Thank you all for reading and to those who left a review :) appreciate it. Now, I just wanted to let you all know that we are entering a, shall we say, 'rough patch' in Genovia and I'm not entirely sure you're all going to like it.
But here it goes…
Everything Was Perfect - Part 5.
"Do you remember the conversation that we had that day in the hospital a few years back, when Rupert was in with pneumonia," Philippe said as he sat down in the chair he had moved closer to his daughter and looked up at her, "and after your fall?"
"Come and sit down, tell me about it all." Philippe had said.
Taking a deep breath, Clarisse rested in the chair by the bed while her father grabbed another from by the window and moved it beside hers. "I..." she hesitated as he sat down, but knew she really didn't need to. Not with her father, she could talk to him about anything, and everything. He had been her saviour many times over the years and even now, as she looked down at the tissues in her hand she knew that he would be again. "I spent the night with Joseph. Last night."
"You mean, you...?" He asked and watched as she slowly nodded, her gaze remaining down on her hand resting in her lap. "Ah." He nodded slightly and momentarily looked up. "Was it a drunken mistake, or was it something that you wanted to happen?"
"I was a little drunk, yes, but I can't… I can't ignore that I wanted it to happen." Clarisse said, her voice soft and low, confirming his years' long suspicions. "I have done for such a long, long time."
"I see," he nodded and watched her as she raised her hand to dab her tear filled eyes with the tissue.
"This morning it felt so natural, us being together after all this time, we even talked about our future together after I had finally made the decision to leave Rupert," Clarisse said and finally looked up at her father.
"And does Joseph feel the same way?" Her father asked.
"Oh he does, he has wanted to be with me since the day we met all those years ago in New York," Clarisse said sadly and looked back down at the tissue in her hand. "We both know it's something that isn't going to happen overnight, that it will take time until I am free, but père he's the only one that I can be my true self around, I'm relaxed with him, I can be free, just laugh without the feeling of being judged, or having to follow rules and uphold protocol. He's someone who loves me in return, and treats me how a woman is supposed to be treated."
"Well," her father paused to clear his throat. "He's proved his worth over the years, protecting you and my grandsons, making sure you are all safe. He's someone you want to keep around, of course…"
"Yes," she nodded, the magnitude and implication of his words not lost - it was subtle but the message was there all the same. "But he has said that he's going to leave for a while, to let things settle with everything going on," she said, voice stoic, "Pierre already knows about us, he worked it out himself, and I'm not sure I can cope with that -," she suddenly gasped, "-them knowing my deepest secrets, and what if… what if he doesn't come back to me?"
Philippe rested his hand over hers where it rested in her lap, "Oh, if he has loved you for as long as he says he has, then he will be back, don't you worry about that," Philippe said softly, patting her hand. "My love I don't even need to say this but…"
"I have a duty, I know. I think I momentarily let that slip, let myself dream of something else beyond this role." Clarisse said as her gaze remained down at their hands resting together in her lap before she finally looked back up at him.
"And one day, I believe, you will have that. Just please, don't give up on the dream of that."
"I'm trying not to."
"For now, I'm afraid to say, it just has to be that, a dream." Her father said as he wrapped his arm around her back.
She nodded, tears in her eyes, "I just want to be free, père," Clarisse cried as she looked up at her father. "I just want to be happy. One day."
"Oh bunny, I know you do," Philippe said softly and watched his daughter, his heart breaking as she rested her head on his shoulder. "I know this is hard, but things will get easier. In time we learn to live with our regrets, our wants and needs, and we get on with the business of living."
"I know we do," Clarisse nodded as he smoothed his hand up and down her back, comforting her. She had always been sensible and levelheaded, even as a girl and she could do it again now, it just took digging down for that inner strength.
"Bits of it I do, yes," Clarisse nodded and looked up at her father as he nodded too.
"I remember it because it's the first time you admitted your feelings for Joseph to me, I mean I knew about them already and had done for some time, but that was when you really opened up to me about how you truly felt," Philippe said and watched as Clarisse nodded.
"I remember," Clarisse said as she studied her fathers face a moment.
"Ok, good," Philippe nodded, "and do you remember what I said to you when you came to me that day and told me about the open marriage idea?" He asked and watched as Clarisse looked down at the floor.
"I do," Clarisse said and let out a sigh while leaning forward, resting her elbows on her knees and raising her hands to cover her face with them. "You told me to be careful, and not to get to caught up in it."
"I did," Philippe nodded while leaning closer to her and reached his hand out, putting it onto her back. Smoothing it up and down, to comfort her. "And as much as I love to see you happy at last, I do think that you have done just that. You've got so caught up being in love and being loved in return," he hesitated as she lowered her hands from her face and looked back up at him, as if she knew what he was going to say, "that you're forgetting who you are bunny, who you're meant to be. And no good can come from that I'm afraid."
Making her way to Joseph's suite after having a long talk with her father in the library, Clarisse knocked on the door and waited anxiously for him to answer.
"Come in," Joseph called from the bedroom doorway and watched as the door slowly opened and Clarisse appeared. "Hello you, I was expecting you ages ago. Is everything alright?"
"Yes," she nodded as she stepped into the room and closed the door behind her before walking over to him standing in the bedroom doorway, "sorry I was so long, père came into the library to look for a book and we ended up having a chat about today's events."
"That's okay," he said and watched as she stopped in front of him. "What did he say, is he alright?" He asked while leaning closer and kissing her cheek.
"Yes, he's alright," she nodded and looked into his bedroom, more specifically the open suitcase sitting on his bed, while folding her arms around herself. "What are you doing?" She asked while looking back up at him.
"I'm packing," he replied sadly while stepping closer to her and put his hands up onto the tops of her arms, "not that I want to of course. I would much rather stay here with you."
"I know, and I wish you didn't have to leave either," she said and looked momentarily back over at the suitcase before looking back up at him, "do you want some help?"
"No it's okay," he said and twisted his body to look over at the half full suitcase on his bed before looking to her, as she began to walk slowly across the room towards the bed, "I got it all in hand."
"I don't mind helping, honestly," she said and turned to him once she had reached the bed, "you can bring out some clothes from your closet and I can pack them for you."
"Okay," Joseph said and watched her a moment as she put her hands out onto the sides of his suitcase and looked down at it, "give me a couple minutes to grab a few bits."
"Sure," she said while looking back up at him. "There's no rush."
Nodding, Joseph walked across the room to his closet and began to rifle through his clothing racks, to find what he wanted to take with him. "I managed to get a flight sorted for tomorrow," he said while draping a pair of trousers over his arm.
"You did?" Clarisse said, a hint of sadness in her voice. "What time for?"
"Well Harry managed to change their flights to 10am instead of later in the day as originally planned, and because Sabrina is going to stay here for an extra few days, so that she can be here for you, we just changed her ticket to my name," Joseph replied while grabbing a few more clothing items and made his way back into the bedroom.
"So you're going to London?" Clarisse asked as she turned to him walking over to her standing next to the bed.
"Yes, for a couple weeks. I'm going to help with their business," Joseph said as he laid his clothes down on the foot of the bed. "And then I'll probably return to Italy."
"I see," Clarisse said as she turned back to the bed and picked up one of his shirts that he had just laid down and began to fold it.
"Clarisse, are you okay?" Joseph asked while reaching one arm out and put his hand on the back of her arm. "You don't seem yourself."
"I'm okay," she nodded and placed the now folded shirt into his suitcase. "Just feeling sad that you have to even leave in the first place."
"I know, I'm sad too," he said and stepped closer to her, wrapping his arm around her back as he kissed the side of her head, "but hopefully it won't be for long."
"Hopefully," Clarisse nodded and picked up another one of his shirts as Joseph watched her. He knew though that there was more to it. He knew something else was bothering her.
"Well, I think it's safe to say buying that house now is out of the question," Joseph chuckled and watched her as she raised her hands with his shirt in her grasp.
"Yeah," she laughed lightly, her mind a million miles away, as she began to fold up the shirt.
"Clarisse, talk to me please," he said and watched her as it fell silent between them a long agonising moment, "tell me what else is bothering you."
"There isn't anything else bothering me," Clarisse said as she finally looked up at him and shook her head.
"Clarisse I know you, I know when something is wrong," he said and watched her look back down at his case before putting one hand up onto her forehead.
Letting out a heavy sigh, Clarisse lowered her hand and looked back up at him a brief moment before looking down at the shirt she held once again in her hands grasp. She didn't want to see his face when she spoke the following words, she couldn't see his face in fear of what it would do to her. "I don't think we should continue seeing each other."
"What?" Joseph exclaimed in surprise and shook his head. "How, I mean we just spent the last few days happy together. I know it got cut short, but still. We were happy. And have been for the last two plus years!"
"I know," Clarisse nodded, still unable to look up at him. Her heart was breaking and she knew that if she looked up into his eyes it would break her when she needed to be strong. "And I'll never forget those precious days we spent together-,"
"Look at me Clarisse please," Joseph said softly, interrupting her while stepping between her and the bed and took the shirt from her grasp. "Please look at me."
"I can't," Clarisse said as she took one step back from him with a shake of her head and pressed a hand to her stomach, her gaze remaining down at the floor.
"Clarisse," Joseph whispered and stepped closer to her, gently putting his hand up to cup her chin and lift her head, for her gaze to meet his. When it did it broke his heart. Her eyes were filled with tears, he could see the hurt in them. "Is this what you really want, for things between us to end?"
"No," she exclaimed and shook her head, "no it's not what I want but I have no choice. I got so caught up in us that I forgot who I was, who I'm meant to be. Who I am." She said while putting one hand up onto his chest. "While we were away this weekend I forgot who I was, I'm so madly in love with you that I willingly went out onto the balcony without thinking. I just didn't think when I should have been cautious, I let my guard down and now look what's happened," she said and brushed away her tears with her other hand. "I will always love you, Joseph, but I think for now it's best what we have has to end."
"And I will always love you too," Joseph said sadly and turned away from her as his heart shattered into a million pieces.
"I'm sorry Joseph, I really am," Clarisse said as a sob caught in her throat.
"Yes, and so am I," Joseph said in frustration while turning back to her, their gaze locking onto one another a long moment before he stepped closer and gently grasped her head in his hands, kissing her slowly as she melted against him and put her hands on his sides.
Breaking the kiss a moment later, Joseph pulled his head back just enough to look into her eyes before averting his gaze down to her red swollen lips. "Stay in here with me tonight," he said softly while smoothing his thumb gently over her lips and studied her face.
Biting her lip, Clarisse found herself nodding before Joseph slowly wrapped his arms around her and cupped her bottom to lift her off her feet, making her lock her legs around him and her arms around his neck as he carried her over to the bed. Grabbing hold of his suitcase with one of his hands, his other remaining wrapped around her, holding her against him, he yanked the case from the bed and ended up tipping its contents out onto the floor before they fell onto the bed together, kissing and undressing each other frantically before they made love.
I know you're probably not liking this chapter, but please do let me know your thoughts :) it's much appreciated.