The next morning, I submitted my documents to the royal scribe and joined Dimitri and his other advisors for breakfast. We had our usual morning meeting, followed by another briefing on the war front, and then some military recruitment discussions. Then we had lunch and proceeded to our afternoon meeting.

The royal scribe passed around copies of my first plan, while I stood in front of the meeting table full of nobles.

"This is my military strategy," I said.

"Plan A?" Dimitri said. "What's plan B?"

"I'll get there, Your Majesty. Plan A is to not fight this war and to attempt to broker peace."

There were murmurs throughout the room that I barely caught glimpses of.

"Again?"

"Look how that went last time."

I cleared my throat, and the room quieted. "First, we've already started on a peace treaty. If we communicated with Lady Edelgard and Lord Claude, we could bring the war to a pause and meet up to continue what we started."

"The Empire clearly doesn't want peace though," Cornelia said. She was the advisor of public health, Arianrhod's commander, and a well-known mage in the Kingdom. She was also wearing a red, low-cut outfit of feathers and thin cloth that reminded me of Kronya's peculiar style.

"Yes, you weren't… awake, but the Empire has attacked us even during these peace talks," Rufus said.

"But we're assuming that that was the Empire's doing, specifically Edelgard's orders," I said. "Let me start by saying that Lord Arundel did stab me and kick me off a cliff. But he didn't do that because Lady Edelgard told him to. He wanted me out of the picture, because he wants the war to happen. Lord Arundel is in a position of power where he could order an attack on Kingdom grounds, and no one would question him if Edelgard wasn't around."

Cornelia scoffed. The corner of her lips twitched into a smirk. "That's absurd. You're suggesting that Lord Arundel is undermining his own niece's authority?"

I tried not to glare at her. "Sometimes, those who are closest are also the most distrustful."

Dimitri clasped his hands together and said, "Even if what you say is true, it's too late for peace, Byleth. The Empire has slaughtered thousands of our soldiers. They could have stopped at any time they wanted, but they haven't. It's clear that Edelgard doesn't want peace as much as we do. Now, what's your plan B?"

I opened my mouth, bit down on my bottom lip, then sighed, before nodding at the royal scribe to pass out the second set of papers. Cornelia was smiling the whole time, but I watched as the smile faded as she read.

"Plan B, Your Majesty, is to win this war."

With our plans set in motion, I had some free time for the rest of the day. After having the servants track down where Yuri was, I found him in the library, a vast room with bulging bookshelves lining the walls. He was reading in one of the armchairs, about halfway through a book called A Treatise on Political Subterfuge.

I sat down in the red armchair beside him and stared at my hands on my knees. Yuri hadn't looked up. I turned to him and said, "Can we talk?"

He slid a bookmark in before closing the book, glancing at me. "Yes."

I took in a deep breath. "I know you were probably just worrying about me, and I can't imagine what it was like for you these past few years. But this is my job. I know what my limits are. I won't overwork myself, so you don't have to worry."

"I know," Yuri said, staring at the mountain landscape painting in front of us. He bent his head towards me. "I was so terrified that you'd never wake up."

I reached for Yuri's hand. "I'm sorry," I said.

"It's not your fault." His forehead bumped into mine.

"I could have ran away." I took Yuri's other hand in mine.

Yuri drew away to look me in the eye. "I know you can take care of yourself, Byleth. I left last night cause I didn't want to argue with you. Sorry."

"Why are you apologizing? I thought you were mad at me," I said, squeezing his hands.

"No, I'm just-" He shook his head. "I don't know what I'd do without you." He squeezed my hand back.

I wanted to say that he'd be fine without me, but that probably wasn't what he wanted to hear. "I'll be more careful," I said with a small smile. "I promise. I'll try not to die."

Yuri smiled back. "It's not going to be easy to keep that promise, especially with the war."

"I'll do my best." I pulled him into a hug.

"I know. I promise I won't die too," he said, burying his face into my shoulder.

I laughed. "Of course. Are you busy?"

"Me? You're the one who's working." Yuri drew away to grin at me.

"I'm free this afternoon. Do you want to walk around the capital?" I said. He nodded, and we stood up. "Let's go get Rose."

Rose told us she was still working and to go by ourselves, so we left the palace and wandered down the cobblestone streets. It was a gray day, with a chilly autumn wind blowing by. There were still plenty of people mingling in the open marketplaces and plazas.

"Is there anything you wanted to do? You've been here before, right?"

"Yeah, when I came to visit you," Yuri said. "But I always stayed in the palace. I heard there's a bakery here with really good honey cakes."

"Oh, I know where you're talking about! We've had them before in the palace." I grabbed Yuri's hand, and we followed the narrow twisting streets to a green bakery with a line spilling out of the door.

"That's quite a lot of people." Yuri raised an eyebrow.

"We have time." I smiled and leaned against him.

He smiled back. "Is it bad that I still can't believe you're awake?" I shook my head. He wrapped an arm around my shoulder and bumped his head against mine. "It's been so long."

It took about twenty minutes for us to get into the store and seated at a table. We ordered tea, their famous honey cakes, and pudding. Yuri took one bite and melted into a grin. "I'm ordering some to take back with me," he said, while I giggled.

"When are you going back?"

"Tomorrow."

"So soon?"

Yuri nodded. "You know I can't leave Abyss for too long, and it takes a day and a half to get back."

I sighed, dipping my spoon into the pudding. "I wish we were closer."

After finishing our tea, we strolled along the streets, gazing at fancy hats and dresses in shop windows. We entered a weapons shop, where I finally bought some replacement daggers, and Yuri admired a fine axe. We walked back to the palace in comfortable silence in time for dinner.

"Are you really going to stay in the guest bedroom?" I asked Yuri as we headed to my room after dinner.

Yuri smirked. "How scandalous, Byleth. We're aren't married yet."

I rolled my eyes. "But-"

Yuri's shoulder pressed against mine as he leaned closer to say in a quiet tone, "You're living in the royal palace. Nobles love to gossip. If you don't follow their etiquette and rules, you'll be the talk of the kingdom."

I blushed. I didn't think that such news might spread. "People don't know how to mind their own business," I said, opening the door.

"No, they don't." Yuri smiled.

I pulled some papers from my locked drawer out. "I have a quick meeting with His Majesty, then there's something I want to talk to you about."

"All right, I'll wait here." Yuri sat down on the couches.

Now that it was evening, Dimitri was residing in his own room, with Dedue sitting nearby, and guards flanking the doors. They nodded and opened the door to let me in. Dimitri and Dedue both looked up when I entered.

I waited for the doors to close behind me, glanced around to ensure we were alone, before placing the papers on Dimitri's desk. "Your Majesty, this is my true war strategy."

Dimitri picked the thin stack up and glimpsed the first page. "You think there's a spy amongst us?"

I nodded. "If there's a spy, then we'll know based on the Empire's next movements."

"We'll still have to let some people know so they can take action," Dimitri said. "How do you plan on sending troops anywhere without telling their commander?"

"Send me. I'll do it. We don't have to take action just yet. We still have two months," I said. Dimitri raised an eyebrow. "Two months before my brother returns."

"The professor? Return from where?"

I rubbed the back of my neck. "I'm not sure either. He just… left a note telling me he'd be back then."

"Byleth, you aren't serious about peace, are you?" Dimitri asked. "Have you tried to contact any of the other leaders?"

I shook my head. "No, Your Majesty, but I would much prefer peace."

"Good, don't reach out to the Empire. Peace is no longer an option, Byleth." Dimitri sighed. "Edelgard must die."

"You mean- But-" I opened and closed my mouth for a second. "Why can't I contact them?"

"They don't know you're alive. It's best to keep that secret for as long as possible."

"They don't know?"

"Of course not. We weren't sure who was responsible. Lord Arundel claimed the Church knight was the one who killed you, but as the sole survivor, we weren't sure if we could believe him."

"Right," I said, staring down at the fine mahogany desk.

"Let's talk more about your plan later," Dimitri said.

I nodded. "Yes, good night." I turned and left without waiting for Dimitri and Dedue's response.

"So, what did you want to talk about?" Yuri asked, when I'd shut my bedroom door behind me.

I sighed, running a hand through my hair. "I was going to ask you to deliver a letter to Edelgard." I sat down on the couch beside him. "But His Majesty just said I shouldn't contact them."

"What did you want to tell them? I could put it under my own name."

I stood up, dug the letter out from my desk, and handed it to Yuri. He glanced through it. "His Majesty really wants to fight this war," I said, leaning my head back until I was staring at the ceiling. "And win, of course. What should I do? If I get fired, could I go back to trying to broker peace?"

"If you get fired, you'll probably be put in jail," Yuri said, folding the letter back up. "You know too much, and if His Majesty knows you'd run to the other side, he'd be better off holding you here in prison."

I frowned. "Would he really?"

"If I were king, I would," Yuri said.

My forehead creased. "That's-" I shook my head. I knew he was right, even though it felt so wrong. "I guess I shouldn't ask you to send this then."

"I can rewrite these." He touched my hand and smiled. "And if you need someone to bust you out, let me know."

"Thanks. Will you be back in two months time?"

Yuri shook his head. "I wasn't planning on it. Do you want me to?"

"No, it's all right. Then, there's one more that you can deliver." I dug another letter out from my pocket. "This is for my brother." Yuri nodded and tucked it into his own pocket, along with the other letter. "He'll be back in the monastery on the 31st of Ethereal Moon. And one more thing." I went to my desk and pulled a bag of gold coins out. "Do you think you can hire an assassin?"

"Who's the target?"

"Lord Arundel."

"How much money is there?"

"A hundred thousand."

Yuri looked at me with his mouth agape. "You have that much money?"

"It's most of my savings." I shrugged.

He stood and stepped to my side to look at the cloth bag full of gleaming gold coins. "That's a high ranking target."

"I know. That's why I thought you might need more money."

"I might be able to get away with seventy thousand." Yuri stroked his chin in thought. "Just give me seventy, Byleth. Keep the rest for yourself."

"Are you sure?" I glanced at him, and he nodded. "All right, if you say so." I counted thirty gold coins and tucked those back into one of my locked drawers. Yuri pocketed the bag.

"Leave it to me, dear." He smirked.

"You're not going to do the assassinating yourself, right?" I said, raising an eyebrow. "You better not. You're hiring someone. You promise, right?"

"I promise." He smiled.

"Okay, good." I smiled back and leaned forward to kiss him on the cheek. "Thanks."

Near the end of Red Wolf Moon (11), I received a letter from Yuri informing me that the assassination plan had failed. On the bright side, though, he'd sent out the letter to Edelgard but there was no response.

If we didn't hear back from Edelgard, then there wasn't much I could do. We needed Edelgard to stop the war for us to discuss peace. In the meanwhile, Dimitri and I had fleshed out our real war plans, but we were mostly on standby until the Empire made its next move. If we moved too soon, then the news of our actions would leak to potential spies.

As snow fell and blanketed Fhirdiad, each day passed in a blur. I was often sitting in meetings, training, or spending time with Rose and Jeralt. I read battle reports about the skirmishes on the border, which were decreasing in number. Most of the ones that did occur, we won, thanks to the reinforcements from Arianrhod. Except one fight where four entire battalions were destroyed.

When I read the battle reports, my chest constricted. 1200 soldiers. Dead. There were so many names that it was a giant stack of papers, sitting in the middle of the table. We all stared at the pile, and no one dared touch it, as if that could bring those soldiers back to life.

"Apparently they encountered the Black Eagle Strike Force," Lord Rufus informed us. Dimitri's hand was balled into a fist. "They slaughtered all of our soldiers positioned at the post."

I felt the blood drain from my face, and a chill ran down my spine. I picked up the report again to look at the location. It was near the border between Charon and Garreg Mach. I'd sent reinforcements there - two battalions. I'd caused 600 soldiers to die.

"So the Empire has control of the area?" Dimitri asked.

Rufus nodded. "What's our next step?"

"We can't divert our resources there just yet," Dimitri said. "Has the Empire attacked House Charon? Have they been spotted nearby?"

"No." Rufus shook his head. "Our scouts say they have some troops at the post, but not many. We could take it back easily."

While Dimitri folded his hands together in thought, Rodrigue opened his mouth and said, "We should focus on the bridge, like we've planned. Our forces are already spread thin across the border."

"I agree," I said, but my voice cracked. I cleared my throat, as eyes around the room turned to me.

"What if they do decide to attack House Charon?" Rufus asked. "Even they'd have difficulty holding off the Black Eagle Strike Force."

"Then we can send them some reinforcements." Dimitri glanced at me. "What do you think, Byleth?"

I nodded. "Yeah, that sounds good." My hands were shaking under the table.

"How many?" Rodrigue asked. The royal scribe was taking notes and looked up at me. Why were they leaving the decision up to me? Why would they still trust me after I'd killed off two battalions?

I wiped my sweating palms on my pants and sifted through the battle reports to find our numbers sheet - how many battalions we had stationed where. We still had twenty on standby. I took a deep breath and said, "How many forces does Charon have?"

"Five," Rufus said, who somehow kept all the numbers and facts in place.

"How about sending three then? Do they have the room to house and feed so many soldiers?" I lowered the piece of paper down and returned my hands to my lap.

Dimitri nodded at the scribe. "Let's ask them. If they say they don't need or want reinforcements, we won't need to send any." The chair scraped against the rock when he stood up. "Let's call it a night."

I followed Lord Rodrigue out of the meeting room, into the throne room, through the hallways to my bedroom. Tania was waiting for me, as she always was. "Shall I draw a bath for you, Miss?"

I nodded, massaging my left temple where a headache was forming. "Yes, please, thank you."

She disappeared into the bathroom, while I dropped down on the couch with a sigh. I tried to imagine twelve hundred people. I couldn't. The number was too large for me to imagine each and every person. And they all had family, most likely. They certainly had friends, people who cared about them, people who would mourn.

I had to tell myself that this was war, and this was the reality of war. People died. But I couldn't help but wonder what would have happened if I hadn't sent two battalions over. Would the casualties only be six hundred then? Would the other six hundred be somewhere safe, alive, and well? Or would the Empire have stomped past the post and attacked Charon? There was no way of knowing.

I was awful at my job. Or at least, it sure felt like I was. Tania re-emerged from the bathroom with a polite bow. "The bath is ready, Miss."

After that night, my nightmares worsened. There were the usual ones, where I dreamt of Solon, of his cold fingers on my skin, and his cruel laughter. But then there were new nightmares, of someone weeping at a grave, of a body with a lance protruding out of it, and of accusatory whispers in my ear.

On the 15th of Ethereal Moon, I led several battalions with Sylvain and Felix to Galatea territory, where we met up with Ingrid. We then spent several days crossing the mountains and the Valley of Torment that separated the Kingdom from the Alliance.

By the 20th, we'd reached warmer Alliance lands. We continued south towards Myrddin, until the Airmid River came into view. We camped in the forests and waited. On the morning of the 31st of Ethereal Moon, our scouts reported seeing Emperor Edelgard herself amongst the troops marching our way.

I was standing beside Ingrid on the grass, watching the mass of soldiers across the river from us.

"There's not as many people as I thought there'd be," Ingrid said.

"Yeah." I swallowed, resting a hand on my sword pommel. I turned back to the Kingdom soldiers standing behind me. We had four battalions - one for each general.

"We counted ten battalions, my lady," one of our scouts said. "And, there's someone new standing beside the Emperor. He has green hair. He, um, looks a lot like you, my lady."

Ingrid, Sylvain, and Felix both glanced at me. I nodded and dismissed the scout, chewing my bottom lip. Byleth was back.

Thanks for reading! :) Any feedback is greatly appreciated. Next chapter will be out on July 12.