Edit 9/28 - Removed a bunch of introductory jargon.

Happy reading, folks!

Act 2 - Chapter 9: 近くにいる; Be Near

The department gave me thirty minutes, and I wasted five. So the other twenty-five can stick it where it hurts.

I like when Papa shows reason.

I like when Papa listens to me.

I like when Papa protects me.

I like when Papa lets me close.

I like when Papa sacrifices.

But alas, the only thing Papa unwillingly sacrificed was his house, his beer, and the choice to see me any longer. His attitude towards me is not what it once was. His tired eyelids failed to open up from across the meeting room... refused to look my way.

In that pitiful prison just this morning, Papa changed my mind and said only one thing before getting himself yanked from his chair.

"Shinjimae."

No counsel could convince me Papa loved me anymore. I have friends who do much better.

OoOoOoO

2:17 PM

I'm done r u still home

Doctor's orders. Can't go anywhere or else the guy with the big scary needle will find me.

Better the needle than the fist.

Don't tell me he hurt you. There's not much I'll be able to say.

Nuthin more than my heart I'llbefine

Nat

I swear im fine dont do anything stupid

Okay. I woke up late. Door's unlocked.

OoOoOoO

Nay's house was far away for my little legs, but I was proud of the exercise I've gotten so far. What could a few more blocks harm? I also had my rolling suitcase, which meant no heavy lifting was required. All it kept was a week's worth of clothes (which wasn't much for someone with my economic background), essentials, and a few kitchen supplies I've scrapped together.

I was a strong woman. I've held myself together for so long, and my boundaries would be crossed no longer. Moving from my old home is but the first step to freedom and building a fortress is the second.

"Could you imagine what it feels like to reach into your heart and display it to others?"

Yet the further I went, the heavier my brain became. I've created walls before, and people have torn them down time and time again.

"My head wants the poem to go on, even when the words aren't there. I think that's a good thing."

What if he does that while I'm baking? I stir the batter while he whips up the frosting and asks me what I think of a poem he's shown me. What if he asks me what I'm gonna do without my parents over dinner?

"I know you don't mean harm, and that home isn't great today, but it gets taxing on my end now and then."

I found myself in Naomi's empty driveway before whatever worries I had could overpower me. Papa would've said they were a catalyst of bad decision making, but he was wrong. I've made a good decision from the moment I marched out of that prison.

Shaking my head to clear any remaining nerves, I lifted a knuckle to my friend's front door.

RING RING! RING RING!

Frick me. I picked up the damned cell phone from my satchel and flipped it open.

"Hey Natsuki, the doctor misdiagnosed as of yesterday, so he has Expressive Aphasia." Monika. She could've called me in the morning while I was scraping through the house for clean kitchenware, or on my walk over to the prison to ease my mind. But noooo, it had to be the very moment I neared his house. What more could this world possibly do to screw me over!

It took a second for me to process exactly what she was talking about, and then I let out an exaggerated scoff. "English, Monika. What has depressive gravy-phobia now?"

I received a few seconds of silence followed by her trademark laughter. "Ahaha, you're too good sometimes!" She giggled some more, to which I played along. "To put it simply, Naomi can't exactly talk. It takes a lot of brainwork, but he can still listen and communicate with us. I wanted you to know before you go off and tell him to speak up."

So Naomi was a mute, and now the class is informed. My stomach shook at the thought of not being able to understand him, but the idea of my friend in a compromised position with the shoes I wore made me shudder; but alas, we could only go up from here. "Okay," I adjusted the grip of my satchel with hesitance, "is there anything else I need to know?"

"Wow, you seem to be taking this better than I thought," she mused.

"It's been a long day. You learn to deal with it."

"Hmmm..." The sounds of vehicle traffic filled the line as the president paused. "He's been in a depressive mood lately, and I don't understand where it comes from. I thought Sayori and I made him feel better when we visited him on our way to her house yesterday. We tried to be gentle and soft, but it was like he had no energy whatsoever."

Go figure, his time at school and the club's been a rollercoaster, is what I wanted to say, but I held back. Everyone's been shellshocked recently and putting the blame on ourselves would do no good, even if I was right. "Have you tried anything fun? When was the last time he's had fun?"

Monika tensed up, "Are you telling me he hasn't enjoyed our club meetings?""No, he has!" I objected, "Do you remember when we met the boys that first day? Or when he was discussing that Martian book with Yuri? What about that time when we all ate the world's greatest cupcakes and tea?"

"Okay okay, Natsuki, I hear you! Maybe we were so focused on getting activities done, but I just wanted something good. Maybe I didn't let things progress naturally. You know how I like to make mountains out of molehills..."

I gasped in awe, now aware of a new question within, "It's okay, Monika. We've all made mistakes. I could've been a little nicer, I guess... What do you think Naomi thinks of us?"

A couple of birds perched on the sidewalk next to me and tweeted their cute and tiny selves in accompaniment to the silence on the end of the line. It was shortlived, for they took off before I could figure out what kind they were; however, one of them left behind a cherry blossom petal. One singular lonely blossom, vulnerable to the humid breeze, lifted up from the ground and carried itself to the afternoon sun. A moment of peace connected me, grounded me to reality. Something warm settled upon my heart.

The worst of our problems were over. They had to be.

Monika sprung back to life, "I can't say, Natsuki..." she paused, gently stirring my growing anticipation to see Nay. I tapped my toes in waiting, "Haven't got the slightest clue. Regret, desperation, tenderness... it's a tossup between that and the silent treatment., no pun intended. I got him to say a couple things yesterday, yet he feels like this wall I can't break through... and I don't know who it frustrates more. The last thing he said was 'the fight isn't easy, but bearable now.'"

"Well..." My hands adjusted their grip on the phone, and I leaned into its microphone, as if telling a little secret. "Let's just be ourselves then, all natural Natsuki and messy crazy Monika. I can be myself, and everybody else can too. That's all I asked for when joining your silly club, right?"

"Hahaha, I'm not crazy! However, I do agree. Uhm, I just left Sayori's. Take care of yourself today, okay?"

An unidentifiable giggle made its way through my stomach. I felt like the leader of my own life for once, and it was so liberating to hear the most popular girl in school tell me to keep well. "Heehee. I'll do what I want, Monika. Thanks."

"No prob, bye."

I hung up the phone before she could get another word in. Monika's been invasive of Nay's alone time for the past few days. What happened between the two for her to have such an attachment? I wondered what my feelings- Wrong. Now is not the time to become emotionally invested in someone else.

...

But I really want to. I don't have to live under the burden of a controlling Dad. And I planned for this weekend to mean something to me.

I thought back to Nay's first official club meeting and recalled the time we shared in the nurse's office. It was a only a few scarce moments, but the blonde gave no red flags at all; he only worried me a little with the injury on his noggin. I flipped out because no one gets bruised on the head unless they're either Sayori or somebody else was doing really bad things. None of my friends in class receive such treatment until it was a dire emergency. Being emotionally invested in someone was asking for public humiliation, and my walls were too strong to let something so fleeting blow up my tower.

But Nay shared his food, let me make fun with his backpack, and I got to keep his poem... and he let me read it first. He offered himself physically, emotionally, mentally, made me feel safe to express myself - even though I didn't enjoy it. I was liberated by him, not confined. And just as I told Monika, I shouldn't have to put up any barrier against him.

And so I was gonna give him a fun night (and maybe the weekend). We were gonna bake for the festival, read Parfait Girls, watch movies, visit the park. It was gonna be the time of our lives! All I had to do was clear one last hurdle...

I took inspiration from Naomi's poem and wrote something as a little gift to him; it helped that I've masked in some of Yuri's style, put in a dash of Monika's mystery, and sprinkled some hope from Sayori's poems. That way, it looked more like a really cool poem than a love letter. I pulled my creation out of my pocket and gave it a final once over...

I'll Be the Cave

Your feet may have stumbled and tripped over troubles
Your knees may be weak from your miles of travel
But tonight I have a resting place
A cave for us to stay.

A sunset masked by the greenery nearby
A waterfall replenishes every night
The racing of your heart can ease as I pray
Before the coming day.

I'll be the cave that helps you process life
I'll be the cave where you seek shelter each night
I'll be the cave that brings your mind relief
In a way you thought had left you long ago.

Let's gather joyous thoughts as berries from shrubs
Wade in running water and caress away the numb
Cleanse your anxieties for the river to carry
And let me see you thrive.

Let's carve your adventures in the mineral walls
Mark your legacy so I'll recall
And embrace the reasons we fight and bleed
Under the moonlight with me.

I'll be the cave that helps you process life
I'll be the cave where you seek shelter each night
I'll be the cave that brings your mind relief
In a way you thought had left you long ago.

And when you let me by your side
We'll find new caves, new ways to confide
And best the narrow road.

Who was I trying to fool, it was a flipping love poem! Sayori would've exploded over how cool and cute and romantic it read had we shared during yesterday's meeting. But I don't think they had any idea who it was for.

"C'mon, Nat," I bounced on the tips of my toes to psyche myself up again, "It's only a short meeting. He doesn't really need me here, so I'll just do the work and go back home or elsewhere."

I knocked twice and gently opened the door. "Helloooo? Nay? It's Natsuki. I'm respecting your privacy by knocking, but asserting my authority as best club member by coming in anyway!"

My American cartoon reference would land, but there was no response. The living room looked a little disorganized, but not absolutely trashed like Papa's bedroom. A blanket hung over the single couch, and various coloring books and markers splayed over what I assumed to be the coffee table. The floor nearby was covered in pieces of an upside down Monopoly board game, fake money scattered around. Silly Sayori and Monika may have overstayed their welcome... And Naomi never thought to clean up for me.

"He's been in a depressive mood lately."

My ears caught the sound of running water; he's woken up late, and probably in the shower longer than needed. I breathed in, then out. Though I wasn't here to play maid, I couldn't approve of a messy room going unchecked. After rolling my suitcase into his kitchen corner and taking off my shoes, it was time to do a little cleanup.

I collected all the game pieces and put them back in their container before setting it under the television. The blanket came next, which I carefully folded - and uncannily got a whiff of this wooden-coumarin scent. I'd be lying if I told you it didn't send me reeling with delight - onto the cushion. Down to my knees I went, fumbling through the mess I assume Sayori made... but it wasn't only our sunshine girl.

I padded through a pattern book, filled with abstract shapes and colors. Each color of the rainbow was shaded in a mesmerizing concert, much like a kaleidoscope. Not a single mistake crosses over another's territory. It was almost perfect, and very admirable. Monika's.

Sayori's was an obvious opposite, but presented charms of her own. Many of the colors on a sunrise picture blended with one another. Light blue mixed with dark, sun rays faded into the sky, and grassy fields bled into distant mountains. From a distance, I could tell where each point of dimension stood, but everything was a blurred mess up close.

I gathered all the markers and put them in those annoyingly skinny boxes, and found a blue notebook under all the mess. Before I could tell myself to slow down, the pages opened before my eyes. I saw what seemed to be an attempt at drawing in pencil. Naomi was no artist, but I could tell what he was getting at... until it stopped at the other side of the page.

From the left brewed the makings of a campfire. Circles and cylinders curled and jutted to act as twigs. Soft and curved spikes represented billowing flames. They jumped and threatened the edges with their burning licks. The right side should have been made the same, but my eyes instead glazed over light scribbling.

What's my place? Is it the people who love me so, Or those who've made me a home? Is it there for me, for all my days?

One day I learn you gave me a place. The next, my fortress groans, damage has found his home on the throne. His guests pushed me to the border where there's no space.

My resilience fades. It leaves an open door for evil thoughts to breed, then comfort arrives to close where I bleed. But it was no love, so I worsen anyway.

No voice, no strength. The 'morrow trespassed and whisked me away. It's left me with a mortgage, failed to repay. Let it burn.

Burn.

Burn.

I closed the notebook and set it on top of the other books, leaned back against the couch, and ran my hands through my hair. My mouth remained agape in confusion. How he could feel so indebted to anyone at this point baffled me. Sifting through my thoughts, I stood up and made my way to where I heard the running water.

Sure enough, my ears caught a sprinkling sound with no extra noise. It reminded me of days I knew Papa wouldn't be at home for a long period of time. I'd let all my hair down and feel the hot waters tap against my back and neck like a massage. It was a constant, consistent feeling that'd numb any others away. I tested the door handle, only to find the mass swinging away by my touch. My grip intensified as I yanked it back until it slammed shut.

"H-h-hey dummy!" I couldn't help but blurt out, "Don't leave the bathroom door open. And you're wasting time with me, ya know!" Then the red hot blood swirled in my face. I almost walked into a naked Naomi. My sequence of actions caused a ruckus from inside too. A couple creaky noises later shut off the running water and I heard a couple uncoordinated bangs. He must've tripped over his bathtub or something stupid.

My phone vibrated just a second later, telling me to check it once more...

Nay: Sry give me a couple minutes aaaaaaaaa DX

"That's right, liiiight and easy, but brisk and powerful! We want the frosting cohesive so it's not too thick or thin."

The kitchen was alive and active with trays and containers all over the counters and table. My eyes darted between the batter I was scooping into one tray and the light blue concoction he was creating. Sweet and warm smells of our snacks permeated the atmosphere; I could almost taste it.

Watching my baking partner work was alluring, and about distracted me more than once. From the way the tip of his tongue stuck out to the slight body recoils as he stirred a big bowl, I couldn't tell whether I was being hypnotized. It's almost as if the power in his words transferred to his actions. Though he was kinda cute in his ways - just a little bit - he's been hyper focused on baking ever since he finished dressing up in his bedroom. It wasn't hard to see he felt regretful for having missed Club, but the poor guy was going overboard yet again. Don't tell me I didn't see him wipe the sweat droplet from his brow.

With my hands covered in fluffy kitten mitts, I opened the oven and replaced a nicely done tray of risen cake with my new batch and slapped it shut. A warm clomp of air brushed over my apron and neck and chin, my favorite part of baking. I've grown to enjoy the little things about baking even masterful chefs wouldn't be able to catch. While I care about making the best food ever, I still enjoy the process and the ambience such a task brings.

Taking off my mittens and setting them aside, I ambled over to Nay, "Alright, let's see how well the pro's taught ya!" After gripping a teaspoon, I shoveled a bit of the sweet stuff onto my tongue and padded it along my mouth. Flavorful, no powders leftover, taste was manageable and a little rich but... "Pretty good, Nay. You've managed a decent batch again."

He crossed his arms and raised a defiant brow, shifting the bagginess of his too-large teal tee.

"I swear!" I chuckled loudly and took another teaspoon. This time, it was for him to taste, "Trust me and try it. You doing so much better than Makoto would."

Nay's expression dramatically changed, eyes widening at the little spoon I've almost forced against him. But he did open his mouth for me to pop the utensil inside. He took it out and studied his frosting now consumed. I saw the way the utensil wiggled between his fingers, a redness enveloping his cheeks as he delighted in the concoction.

"Not bad, huh?" I nodded.

He nodded back... And greedily gunned a finger towards the bowl. I barely had any time to process the sudden shift in his decision and grasp his wrist. "Hey, that's not for us- hehehee!" The battle for the frosting commenced, I indebted to keep it safe from its maker.

I pushed Naomi's insistent hand away from the bowl and squeezed between him and the counter, laced with humor, "You're acting pretty clueless for someone who's smart enough to let me teach you baking." His tongue stuck out at me like a little kid. I did the same. "Bleh you! You're gonna have to control yourself and wait. It's only fair since I've done the same foreeee!"

With his dainty-muscled arms he picked me up by the waist and hosted my smallness onto the table. His swiftness took away my breath, the triumphant grin on his lips made me laugh. "Hahahaha! You dare to place the queen of the kitchen back on her throne?"

I watched as he looked around the kitchen, searching for nobody in particular, and then he had the audacity to shrug lopsidedly.

"Naomiiiiiiiii, it's me you doofus!" Kid needed to learn his lesson pronto. I reached over and latched onto his scalp, wriggling my knuckles against him for the classic noogie. "I establish you as my baking servant, you're forever my helper!"

I've never seen him so happy, the biggest smile accompanying his silent howling laugh. He wasn't the only one feeling it; my cheeks hurt and my insides felt free from chains they once held. Just screwing around with this boy could make anyone's day... how could Monika say he had no energy and get a load of the scene we created? Naomi's hands clutched against my arms, my newly acquired height making the battle a challenge for him to overcome.

And then I noticed it, that flame that flickered when we first closed the distance at the nurse's office; whenever I stood too closely in the clubroom; or latched to his side that fateful frightening night. He was here, close enough for me to turn our worlds upside down, to turn my candle into a bonfire.

My poem.

"W-w-wait a second!" I released my grip, causing Naomi to stumble onto the floor while I scrolled through my satchel for that fleeting piece of paper. Not sparing any more words, the parchment arrived to my fingers and I grasped it tightly reaching it out to him. "Y-you need this first. I... I'm sick of holding back."

That's it, I've come to far to run away. This choice was mine to make, no strings or fathers or Literature Club keeping me from its risks and potentials. How ironic it was, Naomi on the kitchen floor, putting my words into his head the same way I did for his, those cheeks flushing red as he computed the jumble I've written.

I screwed everything up. I never spoke with anyone else about my intentions. And now he's the only one to know. This was bad, I couldn't let things escalate. What would his parents think of a homeless? A girl with a horrible excuse for a dad? What if I have "daddy issues" or whatever they call it?

"M-m-m-maybe I should pack up. It's not like I wanted to do anything. Just encourage you. Let me gr-"

"N-Noʇ ʎǝʇ' dlǝɐsǝ"

I choked on my breath and refocused my gaze to Naomi's quiet, wobbly voice. Wet droplets littered my poem now clutched tightly against his chest. My heart dropped, but I remained steadfast to keep my proposition alive. Thinking otherwise was stupid, yeah.

"W-well, at least stand where I see you."

He did and then some, closing the distance between us two with a mind-shuddering embrace. I forgot about how open my legs were as he pressing his face against my right shoulder.

Natsuki Idezuki, the school shorty with a fiery attitude. Me, and its resident's most selfless man. If anybody saw us like this, we'd lose our necks.

I cupped Naomi's cheek, turned his face toward me, and pressed his lips to mine.

TRTT is back, baby!

Edit 9/30 - Changed the last name of Natsuki to fit the literal Japanese language. Thanks, Yukatado!