~~ Glitchy Heaven: Friends In Need ~~
An All Dogs Go to Heaven / SMG4 Crossover Fanfiction
Disclaimer: The author of this work claims no ownership of the characters or settings depicted herein. All Dogs Go to Heaven and related characters are property of Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Inc. (MGM). SuperMarioGlitchy4 machinimas (Super Mario 64 Bloopers, R64, Guards 'N Retards, etc.) are the creation of Luke Lerdwichagul, using characters devised by Nintendo.
Prologue: Demon Magic
This is a sad story of two fired guards. After screwing their company over, this stupid boy Chris… and the sexy Swagmaster(!) were left to fight in the harsh world…
A pair of tall, slender men wearing military uniforms were stood outside the walls of an old factory.
On the left was Swagmaster (real name unknown), whose suit was coloured a dark grey. Adjacent to him was his friend Chris, whose clothing was designed with a bluish-white camouflage pattern, intended for snowy environments… much like how it was outside the factory.
"So cold..." Swagmaster groaned as he dropped to his knees and spun around. "Need money… gimme some shelter..."
"Oh, shut up, you idiot!" Chris snapped, using the butt of his AK-47 to nudge his friend in the ribcage. "It's only been one hour since they suspended us!"
"Screw you, Chris. You don't know the pain of being homeless."
Suddenly, a woman wearing a yellow uniform came up to them.
"Aww, you poor babies. Want to come over to my house?"
"What the hell?" Swagmaster yelled back at her. "Did you just call me a baby, bitch?"
He then pulled out a rocket launcher from behind his back and fired it at the ground near her feet, causing the female to flee in terror.
"You see, Christopher? You see the pain I must go through?"
"I swear to God I am gonna murder you in a second!" Chris shouted.
Then…
"Ahahahaha!" came a mysterious voice from nearby. "Hello, boys!"
"What the..." Chris took a step back.
"Holy crap!" Swagmaster exclaimed in a state of delirium. "It's one of those dogs that offer you candy but then shove you in a van. Run, Chris, run!"
"No, not at all." The dog was a Whippet with lavender-coloured fur who wore a black vest, with a pair of dragon's wings sprouting from her back. "I heard about your little predicament. I am here to help. I am your friendly neighbourhood Whippet Angel… Annabelle!"
"Stay back!" Swagmaster took out his own AK-47, his finger resting firmly on the trigger. "I don't want your candy! Stranger danger, stranger danger!"
"Shut up for one second," Chris interrupted before turning towards 'Annabelle'. "Why do you want to help us?"
"Can't a dem-… I mean, angel have any appreciation? I have a promising job opportunity for the two of you."
"Oh?" Swagmaster stepped back as well, lowering his gun. "Please tell me more. I would love to have a job again."
"Swag, no," Chris warned. "I don't trust that bitch. Besides, some angel she looks to be..."
"My my. Sounds like someone needs to rub their tongue with sandpaper."
"Well, you are a female dog… and you do look kinda evil."
"Ahem, anyway," Swag continued. "About that job?"
"Actually, Ms, um, Annabelle," Chris butted in, "I think Swag and I will be fine by ourselves."
"No we won't."
"Swag, shush. I don't think she's telling the truth. If you're that desperate to have a new job then we need to look somewhere else – somewhere where we won't come across any evil dogs."
"Ah, not so fast. One does not simply refuse an offer from Belladonna."
"Wait a minute..." Swag raised an eyebrow. "What did you say your name was again?"
"Now do you get it?" Chris snapped. "She's a faker! That's what I was trying to tell you!"
The two guards could then see that the Whippet was holding a bright red whistle in her right front paw.
"What is that?" Swag gasped as he readied his assault rifle again. "Chris, watch out!"
No sooner had he said that, though, than the sinister dog had put the whistle to her lips and blown, upon which a massive green dragon spirit emerged from the mouth of the instrument.
In time, both of the men were pointing their AK-47s up at the spirit. They opened fire, but the bullets simply sailed through the dragon's gaseous form without causing any damage.
"Mwahahahaha!" Belladonna cackled loudly as the dragon inserted the end of its tail into Swagmaster's ear. The tail went through his brain, then into Chris's ear and through his brain as well. This caused the guards to fall under a spell, their eyes filling with green and yellow concentric bands.
"Yes, O Great and Mighty Belladonna," Chris moaned in a zombie-like tone. "Please tell us more about that job opportunity you mentioned."
"Haha! Perfect!" the demon-dog laughed with glee before blowing the whistle again, sending the dragon spirit back inside it. "Both of you, follow me..." She then turned around and began to lead Swag and Chris away from the factory and deeper into the cold night.