I was born to Squirrelflight and Brambleclaw, my brothers being named Lionkit and Jaykit.
I was dubbed as the smartest and most ambitious one as a kit, being a stickler to the warrior code. Lionkit was the strongest and Jaykit was always the wisest, getting his wisdom from Starclan-knows-where.
I felt fascinated as I stared at Leafpool sorted the herbs, and thought that it was what I wanted to do.
I was wrong.
The moment I stepped into the den, I never felt exhilarated nor thrilled, just a sense of longing as I stared at the apprentices tackling each other in the dust, and could feel my claws sliding in and out.
I eventually switched spots with Jaypaw, and felt so excited to be doing what I was meant to do, with a mentor in a senior warrior named Brackenfur.
I felt nervous but exuberant as I was chosen to go to the Tribe of Rushing Water to help them fight off invading rouges.
I was confused and disbelieving when Jaypaw said me, him, and Lionpaw were all part of a prophecy. I felt electrifying to know I was special - but befuddled because I didn't know what power I had.
"Do you promise to protect and defend the clan, even at the cost of your life?" I took in a deep breath. "I do." I felt enthralled when I was named Hollyleaf, and filled from head to paw with pride as I received my warrior name.
I felt horror as I was trapped into the fire, and Ashfur's raged blue eyes glaring at me.
I know Mom turned him down, but why is he still so angry?
I was told right after.
I felt devastated when Squirrelflight said that her and Brambleclaw weren't me, Lionblaze, and Jayfeather's real parents, but instead Leafpool and Crowfeather.
I felt anger that I had been lied to my whole life, and am born of a forbidden relationship, meaning I wasn't even supposed to be born.
I felt divided when I knew I had to murder Ashfur to keep quiet about the secret, but wracked with guilt after my claws had already pushed him in the river.
I let my anger, my fear, and my confliction drive me, and I revealed the secret at the Gathering, ignoring the betrayed and horror-filled glances.
I saw Cinderheart and Sandstorm looking at me with one question in their eyes. Why?
I didn't care.
I ran into the tunnels, promising to never look back, and missed death by a whisker.
I met Fallen Leaves, and the way my heart pounded around his kind green eyes had me feeling a sensation I shouldn't be feeling for a cat generations older than me.
I eventually returned to the clan, and was glad that they accepted me, even after the truth of Ashfur was revealed.
I breathed my last breath saving Ivypool. I knew she was always overshadowed by her sister, and remembered the feeling when I learned that I wasn't part of the prophecy but my littermates were. After all, I was overshadowed too. It was the feeling of uselessness, the feeling of having no self-worth.
Ivypool had a bright future ahead, and I promised I would give my life for the clan or anyone in it when I got my warrior name. It was time to live up to it.
I was grateful that I was accepted into Starclan, despite all my mistakes.
I was the first one to welcome Ivypool into Starclan.
I am Hollyleaf.
hey i'm back! I'm sorry for the long wait, but hopefully you're excited to see another chapter and a few more posting, before the rewrite will also be available on this platform :)
Let me know you're thoughts down below in the reviews, and expect a reply within 48 hours! - White_Winter
