Laserblast and Lad Boxman

Chapter one: Laserblast and Lad Boxman go to Canada.

Author's Note: BASED ON A TRUE STORY.

One day Lad Boxman decided to visit Laserblast in America. He flung himself out a canon and crashed into Laserblast's house. "HEY BITCH. WE'RE GOING TO CANADA."

Laserblast was drunk and passed out. Lad Boxman kicked his side. "WAKE UP, GOD DAMN IT!"

Laserblast stirred awake and sat up. "Huh wha? o hai laddy dadyy"

"WE'RE GOING TO MY HOMELAND CANADA, YOU FUCKING STUPID DRUNK BITCH!"

"Huh o ok"

"EXCEPT YOU AMERICAN FUCKERS ARE BANNED FROM CANADA FOR BEING FUCKING STUPID DURING THIS FUCKING PANDEMIC, SO WE HAVE TO GET MARRIED SO YOU CAN BE ALLOWED IN."

"O ok."

They both got married by a dumpster with the help of a Judge. Judge Crinkley Wrinkly. "YOU MAY NOOOOW KISS THE BRIDE!" The purple cat creaked.

Lad Boxman kissed Laserblast. Laserblast had a bouquet of flowers and tossed them at Lad Boxman's face.

"YOU STUPID DRUNK BITCH, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO THROW THEM INTO THE AUDIENCE!"

The only person in the audience was Sparks and Greyman.

"Woo! Laser! Congratulations, BFF!" Shouted Sparks, happy for her best friend. "Mimosas later tonight!"

Laserblast smiled and waved at her. "MEXICO!" He laughed. "YES! Girls night out later tonight, Sparks!"

"HECK YEAH, LASER!"

"FUCK NO, WE HAVE NO TIME." Screeched Lad Boxman. "WE ARE GOING TO FUCKING CANADA NOW, YOU STUPID DRUNK BITCH."

"But I want booze."

"HERE IS A FUCKING BOTTLE OF VODKA."

"O ok."

Lad Boxman threw the bottle into the canon luring Laserblast inside it to which Lad Boxman pulled the string and blasted him into the air.

Grayman looked around. "WHERE'S THE CAKE AND BOOZE?"

Sparks sighed gloomily as Laserblast was blasted into the sky. "I need a drink. Let's go to Chuck-E-Cheese."

"What? That place is a bar?!"

"Yeah. I witnessed some red guy shatter into pieces over a table while some weird skull guy attempted slamming into him… not a pretty sight."

"What the fuck kind of cesspool is Chuck-E-Cheese?!"

"A rat runs it, of course it is sewer themed.

Elbow was nearby making those weird noises he makes whenever Sparks speaks. "Oh. Hmm. Mmm. Hurm. Ohh. Ohh. Uhh."

"Shut the fuck up, Elbow." Sighed Sparks as she and Greyman went to Chuck-E-Cheese.

"OKAY MY FUCKING TURN NOW." Shouted Lad Boxman as he stuffed himself into the canon to blast himself back to his homeland. "ARRUUUGH!"

"Oh no my ass exploded." Said Laser as he flew through the air clutching his bottle of vodka. "O yah my vodka." He drank it while in the air before he eventually crashed at Lad Boxman's house splattering his vodka, glass shards, laser helmet, blood everywhere.

"Huh wha?" He muttered upon the floor. "Who? Where am I?"

Lad Boxman flew in next landing on top of him. "YOU'RE IN FUCKING CANADA NOW!"

"Huh o ok not again." He sat up scratching his head before stepping over to a window to look out. "What the fuck is that white stuff outside?"

"IT'S FUCKING SNOW, YOU STUPID DRUNK BITCH!"

"Wha? Not antrax? Isn't that all antrax?"

"NO, IT'S ICE FROM THE SKY, GOD DAMN IT."

"Whoa, free ice from the sky?!" He went outside to touch the snow only to slip on some ice and crash into a wall breaking his left arm. "AAAAHH!" He screamed.

"YOU STUPID DRUNK BITCH!"

TO BE CONTINUED.