In her dream she floats on a small piece of wreckage in the dead of night, shivering violently. She watches as the last remnants of the destroyer, still spewing white-hot flames, sink silently into the void of the Arctic Ocean.
She hears the roar of the black ship's machine guns in the distance. Tracer bullets tear through the sky. A missile launches. It careens through the unending darkness before colliding with some unknown mass. In the light of the explosion she sees the bodies of her friends. They bob up and down with the waves, faces forever locked in expressions of fear and sorrow.
Below her a dim light appears. The water begins to churn. She grips tight but the small piece of steel she's kneeling on quickly overturns, tossing her back into the frigid sea.
The light grows brighter. She can feel a current beginning to tug at her feet. She struggles to stay afloat, kicking wildly.
The light grows brighter. She wants to call out for help but can't form the words. Her thoughts begin to slow. The once bitter cold gives way to a comforting numbness.
The light grows brighter, an amber glow now surrounding her. As she slips below the surface she asks for her mother.
She wakes in a cold sweat, gasping for breath. The voice in her head says that everything is okay. That it was just a nightmare.
She scans the room. In the far corner a steel table is welded to the wall. On it a plastic pitcher of water sits next to a starched white examination gown, neatly folded. There are no sheets on her bed, no springs in her mattress, no pillow. Her morning meal sits in a small alcove next to the door, wrapped in foil. A bowl of rice, lukewarm tea, and two slices of cultured meat. No utensils, no napkin.
She marks another day in her mind. This will be fifteen.
On day five Misato came and asked what she remembered about ground zero. Her mind was blank. The last memory she could recall with any certainty was sitting in the darkness next to a forest.
On day nine Sakura came to draw blood and perform a physical exam. She asked if there was anything she needed. Asuka remained silent, refusing to make eye contact.
She hears a familiar voice approaching. Soft and meek. Apologizing for the effort WILLE has put into keeping him safe. Asuka leaps out of bed and races to the door. The voice inside her head asks her to not do it.
"Shinji? That you? Huh?"
"...umm."
His voice wavers.
"I knew it. All of this, all of this!"
She wails on the door with open palms.
"This is because of you! You made this. Then you ran away! Left everyone to fend for themselves. All because you didn't want to say goodbye!"
"Come on Shinji, we've still got testing to do."
Another voice from outside.
"Misato? Where's four eyes? And Hikari. Just tell me already. Come on. Just tell me something!"
No response. Their footsteps fade away. The voice in her head tries to comfort her.
"Shut up already!"
The voice in her head apologizes.
"And stop! Stop sounding like..."
She falls to the concrete floor, face buried between her arms. She swears. She screams. She weeps. She feels the current tugging at her feet. She asks for her mother. The voice in her head is silent.
Day nineteen. A knock on the door.
"What?"
"Mind if I come in? Just one last test I need to do."
"Can't really say no, can I?"
The door opens, Sakura steps in carrying a metal chair.
"Hey, Asuka."
She sits just out of arm's reach and pulls a small notepad from the pocket of her pinafore.
"So, your lab work came out fine. And I've been working with a few colleagues at the UN to draft up some psychological screening questions. Just to see how you're processing things."
Asuka lays in her bed, staring at the ceiling. Counting the concrete blocks one by one.
"Processing things? I've been stuck in this room for nineteen days, eights hours, and thirty minutes. No one will tell me anything and I have a damn voice in my head."
"What's the voice saying?"
Asuka balls her fists, knuckles white with anger.
"What's the voice…"
She scoffs.
"You just come to rub those degrees in my face? Huh? Doctor Suzuhara. Little wunder girl has a Ph.D. and a M.D. at eighteen and now you're gonna try getting into my head? Yeah right."
"Asuka, I just want—"
"Just wanna what? Help me? You know what'll help? Letting me out of here."
"And I want to do that. No one likes having you quarantined like this. Everyone misses you. But we need to make sure there's no psychic contamination from your time...I...I mean-"
Asuka's thoughts race. Your time? My time...my...Kaji...he was there...but he's…
Asuka slowly tilts her head, gazing squarely at Sakura.
"Look at me. No, look me in the eye. You have two choices right now. You either tell me everything you know or you get the hell out of here."
"Asuka…"
"You better choose quick or I'll do it for you."
Sakura rises and hurriedly knocks on the door. It opens. She slips out, pulling the chair behind her.
"Idiot…"
The voice in her head speaks. It sympathises with her. It doesn't know how it ended up here either, but there must be a reason. There is always a reason. It asks Asuka if she wants to know who they are.
"I've known since you apologized."
Day twenty-five.
A white jumpsuit with red accents sits on the table. A note pinned to it reads:
Put this on and come to the briefing room. Time to get back to work. We have coffee.
"Ready with subject two at your order."
"Begin."
The stimulant rushes through her bloodstream. Her eyelids flutter, she flinches at the unyielding brightness of the surgical lamp that hangs above her.
This is cold.
Her first thought being an awareness of the steel examination table she lays on. A blurry shape steps between her and the light. The only color she recognizes is yellow.
"Take it slow, you've been asleep for a while now."
"...I…"
Her mind is jumbled. Words, images, sounds, smells all flow through each other without shape or definition.
"C...co...cold."
Her voice, rough as sandpaper, scrapes its way up to escape pale lips.
"Maya, get a towel."
"Yes, Doctor."
The shape disappears and the blazing light returns. She attempts to lift a hand to cover her face but can't. Her arms, her legs, her whole body feels like gelatin. Another shape appears before her. White with black markings.
"Tell me what line you can read."
"I...I can't…"
"Try. Look at the chart and tell me what line you can read."
She squints but the letters remain nothing but blurred spots.
"I can't read them…"
She hears the squeal of a heavy door opening and shutting. The heavy thud of boots against the tile floor.
"Doctor?"
"It worked. I'll have to run a check to confirm but it seems like the faulty retinal code has passed into the clones."
"Good, take your time with the new line. Rei, get dressed and come with me."
She glances over to see another blurred figure some distance off. The only color she recognizes is blue.
"Yes, Commander."
~ The End ~