Chapter 30: The Lost Girl

Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.

- Mark Twain

Mikhail's Journal 29.11.2010

After the first month of being a parent I never assumed how hard it could be. Even though Mina and I weren't blood related, I did take on full responsibility and made full commitment to become Mina's adoptive father. Mina and I had a positive connection in the past and this made me assume I would be the ideal guardian for her, but unfortunately having to put up with Mina's unstable and erratic behavior tried my patience. I didn't know what I was going to do about her. Giving up on a kid is not something I ever wanted to do so I started becoming more strict and dominating so I can discipline Mina and set her straight.
Therapy was the only other option, but had I known exactly what Mina had been through and endured could I truly understand her and talk to her. Since Mina had run away, I did what any parent would do when their child is missing, I set out into the cold harsh wilderness to find the girl I still loved and cared for like she was my own.

"Hey Micky what's the hurry?" called a voice behind me. I turned around and saw it was Josh who was smiling complacently.

"Did you see a little girl recently, small, brunette and aged about 12?" I asked.

"Sounds like a little girl I just saw a minute ago. Like a cheeky little fox she raided the pantry and I caught her out," admitted Josh.

"Do you know where she went?"

"Afraid I wouldn't know, she didn't say. All I know she ventured into the woods."

"Okay in which direction?"

"That way," Josh pointed at a row of trees that looked like they lead into a dark lone forest, which I hoped wasn't full of wild animals such as wolves or bears.

Before I ran into the forest I looked at Josh who just looked at me awkwardly.

"Josh, you are coming with me. You're going to help me find her."

Josh didn't object, he just shrugged his shoulders and said, "Okay, I don't know what my boss is going to say about me not turning up for my shift. Ah well I'll just tell him I was sick."

Josh compliantly followed me into the forest where I hoped Mina wasn't too far away to hear our voices.

Josh and I called out to Mina while we dragged our feet through the deep snow.

"What if she's here, but hasn't heard us?" wondered Josh

Guess it was true, maybe she hasn't heard us and was trying to hide from us. It was better than searching tirelessly and fruitlessly in what seemed a large deep forest.

"Well keep your eyes and ears open, she can't have gone too far. Not in this condition," I commanded Josh while I observed and listened for any signs.

Luckily we came across small footprints as they looked like they belonged to a child, this was a clear indication that we were on track. The footprints lead to a wire fence, which I heard was a warning wire and that the single touch of the wire triggers a silent alarm which alerts the authorities and scouts are deployed to find the intruder. Underneath the wire was a shallow ditch, which looked like someone maybe a child tried to crawl under.

"Looks like we hit the jackpot," wisecracked Josh.

"Indeed we have, Josh. Indeed we have."

I went under the wire fence first and Josh followed me behind. Looking into the distance and seeing how somber and perilous the area looked, it was clear we were in no-man's land and we would encounter danger should we proceed.

"Do you know how to use one of these?" I asked Josh handing him my Kalashnikov, which he took without hesitation.

"Uh yeah, just point and shoot... am I right?" doubted Josh.

"It's a Kalashnikov, Josh. It's the easiest gun in the world. You just pull back on the charging handle, press the stock into your shoulder, aim and shoot," I instructed while I watched Josh handle the Kalashnikov. He had the rifle aimed at me and I slapped it away and admonished, "Don't aim it at me, you never know when the gun might go off."

"Sorry Meekhyle, just a little nervous is all."

"Just stick with me and you'll be fine. Only shoot if you are being attacked, do not shoot on sight. The last thing we want is to attract a horde of walkers."

"No way dude, that's the worst that could happen."

Josh and I walked deeper into the forest where the snow was deeper and the air was icy. With how bitterly cold it was and how boundless the forrest seemed, it could only mean Mina couldn't have been farther away. I just hoped she was dressed warmly and she wasn't suffering from frost bite or hypothermia.

Only after strenuous long searching I heard shivering and teeth chattering. The sound of shivering sounded like a little girl, a living little girl. I turned my head around to see it was indeed a little girl and it didn't take long to identify her as Mina. She was dressed in her winter clothes, the same ones she was dressed on Russian national unity day. Even though she was wise to put on a coat, even her rabbit skin ushanka, they weren't enough to protect her against below freezing conditions or even a snow storm.

"MINA," I shouted. In response Mina ran away as I started to chase her. "MINA, COME BACK."

Mina continued to run away from me until she dropped in the ground and as I ran to where she dropped down, I saw her tumbling down a hill. I followed after her and was able to catch up to her before she was able to pick herself back up.

"Mina, thank God I found you. I was so worried about you," I cried as I took Mina in her arms.

Mina didn't smile a sign of relief, she continued to shiver. Her lips were blue, her eyelashes turned to ice and she had a red nose. She needed treatment sooner or later or she would die of hyperthermia.

"Uh Meekhyle my man, we have company," warned Josh.

Josh was right, there was company and not good company. It was a herd of walkers, walkers that have been exposed to the cold and were looking like walking skinny, decomposing icemen. I looked back at Mina with fear in her eyes and quivering lips.

I took off my coat and wrapped it around Mina and requested, "Stay here, let me take care of this. I'll be right back."

I unsheathed my MPL-50 shovel and charged at the advancing walkers. With one clean swipe of my shovel the blade cut through their flesh and bone like butter. For those that have been subjected to intense freezing conditions, their skulls caved in like ice when I struck one in the face with my elbow. The horde seemed to be endless as another walker would pop up in my place after I cut one down like corn in a cornfield. Then all of a sudden bullets flew in my direction but no where near me. They sounded like bullets from a Kalashnikov and I could see the bullets strike the walkers in the chest and limbs as they fell to the floor.

Giving me breathing space and time to survey where it came from, I saw Josh with my Kalashnikov, he stood at the edge of the slope with one foot forward and holding my Kalashnikov like a Hollywood action hero.

"How do you like that, Meekkhyle. Pretty good ain't I?" bragged Josh, holding my Kalashnikov with one hand and pointing it in the air. It horrified me to see that Josh had his finger in the trigger guard and on the trigger. The Kalashnikov went off as the impact of the full automatic fire scared him and he tumbled down the slope. Josh landed face first in the snow and was attacked by a walker whose legs he shot off with my Kalashnikov. I ran over to Josh who was struggling against a walker on top of him and was screaming for help. Taking the top of the walker's head, which contained its brain, I then gave Josh my hand to help him up.

"Thank you, Meekhyle. You saved my ass," thanked Josh.

"Well don't thank me yet, looked what your attempt at heroism got us into," I condemned, pointing at the approaching number of walkers untouched by bullets.

"Oh no we're in for it," panicked Josh.

"What did I tell you about only using my Kalashnikov to defend yourself?" I reminded.

"I was trying to help, you should at least thank me."

"Well let's focus on getting out of this. Stay with Mina and be ready to leave without me should I give the order."

"Yes sir, comrade...tovarich. If that's what comrade is in Russian," saluted Josh.

Walkers advanced in a long row and I could estimate there were over 100 of them. Grabbing my shovel and prepared to engage in battle another surprise occurred, not from behind the walker horde, but behind me. It was two humongous brown bears. The two bears looked like they were kissing, but in fact they pulled out something thin and metallic, which I could tell was wire. They used the wire to barricade the row of walkers as the walker's skulls exploded with a shower of bullets. A loud voice called out in Russian to cease firing as the walker horde was diminished and only a fraction of the walker horde remained. The bears then intervened and tossed the walkers around or tore them to shreds. It wasn't a pleasant sight to see two bears rip one walker apart as one bear had the walker's feet in its mouth and the other bear had the walker's head in its mouth. I could see the walker's decomposing slimy innards spill out. With only a few walkers remaining and refusing to back down, I took them out and the area was clear with no more walkers approaching.

"Alright men, clear the area and secure the perimeter," ordered the commander through a mask. He stood with his unit who were in a line and had their weapons drawn. They descended down the slope and they split into two teams, one team cleared up the walkers and the other team stood guard and watched out for danger. The bears that took part in the assault were rewarded with what looked like honeycomb that was thrown to them like a dog given a treat.

I approached the commander who I saluted and thanked him for coming to my aide. He saluted me back and told me I needed to give a statement and so did Josh. I confirmed that I was looking for Mina who ran away and Josh was my assistent. We were escorted back to civilization in the back of an army truck. Mina was wrapped in a blanket and was too shook up to say anything. Josh on the other hand started to ask me questions.

"Why did you save me, Mikhail?" asked Josh, looking confused.

"What do you take me for, Josh? I will admit I'm not particularly fond of you, but I'm not coldhearted."

"Why did you take me along?"

"You knew which direction Mina went and besides, I needed another pair of eyes."

"That was some real hairy shit there bro, I thought I was going to die."

"Well the only mistake I made was giving you a gun, don't think I'll be taking you on another search again."

"Don't worry, Mik-hail. I'm a lover not a fighter anyways." Josh smiled at me, hoping to tickle my funny bone and get me to smile too. When the conversation seemed dead, he asked, "You got a cigarette, Mik-hail?"

I fetched my cigarettes out of my pocket and threw them to Josh.

"Thank you, Mik-hail," Josh put a cigarette in his mouth, looked at me and asked, "Are you going to have one too?"

"Nyet, I smoke after breakfast," I retorted as I saw Josh look at me with a confused expression. It looked like he was about to laugh after seeing a twitch at the side of his lip.

We made it back home safely and the first thing I did was have Irina tend to Mina. Luckily she didn't sustain any frostbite or have hypothermia, all she had was a mild cold, which only required warmth and other remedies for a cold.

Alicia and I stayed with Mina to make sure she recovers and doesn't attempt to run away again. She didn't move ever since Irina gave her medical aide and left her to recover. Still sat in the armchair with her feet in water and drinking medicinal tea, I was happy to see she did the sensible thing of staying put and considering how lucky she is to be back in a warm house and with people who cared for her.

In the evening when it was near her bed time, did Mina make a remarkable recovery and wasn't showing any symptoms of a cold. She did remain quiet during dinnertime when we were sat at the table. We didn't deem this as the best time to have a talk with her about her inconsiderate and foolish decision to run away. While Mina had brushed her teeth and was in her room, Alicia allowed me to have a private talk to Mina where I hoped she would listen and could be reasoned with. I sat on the floor next to her bed and looked at her straight in the eyes and proceeded to have my discussion with her.

"Mina, I think it's time we had a serious talk about you running away. You have to understand that both Alicia and I are very upset about you doing this to us," I commiserated, as I looked at Mina looking defeated.

"I wanted to find him, I wanted to find Marc Antony," grumbled Mina.

"Mina, I know how much you want Marc Antony dead, but revenge will not make your pain go away."

"You have no idea what he did to my mother."

I stopped, thought each word of my response before I would then gently inquire about what happened to Mina's mother.

"Okay, if you don't mind me asking... what happened to your mother?"

"Marc Antony locked her in a room where she was burned and I watch my mummy scream and skin burn off. He made me watch her die and then made me watch as pieces of her body were fed to the dogs."

A sudden cold surge coursed through my body and made my stomach turn, picturing each detail how anyone could be so cruelly tortured and killed. It then became evident that Mina watching me carve the turkey during Thanksgiving triggered her PTSD and she lost control.

"Mina, that's terrible. I'm really sorry to hear how she died. I know you're angry and you have every right to be, but Marc Antony's death will not bring her back."

"MARC ANTONY HAS TO PAY FOR WHAT HE HAS DONE, HE'S A HORRIBLE MAN," screamed Mina.

"Da, he is a horrible man and he will get what's coming to him, but you can't throw away your life like that because attacking someone like him who has men armed to the teeth would be suicide. You got to leave it to us to deal with him, with our armies against him we are sure to win and bring him to justice," I convinced.

"You haven't lost a mother," grouched Mina.

"Actually I have, the only difference was I never knew my mother. I don't know exactly how she was killed, but that wasn't the worst thing about it. I didn't know whether she really loved me or not."

This revelation changed Mina's facial expression as if she was surprised to know a little about me and my family.

"Did you ever find out who killed your mother?"

"Nyet, I don't think I ever will and I've learnt to accept it. She was killed while I was still a baby and it was only my father and I."

"What happened to your father?"

"He's dead, died of tuberculosis. I was the one who finished him off. It was me who put a knife in his head to prevent him from coming back from the dead. I've killed so many people before, but killing my father is something I will never forget and will always haunt me for the rest of my life."

"What's it like to kill?"

"One of the worst feelings you could ever experience. You are never the same person afterwards. The face of the first person you killed and how you killed that person will be in your thoughts and dreams throughout your entire lifetime. When I wake up every single day I think back on those I've killed and what their lives were like. I also question what drove them to kill and how fate brought us to come into conflict. When I kill and live to fight another day, I always ask why me, why am I the survivor? Now I know why I fight to live another day, I'm a soldier and it's my purpose to pick up a weapon and fight. If my enemy dies then I have to accept it was him or me and if I should die, I knew it was in the line of duty."

"Why do you fight, Mikhail?"

"Because I was born to fight. I was assigned to fight and I didn't have a choice, but you Mina, you have a choice. You get to grow old and die in a warm bed, but as for me, I'll probably bleed to death and die on the battlefield."

"If I'm not the one to kill Marc Antony, then I will not rest until someone kills him."

"Mina, you can't keep thinking about Marc Antony. It's not healthy."

"I'll never forgive him for killing my mother, I just can't."

"You'll have to forgive him."

Mina looked shocked and disgusted at me, she was at a lost for words.

"You expect me to forgive the man who murdered my mummy?"

"Not anytime soon, but someday. I'm trying to forgive him too."

"What did he do to you?"

"He planned to murder me way before the dead started coming back to life. He endangered Alicia, her family and many friends of mine. Despite all he did to me, I'm trying to find a place in my heart to forgive him."

"So am I suppose to think it was right of him to kill my mummy?"

"What are you on about? He was never right to kill your mother, it was cowardly and despicable."

"What about forget, you expect me to forget?"

This misconception about forgiveness made me shake my head.

"You can't forgive and forget, it's impossible."

"Then what is forgiveness?"

"Forgiveness is about not holding onto grudges and being angry about a person's wrongdoing. It's about accepting what's happened and moving on and being happy."

"Accept what he did? I'm confused?"

"What's happened has happened, we cannot undo the past as much as we want to. We should look to the future and not live in the past, that will only hold us back and make us miserable. If your mother wanted one thing, it would be for you to move on and be happy. She would not want you to go looking for Marc Antony and trying to kill him, she would be ashamed of you becoming a murderer even if it is vengeance."

Mina took time to think about what I said and it looked like I got through to her.

"How do you forgive?"

"Think about the positive things Marc Antony has done."

"What good could Marc Antony have possibly done to you?"

"Well he could have killed me, but he let me live and this wasn't once, but many times. So many opportunities were there where he could have killed me, but he chose not to. Having said that, maybe you should at least be grateful he let you live and didn't kill you too. That is something you can at least thank Marc Antony for, not personally, but mentally."

Mina again took time to let what I said sink in and process it in her mind.

"You're right, Mikhail. Does this mean you are going to kill him, right?"

"If I ever do kill him, it won't be in the name of vengeance it will be under orders and in the line of duty. Besides, killing is one of the easiest things to do once you've done it."

"I know, that's what Rico told me."

A pang hit me hard in the stomach hearing that name and knowing he had an influence on Mina.

"Rico... you spoke to him?"

"Yeah, he taught me how to use a knife."

I knew it, Rico must have taught her how to use a knife.

"Well he sure taught you well, but if there's one thing I want you to understand is I only want you to fight in self-defense and not for any other motive. Devote your time to other hobbies. Do something creative like I don't know, what about... singing?"

"I'd like to learn guitar."

"Then guitar I can teach you. One thing you might need before you commit yourself to music, is inspiration." I pulled out my walkman that I've been carrying with me ever since I left California in pursuit of Alicia and her family. "Here, this is my gift to you. Whenever I'm feeling down or angry about something, music has always helped and should help you too. You might not like my type of music, but I'm sure if you give it a chance you'll hopefully understand my taste."

Mina took the walkman from me, inspected it and thanked, "Thank you, Mikhail. I'll have a listen."

"Very good, it's getting late now so get some sleep and we'll talk in the morning. You like ice skating?"

"Don't think I've ever tried it, but I would like you to teach me."

"Well tomorrow we'll go to the lake where everyone will be skating. It's going to be a lot of fun."

"I'm looking forward to it."

Mina smiled like she really meant it, it was the first smile I saw since I got acquainted with Mina and knew her as a happy impertinent girl.

"That's what I like to hear. Good night, Mina and sleep tight."

I got up and made my way to the door and as I was about to turn off the light, Mina requested, "I'd like to know about the Soviet Union. Would you tell me about the Soviet Union?"

Already feeling like a father and understood how beneficial it was for a child to be told a story before bedtime, I removed my hand from the light switch panel, walked over to Mina and proceeded to tell her a long story about the Soviet Union. Hoping that the political side will help her sleep and she would nod off before I finish the story.

With Christmas fast approaching, everywhere was white with snow and Christmas decorations adorned every house exterior, it was a time to feel harmony and tranquility. Alicia, Mina and I decorated our house with Christmas decorations and it delighted and amused me to see Mina was having fun decorating the house and exploiting her artistic freedom.

There was a Christmas market in Helena where we all went as a family. It was just like I expected from a Christmas market, bright, colorful and live with crowds of happy frolicking people. I met two familiar faces at the market, the first was Josh who I found working at one of the stands. He dispensed tea, which came in various flavors, even offered with spices and herbs. Josh was happy to see me and greeted me, he even greeted Alicia and had the cheek to flirt with her, which Alicia only responded with a polite gentle smile. The second person I met was someone I hadn't seen for a long time. I knew him back in Belarus where I attended military school where he was one of the lecturers, it was Yuri. He was the Asian looking Russian who taught me Chinese Martial arts and his own original fighting style. When he saw he me, he immediately recognized me despite how long it's been and that I've aged since then. We had a small chat and told each other what we've been up to and how we got on with our lives until I introduced him to my self-proclaimed family.

Mina to my shock had a really big appetite as I saw her stuff herself with blini, which is what I believe she would call them pancakes. We stopped by a show where we saw someone dressed up as Ded Moroz who is the Russian Santa Claus. The only difference was he was dressed in blue and not red. He still had the long white beard like he's always depicted. He was accompanied by his female assistant whose name I knew as Snegurochka which translates as Snow Maiden. In folklore she was a woman made of snow who was brought to life, sort of like Pinocchio. Snegurochka was a young attractive blonde with her hair styled in pigtails and she wore bright red lipstick and smiled at the audience as she presented the large sack of presents in the back of his sleigh. As Ded Moroz and Snegurochka waved to the audience, a horrifying figure wearing a mask with long white hair, leathery skin and a long nose with a large pimple snuck on stage. Immediately it came to me that she was Baba Yaga a famous character from Slavic folklore. She's a witch who has a very complex and biased agenda, in some stories she's portrayed as a villain and in other stories she helps the protagonist. Baba Yaga tried to grab the sack of presents and Ded Moroz and Snegurochka turned around to catch her in the act. Ded Moroz pointed his staff at her and chastised her for her attempt to steal the presents and told her to disappear. Baba Yaga hissed and scurried off stage.

With Baba Yaga off scene, Ded Moroz invited kids to walk on stage to receive their present. Kids huddled and pushed in the queue eager to get their present as I held Mina close to me so she wouldn't get embroiled in the scurry. When it was Mina's turn she walked calmly on stage and sat on Ded Moroz's lap who tried to communicate with her in my language that she still basically spoke and vaguely understood. He ardently gave her a present that Snegurochka passed to him to give to her, Mina thankfully took it, hopped off his lap and skipped to me holding a box with shiny wrapping paper and a silk pink ribbon. Mina was beaming to be holding the present in her hands and it was a pleasure to see the happy vivacious girl she used to be before the tragic passing of her mother.

Mikhail's Journal 25.12.2010

Today is my birthday, which is also the day where Americans and non Orthodox Christians celebrate Christmas. It was exhilarating to know I would be celebrating my birthday with family and having two Christmases with them. The first start of my birthday was a surprise breakfast Alicia and Mina cooked for me. They cooked me my favorite, syrniki served with raspberries, yoghurt and a dollop of strawberry jelly. The syrniki was cooked to perfection with a crispy texture on the outside and soft in the inside.

Travis and Madison turned up. Madison hugged and kissed me on the cheek and wished me a Happy Birthday and Merry Christmas. Travis surprised me the most by seeing him walk on his two legs towards me to offer me his hand with a cheerful smile on his face. As I took his hand and received both a Birthday and Christmas greeting from him, I looked down to see he was wearing what looked like bulky and blocky mechanical pants. In a way they looked like braces on his legs and looking down at his feet and saw he was wearing what looked like long boots. Travis noticed me looking below his waist, where he had a leg that had been amputated was now replaced by an imitation leg. He explained to me that the experiment was a success and he now has the means to walk again. Not only did he show he would walk again, but also can convert his mechanical pant-braces into a seat and support his weight.

First thing we did was open up Christmas presents, I guessed mine would be last just to not get American Christmas mixed up with my birthday. For Alicia I got her a gold dainty necklace, which had a heart shape amber stone. Alicia was bewildered and awed by her gift she thanked me vehemently and hugged me. For Mina I got her a pair of white ice skates. She was ecstatic to hold the pair of white brand new ice skates in her hand she was impatient to go ice skating.

Madison then cooked Christmas dinner. She cooked the Christmas feast she claimed she cooked every year, which included turkey and other side dishes. It surprised me to see that turkey is served as the main course for both Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner.

For dessert Madison baked me a birthday cake as everyone sung me happy birthday while Madison carried the cake with lit candles and placed it in front of me. I blew out the candles in one blow and everyone cheered. When everyone got their piece of the cake I got to open my presents. I decided to open up the present Mina got for me as she looked at me buzzing with excitement expecting me to like it. She got me a compass which she claimed she made herself during shop class. I gratefully thanked Mina for the gift and told her I would use it the next time I go on an expedition. Next I opened my biggest present which was a samovar, which both Madison and Travis pitched in to buy for me knowing how much I love tea. I also got a variety of different flavors of black tea, which I have to admit was tempted to sample them all in one sitting. Alicia didn't get me anything as I can guess she was saving mine for later.

With the sun no longer in the sky and the night fast approaching, Alicia and I were going to have an evening alone, just the two of us. As much as I didn't like the idea of sending Mina away, a girl who Alicia and I happily adopted, we knew it was for tonight only and we would leave her under the supervision of a trusted adult. We requested Madison and Travis would take Mina ice-skating at the lake where many locals still ice-skate on the frozen lake at this time in the evening. Mina asked why I couldn't come too and I made the alibi that Alicia and I have a meeting with the social worker. I encouraged and convinced Mina that she'll have a fun time with Madison and Travis and she should get to know them better since they are basically her adoptive grandparents. Mina smiled and happily left with Madison and Travis and once again wished me Happy Birthday and I amicably wished them Merry Christmas in response.

Once Madison, Mina and Travis were gone, I looked back at Alicia as we both smiled mischievously like naughty teenagers at high school knowing what we intended to do now that we were alone. I offered to put on a fire while Alicia grabbed the Carbernet Severny we've been saving.

After replicating the scenery when Alicia and I planned to have sex, but it was interrupted, we hoped that tonight there will be no disturbances. We did the same thing as we did on that night, sat on the bearskin rug, gaze into the fire, drink wine and talked a little. Alicia wore a shirt and panties while I only wore my underwear.

"So Alicia, are you feeling, well you know what... nervous?" I asked, feeling embarrassed to ask an obvious question.

"No, dumbass. Why are you?" responded Alicia.

My heart begun to jump inside my chest like a pinball.

"Erm... I... nyet, well it's just I'm unsure how it's done."

"Easy, you just put your thingy in me and then move your body, or I can take control and do it for you."

"I know the basics, it's just I don't know if something will go horribly wrong during our first time. Maybe I'll break my thingy."

"I ask the same thing about having something long and solid inside me, I wondered whether it would cause any tears and lead to internal bleeding."

"I wondered that too. I also ask what life would be like after, knowing you had something you can never have again, I'm talking virginity."

"Why are you scared about losing your virginity, aren't you more scared of dying as a virgin?"

"Now that's something I ponder so often. Being superstitious I don't know if losing your virginity means bad luck or it makes me unclean."

"So you're not going to have sex with me tonight, or never?" inquired Alicia as she frowned.

I turned to look at Alicia to answer her question, "Of course I am, just feeling a little nervous."

"Oh Mikhail, you are such a pussy. You are a soldier whose been in countless fights, survived life threatening conditions, overcome all obstacles and you're afraid to lose your virginity?"

"I just don't know what happened last time? I was in the mood, I was ready and now I just can't get myself in the mood for sex."

Alicia moved her face closer to mine and whispered, "Perhaps you need stimulation."

Alicia smothered me with her lips and worked her hands around my body, slowly moving them down in between my legs. She briefly pulled herself away from me and stripped off her shirt and once again exhibited me her impeccable exquisite breasts. She took one of my hands and placed it on her left breast and she resumed kissing me while placing one hand on my crotch. This sensual touching and kissing got me aroused and Alicia could tell I was ready and I felt ready too as I denuded myself of all clothing. Once we were both naked I pulled out a condom I found and have been saving for a long time as I presented it to Alicia.

"Erm dumbass, you do know this condom has expired right?" indicated Alicia.

"What do you mean?" I perplexed.

"6th of August 2010."

Alicia pointed at the bold black numbers on the condom wrapper.

"O nyet, does this mean it's not safe?" I worried.

"Well the condom wouldn't do its magic."

"So I guess we can't do it?"

This assumption disheartened me knowing I wasn't going to have sex tonight with Alicia despite being ready to lose my virginity to her. Then something unexpected happened, which rekindled my hope and I knew I was going to have my night of passion with Alicia.

"You know what?" said Alicia, as she threw the condom into the fire, "Fuck the condom." Alicia then threw one leg over my waist as if she was mounting a horse and then proceeded to massage my chest. "I want a baby."

I didn't object to Alicia wanting a baby, it was Christmas and it was a time of giving. Alicia wants a baby and Mina I'm certain would like to have a kid brother or sister. Without thinking about anything else and not wanting to think about anything else, I looked at Alicia as she slowly and carefully tried to guide my penis into her. The first thing I felt was a warm sensation and that was when I knew I was no longer a virgin. I fondled Alicia's breast as she rode above me and started to silently orgasm. We changed positions as I lay on top of her and slowly thrusted my pelvis against hers. I kissed her neck to lavish her with further pleasure as Alicia orgasmed louder and I could hear her pleasurable orgasms buzz in my ear. Then I felt what I knew was coming, the most intense pleasure during intercourse. Alicia's orgasms got even louder they rung my eardrum as I climaxed into Alicia and squeezed my body tightly against hers.

The sensory overload drained me of all energy and rendered me paralyzed and I lay on top of Alicia. Alicia massaged the roots of my hair with one hand until I would hear her voice boom in my ear.

"Are you going to sleep on me?" questioned Alicia sarcastically.

"Sorry, Alicia," I apologized, fearing I was suffocating her. I lay on my back and gazed at the dark ceiling where there was dim orange light emitting from the fire. "We did it, I can't believe we did it."

"Why can't you believe it?" puzzled Alicia.

"That it took this long. I travelled all that way from Los Angeles to Mexico just to see you. After so much fighting we got together and became a couple. There were opportunities where we could have had sex, but I was either not ready at the time or our chances were thwarted. Now here we are, bathing next to a warm fire and lying on a bearskin rug next to each other."

"What do you think the bear that was killed just to make the rug will say to that?" joked Alicia.

"Oh I wouldn't worry about him or about sending it to the dry cleaners, this is artificial fur. No bear or any other animal was harmed making it," I wisecracked.

Alicia and I suddenly both burst into laughter. When we stopped laughing, I poured Alicia and I another glass of wine and continued our night of romance.

Mikhail's Journal 06.01.2011

I've made it into the new year, nothing has changed much in the colony other than receiving the news that the invasion of Wyoming was a success and all hostilities between invading troops and resistance fighters has ended. My service in the Wyoming campaign is confidential and forbidden to reveal detailed information on what my objectives were, but I can say it was a reconnaissance mission and report intel back to HQ. Assassination was one of the objectives and it wasn't a task I received any pleasure in carrying out. I try not to remember the faces of those whose lives I end with either a bullet from a sniper rifle or a knife. Coming home after doing my part and seeing Alicia and Mina again smiling at my return is just the alleviation I needed to take my mind off all the events that will haunt me for years to come. Luckily I was able to come home before Christmas, which for me is the 7th of January because I'm Orthodox Christian.
I celebrated Orthodox Christmas with my new family as the whole neighborhood celebrated. Everyone including my family attended church where we travelled to Helena to attend the event in Helena Cathedral, which has been converted into an Orthodox Christian place of worship. There was singing and chanting. The mass was long like it usually is on Christmas eve because the services include the Royal Hours, the Vespers and the Divine Liturgy. After mass we travelled back home where we would have Christmas dinner with the Orlovs who were my next door neighbours who welcomed me and cooked Alicia and I dinner when we first moved in. The table was beautifully laid and lit with candles. The food looked both appetizing and festive like a traditional Russian Christmas feast. There was lots to eat such as kholodets (meat and egg in jello), pirozhki, coulibiac (fish, onion and rice pie), kalach (bread) as well as bowels of boiled vegetables and cheese. The main course that took the center of the table was a cooked goose, which I was relieved to see because I didn't think a whole roasted pig looked appeasing or appetizing. For dessert there was vatrushka (cheese tart), kissel (jello) and angel wings (deep fried cookies). Presents were given out, but I didn't care too much for presents these days, I cared more about love and family and that to me is what Christmas was really all about other than Jesus' birthday.

Mikhail's Journal 20.03.2011

Life in the community has been harmonious and peaceful with weekly news regarding military campaigns in South Dakota or colonization in Wyoming. Civilization in Wyoming was being reestablished and Russianized with occupying forces and missionaries (not Christians). Many American refugees who wanted food and shelter yielded to us and agreed to integrate. It pleased me to know many who were hungry and cold would choose to collaborate rather than resist. Wyoming and South Dakota are known for not being largely populated states so it was no surprise why resistance was at a minimum. The highlight about the South Dakota campaign was when live footage was broadcasted at the State Capitol in Helena on a big screen, which showed soldiers standing on top of the heads of the four iconic American presidents Washington, Jefferson, Roosevelt and Lincoln. Watching the seemingly glorious and victorious moment reminded me of the photo where a Russian soldier waves a Soviet Union flag on top of the Reichstag in Berlin.
This was a moral booster and one for the history books should a new history book ever be published. It also made me think how close Russia was to achieving its goal, cut the country in two. There were two more states from Wyoming to occupy in order to create a border which were Colorado and New Mexico. Colorado I knew had a high terrain with the rocky mountains and its vast wooded area. The mountains and trees would be the ideal place for guerrilla fighters to remain hidden and plan counter attacks against the enemy. The more I thought about Colorado being invaded I asked myself whether the Trimbols made it to Colorado and are still living there? If so I just hope they wont succumb to any harm imposed by the pending invasion of Colorado. I don't know whether Vernon Trimbol is a fighter and would lay down his life for his country, but I was more certain he would care more about protecting his family than his country. I just hope he would do the right thing and bring his wife including his children Mike and Gretchen over to Montana where they'll be safe.

Mina has been doing well in school and has been getting good grades. I've even been teaching her how to play guitar, which she rhapsodically started to take up as a hobby. We would even have jamming sessions together and have fun singing and playing our guitars, it felt like a real father and daughter moment. It seemed she has found her catharsis and a path in life where she'll choose to sing instead of fight.

Alicia hasn't been feeling too well recently, she's not as energetic as she was earlier where she could along with my help get housework done within an hour. I had to mostly do the housework as she needed to sit down and would even fall asleep on the couch in the middle of the day. She would even get morning sickness and complain of having chest pains. I would always comfort her when she had morning sickness by rubbing her back and telling her it will be alight.

On the day when Alicia had an appointment with a doctor, I would receive an incoming call from my portable communications device I always carried with me. I was notified that Dimitri had woken up from his coma and wants to speak to me personally. While I waited for my ride, I got changed in my military fatigue so I was dressed for the occasion.
A jeep came to my house and I was transported to the military hospital where I would be greeted by Ivan who gave me a salute as I saluted back. I asked Ivan whether Dimitri said anything and Ivan told me he refused to say anything unless I was present. We walked together into the hospital courtyard which was unoccupied with only one man sitting at a table and bench who I recognized as Dimitri. He was smoking a cigarette and had a cup of what I assumed tea. When he saw us, he immediately threw his unfinished cigarette in his tea and was ready to talk.

"Mikhail, just the man I wanted to see," smiled Dimitri.

"Okay Dimitri we've brought Mikhail here now what is it you wanted to tell us?" inquired Ivan.

Dimitri licked his lips, leant forward, scanned his eyeballs left and whispered, "What I'm about to say doesn't only just concern you two, but everyone else living here. It's going to be big and really ugly. The exact paranoia we were hagridden with during the Cold War. Only by pure luck did we avoid what would be the end of us and now it looks like it will happen."

"Dimitri, please skip the poems and just tell us what it is," snapped Ivan.

Dimitri leant even more closer and whispered softly, "Marc Antony, he has nukes and he's ready to launch."

To be continued...