Memories Of Her Father - Part 6.
Closing her eyes at the memory, Clarisse tried desperately to keep her emotions at bay and downed the last bit of scotch she had in her glass, leaving her grimacing at the burning sensation it left behind in her mouth and down her throat. "My père liked scotch," she suddenly found herself telling him. As if it was a new fact.
Turning his head to look at her, Joseph watched as she shook her head and slowly opened her eyes. "I know he did," he replied and nodded before looking at his glass as he held it up in front of him and studied the brown liquid for the briefest of moments. "There were many nights since he moved into the cottage here, that we had a chat over a scotch or two out in his garden."
"You did?" Clarisse said in surprise and shook her head ever so slightly while resting her elbow on the back cushions and her closed hand up against the side of her head. "When was this?"
"Oh, the odd evening here and there whenever I had an evening off, or if I had finished my shift for the day and was waiting for you to finish whatever it was that you were doing at the time, be it a meeting or some event you had attended with Rupert," Joseph said as he turned his head to look back at her staring intently at him. "I would go over to check he was okay, and we'll always end up having a scotch and a chat, mainly setting the world to rights but often we talked about other things too." He said, remembering those evenings spent with her father out in his garden fondly. A pastime he will forever keep close in his heart.
"How come I never knew this," Clarisse asked and briefly averted her gaze downwards before looking back up at him. "You never told me."
"Oh, I just assumed that you knew about it," Joseph replied and watched as she shook her head.
"No, I never knew," Clarisse said, still shaking her head, "what did you guys talk about?" She asked, taking a little comfort in the fact that they had spent time together too.
"Oh now that I can't tell you," he said, giving her a small smile as she laughed a little. "It was all very private. You know, men's stuff. Football, sport, that kinda thing. Nothing you would find interesting."
"Oh yes, that's père all over," Clarisse nodded and looked down at her empty glass resting on her thigh as she licked her top lip before pulling it between her teeth a long moment. "I remember walking into the foyer once and you were there talking with him, and when I asked what you were talking about he told me to mind my own business," she said and they both laughed a little.
"I remember that," he nodded as they both remembered that day.
Walking into the foyer with her assistant, Clarisse smiled when she noticed her père and Joseph stood talking by the table in the middle of the room. "That'll be all for now, Sasha," Clarisse said as she looked back at her assistant and they came to a stop. "Thank you."
"Of course, your majesty," Sasha said with a bow of her head and turned to walk away as Clarisse began to slowly walk over to her père and Joseph, as they both turned to her.
"Hello you," Clarisse smiled and clasped her hands together in front of her, "you alright?" She asked Joseph quietly.
"I am," Joseph said, flashing her his gorgeous smile and watched as a breath hitched in her throat.
"Père," Clarisse said as she unclasped her hands and pressed them together against her fluttering stomach. "Are you ok?" She asked and stepped closer to him.
"I'm ok too," Philippe smiled and they kissed each others cheeks before she stepped back from him. "All the better for seeing you, of course."
"Good," she smiled and feeling Joseph's eyes on her, she took a deep, calming breath before asking. "What were you both talking about when I came in?"
"Now that bunny, is between me and Joseph I'm afraid," Philippe smiled, "it's men talk and none of your business," he teased with a chuckle and tapped the side of his nose.
"Oh," she said with a small laugh and shrugged, "very well."
"Well, I best get on. Take a nice leisurely walk back to the cottage," Philippe said, "bunny I'll see you later on at dinner, and Joe," he said while looking from Clarisse to Joseph, "let me know if you need any help."
"I will, thank you, Philippe," Joseph nodded and looked down at the floor with a chuckle as Clarisse turned her attention to him.
"It's no trouble," Philippe smiled and left them alone.
"Are you going to tell me what that was all about?" Clarisse asked curiously as he looked up at her and watched as she stepped closer to him. So close that they could feel each others warmth radiating from each others bodies.
"No," Joseph laughed and slipped his hands in his pants pockets with a shake of his head, "like your père said, it's men talk."
"Right," Clarisse nodded, "and none of my business," she said, raising her eyebrow at him.
"Something like that, yes," he laughed and watched as she turned her head away.
"You're not meant to gang up on me with my père," she laughed while looking back up at him, "you're meant to be on my side."
"I am on your side," Joseph smiled and leant in closer to whisper in her ear, "I'll make it up to you later," he said and pulled back to find her biting her bottom lip. "I promise."
"You better," Clarisse smiled.
"I think... I need another drink," Clarisse said while lifting her glass from her thigh, to get up, when she saw Joseph extending his arm across the middle part of the sofa between them and offered her his glass.
"We can share mine?" He said, hoping it would stop her from getting up to get herself another hearty serving of scotch. He honestly didn't mind that she did drink, it was up to her after all, but knowing what Addie had told him earlier, about her drinking more since her pères passing, he wanted to do anything that he could to stop that from happening. Knowing it really wasn't her. Drinking the way she is.
"Thank you," Clarisse said and put her glass back down on her thigh before reaching her hand out to take his glass from him, her fingers lightly brushing against his in the exchange.
"You're welcome," he said and moved his hand closer to her, to take the empty glass from her thigh as she took a sip of his scotch.
"You know, my père was a wonderful, wonderful man," Clarisse said somberly as she lowered the glass onto her thigh and watched as Joseph nodded in agreement while leaning forward, to place her glass down on the coffee table. "I looked up to him, I admired him so much and always valued the advice that he gave me. On everything."
"I know you did," Joseph nodded as he sat back against the cushions and turned his head to look at her. Watched as she extended her hand to him, offering him the glass. "Thanks," he said, taking it from her and took a sip of the scotch. He knew that this would be painful for her, talking about her père the way she is now.
"One of the last conversations we had actually was when we talked about the day I opened up to him about how I truly felt about you, how much I loved you, and about the day I told him about the open marriage idea," Clarisse said and shook her head at the memory of them sitting down together and talking about all this the day before her father passed away. The day she told Joseph that they should call it a day between them. "I'd got so caught up being madly in love with you, and being loved in return that I had forgotten everything we had talked about that day in the hospital when we first talked about you."
"What did you talk about?" Joseph asked as he studied her. Watched her as she took a deep breath.
"That you and I being together, is and always will be, just a dream," she said and finally looked up at him. "Don't get me wrong, these last couple years that we have been together, what we have shared together, have been absolutely beautiful and a time that I will never forget," she said, a breath hitching in her throat at the thought of what she was about to tell him.
"Clarisse?" He said as he watched her. "What is it?"
"I guess what I am trying to say is, now that you are officially leaving and will be looking for another job back in Italy, that you should find someone else too, marry and have a family of your own," Clarisse said sadly and watched, heartbroken, as Joseph sat up and leant forward to place his drink on the coffee table before resting his elbows on his knees.
"What if I don't want that?" Joseph asked after a moments silence. "What if I told you that I could never love anyone else the way I love you?" He said as he turned his head to look back at her, "yes I know we can't be together now, and the logical thing would be for me to find someone and settle down, something people have been telling me to do for years… but I can't. I wouldn't be happy with someone else."
"Oh Joseph," Clarisse said softly as she moved closer, closing the distance between them on the sofa and put her hands down on his thigh as she studied the side of his face. "You would make someone an amazing husband, and you would be a wonderful father too. Something that I could never give you," she said sadly, tears filling her eyes as she remembered their child that she heartbreakingly lost. "You're so loving, caring. Anyone would be lucky to have you by their side."
"I can't," Joseph said and shook his head before turning to look at her. Oh how he wished he could turn back time to right before their trip. To a time just over a week ago when everything was good between them and they were so incredibly happy together. He would have never taken her on that trip if he could, the trip that ruined what they had, what they shared together. "My heart is yours, Clarisse, and what we had together was special. I wouldn't be happy with anybody else."
"But you can't stay on your own forever," Clarisse said sadly and brushed away her tears with her hand as Joseph wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer to him.
"Yes I can," Joseph said, unable to fantom the idea of ever finding someone else as they fell back slowly together against the cushions. She was his forever, and always will be. Even when they could never be together. She was the one. His one.
"I just don't want you to be lonely, so won't you find someone that will love you, please," she said, almost pleading with him while wrapping her arm around his waist and tipping her head back on his shoulder to look up at him as he sat quietly, contemplating what she was telling him. "I know that this is hard right now, and probably will be for a while, but things will get easier. In time we will learn to live with our regrets, our wants and our needs, and will move on." She said, resting her head back on his chest as she remembered her father had told her the same thing long ago. "It's inevitable."
Hearing a knocking sound later that night, Joseph's eyes flew open and he quickly lifted his head from where it had been resting on the back of the sofa. Raising his arm up in front of him, he checked the time on his watch and seeing it was just past ten, he realised that he had obviously fallen to sleep at some point during the evening, along with Clarisse, who was laid beside him on the sofa still fast asleep, with her head resting in his lap.
Looking down at her as he put his arm down along the armrest of the sofa, he noted how peaceful she looked sleeping on him and he raised his other hand to brush her hair back with his fingers, wondering to himself now if he had dreamt the knocking noise, or if there was actually someone at the door. But just a moment later, he got his answer when there was another knock on the door before it opened and Philippe slowly stepped into the room.
"Oh hey Joe, I didn't realise that you were here," Philippe said as he closed the door while looking over at him and noticed his mother fast asleep with her head resting in his lap. "Has she been asleep long?"
"A while," Joseph nodded as Philippe moved closer to them on the sofa and perched himself on the armrest of the armchair.
"Oh well she certainly needed it," Philippe said as he looked down at his mother sleeping before looking back up at Joseph. "Father told me ages ago that she had come up to rest so I thought I would come and check on her, make sure she's alright before I head back to the cottage. But I'm glad that you have been here with her."
"Me too," Joseph nodded and looked down at Clarisse.
"Has she been alright?" Philippe asked and watched as Joseph looked back up at him.
"I think so," Joseph nodded, "we had a long chat, and she even managed to eat something too which is good," he said and Philippe nodded.
"Yes, that is good," Philippe nodded, "I'm glad that she's eaten something, it was getting worrying that she wasn't eating."
Nodding, Joseph watched him a moment, contemplating whether to wake her or not before asking. "Can you do something for me?"
"Of course I can," Philippe replied. "What do you need?"
"Can you open her bedroom doors for me, and turndown her bed too," Joseph asked. "I can scoop her up then and carry her through to bed so she doesn't end up with a bad back in the morning."
"Of course, I'll do that now," Philippe nodded while getting to his feet and turned to walk over to his mother's bedroom doors.
"Thanks," Joseph said, and looked momentarily towards the french doors.
"All done," Philippe said as he came back into the room a moment later. "Do you need a hand?"
"No it's alright," Joseph said with a shake of his head. "Believe it or not, I have done this many times over the last couple years."
"Oh, I can believe that," Philippe chuckled lightly. "Well, I will leave you to it."
"Thank you," Joseph said and watched as the young Prince left the room before he carefully manoeuvred himself from beneath her and got to his feet. Scooping her up in his arms he walked across the suite and into her bedroom.
Gently placing her down on her bed, he brushed her hair back from her face and covered her over with the bedsheets before walking back over to the doors to leave. Stopping when he reached them, he turned and looked back over at her a long moment before taking a step back while reaching out for both door handles.
"Joseph," Clarisse said softly and slowly sat up in her bed.
"Yes," he said softly while looking across the room at her as she brought her legs up to her chest.
"Will I ever see you again?" She asked while wrapping her arms around her legs and watched as he let his hands fall from the door handles.
"Of course you will," he replied.
Well, that's the last chapter for this part of their journey and because there is still so much to tell, the next part will be posted for you all soon. But for now, thank you all so, so much for all the support, I really appreciate it. Always have and I always will.
Thank you x