"You're going to be kissing Michiel?"
She frowned. Not only did he sound pissed, but he hadn't even said hello or good morning. It was as though he thought she answered to him or something. Or that she belonged to him somehow. "Well, good morning to you too," she said.
"Good morning. So you're kissing him?"
She sighed. "Rayna's kissing Liam, Chip. And what the hell?"
He was silent on the other end of the phone. "It just sounds really, I don't know, intense and hot," he said finally.
"It's supposed to be. Did you read the whole scene? Do you not understand what led up to it?"
"I did read the scene and I do understand what led up to it. But it's a really deep kiss."
She laughed then. "Sweetie, just because it's written like that does not mean it will happen that way between Michiel and me. We're actors. We're doing a scene. The kiss isn't real life." He was silent. "Chip, I get that the kiss between us was real. But that's because we have a relationship. I don't have that with him. I would never consider sticking my tongue in his mouth." She considered mentioning that Michiel was married but realized that was not a good argument. "Chip?"
She heard him breathe out on the other end. "Okay. You're right. It just, I don't know."
"It made you jealous?"
"No. No, not jealous. It just felt like, well, it felt...problematic."
"It's a scene and it's not real life and even when we do the scene, it won't be a real kiss. At least not in the full sense of the word." She had to admit to herself that it gave her sort of a giddy, girlish feeling, thinking he was worried about it. "Maybe you should ask one of the guys who wrote the episode to rewrite it, if it concerns you that much." She was at the studio to record that day and someone beckoned to her. She held up a finger to let him know she'd be right there.
"Well, I can't do that," he said.
"Look, I'm recording today and they're ready for me, so I need to go, but maybe we can talk later?"
"Yeah, maybe. I'll call you."
"Okay. Talk to you later." She could tell he disconnected without responding and rolled her eyes. She wasn't going to let it screw up her day though. If he wanted to talk more about it, he'd call. She suspected that he'd get over it, after he'd really thought it through, and nothing more would be said. She put her phone in her purse, then stood up and walked towards the recording studio.
She spent the afternoon at the mall, trying on wardrobe choices for upcoming episodes. When she and Susie got there, the outfits they'd selected were in the dressing room, along with a selection of jewelry items to choose from. She rarely wore anything more than once and needed a variety of styles. Concert clothing, casual at home clothing, dressier clothing, cool stuff to wear when she was out and about. In particular they wanted to be sure they were set for one of the outfits she would wear in the episode they would be filming before the break. Nordstrom had roped off an entire section of dressing rooms for her to use, which gave them some privacy. Most of the items were shipped from other stores, so she was checking the fit. Ideally they would fit perfectly, but if a nip or tuck needed to be made somewhere, the alterations person would be able to handle it quickly.
She walked out to where the big mirror was located, wearing black pants, a short-sleeved black top, a vest with some embellishment, and boots. It was for the scenes with Rayna and Liam. She stood in front of the mirror, Susie and the Nordstrom stylist watching. She made a face and pulled at the sleeves with her fingers. "I don't like this," she said. "I don't think it looks bohemian enough."
"Since when is Rayna bohemian?" Susie asked.
She smiled at the reflection in the mirror. "Okay, maybe that's the wrong style. But she's an artist. She might be a country artist, but she has style. Everything she wears looks casually elegant and trendy." Susie walked over and rolled the sleeve up on one side.
"So what about sleeveless?" she asked.
She turned a little so that the other arm was hidden, then pulled a little at the vest. "Yes," she said. "I think that's better." She then pointed at the boots, a perfectly cute pair of black cowboy boots. "But not these. I think something more urban. I think Rayna should be country cool for this, not country bumpkin." That had been a personal thing with her. Connie didn't mind wearing cowboy boots, but she had always had a sense of who Rayna was and she usually tried to steer Susie away from cowboy boots. She wasn't always successful, but she tried.
Susie seemed to be thinking about it and finally looked at her. "I think you're right. At least for this outfit. It's a little more glam and I like the idea of a more modern boot look." She turned to the stylist. "Can you see if you've got anything in stock that might work?"
"Absolutely. Let me go check."
As she headed for the sales floor, Susie called out to her. "Bring several pairs if you've got them." She turned back. "I probably should have asked for a sleeveless black top too, just so we could see, but I feel like we've got one." She smiled. "Does everything else fit?"
She nodded. "The pants are actually perfect. And we knew the vest would work." The pants fit her to a T. She sometimes needed altering for those, but the fabric in this pair had some give, which meant they fit everywhere.
"I think this is going to be the perfect outfit for flirting with Mr. McGuinnis, don't you?"
She thought about her earlier conversation with Chip and laughed. "Yeah, I think you're right," she said. Michiel was practically the only person who'd been part of the cast that Chip hadn't truly warmed up to. He was cordial, not unfriendly, but it had been interesting to watch. From her perspective, Michiel was a charming man. That he was young and good-looking, and a little flirty, just made him more so. She put that aside and walked over to where the jewelry was. "Let's take a look at some over-the-top jewelry Ms. Jaymes might wear on a night out, shall we?" She grinned at Susie as they picked up various pieces and she tried them on.
On her way home she thought again about Michiel and Chip's comments about the kissing scene. Michiel had been at a number of the gatherings she'd gone to with friends. She had actually taken him a few times, when she and Chip were not together. Not as a date, but as a coworker and someone she liked. Her friends had liked him and pulled him into their circle whenever he was in town. She sometimes thought that had he been available, she might have had more of an interest in him. In some ways he was like Chip – he made her laugh and she felt comfortable with him. He was incredibly charming and he had that European way of making someone else feel like they fascinated him. He would pay close attention, asking questions, offering comments, making the other person feel special.
She sighed. It was ironic, she thought, that the one thing that made her mind her manners with him didn't seem to matter when it was Chip. She thought probably it was that Michiel was a lot like Liam and Rayna saw it as a harmless flirtation, something that made her feel good about herself when her world was spinning off its axis. She never stepped over those particular boundaries, although she had with Chip. She wondered what made it different, but it was probably that there felt like a true connection between the two of them, something much deeper than a surface flirtation with a handsome younger man.
Chip didn't call her though. She was a little annoyed at first, then decided she wouldn't worry about it. he was being ridiculous. Plus she disliked when he acted possessive. She knew she would see him at the table read and they'd probably have some time to talk. Or maybe he had thought about it and realized he was overreacting.
When she got to the room, she looked around and didn't see him, so she went ahead and got coffee and a plate of fruit. She found a place to sit and then opened the script in front of her to quickly review her scenes to see if any changes had been made. Based on the read, there could still be more changes before they got the final script and started rehearsing, but she was glad to see there was little difference. She only had a couple of scenes with Chip – one quick backstage scene and then as Rayna was getting on the bus, when Deacon showed his jealousy. When she had read through the second scene initially she had noted for herself that Rayna had not known Deacon had seen her in the hotel lobby with Liam, which would mean she'd be clueless as to why he was annoyed with her.
When she looked up, she was surprised to see Chip sitting across the table from her. Usually he would sit next to her. He was staring at her and she frowned. He gave her a look that she interpreted as an irritated shrug and she just shook her head, turning then to David Alford, who had sat down next to her, and began chatting him up.
She was getting lunch when Chip approached her. He stood right behind her and quietly spoke into her ear. "Can we talk after we're done today?" he asked.
She didn't say anything at first, picking up a bottle of water, and then taking a few steps away from the catering table, before she turned to look at him. She tilted her head slightly to the side. "I thought we were supposed to do that yesterday."
He huffed a little, his hands on his hips. "I got busy."
"Well, I've got Yoby and Olivia here so I can't really hang out afterwards."
He frowned. "Tonight then?"
She shrugged. "Sure." She smiled a little. "Unless you 'get busy' again." He scowled. "Remember where you are, Chip. You shouldn't be mad at me here."
He relaxed his face then. "Okay. Tonight."
It was after 9 and she was waiting for Chip. He'd texted that he was on his way. She thought about his demeanor during the table read and smiled, shaking her head. He had scowled during the read of the interaction between Rayna and Liam at the bar and then later, in Liam's room, after Rayna had had a fair amount to drink. Chip had flicked his eyes between her and Michiel, which made her laugh. He could really bury himself in the character and the storylines, which she actually enjoyed. It was important to her to make sure they were believable, actually that she was believable with anyone she had a scene with and that that person was believable as well. It was why it mattered to her to really understand her character and have a sense of who they were as a person. She'd been fortunate to work with other actors who felt the same and she'd been happy to know Chip was another one of that kind. He seemed to have some difficulty separating what was Connie and Chip from what was Rayna and Deacon, though.
She heard the knock on her front door and went to open it. He was standing on her porch, with a little bit of a defensive posture, his right thumb jammed into his back pocket and a sternness to his face. She smiled. "Hey. Come on in." She stood back and he walked through, his posture a little stiff looking. She closed the door and then followed him into the den. Then she stopped. "Looks like you still have something up your ass," she said.
He turned to face her, a scowl on his face. "You're just too friendly with him, Connie," he said.
"What?" She laughed sharply. "Are you kidding me?"
"No, I'm not. You're always laughing like a schoolgirl when you're around him. You flirt."
"A schoolgirl? Seriously?" She crossed her arms. "Does he make me laugh? Yes. Is he charming? Yes. Is he nice to talk to? Yes. But you know he's not available, right?" He looked away. "Chip?"
He looked back at her then. "You flirt with him."
She laughed. "I flirt with him? Really? I think you have me mixed up with my character. Rayna flirts with him."
He frowned. "You put your hand on his arm. You rub his back. You...you wrinkle your nose at him. Your whole body language just says you're flirting with him."
She sighed. "Look. I'm not going to have this conversation with you. I'm not interested in Michiel as anything other than a friend. Is he fun? Yes. But you're reading too much into this. And then the whole kiss scene. You just can't get that mixed up with reality." She walked over to him and put her hands on his waist. "You and I have a relationship, Chip. I'm not looking to change anything about that. And I surely don't want to end up in an argument with you about this. I told you the other night that I love you. Does that not mean anything? Because it means everything to me."
For a moment, he did nothing. Then he took her hands and breathed out slowly. His face softened. "It means everything to me too. I'm sorry. I'm being an ass."
She nodded. "Yes, you are. And there's no reason for it."
He smiled, looking apologetic. "I just hated the idea of...the kissing, I guess."
She smiled back. "I think you're going to have to get used to it, because I'm guessing it could be a while before Deacon and Rayna get together. So" – she took her hands from his and framed his face with them – "you're just going to have to be satisfied with kissing me in private. And knowing you're the only one I'd kiss like that." She smirked. "Or like this." She lifted up on her toes and kissed him. His arms slid around her, holding her close, and he kissed her back, long and hard.
He pulled back from her and breathed in. "I'm still not gonna like it though, but I guess I need to trust you."
She smiled. "I think that would be best." She laughed and he pulled her in and she wrapped her arms around his neck as he kissed her again.
She finally pulled her lips from his and then, taking him by the hand, she led him down the hall.
She loved the way his skin felt against hers. He'd learned that she liked the run up to sex and, although he did sometimes skip most of that, usually he obliged her. This was a night when he was taking his time. He was touching her in a way that made her moan and her toes curl. He was also kissing her and the palm of her hand was against his face. She was pressed against him and his erection was hard against her abdomen. She let her hand slide down over his chest and his stomach until she touched him there. He pulled his lips from hers and stared into her eyes, a half smile on his face as he moaned appreciatively.
She wrapped her hand around him, letting it slide up and down his shaft. His touches grew more insistent and he finally slid a finger inside her and she groaned out loud. "Oh, god," she whispered over and over, as he slid his finger in and out. His eyes were still fastened on hers and she couldn't look away. Her hips began moving and he was pressing more firmly against her.
"I can't wait, Connie," he murmured and he withdrew his finger. He rolled her on her back and settled on top of her. She let him go, clutching his shoulders with her hands, spreading her legs underneath him. He positioned himself and then slowly began to push inside her. He paused periodically to let her adjust and that just made the whole thing feel hotter. She lifted her hips, trying to urge him to keep moving. He leaned down to kiss her and she raised her legs and crossed them over his back, as he finally completely filled her up.
He started moving and she lifted her hips, pressing against him. She felt happy. She loved what he was doing and how he made her feel. And she loved him. it was something deeper than sex, although the intimacy they shared seemed to just continue to draw them closer. When they were like this, she could forget everything else. He fit her perfectly, in all ways, not just the way he fit inside her. She felt his hand on her hip, then sliding down the back of her leg. Then his hand slid up along the inside of her thigh, right at the perfect place to deliver some exquisite friction.
She felt the circles of pleasure envelop her and then she came explosively. Her legs unconsciously tightened around his back and she was rocking back and forth. He let go of her lips and she cried out as she felt the waves subsiding. Then he pressed his mouth against her shoulder and thrust inside her once more and she felt him throbbing inside her as he let go. She smiled up at him and he kissed her before rolling onto his back.
He breathed out. "I know I'm repeating myself, but wow," he said.
She looked over at him. "Mm hm."
"Can I stay?"
"Yes. I have to get up early though. 7-ish."
"I can get up then too." He turned towards her and pulled her close, then pulled the covers up over them both.
She ran her hand over his arm as she lay there silently. "Do you trust me, Chip?" she asked finally.
"Of course I do. Why would you ask that?"
She shrugged. "You seemed like you believed I would choose to be with someone else. Even though I haven't given you any reason to think that. I think actually it would be more likely that I would be the one who was left."
He was quiet, but he tightened his arms around her. He kissed her shoulder. "I don't mean to be that way. It's just – and I know you hate when I say things like this – but I look at you every time I'm with you and think I don't deserve this. And then I realize that I shouldn't even say that, that I have no right to say something like that to you."
She didn't really know how to respond or if a response was even needed. This – being in his arms – felt so good but she also felt like she was somehow on borrowed time. In a few short weeks, they would be on break. Even though both of them would be in LA, they would be apart for more than a month. She didn't want to make promises and she didn't want him to promise anything either. Maybe he'd spend that time with his family and realize he was jeopardizing it all. Even if he did love her, would that be enough to make him want to give that up. She had gone into this knowing what she was doing, even if she felt like it was something she couldn't walk away from. She knew the consequences and the longer they continued, the harder it would be. But she didn't want to think about it right then. "Let's just take it a day at a time," she said. "We have right now and we can see where we are tomorrow. And the day after that. And the day after that."
He kissed her on the cheek and held her close. As she lay there in the dark, in his arms, she felt a tear roll slowly down her face.
When the alarm went off in the morning, she breathed in deeply as she stretched in the bed. Then she turned onto her back and saw that she was alone. She frowned as she sat up and realized his clothes were gone. She scrambled out of bed and quickly pulled on the clothes she'd left on the floor and hurried down the hall. She heard a noise and then she heard Yoby's chatter. When she got to the den she could see both Yoby and Chip in the kitchen. Yoby was in his high chair, a spoon in his hand, and Chip was pouring a mug of coffee.
She walked towards them. "Hey," she said. Both Chip and Yoby turned to look at her. Yoby grinned and waved his arms, banging the spoon on the tray.
"Mama!" he cried. She walked over to him and put her hands on his little face and kissed him on the forehead. She saw that he had cereal scattered on the tray. She glanced at Chip, as he was sipping on his coffee and smiling. She turned back to Yoby.
"Did Chip get you up?" she asked, knowing he obviously had. Yoby responded by grabbing a handful of cereal and shoving it in his mouth. She looked back at Chip. "I didn't hear him. I must have been dead to the world."
He shook his head. "I woke up and could hear him just making a little noise, so I got up and went to get him. Figured I could help you out by changing him and getting him something to eat."
She walked over to him and put her arm around his waist, lifting her face for a kiss. "Thank you. When I woke up and you weren't there..."
He put his arm around her shoulder. "I wouldn't leave without saying something. So, you want some coffee?"
She smiled. "Yes, please." She watched as he got another mug and poured her coffee. She busied herself adding sugar and a little cream, then turned back. "I'm glad you stayed."
He frowned slightly. "Do we still need to talk?"
She shook her head. "We're good. I'm just glad you stayed." She smirked. "And made coffee."
He smiled, looking relieved. "Well, I'm glad I could help." He looked thoughtful. "I was thinking about something, since we don't have too much longer before the break. I know what you said about it maybe being hard to see each other in LA."
She nodded. "I do. I think we just have to see how it goes."
"I understand. But that's not where I was going with this."
Now it was her turn to frown. "Where were you going?"
"Um, I was just thinking that maybe, if you're okay with it, that I could come here every night, depending on filming. I mean, if that works for you."
She felt a little tingle and she smiled. "I think I would like that," she said.
"I just want to have as much time with you as I can."
"I would enjoy that." She glanced over at Yoby. "And I think Yoby would like it too."
He took a step towards her and put his hand on the back of her neck, pulling her close and kissing her forehead. "Then it's a plan." He breathed in. "I know you gotta get out of here, so why don't I handle Yoby for you while you take a shower, get dressed, whatever you need to do."
"I would love that. Thanks," she said. "I do need to get ready." She stood there for a moment, then headed for her bedroom. She shed her clothes and then pinned her hair up on top of her head. She started the shower and, when the water had warmed up, she stepped in. As she soaped up, she smiled, thinking about his proposal. Maybe I shouldn't be this excited about it, but I am. Having him spending time with her and Yoby, and then being in her bed at night, felt good. And if she wasn't going to get to see him during the break, it would be nice to have had the time together before.
She slowly opened her eyes. It was still dark and she wondered what time it was. She reached for her phone and saw that it was just after 6. She set the phone back down and then smiled as Chip wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her towards him. He kissed her neck and behind her ear. She laughed softly and turned over to face him. "Good morning."
He lifted his head slightly, looking around. "Is it actually morning?"
She laughed again. "Actually it is, surprisingly enough." He put his arms around her and she snuggled into him. He had spent the night every night that week and she had loved falling asleep with him and then waking up with him in the mornings. What made this morning more special was that he had stayed in Nashville for the weekend and she was looking forward to spending the whole weekend with him. He would finish filming before she did and would be wrapping up before the following weekend, which was the start of their break. She didn't want to think about whether they would see each other after that. She was just concentrating on these blissful, special days.
He smiled. "And it's Saturday," he said, giving her a long kiss.
She felt the heat between her legs. "Yoby's still going to get up at the same time," she murmured. He slid one hand under the covers and caressed her breast, letting his thumb graze her nipple. She made a little noise as he continued to do that.
"What time?" he asked softly.
He was rolling her nipple between his thumb and index finger and she moaned. "Not right away," she said, hearing the breathiness in her voice.
He laughed softly, as he slid his hand around to her back. Then he cupped her bottom and flipped her onto her back. He leaned over her. "You ready to get up?" he asked.
He felt hard against her hip and she wanted him inside her. She shook her head. "No," she whispered. She opened up her legs and he settled in between them. Her need for him felt overwhelming in that moment and she clasped his shoulders with her hands. "Fuck me hard," she murmured. She could see a smile cross his face and then he did as she asked.
She stood in the kitchen with her second cup of coffee of the morning and watched Chip and Yoby in the den. She could tell from watching him with her son that he was a good dad, because he was like a kid himself. Yoby's current favorite things were dump trucks and other construction equipment, and dinosaurs. She watched as Yoby scooted his dump truck around while Chip's dinosaur was chasing him. Yoby was laughing happily and Chip roared like, well, like a dinosaur might, she supposed. She smiled as she watched. It was a cold, windy day – not one she wanted to go out into – so she was glad they could stay indoors and that Chip was not only keeping Yoby occupied, but helping him burn off some of his toddler energy.
While she was happy that they would be able to spend the whole weekend together, she didn't want to get too comfortable with it. This would never be the norm and thinking about it gave her a sad feeling inside. She could easily get used to sleeping next to him and waking up in his arms, to deliciously rough morning sex and being able to extend foreplay time at night. It would be easy for her to let him get Yoby ready in the morning and then play with him or to try cooking together but then eventually giving up and doing takeout. It would feel normal, regular, comfortable, and that just wasn't something she had the luxury of feeling. And while she knew the longer this went on, the harder it would be to fall, she couldn't make herself let go.
She hadn't had this kind of relationship in a long time. The kind where she felt cared for and safe, able to be herself and let loose a little. That it would turn out to be with a man who was actually older than her had been a little bit of a surprise. He wasn't that much older than her, of course, but she'd been used to younger men. Younger men were fun, adventurous, less inhibited, and she had found that they satisfied her so much more in bed than older men had. Chip was kind of a mix though. He was insanely attractive and had that sexy, smoldering thing going on that she had come to realize was more his character than him, but in those intimate moments he was always able to conjure up his inner Deacon. He was still more conservative in bed, but she had taken the lead a little more than she would have normally, showing him what she liked.
Her face felt warm as she thought about earlier that morning, when she had asked him to be rough with her. The first time she'd asked it had been clear that rough sex wasn't really part of his repertoire. She supposed then – and still did – that he was pretty vanilla in that regard. A little bit of foreplay, which was mostly kissing, and then the main event, done in the traditional missionary style. She sometimes wondered if he'd been a little more creative in his younger days, but decided not to dwell on it, to instead show him what she liked.
He was kissing her and things were heating up between them. They were in bed, facing each other and he moved his hand to her back. She knew he was getting ready to turn her on her back, but that wasn't what she wanted. He was big enough that he was a snug fit inside her, which was a turn on for her, but she wanted something different, to take advantage of that.
"No," she murmured.
He stopped kissing her and looked at her, frowning. "No?"
She shook her head. "Not no sex, but not this way. I want you to be, well, rough."
"I don't understand."
She smiled. "I want you to fuck me hard." He looked confused, so she continued. "It would feel really good if you would be more, um, forceful. You know what I mean?" She liked how sex felt like that, when the guy was more in charge. It was hotter and her orgasms were always bigger and more powerful.
"Um..." She could tell he wasn't exactly sure where she was going with it. She thought maybe they could start with something more familiar for him, but in a way she wanted.
She turned onto her back, reaching for him. He looked confused. "Let's start like this," she said softly, not wanting to scare him.
"I don't want to hurt you."
She smiled. "You won't. I promise." He looked uncertain, but she reached down between them and touched him, guiding him into her. She kissed him. "Okay, start slow, but then go faster. Deep and fast." He nodded. She put her arms around his neck and drew him down to her, kissing him. She rocked her hips and he began moving. After a moment she whispered, "faster", and he did. She increased the intensity of her kiss and he followed along. It didn't take long for him to do what she wanted, and she relaxed into it, lifting her hips into him, urging him on.
She moaned, deep in her throat, as she felt herself getting closer to orgasm. To her delight, that seemed to urge him on and then she felt herself come, as she pressed her mouth against his shoulder, crying out with the intensity of it, and was barely aware that he had come as well. She held him close and he buried his face in her neck and they lay together like that for several minutes before he finally rolled away from her.
She was still breathing hard when she turned her head to look at him. "That was amazing," she said.
He chuckled a little, then turned on his side. "Was that what you wanted?" he asked.
She nodded. "Yeah."
He looked up at the ceiling for a moment, then looked back at her and laughed. "I was afraid you wanted me to whip you or something crazy like that," he said.
She laughed as well. "No, not quite that." She raised a finger. "And not every time. Just sometimes when I'm just feeling a little extra, I don't know, frisky or something."
He pulled her to him and kissed her. "I like you frisky. And I'll do that anytime you want."
She smiled to herself. He was as responsive as she could have hoped for with anything else she suggested. It was all almost perfect. Except for the one thing that stood in their way and she had no idea how that would impact them long term. She knew it would, though, especially if she let herself imagine a future. That, she reminded herself, was something she needed to be careful of. Just then Chip looked up and over at her, smiling. She smiled back, knowing he had her heart in his hands.
The night before he was leaving for LA, she had a hard time sleeping. Fortunately he was a pretty hard sleeper and would only very occasionally rouse to some half sleep-half awake state. He would mumble something incoherent, sometimes brush her arm, and then roll over onto his side. She would lay very still, trying not to wake him up completely, but in short order she would hear his even breathing, indicating he was back asleep. She would doze for a while, but it was certainly not restful. When she heard Yoby over the baby monitor, she sat up, feeling a bit like a zombie.
He rolled over towards her and reached for her hand, his eyes still closed. "You need help?" he mumbled. Luckily, she wasn't filming until that afternoon and his flight wasn't until lunchtime, so she wasn't racing to beat the clock.
"No, it's okay." He reached out and patted her leg, then clutched the pillow and buried his face in it. She sat there a little longer, just watching him as he relaxed back into sleep. He could fall asleep anywhere, she had learned, and easily. It's not fair, she thought. Then she sighed and got out of bed.
They stood at her back door and she looked up at him. "I'm going to miss you," she said. She suddenly felt like she wanted to cry and she breathed in deeply, trying to keep things under control. He reached for her, pulling her into his arms. She wrapped her arms around him and leaned her head on his chest.
"I'm gonna miss you too," he said, his voice a little husky. Hearing the emotion in his voice made her want to cry again. "But we're gonna figure something out so we can see each other in LA."
She lifted her head and looked up at him. "But it's the holidays. It might not be possible."
"We'll figure it out. I can't go that long without seeing you."
She sighed. "Well, I guess we'll see then." She forced herself to smile, not wanting him to see her emotions. "I hope you have a great time with your family and enjoy the holidays."
He kissed her. "I'll be thinking about you the whole time," he said.
She put her hand on his cheek. "Don't do that. I mean, you need to be totally present for your kids, for your family. I want you to have a happy time, enjoying all of that. Will you promise me you'll do that?"
He tightened his arms around her. "I'm still going to think about you. Is that okay?"
She looked at him for a moment and then nodded. "Yeah, it's okay. I'll be thinking about you too." He leaned in and kissed her again, this time long and deep, as though he wanted to memorize everything about it. She couldn't help it then, a tear rolling down her cheek.
He pulled back and looked into her eyes, then wiped away the tear. "This has been great, you know. Being able to spend all this time with you has been a gift."
She nodded and then smiled. "It has." Waking up with him every morning had been pure bliss. She had made herself push away all the misgivings and worries about what they were doing and just relax into the present. He was right – it had been a gift. Feeling like it was what normal should be, knowing that at the end of a day of filming that she would be waiting for him or he would be waiting for her. Having him next to her in bed every night and every morning had felt perfect. She stepped out of his embrace. "So, I need to get Yoby and head on to work and I know you need to go home and pack."
He smiled. "I'll be counting the days til I see you again. And I'll call and text when I can."
"Me too." She took a deep breath. "I love you."
"I love you, too." He kissed her one more time and then he turned and walked out the back door, leaving her standing there, missing him terribly already. As much as she tried to hold it in, she couldn't keep the tears from rolling down her face. She wondered what would happen during these 6 weeks they'd be apart and what they might come back to. But she couldn't think about it right then. She wiped her tears away and then went to get Yoby.
She got Yoby settled in, finding him a couple of toys he could play with while en route. She fastened her own seatbelt, then put a book in the seat pocket and got her phone from her purse, before putting it under the seat ahead of her. She handed her son a juice box and then leaned back against the seat, closing her eyes for a second.
"Would you like anything to drink before we take off?" She opened her eyes to look up at the flight attendant.
She smiled and shook her head. "I'll wait. Thanks, though." She looked down at her phone and then made a call.
"Hey, honey!" Carla cried when she answered.
"Hey, girlfriend. I'm on the plane."
"How long before you're here?"
"Mm, 3 ½ , maybe 4 hours, I think? It'll still be early afternoon when we land."
"You think you'll be up for dinner or drinks tonight?"
She thought about it. "I don't know. I'm sort of wiped out, you know? I was filming last night until almost 8 and then had to come home and pack for both Yoby and me. So I may just come home and crash. Can I let you know later?"
"Absolutely. And we have plenty of chances to get together."
She bit her lip. "I do want to have a good, long chat though."
"Uh oh. What's going on?"
"I may have made a little bit of a mess." She paused. "With him."
"Really? Connie..."
"I know, I know. You told me and I heard you and, well, it's complicated. We can talk when I'm home. This isn't really the place."
"Well, I hope you're feeling up for it tonight, because now I'm anxious to hear, but tomorrow for sure."
"Of course. So it looks like we're getting ready to pull back, so I'll call you when I get home."
"Alright. Talk to you later."
When she disconnected, she sat back and again closed her eyes for a second. "Mama!" Yoby cried, hitting her with his juice box.
She opened her eyes and looked at him with a smile. "All done?" He nodded. She took the box and handed it to the flight attendant walking down the aisle. She looked back at her son. "We're on our way home, sweetie."
"Home!" he cried and then turned his attention to his dinosaur, one that Chip had given him and was now his favorite. Thinking about Chip made her wonder what he was doing. He'd let her know when he had arrived in LA and told her he'd be in touch. She sighed. This break is at just the right time. I need to figure out what's next before I come back to Nashville.
The plane started to pull back from the gate then and she turned her phone off and put it in the seat pocket, hoping things would be more clear for her when she got back home.