CW: mentions of homophobia and abuse.

"What do you want to tell me?" Remus asked, for the third time.

Sirius's mouth was twisted into an odd, nervous grimace, or maybe it was a grin; Remus couldn't quite tell. He laughed awkwardly. "It's nothing, It's just, you're a great guy, you know that?"

"Uh, thanks." Remus smiled. "That's not what you wanted to say, though, right?"

"That's the gist of it."

"Okay."

"Okay! Good talk! I'm gonna turn in, then, if you don't mind-"

"Sirius," said Remus quietly.

"Fine, okay, ugh." Sirius dug his fingers into his fluffy black hair in a way that was incredibly attractive. "I know you don't feel the same way and everything, and I hope we can still be friends, but, I like you. As more than a friend. Have for a while."

What? "What?"

"I'm sorry, look, I hope this doesn't make things weird… but you promised I'd never lose you, remember?"

"No, I- that's not- I mean-"

"Look, it's okay if you don't feel the same way-"

"Yes-"

"Okay then! That's fine! I'm just gonna go, okay, I felt bad not telling you-"

"No, I mean, I do," said Remus, incredibly flustered. "Like you too. As more than a friend."

"Oh. Well." Sirius seemed to pause for a moment; he was constantly moving, and this was the only time Remus had ever seen him stand completely still. "Really?" he said finally, his voice soft and fragile.

"Really," said Remus. "So much. How could I not?"

And suddenly Sirius's arms were around him, and they weren't even kissing, it was just a hug, but so many words were enveloped between the two boys, and when Remus pulled away his eyes were almost teary, because he'd been waiting so long for what felt like an impossible dream and now here he was living it.

Sirius, on the other hand, pulled away full-out sobbing.

"Are you okay?" Remus said immediately. "Did I do something?"

"No, you idiot, you're perfect," said Sirius. "Shit, this is so embarrassing, I just-"

"Sit down." Remus patted the desk space next to him. "Talk to me."

"When I ran away from home," said Sirius, "part of it was because my family's so full of dark magic, and racist, and not the people I ever wanted to be around, and you heard about that plenty, you know how my skin would just want to crawl off whenever I was near them-"

"Yeah," Remus said, prompting him to keep talking.

"But the other part, right, was that they found this, er. Letter I had written."

"What do you mean?" said Remus.

"Erm, it was a letter to you." Sirius scoffed. "I would've never sent it, of course, but it said how I felt in a way that was pretty transparent, even to them, even when this was the last thing they wanted to believe-"

"Oh, shit," Remus said, understanding.

"Yeah, and they read this letter, and said I was a disgrace to the Black family name, you know the drill. And my mum, well, she's a fan of the old Cruciatus-"

Remus's head spun. "What?" he said, standing up. "You're not serious-"

"Oh, I am, in fact, Sirius," said Sirius, grinning with his usual swagger before looking back at the floor. "But I'm also serious. It was just for about five seconds before my dad stopped her, but Remus, I was terrified. I grabbed my things and I booked it."

"Does James know?"

"He's the only one."

"I'm so sorry, Sirius."

"That's not why I'm telling you. I just want you to know. There's a lot of emotions- I have a lot of emotions about you, Remus, because you're beautiful and intelligent and kind and wonderful, and I have a lot of emotions about me because I was told that every single one of those emotions about you made me a stain on the Black family name- now, granted, that is the legacy I want to leave behind, but still, it doesn't make for a particularly healthy view of oneself."

"No, I'd imagine it doesn't," said Remus, berating himself for the way his mind kept running over beautiful, intelligent, kind, wonderful even after hearing all of Sirius's trauma.

"Well, I'm sorry, this certainly isn't as romantic as I'd pictured it being."

Remus put his arm around Sirius's shoulder, noticing that he was shaking slightly. "No, it's- I… I'm not good with words, but I want this, whatever we are, to be real, and that's one of my favorite things about you is how authentic you are."

Sirius leaned in, quiet for a second before he whispered, "Thank you."