Chapter 23: No Sleep

"All of the others cancel out each other

and it's always you left.

You were my no sleep,

cried for weeks,

favorite ex."

Maisie Peters, Favorite Ex [2019].

Harley was so tired she felt dizzy, but she pushed through.

Porter and his boys had found six crew members.

She had talked to them. She had explained what kind of a game Peter and Wendy had been playing.

The stories they told in return made her blood run cold.

Hook had been the absolute opposite of Wendy She had ruled over them with an iron fist, using fear and manipulation to get them to do what she wanted.

Jodie had been asleep most of the day, as she had been on watch-duty all night.

So Harley had listened to the stories of the new Lost Boys by herself. Remembering her time as Dr. Quinzel and how much her patient's stories had stuck with her then and made her unhappy too.

She gave the newcomers clean clothes and food and showed the where they could have a shower. Much to Mistah J's annoyance they were all put on Rung 3 immediately.

During dinner she was surprised to see Gracie sitting beside him. A part of her was horrified and another part was touched.

"She's been talking to him." Jodie muttered as she sat down in front of Harley with a plate full of scrambled eggs. "Tomorrow I'm taking her out to perform again, I'm not indulging this friendship."

Jodie poured salt over her eggs. "You're not eating." She noticed.

"Gracie spoke to him?" She repeated. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

"And he spoke to her?"

"It was actually sweet. She was scared about Peter and Wendy coming back and he promised to protect her. And you."

Harley didn't reply. She'd counted on his protection once before and then he'd pushed her out the door and actively put her in harms way.

"So the crew?" Jodie asked. "How many did you find?"

"Six. Four girls, two boys." She nodded to a table where the new arrivals were sitting. "I spoke to each of them. What they've been through, it was horrible. You should talk to them, their stories sound lot like yours. You might be able to help them." Jodie's mouth was set to a thin line but then nodded.

"Sure."

With that she took her plate and went over to their table. Harley felt nauseous as she stared at her food. The unspeakable things that had happened to those girls made her feel scared. She kept on going back to that moment, shortly before she'd blacked out.

What are you waiting for? Rape her already!

"He cleaned all of the toilets!"

She opened her eyes again and saw Gracie sitting on the chair that been used by Jodie moments ago.

"What's that, Honey?"

"Mistah J cleaned all the toilets and he said bad words and he's so funny!"

She sighed. She didn't want Gracie to get too attached to him, because he wouldn't stay, she knew that.

"He said you're soulmates."

"Of course he did."

"I like him!" Gracie jumped off the chair and ran back to Mistah J who smiled genuinely when she rejoined him.

"Hey." Porter sat down in front of her. "Are you ok?"

"No." She said and he smiled sadly, reaching for her hand and pressing. The truth was she so very far from ok she had the urge to throw herself into one of the vats and never resurface.

"Wanna talk about it?"

"Nope."

He smiled, pulling his hand back. "For what it's worth, he seems to be serious about his intentions. I think he really does want you back."

Harley didn't respond.

She knew the Joker was serious about loving her.

That was the problem.

Porter led him to a tent he was currently sleeping in by himself.

"I'm on night-shift watch-duty tonight." He explained. "So you'll have the tent to yourself."

Mistah J nodded and didn't reply.

He was tired and annoyed.

Harley hadn't even looked at him today.

Even after Gracie had gone over there and put in a good word for him. An idea she had come up with all by herself.

The Joker was starting to hate Neverland. He felt like it was changing him and he didn't like it. He didn't want to sleep on the ground in the Chemical Plant of all places.

He wanted to be home and he wanted Harley with him.

After the fact that everyone but him was at least in rung three, even strangers they had literally picked off the street today, he was pretty sure it would be nearly impossible to work his way up the ladder.

Exhaustion hit him hard, the way it usual did after a night with no sleep and he lied down on the thin mat he had brought himself to this ridiculous place.

They were tight on security, so he couldn't even sneak out and sleep at home and then come back.

The phone he had stolen from one of the dead men last night vibrated in his pocket.

"Johnny, what's up?"

He actually hoped there was an emergency, anything to get him out of this strange world.

"Well..." Johnny was chuckling. "I don't know how to say this, boss. But I've found Wendy."

"What?!" He sat up wide awake already, balling his hand into a fist. He had watched the torture video over and over again and he longed to have this woman's blood on his hands. "Where?!"

"She was committed to Arkham Asylum tonight."

The Joker was rendered speechless.

"Boss? Are you still there? Did you hear what I said?"

"I heard."

"Are you..." Johnny cleared his throat. "Does this make you happy?"

"I don't know, maybe." He rubbed his face. "I guess. It's a hellhole, but its also safe. Why was she committed?"

"Well she kind of went on a spree."

"What? Where?" How cut of was this strange world that no one had heard of this?

Johnny sighed deeply. "In a hospital. Boss she um...she murdered five infants."

Upon hearing this an image of little Gracie appeared in his mind, which was ridiculous because she wasn't even a baby.

"She killed all these boys saying if she couldn't have her son, then no one else was allowed to? I don't know it was crazy, they had her admitted immediately."

"Thank you, Johnny." He hung up and lay back down on top of his sleeping bag and mat. Tomorrow he would tell Harley about this. He chuckled in the semi-darkness, it was kind of ironic that she would end up in the one place where Harley and he had met. He appreciated the irony.

But Arkham would try to help her and the Joker wanted her tortured and then dead. He didn't want her locked up in a safe place with cameras and security.

Maybe they could break her out once Harley felt better again.

Then they could do to her all the things she had done to Harley.

That thought comforted him.

Besides, Peter and Wendy were separated so he would be able to take him out at least. Even if she didn't want to see him right now, they were physically closer than the other couple. That gave them the upper hand.

Just as the whispers and giggles in the half-darkness quieted down and Mistah J could feel himself going to sleep he was forced wide-awake by a sudden blood curling scream that echoed through Neverland.

"Get off me! Don't touch me! I said no!"

"Harley, it's me! Wake up!"

"Jodie? What's going on? Is she ok?"

"Harley, wake up! Come, on!"

Harley jerked awake and tried to strike at the hands holding her down, only to realize it wasn't Peter, but Jodie.

She couldn't breathe. She needed to get out of the tent right now. She stumbled and hurried to the edge of the platform, looking down at Neverland and the vats.

It was a different platform.

Peter and Wendy weren't here.

Their true natures had been exposed and she was safe here.

"Get him out of here, Porter! We will deal with this Mr. J, she doesn't want to see you."

"Lady I will shoot you in the face right now, if you don't let me through!"

Harley was filled with relief at the Joker's angry voice.

"Jodie?" She called and tried to sound calmer than she felt. "Jodie, it's ok, I want to see him."

There was a shuffling sound and Jodie cried out:

"Ow! You're such a dick!"

"Well you take up too much space!"

Harley sagged to the ground and then he was beside her in seconds.

"Harley." He whispered. "What happened?"

"I had a nightmare." She muttered drawing her knees closer to her chest and hugging herself.

"I thought so."

"Do you remember when we were up here?"

The Joker smiled in the semi-darkness and his blue eyes lit up. "Which time?"

She giggled. "The second time."

He rolled his eyes and laid back, staring at the stars above them. "Of course, how could I ever forget that?"

They'd had one of their worst fights. It had gone on for hours. They'd both thrown things. Finally Harley had stormed off.

She had wondered through town, gone to a few bars, danced and gotten into a fight.

Finally she had ended up right here at the place where it had all started.

She'd arrived here only to find Mistah J sitting on the platform, staring down below, deep in thought.

"We talked all night." She lay down beside him, there was space between them, their arms weren't touching. "And you started telling those awful jokes."

"Knock-knock jokes are a classic, Harls." He looked over at her, watched her watching the stars. "And you laughed at each one."

She smiled at the memory. "Yeah, I did."

The former Clown-Couple was quiet as they stared up at the dark night sky. There weren't many stars to be seen, but some lights shone bright.

"Wendy's in Arkham." Mistah J said and she turned her head to look at him.

Their faces were inches apart and she tried her best to keep her breathing shallow. She didn't want him to know how much this made her heart race.

How badly she wished he would kiss her.

"What?" She whispered. "How? Why?"

"She..." His gaze went up to the sky above them, searching for the right words, she knew that. "She murdered...she...bloody hell." He muttered, obviously struggling to get the words out. "She killed babies. In a hospital. They took her straight in."

Harley's eyes swam with tears.

"Did we do that?" She whispered. "Is that on us too?" Her voice broke at the last word and the Joker had to restrain himself for reaching out to touch her. She had specifically said she didn't want him to.

"Nothing she did is on us, Harley."

She turned again, so she was lying on her back and he could hear her crying.

"According to her it is. Because we killed Ronan, she killed all these other people, Kaitlyn, Kurt, Lauren..." She sobbed. "She was 11 years old, did you know?"

"Gracie told me." He muttered.

"This is all such a mess." She whispered, pushing her hand through her hair. "Everything is so fucked up."

"Wendy is fucked up, Harls!" He propped himself up on his elbow. "So we killed her son. What if he had died in an accident? What if a doctor had botched his surgery? She would have gone after all of them too. She's been justifying her actions with love, but really she's just as rotten as you and I."

She laughed and sobbed at the same time. "That's not very comforting."

"Well it should be." He muttered. "None of this is your fault. She's a sadist who enjoys hurting others. She probably would have lost it, even if Ronan had survived."

She wiped at her eyes, trying to wipe her tears away.

"Maybe."

Her quiet sobs tore at him and he reached out to stroke her hair, but then pulled his hand back again. He could do nothing, but lie beside her as she cried.

"She was so terrible to the other kids." She whispered. "The things she made them do..." She shuddered beside him. "I don't know how they'll ever get over it."

He studied her closely.

"So that's what happened?" He asked. "You're playing Dr. Quinzel again and it's getting to you?"

"Mistah J." She sighed. "Stop it."

"You know that this job is too much for you, Harley. You were sobbing in my sessions, because of the things your other patients told you in Arkham. Someone else has to save these kids, not you."

"I'm stronger than I was before."

He sighed. "I know. You are. But you're not indestructible."

"I'm their queen. They look up to me."

"Jodie is your co-queen, let her deal with it. Look at what it's doing to you."

She breathed in and out slowly. She was still staring at the stars and she wiped at the tears running down her cheeks.

"That's not what the nightmares were about." She said.

He didn't reply. It wouldn't really matter what they had been about. They both knew he was right. He had been back then as well when he'd clearly seen her struggling under all the emotional weight of the other inmates burdens. None of her colleagues had seen her slipping, but he had. There was the whistling sound again in the pipes that she had started to get acquainted with.

"Puddin'?" She whispered in a desperate tone and turned to look at him.

"Yeah?" He moved closer. The urge to be closer to her was too overwhelming to fight.

"You saw the video, right?"

"Yeah."

She fought to keep her gaze and he could tell she was fighting hard against her tears. "I blacked out." She closed her eyes, took a deep breath and asked: "Did Peter rape me?"

"That's what this is about?" He asked sitting up. "No, Harley, he didn't. Do you think he'd still be alive if he had? I would have found him and torn him to pieces by now."

"You're sure?" She sat up too and he could tell she was shaking.

"He..." He hesitated for a moment. "He couldn't go through with it." Harley closed her eyes for a moment, reveling in the relief of these words. "Apparently he needs the struggle. I mean you were completely out of it. They tied you up and that was basically it." He smiled. "I got your message."

I forgive you, I love you.

"I remember." She whispered.

She wanted to kiss him so badly. She had missed him for so long. Although she tried to fight against it, she leaned forward and he did too.

"Puddin'..."

Their lips were inches apart, when somebody called:

"Harley?"

She backed away from him.

"Rachel, what's wrong?"

The young girl walked over to the clown-couple. "I'm sorry." She muttered sleepily. "It's Gracie, she's crying."

Harley stood up from the ground without hesitation.

"Good night, Mistah J."