Zero

by TheBordelineNonAlcoholicWriter

Many people were suddenly born with strange powers they have to pay a painful price for. Like humans do when something happens that they don't understand, they try to get rid of what they see as a threat... or use it to their advantage, and maybe that's even worse. What could be the next step in the evolution is used to further ta us back. (Updated description)

13. Chapter 13 The mission

A/N: I kind of want to ask questions as a fun thing but I have to wait until I write a more popular story. The sad thing is that I think I could have had a chance of a more interacting audience with "Smile, no one cares about how you feel" but my self-esteem was so damn low that I just posted all of the chapters over the course of two days after editing and finishing it. I really think I was too hard on myself with that story haha. I'm really proud of it now after getting good feedback.

I'm also trying to find the motivation and time to finish editing more than one chapter before Monday (at least Monday over here) so it won't take 9 more weeks for this story to be finished but that's easier said than done. This isn't exactly fun.

Also, for what you're about to read... I'm sorry (?).

---

Chapter 13. The mission.

Kaoru was inconsolable but to be fair no one tried particularly hard to comfort him. He was in shock over what he had done and sobbed uncontrollably.

Both Rai and him had been taken to the hospital, Rai to have emergency surgery on his eye and Kaoru so they could look if he needed medical intervention and question him. It was almost impossible to get any information out of him since he was just too distraught. It made them cross with him and that freaked him out even more. They tried to tell him that he wasn't in any trouble, but they did it so half-heartedly that he couldn't believe them. Kaoru wasn't the aggressor. That he knew. He knew that he did what he needed to do, but he was just far too afraid of people believing that this was all his fault and he was extremely worried and sad about Rai. Despite his actions being out of self-defense (and a little self-righteous anger) he still felt like the worst person in existence for what he did to his friend. The General had lost an eye for God's sake! What kind of person could do that to someone else?

Someone, Kaoru wasn't sure if it was a doctor with a horrible bedside manner or someone else, actually became so frustrated with his "hysterical patient" that he blurted out, genuinely lost, what Kaoru wanted him to do for him to stop crying. Kaoru managed to stutter out his brother's name, knowing that a familiar (and actually safe) face could soothe him. However, the man just sighed in exasperation and exclaimed that he was "sensitive" and "impossible".

Around three hours passed between the moment Kaoru had arrived at the hospital and when Hikaru was finally summoned. The first two hours had been very messy and Kaoru was barely attended to despite having a bloody nose (it turned out to be broken so they did eventually give him the treatment he needed. The long wait to receive any help was one of the reasons why he didn't believe them when they said that he was in the clear). Hikaru was furious when he saw Kaoru while inspecting his injuries. They held each other for a few minutes and Kaoru calmed down enough to stop crying.

"I… I-".

"I know, I know", Hikaru assured soothingly while stroking Kaoru's hair. "I heard what happened. It's not your fault. You are not in any trouble because you were clearly attacked first", he explained while carefully tracing the bruise on his brother's face. "They don't know everything that happened so you need to answer their questions… the General will be fine".

The last addition was clearly entirely for Kaoru's sake; Hikaru couldn't care less. Despite coming off as understanding and calm, Kaoru could easily tell that his brother was fuming and holding back his rage. The older twin also didn't let anyone else get too close to the brothers, even when Kaoru was being questioned. After a much needed glass of water, most of the story was out in the open. He avoided mentioning his (pretty much confirmed) theory about Rai being possessive and he wasn't exactly sure why. The biggest possible reason was that they would most likely think he was lying because he couldn't prove anything… but a small part of him still didn't want Rai getting into even more trouble since it would reveal his use of the memory treatment. He loathed himself for being too sympathetic for his own good and for not caring enough when he took out an eye. However, Hikaru coaxed him into confessing that he feared for his life so even if Rai wouldn't be reprimanded they could still forbid him from being near Kaoru (he didn't really want to see Rai anyway).

Hikaru was told the whole story when Kaoru was finally allowed to leave after the doctors took pictures of the wounds as proof (Hikaru begrudgingly demanded that Kaoru's private doctor would receive copies, after they denied Hikaru ones, just so he knew for that something would get out of this). It infuriated Hikaru that Rai had been even more horrible than he would have ever imagined and made Kaoru swear to never try to talk to that man ever again. Which was a promise he could keep now without much effort when it was clear that Rai could risk the future blockade's life.

Duncan apologized until his voice went hoarse when he saw the twins outside of the hospital. Hikaru was keeping his arms around Kaoru, almost shielding him away from the blond boy as they tried to ignore him.

"This isn't the fucking time", Hikaru finally told him. "I know being told that you didn't do anything wrong will make you sleep better at night but we both know that he will forgive you so fuck off. Does he look like he is up for talking right now? Leave!"

Kaoru looked at Hikaru pleadingly. He was indeed not energized enough for conversing and just wanted to go to sleep, but he still didn't want Hikaru to be unnecessarily hostile towards Duncan, who Kaoru assumed just messed up by not getting the doctors soon enough? Which didn't sound like it was necessarily the Boy's fault, but maybe he was missing something?

Hikaru did not look remorseful over his harsh words, especially not when Duncan looked sadly at Kaoru and sighed in defeat, letting the twins pass by without him interfering. The younger twin was so exhausted, emotionally and physically, that he fell asleep immediately after his head hit his uncomfortable pillow.

---

Hikaru was sitting on his own bed, staring straight at his bandaged fingers, when Kaoru finally woke up again. The younger twin's throat hurt and his eyes were dry from all the crying. The numbness thanks to the stressful situation had dissipated, he fully felt the pain in his nose, cheek, scalp where his hair had been pulled so roughly, the bruising on his arm after Rai's death grip and his head from dehydration and extreme sadness and anxiety. Still being emotionally distraught, Kaoru wished that Kyoya could have been there with the twins. He wanted to hold his boyfriend and his boyfriend would certainly wish the same as soon as he was told what happened… if he wasn't terrified of what Kaoru had been proven to be capable of. What if Kyoya would be scared off? Had Kaoru finally messed it up beyond saving?

"Can you wait a bit until you think so hard?" Hikaru teased. "You need to rest. I know you are scared, but you can't dwell on these things, not now".

Kaoru assumed he meant scared for the future when it came to his own safety and the decisions concerning Rai (which was true even if it wasn't his most active thoughts currently). He knew he couldn't bring up that he missed Kyoya and was fearing that the older male would leave him or be disgusted with him now. Even if Hikaru had chilled down significantly, he was still very lost and paranoid. Hearing that Kyoya was missed greatly would make him feel hurt over "not being good enough" and hearing about Kaoru's insecurities would make Hikaru angry at Kyoya for "making" him feel this way.

"I know you are right but… I stabbed him in the eye… just like I did with Jiro. I could have killed him… how could I have lived with that?"

Kaoru hadn't actually thought of the similarities until now, him being too preoccupied with his treatment to properly think about his late friend (something that was welcomed by him because it wasn't exactly a pleasant thing to think about). It made him feel guilty to a painful degree, him just "forgetting" Jiro. He thought it was such a disservice to Jiro's memory. Hikaru noticed that his brother became even more distressed.

"Jiro was different, he couldn't possibly have gotten help or had the ability to help himself. His death was the fault of the people in charge", Hikaru told him firmly and it astonished Kaoru to hear that Hikaru even sounded sad and remorseful when he talked about his - no their friend, suggesting that the older redhead was finally ready to let go of his anger and finally mourn properly. "Rai could have… helped himself a long time ago. He still belongs to the outside world to a certain extent. He illegally used the blockade treatment and filled your head with disgusting thoughts knowingly. With Jiro, you defended yourself against someone who was sick, with Rai you defended yourself against a monster. If Rai did try to kill you then whatever you did to him was completely justified", Hikaru explained and stood up, wincing as he put pressure on his toes, and walked over to Kaoru to sit down next to him on the bed. "I am not saying that it would be bad for you to feel awful if you had indeed killed him because you have the biggest heart. But I think you need to hear that it wouldn't have been your fault… I know Kyoya would have agreed with me".

Hikaru sounded a little sour when he said that last part. Kaoru smiled sadly but appreciatively at him and rested his head on Hikaru's shoulder. He was clearly not convinced yet, but the comfort Hikaru tried to provide did help.

"You have a big heart too, you know", Kaoru quietly murmured when he closed his eyes.

"... only when it comes to you", Hikaru disagreed softly and rested his head on Kaoru's. "I don't sympathize with many people".

"I think you just feel hurt by them", Kaoru sighed and opened his eyes again, looking down at Hikaru's hands. "Does it hurt terribly?"

"It's not as bad anymore", Hikaru assured with a small smile. "I don't need to do any more tests before the mission, my powers work perfectly enough for it", he beamed excitedly and Kaoru couldn't prevent a bright smile from taking over his own face,

"I'm glad to hear… are you nervous about the mission?"

"A little, but you and I will be the safest. Especially you, and that is making me feel better".

"You know, I am worried for your life as well. You better keep yourself alive".

"I will as long as you do… ", Hikaru chuckled.

They fell into a silence that couldn't be considered comfortable nor uncomfortable. It wasn't a painful kind of silence so Kaoru couldn't be too bothered by it. Both were subconsciously staring down at Hikaru's hands. Kaoru wasn't quite as used to seeing Hikaru's zero sacrifice as Hikaru was used to seeing Kaoru's. While he most likely wasn't nearly as freaked out as he would have been if he hadn't been a zero with a weird life, it was still a jarring sight. The thick bandage on his broken fingers reminded Kaoru of Ryoichi's hands in a way and he really didn't like that. A thought hit him that luckily distracted him from the sight before him… in a way.

"Remember when you used to go into my dreams… ", Kaoru started off and Hikaru looked defensive at first before shame overtook his face and he kept silent. "I think I know why you started doing it-". "Because you were too damn paranoid and afraid". "-but why did you eventually stop? I don't know why I'm suddenly thinking about this before you ask".

He wanted a distraction and this was the first thing that came up. A small amount of curiosity was still present, so it wasn't just a pointless conversation to keep him too occupied to think about his current predicament. Because why did Hikaru decide to suddenly stop while he was still at the peak of his "insanity"? It wasn't clear when exactly Hikaru stopped, but Kaoru would certainly have noticed if he had tried recently thanks to the neck-snapping he received from the treatment.

"I… I started to feel bad… ", Hikaru conceded and bit his lip with a guilty expression on his face. "I could justify it at first… because I told myself that I was just looking out for you like a brother should, that I was trying to protect you… but… In what way?... Eventually, it disgusted me and I was… I-I was… a little scared… O-of m-m-myself… and I needed to stop or the feeling wouldn't go away".

Kaoru wrapped his arms around Hikaru's waist and nuzzled his face into his neck. Hikaru blinked rapidly like he was trying to hold back tears before he chuckled.

"You shouldn't be comforting me, you know".

"But I want to… this time I know that you actually learned something and won't do it again. I think you are genuinely sorry this time".

"I was sorry every time I apologized…".

"But it never mattered… this time you even stopped before I said anything about it… because I was too distracted to truly call you out but it's still a big thing…".

Hikaru was silent but wrapped his own arms around Kaoru, to the best of his ability. Kaoru had been so distressed recently and while he was at the hospital he hadn't noticed exactly how much in pain Hikaru was in from his zero sacrifice. It made him feel even more guilty, but he tried to convince himself that Hikaru would have understood… and then he felt bad for thinking that!

"I like talking like this with you", Hikaru said quietly after a while. "I like the honesty".

Kaoru smiled at him before detangling himself from his brother so he could lie down. Hikaru followed suit and lied down so his head was hanging off the edge and his feet were placed against the wall.

"Still tired?"

"Yeah… it's been a lot for a long time", Kaoru responded. "Today… or was it yesterday? Whatever day it is, has been the breaking point".

"Things have never been easy for you but I wouldn't necessarily call this the breaking point", Hikaru disagreed respectfully. "I think your reaction was pretty normal. You were forced to stab someone after all".

"I don't know… ".

"I know they were annoying as fuck towards you at the hospital but I think they were just stressed. Your behavior is understandable, you are a human being after all".

Silence overcame them again because none of them knew exactly what to say. Kaoru definitely didn't want the conversation to end because he also liked having nice conversations with Hikaru and didn't want to be alone with his thoughts. He searched his mind until he found something that could work.

"Do you remember a lot about our parents?" Kaoru inquired and Hikaru eyed him weirdly.

"I don't know… Not as much as I used to. Still can't remember what they looked like".

"I have seen them a little during my memory treatment… What do you think went through their heads? About us I mean".

"It was a little confusing… but I think they were confused too…".

"I saw a memory of mom insinuating that I wasn't a real child", Kaoru stated and Hikaru turned his head to fully look at him.

"She made you cry a lot and I always hated that. You always tried the hardest to be their son… But they couldn't see past one thing…".

"I don't know what to feel about them now… I mean, they were misinformed, right?... But at the same time… we were children… their children".

"I try to think of the things that you can laugh about now years later… Like some of the dumbest 'cures' they could come up with. Remember the juice cleanses? Who even suggested that?" Hikaru chuckled and Kaoru laughed along. "Probably one of mom's mom-friends. You know, one of those who don't vaccinate their kids".

"Well, obviously you become a zero if you are vaccinated", Kaoru joked and they both laughed again. "Remember the exorcisms?"

"God yes. Both the amateur ones and the ones with actual priests. Our parents weren't even Christians so I have no idea what they had expected…".

"Well, they definitely didn't become religious after that!"

They kept talking about the funnier parts of their horrible and almost forgotten childhood. It felt relieving, reminding each other of interesting things the other had forgotten, and talking like they were careless teenagers (even if the subject was kind of messed up). The situation was soothing and peaceful. It almost felt like things could get better.

---

The investigation about Kyoya was postponed thanks to the recent development with Rai. The General was not let go (shockingly) but was suspended until they had decided what to do with him. The old man wasn't allowed near Kaoru or any other Boy. Kaoru suspected that Grimes or anyone else didn't actually know the story behind the stab wound above Rai's hip because otherwise the General would have been in much deeper shit. The theory was that Henry had somehow negotiated with him, possibly because he indeed did use an unauthorized weapon. There was no way for Kaoru to confirm this but he couldn't otherwise fathom why Rai wouldn't tell on Henry… Or maybe he now loathed Kaoru so much that he wanted to get him in really deep trouble, even for something he didn't do? The thought created a sinking feeling in his chest even if the first theory was much more believable. Either way, Kaoru was only seen as a victim and hadn't been reprimanded for anything.

With time the situation became easier to deal with, but being apart from Kyoya felt excruciating in a sense. The looks Kyoya would send him across the hall were painful, eyes filled with longing, sympathy and anger directed at the person who hurt Kaoru. While it was incredibly necessary for Kaoru to see his boyfriend show that he was in fact not scared off by what Kaoru had done, the looks did make the distance more painful. He knew that Kyoya needed him as much as he needed him. The older male needed to see for himself that Kaoru was alright after he almost lost him (if Rai's intention was actually to kill him, which was something Kaoru couldn't prove despite them taking his word seriously when he said that he feared for his life). Kaoru wondered if Kyoya would try to really get Rai in trouble outside of the base like he had promised, but maybe he was waiting to see if something would happen without his help, or maybe he had forgotten because of all the stress. Hikaru couldn't quite understand the need for the couple to be with each other despite himself being more clingy with Kaoru after the altercation.

It was more difficult than usual to be social for Kaoru, partly because Hikaru was too paranoid to let other people near him and partly because Kaoru was too emotionally exhausted to care (but it wasn't like he had that many friends anyway). It made it harder for Duncan to talk to him, which seemed to permanently make the blond Boy resemble a kicked puppy. If he played by Hikaru's rules then he could converse with Kaoru sometimes (when Kaoru said that he was up for it or when Hikaru decided that he was truthful about it), but Hikaru always had to be present. The younger twin wasn't actually blaming Duncan for the delay when he needed help. Apparently, he did in fact arrive at the hospital pretty quickly but he wasn't really told who he was supposed to go to and was instead met by a bunch of people who rudely told him to go to someone else or different variations of "fuck off". It wasn't something Kaoru had ever stumbled upon but he didn't think Duncan was lying about it. Maybe someone had a birthday? People were generally less inclined to do their jobs if some kind of party was involved. Kaoru would have wanted to see their faces when the doctors had to put down their champagne glasses to remove scissors from a man's eye socket… even if thinking about said man-made Kaoru sad. Ever since Rai had been wheeled off for surgery, Kaoru hadn't even caught a small and fleeting glance of him. The last look the older man gave him was a mix of rage and something unreadable and it would be burned into his memory forever. He hoped that he would one day be proud of himself for managing to defend himself from Rai, but now he could only think about the fact that he injured someone dear so severely and hurt and damaged his trust. Yes, he shouldn't really care about the latter but he couldn't help it.

"Are you nervous, Kaoru?" Duncan asked tentatively with a cautious look directed at Hikaru to make sure that the older twin wouldn't berate him.

Kaoru looked up at him with a raised eyebrow, with the same tired and detached expression on his face that he had worn since the incident. The question was perplexing; he couldn't fathom what he was supposed to be nervous over. He wasn't under the assumption that Duncan was talking gibberish, a quick look at Hikaru told him that there was something he was forgetting.

"About what?" Kaoru asked back, trying to muster up at least a small smile.

"The mission? It's in a month, right?" Duncan reminded him and Kaoru felt very taken aback for a moment.

Duncan was probably correct about the date, but it still felt wrong. The mission had always been so far away, always months in the future… but now it was only one? It felt unreal and not right. This wasn't the right time… or it never would be the right time. Because there was no reason really as to why he wouldn't be ready within a month (if his next session with Ryoichi wouldn't prove otherwise). Maybe it only felt like this was coming too soon because of his current state… or it felt too soon because this was the first time he actually thought about this in detail. Until now his head had only been filled with thoughts about how great of an opportunity this was and how relieving it was to be an even greater asset… but this was so much riskier than the missions he was used to. He wouldn't lie in bed and only wake up with a couple of cuts, he would put himself in actual physical danger this time around. Sure, he would be protected, the most protected in fact, but that didn't guarantee that he and Hikaru would leave scot-free. It had taken a painstakingly long time for him to truly realize this. Even if the infiltration mission wouldn't cause any injuries, who said that future missions wouldn't? It was unclear if the recent event with Rai was what brought on these thoughts or if the close proximity to the date was the culprit. It didn't matter. Kaoru started to feel nauseous, like a student who realized at the last minute that they had another test to study for. He was too psychologically drained from the treatment, from being away from Kyoya because of a stupid postponed investigation, the revelation that one of his oldest friends had manipulated his feelings and seen him as property all this time, and then the fight that led to Kaoru finally attacking back. The current distress also brought older things back, like Jiro's unfair death, the uncertainty about his and Kyoya's relationship and even his fucking parents (he did not think that the last one made sense at all because who cared about them?). He just wanted the mission to pass, wanted to get a chance to recover while lying in Kyoya's arms, without caring about how cheesy it sounded. That would never happen, new things would always come his way and old things would always resurface.

"I… I guess I am", Kaoru answered Duncan, looking much calmer than he felt, even if he suspected that the other Boys had seen his anxious inner thoughts in his eyes beforehand. "You don't need to worry though", Kaoru assured, tasting the most bitter lie that had ever left his lips.

---

Ryoichi opened and closed his eyes. The expression on his face showed that he was impressed and satisfied… but also something else and Kaoru didn't know Ryoichi nearly well enough to even guess what that could possibly mean. It always felt like Ryoichi knew everything (in comparison to Kaoru) so Kaoru wasn't sure if he actually missed something this time around or if it was just paranoia on his part.

"You didn't feel anything, right?" Ryoichi smirked and Kaoru shook his head. "Congratulations, I can't get in at all. You are a fully functional blockade… but it isn't a good thing?"

His smile softened a little and he looked at Kaoru meaningfully. The taller boy couldn't read his mind, he just confirmed that notion, so the emotions must have been openly playing over Kaoru's face. Kaoru wasn't sure if he had wanted for anyone to see that, but at the same time there was no reason for him to act brave anymore… or rather, he was too tired to bother. If he was pretending that nothing was wrong, or at least not that serious, it was because he just didn't want to talk. Not just about the subject, but in general. He needed to just let time pass by so the anxiety could reduce after the mission when both he and Hikaru were coming back in about the same shape they left in. No what ifs, not now.

It was weeks until the mission. The investigation was finally continued and all Kaoru wished was for him and Kyoya to meet at least once before the twins needed to leave. It wasn't just that he was missing his boyfriend like mad, he just needed to see him. Maybe it felt like an interaction would fill him with a new level of hope and mental energy. He had been in a zombie-like state since the fight with Rai (who he started to suspect wouldn't be reprimanded at all because of the common opinion that losing his eye was bad enough) and he needed the normalcy and Kyoya's comforting words and touch.

Hikaru was helping while simultaneously making it worse, Kaoru had noticed. Not all of it was something the older twin could help. The inability to talk about certain things in case it upset Hikaru and the repression of certain extreme feelings around him wasn't something Hikaru could necessarily help. The older redhead needed help sorting out his own emotions, his jealous feelings stemming from inadequacy about Kaoru's need for Kyoya. A help he couldn't get so Kaoru needed to pretend that he was feeling much better and was immensely helped by his brother. Even if Kaoru didn't receive the help he needed the most. Neither Hikaru nor Kyoya would be enough, he knew that, but a part of him still felt that Kyoya could really make improvements where Hikaru couldn't. Only if the investigation ended a few days before the mission so they could meet. Not just one day before, he needed the time to prepare, but it would have been a perfect cruel joke that would fit right in this mess that was his poor excuse of a life.

"Imagine that I am putting my hand over yours", Ryoichi said jokingly as his mother was taking care of the new wound on one of his stumps. "As comfort".

A half-shocked and half-deranged laugh escaped Kaoru's lips.

---

Three days before the mission, Kaoru was rushing to Kyoya's apartment after receiving the confirmation that the doctor wasn't in fact a predator (shocking). He knocked on the door and waited, pleading internally that his boyfriend would be there (where else would he be? He hadn't been able to visit his only patient).

Knocking again without being too loud to gain any attention from the other doctors that might have been in their own apartments, Kaoru started to grow impatient and restless. Pushing his ear to the door, he couldn't even hear anyone moving in there. Angry tears started to build up in his eyes that he rapidly tried to blink away; he was not angry because of Kyoya, but because of his horrible bad luck. This wasn't fair, this was the last chance he had to see him before the mission, he couldn't have any time tomorrow or the day after. He wanted to sit and wait for Kyoya but didn't want to risk anyone seeing him because they still had to stay as hidden as possible even with their relationship being technically allowed.

With a heavy heart, he forced himself to move away from there. Someone went past him so quickly that he almost fell over and he had to grab the nearest wall for support. Whoever ran like he had ants in his pants stopped and went back to Kaoru again. The younger Boy finally let out a sob as he felt someone hugging him from behind and a face nuzzled into his neck. The embrace only lasted a few seconds before Kyoya carefully led Kaoru back to the apartment. Eager arms tugged the other body closer as soon as the apartment door was locked behind them. Kaoru wasn't crying rivers this time around but he was teary-eyed and breathed in Kyoya's smell like it was the only air he needed in his lungs. Kyoya tried to put so many emotions into the embrace; need, longing, comfort, righteous anger and love.

"I don't know what to do", Kaoru whispered with a hoarse voice. "I don't know how to feel".

"Me neither", Kyoya whispered back and parted them enough for him to be able to look Kaoru in the face.

The older male traced the bruising on Kaoru's face with a heartbroken look full of hidden rage, a touch so gently he barely grazed the skin. Taking the opportunity to really look at Kyoya, Kaoru sadly noted that he looked exhausted and worn out. The nightmares must have been more extreme than usual.

"There is so much to feel", Kyoya continued, stealing the words right out of Kaoru's mouth. "Anger, worry, guilt, relief, sadness… but I know that I still have you and you have me… we can be together now without fear… and Rai is never gonna be near you ever again. I will find a permanent way of getting rid of him, mark my words".

Kaoru chuckled, thick in the voice. Kyoya finally pressed his lips against Kaoru's in a long and deep kiss. The younger male clutched Kyoya's shoulders and the doctor held onto the smaller boy's waist with one hand and cupped his face with the other one. Kaoru was still lost, but having Kyoya with him now gave him a large boost on the way to being himself again.

"You gonna take out his other eye?" Kaoru teased when they stopped kissing; he breathed heavily and there was something dark behind his words.

"You did what you had to do", Kyoya assured, reading between the lines. "It was only a matter of time before someone gave him a taste of his own medicine. In your case, however, it was genuinely out of self-defense and not revenge or provocation like everyone had probably expected… So, you could technically say that he stabbed himself in the eye", Kyoya rationalized and Kaoru chuckled quietly. "He has been out of the hospital for a while, mostly sitting grumpily in his own office, sober since they cut down his supply of alcohol significantly. Partly because of his pain meds and partly because he is now seen as a dangerous drunk… I can't fathom how they couldn't have come to that conclusion earlier but I digress".

Kaoru could hear how truly bitter Kyoya was about it in his voice. Yes, he probably rejoiced (as well as he could under these circumstances) when he heard that the Rai issue was finally taken more seriously, but the old man seemingly getting away with a slap on the wrist and a little less alcohol grated on him greatly. It grated on Kaoru as well but he couldn't imagine how infuriating and unfair it felt for someone who had no positive feelings, that could have softened the blow, towards the general whatsoever. The redhead was unsure if he was supposed to feel jealous of Kyoya's ability to not care about Rai and therefore be rigorously irate with him. Sometimes being able to be angry was healthy, a lot of people fought for the ability to be angry at people who wronged them no matter how much they cared about them, but giving up on his fond feelings towards the General and giving in to his anger completely sounded wrong and foreign. It just wasn't Kaoru, he couldn't hate someone. Especially someone who had been good to him in some ways as well. Maybe that made him weak, maybe this was just a sign of fear.

"I would have wanted to fulfill my threats, but I want to wait and see… and make sure that no step I take would jeopardize you", Kyoya explained. "Grimes brought it to my attention that you are very ingrained here, a lot will inevitably affect you. I didn't get the impression that he said it because he wanted to protect the General, I think more so that he wanted me to understand how it really is to be with someone like you. I can't risk bad publicity from the outside if that means that it could risk a strong demand from influential people to close down this program, your program. It was what happened when they had battle zeros here… I have started to read up on these things".

He sounded genuinely annoyed at the fact that he couldn't use the little power he had but Kaoru deeply appreciated that he didn't want to do anything that could end what Kaoru had going on, no matter how much he disliked the things Kaoru had to do. Yes, obviously Kyoya cared about his life and didn't want to see Kaoru end up dead or homeless or whatever would happen if he was retired, but he could tell that his opinions about him needing to feel needed (that Kyoya disagrees with before in an argument) was honored as well.

"Rai won't be near me anyway", Kaoru assured and placed a small cute kiss on the side of Kyoya's neck. "It's alright. I still appreciate that you tried to protect me… even if it was a tad emasculating", he joked at the end and Kyoya laughed despite his foul mood.

"I will still help with taking him down", Kyoya promised firmly while resting his forehead against Kaoru's. "Do you need to leave or can you stay for the night?"

"I can stay", Kaoru told him and a warm smile tugged on Kyoya's lips. "Hikaru won't be happy but he was made aware that I would stay for the night if I got the news that you were cleared. This is the last chance we will have before I need to leave", Kaoru said and Kyoya's hold on him tightened, but not to the point that it was painful.

"You are gonna be okay, you know… ".

"I… ".

"And if you aren't okay when you return, I'll still be here. Because you'll come back and I'll be here to continue being annoying about your health".

Kaoru burst out crying and Kyoya was kissing him affectionately and holding him, whispering sweet words and promises into his ear. He hadn't felt this warm since what felt like forever. The intention of the older male was to comfort him until he fell asleep, nothing more, but the needy touches he received back (telling him what both of them actually needed), lips against lips, skin against skin and hands everywhere. Every move was full of desperation and longing. Several loving kisses on Kaoru's burning skin made him sob. They took their time but it still burned a little when Kyoya finally pushed inside; the burning was more welcomed than not. Kaoru needed to feel anything he could. The sounds Kyoya emitted also helped to keep him in the moment. He kept whispering encouraging and sweet words in Kaoru's ear as they moved against each other. They took their time with every movement and touch because no one wanted it to end. The whole night was at their disposal, they could take their time. They needed their time.

---

It took effort to let go of Hikaru's hand when they needed to separate to go with their respective groups. Kaoru felt a certain numbness within him, presumably from the high amount of anxiety plus the inability to truly accept what was happening yet.

He was given safety gear and a small knife in case he needed to defend himself, along with a poorly timed joke about him clearly not needing any instructions to use it. It was unclear if the man was commenting on Kaoru's particular kind of zero sacrifice or his history of stabbing people in the eye. Either way, it wasn't something a complete stranger should have joked about, especially if it was the latter.

They had been traveling for two days to their destination. It was just as cold as Kaoru remembered from his memory dive (which felt like it had happened ages ago). A thought passed through his head about wherever the girl whose memory he had visited was even alive at this point. This place had been quite silent for a while. Kaoru was among the few who hoped that this would mean that nothing violent would occur. It would also imply that the people inside probably escaped with their information, hence why Kaoru's opinion was unpopular (not that he naively said what he hoped out loud).

Having been skeptical of this organization actually being the same 0 Light Kaoru remembered, he hadn't spent a lot of time dwelling on if he would accidentally stumble upon anyone from his own 0 Light days. He didn't recognize anyone from the memory dive after all, but it did make him a little curious about why they used the same name. Maybe it was an ironic joke? A coincidence? But the other seemed to see a stronger connection… He guessed he had to hope to receive an answer during the mission.

The mission wouldn't take too long according to the man in charge of the mission (Kaoru didn't care about his name, could be Grim Hendersen again for all he cared), but it would be unpredictable so they didn't actually know for sure. They were supposed to get in there, either take or wipe stolen data, grab research, make a pathway for a more thorough investigation and take prisoners; it was nothing they (with the exception of Kaoru) hadn't done before. It might have been questionable, why they were the department that handled these things, but the military hadn't been like it used to since it had to add zeros to the equations (and other militaries or organizations added zeros as well).

"Remember to not be in the way", a soldier told Kaoru, like Kaoru hadn't been told the same thing several times before over the course of the two days.

"Remember to stay close so you will be protected. Oh, and don't get me or yourself killed, thanks", Kaoru answered with an annoyed and forced smile.

The guy looked quite offended over Kaoru's answer. Well, he shouldn't have been trying to treat Kaoru as a petulant child if he didn't want the stark (rude) reminder that Kaoru was there to keep him safe. Hopefully, it would make people like him leave Kaoru alone unless they actually had something of importance to say.

"Right", the man answered with a sour look on his face before walking away and Kaoru looked after him while pulling his jacket closer around his body.

They were currently waiting for the order to leave. Kaoru's group was one of the first ones to go to the building, the one who wasn't so sneaky (hence why they needed him). Hikaru's group would enter later when they had made sure that the threat was neutralized (when it was his turn to utilize his powers). There was a huge part of the information that Kaoru felt they should have told him beforehand, like what exactly had happened over there? What happened with their experiments? What is 0 Light's purpose this time around? He deserved to know in his opinion but no one cared enough or thought it was relevant for him.

"Inconsiderate assholes", he thought.

One especially inconsiderate asshole told him to discard the fluffiest jacket he had ever worn so he could instead properly put on his equipment. So he would be ready for when they were supposed to leave. The zero glared at him but didn't put any other cold act on display while he obliged. He hadn't been outside of the base for so long, he was used to walking around in a t-shirt and shorts, so he was definitely shivering. This amount of coldness hadn't been a pleasant surprise for his system but the air was fresh and felt real in a weird sense. It was unclear if he was glad about it or not. Yes, truly fresh air filled his lungs for the first time since his childhood, but so did memories and the sad truth that the air in the base could bring on some level of melancholy from now on. Perhaps he was overreacting, but it was never pleasant to know for sure that the grass was greener on the other side of the fence.

"Get in position! Time to move!"

The shout snapped Kaoru out of his thoughts. After a second of confused hesitation, he hurriedly joined his group, standing in the middle to give as even protection as possible. The bouts of stress from before amplified as they started to run out into the snow. Every little thing began to worry Kaoru, everything from not being fast enough for people to not run into him to if he was going to pass out from his labored breathing. Some of the soldiers either pretended or didn't know that he existed because they didn't care at all how much their arms (with weapons in them, mind you) were swinging in his direction. It added another obstacle to Kaoru's already grueling run through the snow and he thought bitterly internally about how it would be their fault if they knocked out their own shield. Them getting themselves killed by taking him down was Darwinism in action as far as he was concerned… but he still wanted to do his job properly and couldn't handle more people getting hurt or dying, he knew that.

The group stopped in front of large doors so the designated guys could try to get them open by hacking the portal. Everyone was clearly preparing for an ambush and it did nothing to soothe Kaoru's nerves. He hadn't been given a shield or anything else that he could use to protect himself against a physical attack. The reasoning behind it wasn't very clear in his opinion, it was something about that he would be fine as long as he stayed close to the others. You would have thought they wanted to take extra precautions with their only blockade that they spent so much time creating. A theory was that they were a little too cocky for their own good. Hopefully, the theory wasn't correct unless the soldiers had reasons to be that cocky.

It didn't take long until the huge metal doors finally opened, creaking loudly enough for Kaoru to fear that they lost every chance they had to be sneaky. The group started to march into the building and the air immediately became thicker; thick enough for Kaoru to lose some of his ability to breathe properly. The air was also unpleasant in other ways, smelling like fumes and chemicals, but at least it was warm (which wouldn't necessarily bode well but it was too early to tell so he decided to not freak out). The room was dark, one wall was covered in tubes that had caved in and leaked gas in different colors. Rubble, broken furniture and large metal barrels decorated the path; perfect for a game of "hide and seek".

Every soldier looked around, suspicious, pointing their weapons at everything in case someone jumped out. Except for the sounds erupting from their movements and the distant noises from some sort of machinery, Kaoru couldn't really hear anything. A horrifying thought was that they were currently under attack by day walker mind zeroes; hiding in the dark while trying their best to force their way into Kaoru's and the soldiers' heads. Yes, Kaoru was a blockade now but he was confirmed as a blockade fairly recently and had never been tested by more than one person at a time (and always by the same person). He didn't have the slightest idea if he could hold back several people at once, or for how long he could hold back anyone. It grated on him how he wouldn't be able to tell if someone tried to use their powers on him or not. The whiplash he received the first time Ryoichi tested him wasn't very pleasant and the same effect followed by several zeroes would have surely decapitated him, but at least he could have been able to know that someone was trying to get into his mind. Now he could only look around, paranoid, with all kinds of different scenarios in his head.

The sound of something metallic hitting the hard floor echoed hauntingly, bouncing off the walls and caused waves of fear within the intruders. One of the men called for everyone to halt. The guy right behind Kaoru wasn't paying enough attention and ran into him, berated him loud enough for the others to hear but apologized afterward silently. Kaoru had no idea how he was even supposed to respond to that. Did they all secretly hate the guy or was he just trying to not come off as the mentally slow idiot he was? Kaoru was half tempted to just push him far away enough from himself just to scare the living shit out of him but that would have been idiotically risky.

They all looked around to search for the source of the noise. Kaoru's heart was beating rapidly and his attempts at calming his breathing only made it more difficult to inhale enough air to not feel like he was starting to choke. A small chuckle escaped the lips of one of the soldiers. The others' eyes followed the direction he was looking at and saw something that resembled a paint bucket laying on the ground. The embarrassment from the realization that it was a freaking can calmed Kaoru enough to get his breathing under control.

"Keep quiet, a human being could still have caused that to fall", the guy who previously called for the to halt pointed out to the chuckling soldier (most likely the leader of the group and Kaoru couldn't fathom how that hadn't hit him before. He must have been more anxious than he thought). "Or do you think that the wind made it fall?"

That made the paranoia come back, harder and stronger, and Kaoru was vigorously looking at every possible hiding place around the tin can to see if he could see any hiding "enemy". The amused soldier looked more serious after that, him being a professional and all, but Kaoru could see that he wasn't completely convinced. Still, with his weapon up, he cautiously walked towards the can. At first, everyone was looking on expectantly but the closer he got to the can, hushed voices started to urge him to come back quickly. It took a second for Kaoru to understand what-

The soldier screamed as his head caved in and twisted like a wet sponge, blood squirted out in thick masses and his body made a heavy thump as it landed on the floor. The mortified redhead knew that he would never be able to forget the sound of that man's skull cracking and twisting like it was a piece of paper. Horrified mumbled erupted among the soldiers and one cried out for them to look for the source but stay close to the blockade. Kaoru's wide eyes were still stuck on the bloody and gory mess that used to be a head so he was taken aback when someone grabbed him and pulled him with them up the hallway. The soldiers were much closer to the young zero out of fear despite obviously knowing how many feet they could be away from him without getting hurt. Among the confirmation that they were indeed under attack, the unwanted and uncomfortable closeness caused a claustrophobic feeling to wake up within him. The return of his breathing difficulties followed suit, because why wouldn't his body work against him?

One of the soldiers yelled something Kaoru couldn't quite comprehend due to his terrified state of mind and a gunshot was heard before he heard another thud. The younger twin looked up and saw a boy, looking to be much younger than Kaoru. Everyone in the group, even the one who took the shot, was perplexed by the age of the attacker. If there was any malice directed towards zero's in the shooter's head, it didn't stop the green sheen from appearing in his face at the realization of what he had done. Kaoru's mind was more present now, more than the others' because he could sense that something was odd about the boy. Absent-mindedly, Kaoru walked closer to the body with the others hurrying to follow suit while asking what he thought he was doing. The face in front of him on the ground looked… empty, in a way that suggested that death wasn't the cause of the lack of life, or human, in it. Of course, it was a human face despite the mannequin-like appearance, but it looked too thoughtfully carved out for his liking, carved out by an artist that didn't leave any unique print. No acne scars, no small bumps, no pores, no dark circles or lines... he couldn't fathom why it felt like an alien was lying before him instead of a human and fellow zero.

Amber eyes traveled from the face to the weird helmet on his head. He knelt down, grabbed it and tried to take it off but the head wiggled along with the pulling. It was somehow attached to the skull despite the lack of straps. The mystery unfolded as soon as he took a better look at the sides of the boy's head. He felt a wave of nausea hit him as he saw what appeared to be thick screws lodged into the little boy's temples. All the twisting had made blood seep out from the small crevices around the intruding metal and Kaoru dropped the helmet like it was scorching hot. A memory flashed before his eyes, followed by a second of immense pressure against his own temples. His eyes widened in realization, this is what grated on him so much when he visited this place in the memory dive months ago. The boy was fairly dressed down for the weather but the gender was wrong; this wasn't who he inhabited. Which meant that the other zero's there were probably in the same situation. The thought made his heart ache for them, this was probably a way of controlling them, most likely irreversible. Maybe it even kept them permanently docile, like they'd been lobotomized. It didn't matter, he had to force himself to stop thinking, it was too late for them.

Kaoru looked up at the others, who seemed pretty annoyed and worked up at him for sidetracking their mission and hindering them from protecting themselves (conveniently forgetting that Kaoru WAS the protection and no one would be able to attack them as long as they stayed close... unless they had weapons but it was their job to protect themselves and him from that).

"There is something seriously wrong here", Kaoru said before letting out a resigned sigh. "They don't have any free will, brains completely scrambled… don't feel bad about killing them… it will… it will only be better for them than the life they have now", he told them, voice thick with pent up rage and sadness.

The men stopped looking at him like he was a little brat who was wasting their time. Instead, looks of determination and a small hint of thankfulness painted their faces. The trigger-happy man from before even looked like he was tempted to hug Kaoru for 'confirming' that he wasn't entirely a child murderer. Kaoru refrained from mentioning that their brains weren't scrambled enough to not be able to make memories, which could have hinted at a little more self-awareness, to not make it more difficult for them. He could carry the guilt himself. Little to no casualties wasn't an option, might as well be the only one who won't be able to leave with a clean conscience…

"What is that martyr-wannabe bullshit? Who do I think I am? They are still shooting children, they are most likely not going to leave with completely clean consciences even if the kids are brainwashed to oblivion".

Kaoru stood up and they changed their formation back to the original one. He could tell that the proof of the blockade working within close proximity and Kaoru's reassurance brought more courage to the soldiers, while it had the opposite effect on Kaoru himself; he still feared that he might not be able to keep away too many people at once after all. He just had to push through it and hope for the best. There was no other choice. They continued to walk through the hallway to look for any other attackers.

Every time someone thought that they had found something, that person called for the others to follow suit, keeping the group close. The first calls were false alarms, giving Kaoru a fake sense of relief that quickly diminished the second a little girl ran out from underneath the table the group was looking under. She didn't scream out of fear like a defenseless child (who couldn't use her powers) would. Instead, her face showed that she was bothered, not scared but bothered. No one moved to kill her, silently mutually agreeing that she couldn't really do anything with Kaoru there. Kaoru felt lighter with every quick step she took away from them.

"Yes… please just fuck off. I know that I said that killing you might be kind and that's true but I'm sorry. I can't see more children die right now. I shouldn't be here, nothing prepared me for this!"

The girl ran towards the end of the hallway, frequently looking over her shoulder to make sure that no one followed her. Grey eyes met amber. She stopped dead in her tracks with an unreadable expression on her face. Perhaps Kaoru's presence confused her because he clearly stood out… she couldn't sense that he was a zero, could she? Zeros couldn't sense each other… right? As sad as it might have sounded, he didn't know enough about his own species to answer that question…

"I don't think I have ever been surprised to learn someone was a zero before… hmm… fuck. Well my circumstances are a little bit different I assume".

The girl pointed at Kaoru and started to scream inhumanly loud and high-pitched. Kaoru and several others covered their ears and took a step back.

"THAT'S THE ONE!" She shrieked and Kaoru felt his blood turn into ice. "THE ONE WITH RED HAI-".

A bullet pierced through her throat and blood splattered against the wall. She still tried to talk despite the injury but only hoarse gurgling noises came out until she fell down to the floor just like her fellow zero friend had done previously. The damage was already done. Everyone knew that Kaoru was protecting them but a blockade was apparently expected so there were two options for why she yelled; either to warn the others to run… or to prepare to take Kaoru out now when they knew where he was. The leader turned to the others.

"Stay close! Protect Kaoru! If he is out then all of us are too!"

If he had been less freaked out, he would have sarcastically told them that he was "moved" that they knew his name. Instead, he was manhandled again, pulled backward and everyone formed a tight circle around him while facing outwards to look for attackers. The preventive measures were better suited for physical attacks so Kaoru wasn't entirely sure what they thought they were doing, but maybe the plan was for other types of zeros to arrive and fight instead, non-mind type ones. That made sense for a second, but Kaoru couldn't understand why they didn't just bring combat zeros right away instead of several mind ones despite knowing that a blockade could be among the infiltration squad. Either Kaoru was missing something vital or they were very ill-prepared.

A headache started to bloom, undoubtedly out of stress, and his skull started to throb. Just what he needed. Two soldiers, within what felt like a second, raised their own weapons and continuously fired until another thud was heard. After opening his eyes and removing his hands from his ears to make the sudden loud noises less harsh for his poor head, Kaoru looked and saw a man, not a boy this time, in his late 20s. He was lying on the ground in a bloody mess, bullets littering his body and with the same type of helmet on his head.

"So there are not just kids here? That makes me feel at least a LITTLE better… but their faces… the girl, the man… it's just like the first boy's. It's so blank and unremarkable and just… What's wrong with them? Gosh my head hurts… ", Kaoru thought while pushing against his temples.

"How did you see him?" The man to his left asked the recent shooters.

"We saw him move", one of them responded and the other one concurred with a nod.

"It appears that they are using the darkness to their advantage. He wasn't completely hiding, we just couldn't pick up that he was there because he hadn't moved. They look like statues so it's not surprising that they could stand completely still for so long if they can't find a good enough hiding place".

"Statutes? Does he mean that they are completely still or did he notice their faces too? Fuck it hurts… ".

"Everyone, look for any mistakes, they can't be perfectly still forever! We can't move around as much so we need to so remember to be patient here!" The man in charge called and everyone started to focus on scanning the area around them.

Kaoru's head was pounding harder and harder. The barely existing light in the room felt too bright for his now sensitive eyes and every sound, even the smallest scrape of a heel against the ground, was way too loud. He narrowed his eyes and covered his ears. Of all the times for his body to betray him like this, it had to be now? Not that it was surprising, he had been in a dark and repressed place for weeks now because of the blockade treatment, of course, it would overflow when he least wanted it to.

"The shooting has stopped", someone told Kaoru a little teasingly despite the obvious hint of ominous fear in his voice. "You don't need to cover your ears anymore".

"No, I know I… ".

Kaoru's eyes widened and he stared into the man's eyes with an expression of pure horror; this wasn't just a normal headache, was it?

"H-help! So-something is- !" Kaoru cried and the pain intensified, making him clench his eyes shut and fall down to his knees.

"What's happening with him!?"

"I don't know, this is not good!"

"Remember that girl? She probably warned the others so they could just attack him!"

"Are you sure about that? Because if you're wrong then we need to move, quick!"

"Yes. Remember, it was incredibly important for them to not find out why he is with us. This is probably one of the possibilities".

"He is right. We have to move now. Kaoru isn't breathing correctly and is slowly losing consciousness. This might be enough to kill him! Everyone, start firing around! Malik and Rikwide managed to find someone in a bad hiding place so that's our first move. Then we need to take more risks".

"By leaving Kaoru!?"

"If they are focused on him then they can't just switch over to us. Some of them are either in a trance-like state and the ones who don't still need to do their zero sacrifice, just like every zero has to".

"That is a big risk, sir!"

"Would you rather wait until he dies and jeopardize our lives and the mission!? We would have been told if migraines could be a problem, like we were told that he could have a mental breakdown. We have no choice, do you understand?"

"Y-yeah".

Kaoru had no idea how he could even comprehend what they were talking about at this point, even if he couldn't tell who said what. It felt like his head was swelling up like a balloon. The beat of his heart traveled through his sweating body and echoed inside his sore skull. At first, he thought he was imagining it when his heart became louder and louder but he quickly realized that the pressure was distressing it too much. What would kill him first? An exploding head or a heart attack? Kaoru screamed and the pain in his head increased until he was almost completely detached from his surroundings when what sounded like explosions went off around him. He was shaking with fear and clutching around his ears. Tears were streaming down his pale and dusty cheeks as he folded himself into a ball on the dirty ground.

"Please, I can't die like this… I can't let them down like this! We are being attacked and all I can do is lie here, useless like the dust around me; crying like a baby. At least Hikaru can't see me like this… thank God Kyoya can't see me like this. It fucking hurts! If I have to die like this then make it stop NOW!"

His heart ceased to beat hard enough to bruise the inside of his chest, the echoing of his heartbeat wasn't as overpowering and his senses became less sensitive. The headache was still very present, but the excruciating pain wasn't extreme enough to prevent him from focusing on things around him anymore. A few more sensations even hit him now when the pain between his ears wasn't as distracting, like how sore his muscles were from how tense he was, how hard and uncomfortable the ground was and how there was a small amount of bleeding around his ears from his fingernails (when did that happen?).

"We got some of them!"

"Ah, that explains it... It was never explosions, just gunshots.".

Kaoru fought to open his eyes and had to keep them narrowed because it was still too bright. His body was so heavy, he removed his hands from his ears and forced himself up in a sitting position, but kept his head low; had his body always weighed this much?

"I think it's working! Kaoru looks better!"

"Not good enough! Pick him up and move him closer to that side! You three need to go and look over there but the rest need to prepare for taking down anyone running away. Don't be afraid to get too far away from him, but you need to be quick! We can't bring Kaoru everywhere".

Someone put a muscular arm under Kaoru's arms around his body and around his torso before lifting him up from the ground. With just one arm, Kaoru had never felt so small and skinny. The redhead leaned almost all of his weight on his helper and shut his eyes again as he was unfortunately currently closer to the (stupid) light. He was carried (slightly manhandled) to whatever direction the boss man told them to go.

"I should probably hold onto him in case we need to move quickly", the voice above him said and Chief told him that it was a good idea, but Kaoru bet the guy just didn't want to take a risk by leaving Kaoru's side.

Coward wasn't necessarily the label Kaoru would put on him because he didn't come off as one. More likely, he just didn't want to put all of his fate into a basket that could have holes in it. They didn't have definitive answers to if Kaoru was getting better because of the slaughter so the redhead couldn't quite blame him. Besides, others probably wished that they came up with the idea of holding the teenage-sized toddler first. Said teenage-sized toddler wasn't too bothered with being in this position, it was better than his previous predicament among the dust bunnies. He still felt like a corpse but at least he was a useful corpse.

Everything felt disjointed. Kaoru was being moved around occasionally but didn't currently have the mental strength to know exactly where and what was going on. He could hear the soldiers converse cautiously and he could hear gunshots from time to time. Everything was still too loud for his sensitive ears but it was more bearable than before, especially if he kept being detached enough due to his headache to be able to fully take in the situation. The younger twin just wanted to fall asleep until he didn't feel like he was slowly dying anymore.

Successively, the headache subsided and it became easier to open his eyes. He could even walk mostly by himself after a while. The improvements in Kaoru's health encouraged the soldiers considerably, even the man who chose to carry Kaoru like he was his drunk friend took more risks by leaving the teenager's side multiple times to search for the attackers. With the slow decrease of the pain, awareness returned and took its place. Anxiety and dread filled Kaoru once more, but the soldiers taking down the other zeros made him a little more faithful in the outcome of the mission. However, he started to consider the fact that he might have made a mistake in not being honest about how aware those zeros might actually have been. Now when he was able to concentrate on his group and think somewhat clearly, the soldiers appeared considerably more indifferent or even excited than they would have. It could have been his imagination, he was fully aware of that, but he couldn't sense any hint of remorse or hesitation. Yes, this could have been due to professionalism or strong justification, but it could also be due to the zeros not being seen as actual people, instead of aliens or robots. Maybe that wasn't entirely a bad thing because, again, they still had to kill those zeros no matter how they felt about it, but Kaoru saw children under the age of ten on the ground. Normalization of child murder wasn't what he had wanted at all, he just wanted to make things easier.

"I thought all I was so far was useless, but I'm actively making things worse. What's wrong with me? Am I going to fuck up and cause the death of more people?"

While the soldiers were still looking around, Kaoru's headache disappeared completely. Relief filled him but disappeared all in the span of a second; this wasn't supposed to happen right now. He raised his head and yelled out to the three people who were excitedly having a moment after finding a few other zeros. It was unclear if they had the time to process what had been said, but they decided to bolt towards Kaoru anyway (not wanting to take any risks). His heart was beating frantically and the other soldiers called for their three mates to hurry before it was too late. A scream erupted from the slowest one and Kaoru froze and despite being terrified of what would happen in front of him, he still looked for what place on his body the zero powers were active. The soldier threw himself towards Kaoru's direction out of desperation and hit the smaller boy's legs. The action made Kaoru double over the soldier and his face planted into the biggest chins he had ever felt under his touch. The scream ceased but the heavy breathing that moved underneath Kaoru told him that the man seemed to be okay. The redhead rolled off him and sat up straight to take a better look. With the exception of a few guys staying on lookout, almost everyone was either kneeling or standing close by to make sure that they hadn't lost another soldier.

"You alright?", one guy asked and received a small nod from the man in return.

"So, you think you can stand up and continue?" Chief (Kaoru decided to just mentally refer to him as that because he couldn't be bothered to learn all the formal titles) asked and received another nod. "What did they do to you? Does it still hurt?"

"It felt like someone tried to cut through my fucking intestines", he growled, still breathing heavily. "I yelled mostly because I felt something there and knew it was gonna happen. I don't think they managed to damage anything though".

He coughed because he hadn't given himself enough time to regain his breath before he answered his superior. Kaoru gave him a sympathetic look, despite the guy having knocked him down minutes prior.

"Are you feeling something weird?" Kaoru asked. "Are you really okay? If you still feel something you could be genuinely injured. Their powers are cut and therefore shouldn't still affect you".

The soldier looked up at him with a confused scrutinizing look. A thought hit Kaoru that this could be the same person who was rude to him previously. The blue eyes turned softer.

"I think I'm okay… thanks… I guess you did protect my ass after all… sorry for tackling you", he said and Kaoru chuckled but Chief butted in before he could respond in an equally joking manner.

"Now is not the time. If you are alright then we have to keep going. We have lost time we could have used to nick the zeros while they were doing their zero sacrifices".

"At least some of them, obviously at least one must have stopped attacking Kaoru a while ago to be able to be prepared enough to attack us now", a soldier pointed out and Chief nodded agreeingly.

"Yeah, probably", he murmured baddie turning to Kaoru. "I need to know how many zeros are left. How bad was your headache before it disappeared? Because I assume it disappearing was what made you suspect that something was up".

"I don't think we would have found them more easily during that time anyway", Kaoru rebuffed his earlier point as he and the blue-eyed soldier stood up again with a little help from the men around them. "And the pain has reduced a lot but a few assholes are still obviously out there. This takes too long, I have a feeling they expect us to kill them off because I haven't seen any of them reacting to the dead bodies. Maybe this is a distraction?"

"That could be a possibility but we can't just leave them here for the next group to be attacked", Chief pointed out. "If only we had more blockades… ".

"Or Ryoichi", Kaoru thought suddenly. "Maybe he could have been able to sense them if he was close enough? I should probably suggest that when we get back… but do I want to be the cause of him being forced out here? He has been hurt enough, should I really risk his health more? I know I should but… ".

"We need to keep doing what we have been doing, that's what we're supposed to do", Chief said sternly before talking into the walkie talkie to inform the outside of their progress and what had occurred.

Kaoru hoped that Hikaru wasn't present to listen when the subject of what had happened to Kaoru was brought up. Obviously, he would be fine with his brother being informed later, even by Kaoru himself if no one else told Hikaru. However, now was not the time, both brothers had important things to do and couldn't be distracted by each other.

"How long are we expected to stay?" Kaoru asked. "If I'm not being exclusively attacked anymore, we won't be able to know if anyone is left, correct? I am supposed to be your shield, not your detector. That's my instructions, that's what I'm made to do".

"You might have to come back with the next group if we can't find every single zero".

"We can't find every single zero. I am a memory zero, not a location finding zero".

Chief's lips were pressed into a thin line. He was a stubborn man but Kaoru got the impression that he was seriously considering the pros and cons of his options instead of angrily dismissing Kaoru for being young and inexperienced. This wasn't an easy situation, they had been pushed into the middle of a long dark corridor and couldn't see which way led to a dead end and which way led to the exit. Getting rid of the zeros made perfect sense but if they had plenty of hiding places it was impossible. Chief sighed.

"There might be zeros waiting for us later on that we won't notice", the older man relented. "These guys might just be a distraction so the more important people can get the chance to get away".

"I will return with the next group if I need to", Kaoru assured, hiding the dread he felt, and received a firm nod in response.

"Good", Chief responded approvingly before turning towards the others. "Let's go".

Walking past the fallen soldier with a mess of a head on the ground was awkward for Kaoru. He couldn't tell what the other guys felt about it but he felt unsure. The man wasn't someone close to Kaoru at all, in fact they never even exchanged their names in a non-formal way that would make the guy's name something memorable, but it still felt bad. The face of the man, which was too mutilated to be recognizable anymore, hadn't registered in Kaoru's mind but his corpse certainly would. Kaoru hadn't failed his mission, but he had still failed; he was supposed to protect everyone in the group.

They walked through a hallway that was familiar. Kaoru almost instinctively turned around to see if he could get a glimpse of blonde hair or a sexist guard. The thought passed through his head; what if she was one of the fallen ones? Kaoru had no idea what her face looked like, nor could he have paid attention to the appearances of the attackers… because they attacked him. So he couldn't know for sure and he wasn't sure if he wanted to either. A gun went off and the familiar thump brought Kaoru away from the (now welcomed) distraction of his thoughts. Luckily, the shooter was once again part of his group… but the victim didn't quite look like the others. Instead of the revealing clothes and helmet, this man was dressed in a suit with a jacket. His glasses had a crack in them from the fall and the expression of horror that decorated his face during his last moment alive was frozen in place, like a cruel mockery of the person who used to be behind it.

"Calm the fuck down! This is one of the guys we are supposed to capture, not kill! Especially considering how he didn't prove that he was hostile!" Chief barked at the man who had accidentally caused this.

"I'm sorry! We have hunted zeros for so long that I-".

"I know, I know", Chief sighed begrudgingly as he massaged his right temple. "Just be more careful, all of you, and hope to God that he isn't the only one left".

"Should we search him?" Another soldier asked, helpfully. "Just in case he tried to get away with important documents?"

"Sounds like a good idea", Chief confirmed and turned back to the shooter. "You wouldn't mind, would you?"

The air felt less thick when they did indeed find quite a lot on the dead man. They didn't have the time to thoroughly go through the information to see what was actually worth bringing back (nor did they have enough insight in the matter to actually know even if they did have all the time in the world) so they brought everything just to be on the safe side.

Luckily for the guy who messed up, they did indeed stumble upon more "normal" humans throughout their wandering. It did prolong their scouting, to go back with the prisoners, but every success made Kaoru feel less and less anxious and his trust in his own abilities increased. On one of the occasions when Kaoru's group returned with someone, he managed to make eye contact with his brother as the older twin was getting ready for his own part of the mission. Kaoru tried to send him a mental "good luck" and the look he received in return told him that Hikaru was trying to do the same thing. Both had a small trace of melancholy amidst the determination, but understood each other enough to never consider pointing that out if they had the chance.

The whole process was otherwise starting to become a little tedious, but Kaoru supposed it was better than the alternative. Action was only exciting when you weren't involved as far as Kaoru was concerned. Duncan sure would be annoying about Kaoru not bringing many interesting stories back to him but Kaoru would cross that bridge later.

"This room looks promising", one of the soldiers said as they entered through a particularly heavy door.

The room in question looked like a huge office with several computers. Despite how spacious it was, Kaoru immediately felt constricted. It was difficult to pinpoint how much or in what way because it didn't feel overbearing or like he was close to a panic attack… but it did feel familiar.

"Close the door behind you", Kaoru ordered, but not in a stern way because he didn't want to receive an earful from Chief or make anyone believe that he was acting like a bossy child. "This is a zero proof room… when it comes to zero powers obviously, I can still enter this room after all… ".

"How do you know for sure?" Chief inquired, warily.

"The difference between being within zero proof walls and being outside of them was clear to me the moment I left the base", Kaoru explained calmly with his eyes attached to the still open door. "Believe me, the only way a zero is gonna reach us is if it's in here too. It's not actually that weird that the proofing exists, they probably want to feel safe somewhere. Especially while they are working on important shit and don't need the paranoia".

Chief looked skeptical but not fully opposed to the idea. Kaoru couldn't completely fault him because the older male only had Kaoru's word and nothing more. Also, taking the risk of being too far away from Kaoru wasn't the most alluring one. However, this room looked like a possible goldmine for information and it started to grate on everyone to have to be so close to each other constantly. It also took forever when they couldn't search different places at once.

"It does make sense", Chief relented.

"I am 100 percent sure and I'll take 100 percent of the blame otherwise".

"I wouldn't expect any less, but I want the room searched for possible hiding zeros before putting all my trust into that basket".

"That's fair".

After closing the door, they did just that. It was slow but everyone needed the process to be thorough, otherwise they wouldn't want to take any risks. One guy yelped in surprise as he opened another one of the lockers and a body fell out. It hit the ground with a painfully similar sound. Kaoru instinctively turned away because he didn't want to see more killing if he could avoid it.

"She appears to already be dead. Look at the blood between her lips", the guy who was an asshole previously, Blue-eyes, noted. "Failure to make her zero sacrifice perhaps?"

"That's very plausible", Chief agreed. "There wasn't much space in there to do anything. Just like every zero here, she is clearly underdressed and I can't see any wounds either".

"Her chest isn't moving either", a red-haired man with a (in Kaoru's opinion) cool beard chimed in. "She doesn't appear to be breathing".

"I am glad that we are seeing the benefits of having a pervert on the team", the Blue-eyes joked and the redhead grumbled something about him being an asshole.

"Not the time", Chief growled but Kaoru couldn't disagree more; he wanted to hear more about that. "But I need you to keep close to her, Phillips. Just in case".

The red-haired guy, Phillips, nodded at Chief and placed himself next to the body. Kaoru kept his face above ground level, no one else appeared as bothered as he was about having a dead body in the room, but he was most likely the least prepared due to the lack of this kind of experience.

The guys finally dared to not be close enough to be glued to Kaoru's side after that. They were slow and careful at first but quickly realized that Kaoru was correct. After that, they did their job better and more efficiently. Kaoru tried to look around as well to not appear so useless outside of his shield duties, but it became abundantly clear that he had no idea what he was looking for. Shortly, he settled for leaning against the wall with his hands behind his back while lazily watching the other men work. His mind wandered to everything he had seen and how it didn't make sense when he compared this 0 Light to the one he knew from his childhood. Back in the day, 0 Light was an organization that tried to help zeros, not weaponize them and take away their free will. The most logical answer was that this was a completely different organization that either chose the same name by accident or because they thought it was hilarious (which Kaoru could respect even if it was quite a morbid sense of humor). At least those seemed to be the most logical options previously, but Kaoru couldn't help but wonder if he had missed something when he was little. Could they have tricked him all along? No, this disgusting behavior was not hinted at when he was part of the organization. They were kind to him, albeit a little naive as he could note in retrospect. However, the name was odd enough to not be a coincidence, he couldn't deny that much longer. Even if this wasn't the same organization, there was a connection. A small one maybe, but a connection nonetheless.

The familiar grating sound of a gunshot echoed through the room. The thought that the body had been alive after all went through Kaoru's head but disappeared as quickly as his body snapped out of his state of shock and an immense pain erupted from his right shoulder. Everything happened too fast for Kaoru's mind to catch up. He grabbed his bleeding limb and fell down to his knees before the realization that he had been shot hit him like a brick wall and he screamed out in agony. People were yelling but the ringing in Kaoru's ears and the last traces of his disbelief made him dissociate enough from the situation to not hear what they were saying.

"I am… shot… I am definitely shot. Why? Where? How?"

"Take him down! Take him down now! And you, make sure that he is okay!"

A few more shots could be heard, more pained screams and then a body fell to the ground; silence followed. Kaoru felt someone gently grasp him and maneuver him so the person could look at the wound.

"Are you feeling lightheaded?" The man asked, sounding stressed and short of breath.

"What… What happened? My a-arm".

"Your arm will be okay. The bullet 'brushed' you. It's lodged into the wall behind you, not still in your arm. Malik saw what Phillips was about to do and pushed him, otherwise you would have been dead or severely injured. Now answer me, are you feeling lightheaded?"

"N-no".

"Good, you haven't lost too much blood. I'll attend to your arm in a sec, keep this over the bleeding for now".

Kaoru wordlessly took the cloth from his hands and pressed it against the source of the bleeding as the other man left to inform Chief of Kaoru's situation. Through narrowed tired eyes, the young redhead looked up from the ground and at Phillips' body. He was puzzled, in disbelief. Why would Phillips just attack him like that? Had Kaoru been wrong about the zero proofing because it made no sense for Phillips to attack his own protection? No, Kaoru couldn't have been mistaken, he couldn't…

Everyone was busy trying to figure out what had happened with loud voices. Kaoru had been propped up against the wall next to the two corpses (because why wouldn't they do that to him?). He kept looking straight ahead instead of at the dead bodies, pretending that they weren't there, as the guy from before tended to Kaoru's shoulder injury to the best of his abilities. The kit they had with them didn't contain much but at least the wound could be (painfully) cleaned and wrapped up in thick bandages to prevent further bleeding. The zero could already tell that Hikaru and Kyoya would freak out when they discovered this, both an endearing and dreadful thought. Endearing because he was a sad excuse of a person who felt that he needed people to show that they cared and dreadful because of the smothering... Okay, maybe a "sad excuse of a person" wasn't a fair description, most people liked to feel cared for. He could be unnecessarily cruel to himself sometimes.

"I thought you said that this was a zero-proof room!" Chief bellowed at Kaoru who flinched like he had been hit. "That did not look like that to me! We lost someone because of you!"

"I was not w-wrong! I-I… ", Kaoru rebuffed half-heartedly with a lump in his throat.

He was starting to panic. It was true that he was still sure this room was zero proof but being yelled at by an adult and being blamed for someone's death still affected him greatly. A part of him really wanted to soak up the blame, the part of him that wasn't very nice to himself, and he didn't know what this man could do when he was angry.

"Then what the hell just happened then, Kaoru!? Why is he dead!? Do you think we would bring traitors with us or what the hell are you implying!? You know what, just keep sitting there next to the little mistake you made. Maybe that will finally fucking teach you something".

Chief turned his back to Kaoru and entered a heated discussion with the other soldiers. The younger twin did not pay attention to it, instead, he tried to calm himself down and hold back the tears. Crying would show immense weakness and he couldn't let himself be vulnerable like that around them. Again, he knew that he hadn't done anything wrong but it still hurt… maybe he could have been tricked? Kaoru didn't know nearly as much about zeros as he should, for all he knew there could be thousands of ways to confuse a zero. If that was the case then Kaoru was indeed at fault, albeit not as much as if he had stupidly just assumed that they were safe without any reasoning behind it.

"Then Phillips did die because of me! Why would I ever think that I could be useful in these kinds of missions!?"

Kaoru didn't know what overcame him but he sneaked in a look at the torso littered with bullets before quickly looking away with a green face, tears burning in the corners of his eyes and rapidly blurring vision. Everyone had their backs towards him but he still refused to cry; he chose this, this was his adult decision… Yeah, he would probably have gone there even if he didn't want to but that wasn't the point. He could be an adult, he could take accountability for his poor choices. This is what growing up was.

Within a fraction of a second, Kaoru's head was rammed down on the ground. It felt like electricity, erupting from the place on his skull that made impact with the hard surface, went through his head and his vision blackened for a moment. When he came to, hands were wrapped around his throat, someone taller than him was straddling his hips and greasy blonde hair tickled his face. The situation felt familiar… in more ways than he wanted to accept. It took a few seconds for his mind to properly catch up with what was happening. He tried to pry away her fingers and yell for help but it felt like her hands were keeping his voice down at the back of his throat.

With a lot of struggling he managed to loosen up some of her dainty fingers and one of her hands was removed just to dig into the bullet wound in his shoulder. The action immediately weakened him and she took the opportunity to smash his head into the ground once again and place herself more on his stomach. His vision became successively more blurry as he went longer without air, but unfortunately for her, her digging her nails into such a sore spot on his body made him release a loud enough strangled scream that they actually got the attention from someone. Kaoru heard a muffled yell and more gunshots before the grip around his throat loosened and the girl slumped over him. The redhead immediately gasped for air but his anxiety skyrocketed from the bleeding corpse lying on top of him, restricting his movements and dead. It made it considerably more difficult to get his breathing under control. Somewhere during his latest near-death experience, he could tell that tears had started to fall because he could feel the wetness on his cheeks.

Someone must have noticed how vehemently labored his breaths were because more yelling ensued before two people pulled the body off of him. The metallic smell of fresh blood was still sharp, but now he could take deeper breaths and try to calm himself down a little. With a good amount of oxygen back in his body, his senses returned to him enough to be able to hear, see and, most important of all, think again. The soldiers were staring at him cautiously, presumably they wanted to check how badly he had been injured this time around but couldn't in fear of making him feel too restricted to breathe normally. Kaoru focused on his own body instead of the others for a second to try to identify the pain. His throat and head understandably hurt but he couldn't tell how bad it was. For all he knew he wouldn't be able to talk very well for some time and had a bad concussion. He would leave that to the specialists but would try his best to not fall unconscious just in case he did have a concussion.

"He seems stable but I still need to take a closer look now when I don't think we will cause him a panic attack", someone said and it snapped Kaoru out of his thoughts.

Kaoru looked at the girl and then at Phillips before bursting out laughing. It was not a happy laugh, in fact it was hurting his stomach. No one said anything but no one seemed to be silently mad at him for laughing either. They could clearly hear how hysterical he was. The laugh wasn't caused for the reason they suspected, him almost dying, but of what an idiot Phillips and the others had been. Chief had chewed Kaoru out for something that was his own fault. They had just assumed "blood on lips, boobs not rising" as her being dead. If those imbeciles had just made a more thorough check-up on her body, they would have seen that she was just holding her breath or something. You could say that Phillips got himself killed, he saw breasts and probably had a short circuit. Kaoru was blamed for what Phillips libido caused. This was stupid, this wasn't as funny as Kaoru's laughter made it out to be but he couldn't help it. His eyes were teary again and he couldn't tell if it was because of the laughing or because of the sadness that lingered underneath.

"Can I take a look at you, Kaoru?" The guy who tended to him earlier asked when Kaoru had calmed down and stopped laughing.

The man was kneeling down next to the young zero. Kaoru looked up at him while breathing heavily, sweat covering his forehead. He tried to respond to the older guy but only a weak whine left his throat.

"So my voice is gone again… people need to fucking stop strangling me".

"Your voice is gone? Can you move your head?" The man worriedly asked and Kaoru nodded. "Can I take a look at you?"

Kaoru nodded again and the man went down to business. First, he checked for any physical wounds, rewrapping the bullet wound in the process, before asking if Kaoru could point where he was hurting. Kaoru obliged, was reassured that his voice wouldn't be gone forever but that a doctor would be a better help at predicting when it would come back, then the soldier started to ask several questions about his headache. Questions such as "are you very tired?" Or "do you feel nauseous?" and so on. The guy didn't have the correct education but reasoned that Kaoru would be okay, just in pain. Which was much better than expected for a guy who was shot and strangled within the span of a few minutes. Two guys slowly helped Kaoru up. He couldn't help looking at the dead zero again and the realization hit him like a slap in the face. Even without being able to see her face before, this was Joseline Broadley, JB.

"This feels even more familiar now. Not just because I have been in this girl's head. JB… ", Kaoru thought and his heart skipped a beat when he looked from Phillips to Joselin; one of her fingers had a giant nail deeply embedded under the nail. "J.B... Jiro Baisotei…? what the fuck is going on here!?"

Not being able to verbalize his thoughts due to his lack of voice, he let them bubble up in an anxiety-filled pot. Yes, a zero's power wasn't unique to them, there were other zeros out there with the same powers, but in Kaoru's mind, this was too much of a coincidence. Joseline had the same morbidly basic carved face as the other zeros they had met there but she had the same hair and eye color as Jiro, she had the exact same powers AND the same sacrifice. Which wasn't actually that common, the following sacrifice was completely random (Kaoru didn't know why). The initials couldn't be considered a reach because Jiro was actually given that name by one of the men from 0 Light, he was truly Jiro Baisotei instead of Botan Baisotei there. Maybe the westernized version of the initials was a little odd but maybe they had more western people working there in later years? Whatever the case might have been, Kaoru wouldn't be able to drop this connection he made. Something was happening, something horrible. He wasn't sure if he should have warned the others, but his vocal issues made the choice for him. Obviously, he would bring his hypothesis to Grimes later but he needed to focus on the now and perhaps try to find more clues.

It was abundantly clear that Kaoru wasn't able to move a lot without support yet. Chief, with the most sheepish and remorseful expression on his face, decided to be Kaoru's human crutch this time around. It could have been considered the closest to an apology Kaoru would ever receive from him which did sadden him a little. Adults never apologized to him when he was a child and, apparently, they wouldn't when he was legally an adult as well (Kyoya didn't count, he was special).

The soldiers scouted the area a little more before they left the room, shooting down two more zeros right outside and Kaoru was too emotionally exhausted to wince this time around.

After a few minutes of searching, when the bodies started to pile up, Kaoru was finally able to walk completely by himself again. Chief nodded awkwardly at him before putting some distance between them.

"This would be infinitely less weird if you just apologize but go ahead I guess… ".

They stopped where there was a crater in the ground. There was a huge hole in the middle of the corridor and looking down into it they only saw pitch black. It was unclear if the darkness was due to the room underneath being dark or if the hole was just very deep. Not that it mattered. If the building had been older, abandoned or had any proof of being destroyed then this hole wouldn't have been suspicious. However, the only other part of the building that was ruined was the hallway where the destruction gave great hiding places for an ambush.

"What's the plan?" One of the guys asked.

"We have jumped higher during training", Chief responded, determined. "We might have to toss Kaoru however".

"You-you have to do what now?" Kaoru asked in disbelief, voice sounding the weakest it had ever been and the action made his throat hurt. "You guys are gonna throw me over the hole like a volleyball ball?"

It was a huge relief that he would still have a little bit of his voice left, but the whole "toss Kaoru over the hole"- thing was dampening that. One of the soldiers laughed and assured him that someone was going to be on the other side to catch him like it would still change the fact that someone was going to throw him over a huge, seemingly bottomless, pit in the ground. Why wouldn't this be a good risk to take? It wasn't like he had so far nearly avoided death three times in the last hours…

"You have nothing to worry about", Malik assured but Kaoru did not feel better.

Yes, the soldiers had arms of Greek Gods, worth a lot of wank sessions for little gay boys like Kaoru (he wouldn't indulge in that of course, it would feel too weird now when he had a boyfriend) but things hadn't exactly been going smoothly in this mission so far.

"Have you ever thrown an 18-year-old before?" Kaoru inquired incredulously with his arms crossed, hissing a little as he accidentally put a strain on his arm and disturbed the still open injury on his shoulder.

"About that weight, yeah", Malik vaguely answered. "So, someone around your size should be easy then".

"Okay-wait… hey!" Kaoru exclaimed, offended because he already had someone pointing out that he was skinny and he didn't need another one.

"Look", Blue-eyes sighed. "I know this sucks, a misstep and we who have to jump over will fall down as well, but we need to get over there. This is what we agreed to".

"No, no, no you misunderstood", Kaoru quickly chimed. "I never said that I wouldn't let you pass me over like an STD, I just… I hoped you guys would help me feel a liiiittle better about it… ", he explained bitterly and received a sheepish laugh in return.

"I don't feel like you would appreciate it if we lied and said that this was a 100 percent foolproof plan… ".

"I guess… ".

The group talked among themselves until they decided who was going to jump first. The guy who was chosen walked backward to gain momentum before he ran and leaped over the gap. Apparently, Kaoru wasn't the only one skeptical of everyone's abilities because the guy was overcompensating and the force made the guy trip and fall on his face as soon as his feet landed on the stable ground on the other side, quite a bit from the crater. Snickering erupted from the others as soon as the guy moved and confirmed that he hadn't just knocked himself out cold. The poor guy himself laughed as well and Chief didn't try to interrupt the brief moment of lightheartedness (at least not immediately).

A couple more soldiers, Chief included, jumped over the gap. Some guys jumped with more grace than others. They decided to then try to get Kaoru over. The young redhead could tell that the guys on the other side were a "little" skittish without their shield boy with them. The issue was how they were supposed to throw him. It wasn't like they could just crumple him into a neat little paper ball and toss him with ease (or maybe they could but he would certainly not fold back out into a living human being again). After a few tests holds on Kaoru, leaving him feeling the tiniest bit violated, they were left with two options; two or more people swinging him over or he would run just like the other guys did but would get a boost right at the end. Kaoru was displeased with both options but much more with the latter one… so of course, everyone, except Kaoru, unanimously decided that was the perfect choice.

"What if you fucking miss me!? All the big talk about being able to just toss me over… ", Kaoru croaked, ignoring how he was probably making his voice situation worse.

"Picking you up isn't the issue but trying to throw you, flailing limbs and all, over a gap that size is proving to be a little more difficult", Malik said a little apologetically. "But this method isn't something we haven't done before. I swear I'll jump down after you if I miss".

"Oh, don't worry, my ghost will push you down personally".

"Stop with your bantering over there!" Chief ordered sternly. "You need to get over here now, we can't waste any more time".

Kaoru was tempted to be an asshole and say: "Yeah I might almost die again if we stall" but that would be too mean even if Chief had zero remorse or sympathy. Instead, Kaoru sighed in exasperation and weakly told Malik that they should just get it over with. Malik smiled sympathetically as Kaoru slowly backed away to give himself enough room to sprint.

"You don't need to go to the end of the corridor", Malik teased as he prepared himself for Kaoru.

"I feel that this is helping… Hopefully I won't screech to a halt out of fear".

"That would definitely make you fall down there".

"... I can't say that it makes me feel better about this to hear that, but I can't say that it's not making me adamant to stop either… ".

"Good… I think? Are you ready?"

Kaoru closed his eyes and breathed in and out a few times before opening them again, nodding at Malik who tried to smile as reassuring as he could muster back to him. The teenager obviously still didn't feel good about this. This felt like a horrible idea, why would he ever want to do this to himself?

"Alright, go!"

Kaoru almost stumbled over his own feet from the sudden speed. He ran towards the pit, feeling more and more scared and the urge to stop increased with every step. It took an embarrassing amount of willpower to keep going. Malik grabbed and threw Kaoru as soon as he was close enough, but the smaller male could sense that the soldier hadn't given him as hard of a push as he had wanted. Kaoru still flew but the panicked expressions, yelling and the preparations to help each other lean as far over the hole as they dared created a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. Luckily he stopped moving when he felt something secure wrap around his middle. Unfortunately, he was still in the air and beyond the others' reach. Quickly, Kaoru looked down around his middle and saw what looked like a thick tentacle, but made out of plants, that came from a large hole in the ceiling. At first, everyone stared in shock. Chief, being the first one to snap out of it, called for everyone to take aim as the tentacle started to slowly retract upwards, bringing Kaoru with it. The memory zero was understandably freaking out but didn't trash around in fear of being released into the pit (which didn't seem to be something that crossed anyone else's mind but he was too frozen in place to utter a word). Forgetting about these kinds of zeros, even for a moment due to his near-death experience, had been a horrible mistake. The mind types from earlier weren't the only part of the place and the hole in the ceiling had probably been "accidental" as well.

"We can't locate the zero!"

"Then shoot at the tentacle! We can't let them take him!" Chief yelled.

"But he is right above the gap!"

"He is close enough for us to have a chance at catching him! We need to take a shot here, they will undoubtedly kill him when they get him away from us!"

That made Kaoru all for them at least attempting to get him down, even if there was a lesser chance that he would be caught. The zero would have just dropped him if there wasn't a possibility that the soldiers could catch him, right? He didn't care if it was far-fetched to think like that, he sure needed every small trace of assurance he could get his shaking hands on.

Everyone fired off their guns at the tentacle. Kaoru's heart skipped several beats as the bullets soared through the air in his direction, especially when a lot of the bullets didn't hit the target or hit way too close to him. Closing his eyes and staying as still as possible felt like the best choice for his nerves but a little voice in his head reminded him that he needed to be able to see when he was actually dropped. He didn't trust his brain capacity enough to believe that he would be able to open his eyes in time (with good reasons) so he unfortunately just had to watch himself almost getting shot (again). Although the bullets did tear the tentacle-like plant, especially above his head since only a few dared to aim at the part of it that was wrapped around him despite it being a faster method, Kaoru was still being pulled upwards.

"Third time's a charm I guess", Kaoru thought with the heaviest and saddest sigh he had ever let out. "It was already ridiculously too good to be true to escape death as many times as I have. I hope that I've at least been useful… I hate to think about Hikaru and Kyoya even if I know that Kyoya will settle with someone else in the future… I can't leave them like this, what the hell is Hikaru supposed to do? I've always known that I couldn't live without him but he can't live without me either! There must be a way for me to get out of here!"

Even if the same voice from before was screaming at him not to, he forcefully twisted himself in the grip. Or maybe it was the other soldiers who screamed because fewer people dared to fire at him now. Turning his body was a slow and painful process; his neck hurt from the strain and his skin harshly rubbing against the sandpaper-like surface tightly wrapped around him.

Eventually, despite the edges of his eyes blurring from the body contortion, he managed to get a glimpse of something above that looked like a silhouette of a human being. The doubt that he was just imagining things wasn't even allowed in his head, this wasn't the time to think too hard. He started to yell and gesture in the general direction of the assumed aggressor after his body forced him to twist back again. Luckily the soldiers seemed to get the picture and fired off where he was pointing. The tentacle around Kaoru squeezed him so hard that he swore he felt his eyes poke out more than they usually did before it let go of him completely. Kaoru lost his breath as he fell but his arms were apparently flailing in the correct direction because he felt someone grab his upper arm harshly. His body jerked and the other person had to adjust his grip to not drop him before he stopped falling completely. Kaoru looked up at Chief's stressed but relieved expression. Kaoru had to keep himself from sighing. Yes, he was incredibly thankful that he was saved but if there ever was a small chance that he would ever get that sweet and well-deserved apology, it was now quashed. Since this would be seen as the apology. He was aware that this wasn't the time for this but for some reason he was just really hooked up on that.

"Some of the zeros we couldn't take down previously must have warned the others of you", Chief quickly theorized breathlessly and Kaoru noted that several equally out-of-breath soldiers were holding onto Chief to prevent him from falling as well. "Are you terribly hurt?" Chief inquired before ordering the others to shift into a position better suited to help him pull Kaoru and himself up.

It was at that moment Kaoru realized that the soldiers weren't just helping to hold up Kaoru, but Chief was barely on the platform himself, leaning dangerously over the gap. He was truly prepared to fall with him.

"Wasn't that what Malik promised to do?" He snickered mentally before remembering that Chief had asked him a question.

Now when the adrenaline had gone down, Kaoru noticed that his body was sore. His shoulder ached and bled through the bandages and he was definitely bleeding from his stomach after trying to spin around in the tentacle's hold, which was to be expected. However, he also noted that he felt a warm burning pain on his cheek and on his left shin; he had been shot twice. Luckily the wounds appeared to be more shallow than the wound on his shoulder… But he was still shot again! Not knowing if it happened before he started to move around or after, he decided not to complain about it yet.

"I think so", Kaoru answered. "I would like to have a floor under my feet now!"

"I can understand that. Are you ready to pull, boys!? I think debris is starting to fall and I would rather not be hit by it. I think he shares my sentiment!"

Kaoru agreed that being hit by debris wasn't the ideal scenario but that wasn't what he was supposed to worry about, as he later learned.

"Everyone ready!? Pull us up on the count of three!" Chief ordered and Kaoru was thankful because his arm was starting to hurt and Chief's hands around his arm were starting to shake (not because he wasn't strong but their position didn't really provide a lot of support). "One-".

Something fell from the ceiling - no, someone, and hit Kaoru. The redhead and Chief stared at each other in horror as Kaoru was falling down after whoever had hit him. He was so full of shock that it felt like his body was leaving his mind behind. You would think that he would have been able to look down at himself descending but his eyes were still a part of his body. The whole experience felt surreal despite him knowing that this happening had been a possibility from the start.

Time didn't move the way it should have, not until he finally made impact and body and mind finally connected again. It felt like he was waking up when the pain spread through his body and the scream that was locked in a cage inside of him during the fall finally broke loose. Kaoru screamed and screamed and screamed, both out of pain but also out of the aftershock and sheer raw fear that had been building up inside of him like an overflowing sink. A part of him was screaming like a maniac to keep up the distracting panic so he wouldn't have to face the possible life-altering injuries. Kaoru didn't want to know if he was paralyzed, he didn't want to know if his limbs were broken or if he was slowly bleeding to death where no one could find him.

Eventually, you do have to stop screaming, and not just because your voice is becoming rather hoarse and sore after a while (which only damaged it even further). So he stopped and tried to once again get his labored breathing under control. Kaoru thought that he could hear people shouting up there but he couldn't make out the words. He forced himself to breathe in and out and try to locate his injuries. His body hurt, no doubt about it, but somehow he didn't think he was as injured as he was supposed to be. First, he moved his head and except for soreness he was fine there, then he moved his legs and he was fine there. It wasn't until he moved his arms when a sharp pain erupted from the right one; broken, undoubtedly broken, but why was nothing else broken? At first, he almost thought that he was unconscious and dreaming about being alright (ish), bruises that would last a lifetime and a broken arm was a bargain. That far-fetched theory became even more obtuse when he realized that he was lying on the corpse of the person who tried to kill him. Immediately he screamed again but it only remained shortly and ended with a violent coughing fit because of how much he had abused his voice. He rolled off the body while holding his broken arm, curling into a ball as he continued to cough with vision blurring from the lack of air.

After being able to see more clearly and breathe with somewhat ease, he slowly and carefully turned to look at the person who put him in this position yet accidentally prevented him from being seriously harmed. It was a man, not too much older than Kaoru by the looks of it, but he was quite a bit larger. Not larger as in fat, he was just larger built. The screws in the signature helmet had clearly scrambled what was left of his brain from the fall, he could tell from the amount of blood seeping out of the space around the screw as well as the ears, mouth and eyes. Kaoru assumed the intention was to take Kaoru down no matter what so the guy had forced himself, on the pain of death, to throw his body down from the ceiling. Becoming Kaoru's saving grace as well was probably something that would have made the guy feel like his death was much less dignified. Kaoru could give him props for fighting until the very end if it wasn't for his situation… and the fact that the guy was most likely brainwashed into doing this.

Despite still being scared and in immense pain, Kaoru eventually forced himself up from the floor with one hand, wincing as the support for his broken arm disappeared. He immediately tucked his wounded limb against his chest and looked around; the room was large and dark, vaguely familiar. Not having been in the building physically before he thought he had a pretty accurate guess on where he was; the lab. This is where his dream diving mission ended abruptly, maybe he could do a little more scouting on his own? He still had his knife on him so he wasn't terribly unprepared for attacks (even if he did have several wounds, including three bullet wounds and a broken arm). One look around told him that he had several exits if he had to leave. Not that he was sure that he was supposed to, if he got lost then no one could find him… if they even would come back for him…

"No of course they would! These guys genuinely try to keep everyone safe! Even if they don't give a shit about me, they spent a long time making me into this. They wouldn't just leave me behind now!"

Shaking those worrying thoughts off of him as best as he could, Kaoru stalked over to the machine where he had been a long time ago. Finding any vital information was probably futile but there was a chance, albeit a small one, that he could see something that could answer the questions in his head. Kaoru still believed that this place was cloning zero powers. This was disgusting. He tried to keep the anger at them doing this to Jiro at bay, but it wasn't easy. The redhead wasn't sure at what level but this felt like someone had violated his late friend, or that this was some sort of despicable mockery. Knowing that there could be more "clones" of Jiro around here made his blood boil. That made him feel like his friend would never get his rest.

Kaoru stopped in front of the machine, in front of a couple of familiar crates with labeled tubes. The anger inside of him wanted- no needed him to crush every single one with the initials J.B. His eyes wandered across all the names until they stopped on one labeled: James Burgdorf. Fuming, he carefully let go of his broken arm and picked the tube up. He threw it on the ground and the liquid splashed against the metal floor. Turning back to the crates, he quickly found another one, and then another one after that. At least five tubes hit the floor but the rage didn't disperse, in fact, he only became more and more irate with every broken glass tube. He was angry for Jiro, angry for the poor mind-controlled zeros, angry for being so pathetic that he got this injured, angry for his and Hikaru's place in all of this, angry because he couldn't sleep, angry because of the unfairness that came with being a zero, angry because he couldn't keep Kyoya, angry because he was terrified… everything was boiling over. Furious, burning, tears were falling down his eyes and he started to destroy tubes at random, not even looking at the labels anymore.

"I don't fucking care if I'm having a childish tantrum, I don't care about anything. It fucking hurts, this fucking hurts… ".

The sound of something hard hitting the ground startled him out of his meltdown. Kaoru looked up, one tube still in his clenched fist, at whatever made the sound. His heart was beating furiously and the pain in his body, long-forgotten during his tantrum, returned with full force but his mind was still too preoccupied to give it his full attention. A girl stood next to him with a Bambi look on her face. She didn't look like she was about to attack him despite having the signature helmet with the screws, she looked more so curious and in disbelief. Her eyes looked from his face to the tube in his hand a couple of times before Kaoru snapped out of his shocked trance and looked down at it as well. He hadn't properly processed the fact that he wasn't smashing the ones with the J. B initials anymore so the name came a little bit as a shock.

"Why aren't you attacking me?" Kaoru tentatively asked, looking at her again. "I was literally at your mercy. Yes, I have a weapon but I am injured to hell and I was distracted. I know you are capable of it, younger zeros have attacked us… just get it over with, no games".

It wasn't that Kaoru wanted to die, he just didn't want some little sadist to play with him beforehand. The girl just kept staring at him, frowning at his words, and once again looked at his face and then the vial in his hand before staring straight into his eyes. Understanding that she was trying to communicate something, he once again looked at the tube, this time focusing more on what the name actually was.

"So, your name is Kaitlyn, Kaitlyn Harrison? I don't understand how you couldn't just say-".

The question died in his throat. His eyes widened and he looked up at her again.

"She even has the red hair and the eyes…".

Thoughts filled his head, like too many clothes pushed inside of a too small suitcase, and he didn't know where to even start. She nodded at him, a ghostly smile on her lips, and took a step closer. Kaoru's body was frozen in place; he couldn't move backward, nor could he move closer. Not that he was sure which of the choices he actually wanted to make, he was too astonished. Did they clone his powers as well or was this a literal clone of Kaoru himself? The line between the two was thinning rapidly. He couldn't remember ever giving anyone permission to do that with his DNA but people generally discarded his feelings for being young and for being a zero. Did the original 0 Light lie to him or did the new 0 Light use what the old one had left behind? Kaoru did do a lot of tests and left a lot of blood after all. The use of his DNA without his consent made his blood boil, but not in the same way as it did with Jiro. It wasn't a surprise that he was more bothered with people he cared about being wronged than himself. Yes, he was angry because this happened to him, but a sense of this just being the life for someone like him toned it down somewhat.

After finally being able to move again, he looked the younger girl up and down with a scrutinizing look. How much alike were Kaoru and Kaitlyn? Who was she to him? Was she like his child? A sister? A triplet? Was she another version of Kaoru or was she simply just a random girl who was injected with his powers? Maybe these guys had figured out how to perfectly create their own zeros with the powers from existing zeros and combined it with willing (or most likely unwilling in this case) participants? The thought thoroughly horrified Kaoru but luckily one detail made him doubt that theory enough to not freeze up again and become stuck in his own anxiety-riddled mind. Kaitlyn had the same face, it wasn't just bland and basic but the exact same one, as Joseline and the same face as every single zero he had encountered in this nightmare building. Were they even humans even before they got here? Human cloning couldn't have progressed this much during the time he was locked up in the isolated base… or?

"Let's just add that to the long list of questions I've picked up on this mission that I'm gonna ask later … if I ever get out of here of course… Maybe she can help me? She doesn't look like she wants to harm me, probably because she sees some familiarity within me. She could even know exactly who I am and didn't just try to make me look at the bottle solely because she couldn't talk. Either way, the brainwashing doesn't seem to be working on her currently… Or maybe she is playing me despite me specifically telling her not to (rude)… Do I have much of a choice though?"

"Kaitlyn", Kaoru said and she looked genuinely happy that he called her by her name. "Do you know who I am?"

She nodded and walked even closer. This time Kaoru took a few steps closer to her. Slowly and carefully, she extended her hand towards him and hesitated a few seconds before wrapping her tiny fingers around his wrist. The dry air made a little bit of electricity erupt from the contact and both flinched at the small but sudden pain. Another memory quickly flashed before Kaoru's eyes because of it and he stared at her once more with disbelief in his eyes.

"Could she also… Could she also have been that weird cloud thing I saw? I can imagine using my powers on her could be a little dodgy because my mind wouldn't be able to differentiate between me (someone who is immune to my powers) and her (someone who has my DNA), but could something similar happen if she is part of the memories as well? That could probably mess things up because of the same reason. I need to ask Grimes… even if that would entail me admitting to keeping a lie like this for so long. Hopefully, he will think everything I've been through today is punishment enough… hopefully".

"I need to get out of here, Kaitlyn. Can you help me? You can come with me, they would want to help you too".

Kaitlyn smiled a little brighter but still didn't move. Kaoru assumed that her brain was at least a little bit scrambled even if she wasn't successfully wired to kill him. He took another risk and gently put his good around her loosely, smiling back down at her. Her exact age was difficult for him to tell. She was younger than him, no doubt about it, but it didn't appear that she was made immediately after Kaoru and the others left because she looked too old. If she was indeed a clone then she either grew ridiculously quick or he had no idea what was up with her. Right now wasn't the time to dwell on that, the guys back at the base could do that for him. He had to make her trust him or make her understand or something like that. Currently, she was just looking up at him with childish excitement.

"I am like your big brother, right? Want to help your big brother out?" Kaoru asked with a small chuckle.

The doors flew open and hundreds of armed guards entered. None of them looked familiar to Kaoru so he just had to hope that his group was okay. They looked around for a second before their eyes landed on the red-haired pair. Kaoru's eyes widened as they all pointed their weapons at them. The girl wasn't hostile, they didn't need to be so paranoid. She was a memory zero, just like him. Even if she was asleep, what could she even do to bring them harm, tell them that she knew they peed their pants too late in life to blame it on being children?

Just as he was about to tell them this, the girl hugged him tighter and nuzzled her face into his throat before letting go but still holding his hand, smiling at the soldiers. Kaoru stared at her with wide eyes as she let go of his hand and ran towards the closest soldier, getting shot down immediately and fell to the floor. Kaoru cried out in surprise and his breath became uneven again. He could have saved her, he could have-

"Down on your knees, Kaoru!" One of the soldiers shouted.

Kaoru slowly turned to look at him with a confused look, not quite comprehending what was happening. His mind was especially slow after witnessing yet another death he could have prevented.

"Wh-what?" Kaoru asked in disbelief.

"I SAID GET DOWN!" The man roared and everyone seemed to be ready to fire their guns.

Kaoru winced and even less air could travel to his lungs. Still startled, he carefully obliged and went down on his bruised knees. He raised one arm in surrender because the other one was still utterly useless. Thoughts were running rapidly through his head; he was trying to trace back to any moment that could have put him in this position. They knew who he was and even if they didn't, he didn't have the goddamn helmet.

"RAISE BOTH HANDS!"

"I-I can't!" Kaoru manages to force out.

The one arm in the air was shaking because of the bullet wound in his shoulder. His whole body was also shaking but out of fear and tried not to cry when he saw all the loathing expressions everyone aimed his way. The tears that threatened to fall only brought shame to the already pretty emotional table.

"Can I stop fucking crying!?"

"I SAID BOTH HANDS!"

Kaoru heard him load his gun and immediately tried to lift his broken arm, biting his lips until the bleed to muffle his screams, but some sounds still managed to escape.

"His arm is all fucked up, sir", another soldier said. "Are you really gonna shoot him for that?"

It did not sound like he was in any way defending Kaoru, just questioning his leader's logic. The coldness made Kaoru almost physically wince. This didn't make sense, this didn't-

Kaoru's eyes widened further before they narrowed in unleashed anger and shame for his own stupid, stupid nativity. He glanced at the dead body of Kaitlyn with a mix of disbelief and hurt.

"I-I swear I never met her until today. She set me up! I was stupid but-".

"KEEP QUIET!" The leader bellowed and Kaoru whined pathetically, this time he couldn't keep the tears in (which he might have been able to do if he wasn't such an easy crier lately… maybe it was justified, maybe). "And lower your arms, you pathetic piece of shit. Trying to gain sympathy for being a clumsy dumbass isn't gonna work".

Sobbing, Kaoru once again obliged while staring at the ground in front of him. Were they really going to obtain him just like that? How close exactly did they even think he was to Kaitlyn? Did they think they just met and she convinced him to "switch sides " or did they think they had known each other all along? It wasn't like he could ask. He also started to wonder if Kaitlyn had planned on killing him initially but realized that people were on their way. It was oddly malicious and thought out for someone who was wired to just attack, but he might have been wrong about exactly how far gone the "zeros" were.

"Fetch him, they are gonna open a portal for us because this is an emergency".

Two soldiers stalked over and grabbed Kaoru's arms roughly, forcing them behind his back as he cried out in pain and the bandage around his shoulder was pretty much soaked in blood at this point. He was cuffed and forced up to his feet.

A portal opened and Kaoru was half dragged half carried out from the cold building, through the portal and into the warmth of the hangar at the base. Kaoru was freaking out and his vision blackened from time to time due to not enough air traveling to his head, but he caught a glimpse of a familiar figure at a table close by, looking completely confounded. Kudoh, one of the only zeros among the Boys sat with his arm on the table, making sure that enough of it was off it to make it easier to break. Some zeros truly had been given the shortest stick when it came to zero sacrifices. Kaoru wanted to shout to him that he hadn't done anything wrong, even if they weren't that close, but he was too scared and worked up to form any words.

Kaoru was led out of the hangar and through a corridor that was vaguely familiar but he couldn't focus enough to tell where he was. He could barely keep up with the pace and had to strain himself to not fall down onto his face or anger the others further by being annoying. The tears had temporarily stopped because the need to figure out what was going to happen to him proved to become too dominant in his mind.

"What are you gonna do to me?" Kaoru asked, pleadingly, as he looked back and forth between the two burly men still holding onto him. "If you take me to Grimes, I can explain! I can-".

"Shut up! We have already gotten orders about what to do with traitors", one of them grumbled and Kaoru shook his head violently.

"No! I am not a traitor! She tri-".

"We will tase you if you don't shut up!" The other one warned threateningly and Kaoru flinched again and didn't bother to remind him that they were only supposed to tase people who were violent, not annoying (or "liars").

Not being allowed to see Grimes made him freak out more. These people didn't know him but Grimes probably knew much more about the ongoing inside of 0 Lights than Kaoru or the soldiers detaining him, Grimes would believe him! … Unless Grimes already knew what was going on? No, that couldn't be it, they were clearly following already set orders about "traitors" and not Kaoru specifically. He wished he knew at least what those orders were… Or he did actually. Very well.

"No, no, no, no, no!" Kaoru yelled while thrashing in their old, not caring if he was messing up his arm beyond saving. "I don't want to go there again, I can't go there again! Please, please! Don't take me there! Don't-".

His voice got stuck in his throat as something touched his chest and electricity went through his whole body, he tensed up with wide bloodshot eyes, drool dripping down his chin and a silent scream pushing out of his open mouth.

After what felt like forever, it stopped and Kaoru slumped in their rough hold and twitched from time to time as they carried him away. He loathed the fact that he was still conscious. His body was still useless but he was still (somewhat) awake. The other two were clearly groaning and complaining that they had to lift him but they only had themselves to blame for that.

They went through a familiar door and Kaoru managed to lift his head just to stare worriedly at the capsule he had been inside many times before, knowing that this time it would be different. Firstly, they almost rammed him into the seat and tied him down much tighter than they had to. Secondly, they didn't provide anything he could bite, presumably so he could answer whatever interrogative questions aimed his way. Being back here was already terrifying but knowing that the pain would be even more intense and unforgiving this time made him almost throw up. The capsule closed and he had never felt more claustrophobic in there as he did in that moment. Kaoru stared pleadingly at the mirror on the wall in front of him, silently begging them to reconsider. He could imagine receiving empty, non-empathetic, looks back. Maybe one of them even snickered before pushing the button that caused the needles to pierce through Kaoru's skin.

Kaoru was burning.