AN: This chapter has a slight(maybe big depending on how you look at it) AU moment. My muse just wouldn't let go of it. Also I hope everyone has a fun and safe holiday weekend! On Sunday I will be celebrating my mom's birthday!

-UNSECURE LOCATION- CENTRAL PARK

DATE: 7/6/2013

TIME: 11:11:23

Finch sat on the park bench, Carter beside him. She had her hands clasped in front of her and head bowed. Harold knew this day would come. He knew it and tried to prepare the detective but she had insisted on learning the truth after they nearly hadn't been able to save Cal in time. Since, it had been smooth sailing, until now.

"I have to tell Cal something," she spoke finally, lifting her head to peer at him. "Getting Alonzo Quinn was huge. HR is scattered now, broken beyond repair, but Cal has questions."

They worked their number and found out Beecher's godfather, Alonzo Quinn, was the head of HR, and now her boyfriend wanted answers on where she got her information.

"You can't tell him about the machine, the numbers, or about us," Harold rushed to stipulate. Not telling Detective Beecher about the machine and numbers was to protect his life. The other was to protect theirs.

Her lips thinned. "You want me to lie."

Harold shifted to give her his full attention. "It has to be this way. When you asked for the truth, we asked you if you would be able to accept the consequences of knowing…this is one of them. Cal Beecher must never know about us or what we do."

Her eyes closed. "I didn't think this would be so hard. Being in the dark was easier because then I wouldn't be lying to him."

"Do you regret knowing?"

She looked at him. "No, I don't." her answer sincere. Joss looked reflective. "I'm honored that you and John could trust me enough with the truth. It just makes having an open and honest relationship with Cal difficult."

Harold nodded. "It is quite difficult," he acknowledged. "But I'm sure if there is anyone that can handle it, it is you."

A rueful half-smile made its way onto her pretty face. "Thanks for the pep talk. Shaw didn't seem the appropriate person to go to for this particular job."

Harold nodded in absent agreement. Perhaps if the detective wanted to know which new gun was on the market then Miss Shaw would be the right person. But he was curious. "May I ask: why did you not seek out Mr. Reese's counsel?" he questioned.

Harold knew the detective and Mr. Reese were growing closer, or rather, as close as they could with John keeping everyone at an emotional distance. He had his suspicions on John's evolving feelings for the detective, and was concerned she realized it as well. Nothing would come of the budding feelings and Harold didn't want any undo tension between the two. Mr. Reese knew that Jocelyn was in a relationship with another man, and even if she was single, and Mr. Reese did harbor romantic feelings…John wouldn't ever act on them. Sadly, the low opinion John held himself at, even if Harold didn't agree with it, would stop him.

"John would have said pretty much the same thing you did. Except you don't feel guilty telling me it, John would have. He has enough guilt on his shoulders to last a lifetime, and I'm not about to add to it."

Harold relaxed. The detective understood John in a way not many could. He then stood and Bear rose as well. Harold looked down to where the detective sat. "In that we very much agree. Maybe one day, Mr. Reese will learn to forgive himself."

The detective's lips lifted in a wisp of a smile. "I hope so," she murmured faintly.

Harold nodded sadly, because they both knew that day surely would never come. With that, he turned and limped away.

-UNSECURE LOCATION- NEAR QUEENSBORO BRIDGE

DATE: 7/16/2013

TIME: 16:00:58

There was something wrong. Carter was evasive and short. She was conveniently out of touch. Any time John tried to get a hold of her the call went unanswered, or she told him she was too busy to help and to talk to Fusco. The brush off wasn't typical. Recently, he acknowledged that his feelings for Joss had changed, and accepted they'd be nothing but friends. John should have known falling for Carter was inevitable; she was like a soothing balm for his wounded soul. Friendship was enough though because she was, at least, in his life. But she couldn't possibly know the truth; he buried his feelings in the deepest and most hidden part of himself, so they would never surface to make him want things he had no business wanting. So that couldn't be the reason for her sudden distance. And he didn't remember breaking any laws in front of her, so his illegal behavior couldn't be the culprit either.

John sat in his car alone, watching his lovely detective. Joss rested against the hood of her car, arms crossed, and expression tight. He never felt wrong surveilling her. Carter was someone he cared about and he had to make sure she was safe by all means. Right now he felt as though he was intruding, like he shouldn't be here. But if she wouldn't tell him what was the matter than he had to find out on his own. And there was something wrong. Her body language spoke of it.

He watched sharply as another car pulled up. His brows lifted as he saw Harper Rose, or as she posed to be, exit. They had just finished working her number. She was a young con artist that had gone after the wrong target, and had needed some rescuing. He had last seen Harper this morning. She then slipped away in the crowd after a short talk about being a better person. Carter was brought in to help work her number and didn't say or do anything to suggest that she knew the young con. However, it was after they initially had Carter look into Harper that John noticed the difference in Joss. Nearly immediately after she became too busy to help and referred them to Fusco.

After a minute of internally battling with whether or not he should listen in, he quietly turned Carter's microphone on her phone to hear their conversation.

"Hey, big sis!" Harper greeted, with an exaggerated cheerfulness.

Surprise landed in his gut much like a punch. Carter not only knew Harper but was related to her. Come to think of it, back when they first worked Carter's number thanks to Elias, they had known she had a younger sister, Jaelyn. But as their relationship evolved from cop and criminal to colleagues to friends, not once did Carter ever mention her sister. Taylor and her mother were gushed about, adored. Her sister was a ghost. Or perhaps a con artist that Joss was embarrassed by.

"What the hell are you doing, Jaelyn?"

"I go by Harper now, Joss. It has a better ring to it." Harper's voice was cocky. There was a slight pause, before a heartfelt "How's little man?"

"Not so little anymore which you'd know if you bothered to ever see him," the answer was terse and angry. But John heard hurt in Carter's taut voice too. It made his insides clench at her pain. "And don't change the subject, Jae. What kind of trouble have you gotten yourself into?"

"Nothing that you need to worry about, Joss. I had this tall drink of water help me out with his little geeky friend. I'm fine, honest."

"Jae, you're a damned con-artist. If mama knew you'd be breaking her heart."

"So don't tell her," Harper replied, voice dry.

Carter scoffed. John's finger hovered over the mute button but couldn't seem to actually press it. He wanted to know more about Joss's personal life, aside from what he already knew. "Like I would tell her I saw you, to hurt her even more. One day, Jae, or Harper, whatever the hell you want to be called, you'll regret not seeing mama. You'll regret pushing her and me away."

"You act like I don't already,"

That seemed to anger Carter. "Then fix it! Come home, face the music, and grow the hell up. I've missed you, Jae, but I will not let you hurt me again, or mama."

"I love you, Joss, but I can't do that. Not yet, not with my life as a mess," Harper's voice wobbled ever so slightly.

"I love you too." Carter seemed sad. "Let's hear it."

"Hear what?"

"Goodbye." Carter was curt. "That's what you're good at isn't it, Jae? Goodbye and so long."

The two women were quiet as they faced each other. Both looked stiff as a board, and anyone seeing them from afar would think they were adversaries and not related. This certainly wasn't the first time they fought. And even from this distance he could see the twisted agony on Carter's face. The fact that her sister was a stranger to her, tormented her.

"I'll try this instead: see you soon," Harper said quietly.

"I'll believe it when I see it. Just…be careful, Jae."

"I will," Harper replied as she shifted then flung her arms around Joss. John smiled a little. "I love you, Joss."

"Love you too, baby girl," Carter sounded rough but didn't reciprocate the embrace.

Harper pulled back and stepped towards her car then paused. "Do me a favor, Joss."

"Don't ask me to tell mama because I won't."

"Give my nephew an extra kiss, for me," Harper said instead.

"Go before I decide to arrest you," Joss ordered.

John muted the conversation then as he watched the two women hesitate before Harper finally climbed into her car and drove away. He slowly climbed out of his and headed over to where Joss rested against her car's hood, head bowed.

He knew she didn't hear him. She didn't look up or speak. John quietly used it to his advantage as he scanned her face now closer to see the lines of anguish. And the tears that ran down her cheeks, one after the other. Her pain was now his, but he shied away from the implications of that.

"Why didn't you tell us that Harper was your sister?" he asked, in way of letting her know of his presence.

Her eyes opened and straightened from the car with a heavy glare his way as she rubbed away the tears. "Seriously, you still have my phone bugged and spying on me!" she snarled. He arched a brow at that. She made a face. "I should have turned my damn phone off."

"You were upset," he replied, excusing it. "I wanted to know why."

Carter stared at him, then relaxed and sighed heavily as she averted her eyes. "I'm sorry, John. I'm not really mad, not at you." She sounded tired. "I didn't tell you guys because I had to process it for myself. I hadn't seen Jae in two years."

"The machine never told us Harper's real name."

"Probably doesn't know it." Joss replied shortly, the anger that came and went was back.

John leaned against the car beside her. "Want to talk about it?"

"Not really," she let out a bitter laugh.

He nodded. "Okay."

She looked at him then. "Just okay?" she demanded, voice held an edge to it. "You don't care if I share with you or not."

This felt like a trick question. "I care about you, Carter, which is why I even followed you here. I could tell something was wrong. But if you don't want to tell me, that's fine. Just know if you do want to, I'm willing to listen."

She seemed to digest that. "How about we strike a deal?" she said, making him furrow his brows in question. "I'll tell you about Jae when you're ready to tell me about Jessica."

His breath seized in his chest and Joss immediately grabbed his forearm. "Yes, I'm manipulating the situation and possibly because I'm angry and hurt right now, John. But you leave me so very little options to help you."

"Why does it matter?" his voice sounded hoarse even to his ears.

"Why does it matter to you about me?" she asked instead. John sucked in a ragged breath. She had no clue, no damned clue what she meant to him. And trying to articulate that was like trying to speak a foreign language he didn't know.

So instead he said, "I'll go now. Call me if you want to talk about it, Carter."

A flash of disappointment crossed her face before it was gone and she nodded curtly. "Call me if you want to talk about her, John." she replied evenly.

They were at a stalemate with no end in sight.

-SECURE LOCATION- DETECTIVE'S CARTER HOME

DATE: 7/23/2013

TIME: 20:35:11

Joss put the plates into the sink to do tomorrow. She turned and welcomed the soft kiss from Cal. Tonight was date night even if she was a bit distracted. Her friends were working a new number and one that seemed to be troublesome. It wasn't unusual that she went days without speaking to them but it was highly unusual that her call went unanswered from John. He always took her call even if he was in the middle of kneecapping some bad guys.

It was a week since their conversation at her car about Jae and Jessica. John gave no indication that it even happened and so she took his cue, and they fell back into their easy friendship and banter. She longed to tell someone about her sister but she wouldn't until he told her about Jessica. John was a former CIA agent so he knew it was emotional blackmail but she needed to try something else to help him move on. Being a constant in his life was working well enough but it wasn't propelling him forward. And she wanted that for him.

Now her call went unanswered and it made her worry that he was injured and needed help. If only someone would call her back!

"Hey, you okay?" Cal asked as he rubbed her shoulders and drew her from her thoughts. His hands slid from her shoulders down to take a hold of hers. "Something seems to be upsetting you."

She forced a smile. "It's nothing, just a work thing." It wasn't entirely true but the closest she could say without fully lying.

"Can I help?" he offered.

Joss shook her head. Instead of waiting to see if he'd question her further, she turned and held his hand to lead him out to the living room and sit on her couch. They could watch a movie or something. Lately, she noticed a rapid decline in their sex life and it was her fault. Their relationship was comfortable, stable. But also, often times, placed on the backburner behind work and the work with her friends. Sex was so last on her list.

"What movie do you want to watch?" she asked the moment they were seated.

"Can we talk instead?"

She glanced at him, the seriousness palpable in his voice. "Of course, what's up?" He looked away, seemingly collecting his thoughts before wanting to speak. "Cal?"

He met her eyes finally. "I know a few months ago we agreed to not talk about where this was going and enjoy the moment and each other, but I think we should have that conversation now."

"Okay," she hedged. Joss couldn't fully pinpoint the exact reason why she never wanted to have this conversation but she still didn't. Immediately upon hearing that he wanted to talk about their relationship and future together had her internally tensing up. "I think we're in a good place."

Cal smiled. "We are. I just want to know if we have a future together."

"I don't have a crystal ball, Cal."

"I'm not asking you to see into the future. I'm asking you if this relationship means half as much to you as it does me because I'm in love with you, Joss," he said, sounding sure. She sat in stunned silence, feeling trapped. Good lord, why did she feel such a way at hearing someone's declaration of love? "Judging from your look, the feeling isn't mutual."

Joss got to her feet. She always thought better when standing. Did she feel the same? No, that much was clear. She cared about him, liked him quite a bit, but she wasn't at the love stage. How could she be when they spent less and less time together, and she had to lie to him at every turn?

"No, I'm not there," she finally answered, facing him.

"Do you think you ever could?"

That was a pointed question but one that deserved an honest answer. "I don't know, maybe. I'm sorry Cal but I need more time."

"Of course, Joss, I know this is your first relationship since your ex-husband, but I just couldn't keep going on without telling you how I felt. You're an amazing woman and I want us to have a future together."

She tried to quell the unease she felt. "You asked me if this relationship means half as much to me as you and that I can assure you that it does." And she was going to put it first but to do that required some soul searching.

He smiled now and pulled her close to kiss her. Joss closed her eyes and kissed him back feeling turbulent, and worried that she was lying to him and herself.

AN: I felt as though Cal really did like Joss, so this is me trying to be nice. Thank you for reading!