AWAKENING, Chapter 34: Heart to Heart
The dinner party was a smash. Peter, seated between Adele and Danielle, was chatty, charming, and hardly stammering as conversation glided easily between French and English and from sports to politics to culture. Louis and Nora had each other in giggles, and Henri and Julien had Mavis thoroughly charmed. Josette and Jean-Claude chatted merrily with everyone. Gaston and Suzanne did too, except when they were locked in long, lingering looks with one another.
When Danielle got up to excuse herself between the entrée and dessert, Peter looked at Julien and tipped his head to the door. "Smoke break!" Peter declared as the two of them got to their feet, and made their way to the door of the crowded dining room.
Nora started getting up too. But Peter pressed a hand on her shoulder as he passed by her place at the table. "We only have Gitanes, sorry," he said.
"Ugh!" Nora declared, pulling a face. "That smell! That bite!"
"This is why I don't smoke," Louis replied.
Peter scoffed. "You smoke! You just don't buy your own cigarettes! You cadge off other people!" he said over his shoulder.
"Qu'est ce que c'est 'cadge'?" Louis wondered. Peter was already out the door as Nora explained the word. Louis, with a wide grin, regaled her with a story about how an extremely bored Corporal Newkirk once set himself a challenge of borrowing or stealing a cigarette from every man in camp at LuftStalag XIII, and succeeded in just three days.
With Julien on his heels, Peter strode down the corridor. They leaned their backs into the wall to wait. Cosette came by to brush against their trouser legs, and Peter picked her up to make a proper introduction to Julien, who stroked her tentatively. Her escapades at the last dinner party had made a less-than-favorable impression on the guests. Finally, they heard a toilet flush and water running in the sink. Peter put Cosette down and together he and Julien met Danielle outside the bathroom door.
"Oh! Is it a queue?" she asked as she stepped out.
"No, we have a question," Peter said. "Actually, J-J-Julien has the question, don't you mate?"
Julien looked at Peter, apparently stricken with indecision. "Peter!" he said. "This was all your idea!"
"Alright, alright," Peter said. "Danielle, wh-wh-where can Julien buy something, um, fr-frilly for Josette to wear?"
Frilly? Frills were most certainly not in style. Danielle looked around helplessly. "A department store?" she guessed. "Le BHV? They have everything. But surely she can pick her own clothes…" Which hopefully would not include frills, Danielle told herself silently. Josette seemed so well turned out, but there was no accounting for taste.
"No, something um, uh…" Julien began.
"Ah, um…" Peter elaborated.
"What is wrong with you boys?" Danielle said. A smile formed at the corner of her mouth as she realized they were embarrassed about something. Was she ever this shy and transparent? Was Louis? She supposed they have must have been when they were in their 20s.
"Nothing. Nothing. It's just that it has to be… I mean, it has to help keep her here instead of wanting to go home… it needs to be …" Julien bumbled.
"It needs to be sexy," Peter finally said. "For night time." He got the words out and immediately looked down to study his shoes.
Danielle stifled a laugh, even though Peter and Julien both looked adorably shy. "Oh, good God. You want lingerie… sexy lingerie? Why didn't you just say so? Do you have a budget in mind?"
"Uh, ah…" Julien said. Peter was searching his pockets for cash.
Danielle finally laughed. "Never mind. I think I know her size. I'll get something for you. You don't want her to go home? Why would she go? You both have to work."
"She wants to go home and plan the wedding over the next several weekends," Julien said. "But I want to be in Paris at weekends for the bicycle race and the tennis. We can go to Troyes in August. Just not yet."
Julien's eyes cut over to Peter, and the pieces suddenly fell into place for Danielle. "Oh, you'd rather go after Peter leaves for Londres."
"Yes, that," Julien said, grateful to finally be understood. "And also…"
"And after the tennis and the Tour," Peter filled in.
"It should be a lot of fun," Danielle acknowledged. "It's been a very long time since we've been able to gather for a sporting event without worry." Then she looked at Julien. "Are you ready to get married, Julien?"
"Of course," he answered. "I've been with Josette for years. Our whole lives have been leading up to marriage. I'd just like a little more time…"
"A little more time is always good," Danielle sympathized. "We all rush through life, don't we? There are some things we need to slow down and savor. Like friendship," she added, with a nod toward Peter.
Julien and Peter looked at each other. Yes, friendship, they both were thinking.
Danielle stopped for a moment and gazed off. Distractedly, she brushed her dark blond hair off her shoulders.
"We rushed into it, Louis and I," she began. "I was too young, and we were both too hot-headed. We're lucky we didn't have children yet, or the divorce would have been much harder."
Danielle turned back to face Julien. "Romance is very important, but so is communication, Julien. So don't just try to distract her with pretty things, alright? Get her the pretty things—you'll both enjoy that, I assure you—but tell her why you need to slow down. Promise?"
Julien gave her a solemn nod. "We set the date for New Year's Day. It seems so soon."
"Then tell her," Danielle said, patting him on the arm. "For all you know, she's feeling rushed, too. You both need to feel absolutely sure, not act out of a sense of duty or destiny. This is the 20th century, Julien. We're more than the expectations our parents set for us."
"Are you saying you don't…" Julien asked.
She held a finger to his lips and withdrew it quickly. "Julien. I'm not saying anything of the kind. But this is a big decision. You need to live first. You need to be sure. Tell her." She smiled. "I'll still get the lingerie, though. If you're sleeping together, you do need to spice it up once in a while."
Peter slapped Julien on the back at that observation. "There, what did I tell you? Danielle understands these things. Slow down, mate. Romance the girl."
XXX
That night, after all the guests had gone home, Peter and Mavis stood together on the balcony off Louis's large living room. Nora had expended her seemingly boundless energy on her last day in Paris and had gone to bed right after dinner; Louis and Danielle had slipped off to his room hand in hand an hour later. The walls were thin, and Peter and Mavis held back to give them some privacy, but chances were high that they were both sound asleep by now. In any case, Peter and Mavis were the only two people who were still up.
They could see the lights of Paris twinkling on a cool, clear July night. The scent of rosemary from bushes in front of the building wafted up to the balcony. A wind came up, and Mavis shivered. Peter wrapped an arm around his sister, but another gust arose, and they retreated inside. Peter closed the French doors behind them and gave the lock a twist. Mavis took a seat on a sofa and he sat on the one next to her and propped his feet on a coffee table.
"Peter!" Mavis said with a shocked expression. "Feet off!" She smacked his legs and he obediently removed his feet from the table—and his shoes from his feet. He stretched his legs across to Mavis and settled his feet in her lap. She rolled her eyes, but didn't complain.
"I'm going to miss you, Mave," Peter said softly.
"You'll see me soon enough, and Nora too," Mavis reminded him. "Only a few more weeks. It was good to be here, Peter, to see the things you're learning and to meet your friends."
Peter shrugged diffidently. "You already know LeBeau, of course," he said.
"I do. He's your best friend, I can see that. Four years together…"
"Five," Peter interjected.
"…FIVE years together in such a difficult situation would bind you together, wouldn't it? You're mates forever." She leaned forward, holding onto his stockinged feet. "Do you think he'll marry Danielle?"
"God, I hope so, but he's so bloody dim sometimes. He WAS married to Danielle, did you know that?" He smiled at Mavis's look of shock. "No, I suppose it doesn't really come up, does it? Yes, they were divorced before the war. I think he's a bit reluctant to remarry, but he'd be a fool to let her get away. She's magnifique."
"Listen to you, the expert on marriage," Mavis ribbed him. And speaking French, she added silently.
Peter shrugged again, this time with a cocky grin on his face. "I think I know a thing or two about women," he said. "I've been surrounded with them all my life. What do you think about Suzanne, Mave?"
Mavis looked flustered, then gathered herself. "Well, I think she's lovely, of course. But… Peter, you're not thinking…?"
Peter tried to read her expression, and then laughed sharply. "Of marrying her? Of course not, Mavis," Peter said. "She'll be here; I'll be in England. We don't really have time to figure out if we're compatible."
"Hmm," Mavis said. "I'm pretty sure you're not Peter. Let her down easy, alright?"
Peter could feel himself flushing. He sat up, setting his feet down on the floor. "What do you mean, we're not compatible? She could… we could… I…"
Mavis shook her head adamantly. "No, Peter. She's falling for Gaston, and you should let her go gracefully. They belong together." She leaned forward and took her brother's hand. "She is lovely, Peter. But the right person is out there for you. You might even have already met."
"I don't know about that," Peter replied, trying to ignore a sudden swishing sensation in his stomach. "I would know if I'd met her."
They went quiet as they sat inches apart on neighboring sofas. Peter's stomach was fluttering, and he was fighting an urge to blurt out that he had a secret. He couldn't, though. He was afraid of what she would think of him. Knowing what he'd become might break her heart; losing her love would crush his.
Mavis, meanwhile, studied her brother, tipping her head with a soft smile on her face. He was thinking, she could see that from the way he pursed his lips. It was an expression that was uniquely his, and she sometimes had to fight back a giggle when she saw it. But he was also glancing downward and tugging at his shirt sleeves, and that told her he was struggling with something. He was nearly 21, she reminded herself. Life was full of changes and choices, and he was about to start navigating the world on his own. He was probably a little afraid, she realized. She could see that Paris had been good for him, and leaving was not going to be easy.
"It's natural to be a little sad, Peter," she said, taking hold of his wrist. "You've had so much fun with Louis and you've made wonderful friends here in Paris. I'm sorry I didn't get to know Tomasz…"
"I'm not," Peter answered. "He's j-j-j-just not a good friend, Mave."
"Hmm. And now there's Julien. He's a very nice boy," Mavis said with a warm smile. "You two have become very close friends, haven't you? And you've known one another how long?" As a little boy, Peter's stammer had often held him back from making friends; Mavis was pleased to see it no longer seemed to be the obstacle it once had been.
"Only a month," Peter said, a smile crinkling the corners of his lips. "But sometimes you just know about a person. You can see you're going to be great friends. That's what it was like with us."
"Yes, sometimes you just know without saying anything," Mavis echoed.
Peter lit a cigarette for himself as Mavis waved one away. They sat silently again for a long moment in the stillness of their last night in Paris as everyone else slept-even the cat, who was emitting contented little sighs from the ottoman where she lay curled in a tight ball. Finally, Peter spoke.
"Mave, you'll always love me, no matter what, won't you?"
Mavis stared back in astonishment at the unexpected question. If Peter wasn't seven inches taller and two stone heavier than she was, she would have gathered him into her lap and tickled him into submission for asking such a stupid question.
She settled for rolling her eyes at him, expecting him to laugh, but he didn't. Instead, to her surprise, his gaze deepened and his eyes looked watery. So Mavis got up from her sofa and sat beside her brother, taking his hand in her lap. She looked up at him, directly into his eyes.
"I will love you as long as there's a sun in the morning and a moon at night, Peter," she replied. "You can always count on me, and you'd bloody well better not forget it."
At that, Peter laughed and wrapped his arms around Mavis. "I know that, Mave," he said. "I was j-j-just testing you. Luckily for you, you passed."
She thumped him in the chest with her fist and leaned her head onto his shoulder, laughing. She felt him inhale deeply as he held her tighter, but she didn't see him close his eyes and tilt his head back in pure relief.