Chapter 10: Colors and Promises

"Heart beats fast,

Colors and promises.

How to be brave,

How can I love when I'm afraid?"

Christina Perrie, Steve Kazee, A Thousand Years Part 2 (2012).

"Look over there!"

"Harley! Can we take pictures in that booth later?!"

"I want to try one of the pink cup cakes!"

"Jodie, the flowers on the table match your dress!"

Together Jodie and Harley were responsible for three girls. Only two of them actually spole.

"Gracie, Honey, I'm walking as fast as I can in these heels, tugging at my dress won't change that."

Yet it felt like they were looking after an entire class of excited girls.

"Ahh!" Lauren squealed suddenly causing Harley and Jodie both to jump. "Look at all the pretty lights!"

Jodie and Harley exchanged a glance. The were far from friends. Colleagues was a better way to describe it. Or something less than that. People who would never exchange even two words with each other in real life, but were in a situation where they had to get along ultimately.

Harley didn't know what Wendy had said to her, but she didn't really care. She was ok with the way things were right now.

"I'm going to set up by the stage." She told Harley in a low tone. "You should be ok, just don't let them eat too much sugar."

"And only one vodka shot per girl, right?"

Jodie's eyes widened and Harley giggled at her own joke. Mistah J would have appreciated it.

She didn't respond and instead said: "Girls, I'll see you later, ok? Our table is by the side door." She pointed towards it and all three girls hurried towards it. They squealed in delight as the realized they had name cars with their names on them.

"Good luck." Harley offered Jodie who seemed surprised and then attempted a smile.

"You too."

Harley chuckled and walked towards the table, where Rachel was showing Gracie her name card, because the little girl couldn't read yet. She was beaming.

Peter and Wendy had drawn little fairies beside her name.

"Harley, here's yours!" Lauren explained expertly, pointing towards it. Harley smiled, taking the little paper in her hands that read in eloquent, neat handwriting.

Harley Quinn.

"Oh my gosh!" Lauren basically shouted. "Aiden's wearing a tux!"

Harley had to laugh because Lauren sounded so shocked.

"Well, you're wearing a dress."

Mistah J had had a phase were he'd worn tuxes. Before he'd started showing off his tattoos by barely wearing clothes that covered his chest.

She closed her eyes tightly, willing him away from his mind. Today was Peter and Wendy's day and she didn't want to be sad and mopey today. She missed her Puddin' the way a drowning person missed oxygen.

But not today, she told herself. Just be yourself today.

As she studied the name card she felt her chest tighten. After all he had named her Harley Quinn. He had turned her into more than she had been before.

Who was she without him?

"Lauren and Rachel ran away." A tiny voice said by her elbow and Harley looked up from her own name.

"Aw, shit." She muttered. She didn't have to look to know that Jodie would be looking at her accusingly.

Gracie giggled and Harley blushed.

"Don't go repeatin' that."

"I won't." Gracie climbed onto her own chair and pointed at the little name card. "Look." She said smiling. "Fairies."

"Yeah." Harley traced them with her finger. Careful not to touch her. While Lauren and Rachel had begged Harley for help with their hair and makeup, Gracie had shook her head at Harley and backed away from her whenever she came close, so Harley had let her do what she wanted. If she didn't want to have her hair done then Harley wouldn't force her. Jodie and her hadn't talked about it, but she was sure she was grateful for all of Harley's work. All of them were wearing blue and looked very well put together, even Gracie with her broken wins.

"They're beautiful." She said. "Just like you."

The little girl seemed surprised by this compliment, but didn't comment on it. "I like the lights." She said. "And the colors."

Harley looked around. The dining room had been transformed into a thing of beauty. All of the Lost boys were wearing elegant dresses or tuxes. Fairy lights in all colors hung on the wall and some hung from the large ceiling. There was a small stage right at the far end of the large room. Round white tables stood in two rows creating a small aisle, Wendy and Peter would be walking across soon. Each table was decorated lovingly with expense silver ware, flowers and candles

"It's perfect." She whispered.

Perfect for a couple that loved each other enough to confess this love in front of all who were important to them.

How she missed him. How she wished he was here now. How she wished she could be the bride anxiously waiting to walk down the aisle.

"Are you sad?" Gracie asked her blue eyes boring into Harley's.

"Yeah." She sighed. "I'm trying not to be today, but I am sad."

"Because you miss a boy?"

Harley frowned unsure how much to confide in a six-year-old.

"I heard Rachel and Lauren talking." Gracie said defensively. "They said he's mean."

Despite everything Harley had to laugh. "He can be kind of mean, but he was..." She sighed wishing the other two would come back, but they were at the far end of the room at a table talking to Aiden and some of his friends. "He was my best friend." She said. "And he made me very happy and now he doesn't want to be my friend anymore and that makes me sad."

It makes me want to die, she thought. It makes me want to stop existing altogether.

"I can be your best friend, if you like!" Gracie offered and as she moved forward in her large chair her broken fairy wings caught some of the lights and reflected them. "Then you won't have to be sad anymore!"

"That's sweet, Gracie. Thank you."

"So, we're best friends?"

"Absolutely."

If she had to pick any Lost Boy, who wasn't Wendy, to be her best friend, it would definitely be Gracie.

"Hi Harley! Hi Gracie!" Kaitlyn showed up at their table. "You girls look amazing!"

"Not as amazing as you do!" Kurt was just beside her, pressing a kiss against her cheek lovingly.

"Alright Lost Boys!" Porter's voice was suddenly echoing loudly through the dining hall. "Please take your seats so we can begin with the ceremony!"

"See you later!" The young couple that always made Harley happy and jealous at the same tome went to their table.

There was some more noise, as the children and teenagers and young adults all complied and started making their way to their assigned seats.

"Aiden said I look pretty!" Lauren whispered loudly, her cheeks burning like fire.

"Aw." Harley patted her head. "You do, Honey. You really do."

Once everyone was seated, Porter beckoned a group of teens to the front and Harley was surprised to see them carrying musical equipment. One of them had a violin, the next places a keyboard on a stand and then cheerful classical music started and her beloved Puddin' finally vanished from her mind. For the first time since she'd seen that awful video she like there was a outside of this darkness that settled in her heart and mind.

Everyone stood up to watch the couple come inside.

Peter came in first.

He's radiant, Harley thought. Like a force of nature.

Tall and handsome in a black suit, green tie just like his eyes and his sword hanging over his back. On his head he wore a green archer's hat. The same kind the cartoon Peter Pan wore. Seeing him like this she felt safe, she knew even with all of Gotham on her tail, Peter would look out for her.

The music was fast and cheerful and sounded like the kind of music fairies would play, which made Harley smile even brighter.

She hadn't been this happy for someone else in a long time and it felt good. It felt nice to get out of her own head.

Everyone was cheering him on, clapping, laughing, celebrating the man that had taken them in when they'd had nowhere else to go.

The girls squealed and Gracie clapped excitedly.

Once he was on the stage the music changed.

It became softer, sweeter, mellow.

A hush fell over Neverland the way snow fell on a lonely winter evening. Everyone held their breath and looked to where Wendy came into the hall.

She was wearing a white petticoat-dress, with a small silver flowery pattern. The straps were thin and white, and a small bow-tie under her breasts made it complete. Her brown hair fell over her shoulders in elegant waves, her hair was decorated with small hair clips in the same flower shapes as the pattern on her dress.

But it wasn't the obvious design and beauty that struck Harley. It was the way she was looking at her husband, the happiness and the love for him written on her face clear as day. Her eyes blazing and all of her feelings showing for all to see.

Her eyes met Harley's and she grinned at her as if they shared a secret and Harley felt a rush of affection towards her.

When she reached the stage Peter pulled her up gently and kissed her forehead which made everyone make "aww" noises.

Jodie stood in front of a microphone, Peter and Wendy stood next to it, facing each other, holding hands.

Looking at the two of them, focusing all of her mental energy on them Harley thought she'd be able to believe in love again. This, what Peter and Wendy had, was real, genuine and true love. They wouldn't disagree, overreact and leave the other home and defenseless. He wouldn't hit her. He wouldn't try to strangle her. He wouldn't replace her within seconds.

Boy, did Harley need a drink.

"Peter, Wendy." Jodie stepped towards the microphone with more confidence than Harley would have thought she'd have in her. "We are here to celebrate 25 years of marriage between you two." There was loud cheering and whooping which made Jodie roll her eyes and the couple smile. "Back then you had traditional wedding vows, isn't that correct?"

"Yes." Peter said, leaning towards her, so he could speak into the microphone.

"And now today, before all of your loved ones, you'd like to renew the vows you made 25 year sago." Jodie waited for the cheers to die down. "Peter, would you like to tell Wendy how you feel?"

The same hush came over the Lost Boys again and Lauren gripped Harley's hand, watching the

ceremony with large eyes.

"Wendy." He began and Harley heard his voice quiver which brought tears to her own eyes. "When we first met, I knew you were the one for me. You keep me young and you bring so much joy into my life. You are Neverland's heart and I love everything about you. The past 25 years were the most amazing years of my life, I don't know how I ever lived without you, I love you and I'd do anything for you."

Harley fought hard against a memory of Mistah J saying those words to her.

Oh, you know I'd do anything for you.

Jodie waved her hand in front of her face, obviously fighting against her own tears, which made Harley giggle, because it was so relatable.

"Wendy?" She asked. "What would you like to say?"

Wendy made a sound that was half sob and half laugh.

"Peter." She said. "If I am Neverland's heart, then you're it's soul." She paused and someone from the crowd yelled:

"Hear, hear!"

Wendy chuckled. "Falling in love with you felt like flying." She blushed and turned to the Lost Boys. "It really did, I felt like a boy had come into my life and taught me how to fly. Just like Wendy from the story." She smiled, lost in thought. "The past 25 years were incredible, because you made every single day incredible. I wouldn't be me without you and I thank you for all the things you do for me and the things you taught me..." She took a shaky breath and Harley felt tears burn in her own eyes again. "You gave me family by creating Neverland with me." She managed o say. "I love you more than I could ever put into words, no matter what happens in our crazy, amazing life, I can always count on you, Honey, it's you and me."

"Thank you, Wendy." Jodie said. "You can kiss–" She wasn't able to finish the sentence, because Peter was already pulling his beloved Wendy into his arms and kissing her fiercely while she melted in his arms.

This bird is baked. Okay, honey. It's me and you.

She shook her head, willing the memory away. The man who would have done everything for her, who had risked his life to get her back, that man was gone. He was gone and had taken all of her hopes and dreams with him.

The crowd cheered as they watched the two people who had given so much, celebrate what was rightfully theirs.

"Ok!" Jodie grinned. "Let's remember that we're in public, ok? And there are kids here."

The older Lost Boys laughed at that, Harley giggled. Lauren made a sour face whch made her laugh even more. She could do this, she could concentrate on Peter and Wendy. Hearing them say words he had said to her was nothing more than a minor set-back.

Focus, Harley, she told herself. Focus on them.

Peter and Wendy broke apart, grinning madly and then turned to the crowd.

"Peter and Wendy, your rightful leaders and the founders of Neverland!" Jodie cried out and they all cheered again.

The couple bowed before them and then went off stage to sit down at the table at the very front, facing the stage and elegantly decorated.

"Now, Peter, Wendy, as your Lost Boys all of us owe you so much." Jodie said and Harley could hear how she was trying to hide her emotions, trying to keep herself in check. "You took us in, when no one else would, you believed in us and you love us unconditionally. We want to make this day as special for you as we possible can, so I would like to welcome Lauren, Rachel and Gracie onto the stage!"

The room exploded into applause which all three of them enjoyed thoroughly. They walked up to the stage in absolute fearlessness and when the violinist started playing a sweet, sad song once again, they began dancing their ballet routine. Again, the beauty of it, the girls discarded by the world and home in Neverland were the most graceful, elegant beings Harley had ever seen. She watched as they twirled and jumped and did everything absolutely perfectly. Peter and Wendy hugged Lauren and Rachel and Gracie hurried away, to Harley, which warmed her heart.

"You were amazing, Gracie!" She whispered and Gracie blushed as she sat back down. The other two joined their table again and Jodie called the next group on stage. For the next hours Harley really got to know the Lost Boys.

They sang, they danced ballet, hip-hop,contemporary...they did sketches, they did magic tricks. Everyone who belonged to the Neverland were amazing,truly and utterly amazing. They were all incredibly talented and seeing this she suddenly became nervous about her own performance in a way she hadn't felt up until that moment.

She knew she was beautiful and she knew how to move her body, but she wasn't like them. She was an entertainer, but she didn't have grace. When it was her turn to step onto the stage she accepted the mike from Jodie, who gave her an encouraging smile.

When it was her turn she felt like she had when she and Mistah J had been at the chemical vat. So exhilarated, so sure of what was going to happen and still full of doubt. The delicious mixture of fear and anticipation that had been her lifestyle from that moment on. Every moment with the Joker had been like that.

She was the second to last act and people were getting antsy, hungry and the younger ones didn't want to sit any longer.

What if I can't sing? She thought, what if this is all a mistake?

Her eyes met Wendy's and she remembered what she had said to her just last night. She could see the love and support she had for Harley.

And just because Mistah J didn't like her singing didn't mean it was all bad, she was Harley Quinn, she could at least put the crowd in a good mood, if nothing else.

"Wendy asked me to sing." She announced and was relieved to find her voice steady. "So if this is real bad ya can all blame her." They laughed, Wendy and Peter the loudest. "Feel free to sing along."

She looked at the pianist and nodded once. And then started playing the tune she had made herself familiar with these past 24 hours.

"There was a time when I was alone..." Immediately the lost Boys fell in and soon the entire hall was singing and Harley realized it didn't matter if she could sing or not. Porter had made the right suggestion. What mattered now was that she lead the lost Boys as her own people and they all sang together, meaning every single word.

When she was done everyone applauded and maybe it was wishful thinking, but Harley thought it sounded louder than after the other performances.

Wendy had tears in her eyes as she came up the stage and hugged Harley tightly.

"Thank you, Harley, that was beautiful."

"We're so proud of you." Peter added and pulled her into a tight embrace that took her back to her earlier, happier childhood memories where there was love and safety.

"Alright, guys!" Jodie was back at the front, Porter stood beside her, his own mike in hand. "This special song is one we picked out for Wendy and Peter."

Harley sat down next at her table again and Lauren announced:

"That was freakin' awesome, Harley!"

"The song we chose is thousand years by Christina Perrie." Porter actually blushed when he said this. "It's a bit cheesy but I mean..." He grinned, making a demonstrative gesture with his arm. "Have you guys met Peter and Wendy?"

Everyone laughed. Harley giggled, she was happy. She was glad she had decided to sing the song. She was a part of Neverland now.

The piano started and her smile was still on her lips when Jodie started singing the first few lines that tore through Harley Quinn's bruised heart the way a knife cuts through butter.

"The day we met, frozen I held my breath. Right from the start I knew that I'd found a home for my heart beats fast, colors and promises."

I can't breathe, Harley thought, her mind spinning.

She needed to get out now.

"How to be brave, how can I love when I'm afraid to fall, but watching you stand alone. All of my doubts suddenly go away somehow. One step closer..."

She shot up, hitting the table, causing a loud noise that turned some heads, but not all.

"Harley?" Lauren whispered and Gracie looked at her wide-eyed, confused.

"I have died every day, waiting for you. Darling, don't be afraid, I have loved you for a thousand years, I'll love you for a thousand more."

Air, Harley thought, I need air.

She was already crying before she'd managed to get out of the dining hall and away from everyone else.

She heard cheering when Porter joined the song and continued running as fast as she could in her heels.

Dr. Quinzel. You know, I live for these moments with you. What do you got? I got you a kitty. So thoughtful. There is something you could do for me, doctor. Anything. I mean, yeah. I need a machine gun. A machine gun? What do we have here? I did everything you said. I helped you. You helped me by erasing my mind what few faded memories I had! No, you left me in a black hole of rage and confusion. Is that the medicine you practice, Dr. Quinzel? What are you gonna do? You gonna kill me, Mr. J? What? Oh, I'm not gonna kill you. I'm just gonna hurt ya... really, really bad. You think so? Well, I can take it. I wouldn't want you to break those perfect porcelain cap teeth when the juice hits your brain. You...You're not leaving me. You're not leaving me! You, you, you are a pain in the ass. I have done everything your said, every test, every trial, every initiation. I have proved I love you, just accept it. Got it, got it, got it. I am not someone who is...loved. I'm an idea, state of mind. I execute my will according to my plan and you...Doctor, are not part of my plans. Please let me in. I promise...Let me in. I promise I won't hurt you. Promise? Promise? Don't hurt me. I'll be your friend. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. My heart scares you and a gun doesn't? DO IT! If you weren't so crazy, I'd think you're insane. Go... away. Question. Would you die for me? Yes. That's too easy. Would you...would you live for me? Hm? Yes Careful. Do not say this oath thoughtlessly. Desire becomes surrender. Surrender becomes power. You want this? I do. Say it. Say it. Say it. Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty... Please. God, you're so... Good. Puddin'! You got all dressed up for me? Oh, you know I'd do anything for you. By the way...I've got some grape soda on ice, and a bear skin rug waiting. Yeah? Boss, we got a problem! This bird is baked. No. Okay, honey. It's me and you. Let's do it. Puddin'?! Let's go home.

She fell to her knees outside in the Gotham night, sobs racked her body, the sounds from her sounding like an animal, more scream than sobs. She couldn't live without him, she just couldn't. If any thugs came to murder her they could have her. She didn't care any more.

"Harley!" It was a woman's voice. "Oh Honey." Wendy knelt down beside her. "Honey, I'm so sorry."

She looked up.

"This was too much for her." "

Harley?" Peter's voice was reassuring, steady. "Can we do something to help you?"

"Oh for fucks sake." In her sobs she almost laughed. Jodie was back. "Is she serious right now? Are you serious?"

"Jodie." Wendy had her warning tone.

"I'm sorry! I tried, ok? But this is ridiculous. He's just a guy, Harley, ok?" Jodie raised her voice to drive her point home. "You're crying on the floor because of a boy." Harley breathed in greedily. Jodie wouldn't understand, couldn't understand. She had never known love like this in her life. She had never lost love like this in her life.

"Here." It was a different voice. Harley looked up and through her blurry eyesight she recognized Porter and he was handing her a bottle.

She dived right in, pouring the alcohol straight down her throat. The taste of Vodka took her back, into Mistah J's arms, into a happy, laughing crowd, into the life she'd been born to live. Her eyes were still spilling tears like there was no tomorrow, but the drink helped stop the sobs. The others were talking in low voices and she knew what they saying, what they were thinking. She was hysterical, crazy. But wasn't that the entire point? Wasn't that what made her Harley Quinn? Someone was stroking her hair in a motherly fashion. "

Wendy." Her words were slurred. "Your dress."

"Oh, now you care!" Jodie snapped. "You ruined the ceremony, running of like some lunatic in the middle of the song, what were you thinking?!"

Harley held out the bottle of Vodka in her direction and Jodie regarded it with a disgusted look and backed away. "Jodie doesn't drink." Wendy said still stroking Harley's curls. "That explains so much."

"Shut up!" Jodie snapped. "Why is everything always a joke to you?!"

"Have ya met me?" Harley asked and giggled, feeling drunk and loving it. Wendy took the bottle from her and she was about to complain, but then the older woman put it to her lips and drank with relish and Harley smiled.

"You're cool."

She handed the bottle back. "I know."

Jodie groaned annoyed and at down on Harley's other side, her face still a tight, annoyed grimace. There was a silence in which Wendy and Harley drank, passing the bottle between them. It was nice in it's own way. Finally it was Harley who broke the silence:

"I know people think he manipulated me...or my former me." She looked at the ground beneath her knees. "That he twisted my mind and tricked me into falling in love with him. That he pretended to love me to use me." Wendy and Jodie were still on either side of her and as she looked back up at the starry night tears glistened in her eyes. "But the truth is I loved him, the moment I met him." She laughed once humorlessly, wiping the tears that had escaped from her eyes. "I was clear-minded, levelheaded and sane, but the second my eyes met his I was done for." Harley paused and then whispered: "I fell in love with him right on the spot." She turned to Jodie. "The lines you sang, they..." She swallowed. "They really hit home."

"Of course they did." Wendy whispered. "I'm so sorry, Harley. I know how much you loved him."

"Thank you." She whispered. "That really means a lot to me."

"No!" Jodie snapped. "This is all bullshit, ok?!"

Harley giggled and Wendy sighed: "Jodie, maybe you should go back inside–"

"No!" Jodie stood up from the ground and pointed an accusing finger at Wendy. "No I am done with this drama. Harley, I'm sorry, you're heartbroken, I really really am, but can you please...for the love of all that is good in the world, please just get angry?!"

Harley blinked and cocked her head to the side, staring at her.

"Fine!" Jodie exploded. "He didn't manipulate or use you, if you want to believe that, go ahead, but when you arrived at Neverland you had marks in your face and you neck! Don't pretend he didn't hurt you, we all saw that he did." Harley dropped her gaze briefly but then looked up again. "He kicked you out because he thought you cheated on him?! He didn't even give you a chance to explain. He left you all alone, then he threw you out in the streets like fresh meat into a pack of wolves! And!"

Jodie's hair had come undone in her rage and Harley leaned forward, taking in the madness she was displaying.

"And then he replaced you with some random chick! Stop crying over him! You can do better!"

Wendy's mouth had popped open in shock and surprise. She turned her head slowly to Harley, looking for her reaction. Harley burst out in laughter and stumbled to her feet.

"You!" She cried out, pointing a finger at Jodie. "I love you!"

"Eh..." Jodie seemed speechless.

"Come on girls!" Harley clapped her hands. "Follow me, I have a great idea!"

"Harley, wait!" Wendy sounded worried and got up from the ground. "Where are you going?"

"We are going to pay Mistah J a little visit!" She giggled and the other two looked at each wide-eyed in shock.

"What?!" Jodie spat. "No!"

"That's crazy, Sweetheart." Wendy agreed.

"It's perfect!" Harley giggled and marched ahead. "Luckily, I have my best ideas drunk!"

Hi guys! Has aynone seen The Suicide Squad yet? I'm so confused :D what did you think of this chapter? How will Mr. J react to Harley and the other girls?