-SECURE LOCATION- DETECTIVE CARTER'S HOME

DATE: 9/02/2013

TIME: 19:35:56

Cal was late. Some part of him had a bad feeling about tonight with Joss. Their relationship felt like it was teetering for the last few weeks. Now as he stood on the other side of her door, hesitant to knock, the bad feeling only grew stronger, like this was the last time he would be seeing her. It was probably paranoia but he simply couldn't shake the feeling.

He knocked and she answered almost immediately, as though she had been waiting, reminding him he was late. "I'm sorry I'm late," he apologized, bending to press a kiss to her lips but she turned her head last second and he kissed her cheek instead. That bad feeling only grew.

She stepped back to let him in. "It's okay," her reply was soft. She closed the door behind him and he turned to face her. "We should sit down."

There it was. It was a sign, an omen that the bad feeling he was experiencing was genuine. Cal thought it would hurt more but their relationship had ended a while ago. They were just going through the motions, not wanting to acknowledge it. He didn't want to let her go, let this love he felt go. Joss, he supposed hadn't wanted to hurt him, because she was a good person. But he'd let her see this through because he wanted to know, he wanted to know why she couldn't love him back.

Cal sat. "Okay, what's wrong Joss?"

She sat beside him and he could see regret in her dark eyes. "I think we need to stop seeing each other, Cal." Her voice was gentle but serious. One of the things he loved about Joss were that she didn't shy away from hard conversations, and she didn't shy away from her convictions. There was no swaying her or convincing her that they could figure this out.

Pain of a love unrequited filled his heart. He nodded. "May I ask why? Did I put too much pressure on you? Did I do something to upset you?" That was his fear. That he had done something to drive her away even unwittingly. Joss wasn't very forthcoming about her ex-husband and he had hoped he hadn't reminded her of him.

"No, no, no, Cal, you didn't put pressure on me and you certainly didn't do anything to upset me."

Joss was surprised, almost dismayed at him thinking it was his fault. The fear abated a bit but not entirely. "Then why?" he asked, scared to know but needed it too.

Her eyes dropped to her hands that were clasped in front of her. "Honestly, at first, I didn't know why we weren't working. I couldn't understand why I wasn't falling in love with you. You're a great guy, who is very caring and understanding, the perfect gentleman," she murmured, then looked up to meet his eyes. "You're a great man, Cal."

"But…"

She let out a shuddering breath. "But I think I'm in love with my friend." Her gaze fell again to her hands that she wrung together. "I think I always was but never realized it. I probably would never have realized it if he hadn't gotten injured and I almost lost him."

Then she lifted her head and looked his way, tears shone bright in her eyes but didn't fall. "I'm so sorry Cal; I can't knowingly stay with you when I want to be with him. It's just not right. I don't know if it will work out with John. I don't even know if he's going to be willing to forego our friendship for something more but it's not fair to you to continue a relationship when I want someone else."

Oddly, knowing she was in love with someone else made it easier because it wasn't about him. They didn't stand a chance when he loved her and she loved another. "Will he take care of you?" he asked quietly.

She nodded. "John would die to protect me," there was such conviction in her voice that he believed her.

They sat quiet. He bowed his head feeling a mix of emotions. They were all there. Sadness, anger, relief, everything, and then he slowly stood. "I think I should go now, Joss."

She stood then too. "This isn't how I thought it'd go for us, Cal, but I do hope you find someone that makes you happy."

"Me too."

"Take care, Cal."

He smiled a little. "You too, Joss; I hope you end up happy."

It was surreal; as he exited her place, they really just broke up, more amicably than he thought. Maybe it was because it felt over for a while now. Maybe it was because Joss really was a special woman, someone who he only wanted the best for, even if it wasn't him. But he was looking forward to the next chapter of his life as he learned to let go of his love for Joss, and possibly meet someone who could love him as much as he loved her.

-UNSECURE LOCATION- LYRIC DINER

DATE: 9/5/2013

TIME: 7:11:02

John sat in his car, outside of Lyric Diner. Carter asked him to breakfast to talk. Dr. Tillman had cleared him to work numbers again. He hadn't seen Carter since that morning she stopped by before work, where he foolishly kissed her. He never should have given into the impulse. She probably wanted to discuss it and let him down gently. But she wouldn't need to because he knew that friendship was all they could share.

He climbed out, determined to get this conversation over with so they could just focus on forgetting it happened. He entered the diner and found her waiting, much like when he first saw her after Snow had shot at him, and not being very patient about it. John walked up to her, taking note of the way her eyes slid over him as he approached. He couldn't read her expression.

John sat down in the booth opposite of her gingerly, still experiencing twinges of pain. While he was going to be stuck with a chaperone working numbers, at least he could work them once more.

"Good morning, Carter," he greeted.

"No."

He blinked in response. "No? It's not a good morning?"

"It is since you agreed to have breakfast with me," she assured him. He furrowed his brows, not sure what to make of that comment. "But I meant no more calling me Carter. I prefer Joss from now on when we're by ourselves. I can be Carter when our friends are present."

John was at a loss. He always called people by their last names because it kept the friendships neat, distant, and easy. He eyed her with uncertainty. "Alright, Joss…" he acquiesced hesitantly.

It made her happy. The pleased look in her eyes and face showed it. The waitress appeared coffee and two plates full of a smorgasbord of breakfast items from sausage, bacon and eggs, to pancakes and waffles. John watched as the waitress dropped a few extra napkins on the table and then wished them a good meal, and cheerily walked away.

Carter's—no, Joss's—eyes twinkled. "I took the liberty to order for you. They had a breakfast special and I couldn't resist. Hope you don't mind."

Quietly, they set about beginning their meal together, and John lifted one eye to watch her. She didn't give any indication of anything amiss as she smothered her pancakes with syrup. He still couldn't tell what she was thinking, and didn't know what to think about the fact that she no longer liked him calling her Carter. What did that even mean?

Apparently, she didn't seem to care about the elephant in the room because she bit into her pancakes and John watched as her tongue swiped over her bottom lip to collect the syrup that clung there. "What do you want to talk about, Joss?" he asked, well, blurted was more accurate. But he needed to shift his attention to anything aside from her mouth. "If this is about what happened the other morning, it's not necessary."

Her face gave nothing away. "It's not?"

"No. We're friends and that's it."

"Is it?"

John frowned. Since when did Carter speak in two word replies? "Yes?"

"Are you asking or telling me?" she murmured as she picked up her coffee mug and took a sip all the while watching him those dark eyes over the rim.

"Carter—"

She shook her head. "Joss, remember," she interrupted, cleanly.

"Joss." he amended, she set her cup down with a nod of approval. "What happened was a mistake."

"Was it?"

John exhaled exasperated. "Could you stop speaking in two word sentences?"

"Could you stop ignoring how we feel?"

Did she say 'we'? No, he had it confused. "Joss you're seeing someone."

"That fact didn't seem to bother you when you kissed me," she replied casually.

John felt out maneuvered and he wasn't sure how he felt about it. They ate more of their breakfast as he debated about their conversation so far. After a moment he decided to restart, "Joss, we're friends."

"Are we?" she asked. He exhaled roughly and she chuckled. "I'm not trying to only speak in two word sentences."

Alright, he'd give her that. "I know that you are in relationship with another man. The kiss should never have happened."

"Yet it did," she was maddeningly reasonable. "You should know, John, that I ended my relationship with Cal the other night."

Did Carter end her relationship with Cal because of him? John was wary of the feeling that caused deep in him. No, it was wrong. Cal was better for her than he ever dreamed of being. "Why?" he asked gruffly.

"He isn't the man I want to be with."

There was no mistaking what she meant there. "Carter, he's the better man for you." he felt desperate now. Carter ended her relationship, was hinting at having feelings for him, and the fear of fucking up one of the only relationships he valued was terrifying. Joss Carter meant everything to him.

"I decide that, not you or anyone else," Joss replied sharply, then softened as she reached out to rest a hand over top his. "I still haven't heard a valid reason why we shouldn't explore these feelings between us." He stared at her with a level of surprise and her eyes turned kind. "You're a good man, John, why can't you see that?"

"Carter…"

"Keep calling me Carter and you'll regret it later," she vowed, darkly. John met her gaze and her eyes were gleaming. He shifted as he felt his groin react thinking of all the ways Joss would get even. The air seemed to thicken between them as it crackled with awareness. "Let's have dinner tonight, and I'm talking a real date, John. But at my place so we can be alone and figure this out."

"I can't tonight. I'm helping with the new number." No, what was he doing. He should be saying not tonight or any night, they were friends. They didn't need to figure this out. Friendship was less scary than a romantic entanglement that he'd only screw up.

"Okay, tomorrow night then." Joss wasn't deterred. Her elbows rested on the table and she laced her fingers together, her eyes calculating. "I make delicious Thai." he arched a brow in response to that statement. A grin broke out. "Okay, so I call and have delivered a delicious Thai." Helpless to do anything but, he laughed. She seemed happy by it. "Give in gracefully, John, I won't take no for an answer."

"It's just dinner, Joss."

"Call it whatever makes you happy," she quipped, smile filling her beautiful face.

John shouldn't find a smug Joss Carter sexy but he did. He found everything about this woman sexy, right down to her straight-as-an-arrow moral compass. And that was a problem.

AN: All I can think of when John tells Joss it's only dinner is Root telling John how adorable he is thinking it's just dinner. LOL

Thank you for reading!