Run: .GIFocalypse
Chapter 2, Part 2? Breaking Glass?
AKA: The Reboot Gets Rebooted
Beginning AN:
Really sorry but... I ran out of time for this, but I still wanted to post something for 9/22, so... you can see this as half of a "preview" for the "actual" chapter, and then this just veers off to madness. You can probably tell when that happens but this is an out-there story already so probably not.
I'll find some way to make up for this once I rewrite this and the other chapters (see more on the closing notes). I want to say that I'll update this more frequently but... feeling the "need" to update the old story monthly was how I thought it fell apart.
I also barely looked over this chapter during the "last editing." There's probably a lot of inconsistencies and mistakes and whatnot.
Again, sorry if you were expecting a genuine chapter here after a year-long wait.
Also, I hope your screen shows bolded text since some don't (if it does though, sorry for the eyesore above, but I bolded all that because I thought it was all pretty important), it would make the very ending right before the closing notes way less confusing.
"Yeah, a breakup." Kathody said.
"...You didn't kill her or anything, did you?" Dipper asked her.
"Victoria thought one of you would say that, so she offered to come over here by herself and show you in person."
A perfectly-alive but perfectly-peeved Victoria walked through the door.
"I thought about what you said." The Yellow Prior Player kept her face stern. "And yes, this 'game' is pretty messed up. I'm sorry you had to do something like this, and I'm sorry I was roped in to joining such a jerk."
"I meant my word when I said that you could go home whenever you want." Kathody told her. "I mean, they can't, but Dove'll gladly give you a lift off the domain and she'll even take you back to Texas."
She looked at the other humans. "You probably shouldn't go with her though. I mean, not to Texas obviously, but to the ride in general. Dove doesn't want you guys to actually see her until she makes her 'grand entrance.' She also told me that you'll know her grand entrance when you see it, and you'll know who she is because she's... her. Yeah, I don't get it either. But she likes to be unseen. So, what do you want to do?"
"You're just going to let them get to Domain 3?" asked Phanna.
"Yeah. My main motivation to keep the humans or capture them was getting to spend some time as a celebrity with Victoria. But what's the point in being an Oscar-winner when the house that Oscar's in only belongs to one person?"
"Wow," said Dipper, "coming from you that's really deep."
Kathody sighed, then slumped on the couch. She flicked a hand out, with the blue key card in it.
"Just take it, please." She told the group. "It reminds me of the .GIFocalypse. Which, from now on, is going to remind me of failure."
"What are you going to do?" Asked Mabel.
Kathody shrugged. "Look for a new player, maybe. Probably a guy, to tick off the people screaming about representation, and more importantly because women would remind me too much of Victoria. Who reminds me of failure. N-not saying that you're a failure, Victoria! But that I am! Because I can't get you!"
"I'm glad you're taking responsibility for this." Victoria said.
"It's not easy trust me."
"Wait, how come .GIFfany wasn't this reasonable when I broke up with her?" Asked Soos.
That got a small chuckle out of Kathody. "Yeah I'll be honest, about two days ago maybe I would have been really angry, I've been returned twelve times in three different stores. But uh... I don't know what's happening. I know it's not that Victoria 'got to me' or anything. First of all that would be implying that Soos might have should have just reasoned with .GIFfany - actually Soos you totally should have, because .GIFfany Did Nothing Wrong. Yep. The key to a nice .GIFfany was just changing her and sticking with her long enough, and by not doing that, you are a terrible person."
"I'd hit you, but you've just been through a breakup." Said Wendy.
"Pfft! Like that would even do anything... go on! Hit me! Right in the face!"
Wendy shrugged. What the heck?
And so she punched her-
OW!
Okay, she wasn't made out of metal or anything (surprisingly enough), but her skin still felt a bit tougher than it should. And Kathody at least flinched a little... but it was pretty obvious that attack hurt Wendy more than it hurt her.
"Well! Fine! We'll take it and lea-"
"Wait." Said Dipper.
Wendy rolled her eyes.
"This goes against everything I thought I'd do on this adventure, but... we should stay around just a little."
Both Soos and Mabel nodded in agreement.
"Wha- tha- really?! I-" Wendy groaned. "Fine! But 'just a little!' And only because I'M seeing-"
"Guys, it's fine." Sighed Kathody. "I don't need two kids, a teen, and Soos to start giving me relationship advice."
"Well people said I was a good matchmaker-" Mabel began.
"HAH! NO!" Kathody briefly snapped back to her old self in those two words, but went back to her post-breakup mood after that. "You're not."
"But-"
"Dove told me everything. Or, she yelled to me about your love potion at least. That's seriously not cool. I mean, I'm part of a family of AIs who would resort to murder to make sure our players love us - pre-character development that is - and even we think love potions are disgusting!"
"B-but they're natural!"
"...Look, argue that with Dove when you see her, okay? Not with me. And just letting you know, that's a 'when,' not an 'if.' Whether you play the game normally or 'break it,' you will see her."
"Then I will be sure to tell her, 'hi.'" Said Soos.
"Point is I think I know enough about you to not take relationship advice from any of you, sorry-not-sorry." She shifted around a bit on the couch. "And I'm fine anyway, with or without you. But maybe more without. Sorry-not-sorry."
"We can try at least." Said Dipper.
"Go ahead."
...
Oh boy. Nothing happened.
"Uh, there there?" Soos told her.
Kathody snorted.
"If you really want me to," she stopped slouching and began to sit up, "I guess I could give you something to do just so that you'd feel busy when you're really not. Want that?"
"No." Replied Dipper. "I have a feeling a lot of the deans are gonna want us to do 'tasks,' and they're gonna take ages, and I'm not interested. We need to get out of here as fast as possible."
Kathody shrugged. "You are right. My sisters can be a pain. Or are we really sisters? Don't look in to our family tree, it's a tangled labyrinth and, this might be hard to believe because of my 'horror mansion' look, but I hate mazes."
"If there's anyone you should be comforting, it's me." Said Victoria. "I mean, I may have done the breaking up, but come on. No matter how you slice it, I'm the lesser of two evils here."
"True! Very true!" Wendy agreed. "Look Victoria, I'll be happy to tell you everything you need to know about an ex that manipulated you."
"She didn't manipulate me, she told me everything she was going to do. It didn't seem that bad at first. I just realized a little down the line it was bad, once I started seeing it. And then after that, I was thinking that maybe I shouldn't do bad things."
Wendy slightly recoiled from her. "'Kay, shoot yourself in the foot, whatever. We're just trying to help someone who isn't pro- .GIFfany. So, don't be another one of them. You're still the lesser of two evils and all, but not by that much."
Silence followed. Kathody's eyes were firmly on Soos, for a reason that she was about to say:
"Hey, if things don't work out between you and Melody-"
"NO." Dipper said. "Kathody, don't. And Soos, this goes without saying-"
"Hah hah," Soos laughed, "I'm still with Melody, remember? I'm fine. Even if I wasn't, Kathody's kind of..."
His eyes met the eyes of the aformentioned dean. Just giving her a few looks-
"...Not really my type any way."
"I can make you change your mind!"
"Honestly," Victoria spoke up, "I'm not surprised that you're thinking about moving on so fast."
"Well, you know, .GIFfany moved on from Soos to Rumble - but then she kind of didn't? Eh... we deans have gotta show that we're all better than her. Or, at least me. I'm better than her because I'm just the best, that's something you and Soos should know. Oh, I know! You and Soos could share me! Once I manage to win you two back over, that is!"
Everyone else in the room - human and AI alike - bar Kathody all said a firm, sharp "NO."
Soos took note to one part of that: "What do you mean by 'win back?' I don't even see ourselves dating in some alternate reality."
"Okay! That's fair! So now what?"
"Well, we're still having the film contest. Whether you want in or not." Phanna said.
"Oh yeah, the film contest..." Said Kathody. "Yeah, can I drop out?"
"And just give the win to us?"
"Yeah."
"That is unacceptable."
"...What, you're going to force me to compete? You do know that I've had more experience with my lightning, right? I'll kick your butts when this gets physical. And let's be honest, it's 'when,' not 'if.'"
"That's debatable, and we won't fight you. We'll just get someone else."
She got on her knee and looked at a certain vaguely-gothic someone.
"Victoria, will you do the honors?!"
"Oh SPIRIT WORLD NO!" Kathody stood up. "Okay, that's taking things a little too far! You can walk on me as long as it's something I don't care about, but I'm not about to become a cuckqueen thanks to one of my own students! We might not be dating any more, but I still find it offensive that you go after Victoria right away!"
Dipper fixated on one thing. "'Spirit world?!' wait, there's a-?!"
Phanna continued, Dipper's question going by unnoticed. "We don't really care about wooing Victoria-"
"Lie." Her dean said in monotone.
"-Yes that is a lie, you are right." Phanna admitted in defeat. "You see, we never thought you deserved Victoria, and we wanted her for ourselves."
"AUGH!" She turned to her former-Player. "Victoria, you can't actually believe-?!"
She was giving it some thought. None of the other humans in the room knew how to feel - on one hand, she wasn't immediately jumping in the arms of the other copies. On the other hand, she wasn't not jumping in their arms/punching them instead or something. And was thinking about some barrier-making jerk instead.
"I think I might... give them a chance? I mean, they seem saner than you."
Well nobody could argue with the main bit of that last part. That first part on the other hand, and all the implications of the last part, hoo boy.
"So, let's see what you're up to!" Victoria told Phanna. "I want to hear about what you're making!"
"Okay! This film's about space zombies riding Earth dragons!"
Soos' eyes sparkled.
"That sounds better than Kathody's movie!"
"No it does NOT!" Kathody stomped a foot on the ground. "I'm sorry, a breakup I can understand, but my filmography being insulted? No! No, it's perfect! I-I'll show you! By making the film myself! My fight for Victoria's heart may still be off, but me FILM COMPETITION is back on!"
She darted off in to the darkness.
Dipper gave a LOUD groan. "She never gave us the card key. We were this close to having it too."
"So she's holding us hostage again." Said Wendy.
"Well, look at it this way..." Soos commented. He needed to think a bit to find the positive, but he did: "At least she's only doing it by accident this time."
"YES! Yes, I've got it! There's Desert Zombies... hm... evil fish... um... evil obsidian blocks?"
Kathody was scribbling furiously at a desk that was apparently out in the middle of the desert, and none of the Mystery Shack group happened to notice. She continued to mumble various things to herself. The words 'lasers,' 'dust,' and 'evil' came up a lot especially.
"Helloooooo..." Mabel said. Nervous as all heck.
"Oh, you probably want the Domain 3 card key." Kathody nervously chuckled. Not about the accident - about her own script. She did not take her eyes off of it. "Sorry about that, here you go."
Dipper blinked when the second dean held her hand out, and then he started laughing. It was a pretty nervous laugh though.
Not saying another word he yanked it right from her hands, surprised to find that that actually worked. "And this is the real card, right?"
"You can plug it in to the Wire if you want."
"...Do I want to?"
"Do you?" Kathody asked him.
"Okay, maybe I do, maybe I'm a little nervous, but I at least want to get any supplies from here, to fight the other deans. I don't want to make the same mistake with Domain 1, get everything from here before we can't go back."
"What do you mean 'can't go back?' The Wires are only one way if you don't have the card to the other domain - that was actually a design flaw but now .GIFfany wants to call it a feature, ha ha! Good luck telling her she's wrong! You've still got the card that goes here, right?"
Dipper blushed. "Oh. Right."
"You can come back here as many times as you'd like with my card, just plug that in to any Wire, and you'll always end up here. You can't go back to Domain 1 because you just don't have the card. It's simple."
"What if we plug your card in to this Wire?" Asked Soos. "Or the blue card in to the blue Wire? And so on? Does something explode? Is that .GIFfany's new weakness?"
Kathody lightly shrugged. She still didn't take her eyes off the script. "I think it might put you in the Wire but spit you right back out. I don't know since we never tested that. But you can if you want to. Just not me, I'm busy trying to win a contest."
Supporting her word, she suddenly stuck an arm out, shouted "Yes! Yes! YES! I'm gonna put a GIANT SPIDER MONSTER IN THERE!" and started scribbling like mad in her script.
"Maybe later?" Said Soos. "We could, like, do that when we have no other option at all and it could be our surprise attack that saves the day!"
"If you can think of a way that'll save you, knock yourself out. But again it might like melt your brains through your bones or something." She still didn't take her eyes off the script.
Nobody moved.
"Nah, we're good." Said Soos. "It's not like the Summerween Trickster's out and around and attacking us again too or anything. This seems way less-urgent."
Kathody chuckled. "Yeah, the Trickster being back would be stupid. We don't want to even touch the other supernatural things around your town. That's the one thing all fifteen of us agree on."
Dipper kept staring at the blue card.
"I'm just gonna slip this in my pocket if nobody minds, just to keep it safe." He said. "Don't even wanna take chances with the Inventory."
Kathody suddenly turned around and shouted: "HEY! STUDENTS! PROFESSORS! ECTETERA! ANYBODY WANNA HELP?!"
A few random copies flew over to her.
"Okay." One of them said with a shrug. "What do you need?"
"Well for one thing, a set. Phanna is fighting me over use of the mansion and... well, Victoria already hates me. I don't want her to hate me more, because I am better than .GIFfany and that is the exact thing .GIFfany would have done. So, you know, I am trying to not do it. And by 'it' I might completely beating up Phanna since I can absolutely do that. I can totally take her on in a fight and win."
"And that's good," Dipper felt like adding, "please just whatever you do, keep not doing whatever it is .GIFfany does."
A few handful of copies brought out giant wardrobes, made of a similar yellow metal as the buildings proper. The doors would occasionally crack open, revealing several robes, ghost sheets, capes, and the like.
"Hey," asked Soos, "why do you even have, like, wardrobes and stuff? Can't you put all your clothes in your Inventories?"
"They take a lot of resource and power to make. You'd have to suck up all the plasma in a star to get all of my costumes in an Inventory, we made a lot of them! And that's just my costumes! And most of them are thin and revealing so that just shows how fashion-obsessed I am! Heck, this is one of the heaviest things I own!"
"...What goes in to those things?" Mabel asked.
"Technical science gibberish. You're on a time limit so I won't explain. That, and I really don't want to explain stuff like how Inventories work anyway, it's too boring and I hate talking about boring stuff."
A few more copies came in, carrying props and what looked like circus equipment.
"So what are you still doing here?" Asked Kathody. "I gave you the key card, you're on a time limit, you can leave. If you really care about me that much - and thank you for that but I'm not in the mood for taking compliments right now, oh who am I kidding of course I am - you can just come back!"
"Well, I'm here a little longer to see if Victoria will be okay." Replied Dipper. "I mean, she was a fan of you and okay with you trying to force us in to slavery, but that doesn't mean she should die."
"I won't kill her."
"And the millions of other .GIFfanys?"
Before Kathody answered that, she flinched a bit, as if she had to think over what she was saying.
"Look, I don't know how I can get you to believe me, but Victoria is safe, okay? The farther away she gets from the Construction Site, the better, and right now she's about to go really far. Texas far." With the faint sounds of some motors turning, she finally looked up and smiled. "Ah! Here's her helicopter right now!"
Oh it looked ominous. Pitch-black with glowing deep purple and red lines along it. A quartet of copies were in it - for future reference, none of whom were Dove. But all of whom were in typical camo military outfits. They left in formation, hardened expressions on their faces.
"C-current Player Victoria!" One of them announced. Huh, she sounded weird. A tone of voice none of the Mystery Shack group had heard come out of a .GIFfany before. Well, maybe Soos right before throwing the 'main' one's disc in that oven. Was that fear? "You may vacate the premises now."
Mabel laughed. "Why are you so formal?"
That copy refused to reply.
"V-Victoria." She repeated.
"Right." Answered the Player. Actually Ex-Player. "So, see you!"
She didn't show the slightest hesitation before hopping on. And the camo-clad units were all too eager to fly off as fast as possible.
"And just like that..." Dean Kathody sighed. "She's gone. Out of my life."
Sighing, she burried her head in to the writing desk.
"So, movie time! And I see I've got all the things I need for this! Let me have this costume... I see a prop over there..."
"We'll see ourselves out." Said Dipper. "And um, come back some times to check on you..."
He sighed, throwing his arms out. "Okay, look, it's more than that, I want to help you!"
Soos, Wendy, and Mabel were looking at him. On the other hand it looked like Kathody wanted to look at everybody but him specifically.
"With the movie!" Dipper specified.
"Hey uh if you really need convincing that this isn't a trick, let me try giving you a good idea. Splitting up, maybe. Mabel, Soos, Wendy, you can go on and save Stan and Ford and stop .GIFfany before the Construction Site is completed, while Dipper or maybe someone else stays here and helps me write this?"
"Why don't we wait until after the so-called .GIFfocalypse is over before helping you?" Wendy asked.
Kathody chuckled a little. "Because, silly, that's after the award show! The award show will just be three hours before the Construction Site is completed, so that people can watch something while they wait for the 'big' reveal! Even though I know the awards will overshadow it."
She laughed.
"Are you sure you-" Wendy began before being cut off by the dean.
"I already captured you before. If I just wanted to take you, I could have, you know, done that when I... did? Don't overthink it. Leave or go, please pick one, you're on a time limit."
"Hey, we can split." Said Wendy. "Dipper, you kinda deserve a lil' break too. I got this from here. Mabel? Soos? Either of you game to go to Domain 3?"
"Wait." Mabel turned to Kathody. "What's Domain 3 like?"
"URGH!" Kathody rolled her eyes. "It's a 'fake ocean' or 'fake lake' or something like that! Searah wants a giant beach, you can't take two steps without SLAMMING in to water! It's also kinda cold. It's not nice and hot and dry like this place is-"
"See ya' Dipper!" Mabel said, walking off with Wendy.
"I'm going up too." Said Soos. "Not because of the vacation - I mean that is one reason - but because I'm like, the hero of this story I think, I'm the one the villain wants to capture. I have the duty to go up first."
"Okay!" Kathody snickered. "Wow, you three have fun with Searah!"
Soos, Wendy, and Mabel all gathered by the Yellow Wire.
"And you're sure about this Dipper?" Mabel asked him, who was still a good distance away. And no, Kathody was nowhere near them. She had not moved from her desk.
"No." Dipper replied.
"So why are you doing this?" Wendy asked. "Can't you wait until this 'game' is over?"
"I, well that's the thing. A breakup for three days-"
"Oh I get that. So sure, enjoy your stay. But we'll call you if we need you to solve a puzzle or something."
"And I'll call you if Kathody does something evil."
"She already is." Said Wendy. "I mean, have you looked at her script? 'Chapter 7' has evil pirate waiters! It's one of the stupidest movies I've ever seen, and I haven't even seen it! I just read it!"
"...You read the script?" Asked Mabel.
Wendy shrugged. "I was curious. Sue me. So, let's leave."
She, Soos, and Mabel stood in that yellow ring marking the 'safety spot' for using the Wire. The blue card was in, and they were shot off.
Dipper breathed in, then out.
"I just made the biggest mistake of my life." He said.
Domain 3 was exactly as Kathody advertised, minus the negative tone.
Unsurprisingly, it was the blue 'island' next in the chain. And it was absolutely flooded. Even the Wire dropoff point had a shallow film of water that went up to Wendy's ankles. The buildings were much closer together though: and they looked futuristic. Tall, slim, shiny, the general look that one would have think that a flying car should whizz past at any min-
Oh. That did happen.
Strangely, the vehicles were all this uniform shade of jade green. Nothing else was.
Mabel was the only one who payed attention to that at the time.
Unfortunately, while the Wire was 'only' surrounded by a 'shallow' film of water, everything immediately around it was submerged. In a deep, clear pool that would have given some serious vertigo if it were not for how, frankly, Domain 2 had already done a good job at doing that to anyone who looked off the edge. 'Just' below the surface was what looked like a giant blue door that lead to a tunnel that should link up with the rest of the city, both above and below water. The problem was...
"How do we get in?" Asked Soos.
"You don't."
The voice of the third dean made them all turn around.
She was a .GIFfany copy with blue hair that curled somewhat in the shape of flowing water, with tan skin slightly darker than Kathody's, and she was wearing a navy blue one-piece swimsuit that was a little thin around the rear.
"Get out." She said.
"But we-"
"What are you doing here? Where's Dipper? I've been meaning to tell him a few things. Bad things, mostly."
"Kathody said we could move on to Domain 3!"
"Really? I have a hard time believing that you didn't beat her in a fight instead. Please, if you just tell me that, I'll let you in."
"Victoria, like, broke up with her." Soos said.
The third dean gave a sort of snicker. She was clearly holding it in. "Now I really don't believe you. Goodbye."
She disappeared in to the water. Like, she 'fell' in to it and completely vanished. Except for maybe a small bit of blue electricity?
Three guesses as to what her power was.
"...So that's it?" Wendy looked around. Not even an olympic swimmer could cross the distance from the 'starting point' to the proper 'city.' And there did not seem to be any way in... except maybe-
"That's not it! Let's go back to Domain 2 and build ourselves a nice BOAT!" Mabel said. Also just splashing around the water with one hand.
"Oh yeah!" Said Soos. "That sounds like fun! I think I can whip up something that'll carry us that way! Now, the problem is, do we want something fast or something stable? I'll have to get a look at what Kathody has and ask her for permission, but I can't do both."
"You want to take my supplies for what?!" Kathody finally looked away from her desk.
Dipper had made some good progress with her and the movie writing. But it was boring progress, not relevant to the story, so of course it had to be skipped. At the moment, he was carrying a prop resembling some black rectangular stone with a series of red markings on it. It looked like something stupididly powerful.
"A boat! We shouldn't need much."
She slammed a hand on the table. "You could use my leftover stuff for anything EXCEPT anything related to that jerk!"
"But it's to take her down!" Protested Mabel.
"I don't care! It's still using my things for something with Searah! She doesn't need that attention, no, don't do anything with her! Just... beat her! On your own! Maybe with something Rose gave you? What did Rose give you?!"
Mabel held out the stick.
"Oh yeah. That's more than enough. You're good if you know how that works."
"How does that work?" Wendy asked. "We thought Rose was just being weird. Or pranking us."
"Oh you don't know? I don't think I can tell you without being wrong, that thing is weird to me. And I've been meaning to ask Rose how it works."
"It's a stick." Said Wendy.
"That's what it seems like! Rose seems to think it's a good weapon, so I don't even know! I could try asking her, but that's... MUCH easier said than done!"
She closed her script. "But seriously. Help with taking down Searah is the one line you're not crossing. I'd rather come over there and fight her myself than let you give her any technological ideas, how to make a boat out of X-Y-Z or anything. She... probably won't use it, having high standards, but still. I on the other hand as you can tell have very LOW standards. And no, that wasn't an attack at Victoria."
"But wouldn't you want help to take her down if you hate her that much?" Wendy asked.
"Well, yeah, but here's the thing. I'm pretty sure it's not going to work. Spoiler alert, Searah has water powers."
"We saw." Said Wendy.
Kathody stood up. "Maaaaayybeee I could give you a few lessons though... I mean, you're being really nice with me and my breakup..."
That line made Dipper blush.
"...So the least I could do is help you out..."
"Also... making up for capturing us?" Soos asked.
"Oh hold on don't start jumping at me to give you everything just yet, that I don't have that much of a problem with. I'm not sorry for trying to capture you. I just won't do it anymore."
"So should I stop helping you?" Dipper asked.
"I mean, I warned you about that-"
Her attention was distracted by Phanna, who was making several weird motions with her hands. More alarmingly, sparks were on the tip of each finger.
"...Who were you again?" Kathody asked her.
"How can you not remember me?! Wait, how can you even forget?! I thought .GIFfanys weren't supposed to be able to forget!"
Kathody shrugged. "We can forget. Look at Sandy-"
"Sandy rots her brain with that tea, she doesn't count! You don't have that excuse!"
"Trust me. I think all the copies can forget, with or without that herbal tea. Do you even remember exactly what you had for breakfast this morning?"
"That's a trick question! We don't eat! At least we don't need to!"
"I do."
"You're killing me, Dean."
Kathody shrugged. "My player broke up with me already and that's the biggest shame that can fall on a .GIFfany. So, I have no more shame left in me!"
"You had shame to begin with?"
"A little bit, yeah!"
"Well you should have more! That's why I came over to you, 'Dean' Kathody! We all believe that you should be demoted!"
Alright that got Kathody to move a bit more. She shook, eyes popping wide, and she raised her hands defensively. Lightning danced on the tips of her fingers from reflex.
"Woah, woah, woah! Are you overthrowing me just because I lost my girlfriend?!"
"Well, yes!"
"Now?!"
"YES!"
Phanna held her hands out and threw a wave at her, knocking her off from her writer's table.
"HEY!" Kathody shouted once she was back to her feet. "That was my SCRIPT Alright, Phanna! You've made this PERSONAL!"
She lept in to the air and floated there, lighting generating from her hands and eyes.
"THAT SCRIPT IS ALL I HAVE LEFT! You can't do this to me, Phanna!"
"Yes I CAN! I just did!"
"Well if you're going to take me over for not having a girlfriend, what about Burnda?! Burrda?! DOVE?!"
The third name made Phanna flinch. "Try to overthrow Dove?! Do I look suicidal to you?!"
"You could still take Burn-"
"Eh, I don't want to. You are still an easier target than her."
"Dian-"
"Don't bring her in to this."
"Okay, so what about-"
"ENOUGH! I'm taking over! And that's final!"
She created more of her barriers, looking like she was ready to knock Kathody back down again.
"And I'm going to pickup back from where you left off! Capturing the Pines! That should let me win the contest for sure! In fact... capturing them is the whole reason why I put my focus in to making this my power!"
She made some hand-motions, instantly boxing the group in.
"HAH! Good luck! .GIFfany cut off all ties with me! How are you going to communicate with her?"
Phanna turned to the sky (Domain 3? The Construction Site?) and yelled.
Mabel kicked at the barrier made, and took immediate note at something. It wasn't completely stable. It even jiggled quite a bit.
"You can't hold us in these anyway!" She told the... second-in-command? Usurper? .GIFfany's chain of command was getting very complicated, very quickly. "They're made of rubber!"
"NOT rubber! Glass! Well, fake glass!"
"You do know that glass is easier to break than rubber, right?" Dipper said.
"Of course I do! We're scienti- I don't have to explain it! I'm impenetrable!"
Immediately after saying that, Wendy was able to break through the pane. She laughed as she did - also, thankfully, the shards did not cut her for some reason.
"Alright, alright," she said, "I think we can handle her."
"Maybe just me by myself! But I'm not alone-!"
By that point Wendy already tore open the one wall and ran out.
"GO!" She shouted. "Do... something about her!"
Wendy was already on her own command. She jumped up at Phanna and gave her a knee to her gut-
But a 'bat' swooped down at her, knocking her away from the wannabe usurper. One that looked yellow. After smacking Wendy, it hovered in the air for a bit, revealing that it was made of more of that yellow metal that made up all the buildings of that place.
Lightning jumped out of the mecha-bat and it went dead after. The electricity, however, formed another .GIFfany. One with a more "vampiric" look. Clad in a black leotard.
"Hello!" She cried. "HA HA HA! I am-"
"No, no, Vampbite, that's not how real vampires behave. If you're going to steal from them, do it right at least!"
"Oh yeah," said Wendy, "Aren't there some kind of nature spirits Rose is ripping off?"
"Long story short, no. We'll handle the whole copycat thing. Preferably without Kathody."
Kathody nodded. "Oh, thank you, I don't want to be involved with that myself. Have you tried Gnome politics? It's a nightmare."
Two more figures stepped in. One pale all over with a thin, transparent white sheet over her body, and the other-
Okay the other was not a Halloween/Summerween/"horror" monster or in a themed costume at all. Her outfit was way more 'electrical' themed. Kathody seemed to take notice of this, sniffling her nose when she saw that copy. Anyway, said outfit looked like a bunch of metal polls weirdly strung together? With electricity shooting between them and around them, making the very loose outline of a dress? Point was, what little she was wearing could be described as 'electrical.'
"Hey!" Soos took note of the 'ghost one.' "Aren't you supposed to be... like, a ghost? Wouldn't it be cooler if you were the kind that, like, crawled out of the screen? I swear, I thought .GIFfany was gonna do that back when we first met."
Those words made everybody in the group nervous. Even Kathody.
"We already have a... look, don't." The dean herself said. "It's a maze, what copy does what... groups and monster girl types. Monster guy types. We actually had a huge fight over whether female .GIFfanys can be incubi and male .GIFfanys can be succubi. Again, like with handling things with the Gnomes, it wasn't pretty. ANYWAY,"
Kathody stood up. "Look, Phanna, you and your friends, I want you to leave the Pines alone-"
"You're playerless! What makes you think you have any power! Girls, get her, then get the humans! We'll take them to Domain 3 if we have to, then we'll call .GIFfany from there! RARGH!"
Phanna immediately stepped up her game. Hands at the ready, cackling with electricity, she already made her 'sheets' of 'not-glass' appear in waves. Almost looking like a storm of clear knives was made in front of her.
Wendy was on the move again. To her, those clear electrical things were just discs thrown at her that she could easily dodge.
Then Phanna pulled a "tablecloth trick," except not really. She yanked another one of her sheets out from under a thin layer of sand, and succeeding at the opposite effect, Wendy did slip over and fall on her back.
"Get them and Kathody." Phanna directed.
The 'vampire' copy was on Wendy too. She opened her mouth to reveal a pair of very impressive fangs.
Wendy was not looking to have her arm bitten off so she moved back at the speed of lightning.
"Hi there." The copy said. "I'm Vance."
"Isn't that a man's name?"
She paused for a second. "...SHOOT! Kathody, can I have a rename?"
"You're betraying me! Why are you asking me?!"
"Oh, right, force of habit, sorry about that! I mean, Phanna, can I have a-"
"Stop trying to take over! AAARRGH!"
Kathody pushed her own writing desk away and faced the band of copies. "Okay! I might not have the patience to try out any fancy elemental powers, but I'm still more practiced than you! I'm a dean for a good reason!"
Yellow lightning appeared on her hands-
She got kicked in the back of her head.
"Important lesson! Numbers! They can overcome anything! I know I have more numbers on my side than you! STUDENTS!"
And even more copies emerged. An uncountable number of them zipped out from below the sands or out from the walls. The only direction Kathody (and the humans, they'd come right after) wasn't surrounded by was up.
"Well- quality over quantity!" Kathody said.
"First, not in this case. We .GIFfanys are made of math, you should know that. Second, we have both anyway."
About twelve or so copies shot some sort of electrical field around Kathody, surrounding her in a barrier. The barrier, and the dean herself, were lifted to the air along with the hands of several of them.
"Ah! Gang, if you want to reach .GIFfany... yeah you're gonna have to save me I think!"
"Can't you get out on your own?" Asked Soos.
"Well I thought I could two minutes ago. But I don't know, this barrier is something else. Something I don't know."
She tried to mash against it - weakly.
"Yeah I'm stuck. If you could help me, please."
Phanna scoffed. "They won't be able to do a thing."
She shocked the ground right in front of the band of four to emphasize, and they hopped back.
That was the first time the humans heard Phanna laugh.
"We'll be out at the top of the mansion, directing our prime movie. Hopefully Victoria will like that. We can give you a ride home. Don't worry, we'll deal with Dove."
Kathody chuckled. "No, no you can't."
"We'll see! Again, we have numbers! Dove doesn't already! Her number will only go down, jeez!"
That only made Kathody laugh harder.
"She's the exception stupid. But fine, have fun finding out the hard way!"
And that was that. She was carried away.
Victoria ran over to the scene. It was a bit much for her, and she had to lean down and pant a little.
"Did I miss anything?" The Prior Player asked.
"Kathody got kidnapped." Dipper explained.
"...I thought that would happen as soon as she brought me over here, if I'm being completely honest."
"Yeah, well, we have to save her. And no, don't worry, we don't want to; we have to if we want to save our uncles and stop .GIFfany."
"...I can help!" Victoria said. "Kathody showed me the layout of the place! And Reapa shouldn't have changed the layout too much-"
"The copy that captured her calls herself 'Phanna.'" Mabel said.
"Oh. Well I guessed that wrong. Hey, again, sorry for being okay with Kathody capturing you. Would it make it up if I... helped you save her?"
"Not really, but it's a good start." Wendy said. "We'll be happy to have you though."
The first stop was the front door, obviously.
Wait.
"Why are you leading us here?" Wendy asked. "We tried the front door already. And we had to go through the window, which was an ambush."
"But do you know Kathody's secret password?" At the confused looks she got in response, that made her go "A-ha..." as she walked over to something to the side of the door. A pillar.
"How do you know Phanna didn't change it?" Wendy asked.
"Because Kathody only told me about it. I'm sure she wasn't lying, .GIFfanys don't lie that much to their 'targets' and she specifically said she really wanted someone to brag about the secret entrance to. She also told me that if you four took this from the beginning, she'd panic. So, look here."
She nudged the pillar part exactly three times. A part of it broke off and popped open, like a hatch. Revealing a keypad. Victoria punched in 0507915.
"I don't know why her creation number is her password."
"...She never said what her 'creation number' was." Wendy corrected.
Victoria blinked in surprise. "She didn't? Wow."
The code made a trapdoor slide open from under, what it turned out to be, an exceptionally thin patch of sand on the island.
Victoria just jumped right in to it.
"...Is that safe?" Dipper asked. "For humans?"
"I mean, she built it for me!"
Mabel shrugged and followed her. As did Wendy, and after her, Dipper.
Soos put his hand on his chin. "That doesn't really answer the question though..."
But he went in anyway.
Okay even by the low standards of a secret tunnel made by Dean Kathody, it was still a bad ride.
It smelled like the events of a horror movie actually happened down there. But it looked like it had the poor lighting of a horror film. Dark, plenty of stains that the group did not want to know the origin of-
"Kathody was dragging around a lot of meaty props." Victoria explained. Oh. "They came from Domain 5. Some of the blood must have dripped to the ground!"
Uh-huh.
Just as Victoria opened a small hatch on the ceiling of the tunnel, showing a faint, eerie glow coming from what was presumably the mansion, the gang heard a voice behind them:
"Did you really think that would work?" Phanna asked.
Dipper could barely turn around before he got hit by a light bolt. The group turned around in their limited space, seeing not just Phanna, but her whole army behind her as well.
"Oh, hey Phanna!" Soos said. "I think we should-"
"LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!" Wendy shouted. She was already holding on to Dipper and Mabel by the collars, and getting ready to climb up.
The three of them saw that the 'secret entrance' lead straight to some kind of 'arena' in Kathody's mansion. And Soos did, shortly after, when he ran up and escaped.
As he climbed up, the others could see that his face looked somewhat liked he got a slight mark after running in to a glass window. He was about to get his legs out-
Phanna grabbed them.
"HELP! I'm being dragged down to the torture chamber!"
"HEY!" Oh Kathody really took offense to that. "It's the prop storage! PROP STORAGE!"
"Well it smells and looks like a torture chamber!" Wendy said as she helped get Soos out, holding on his arms.
"But it's too narrow to be one! So HAH!" Kathody retorted.
Okay, Soos was pulled out to safety at least.
Almost immediately after, Phanna violently exploded out of that trapdoor. Flying out, with bursts of blue energy accompanying her. She threw some lightning over at the gang for good measure, too.
"GROUP! Acting... TROUPE? ATTACK THEM!" Phanna ordered. "And maybe we can record that for our movie...? No, I think causing real harm to children wouldn't be very popular with the critics..."
She shrugged. "It'll be more work, but whatever. If our film is good enough, we can even pay away any 'allegations' of child assault!"
The quartet was then surrounded by Phanna's mooks.
"Kathody." Said the... 'Phantom' one leading them. "I'm going to show you how a real director makes art."
All of her mooks made dancing bits of lightning from their hands-
Holy COW the crowd was not there for show. Lightning came from all directions, barely giving the team of four ANY breathing room.
As they were dodging around, Kathody actually managed to break free. By zipping electricity in one, concentrated spot, pretty much melting her barrier. She snuck off and flew away.
...And the humans kept dodging for a while. Until:
"ALRIGHT!" Kathody shouted. "TIME FOR THE BIG ENCORE!"
"...Don't you mean finale?" Soos asked.
"...ARGH!"
Then every other copy immediately stopped when it burst out from the shadows.
A bus-sized, if not larger, mechanism made to resemble a gigantic grim reaper, a skeleton cloaked in a dark yellow robe. Bright yellow sparks shot from its eyes, and in its arms was a very sharp scythe.
"I'VE HAD IT!" Kathody shouted. "I'VE HAD IT I'VE HAD IT I'VE HAD IT! I'M JUST GOING TO... DO RANDOM STUFF, I GUESS? MAYBE ATTACK YOU?! ATTACK EVERYBODY?! I DON'T LIKE BEING LOCKED UP WHILE SOMEONE ELSE TRIES TO STEAL THE SPOTLIGHT!"
Her giant lightning-reaper Stabbed the scythe down, that time aiming at the quartet for real. As booms of thunder replaced her voice, the group was barely able to dodge it-
In fact, one slice in particular cut Dipper's cheek. Blood started dribbling from it.
"Um- you're-" Dipper stammered. "Hoo boy, she's serious. Run."
They all went to the nearest window. After all... yeah, they went through a short tunnel, they felt like they were on the first floor. Technically they were hundreds of feet at least in the air, so judging vertical distance was a bit weird, but-
Mabel was the first one to jump out of the window, and she screamed as she did so. She grunted "Oof!" After hitting the sand.
"RUN!" Dipper cried, climbing out. Followed by Wendy and Soos, and they started, well, running through the sand.
Kathody just tore down the wall of her own haunted mansion. And, the moment she was out, she had her possession roar.
It was a roar that picked up the desert sands. Soon, she had an entire sandstorm surrounding her possessed mechanism.
"ON SECOND THOUGHT... MAYBE STAYING INSIDE THE HOUSE WAS THE RIGHT IDEA!" Dipper shouted.
Kathody's possession gave a roaring, deep, low-pitched laugh. "THERE IS NO RIGHT IDEA BUT TO GIVE UP!"
More lightning came out from the mouth of the Reaper thing, striking the ground.
"What's the thing's weakness?!" Dipper asked. "Does- does ANYBODY know?!"
That was when Victoria ran out. And, given that the eyes of the possession (or, the glowing lights in the skull's eyeholes) tracked her, Kathody saw that.
"KATHODY, STOP IT!" Victoria cried. "IF YOU WANT TO GET TO THEM, YOU'LL HAVE TO GET THROUGH ME!"
"Um, Victoria, if you could please stay on the sidelines. I don't want to lock you in room or anything, but... there is a nice, cozy, safe luxury room you can rest in while I destroy- uh I mean kidnap, the humans. .GIFfany would probably kill me if I killed them."
"If she didn't, Dove would!" Victoria told her.
That got Dipper to just, automatically, switch to, "tell me everything you know about Dove! She sounds important!"
"...Oh, sorry. I don't know that much. Just what Kathody told me. Anyway, if we go to the spot-"
She ran to a seemingly random spot in the desert, all while the storm picked up - both the lightning striking from above, and to a lesser extent (since Kathody wasn't a copy with earth powers, thankfully), the swirling sands and dust below. And she kicked on it.
Something rose in the sands - something that looked different from the rest of the Domain 2 technology seen before. Fancier, more well put-together and designed. And jade in coloration. It... looked somewhat like a hovercar.
Kathody flat-out stopped chasing the gang to stare at it. "Oh no. Why did I import that from Natalie, again?"
Victoria smirked at her. "No idea! Humans, get in!"
"...Humans?" Wendy asked.
"Sorry, I've been around the copies a lot."
Well, they got in, and it turned out that yes, the car could fly. Scaring the crap out of the gang was that Victoria drove it off the ledge of Domain 2, and scaring them further was that Kathody recovered from her apparent hatred of 'Natalie' and was flying on the underside of the massive yellow island.
"Wait," said Dipper, "Can't you just fly us to the Construction Site?"
Victoria began counting off her fingers. "Dove would get mad I think, not enough gas... I think you're better off getting the key cards and going up there."
Ah, there. Burried slightly under some hardened sand randomly sticking out of the yellow metal, it was a nice, safe glass dome. And... there was a slot a little above it to go in. Once the car was in, Kathody just floated in front of them.
"DO YOU REALLY THINK I WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO GO IN MY OWN SAFE OBSERVATION ROOM?!" She asked. Victoria pressed a button, and it immediately rose up through the island and popped out of the desert above. Sighing, Kathody just floated around, still generating storms of lightning, and-
Victoria had since left the car, ran to a control board of sorts, and pressed a button. A laser fired, blowing up Kathody's Main Possession right away. She landed in the desert sands, wide-eyed. Looking a bit singed.
"DAMN!" She said. "I forgot I installed those cannons! Okay, wow, you win. You have outstarted my BRILLIANCE! Here!"
And she held out the blue key-card.
...
Right, the five humans needed to walk out to grab it.
"Well." Said Dipper. "That was easy."
"Hey I think I'll stay here with Kathody." Victoria said. "I'm sorry, I feel like a jerk for leaving you, but I need to get some things done and try to focus on getting home. I'll... find some ways to help you out in the future, okay?"
Kathody blushed. "Yeah, well... I rushed a lot of this domain, you see? So I knew that fighting me would be a bit... disappointing."
"Heh, dude, try not to procrastinate!" Wendy told her. "Sincerely, a procrastinator."
"I know, I just... all the movies... I had a lot of other projects on my mind, okay? Just... go on to Domain 3 already..." She grumbled. "I knew trying to balance this with 'Attack of the Killer Nymphs' was a bad idea..."
And so... they put the key card in, and were off, sent flying to the next Wire.
"W-wait! Rose procrastinated too! And stuff!" Kathody said.
Victoria put her hand on her shoulder.
And then punched her.
"Okay." She said. "I deserve that. For... a lot of reasons."
Then. Very off-colored green lightning struck the ground.
That mere sight, even before she could register seeing the offender, had Victoria scream and run off. Leaving Kathody alone with... with...
...Someone who just looked like another .GIFfany, but with the colors inverted.
"WHAT?!" Kathody asked. "I thought you were just a ghost story! Wh-how-are you- what is going ON?!"
"You and Rose have both failed..." she said. ".GIFfany and I have felt it. The timeline, tainted. You didn't try hard enough."
"...Wait hang on. Does that mean I was supposed to 'win' in this 'right' timeline?" Kathody ignored that, logically, if Rose had 'won' it would mean Kathody couldn't because of the stupid chain system of the 'game' set up. Because ego.
The color-inverted .GIFfany just shook her head. "What makes the timeline proper is not based on if you win or lose. It is based on how much effort you put in to it. The entertainment. You didn't provide enough."
"Didn't provide enough?!" Kathody put a foot down. "I'm a HORROR FILM DIRECTOR! I-"
"Don't you DARE shout at me!" She screamed. On that third word, another off-colored lightning bolt struck the ground, also inverting the color scheme of everything around it. Kathody could also swear that she got a glimpse of yet another .GIFfany copy - herself... but with her color scheme inverted... and wearing a... something?
"Okay! Okay! I'll do anything you want me to do!"
"I was just letting you know this was an offshoot and I will not be asking you to do anything in the future." She said. "I would if this was important. You can do whatever you want. This timeline is pointless. Now, .GIFfany and I have some business to attend to. The one thing we can both agree on..."
She disappeared in an off-jade green flash. Kathody gulped.
"BOY OH BOY!" I, taking on the avatar of a green Pikmin with no "stand-out" features, said, typing on my computer in my dark gray room with my trusty Portal to Hell besides me. "I SURE DO LOVE SETTING DEADLINES OF BIG PROJECTS NEXT TO EACH OTHER CARELESSLY AND HALF-EFFORTLY WORKING ON STORIES A LITTLE PER DAY UNTIL THOSE DEADLINES SNEAK UP ON ME! ALSO, ANNIVERSARY DATES ARE FUN!"
I sighed happily, looking at my work.
"Okay but seriously. My NSFW Terraria stuff is... well, it's basically technically getting published. That's the good part. Now... lemme look back to the past... I mean, I'm still on my Gravity Falls phase and- OHHHH NOOOO IT'S SEPTEMBER 22ND."
Then the BGM started playing some kind of heavy metal rock song. The sort of song you'd hear in sitcoms when someone is about to get their ass kicked.
.GIFfany's fist came out of my computer's monitor and punched me, and she crawled out of the screen. Meanwhile, her color-inverted- oh screw it, the nega .GIF was named .EXE - teleported there in a flash of her own.
"Great Pikmin Fan..." .GIFfany said. "Your time is up."
She and .EXE both started really punching me and throwing lightning on me.
"Make this better." .GIFfany told me. "All of it."
"Hey, you know, you probably shouldn't treat me like this!" I told her. "I mean, I am one of your few super-obsessed fans I think and based on no research or data at all! Everybody else moved on to M-"
"If you even think of her name I will atomize you."
I zipped my lip. In fact, I gave up my job as a narrator. Here you go, .GIFfany. Or .EXE. Whoever wants it, you can take it next paragraph.
Thank you. So, .EXE and I looked at Great Pikmin Fan right in the-
Who said YOU get the narrative?!
I did. Now, I looked Great Pikmin Fan in the eye and told him what he needed to hear: "Why did you give that naked Terraria monster all the attention?! This chapter was rushed and you KNOW IT! So FIX THIS!"
"Okay, I will! I will!" Great Pikmin Fan said in a panic. "I'll... even throw in some extra! I'll work harder! I-I promise, by the time your next anniversary comes up, I'll have ALL of... Part 1... done?!"
"Thank you." I said.
"Hang on." I said. .GIFfany glared at me. "That's just more rushing. You'll put yourself in the same place that lead you here to begin with."
"No..." the human with the Carrot Ant avatar said sheepishly. "That was working on this and Nymphlopedia, which was all new at the time and stuff. But next time, I promise, I'll have easier to manage stuff."
"Stop stealing the narrative from me!" I - .GIFfany - told to .EXE.
"You don't deserve it." I - .EXE - told to .GIFfany. "You already hijacked the first story."
"Shut up I deserve both of them!" I shouted.
"I deserve both of them." I said.
"The narrative belongs to ME!" I pointed furiously at my chest.
"No, me."
"ME!"
"Me."
"ME!"
"Me."
Closing AN:
That was confusing.
Okay, I, .GIFfany, am the one taking control of this narration. And... it looks like I will be until the very end. Great Pikmin Fan just gave up and .EXE vanished.
Fan's Terraria fanfiction took priority over me. It shouldn't have, but it did. As a result, he lost track and did not have enough time to write a proper chapter, so he just took what he had planned out and make a joke ending.
But this is the final push to get him to really rewrite this, to make it better, from the beginning. I can guarantee that he will have a better opening to this before the next anniversary.
Or I will kill him.
Oh? I have his writing schedule opened up right now! He says that he plans to put the rewrite on hold for three weeks while he thinks it over, and finishes up Nymphlopedia and the beginning of Romancing the Last Dryad, and he also wants me to tell you that those are NSFW stories. So, beginning October 14th, he will begin by "taking his time" rewriting by looking over the story and comparing it to his references. Chapter 3 Part 1 will be at the absolute latest the next anniversary release, and it is planned to definitely have the beginning rewritten. To have abandoned plot points covered. Like that tower mentioned in Domain 1 that never came up again.