Chapter 35: Farewell Matt

Having no expectations is a really good thing.

- Alycia Debnam-Carey

Mikhail's Journal 21.06.2011

Meeting Rico for what I assumed would be the last time wouldn't be a pleasant visit from someone who would reveal to be the one pulling the strings the whole time. It really did leave a sour taste in my mouth as I predict this won't be the last time I will hear of him. He accomplished his goal by giving the free people of the East coast nuclear arms so they would in time be able to deploy them. It was a gut wrenching feeling to assume that in time they would build missile silos that could enable longer range and even shoot a nuclear missile into California. A nuclear defense plan was still in commission and I had faith in the administration and defense program that no hostile nuke would ever touch us or any civilian community.
With the little wedding present Rico left me and Alicia who is now officially my wife approaching me, I knew I could not hide the envelope that had Matt's name on it from her. Part of being in a marriage or even a relationship is not hiding things despite how personal they are. I had to be truthful and open to Alicia and share what was in the envelope with her. Matt is her deceased boyfriend and she had the right to know.

"What's that, Mikhail?" asked Alicia, appearing at my right.

"Just something an old acquaintance left for us as a little wedding present," I confessed.

"A little wedding present," beamed Alicia, "Let me see." Alicia playfully snatched the envelope out of my hand, opened up the envelope and dug her hand in. She pulled out a cassette in a plastic case. It had Matt's name written on the label, which intrigued Alicia as I saw her eyes light up. "This is from Matt."

"Da, it is. Maybe this is a message to me he recorded before he died."

"I'm curious to know what he had to say to you."

"Feel free to listen to it, I'm sure he wouldn't mind," I permitted Alicia.

"You're the best, Mikhail,"bubbled Alicia, taking my hand and kissing me.

Alicia and I both looked at the full moon that hung in the sky that radiated its beautiful white light onto the river that glistened like diamonds. Our romantic private moment was interrupted by the sound of my mother in law approaching us from behind.

"What are you two doing outside? The party is inside and everyone is having a great time," chirped Madison.

"Nothing mum, I just needed fresh air and so did Mikhail," alibied Alicia.

"Yeah, guess I could use some too," breathed Madison as she walked to my left and placed both her hands on the wooden railing.

"I'm going back inside and talk to Nick," announced Alicia, "Maybe Travis could do with my company."

"Okay, but take it easy with him. He might have had one too many," joked Madison.

"No mum that sounds more like Nick, he's already showing signs of intoxication," laughed Alicia as she walked back inside with the envelope in her hand.

With Madison and I alone, I felt Madison's hand touch mine as I turned to look at her in her eyes.

"Shall we go for a walk?" offered Madison.

I agreed and we both took a walk on the grass still close to the building and where there was light coming from the porch lights and garden lanterns. Madison had her arm around mine as she lead me to a quiet private spot. She stopped, turned to face me, took my hands and looked at me in the eyes with a bright eager smile.

"I can't believe it. My little girl has gotten married and she married a big strong man like you," praised Madison.

"Oh it's an honor to marry your daughter and be her husband and to have you as my mother in law," I blushed.

Madison laughed and then looked back into my eyes with an enamored smile on her face.

"Care to have a dance?" offered Madison.

"Dance? There's no music," I baffled.

"There doesn't have to be music, just think of a song you like and no rock and roll. I want something upbeat and romantic," requested Madison.

"In Your Eyes by Peter Gabriel," I suggested.

"Oh I like Peter Gabriel," approved Madison.

Madison placed my hands on her hips while she locked her arms around my neck and we danced to the song in our heads.

"I think you owe me a kiss, Mikhail," reminded Madison.

This reminder shocked me and nearly made me choke.

"A kiss, what are you talking about?" I questioned.

"Don't you remember? Back at the cabin when you carried me to bed you promised me a kiss after you've wed my daughter."

"Madison, I think you were drunk back then. I didn't think you really meant it."

"Ah ah ah Mikhail, you promised from what I recall."

I tried to remember word by word Madison and I exchanged and when it was I promised her a kiss. It felt awkward that my former school counselor who is now my mother in law is demanding a kiss from me. If I did promise her then I would have to keep my word and appease her.

"Well if you say so, Madison. Now that I've married Alicia, I guess I do owe you a kiss," I permitted.

I took my time, swallowed the lump in my throat and gazed into Madison's bright sparkling eyes. Looking at Madison's glossy rather enticing lips, I then looked back into Madison's eyes, inclined my face towards hers, closed my eyes and tried to find her lips. My lips met hers as I felt Madison's lips gently wrap around my bottom lip with my top lip over her top lip. Madison groaned with pleasure before separating her lips from mine and looking satisfied with the kiss.

"Wow Madison... that was interesting... kind of nice if I may add. Guess we are even now," stuttered I from the rush.

"Not quite, Mikhail. Now you have to sleep with me," demanded Madison sternly.

"Madison... how the.. how can you?" I gasped.

"Just kidding, Mikhail. I just wanted to kiss you is all. I wanted to know what you Russians taste like."

"You think we taste like vodka, huh?"

Madison and I both laughed.

"I think we should go back inside. Everyone is probably wondering where we are," proposed Madison.

"That's a good idea. Let's go back inside and join the others," I agreed as Madison and I walked merrily back to rejoin the party.

Mikhail's Journal 09.08.2011

Alicia and I got back from our honeymoon after spending one month in Siberia, which was really good for that time of year. The weather was warm and the scenery was breathtaking. Even Mina who we brought along with us was thrilled to visit Siberia and had a lot of fun playing in the river and running up the hills. We stayed in a dacha in a small village where the villagers welcomed us and made us feel special as their guests. Later in the month we took a city break and visited Vladivostok, which seemed untouched by walkers and any other forms of attackers. It was if there never was a walker outbreak or at least not recently in the past months. On the way back home we took a boat trip to a small fishing village in Japan where we were welcome by locals who let us stay the night because we missed our boat back to California. The next day we set sail to California and arrived in Los Angeles before sunset where we decided to take the opportunity to visit our old neighborhood. The suburbs were cleared of debris and houses that were destroyed with napalm were torn down and under new construction. My house unfortunately was one of the houses to be incinerated by napalm, but Alicia's house was luckily still standing. We got permission to revisit the house where Alicia could enjoy her moment of nostalgia. She even got to take some of her possessions she had to leave behind when she left with her family. When Alicia and Mina came out of the house with two bags of stuff, we walked down the street where we came across Matt's house, which was also untouched by napalm. I then experienced a sweet nostalgic flashback when I walked out of Matt's house after having dinner with his parents. We did our brotherly handshake and left. Alicia also looked sentimental too, even shedding a tear for Matt who she saw lay dying in his bed. After saying goodbye we left the suburbs and returned to our temporary accommodation where we would stay for the night and return to Montana the next day.

Mikhail's Journal 15.08.2011

It's been over a week since we've been back home and I haven't received any new assignments until now. My new assignment was to infiltrate East territory and capture an engineer called Eugene Porter who has a talent for inventing novelties, which would obviously benefit R&D should I capture him and bring him in alive. I received his photo in the file as he looked chubby, round and had a distinctive mullet. He shouldn't be too hard to find.
I was also given additional instructions to eliminate the following three people whose names and photos were included in the file:
Phillip Blake (Leader of a private militia and of a small fortified community called Woodbury, who's nicknamed the Governor.)
Daryl Dixon (Self proclaimed hunter with peek skills in scouting, navigation and a marksman with a crossbow.)
Rick Grimes (Former deputy for the King County Sheriff's Department now the leader of a small resistance.)
I took one long look at the photos of the three men I was ordered to kill should I ever see them without any hesitation or remorse. It was part of my job I hated, but killing individuals I don't know personally was something I was going to have to learn to accept and get used to. Rather than think about killing I turned my attention to the cassette that has been sitting on the desk, which I never got round to listening. It was the cassette that Rico gave me, which had a recorded message from Matt. I turned the photos over so I no longer had to look at their faces, placed the tape in tape recorder and listened to it while I smoked the E-cigarette Madison and Travis got me for a wedding present.

Hello Mikhail, my bro. If you are listening to this I'm probably already dead. You probably remember me saving your life as I pulled you out of your wrecked car, but by doing so I sustained a bite from some crazy man, probably high on drugs. *Coughs* The bite has infected me with something that not even the doctor could tell me what it is, but I know it's slowly killing me because I already have a fever and I hurt all over.
Before I should die of this infection there's something I should tell you about us and why we haven't been on speaking terms for months on end. After that scene at the cafe that brought our friendship to an end, I started to open my eyes and understand what a douche I've been to you and I apologize for trying to change you. I just wanted us to get through high school together, live the popular life and not be targeted by jocks. It became clear that Marc Antony never really valued me and I only served as his lackey. He became more interested in what social class my parents were and my dad's line of work. This was when I cut ties with Marc Antony and stopped hanging out with him.
You were right, Mikhail. You were right this whole time. Tagging along and conforming with my peers made me forget who I really am and that I had no real identity. I am an artist and it's my obligation and passion to explore my artistic freedom and make my own mark on the world. Getting back in touch with you was something I always wanted to do, but it had to be at the right place at the right time. Then I found myself getting close to Alicia who made me feel less lonely and after hanging around, one thing led to another and we started dating. Whenever I saw you on your own I was inclined to approach you and talk to you, but I was scared how you would react, so I was deterred from doing so.

*Coughs* Something else I must confess and it really hurts to have to bring this up. When I lured you into an ambush by Marc Antony, that was intentional, but believe me... I never intended to have you beaten to a pulp. *Coughs* I just wanted to scare you a little by having a rebuking, but unfortunately Marc Antony was too tempted to use violence as a way to scare you. My reason for me doing this was because of your private interaction with Alicia, which I thought you were flirting with her and trying to steal her away from me. This made me angry and I wanted payback, but after seeing you getting tortured by Marc Antony, I realized how wrong I was and revenge did not bring me any satisfaction. I tried to stop the violence but Marc Antony continued. Eventually you fought back and seeing you fight was something I've never seen before as I could see how you took Marc Antony and his boys down with one hit. This was when I knew that my chance to reconcile our friendship was thwarted and you were always going to be angry with me.
Earlier on I had plans to meet Alicia at the beach as we would watch the sun go down, go back to my house and well... *coughs* you can guess what. I was about to head off to the beach to meet Alicia, but I was overcome with guilt about my betrayal. I decided to slightly alter my plan and invite you to join Alicia and I on the beach and we would all hang out as friends. Also at that moment I was considering breaking off my relationship with Alicia so I could pursue my studies in college, which I was hoping would give you and Alicia the opportunity to get to know each other and maybe form a romantic bond. *Cough* because I failed to reach you, I decided to search for you and I was lucky to find you lying unconscious in your car. I saved you and stayed with you the whole time until help came. At hospital I saw you lying in a coma and it pained me to know that I will never get to say sorry to you for everything I did and how I ruined our friendship, a friendship I knew would never be the same again after what I had done. If I could go back in time and declined Marc Antony's offer to join his clique I would say no and it would just be us two. Like brothers we would stick together, look out for each other and graduate high school together.
As a means to redeem myself I now pass Alicia to you. I was the one who placed a photo of Alicia on the bedside table and I wrote on the back asking you to save her. Mikhail, you are the only one who can save her. She needs someone strong and determined like you. I know you love her and you've been pining for her. I would even go as far to say that I think you love her more than me.
If Alicia could hear this, I want her to know that I'm sorry and I lied to her about you, which made me feel like a real jerk for having done so. Alicia should know that she can depend on you and you'd make a great lover and husband to her. Make her happy for me, Mikhail. I hope when I die there will be an afterlife where I can go and live peacefully and wait for you and Alicia to join me there, where we can be best buddies and have our own friend group. It will just be like old times or should I say what I wish happened on that day. Just you, Alicia and I at the beach having fun together, watching the sun go down and then going back to mind and having our own private party. Do svidaniya, Mikhail... with friendship and love from your best friend... Matt Sale.

The tape stopped playing and the tape player went dead. I stopped to think about what Matt said and I let it sink in. Processing his motives and logic behind his actions, I then found peace with Matt and myself and was able to forgive him. One thing I failed to mention was when Marc Antony was confirmed dead and I walked away, I stopped by Matt who was still on the floor and looking at me snapping his teeth and his arm stretched out. I couched beside him, looked into his bloodshot eyes and pressed my forehead against his. I said one final goodbye to him and ended his second life by pressing my knife into his temple. This memory did bring a sinking feeling in my stomach and make my eyes water. I took one deep inhale of my E-cigarette and blew out sweet strawberry vape to dulcify for emotional pain of Matt's departure.

It did leave the question whether Matt and I would be friends if he was here today. Although he's dead, I still respect and honor our friendship. Even though I will find new friends and even a new best friend, I will always call Matt my best friend and no one can replace him.

Then all of a sudden the front door opened with Alicia and Mina walking in. Mina was jumping and skipping around obviously looking really excited. Alicia was carrying a bag of groceries in one arm and she greeted me with a smile. She bent down to kiss me as she walked into the kitchen with the bag of groceries. Mina slung her arms around my neck and kissed me.

"Wait until you hear what Alicia has to tell you. We just got back from the doctor's and Alicia can confirm what the baby will be," gushed Mina.

"We're going to have a son, Mikhail," announced Alicia who had just walked back into the lounge placing one hand on her baby bump.

"That's right, I'm going to have a baby brother," exulted Mina, jumping up and down, "Oh by the way." Mina slammed vape cartridges on my desk. "More cartridges for your E-cigarette. Good thing you quit smoking. Second hand smoke is bad for the baby."

"You're right, Mina, you're absolutely right. You've been doing your homework by the sounds of it."

"Which reminds me, I still have unfinished homework," gasped Mina.

"Why don't you go and do your homework and we will have a jamming session afterwards, okay?" I smiled at Mina.

"Sure Mikhail, don't let your arms get tired. Got to have enough energy to play guitar," grinned Mina as she skipped to her room, not before turning to look at me and say, "By the way, I'm picking the song. We're not going to do an oldie, we're going to play something modern."

"Sure Mina, whatever you want us to play," I consented cordially and happily watch Mina rush downstairs to her room and do her homework.

When it was just Alicia and I, Alicia would ask, "You know, Mikhail. Now that we know we'll be getting a son, how about we give our baby a name. Any ideas for a name?"

I was unsure at first, but after giving it thought, I looked at the pictures we framed and hung up on the wall. They were paintings and sketches from Matt that we collected from LA. I looked at the tape with Matt's name on the label and then I looked at the front door and imagined Matt still looking at me, smiling and nodding at me. I then turned to look at Alicia and proposed a name for our son.

The End