Randy went home to catch up on sleep. He woke up to a non-hungover morning and called Sharon again. "Morning Shar. How's Stan?"
Sharon rubbed her eyes and took the call, speaking quietly. "He's doing a little better. I got a few good hand squeezes back last night and felt his chest move, like he wanted to breathe. I really think he knew I was there. It was wonderful. He's been resting since."
Randy couldn't help but smile. "That's great! Maybe Kyle will wake him up more this afternoon. Do you need anything from the house before I drive over?"
"Maybe you can bring over that book I had on my nightstand, thank you." Sharon glanced down at Stan again.
Randy nearly started crying again. Sharon was acting normal. Soon she would be back to yelling at him for dumb stuff, while both his kids, healthy, would roll their eyes at the two of them. "Sure, do you want something to eat as well? I'll be right there."
"Well, I have a bit of a chocolate shake craving. I don't want to be mean and eat a chocolate shake in front of our son since he can't ... I'd love to have one. Maybe he will sense I have one and respond again." Sharon ran her hand through his hair. "Oh, maybe some of those French toast sticks from Wendell's. Sorry I just got a major sweets craving."
"Don't apologize. I'll bring you anything you want. Love you." Randy made kissy faces into the phone as he was hung up on.
Alexandra came into her morning shift, she checked Stan once more. Normal blood pressure and pulse. Good blood oxygen. She followed the doctor's orders and slightly decreased his oxygen from the ventilator. "Good morning Mrs. Marsh." She said, "Has your son done anything interesting last night?"
"Good morning." Sharon said. "Oh, it was wonderful! He actually squeezed my hand! And I know I felt him try to breathe. I know he knows I'm here. It was so amazing; I almost can't believe it."
Alexandra smiled at her. "Starting today we're lowering his oxygen and his sedative. Hopefully you'll see more spontaneous breaths from him that will turn into regular breathing. He will become more alert. We're looking for him opening his eyes and responding to pleasant and familiar sounds. Please let me or Dr Ross know if you see anything."
"Oh, I will. I feel a little more hopeful now. He will get better. He has to." Sharon stood up to hug Stan's nurse.
"He's very lucky. Children are the most resilient patients. We're PICU, we deal with tragedy all the time." Alexandra reruns the hug and goes over to touch Stan's hand. "I'm really looking forward to seeing him make a full recovery and walk out of here to the rest of his life."
Sharon can't help but feel warmed by these words. "I look forward to it too, believe me. He usually is an active boy. Loves playing outside. I look forward to that being what exhausts me, chasing after him. Not sitting at his hospital bedside."
Stan stirred from his cocoon, a slight gasp. Whatever was controlling him has let a little of his grip go. Some terror pricked at him as he realized he might be on his own. Thrown out there without his training wheels. He took another breath. Painful, his lungs and body were on fire. He stirred slightly, wondering what was going on.
He hadn't breathed on his own for three days. It was painful and easier to just let whatever control him. He summed up and tried one more time before going back under for rest. The strings at his hand tugged slightly and he looked up into the button eyes of a honey-colored teddy bear in a hospital gown. "Keep trying, Stan. You're almost better." The bear said.
"I don't like it." Stan said, sitting next to the bear off a craggy cliff. "It makes my chest hurt."
"The strings were making you better but you're learning on your own again. You want to play again. Keep trying."
Ruffy came up and gave Stan an encouraging lick on the cheek. Stan patted him before trying once more.
Alexandra looked down. "Two breaths right after another. He's recovering fast." She double checked with her stethoscope. "I'll let his doctor know. Excuse me. Also, your husband is here, he has food so I can't let him back yet."
"I'll go meet him out, thank you." Sharon bent down to Stan. "I'll be right back ok, honey? I'm going to see Daddy really quick."
Randy sat at the little table off to the side. He had brought Sharon a chocolate shake, French toast sticks, bacon, eggs, hash browns, coffee, orange juice. He brought the same thing for himself plus a kids pancake meal. He hoped it wasn't obvious he was trying to make Sharon eat.
"Randy, hi." Sharon said wearily.
Randy leaned in to kiss her, probably a little too inappropriately for a children's hospital waiting room but he was so happy at Stan's and seemingly, Sharon's recovery. "How's he doing?"
"Well, he hasn't moved too much yet this morning, but I have to remain hopeful. Maybe he will respond to Kyle today. Thank you for the food, it's way more than I need though." She picks up the shake and French toast. Her eyes fill with tears, before she can eat. "Stan loves French toast sticks and chocolate. I hope he gets to enjoy them again soon."
Randy went to pat Sharon's hand. "He will, also I got him pancakes which came with this." Holds up a little red and blue race car. "Cool huh? Reminds me of his hat." Randy pushes the car, so it rolls over to Sharon's side of the table, she catches it quickly. "Maybe we can put it in his hand, and he'll play with it. It has spinny wheels."
"That's a good idea, let's hope it helps." Sharon turned the car in her hand, smiling at her husband as she went to take a bite of her food.
"Anything for him, and for you." His eyes met hers. "Did you want me to stay with him today so you can sleep?"
Sharon yawns as she eats. "Yes, yes that would be a good idea. I'll see if Kyle wants to come by again too, he's been such a good helper in this so far."
"Stan gets a little better each time that kid comes around." Randy cracks a grin. "I was thinking. When Stan is out of the hospital, we should throw him a big party. Invite all his friends, invite everyone we know."
"That would be a good idea. I don't want to overwhelm him though; we'll have to ask his doctor if a party would be overstimulating." Sharon dipped a French toast into syrup and took a bite.
"I was doing some googling. I don't want to worry you, but they didn't say anything about...long term effects on him?"
Sharon's head snapped up. "I didn't even think about long term effects." Her brow furrows in worry.
"No, no, never mind. I'm just being an idiot. He'll be fine, just fine." Randy stammered.
Randy had let Sharon go home for a few hours, expecting her back when Kyle would show up. He sat by Stan's bedside. His son's spontaneous breaths were spooky to him. At least he was trying. Randy put the car in Stan's hand and ran his little fingers over the wheels, hoping Stan would get the hang of the wheels spinning. He felt bad for upsetting Sharon again. He looked into Stan's face, his lips were returning to normal, and his eye bruising was lightening up. "You'll be ok, right buddy?"
Alexandra came in. "Kyle and Sheila are here. Send them in?" Randy nodded, getting up.
Sheila once again helped Kyle wash his hands and they enter Stan's room to relieve Randy.
"No dinner?" Randy said sadly.
"Sharon didn't want it." Sheila said as she hugged him.
"It's ok. I'll go pick up a burger." He said sadly.
Kyle looked up at Stan's dad. "Hi Mr. Marsh, I make Stan good today."
Randy surprised himself but he picked up Kyle and gave him a tight hug. He needed it more than the boy did. It helped that Kyle was about the same size as Stan. "Yes, you will. Stan needs you."
"Mama says he needs sleep. Sleep makes him get better. Strings help make him better." Kyle says as Randy finally puts him down on Stan's bed.
"Staaaannn! Stan, we play now. Doctor said to play." Kyle climbed up onto Stan and reached for his Ruffy and Teddy Bear.
"Remember Kyle, be gentle with Stan's tubes." Sheila brushed the hair off Stan's eyes. "Hi bubbe. You're looking better." She closed her eyes to pray again.
"Oh, sorry Stan. Careful, gotta be careful of strings." He sat next to Stan in bed, putting the Ruffy dog on Stan's lap.
Stan awakened in his violet prison. What he looked forward to was happening. He felt someone on top of him, a ball of energy. Kyle had a toy for him. Despite his joy, it felt like too much effort to try to breathe and look at the same time. Stan forced himself, again his lungs were on fire, would it ever feel the same?
"Stan! Stan wake up! Stan you gots strings on you." He sticks Ruffy in Stan's face and pokes him on the cheek.
Stan lifted his hand to swat Kyle's away. The hand landed on top of his chest. He forced himself to breathe once more. It came out more as a cough and he opened his eyes to look at Kyle.
"Stan! Hi Stan!" Kyle gave him a big smile. "Stan- I bought my horsey, see?" He shoves a horse toy in his face. "Stan, I'm not Dr Kyle. Not today. Today I'm cowboy Kyle. Yes haw." He bounced up and down.
"Kyle, be gentle! I'll take you home if you don't stop poking Stan in the face." Sheila went over to grab her son when she noticed Stan had one eye open. "Oh god. Should I call the doctor? Or his mother?"
Stan could see Kyle pretty clearly, he kept trying to reach for him, but his hands still felt heavy. He breathed in hard again, pushing against the pain. He wanted to play so badly. He was upset he couldn't. A tear came from his eye.
Stan was feeling faint, the room around him felt chaotic as he was being poked and prodded. He hated this. He didn't know where Kyle was but could hear his presence nearby. Kyle was sad he couldn't play with Stan. Stan felt like screaming back at his friend. The thing controlling him made him angry and if he had the strength, he'd fight it off. Oh, it was in his mouth. All he could do was take another breath, inhale was sharp, the pain started to not be as excruciating. He opened his eye one more time to search for Kyle.
Sharon arrives in the PICU looking winded.
Sheila had stepped back into the hall as a flurry of doctors came in to examine Stan. She saw Sharon appear and waved her through the door ready to take Kyle home since he was getting fussy as he couldn't be a "doctor" at the moment.
Sharon ran up to them. "Sheila, what's going on? What did I miss?"
"He's opening his eyes and focusing, and breathing hard, moving his hands around. They're examining him saying he's either a four or five? What does that mean?"
"He's at a four? Oh my- oh I can't believe it! That means he's responding better to stimuli, the number they want him to be at is a six. That's the magic number that means he might actually be okay." Sharon hugs Sheila and Kyle, as tears pour out of her eyes.
Sheila returns her hug. "They said he might have jumped to a five."
Sharon hurries over to her son's room to try and see him herself.
Dr Ross and respiratory therapist Victoria are discussing next steps for Stan, lowering his oxygen and another round of steroids. Alexandra smiled as she opened the door for Sharon. "Come in, I think he'll be happy you're here."
Sharon's rushed over and touches her son's face. "Stanley baby, hi. How are you? "She kisses his cheek. "I've missed you so much the past three days. I hear you're getting better. I'm so happy." She starts to cry harder now.
Stan opened his eyes to another familiar presence. He took another deep breath in, but once again it came out as a cough. He opened his other eye and blinked, looking at his mother. She looked so sad. His eyes watered and tears spilled down his cheeks as he took another breath in. He wanted to hug her, to play, to do what he wanted. He didn't want the thing to control him anymore.
Sharon is overcome with emotion as she sees her son looking up at her. "Hi baby. I missed seeing those eyes so much. They're so pretty. Ohh, it's okay to cry." She wipes his eyes. "I'm right here baby. We can both cry together."
Stan took another deep breath, and another, fighting the thing. It still hurt, super congested, but it was him doing it himself. More tears spilled out. He tried hard to lift his hand and it fell on top of his mother's.
Sharon smiles and brings his hand to her own face, just to feel his skin like this again. "You are doing so good, baby. So good. You keep fighting and soon you'll get to go home." Sharon picks up Ruffy. "Look honey, look who it is, who is it?" She has the dog give Stan a kiss. "Ruffy can't wait to play with you again baby."
Stan can see Ruffy, large, furry and blue, nudging him and licking his cheek. "Good boy, come help me." Stan grabbed Ruffy's collar to try and push through the ice wall. He fell back in pain, eyes watering, another deep breath, rough but he tried again. And again. He wanted to play again so badly.
Dr Ross came over and placed his stethoscope on Stan's chest. Trying to decide. "He might be ready to be extubated by tomorrow."
"Oh, that's wonderful to hear! Hear that, Stan? You could be breathing on your own tomorrow! How exciting!" Sharon puts Ruffy down to let the doctor examine Stan.
Stan didn't like this guy and he felt scared to be prodded by him. He withdrew and let out a little cry. Another deep breath, one after another. He would keep fighting against the thing trying to control him. He blinked his eyes at his mom and tears spilled again. A low moan came out.
"He's trying to talk or cry. He might make it to a six by tomorrow." Dr Ross said.
Stan is overwhelmed and suddenly doesn't want this. He looks down at Ruffy. "Come on boy. We can't go until Kenny does." He starts to float back to the dark and scary place Kenny was trapped in. Ruffy lets out a low growl and takes a hold of Stan's shirt. "What, Ruffy? We have to at least talk to Kenny about this. We can help him too."
"I hope he's not in pain or scared as he's waking up." Sharon said worriedly.
Dr Ross thought for a moment "I know what will help. Will you sit back in the chair Mrs. Marsh?"
Sharon is unsure but kisses Stan on the cheek once more before sitting down.
Dr Ross went over to talk to Alexandra and the two of them lifted Stan off the bed, very delicately and placed him wrapped in a blanket to not disturb his wires in his mother's arms.
Sharon is filled with emotion, almost like when she held him when he was still in the NICU after he was born. She gently strokes his hair and rocks him as Ruffy is tucked under his arm.
Stan finally obeys Ruffy and goes back to the ice sheet. He can almost pass through it and feels more settled. He leans against it and gently closes his eyes. It doesn't hurt as much to breathe anymore. He calms down and his breathing matches the rhythm of his mother's. He snuggles against her.
The next morning at 11 they had gathered in Stan's room for his extubation.
The place Stan was in was clear and he felt afraid but angry. He could hear his mother's voice and would occasionally reach out for her or open his eyes, spotting her in the corner of the room. He was fighting the thing that used to control him and winning. He was in charge of his breath even if it still hurt on occasion. He reached his hand out once more for something familiar.
Sharon takes hold of his hand. "I'm right here baby. But soon I have to be further away so the doctors can do their job okay? But I'll be really close. Just listen to my voice. I won't leave the room, okay?"
Stan squeezes her hand and takes another couple of breaths in response. He opens his eyes to focus on mommy. Wishing for a hug one more time.
Sharon bends down to hug him. "It's okay to be scared, sweetie. But as soon as it's over, I am going to come over and scoop you in my arms, okay? And if you want to cry on me you can. I'll be in the room the whole time."
Dr Ross puts a hand on Sharon's shoulder. "Ok Mrs. Marsh. I'm going to have you step back. We'll call you up as soon as possible to comfort Stanley. Ok?" He smiled at her.
"Okay, okay." Sharon nods and steps back, nervous but excited.
Alexandra stood to Stan's left, oxygen ready. Dr Ross stood to Stan's right to observe and give treatment as needed. Dr Victoria stood at the head of the bed, instrument in place to remove the breathing tube.
After a count of three, Victoria placed an instrument into Stan's actual tube and gently removed it. Dr Ross put a stethoscope to Stan as the boy's chest puckered inward. "Shallow. Alexandra, can you?" Alexandra stepped forward giving a few rescue breaths with the oxygen mask until Stan could get his rhythm back under control. After another minute they checked again.
After another minute Stan was breathing much stronger. He coughed and sputtered and let out a cry. Alexandra placed him on his side and placed an oxygen mask on him. "Mrs. Marsh, you want to offer him comfort?"
Sharon hurries over, arms out. "I'm right here sweetie, I'm right here. You can cry, that's it, cry your little heart out baby."
Stan blinked and looked around the hospital room, scared at the strangers around him. He sucked in his breath again to cry some more, the thing over his mouth and nose helping. He looked up at Sharon as she hugged him. "M-m-maaamaaa?" He cried out in a hoarse voice.
Tears filled Sharon's eyes at finally hearing his voice again. "Mommy is here, mommy is right here." She hugs him close. "Mommy is never going to let you go, oh Stan baby. Oh, I'm so happy."
Stan continued to cry, he was so shocked and freaked out to be where he's at. "Mama." Dr Ross put a stethoscope to his back. "Excellent, you're making great progress Stanley. Keep this up and you'll be out of PICU by tomorrow."
Sharon continues to squeeze him. "Good job sweetie, you are doing such a good job. My big brave boy. Keep hugging Mommy." She places Ruffy in his arms. "Ruffy is here too. Ruffy is so happy you're back too. Good job baby, you are doing a very good job."
Stan had his mouth open looking down at his toy dog. He gives Ruffy a pat but the dog just responds back as a toy and not a real dog. He was still upset and confused. A nurse he didn't know bent down to talk to him. "Do you want to sit on your mommy's lap?"
"Uh huh." Stan nodded to her, his arms were still heavy but he tried to reach out to his mommy
Sharon picks Stan up and places him gently on her lap, tucking Ruffy in his arm. "Hi Stanley, how is my baby boy? I've missed you. I'm so happy you're feeling better."
Stan placed his head against his mom's chest, his cries deescalated down to a whimper. His breathing in rhythm with hers. "Mommy?" He said again with his rough voice.
Her heart beats faster now, this was the best 'mommy' she has heard from him. She can't help but cry and continue to hold him.
Sharon's crying is felt by Stan. He must have been bad again. "Mommy I... scared." He started to cry again.
"It's okay to be scared, baby. I was scared and sad you were so sick. But now you are getting better and now I am so happy. These are happy tears, sometimes people cry because they are happy too." Sharon starts to rock him gently.
"Mama scared?" Stan tucked his head against his mother's chest again, hugging Ruffy to himself.
"Not anymore. Mommy is happy, so happy that you are awake and talking and feeling better. Mommy isn't scared. She's so happy. You are such a good boy. So brave and special. I love you so much Stanley." She gives him a kiss on the forehead.
Stan took in another breath that turned into a long yawn. "Mama?" He looked up at her again, his eyes growing heavy, and he gripped onto her sweater, snuggling his face in.
"Yes, honey?" She kisses his cheek. He's such a perfect darling boy. She has missed his cuddles so much. She laughs and plays with his hair again.
Stan's eyes blink and slowly close. "Mama..." he says one more time before he settles in to go to sleep.
Randy enters a moment later, escorted by the nurse. Only Alexandra is still around to observe. "How is he Sharon, how did it go?" He's surprised to see Stan out of bed sleeping on Sharon's lap.
Sharon smiles as she reaches out an arm to hug her husband. "He's doing so good, Randy. So good. Oh Randy, I think we have our boy back."
Randy bends down to give Stan a kiss on the forehead. "He's breathing okay? Talking?"
"Yes, I almost can't believe it but he's coming around. He was talking, crying, reaching for me." She hugs Stan once again. "He's doing so good, Randy."
"This almost reminds me of when he was born." Randy kisses Stan on the head and goes to kiss his wife.
"Right? Just before they gave us the okay he could go home. Stubborn little thing did not want to feed or put on any weight. Then when he finally latched... oh what a relief it was. Three years later, scaring us again."
"Stubborn little guy. Told ya you were a fighter." Kisses Stan again. "I'm so happy you're going to be okay."
Sharon smirks at Randy then looks back at Stan. "Oh Stanley, why are all you Marsh men so stubborn? Hmm?"
"Keeps the Marsh women on their toes." Randy laughs and kisses Sharon again, hugging her and Stan at the same time.
"At least it makes life exciting." She kisses her husband back.
Randy looks down at Stan. "No more excitement from you for a while, Stan. You scared the crap out of us." Randy kisses Stan on the head one more time. "I can't believe he's going to be okay."
Stan's eyes fluttered awake. He looks up at his parents. "Mommy? Dad? Scared?"
Sharon smiles at him and brushes back his hair. "Hi Stanley. No, we aren't scared. We are very happy. We are all happy and feel relieved you are okay. I am so happy to hear your voice again."
Randy looks down at his son. "Hi Stan. I'm glad you're okay."
Stan looked up at his parents. "Kyle? Doctor Kyle?"
Sharon laughs. "Oh yes, we need to tell Doctor Kyle you're awake, don't we?"
"Kyle...rescued me." Stan says weakly.
"He did, didn't he? He did such a good job!"
"Fireman? String bear? Chinpokomon?"
"Oh yes you got a new chinpokomon didn't you? Digamoon?"
"Mommy no."
"Did you get Shoe again?"
"Mommy shhh." Stan puts a finger to his mom's lips, which causes her to crack up.
"Daddy? Race car?"
"Yes, daddy got you this." Randy picks up the little red and blue race car and hands it to Stan.
"Spinny wheels!" Stan said, smiling for the first time.
Randy picks Stan up now and hugs him. "Yes, son, you remember. I'm so happy you're ok."
"Sweetie, do you remember anything else when you were asleep? What else happened when you had your big long nap?" Sharon smiled as she sat up.
Stan frowned for a moment. Something registering in his mind, he would always hate hospitals and snakes. "Violet. Dark, scary. Kenny was there."
Randy looked up at Sharon. "Kenny?" He whispered, afraid since that was his son's deceased friend.
"Kenny? Honey, what do you mean Kenny?" Sharon asked, confused.
"Kenny wouldn't let me...Kenny didn't let me. Kenny told me to go play with Kyle. That he didn't want me to play with him." Stan's eyes filled with tears again. "Kenny said I had to play with Kyle instead."
Sharon gives Randy a scared look.
Over in the corner, away from the little family reunion, a dark purple and gray form stood in the corner. Kenny's eyes narrowed but was curious as he watched Stan with his parents.