves. That wouldn't do tonight. I pushed the stop button and scrolled through my saved stations and selected Disney music instead.

While the sounds of Shiny played in the background, I busied myself turning on the shower, pulling towels out of the cabinet, and looking for my random shampoo and soaps that mom always moved somewhere other than where I had left them. It was always a bit of a process to find things again after she had spent the day cleaning. I found them in the bottom of the towel cabinet in a basket with the hairdryer.

A long, hot shower later, I tumbled into bed and flipped off the light, the red numbers of the alarm clock illuminating a gut wrenching 3:30 AM. I couldn't remember the last time that my head had hit the pillow so late. I felt nauseated at the lack of sleep, and burrowed my head into the pillows. Almost immediately, my eyes closed and I felt the darkness swallow me into her welcoming arms.

"Where - is - the - doc-tor?"

I nearly leaped out of the bed in fright as the familiar, halting voice of the strange creature the Doctor called 'Daleks' filled the dark room around me. A single round blue eye glowed at the foot of the bed. Oh great. Not again.

"He-hello?" I managed to croak, fumbling for the lamp. I had to see if the thing was real or if my exhausted imagination was hallucinating. Surely there were no Daleks here? I stretched my hand a little further, grasping for the little knob on the lamp, grabbing the lightbulb, then the neck of the lamp. Where was the switch? Ah, there it was. Before I could turn it, a firm hand closed on my wrist, and another hand gently muffled the scream that inevitable escaped me. At the foot of the bed, there appeared another simple blue light. "I - sense - the time - energy- most - clearly - you have - been - with the Doctor -"

I said nothing, mostly out of fear that I was about to be murdered, and the hand that covered my mouth moved and laid one finger against my lips in a silent motion indicating to remain silent.

"You - will -tell - us - where - he is - or die-"

I felt the person next to me move, and I immediately felt for the lamp. I couldn't seem to find it but didn't need it after all, as a sudden buzzing sound roared through my room, along with a frazzled "The - Doctor- is here- the Doctor is here!" A loud explosion followed, along with a brilliant flash of blue light. I scrambled for the light and finally my fingers grasped the neck of the bedside lamp again. Turning on the switch, the bulb illuminated my room. All was as it should be. There were no Daleks, no exploded bits of tin on the floor of my room. There was no damage, no sign of anyone having been there. Worst of all, no Doctor.

Bitter tears sprang to my eyes, and I clenched my teeth together to avoid screaming angrily at the blue ceiling. He had been here. I knew it. Somehow, he had been here. Which version, I wasn't sure. Maybe it was a new version. But somehow, one of the Doctors had come to save me from the Daleks. That I knew for sure. I also knew that he had gone again.

Pulling the covers up over my head, I left the light on. I didn't want to see any more blue eyes in the darkness. The clock ticked on the table nearby, counting off the hours. I pressed the blanket tightly to my face, feeling every wrinkle and seam creasing into the skin on my forehead. I was alone. As always. And still so tired.

A gentle hand rested on my head, and I screamed, throwing off the cover, and scrambling across the bed, putting as much distance between me and the figure that I could. It took me a moment to recognize the wide smiling face, the fluffy white hair, and the sparkling blue eyes. He looked slightly amused at my appearance, which I am sure was comical. The static of the blanket had my hair sticking out in all directions, and my face was probably a mess from the angry tears. But the amusement faded quickly as I did not greet him, and his faced creased in concern. "Renea?"

I had dreamed of this moment. For years I had imagined what would happen if my Doctor came back for me. I had imagined throwing my arms around him, burrowed in the fluttering cape, hearing his chipper laugh above me that would make his blue eyes sparkle. But in the actual vivid moment, I felt as if it were merely my imagination, my longing was simply teasing me, a fancy of the nighttime that had brought him back and if I dared to touch him, he would fade like so many dreams had before today.

"Come, my dear, what is it?" he asked, concern darkening his face. I could only shake my head and let the tears fall.

He moved closer, his long arms reaching my way, cape fluttering just the way I remembered.

"Come, tell me." He spoke again, his voice a bit nearer. "The Daleks are gone, they can't hurt you now. I promise."

The word promise snapped something inside, and I let the years of frustration form themselves into words.

"PROMISE? You promise? Like all the other times? You left, Doctor, you left me! Nothing changed, nothing ever changed. You showed up to intrigue me a time or two, and promise me hopes and dreams, and a chance that things beyond my circle were better, but did you stay? No, you never did, you were never there!"

He was silent for a moment. There was a slight downcast expression forming in the wrinkles on his old face, and something in me was sorry I had shouted. I sank to the floor, the cover falling into a heap, and the chill of the room bushing across bare arms. It was cold, but I didn't notice. I laid my head down on my knees, not daring to look into the ancient eyes again. He had come back. My gentle old doctor had come back. And I had yelled at him. Nothing was going right.

"Renea, listen to me."

He spoke much more firmly than I had ever heard him speak, and I sensed the black clothed doctor in his voice as he stood there, cape hanging around him like a shadow.

"Listen to me and listen well. What did I tell you when I first left you?"

I thought hard, my overwrought brain aching at the idea of recalling something so long ago. I shook my head.

"Think," he spoke again, firmly.

I shut my eyes tightly, and my mind went back. Way back. "You - you said a - lot of things -" I murmured, trying to sort through the random bits and pieces that floated in and out of focus.

He smiled slightly, although I didn't see it and tilted his head to one side in amusement. "What did I say about being hopeful?"

Promise me that no matter what happens, you always stay hopeful

"Yeah," I replied. "You - you did say that."

"And didn't I say something to the effect of 'You can not run from your problems, Renea'?"

"That was the second time," I frowned up at him, and this time I saw the amusement on his old face, and I couldn't help but return a small smile. He looked just as I had remembered him.

A chill of anxiety swept over me as he knelt suddenly, just out of reach, crossing his legs to sit comfortably on the floor with me.

"I told you that no matter what anyone does that is unkind or cruel, or simply something you don't understand, always remember to be kind. That goes for being kind to Time Lords too, you know."

Guilt gnawed at my stomach, and I nodded wordlessly. He chuckled. "Bit of fire still there, though. I like it. You really haven't changed. Gotten a bit older, maybe, a bit wiser, though that's questionable."

I knew he was speaking of the incident in the alley, and I wondered how on earth his new regeneration was able to tell his old one this information. I wasn't sure I could understand it if he tried to explain it so I just gave him an embarrassed smile. He chuckled.

"Do I get a hug for coming all this way or are you going to sit there shivering like a mouse?"

I relented, knowing his words were true. He let me wrap my arms around his waist and his lanky arms settled comfortably across my back. His cape fell around is, its smooth satin warm against the chill of the night.

"I missed you," I whispered.

"I know." He rested his chin on top of my head, a familiar comforting offering of his security. "We made a mistake, Renea."

"We did?" I raised my head to look up at him in concern. "Why, what did we do?"

"We met." He replied simply, but there was no regret in his tone. Simply sadness. Pure, lonely sadness.

"I don't think that was a mistake," I replied, settling back into the embrace. He shifted slightly to lean back against the tall bed.

"What we feel like and what is are two different things," he replied, and I nodded. He was right.

"You are the best mistake that's ever happened to me." I meant that with all of my heart, and he chuckled again, a deep rumbling in his chest.

"Renea, tonight was a gift. I - I came in this form because you needed it. Because there was - so - so much - you needed. I am truly sorry about the way things have gone for you on this planet, but remember, this is your world, your life. It isn't something that just goes away because you don't like it. I won't always be here to save you from every jogger that sits down beside you. You have to stop depending on dreams and wishes to save you and stop wasting so much time feeling broken for what you can't have or don't have. Embrace what is right in front of you."

"Like you?" I asked mischievously, and had I been looking up I would have seen the blush that crossed his face.

"No, Renea, no not me, please focus for a moment," he pretended to grumble. "The opportunities, the chances, the goals that are right there, waiting for you to reach out and take them. You have it in you, I know that you do. But you have to believe that you have the power to make a difference on your own. Fantasy's and fairytales won't give you that. You have to let them go and look inside your heart. You were born with the strength to make it, whether you feel it or not. Stop listening to people around you who are wallowing in their own failed fairytales. Go out and make the blasted world better because there's a Renea in it."

I knew he was right. But that meant he might never come back once I was self-sufficient and doing this life thing on my own. Could I do it? Could I really, truly do it without him?

The telepathic time lord sensed my thought and smiled kindly. "I will always be there, somewhere. But don't look for me. Don't wait for me. Live your life. I will be there when you least expect it. Until then be very good, and be very kind."

This story may end here, but if anyone wishes to see a sequel, or more Doctors, then feel free to reach out, suggestions are always appreciated!