This is it, this is it, this is it. They were expected at the first light of sunhigh; Speckledkit could see the sky brightening over Lakeclan and the hills. Soon Eclipseheart would be here for them. He pulled his head back into the nursery, sick to his stomach with fear.
"Oh calm down," Ashkit said, clawing the mouse Eclipseheart had brought them last night. His blunt kit paws scraped against the bone; he wasn't supposed to because he wasn't an apprentice yet, but he kept on trying to sharpen them. He believed Robinwave would let them be apprentices with all his heart, and had little patience for his brother's fear.
A fresh rush of adrenaline made Speckledkit's claws tingle as he scratched them through the mossy earth of the nursery. Any second now and they'd be going before Robinwave- if Robinwave cared. He might not. It could be their deputy and healer Barkshine; they wouldn't stand a chance if it was her. I should eat something. I haven't eaten since yesterday. That mouse could still have some marrow in its bones. "Ashkit, could I-"
He never got a chance to finish. The entrance of the nursery, woven by generations of paws was pushed aside, their foster mother's face staring in at them. Eclipseheart was aged, but her black and rusty red pelt had few white hairs in it, her unusual green eyes clear as a bird's.
"It's time," she walked in, purring. "Robinwave said he wanted to speak to both of you alone; I'll be waiting for you though," Speckledkit could tell she was nervous, because her usually sleek fur was poking out and looked a bit unkempt. He looked at his own paws and gulped, because that was a habit they both shared. But there was no time to fix himself up so he could look presentable, because Robinwave had called, and you didn't leave Robinwave waiting.
Grassclan's camp hung over the rest of the territory, watching over it from the bush and fern covered hills. No-one stirred in the undergrowth. It was too early for the dawn patrols to be up, and hours after the return of the night ones. He looked over at the healing den, which at this hour was a shadowy arrangement of grey rocks, the water holding pools pitch black. There wasn't any cats in there either; while Speckledkit usually tensed when he saw Barkshine, this only made him more nervous. She'd be up and about now. Which meant she was probably waiting around Robinwave for him to come. At least it's a private meeting, he reminded himself, steadying his paws.
Even Ashkit was quiet on their walk to Wildcat's Watch. Speckledkit nudged his brother and smiled, getting a beam in return. His brother might be a bit nervous, but he was also excited and hopeful. It made him feel hope too. Or at least it did, before they took the dirt trail up to the peak of the cliffs, where every senior warrior was waiting with Robinwave atop the Watch.
Robinwave was terrifying in the pre-dawn light, a dark shadow with deep orange eyes shining in the faintest sunlight. The other cats seemed small in comparison, dull smudges of darkness. He said nothing, revealed no expressions. His scent conveyed no strong emotion.
"I thought this would be private," Speckledkit whispered. Eclipseheart glanced back at him with worry, shaking her head. She had not been expecting this. But she lingered behind her kits, averting her eyes from the cats on the Watch.
"Thank you for letting us meet you, my lord," Ashkit said. Robinwave breathed; Speckledkit could smell the blood from a recent meal. Mixed with those bright orange eyes staring deep into his soul, it made him feel sick.
"Thank you for letting us meet you, my lord," Speckledkit said, knowing he'd said it far too late. Robinwave's claws flexed on the Watch's stone, sharp as a stoat's fang.
"What are you doing here? You were apprenticed a few seasons ago, I believe," Blossomnose melted out of the shadows and got right up in Eclipseheart's face, baring his teeth. She looked away from him, ears back- but not so back that she looked frightened. She was not a senior warrior, but she was still one of the oldest warriors in the Clan. She knew the senior warriors would hesitate to harm her in any way.
He snapped at her nose; she turned without a word. They might be hesitant to claw her, but that didn't mean they wouldn't. "Remember Eclipseheart; when I say a meeting is private, I mean it's private. Surely these kits could've found Wildcat's Watch by themselves. It'd give them a chance to show responsibility," Robinwave said.
Speckledkit shivered as his attention returned to the kits. Did not getting her by ourselves ruin our chances before the meeting even started? "Ashkit and Speckledkit," Robinwave's voice oozed authority, deep and resonant as the sea. "Today you're six moons old. Most kits would be given a mentor and start their warrior training automatically on their sixth moon. However, I decided a season ago that I would need to see both of you before letting you start your training. You are both outliers."
Outliers. A nice word for suspicious, unworthy, lesser. Speckledkit tried to match Ashkit's expression, which was sombre but still eager. He could feel himself fail. What does he want from us? They both followed the rules and stayed out from under the warriors' feet. They even helped Redpaw when she needed to practice tracking or stalking. Surely they'd done enough, surely...
"You have both behaved quite well," his heart soared; Robinwave's expression didn't change. "but, I still have some reservations about apprenticing you two. How can we know that you're trustworthy?"
"May I speak?" Speckledkit's heart sank; Robinwave nodded in approval at Rookheart, who's unsheathed claws were out in the grass. She hated any cat who related to the Betrayal, even the kits.
"These kits are tainted; Stonestripe broke the Code, and Waveclan only knows what their sire got up to. We'd be better off chasing them, and replace them with kits born as true, loyal Grassclan cats. That is all I have to say," Rookheart carved trenches in the mud, watching the kits.
"I agree with her!" Blossomnose cried.
"I could go either way; we will need to see what impact it has on the Clan's stability. The Betrayal is a fresh wound for us all, and while fresh apprentices would be good, Grassclan itself is the most important thing," Owlbreeze said.
Barkshine spoke next. "New apprentices would be good, but these ones are weak. Even if they weren't the Betrayer's blood, I wouldn't really want them in this Clan. Though perhaps they'd toughen up with some training; who knows?" She sneered at the kits.
Robinwave sighed; he seemed annoyed by the senior warriors talking without his leave. "Well Troutfur, what do you think?" Ashkit and Speckledkit froze, watching the thin grey ticked tabby tom stretch before speaking. He was the spitting image of Speckledkit, down to their orange eyes. After all, Troutfur was their uncle.
"We only have one apprentice; I think other would be good. But if they put so much as a paw out of line, I'll tear out their throats," T routfur said after a moment. The words were impersonal; he didn't involve himself in the lives of his nephews, even though he was their their closest living blood kin. Speckledkit secretly thought it wasn't much of a loss.
"What do you have to say for yourself, kits?" Robinwave's face was stone hard.
The senior warriors snarled and whispered their contempt. Oh Waveclan, I was not expecting this. Eclispeheart hadn't expected that they'd get a chance to talk, and she hadn't prepared them for that. I'm doomed, I'm doomed, I'm...
"I've always dreamed of being a warrior, and fighting for our Clan. I'm just a kit but I let the Code guide my paws. If you let me be an apprentice, I promise that I'll be loyal to you and Grassclan until my last breath, no matter what," Ashkit said. That was the speech he'd been practising while Speckledkit took naps. He had thought it was the apprentice ceremony words, not an argument. Now everyone was looking at him and he had nothing.
He took a deep breath. "I second my brother's words," Robinwave frowned, which made his throat clench in terror. "Grassclan is what matters to me, despite my kin. I never knew my mother, but I know she is everything I don't want to be. If you make me an apprentice, I will follow the Code and defend Grassclan as well as I can." That went better than I expected. Will everything be alright? For the first time in the last moon he let himself imagine doing all the fun things Redpaw got to do; if he became an apprentice today, they'd have so much fun...
Robinwave nodded. "Good. Ashkit, your apprentice ceremony will be held at sunset once our patrols have returned," His brother squeaked, eyes shining in joy. "Speckledkit, you will have to wait another moon. Our Clan can't have too many warriors mentoring at one time; this is a delicate time."
He didn't protest; Robinwave's word was law, and he was lucky he hadn't been asked to go into the wilderness and find himself a place amongst the everkits and rogues like the other kits linked to the Betrayal before him. He still had faint memories of Shrikekit and Cowkit begging to stay before they were chased out. And... Speckledkit shivered. He was lucky it was just a moon and not forever.
"You are dismissed. Both of you should get some rest in the nursery; the warriors need to be briefed," both kits turned down the path, keeping their walk slow and deliberate. Robinwave would not approve if they were hopping around.
Ashkit smushed his long pelt against Speckledkit's short one. "I'm sure he'll make you a warrior sooner than that!" Speckledkit purred. He ought to look happy, even if he didn't believe what his encouragements.
"It's great! What mentor do you think they'll give you?" Speckledkit asked to change the topic. They spent the walk back into camp running over the pros and cons of every cat in the Clan.
"How'd it go?" A blur of red charged in their direction; the kits leapt on top of Redpaw, who fell to the ground purring.
Ashkit puffed out his chest. "I'll be apprenticed this evening!" he cried. Redpaw smiled.
"Oh, it'll be so much fun. I'm sick of being the only apprentice-" Redpaw frowned sadly before putting on another smile. "The two of you will shake things up a bit." The kits flinched. "Did I-"
"I'm not becoming an apprentice for another moon," Speckledkit said, faking cheer and keeping his eyes on his older sister instead of looking at the ground he wished he could sink into. "But Robinwave still wants to apprentice me eventually.
Redpaw's exuberant front faltered. "That's crappy," she said. "I'm sure you'll be a great apprentice though, when the time comes. Mum is waiting for us in camp. Shall we go and see her?"
Grassclan was starting to wake up, the warriors leaving their resting places in the bushes so they could groom and be ready for the day ahead. Even Mangledleg the elder was awake, sharing tongues with Starlingpelt. He could feel cats staring. The news of their meeting with Robinwave would've spread; it was supposed to be between the senior warriors, but there were many of them, and they often had loose tongues.
"Did it go alright?" Eclipseheart's eyes were full of worry, her tail lashing.
"Ashkit will be an apprentice tonight, and Speckledkit's going to be apprenticed in another moon," Redsong said. Their mother sagged with relief, coming close and nuzzling them.
"I'm glad. You're both great kits and deserve the chance," she said, her nuzzle turning into a quick groom. I really am dirty, he realised, feeling her tongue take a bit of muck from the back of his neck. Maybe if I'd actually cleaned myself first I'd be an apprentice with Ashkit.
That wasn't the only thing that made him feel sober. A chance. He'd almost forgotten in the fuss of the meeting, but even once you got apprenticed, Robinwave would expect you to prove yourself. Those that proved themselves got to be warriors of Grassclan. Those that didn't would leave once they were considered capable of fending for themselves, doomed like the kits exiled before them to become everkits or rogues. That had been the fate of Redpaw's littermate and their sister Patchedpaw. Starlingpelt, Eclipseheart and the elders had tried their best, but Robinwave hadn't budged. He had been three moons old then, but he still remembered her. She'd been a daring cat, fiery and eager, with a long tortoiseshell pelt that smelled a bit like grass.
"It'll all work out, you'll see," Eclipseheart whispered to them, nuzzling both kits. Speckledkit caught the senior warriors out of the corner of his eyes, glaring at them. Better off ignoring them for now. They'll see that we're good enough soon.
Author's Note:Cover template was made by moodledoodlee! I'll be updating this every Sunday after posting these first 4 chapters, and currently all 26 chapters are complete, pending some tweaks and checking for typos before posting (provided I don't overlook said typos like a dumbass)!