Chapter Sixty-eight

Griefs of the Soul

Melima turned to her sister after we were alone in the princess' room. "Sephra, how was it talking to dad?"

"Can I be honest with you?" Sephra asked.

"Yeah."

"I am having a lot of emotion right now. I learned a lot about my mom, and I'm angry that she's allowed this grudge against our dad to abandon me. And learning about how she wants to go out and do this has been hard for me, but also learning that dad left mom— I don't know. I'm just having— I love Dad, he's an amazing person, but I'm having some hard feelings I'm having to work through."

"Did he know that you existed, like, up until this moment?" Melima asked.

"No, he didn't. But we're going to keep my existence hush-hush right now. We don't want craziness happening. He doesn't even want to tell our siblings right now. His priority at the moment is the Tree."

"There is a good chance, Sephra, that your mother will use her connection with you against our mission to stop what's happening."

"I'm already aware of that, and to be honest I'm prepared to use my existence to manipulate her back."

"Oh, I see," Melima said with a laugh.

"She's someone I have a connection with who abandoned me for this mission, so I don't have a lot of love for that, to be honest. To work with her, if that makes sense."

"Right, I don't worry loyalty-wise, I don't want to— Ugh. I will take your mother down for you because I love you. And I don't want that to be a problem between us."

"Not a problem here!" Sephra said, also laughing. "Dad and I had a really weird talk, where I suggested that Dad could, like, spread the word that he had captured me to lure her out and stop all this craziness, but... we'll just stick with the Stones idea for now."

"Put you in additional harm's way. I'm sure, I'm sure there will be more chaos happening with your guys' relationship in the near future."

"Yeah, no kidding. I'm really nervous to see my mom, actually. I'm definitely going to need you guys as a team to help me emotionally not like, blow her to smithereens, to be honest. I'm so mad right now."

"Well, right now we probably don't stand a chance against her," Ari'yasa said.

"It was really cool though, Dad was telling me that my powers are very similar to hers, so not only do I look like her, but my powers are like hers as well."

Melima turned her attention to me. "Tawariell, I want to know everything you know. I want to know what is going on with the wood elves, I want to know what you talked to my dad about, I want to know everything."

"So, pretty much, I asked your dad about the Lussanens, and he really doesn't know much. He knows most of them probably escaped, a couple of them were probably assassinated, so most of them are probably alive, but he doesn't know where."

"So, this is your family?"

"This is my family, my mom's side of the family."

"Are you at risk of being assassinated?"

"That would be a good question that I didn't think to ask..." My curiosity about my family had overwhelmed my sense of danger in the situation.

"How much protection are we needing for the whole group? We've got an air genasi holding, like, the most powerful Stone in the world. We have a drow that's running around and looks like our family. We have you, who is a wood elf and known enemy of state."

"I've got my enemies too!" Jörgen said.

Melima gave an exasperated sigh. "So, what do we want to do, guys? Where do we want to go first? What do we want to try?"

"Are we wanting to try to pursue getting Sindus back?" I asked. I was betwixt and between, I wanted to get him back, but I was feeling more and more that it could wait until we saved the Tree, which everyone else agreed with.

Melima wondered if we should go back to the sphinx first, but remembered her father was reaching out to the Ashari tribes. We wanted to wait to hear back from them, and figure out how to get the mage out of our orb.

We left planning for a later time, deciding to relax while we could. We started asking each other fun questions, just to get to know each other better. I was asked whether I was more of a morning person or night owl. I was definitely more of a morning person, getting an early start on the day. It didn't use to matter, but with having to sleep, I'd get tired in the evenings.

Sephra was asked what she first noticed about a person when she met them. After everything she'd gone through, from her "really evil stage" to being changed through her deity, she focused on what they had been through. Did they look rugged? Worn down? Hard-hearted? She tried to focus on the aura they gave off.

Melima was asked what she'd do if she found a large spider in her room. She said that before she had left the palace, she would have jumped away from it and called for Murios to come kill it. But now she'd probably just laugh at it, insult it, and throw a knife at it.

Ari'yasa was asked if she could go back and change one decision she'd made in the past, what she would change. "Probably leaving my boyfriend behind."

"Wait," Melima said, "you had a boyfriend?"

"He was more than a boyfriend." She left it at that.

Jörgen was posed the question as to whether he gave people second chances. With losing his memory, he was willing to give people a second chance.

Sephra asked everyone what the hardest thing each of us had gone through. Since she was pretty new to the group, she didn't know us as well as the rest of us knew each other. Melima talked about preparing to take the throne, but her draconic bloodline started showing, causing her to be more aggressive, have random spurts of power, and scales started showing up on her skin. Then on top of all that, seeing her brother—whom she didn't feel was fit to rule—taking her place as heir to the throne.

Melima turned back to Ari'yasa. "So, who is this man? Why would you leave? You said he was more than a boyfriend, so was he a fiance? Why would you leave if it was someone so important to you?"

"I didn't really have a choice."

"What? Why?"

"Well, I don't have parents, I was raised by some old woman who took me in. His name is Severin, we were best friends since childhood, and we had promised each other that we would spend the rest of our lives together. But because I didn't have any legal guardians, I didn't really have much choice over my future, and we found out that Severin's father had asked the druids to take me away to train me.

"And I was supposed to come back in four years, but while I was gone the Stone was given to me, I was chosen. And that's when they told me that I could never settle down and have a real life. And that I had to set all my dreams aside and the Stone had to become my sole purpose and mission. And I haven't been back home in eight years."

"And he's been waiting for you?" Melima asked.

"I don't know."

"You guys never had closure?"

"No."

"How come you never wrote him or tried to talk to him?"

"I've tried to write him, but he never writes back. I don't think his father is letting him get the letters. His father is not a bad man, he just wants something different for his son."

"So, you must be writing to the address that you knew, but he may not be there, because he's an adult now. How would his father— If you got the right address, could you write him without his father screening?"

"I don't know. I didn't have many friends. I was kind of the odd one out. And the lady who raised me is long since passed. That, and I don't know who to ask and where their loyalties lie because his father was a high-ranking official in their town."

"Is he a druid too?"

"No, but he had lots of connections."

"That's really hard. That's really sad," Melima said, placing her hand on Ari'yasa's.

"So, I didn't choose to become a druid, but I did embrace it."

So, how does the rock communicate to you? How did you know to come to us? How did it choose you?"

"How did the Stone choose me? Oh, gosh, I don't know. We had lots of stones, and they told me to choose, and I kind of put my hand over the jewels, and I kind of felt a connection with this one, almost like static electricity. I felt something tangible. When I touched it, it glowed. That's the only time I've seen any magic from it. They made me swear an oath that I would protect the Stone, even with my life."

"Have you had anyone come after it?"

"I'm not sure. I've had people try to take me down, but I'm not sure if that was the reason why. I didn't really ask, I just killed 'em."

"Interesting. And you haven't experienced any other physical manifestations from the rock? Does it communicate to your mind? Does it like, urge you?"

"It's more like having an intuition feeling, but knowing it's not really your thought. It's like I have another consciousness that feels thoughts and impressions and things."

Sephra broke up the conversation. "Tawariell, have you ever had a love in your life?"

I shook my head. "No?" she asked.

"Just the woods."

"Do you lean more towards females or males?" Melima asked.

"It's just never been something that's been part of my life. I just love my trees." I laughed.

"Next time we're in the forest, I'm going to be like, 'look at that good lookin' tree!'" Ari'yasa teased.

"So, Tawariell," Sephra continued, "what is the hardest thing you've gone through, and what drove you to be an adventurer?"

"So, I've just always loved the woods and exploring. And I would go for just days, weeks on end, just going and exploring the woods. And one day I was pretty far from home, near some Dwarven mountains, and I saw a dragon, and I was like 'that's cool!' And I could tell it was eating something, and I just peered around some bushes and I stepped on a twig, and it saw me, and it attacked me. And I tried to fight it off, but it nearly killed me, until an arrow hit it in the side, and it fell on top of me and I passed out. And then I woke up a little bit later, and..."

"Is that... you saw in your vision?" Sephra asked.

"No, I didn't have this in a vision."

"No, no, no, no, no. I know that wasn't. But you are now a cleric because a dragon came to you..."

"Yeah, that's the hardest thing, but it's hard because of this other thing... So, I got attacked by this dragon..."

"But they're not the same dragon."

"They're not the same dragon, no. It was a green dragon that attacked me."

"Okay."

"This strange hooded man helped nurse me back to health. That was one of the hardest things in my life, was being still enough to be nursed back to health. But, as he nursed me back to health I begged him to teach me some of the things he was doing to nurse me back to health, the ways of the woods—he was a ranger—and he taught me all these things, I got better, and he just disappeared. But in the meantime, I was learning all I could about dragons. I was like, 'next time I see a dragon, it doesn't stand a chance. I want to know everything I can about it.' Along the way, I learned that maybe some dragons I wouldn't be able to take by myself. So, anyway, I've had a lot of animosity towards dragons."

"Have you ever come in contact with one since that first one?" Ari'yasa asked.

"Um, not close contact, other than that one we fought in the training room," I said. I didn't really want to bring up Aurel, it wasn't the right time. "There was one that we passed by in the mountains after a quest, and we just avoided it. Mostly because I was on my last leg. So, that was the only time I've encountered a real one, but I knew that mama was probably nearby and suggested we go around."

"So, you've had a fear of dragons," Sephra said.

"A fear. A malice towards. I just did not like dragons. Anything to do with dragons." I laughed. "Like, Melima, I hate to say it, when I first met you I was kind of leery, I was like, 'this gal has dragon features...'"

"Yeah, you're fine. I got kicked out of a kingdom for it, don't worry. I know your pain."

"Melima, have you ever had a love in your life?" Sephra asked.

She nodded. "I've never had a serious, lasting love, but I've courted and been courted. I've swung both ways, girls and guys. I'm guessing there will be an arranged marriage, but I haven't been told about it yet. So, for me, love is a plaything. It's not something that you really set your whole life on, because it's chosen for you. In the royal realm, things aren't as clean as you'd think."

"So, my dad follows suit!"

"Right? There's a lot of flirtation that goes on. I've been to a lot of parties."

"That's so weird. That was not what I imagined at all."

"You're a reformed Melima," Ari'yasa said.

"Pretty much. Before I went adventuring, I was very studious and reserved, but I still had a bit of a wild side, with my draconic bloodline. Now that I'm out on adventures, and not in the royal court, it hasn't been that big of a deal. I've never had a love that I thought would go anywhere. I knew I would probably be married off, so made the most of my time before."

Sephra continued her way around the room. "Jörgen, have you ever had a love in your life?"

"I don't have anything written in my journal about that," he said.

"He could be married and not know it," Ari'yasa said.

"That is so sad! Why would you not write that in your journal?" Sephra asked.

Jörgen shrugged. "I don't remember."

"Is that hard for you?"

"It's not hard if it's something you don't know about."

"That's true, but is it hard for you to know that you don't know that about your life?"

"I live each day as if that's all there is. The only thing I worry about is Morgoth. I don't know what he did, but I know he did something bad to hurt me."

"I feel bad for you," Sephra said.

"That's a waste of time."

"Do you ever surprise yourself with what you can do?" Melima asked.

"It's been ten years since it happened. I'm kinda used to it. I used to try to find out everything I used to know, but I've given up on it and now I'm more focused on Morgoth."

"Is Morgoth someone we need to be worried about?" Sephra asked. "Could he be working with my mom?"

"Here, this is what it says. My journal says I have two great enemies. Morgoth, Lord of the Dark, Sovereign of Shadows, and Bargeth, who has outrageous prices and is a jerk at bargaining."

Sephra asked if it was a possibility that it wasn't a personal experiment that caused Jörgen to lose his memory, but something that Morgoth and others did to wipe his memory because he'd found out what plans were for the Tree, and if there were any way to get his memories back. Jörgen got a bit offended, he'd been trying for ten years to get them back before giving up on the idea.

"Tawariell hasn't asked the Platinum Dragon about me yet, so, I don't know what's going on," the wizard teased.

"Yeah, I'm still trying to figure out everything that's going on there," I said "There's a lot there that I don't understand."

"So, wait," Sephra said. "You could ask your Dragon if there is a way to get his memory back?"

"I've had a number of visions—this is the other part of my really hard thing that I've gone through—is all of a sudden I'm getting these visions from this Dragon, and I'm like, 'what's going on here?'"

"Hasn't he blessed you with clerical abilities?" Melima asked.

"It might be able to be something I focus on when I meditate, but also when I meditate I need to be focusing on what spells I'd want to have available that day." With all the questions they started asking about dragons in general I just explained some of the basics about them. Chromatic versus metallic and good versus evil, the kinds of things they each hoard, and so on.

Ari'yasa leaned forward. "So, Sephra, I have the same question you've asked each of us. Have you ever had a great love in your life?"

"Uh, yes. Um, he died."

"Oh, I'm so sorry."

"He was impaled by a giant."

The room went silent. We'd heard some dramatic stories, but none had hit that hard. Timidly, Sephra continued, "He was a half-tiefling..."

"How did a giant put his fist through your boyfriend?" Jörgen asked.

"What? No! It was my party, and we had come across some giants—with weapons—and we were traveling, and they decided to attack us. I was managing okay, but they snuck up behind him and stabbed him through his chest."

"They stabbed him in the back?" Ari'yasa asked.

"Yeah." It went silent again.

"I am very sorry to hear that," Melima said. "How long ago was this?"

"So, after that had happened, my party decided to... The love of my life was a cleric. We'd been going around touching up the temples of my deity, and in one of the towns we had gone through I had heard of you. And I had to choose to either continue to clean up my temples or try to find you. And at that point I felt like I had just lost the only family in my eyes, so I wanted to try to reach out and see what you would bring me."

"I'm glad you found me!"

"That's why I left for a while too. There was a part of me that was ripped, wondering if I had made the right choice, and I had to take a minute and really concentrate on that."

We all agreed that we were glad Sephra was part of our group, even if I had tried to kill her when she first approached us. Sephra laughed. "This has been a really fun get-to-know-you session! I feel like I've learned a lot about you. So, Ari'yasa, your hardest thing was leaving your love and not really getting closure?"

"Yeah. I was only sixteen when we were separated, almost to marrying age."

"And Tawariell, I'm still a little confused. This dragon attacked you, and it just drove you to want to experience traveling?"

"So, I'd already— traveling and exploring was just innate in me. And the dragon experience just happened because of it. As I learned to be a ranger it kind of just propelled that further, 'cool! I know what I'm doing, and I can go explore more!'"

"And Melima, if I understand correctly, the hardest part for you was you felt like you were kicked away from what you had been striving for your whole life?"

Melima nodded. Sephra smiled again. "And all of you, are you glad that we're here together and formed this band of misfits?"

"Oh, yeah," Melima said. "I'm grateful we've created our band of renegades."

"This is like, fulfilling my lifelong dream of exploring the world," I said. "So, this is like the best thing ever. Other than the fact that, you know, the elves are in mortal peril, but you know."

Kiki came in to let us know that dinner was nearly ready, so we paused our conversation in order to prepare to eat.