Zero

by TheBordelineNonAlcoholicWriter

Many people were suddenly born with strange powers they have to pay a painful price for. Like humans do when something happens that they don't understand, they try to get rid of what they see as a threat... or use it to their advantage, and maybe that's even worse. What could be the next step in the evolution is used to further ta us back. (Updated description)

18. Chapter 18 Everetts' short time home

A/N: Not a double upload this time since this chapter is longer. The next two will probably be double uploads since they are a lot shorter and there is only four chapters left.

Fun fact: Cinnamon bun day is a real thing in my country, even if it's just used as a thing at a certain place in the story. For some reason, we have several days dedicated to eating different pastries. Like they are not holidays, it's just a "eat this pastry day".

I also want to add a disclaimer. I do make a point of it in the story itself but Kaoru's condition is completely made up and isn't supposed to be compared to DID (Dissociative identity disorder), even if I use terms such as "switching". Kaoru is not switching between altered states of being, his mind is pretty much going forwards and backward in time. Apart from "switching" there aren't many things in common, his ages aren't different people. I might make an attempt at writing a character with DID in the future but Kaoru in this story isn't it. I am not writing this because I've been accused of something, I am just fully against the misuse of DID in media. Like I have yet to find a good and respectful representation.

---

Chapter 18: Sir. Everetts' short time home.

Kaoru appreciated that they wanted to offer a second room for the twins, he really did, but staying away from his brother was the last thing he wanted right now. The man, who had shown them around their new home, told them about the room arrangement and agreed to let them share, a little passive-aggressively and Kyoya put the smackdown on him, reminding him that they should have asked beforehand if this was such a chore for them. The situation made the twins and Kyoya a bit pessimistic over the living situation until another member of the staff, a slightly older man, arrived and quickly diffused the situation with many profound apologies. The three Japanese males still didn't feel super good about this place but everyone was exhausted; the twins just wanted to sleep and Kyoya needed to unpack in his new apartment.

Kyoya's new place wasn't huge but it was noticeably larger than the room he had at the base and the couple of times he had visited the place before moving in already made him feel more at home there despite the increased loneliness.

"We have moved things around now", the nicer man told the twins. "You can settle in now if you want".

The twins didn't respond. They had the appearance of two lost lambs in a wolf's den; they were unsure and afraid, waiting for bad things to happen in this strange environment.

"You two really should get some rest", Kyoya murmured while squeezing Kaoru's hand. "I'll come by and visit tomorrow, okay? I need to fix a few things and get some sleep too".

"Okay", Kaoru mumbled back and they let go of each other before Kyoya left and the twins followed the other man to their new room.

Just by looking at their new room, it was easy to see that it was an immediate improvement to their old one. The color scheme was more appealing with the dark brown wooden floor and a deep blue color painting the walls. Because of the assumption that the twins wouldn't want to share one room, one of the beds was a little bit in the way despite the room being bigger than their last one. The other furniture like the wardrobe, drawer and desk were in the way too. The boys could move things around the next day because it was 6:30 pm and they had woken up way too early that day. However, in lieu of going to bed, as soon as they were left to their own devices, they hurried over to the window. Perhaps it was silly but there were barely any windows at all on the base, especially not in the boys' area. They almost accidentally smacked their heads together on their way but managed to find a position where both could look outside. It was dark outside due to the rain. The yard wasn't anything special, just uneven grass with a swing set and a bench. Granted they could only see from the side of the house so they had no idea what the backyard looked like. The whole place was surrounded by a fence that got quite high at the back. Probably to give the ones wanting to hang out there some privacy from curious bystanders. As someone who could sometimes turn into an age where he was extra vulnerable to people, Kaoru was thankful. Even if the sight wasn't that exciting, it still felt cool yet mysterious to the two boys who hadn't seen grass since they played in it as kids.

"I think I could stay here all day", Hikaru said breathlessly.

"Do you want to go around the yard tomorrow? I hope I'm not too young then".

"I can still take you. You'll remember it regardless, right? At least at that age".

"Yeah, I guess", Kaoru sighed.

They stayed there for a ridiculous amount of time.

When they could barely keep their eyes open, the silent mutual decision was made to finally go to bed. The first thought that went through the twins' heads when they touched their beds was "soft". Their old covers had been much thinner and never had any color that wasn't some shade of beige. These were a warm blue and looked like they could really keep the cold out. It was almost like they didn't dare lie down in fear of ruining the comfort or letting a good moment not last.

Eventually, they did have to go to bed and, with the comfiness almost overwhelming, it didn't take long to fall into a deep sleep.

---

The grass between his bare toes was a weird sensation but in a good way. Kaoru stared up at the sky that was more grey than blue thanks to the bad weather the day before. Hikaru was sitting on the ground further away while staring intensely at a bird picking at a piece of bread a man had dropped before he was taken away. The man had a meltdown over something. Kaoru vaguely recognized him as one of the Boys he knew from the beginning of his service. The man was a little older than the twins and not a zero. Kaoru couldn't for the life of him remember who the guy was, which he would have been able to do if the guy hadn't been a normal human. However, Kaoru did guess that it was the sight of him that had triggered that outburst. It made him feel bitter and guilty, putting a massive downer on his mood despite not actually having proof that he was indeed the culprit.

Kaoru looked up at the tall fence. He still thought that it was good and would keep them safe but he couldn't deny that it was one of many things that reminded him of the restrictions he was used to. The people living there as veterans needed specific medical attention and restrictions, Kaoru knew that, but it was still weird. They weren't allowed to leave unless there was a visitor with permission to take them out or unless it was time for a "field trip". This was to make sure that the most "damaged" people there didn't get hurt but still. Hikaru should have been able to leave after being given enough information about the outside world in Kaoru's opinion. The older twin couldn't have been the only short-tempered person in this world so his mental health shouldn't have kept him from that.

At least Hikaru wasn't forced to have a caretaker following him everywhere as Kaoru did. Granted, the caretaker was nice enough to keep herself far enough away to give him privacy until he switched, but it still felt a little degrading. He only needed Hikaru, he didn't need a full-time babysitter. Speaking of babysitters, he had only stayed there for a little more than a day and he could already tell that the staff's attitude would really get on his nerves. Not once had he turned into a toddler there, younger yes but not a toddler, and still they spoke to him like he was a small child. To be fair it wasn't just something they did to him but to other patients with more obvious issues too but that just made it worse. At least the staff was more caring and it was interesting to be around women for once. They acted differently than the males he was used to, which was nice with the exception of the babying. However, it was quite hilarious to see how lost Hikaru was among girls. Poor guy was flustered and insecure even around the middle-aged ones (which was most of them).

Kaoru decided to sit down finally. Deciding that the birds weren't as fun anymore, Hikaru stood up instead and went over to his brother who was staring at nothing.

"Birds, Kaoru, birds! And they are moving! I wanted to feed them too but I don't have anything. Birds!"

"You saw a bird?" Kaoru responded gleefully, way more than Hikaru had expected.

In lieu of excitement that would mirror Hikaru's because of the shared lack of interaction with animals, he sounded like the thought of the birds were adorable. Oh.

"Y-yeah", Hikaru confirmed awkwardly, trying to figure out a way to peel out without raising any eyebrows so he could disguise himself.

Unfortunately, he didn't have the things he usually borrowed from Kyoya and didn't know of anything else there that could conceal his identity. He was afraid that if he talked or moved too much that he would give himself away. Nonchalantly, he beckoned the caretaker to come closer. She nodded at him and stood up from her bench to move towards them. Slow enough that Hikaru thought she was fucking with him even if he did know that it wasn't on purpose.

"I didn't see the bird", Kaoru said sadly.

"You'll see it next time", Hikaru assured, trying to pitch his voice differently despite Kaoru not recognizing his usual voice.

Kaoru gave him a scrutinizing look and Hikaru started to sweat and vehemently gesture to the slow woman to come quicker. The younger twin's eyes widened and he flew up from the ground while staring at him in disbelief. Hikaru's heart sank.

Before Hikaru could even start to think about what to do, Kaoru flew towards him and wrapped his arms around his middle. Hikaru stood there like a statue until Kaoru started to sob and Hikaru hurriedly started to rub his back in a comforting manner while telling him over and over that it was okay (even if he didn't know exactly what the thing that would be okay was).

"Y-you're here!" Kaoru almost wailed. "You're big but you're here! Don't leave me again! We were supposed to be together forever! Not until Kaoru is sick! … eek! Can you get it from me!?"

Kaoru immediately tried to push Hikaru away so he wouldn't give Hikaru his "sickness" but the other redhead kept him close by returning the hug.

"No! No, don't worry, I can't get it! Only stupid little brothers get it".

"You're stupid!... And we are the same age!"

"Hi there, Kaoru", the caretaker greeted him when she had finally arrived.

Kaoru looked up at her, distrustful, while shyly trying to hide behind his brother who was still a little stunned from what had just happened. She continued:

"My name is Ai, I'm one of the few here who speaks Japanese and I'm supposed to make sure that you're okay and look after you while you're here. Is that alright with you?"

"Hikaru", Kaoru whined to his brother.

"She is nice", Hikaru forced himself to say even though he didn't believe they needed her as much as the staff thought they did (especially now when Kaoru seemed to take Hikaru's age fairly well).

"Nice… ", Kaoru mumbled.

"We don't have to talk right away, I can see that you two are having fun. I'll be over there if you need anything, okay?"

Kaoru mumbled something that could be a confirmation that he heard what she said and she left for the bench again.

"Is she a stranger?" Kaoru asked before she was far away enough to not hear them and Hikaru thought that he heard her laugh a little at the question.

"You don't know her well so yes, but not a bad one".

"Okay… I trust you", Kaoru muttered hesitantly.

"I see that you two seem well", a cheerful voice commented from a few feet behind them.

They turned around and saw Kyoya approaching them, dressed in a jacket the twins had never seen before. It was a lot colder than it was at the base, Kaoru wasn't really wearing shorts anymore and it felt weird to the older versions of him to cover up his legs and arms.

"Kyoya!" Kaoru exclaimed and pulled himself away from Hikaru so he could run and meet up with his favorite doctor. "You did come!"

"Did you think I was lying to you?"

"Adults lie all the time. Especially when they don't want me to whine".

"That's not me. I won't leave for as long as you need and want me".

"You better not", Kaoru admonished and Kyoy chuckled and ruffled his hair again. "I saw a swing set on my way to you, do you and your friend want to test it out?"

Kaoru nodded vehemently and eagerly with a wide grin before turning to Hikaru.

"Do you still like swings even if you're bigger than me now?" He asked.

Kyoya was only looking confused for a second. He gave Hikaru a proud smile and Hikaru rolled his eyes to again make it clear that he didn't do it for his sake. Which was still as stupid as last time since that was not what Kyoya thought.

"Yes, of course", Hikaru responded.

While beaming, Kaoru went back to Hikaru and took his hand before leading him to Kyoya and taking his hand too. The young doctor and the older twin were both taken aback but Kaoru started to lead them away, presumably towards the aforementioned swing set, until the caretaker hurriedly stopped them.

"Sorry, I need to see a visitor's pass and ID", she told Kyoya, a little out of breath since she had been running.

She wasn't in shape but Kyoya hadn't exactly visited the gym in a while either.

"But it's doctor Kyoya!" Kaoru whined while Kyoya complied by giving the caretaker what she had asked for.

"My apologies. I should have introduced myself", he chuckled as he was given his stuff back.

"No worries, doctor. My name is Ai and I'll be the one to look after Kaoru".

"Pleasure to meet you".

They didn't spend time chit-chatting because Kaoru was getting visibly impatient and just wanted to go to the swings.

There were three of the swings, all made out of old tires so two smaller people could sit on while facing each other. Kyoya wondered if it was cheaper with tires, it sure appeared more environmentally friendly (he supposed).

Kaoru made Kyoya push him and the older male happily obliged. Hikaru did decide to join by sitting down on the swing next to Kaoru but it took him a few minutes before he understood what he was supposed to do to make it go back and forth. That made Kyoya wonder if Hikaru had ever done this before or if he had just forgotten due to time (was that even something you could forget?).

Ai stood discreetly in the background and Kaoru giggled and made other happy noises as he was pushed. Despite him being bigger than a child "his" age should have been, Kyoya didn't dare to try to push him too hard. He enjoyed his boyfriend's reactions and didn't want to risk scaring him by making him go too high.

"How are you two settling in?" Kyoya asked Hikaru when the latter male was slowing down until his swing was barely moving.

"Good I think. It's weird and cold outside, but they have more things to do here. I saw a TV and a pool table among other things, which is cool... They treat me like I'm gonna explode at any second. I suppose I should be happy that you didn't tell them about the other thing. That would have made it worse".

"You better not give me a reason to regret that choice".

Hikaru turned to look at his oblivious brother who was still having the time of his life.

"I don't think I will", Hikaru mumbled, not averting his eyes.

Kaoru got quiet for a few seconds before swearing as he almost fell off. Kyoya quickly and carefully stopped the swing and Kaoru turned to look at him.

"Oh h-hi", Kaoru greeted with a forced smile.

His awkward yet rigid body language told Kyoya that he was a younger teenager, but the stuttering threw him off a little bit.

"I'm sorry that I startled you", Kyoya apologized. "I should have considered the possibility that you could switch while doing this".

"D-don't worry! It's not like I was actually gonna fall off from a swing like this!" Kaoru assured nervously and Hikaru sighed deeply like a disappointed mother which confounded Kyoya… until it didn't.

"Oh".

It shouldn't have been a surprise that Kaoru could eventually develop a crush on Kyoya at a younger age, but it just wasn't something Kyoya had considered. For him, it was obvious that romance was only a factor when Kaoru was his real age, so it just didn't occur to him that it was different from the younger male's perspective. Of course, a little pubescent homosexual boy would be a little flustered around a very attentive young doctor. Kyoya couldn't say that he hadn't crushed on several older men in his youth, but this could possibly become a little odd and uncomfortable. He supposed it was better that it was him rather than some creep.

"Do you want me to keep going? If you don't feel too old to be pushed on a swing by a boring adult".

"No it's n-nice", Kaoru mumbled with an awkward cough and Kyoya continued to push him but not as high this time around, immensely amused by how smitten and nervous the younger male was.

Maybe it made him a sadist but he knew that Kaoru would have enjoyed Kyoya's discomfort if the roles were reversed. If Kaoru had been the age he thought that he was then Kyoya would have been uncomfortable too, but right now this was just ammunition to use to tease Kaoru later.

"I need to teach you two a little more about the world later on", Kyoya told the twins. "Especially before someone is stupid enough and give you access to the internet".

"We already know not to trust anyone and to pretend that we are normal human beings", Hikaru rolled his eyes.

"Do you know not to trust someone making themselves out to be a pretty girl that's interested in you, Hikaru? Or something trying to scam you because you don't know about MLMs or other methods of scamming people? You two are the perfect victims to be taken advantage of. Especially the one of you who is sometimes a toddler".

"Okay, so childproof his shit then".

"While I agree that we should have that kind of option for him, I'm not talking about wanting to surveil the both of you. I want you to have free access without me looking over your shoulders. I'm just talking about preparing you like you should do with anyone who isn't used to this kind of thing".

"I… I guess", Hikaru begrudgingly relented.

"I just want to make sure that you two don't get into trouble".

Hikaru made a noncommitted noise and Kyoya sighed.

"I'll be allowed on the internet?" Kaoru finally asked and a horrifying thought hit Kyoya before he could respond.

What if Kaoru would fall for someone online while being at an age where he didn't know that he was with Kyoya? Kyoya didn't have the right to stop him if he did get feelings for someone else, he knew that, but it still felt like he should be able to do something. But what? Tell Kaoru that they were together while still keeping a platonic physical relationship. Could he do that? Kyoya would be able to handle that no problem, but that couldn't be enough for Kaoru, could it? His naive self could try to get more out of it, which would only make things worse. And even if he didn't try it would still be extremely difficult for Kaoru to be in a relationship with someone who withholds affection. Kyoya had to think about what was the right thing to do.

"Kyoya?"

"What? Oh sorry. Yes, eventually. Not now though, there is too much for you two to learn. I want you to be safe, they want you to be safe".

Kaoru made a little noise to confirm that he got what he said with flushed cheeks. Most likely because Kyoya said that he wanted him safe.

"Poor little gay boy", Kyoya thought half amused. "Stop being younger me".

---

The life at the house, apparently named sir. Everett's short time home, was fairly uneventful to a normal person's standard but for the twins it was the funniest place they had been at. Even if they knew that they would eventually be bored there too.

They had spent a lot of time in front of the tv, making art with the superior art supplies, play games they hadn't played before, going outside in the yard even when the weather wasn't the best, and did whatever else they could do. The downside was that they couldn't move around like they wanted to and could never get any privacy. To be fair, they did take away privacy from each other too, especially Kaoru from Hikaru since Kaoru was the one that was the most supervised. Still, they didn't want to be apart, now less than ever.

Kyoya was visiting every day; hanging out, snogging Kaoru when he could get the chance (but nothing further to Kaoru's dismay), answering questions about the world (complementary to the information they were given by the program that only gave them the basics) and just checking up on them. Hikaru supposed that a familiar face was nice and at least he wasn't forced to hear his brother have sex. That's something.

Today Kyoya had been allowed to take the boys out around town and Hikaru was excited enough to forget his disgust with Kyoya for a moment. Kaoru was very thrilled as well but also very nervous and dreadful at the thought of switching; both because of the possible shit show that could follow and because, even if he kept the memories when he turned 18 again (like his embarrassing teen crush) like he had started to do sometimes, he didn't like the fact that he wouldn't be able to experience things as his own age.

Changing the environment had helped him accept his situation more, but it was still not something he was okay with. It was still painful and made things more difficult.

"Be careful out there", Miss Hansen called after the twins as they left the building with Kyoya.

"I, unfortunately, don't have a car right now so you'll learn about commuting today", he told the boys while they were wandering to the closest bus station only a couple of minutes away. "You both have to be close to me the whole time this time around".

"Where are we going exactly?" Hikaru asked.

"A mall that won't be as full at this time in the middle of a workweek. You both need new, more personal clothes. You got some money in the bank from your work plus the monthly allowance that you'll get until you can work".

"What money?" Kaoru chimed in and Hikaru looked equally confused.

"You actually got paid for the things you did. Otherwise, it would count as slavery and that's still illegal even if you two don't have as many rights as others… you didn't know this?"

"No", the twins said in tandem and Kyoya looked worried.

"You thought you were slaves?"

"We got food and such so no", Hikaru disagreed.

"So, you did think you were slaves. That's not the same thing as getting paid for your work. I'll admit that the money did go to your parents at first. It's usually until the boys can legally own their own money but it was a little earlier with you. I think it's weird and horrible that this is news to you".

"Well, what would we need the money for? If we never really leave?"

"All of you leave eventually… ".

"We didn't know what would happen to us when that happened if you remember".

"I suppose but still… ".

"Is that our bus?" Kaoru interrupted and Kyoya confirmed that it was.

There was a little struggle when it came to the tickets because Kyoya wanted to make sure that the twins learned how to do these kinds of things while people behind them were loudly lamenting over them holding up the line for an "excruciatingly long" five minutes. The rudeness perplexed the twins and Hikaru wanted to yell back at them but Kyoya gave him a stern look as a warning.

"I'm not taking you two out in the near future if you can't act your age in public", Kyoya hissed at Hikaru through pressed teeth as they sat down in the middle of the bus.

"I get it, I get it", Hikaru waved dismissively and crossed his arms. "Why is it so warm in here? I almost feel nauseous".

"Then it will get worse when the vehicle is moving", Kyoya, annoyed, responded back.

"Be nice, Hikaru. He is doing something nice and I'm actually excited".

"Thank you, Kaoru", Kyoya said with a soft smile aimed at him.

"Whatever", Hikaru huffed, crossed his arms and stared at the especially rude guy from the line who sat behind them.

Kyoya knew that most of his anger wasn't directed at Kyoya and that he just felt that it was unfair. Still, he did not bother to tell Hikaru that not looking forward would just make him motion sick (he wouldn't have listened anyway).

"How is it going with work?" Kaoru suddenly asked and Kyoya turned his attention back to him.

"I haven't started yet, I'm kind of on a small vacation period as I'm settling in and everything. I will start soon unfortunately so I won't be able to visit as often".

"That's alright", Kaoru mumbled and avoided Kyoya's eyes for a moment before looking up at him again with a smile. "Is it okay now, you and I not hiding like before? Can I like… hold your hand and stuff now?"

He looked hopeful and a little excited like he already knew the answer. Technically yes, they could, they really could. It would take some time to unlearn the constant need of keeping their affection for each other behind closed doors, but they could absolutely act like a normal couple now without fear of being forced apart. However, Kaoru needed to know the downside of being outside of the base now…

"Of course but you have to be aware that this world is less accepting than the more narrow one inside of the base. Legally nothing is wrong with what we are doing. If you weren't you know what then we could even get married, but we aren't going to be accepted socially. At least not everywhere. People are definitely going to stare and some might even treat us badly or start fights", Kyoya explained and Kaoru's smile disappeared from his face. "I'm not telling you this to scare you, I won't let those things prevent me from being with you openly despite not being very much into PDA. I'm used to it but I want you to know what you need to expect".

Kaoru did look a little heartbroken at the information but sneaked his smaller hand into Kyoya's regardless. Kyoya's eyes went down to their hands before wandering up to Kaoru again who now appeared determined and understanding.

"I know. It's horrible that we will be treated that way but honestly, I've been treated worse for less. I'm used to being treated like shit too and if that's not gonna change my genetic makeup then it won't change my sexuality and the way I feel for you too. We don't have to make out in the middle of the street but I don't want to pretend that I'm just your friend when we're out unless it's too dangerous. Okay?"

"Okay", Kyoya responded, voice barely above a whisper, and stunned by the intense look in his boyfriend's eyes.

It almost felt like their roles had switched and that Kaoru was the older, bigger and wiser one. Kyoya didn't know how he felt about that but it did feel nice and safe to have someone else assuring him with so much confidence.

"Just don't take this chance to be overly disgusting in front of me", Hikaru warned as he turned to look at them again, looking a little green in the face from his dumb decisions.

"Don't worry Hikaru. We will find a girlfriend for you someday so you'll be able to be publicly disgusting too", Kaoru teasingly assured Hikaru and the green sheen in his skin turned red in embarrassment.

"G-girlfriend?" He repeated bashfully like it hadn't occurred to him that this was truly a possibility now.

Kyoya guessed he could understand that. Hikaru had probably resigned himself to a life of always being a virgin who would never even kiss a girl. Which isn't a bad thing unless it is against your own wishes.

"Yes, I can try to find age appropriate places for you to mingle when you're ready for it", Kyoya added with a smirk, amused by Hikaru's suffering. "Marriage wouldn't be possible for you either, unfortunately. At least not right now but you can still have something meaningful".

"I… well… I suppose", Hikaru stuttered, looking a little nervous yet glad about the thought.

"Or at least lose your virginity".

"Shut up, Kaoru".

"Oh, I am not going to look forward to teaching you about safe sex".

"Shut up Kyoya!"

"God, looking like a tomato doesn't work at all with your hair color".

"I hate both of you".

"You'll change your mind when I pay for your unhealthy meals later", Kyoya chuckled.

The whole ride took around 20 minutes for the couple and twice as long for the nauseous Hikaru who needed an intensive breathing contest with himself as soon as he was outside again. He did proclaim that he hated the other two once again when he was done despite them not doing anything. Apparently, he was sure that they were laughing on the inside.

The inside of the giant mall was intimidating the twins. Hikaru even looked like he considered grabbing Kyoya's other hand because of how large, new and loud everything was.

"Since none of you have any experience with managing money I'll set a spending limit for every time we are out. If you want something rather expensive then you need to learn how to save up for it… ".

"Thanks, dad", Hikaru responded half-heartedly while being very busy looking around with his brother.

Kyoya squeezed Kaoru's hand to show that he was there for him before they started walking.

Their first stop was at a not too expensive clothing store. All the colors and styles overwhelmed the two boys at first but they quickly started to look around with one last warning to keep to the budget.

"Do you think this one looks good, Kyoya?" Kaoru asked, holding up a t-shirt. "How do I even know my size?"

"It's nice. Stand still and I'll take a peek in your shirt and we'll find out", Kyoya said, gently grabbing the back of Kaoru's collar to try to find the label.

Kaoru thought that he felt someone staring intensely at him and he looked around until his eyes fell upon a little girl whose eyes were glued on his hands. At first, he didn't understand it but it eventually clicked that his visibly scarred skin was the issue. He gave her a small and kind smile that disappeared the second he realized that she wasn't the only one who stared. She was just the only one who was a small and confused child. Her mother was also staring, a couple of whispering teenagers were occasionally glancing and a man with a baby strapped to his chest was outright glaring at him. The man's wife wasn't realizing that he wasn't paying attention to what she was talking about. Everyone except the glaring man averted their gazes when they realized that he could see them but he was still feeling very uncomfortable and uneasy. This shouldn't have bothered him so much, it normally didn't, but people usually had the courtesy to not be so openly impolite about it. He knew that this was something they weren't used to but that still didn't give them the right to give him more than a glance. At least the little girl was a child, the others were grown ass adults and should have known better.

"I can't really find the size", Kyoya announced and let go of Kaoru's shirt. "It could be in the seem on the sides, but you could just try a few shirts out and decide that way. Are you ready to try this one on?"

"No, I don't think I want this one", Kaoru sighed and put the t-shirt back on the rack.

He almost felt stupid that he had wanted to get something that would show off the disgusting mess that was his arms. It wasn't that he was ashamed of it but he wasn't delusional either. His arms weren't something nice to look at, none of his damaged skin was. This wasn't the same thing as if people would stare at him when he was with Kyoya, this was something that could cause genuine fear. A child wouldn't actually become traumatized by two men holding hands, but could they be from seeing all of his self-mutilation? Besides, it could also be a massive hint that could lead people to guess that he was a zero… Maybe he should even ask Kyoya about gloves to be extra sure?

Kyoya must have noticed Kaoru's sadder demeanor and nervous tugging on his sleeves. He grabbed the hand that Kaoru had once engraved the name "Daisy" in and placed a couple of chaste pecks on top of the skin, melting Kaoru's heart and making his mind stop working for a moment. Even after all this time, Kyoya still made him feel like a nervous little virgin around his first crush.

The twins tried on a few pieces of clothing each and did manage to choose some things they liked that weren't too expensive. Kaoru did never go for the gloves but he decided against anything that wouldn't cover his arms and legs, blaming it on the cold weather when Hikaru asked about it, but even he could see that something was off. Kyoya did assure that they would return so buying the entire wardrobe wasn't the plan right now.

"Excuse me", a booming voice sounded off behind the three men as Kyoya was talking the twins through the process of paying with a card as he was doing it.

Kaoru only had to glance at the stranger briefly to realize that it was the man with the baby who had tried to burn him with his piercing eyes previously.

"I'm sorry if I'm taking up your time. I'm just trying to teach the teenagers here how to do adult things", Kyoya explained, sounding unbothered and didn't even spare him a fleeting look.

"Why do his hands look like that?" The man rudely asked and both of the twins were thoroughly baffled by the blunt animosity and disregard.

"That's none of your business", Kyoya responded, a little more used to that kind of behavior.

"He shouldn't be out and about if he has those issues. He should be locked up".

"And you shouldn't harass him. He isn't hurting anyone".

This time Kyoya did turn to look at him with an underlying threat flashing in his dark eyes.

"He is forcing us to look at that!"

"A tiny 18 year old is preventing you from looking away from his hands? You're a fully grown adult with a child, you should know it's impolite to stare".

He wanted this to end before Hikaru decided to speak his mind. The older twin was already fuming at the spot and Kaoru looked to be a mix of angry, offended and embarrassed. That last emotion wasn't one Kyoya ever wanted to see on him when it came to his scars.

"So you're not gonna do anything about this?" The man asked in disbelief. "I guess I shouldn't be surprised".

"Because we're those weird gays? Because I know you were gawking at us before", Kyoya challenged and the man immediately became defensive like he had been accused of not being white during a KKK rally.

"I have no issue with homos!" He bellowed while looking around like he thought that he was going to be seized by the homophobe police. "But you probably bought him from the nearest insane asylum".

"He can't afford him", Hikaru finally snapped but his tone was anything but humorous. "My brother isn't insane but I am so get the fuck off our balls before I'll show you what I mean".

Because that the man could predictably become angrier and ask if he was being threatened, Kaoru grabbed Kyoya's face and started to furiously make out with him, almost clashing teeth. Both the angry redhead and the man looked at them silently, too shocked to form any words or thoughts. The man's mouth had even dropped open and he scuttled away, probably going back to his wife.

Kaoru pulled away from Kyoya and the older male grabbed the bags with the clothes without looking away from his boyfriend. They did quickly leave the line after that while apologizing for wasting their time.

"Do you think he went and complained about those homos he supposedly didn't have anything against or to have a quick wank?" Kaoru jokingly asked when they were outside of the store with a chuckle.

Hikaru looked at him bemusedly.

"I hope you didn't listen to that jerk. You better not start covering up your hands and shit now. I remember that gay little speech you did in the vomit machine, if you don't care about people like him being disgusted with you when you're being disgusting with him then you shouldn't care about this either. It's just skin. You bet I won't cover up my mangled fingers so you know I'm not talking shit here".

"That's right", Kyoya agreed. "People are going to stare but that doesn't mean that you should feel ashamed. I've told you before that you shouldn't care about my opinion and you should care even less about theirs. It's your body and your skin. This is what you look like and there's nothing wrong with that".

"O… okay", Kaoru responded quietly.

Kyoya knew that his words didn't weight as much as Hikaru's because Hikaru was actively not shying away from showing his disfigurement (and people did take a double-take when they saw it) while Kyoya was actively making sure that not even his lovers could spot his own. It was scary but he realized that he couldn't properly be the help Kaoru needed on this if he didn't try to get over his own issues.

They went to a couple more stores without any other disruptions (with the exception for a few stares) before they decided to eat at a fast-food restaurant.

"Remember, this should not be something to eat every day", Kyoya warned as they sat down with the burgers Kyoya had ordered for himself and for the two clueless boys. "You still need to think about your health".

"Afraid I'll become too fat for you?" Kaoru teased as he was trying to figure out the best way to hold his food.

"No... but heart attacks at 30 isn't very attractive", Kyoya joked back. "Don't eat too fast either, I don't know how your systems are going to handle the sudden greasy food".

"Yes, mom", Hikaru said but he did decide to heed his warning, not wanting to risk feeling like death again.

Having eaten cheap and flavorless "healthy" food, the boys almost didn't follow Kyoya's advice, just nearly. The older male almost regretted introducing them to this and not food with better quality, but decided that he was just being overly worried and should trust them more. They both did frequent the gym at the base and had worked longer than Kyoya had so they didn't exactly lack discipline.

Before choosing to go home, Kyoya took them to a small arts and crafts store so they could excitedly look around and ask the workers hundreds of questions. They didn't end up buying anything because the new information overwhelmed them and they didn't know what they wanted yet, but Kyoya promised to take them back again.

When they were on their way to the entrance of the mall, Kaoru stopped and spaced out. Kyoya knew he had been lucky so far that the young redhead hadn't switched before. All of the luck must have vanished because this was definitely toddler Kaoru coming out and he was clearly overwhelmed and scared by the new setting and all the strange people. He looked around while hyperventilating and tears brimming in his eyes. Hikaru, noticing trouble right away, almost threw himself on Kaoru and engulfed him in his arms.

"It's okay, it's okay. We are in a mall. We are not in danger", Hikaru whispered to him.

"We are just on our way home", Kyoya added and Kaoru looked at him like he hadn't realized that he was there. "But do you want some ice cream first? I think I see a stand over there".

That suggestion made something turn and the tears stopped producing. He nodded, delightful and eager. Hikaru looked thrilled too but not to the same extent of course.

After giving them each a cold treat, Kyoya made sure that Kaoru was fine before he quickly went into a store close by to buy some sweets the twins could eat later. He mostly did it so adult Kaoru just didn't have to have the vague memory of eating something sugary.

Hikaru seemed to now be happier about the ice cream than Kaoru, who was just as ecstatic as a small child would be. The guy hadn't eaten something like this in so long.

With the ice cream eaten and the mess around Kaoru's face cleaned up, they went back to the bus station. Hikaru's and Kaoru's intertwined hands did earn some weirded out looks but it wasn't too bad. Luckily Kaoru didn't notice if people stared at his scars this time around (but he seemed to mostly forget they were there).

"God no", Hikaru growled under his breath as his glare followed the arriving vehicle.

"Just try to keep your eyes at the front this time around", Kyoya teased when they sat down. "Especially now when you have eaten like a teenager for the first time in your life".

Hikaru only grumbled in reply but the trip back was generally much less unpleasant to him.

"I'll see you two later", Kyoya said when they were in the hallway of the twins' home. "I hope you had a good time. Perhaps we can do something more exciting one day".

"We have clothes now", Hikaru unhelpfully commented, not wanting to compliment Kyoya in any way.

"Do you really have to leave now?" Kaoru asked, grabbing Kyoya's arm with both hands like he wasn't big enough to properly hold on with just one.

"Yeah, visiting hours are over and you two have things to do".

Kaoru pouted adorably (or it probably looked weird but Kyoya was very biased). He sighed and was about to let go of the older male but decided to stand up on his tip toes and place a peck on Kyoya's cheek first. It wasn't something either of the other two males had expected, but it was innocent enough so Kyoya didn't dwell on it.

"Behave when I'm gone", was the last thing he told them, with a smile on his lips, before leaving.

"Why did you do that for?" Hikaru questioned and Kaoru's cheeks turned red. "He is an adult who isn't family. That's not appropriate".

Yes, he knew they were boyfriends but being too affectionate with adults while he himself wasn't one still shouldn't be normalized.

"I dunno", Kaoru mumbled coyly while looking at his feet. "I just… it felt like I should".

"Not because he made you think that you should, right?"

"No".

Now, Hikaru wasn't a genius but he thought he was a little smart here for making a possible connection. When Kaoru was a child he didn't even kiss his own parents on the cheek, even when they weren't horrible and Kaoru still believed that they loved him, but he conveniently did it to a random doctor who just happened to be a bit nicer than most? A doctor Kaoru dated? Was it plausible that Kaoru's feelings transcended the ages? Would that mean that things had already improved enough for the ages to become less separate? Sure, this could just be Kaoru starting to see Kyoya as a parental figure (be proud Freud) or as a crush, but Kaoru's younger teenage self had also started to have feelings for the doctor. That couldn't be a coincidence, could it?

"I. Am. bored", Kaoru announces.

No longer deep in thoughts, Hikaru noticed that Kaoru had sloppily taken off his shoes and were impatiently waiting for his brother to stop looking at the door.

"M'sorry".

---

Their stay at sir. Everett's short time home became more and more restrictive. Or at least it felt like it. Their days were much more planned than they were used to and the boys didn't believe that they were "far gone" enough to need a schedule every day. They didn't need physical therapy, couldn't be forced to see psychologists if they didn't want to (not that any psychologist the place had knew how to approach someone like Kaoru) and didn't need to be forced to do something to not just sleep all day. Hikaru could accept the classes made to prepare them for the outside world but it started to become rather evident that not many fucks were given by the "teachers". No one actually believed that most of the guys living at the "short time home" would leave. The twins had noticed that they were the youngest and none of the other tenants (patients) seemed to improve. This place started to look more and more like a retirement home. Yes, the brothers were retired but this place sold itself more as a temporary rehab facility than an actual retirement home, but maybe the people working here had actually lost hope long ago. Obviously, some people had been able to become a part of the outside world and there seemed to be an agreement that Hikaru had a chance but still.

At least the staff was friendly still, albeit a little accidentally condescending with some of them being a little uncomfortable around zeros (and the need for baby talking). The tenants were a different story. Hikaru and Kaoru were lucky if they were ignored. Kaoru had tried to chat some people up, usually when he was in a more "naive" state, but everyone seemed either disgusted with him or deeply amused and pleased with what their "tormentor" had been reduced to. This deeply enraged Hikaru since Kaoru never forced any of them to drink his serum and he couldn't have known how it would affect them. It was also always so excruciatingly sad to see how child Kaoru's heart broke when they were mean to him and accused him of things he didn't even know about yet.

The young twin's mental health was clearly deteriorating from the mistreatment, through all ages. As a small kid, he had developed some worrying "quirks", standing in corners, chewing on his clothes and even had times when he peed himself. It wasn't frequent enough to warrant any permanent measure, like forcing him to wear diapers (the thought was there) but even Hikaru could tell that this wasn't a good sign and shouldn't be ignored. Kaoru still showed that he wasn't well at other ages too but it wasn't as apparent and the older he was the better he could handle things. However, Kaoru still felt guilty at his real age so there was never a time he didn't feel like absolute shit.

You would think that the staff would make sure to keep the peace but it was abundantly clear that no matter how much it was explained to them, they never understood how deep this actually ran. It didn't occur to the staff for some reason that most of the people there blamed Kaoru for needing to stay there permanently (or for even being retired in the first place). This was not something that would fix itself by the staff just telling the bullies off or pushing more "get along" workshops and seminars. This wasn't just some petty fight. The only real thing they threatened to do was to take Hikaru to time out unless he stopped promising harm to people who bothered his brother. So you could say that both brothers were getting worse.

The lack of Kyoya didn't help either and you could see it in how tired and downtrodden Kaoru was. The only hint of hope appeared when he thought Kyoya was walking into the room but died down as soon as he realized it wasn't him. The older male had finally landed his job and didn't have much time to come over anymore. He still tried to call everyday through the landline and Kaoru always cradled the phone like it was the most precious and fragile thing he had ever held every time, but Kyoya wasn't seen nearly enough and wasn't allowed to talk for too long over the phone either. A part of Hikaru resented that Kaoru needed Kyoya so much and that he wasn't enough, but a bigger part of him was smart enough to tell himself to shut the fuck up. The worst part was the nights where he could see Kaoru trying to bundle up the blanket so it felt like he was holding someone despite shivering from coldness. Even if Kaoru had slept in the same room as Hikaru most of the time at the base he still used to stay over at Kyoya's a lot. Especially during the time before Kaoru became scattered. It made Hikaru wonder if he ever did want to get a girlfriend because missing someone like this, someone who wasn't even family, looked like it really hurt.

Kaoru was having his daily call with Kyoya, luckily being 18 this time around. Hikaru saw that he laughed and smiled in a way he usually didn't, even if it didn't reach his eyes.

"I can see why you don't like telling Tamaki things. That reaction… ", Kaoru told Kyoya. "Can't imagine the heart attack he'll have when he finally meets us".

"I'm more worried about what crap he'll say out of shock. I know you would like it to be a surprise because you're sadistic but I'll probably have to warn him first… because you know I do plan on you meeting each other, right? I could tell that you were sounding less sure when you joked about it".

"I suppose it's all very new and hard to believe", Kaoru chuckled, heart feeling warm. "I never expected our relationship to even barely resemble a normal one and now you want to introduce me to your best friend. I have a hard time believing that we can have this. I'm giddy of course, but this will take some time to get used to… ".

"I understand, I'll just have to keep reminding you of the life we could never have hoped for until now. I'm mostly worried about how he will put his foot in his mouth".

"I think… I think I might also be a little ashamed over my circumstances. I mean, I'm locked up for being looney".

"Don't talk about yourself like that. I'm not ashamed of you and won't let anyone try to bring you down for this. Tamaki won't care either, he is a kind person. His fiancée too, I think you two will really like her. Speaking of something else, ask Hikaru if he wants to do something special, just him and me, one day because I would like to take you out on a one-on-one date so you can get more of the 'normal' dating experience. I thought he could have his own special day to make up for the lost opportunity, or at least be the one to decide what to do if he still wants you to come. Which he probably would want".

At first, the suggestion of an actual, non-imaginary, date didn't register in Kaoru's mind, but when it did bouts of excitement filled him in a way it hadn't before. He was 18 years old but this was the first time he felt like a normal love struck giddy teenager. It was weird because the couple had been together for a while. The mundane aspect of it was really something that did it for him.

"I'll ask him", Kaoru responded before Kyoya could ask if he had passed out. "I don't think he would mind- I mean actively do something to prevent us from having a d-date".

"We don't have to go on one if you don't want to".

"What?- you better not take back that invite! I was just taken aback, you better take me out", Kaoru quickly corrected the misunderstanding and Kyoya laughed on the other side.

"Good", Kyoya shot back, sounding genuinely relieved with an identifiable underlying enthusiasm and delight. "I'll try to come up with something nice for you, but you need to ask Hikaru first when he is okay with us taking up his outside time".

"I will. I hope he is okay with it soon because boy I need some alone time with you… but what about my switching?" Kaoru suddenly remembered and the fact that he was too messed up to even go on a small date without this kind of hassle filled him with trepidation and just a hint of self-loathing.

"I've kept that in mind. I'm trying to plan a fun time that could work for any age… or at least that I have a plan B. I've decided to not let you know that it's a date unless you're the correct age. You might have to discuss a convincing lie with Hikaru about why he isn't coming with".

"I'll talk to him about that too… but do you really think it's worth all the trouble now when I'm so unpredictable? Don't you want to wait?" Kaoru questioned with his heart in the bottom of his stomach and a sting of pessimism.

"I do think it's worth it", Kyoya responded so softly. "I don't want that to prevent you from living. Don't think too hard about it".

Mrs. Grossman hinted to Kaoru that he needed to hang up now since the time had ran out.

"I need to go now. Talk to you next time?"

"Of course. I love you".

"I love you too".

With that the call was over and Kaoru returned to Hikaru who he hadn't realized stood there all this time.

"So, you plan to go on a date?"

"You shouldn't eavesdrop", Kaoru chastised. "I should try to have phone sex with him next time to teach you a lesson".

"You would be teaching Mrs. Grossman a lesson too".

"I'll talk to you about the date later. I don't want to miss cinnamon bun day".

"Are you sure that you're not a toddler again?" Hikaru teased before turning more concerned. "You sure that you want to go to the social room for just a cinnamon bun? A lot of people will be there then and you know that".

"Look", Kaoru sighed. "It's not gonna get better if I act like I don't have as much right as them to be here. This is my home too wherever they like it or not… I know my presence hurts them but I still live here… ".

"You're right", Hikaru hurried to quip before Kaoru would start to doubt his worth and feel bad for his bullies again. "You all need to learn how to live together. All of us here are the same, we are all discharge".

"Ew, Hikaru".

"I didn't mean- fuck you".

They went to get their well-deserved baked goods. Sure, they had been able to eat unhealthy things now and again for a few weeks now but they were still not used to, and couldn't get enough of, the taste of sugar. Apparently, that last part was normal so it was just something they had to learn how to control. Apparently several tenants there had gotten overweight and or developed type 2 diabetes because they hadn't gotten the help they needed to learn how to eat things in moderation. The education in that aspect had gotten better since before the twins started living there fortunately but it still took a lot from oneself to not eat irresponsibly.

"Hi, boys", Eileen greeted like she was talking to someone much, much younger, but the brothers didn't bother commenting on it (it was normal and she was one of the more pleasant ones).

She was the one who brought the buns, always very keen on baking and apparently her stepchildren felt a little overwhelmed by all the sugar. Hence why she made the decision to bring some to people who aren't as used to being spoiled like that and needed a little kindness.

"Hi. How are you today?" Kaoru asked as she was the only one who seemed to enjoy talking to him (that wasn't Hikaru).

"I'm good, sweetheart. I saved some for you two in case you would be late again".

She handed over two cinnamon buns that looked extra perfect and warm. The smell made their mouths water.

"Thank you, ma'am", Hikaru said with a small bow that made her chuckle (which was the plan).

The boys then sat down on the couch that was mostly empty, as far away from the others as possible. The glares were expected but they never lasted long so no need to make a big deal out of it.

"You think flirting with her is gonna get you more", the guy who sat at the other end of the couch asked.

He had quite a lot of scars on the right side of his face to the point that he couldn't open his eye. Kaoru had wondered what had happened to him since the first time the older guy gracefully entered his peripheral vision with a snarl on his face. Obviously he never asked out of respect and also because he didn't want to accidentally get into an altercation by possibly insulting a violent maniac. The guy had mostly left him alone at least… until now of course.

"I'm just trying to be polite. If I get an extra nice cinnamon bun for it then it's just the icing on the cake", Kaoru chuckled, naturally going into a more playful state of mind because he didn't necessarily sense true hostility yet and wanted to show that he was calm and harmless.

"I suppose", the man growled under his breath with an inhale. "You are sometimes a child now, right?"

"Sometimes I do switch age, yeah. I don't believe I've annoyed you as a child, right?"

Kaoru was still trying to stay amicable and inviting despite the abrupt rudeness. It could just be that the guy lacked as much social skills as Duncan did but where Duncan showed childish curiosity this guy showed something else entirely…

"No, you hav-have- fuck", he was interrupting himself with sudden laughter that he was trying to hold back in favor of finishing his sentence. "You've been scared away enough to stop being a b-bother. Sorry, it's just so damn funny to me. So damn funny".

"What's so fucking 'damn funny?'" Hikaru challenged with an overprotective hand on Kaoru's shoulder. "Spit it out. What's funny?"

"Let's not entertain this", Kaoru told Hikaru tiredly and started to try to stand up.

"The most ch-cherished zero is crying when someone is a little rude and wets himself! That's really fucking hilarious. Is Eileen changing your diaper for you? That's why she is so nice to you? Come on! Don't look at me like that! It's funny, why don't you two see that it's funny!?"

During his rant, Kaoru started to drag Hikaru away. Both twins were red in the face; Kaoru out of embarrassment and Hikaru out of rage.

"He is not in his right mind", Kaoru whispered to Hikaru as the guy continued to ramble.

"But he is hurting you. And most cherished zero? The dude clearly knows who you are, shits' personal".

It seemed that Hikaru had said that too loud because the guy became silent and the anger on his face almost mirrored the one on Hikaru's.

"You don't know who I am, really? You really are a piece of shit, Kaoru".

"Don't talk to him like that", Hikaru snarled. "Leave him alone".

"You should be ashamed that you can't place me since it's your fault that I'm here, your fault that I look like this".

Kaoru stopped, eyes widened while his brows furrowed. He wasn't sure if he should have felt ashamed, furious or scared so he felt everything at once and became stiff like a board; unable to act in any particular way. Luckily for Hikaru he wasn't as confused about his feelings, not in the slightest.

"Oh, you're one of them? That was your fucking fault, asshole", Hikaru spat back and the guy, still too unrecognizable for Hikaru to attach a name to, did not appreciate being blamed.

He grinded his teeth together and flew up from the couch, shaking because he was so enraged.

"You think this is my fault?" He forced out, fake calm.

"Not only yours, the other dumbasses who tasted the metal pipe too. Do you poke a bear and blame it for attacking you too?"

Catching wind of what was going on, Eileen called for help and ran towards where the conflict was. She didn't stay too close since she wasn't supposed to get herself hurt and it wouldn't make the situation better even if it was.

"No fighting allowed", she said sternly. "Please either sit down calmly or retreat to your rooms. This is the first and last warning".

"I'm sorry", Kaoru said as he walked up closer to her with his arms in the air, finally finding his voice. "Me and Hikaru are just gonna leave. It seems that my presence is causing problems again".

"Don't say that", Eileen admonished softly like a mother talking to her self-deprecating child.

Apparently this wasn't good enough because the guy wasn't done yet. He took the momentum to push Hikaru to the ground to remove Kaoru's defense before throwing himself at the younger twin. In his fit of rage and because of how meek and pacifistic Kaoru was acting, he had forgotten for a moment that Kaoru didn't need Hikaru to protect him. Yes, Kaoru wasn't always defending himself but he was too angry and scared to just lie there. The guy had the advantage of being on top of Kaoru who had smashed his head on the ground but Kaoru wasn't as lost in his emotions and started to throw punches at his face and stomach right away. Being weak from years of just sitting around and such, the guy gave up fairly quickly and rolled off him, but not before managing to at least punch Kaoru in the face once, causing a nosebleed.

The "fighters" lied beside each other breathing like their altercation had lasted more than thrice as long as it did. The more stern and buffer staff arrived and held them like they were going to attack each other again.

"You need to get a fucking grip!" Hikaru shouted at the guy, long since stood up and the staff looked back and forth between him and the other two like they were unsure if they were restraining the right guys. "Take some responsibility! Kaoru is not the reason as to why your life sucks!"

"Shut the fuck up! I can tell he messed you up too, but you're his little bitch so you still can't see it!"

"It was my choice as much as it was yours! We messed ourselves up!" Hikaru rebutted with his arms thrown in the air out of exasperation and the guy tried to get himself free.

"Stop it, both of you!" Mrs. Grossman pleaded firmly and Kaoru started to burst out crying and squirming, begging to be let go.

"Let go of him, he is not the same person who started this", another staff member told his colleague who held Kaoru down.

"He didn't start shit!" Hikaru shook his head. "This fucker is just one of the assholes who hates Kaoru for something he didn't do! Why the hell are we even living together if they have started to attack us!?"

"Calm down", the man ordered before turning back to the staffer who was still holding onto the screaming child with a bruising grip. "I said let go of him! He is terrified!"

The man finally complied and Kaoru hurried to crawl away from him and towards Hikaru who immediately held him close. The disfigured man laughed the entire time while talking to himself about how "hilarious" Kaoru was like this again.

"It's true that the twins didn't start it", Eileen vouched. "But Hikaru did still help escalate it".

"Give me a break, I didn't do anything to make him attack Kaoru. Kaoru didn't do anything to be attacked. I was a little rude, yeah but he started harassing Kaoru and assaulted us when we tried to leave. Am I lying, Eileen?" Hikaru explained with a more calm kind of indignation.

"You're not", Eileen confirmed with a sympathetic look at Kaoru who was silently freaking out over his bleeding nose. "But you could have ignored him".

"I can't ignore stuff like that… Isn't that why I'm here?" He deadpanned with an empty chuckle and no one said anything for a few seconds.

"No matter who started or who escalated", mrs. Grossman said while looking from Kaoru to Hikaru to the guy. "Everyone needs to apologize".

Both Hikaru and the guy sighed very loudly with "are you kidding me looks" on their faces.

"You want us to apologize for being harassed and assaulted?" Hikaru asked in disbelief.

Before she could come up with a bad reason for it, that would leave out all the important bits from the fight to make it easier for her to justify why everyone were equally at fault, Kaoru yelled a stubborn "No!" and ran away from there, Hikaru quickly at his heels to not be left behind.

The twins' bedroom door was locked as soon as both were in the room. Hikaru felt relieved that he had followed or otherwise he might not have been let in. Knocking almost immediately ensued.

"I didn't do anything wrong!" Kaoru yelled through the wood. "You said that Hikaru didn't lie! Why should I be sorry!?"

"Kaoru please don't do this. We need to keep things good here and we need to get along", Mrs. Grossman rationalized.

"NO! Everyone here hates me! You hate me! I don't want to say sorry for being me!"

"That's not what we're saying, Kaoru".

"It's kind of what you are though", Hikaru chimed in with his arms crossed despite them not being able to see him. "You know he didn't do anything. He 'provoked' the other guy by just existing, so that's exactly what you're insinuating".

"You're not helping, Hikaru. You're the adult in there, you need to-".

"You're not helping! You're never helping! You haven't protected Kaoru from people treating him like dirt and because of that straight up assault happened! If you want me to apologize then fine, I'm sorry for getting down to scarface's level and not being more adult about it but I'll be damned if I'm gonna let you believe that what the dude did was right by making Kaoru apologize".

Hikaru could hear them silently argue on the other side. He did believe that some of the guys understood his point but the main bitc- instigator was just as stubborn and fake nice.

"Can you two come out so we can talk about this? Kaoru doesn't have to apologize but we need to sort this out".

"I don't feel safe! I don't wanna go out!" Kaoru cried before crawling into his bed and hiding himself under his blanket.

Hikaru could see the covered figure's whole body move every time a specially huge sob shook his body.

"Kaoru!"

"He is too far away from the door now".

"Good. Then you can open up so we can take a look at his nose and talk through this?" Mrs. Grossman suggested hopefully.

"I don't feel safe either", Hikaru responded with a monotone voice to try to hide his sadness. "You've just made it clear to everyone that you won't do anything if they want to attack us".

Hikaru wasn't just saying that to get under their skin, he was genuinely fearful for his and, most of all, his brother's well-being. They were never going to reprimand the "poor" tenants if they did anything at all to the twins. Insults going unpunished was one thing, but the guy wanted to beat the shit out of Kaoru and just had to apologize? Would he have gotten punished if he had managed to really cause injury or was a meek apology the punishment there too? This was supposed to be a good place for them. No wonder most people never left, the guys working there cared more about keeping things quiet than keeping things safe and sane.

"Hikaru-".

"We're not coming out so just give up. Scram".

The older twin went and lied down in his own bed with his eyes glued on the still crying form in the other bed.

The others tried to order, beg, coerce, softly threaten and promise for some time before they did as Hikaru said and left.

The boys stayed like that for hours with Kaoru crying most of the time. Hikaru did worry about Kaoru's nose and if all the tears had made him dehydrated. It was a shame that they didn't have their own bathroom like they did before but the point wasn't that they would stay in their rooms all day. How ironic.

"Hikaru", he heard Kaoru mumble before he removed the blanket from his face. "Why was I crying?"

"You don't remember?"

"No", Kaoru confirmed.

Not seeing a reason to keep the truth from Kaoru (plus the fact that he would probably remember everything as soon as he turned 18 anyway), Hikaru told him the whole story and as much of their conversations as he could remember.

"Fuck… how long have we been here?"

"A couple of hours. Probably missing dinner soon".

"You don't have to miss it if you don't want to".

"I'll take it as you not planning on leaving anytime soon?"

"I don't want to go out there. What happened with Monty was bound to happen eventually so who knows what will happen next".

"Oh, you remember his name? Now when you mention it, of course, it's Monty. It's weird to see him acting on his own though, but then again he couldn't really do that without messing up".

"I remember hurting him just a few weeks ago. We must have been away from him for a long time if you didn't know who he was".

"Yeah, probably".

"I also don't want to leave because… because… ".

"Because?"

"Why are we here, Hikaru?"

"Here? … Do you mean here here or here alive?" Hikaru inquired, remembering how pessimistic Kaoru could be when he was a young teenager.

"Both I suppose?"

"You're wondering because you're a magnet to these fuckers? We have talked about this, bad people are gonna exist even if you don't, even if zeros didn't. Your life isn't worth less because others think so".

"You said his face was scarred, I did that. I can do those things".

"You know what happened. You need to stop blaming yourself".

"I didn't have to do everything I did".

"Yes, you did. It wouldn't have stopped otherwise".

"You don't know that".

"Yes I do. So do you".

"Whatever, man".

Hikaru sighed at the stubbornness.

Someone did knock on the door to try to get them out to eat dinner but none of them would budge. Hikaru didn't feel particularly hungry and neither did Kaoru, especially since they knew that it was expected of them to forgive and forget without any real resolution. The person outside did try to bribe with sweets, expecting Kaoru to still be a child before giving up and leaving.

Eventually, someone came back, this time offering to give them food and leaving it outside the door when it was evident that the twins still wouldn't come out.

It wasn't until much later the people outside were panicking. Probably after finding out that the brothers didn't eat what had been offered. Kaoru didn't understand why since humans could survive longer than this without eating. Maybe this was a very bad sign for them or something?

"I'm so glad that it's possible to open the windows", Hikaru remarked after a while. "Maybe that will make them see why it's good to have personal bathrooms".

Kaoru chuckled, and it was mostly real this time.

None of them caught much sleep that night and the hunger made it feel like their stomachs were eating themselves. Luckily when the sun rose up the violent hunger turned into long and almost debilitating nausea. At least it made them less inclined to desperately seek out food.

"You don't have to be here with me, you know", Kaoru reminded Hikaru, voice hoarse and barely audible.

Hikaru wasn't entirely sure at what age his brother was at now. He knew he had switched at least twice until now and since Kaoru seemed to remember the conflict he assumed he was either a teenager again or 18.

"Just try to make me do anything", Hikaru smirked. "I can walk out whenever I want".

"I'm just saying that you're not betraying me or some shit like that if you do leave".

"I do and if I still wanted to leave then I would", Hikaru rebuked.

They were interrupted by another knock and groaned in unison in response.

"I'm requesting entry", a familiar voice said from the other side and Kaoru flew up from the bed.

"What are you doing here, Kyoya? Are they using you know?" He asked in disbelief as his initial happiness died out.

He was blushing as soon as he realized that his twin had witnessed his moment of excitement but Hikaru had barely acknowledged it since it was normal for him that Kaoru was like that about Kyoya.

"They are but you're my primary concern so I'm here to figure out what happened and see if you two are okay. No one else is with me, I would like to come in by myself. I can talk through the door but it would be an inconvenience".

"What did they tell you?" Hikaru asked, suspicious.

"That you were in a fight but no details. I would rather hear the story from you two, however. I don't believe you would lock yourselves in your room like this if you felt like you had done something wrong… at least not Kaoru".

Hikaru wanted to chew Kyoya out for insinuating that but couldn't… since he wasn't wrong.

"We didn't start anything", Kaoru told him, sounding desperate for Kyoya to believe him.

"I believe you but I need to know what happened. I also heard that you could be hurt, Kaoru, so can I please check?"

"I… y-yeah. I trust you".

Careful to not make his nausea worse, without any complaints from Hikaru, he went to the door. He was a little apprehensive, not wanting to risk Kyoya stabbing him in the back, but ultimately decided that Kyoya had gone too far out of his way to help them to betray them now. The door was unlocked and opened. Kyoya stepped in quickly before locking the door again. Not because he thought someone would try to sneak past him, but because he didn't want to drag out Kaoru's doubt and hurry so he could instead look at the younger male's injuries.

"Your nose", Kyoya stated in shock, not prepared to be met by a bloody smile.

He gently grabbed Kaoru's face to move it around to allow him to take a better look before carefully touching the nose. Kaoru hoped that the blood covered his cheeks because he was sure that he was blushing.

"It doesn't hurt", Kaoru forced out, proud of himself for not sounding as nervous as he felt.

"That's good. I doubt it's broken, he can't have hit you that hard. Any pain anywhere else?"

"No. I am generally more battle-ready than he is, he couldn't get any real hits in".

"That's good, that's good. So what happened? Don't leave anything out".

Hikaru sat up in his bed as Kaoru and Kyoya sat down in Kaoru's. After coming over the realization that he had Kyoya in his bed, Kaoru finally told Kyoya the entire story, starting from the end of the phone call up to the last time someone tried to make contact with them. Kyoya had a constant look of astonishment on his face as Kaoru hadn't even told him that the ex Boys had given him trouble before. Hikaru helped explain where Kaoru's memory was weak, like what had happened when Kaoru was a toddler since Kaoru wasn't currently an adult and didn't have those memories.

"I don't understand why you kept the fact that you have been given a hard time from me", was the first thing Kyoya said after the twins were done talking. "And I disagree with the others that you should apologize. I'm glad younger you stood up for yourself".

"Me too and I'm sorry. I didn't want to worry you since you have your job and us to stress over and I didn't want to make things harder. This place is our home so we have to get used to it anyway".

"But it's wrong. It never hit me that you would be forced to live with people who want to hurt you. I thought they planned this better", Kyoya said the last part mostly to himself, looking angry because he thought that he should have known.

"We just have to be more careful", Kaoru suggested to try to make Kyoya feel better despite the disapproving look he received from Hikaru as a result.

"You need a safer environment", Kyoya corrected firmly. "You two won't stay here for the rest of your lives, not even for a couple of years. I'll make sure that you can come and live with me soon. Is that okay?"

Kyoya stared so intensely into Kaoru's eyes that Kaoru's heart was pounding and he was about to promise the man everything he asked.

"Well, I suppose we won't get attacked in your home", Hikaru relented begrudgingly, interrupting their stare-off and saving Kaoru's heart from bruising his ribcage. "Will you be able to have us though? Will you be able to properly take care of Kaoru? Won't you be busy as a doctor?"

"Don't worry about that. I will try to arrange with the guys about giving Kaoru a personal caretaker that can cater to him at home. Or I'll hire one myself if I need to".

"With all of your student loan debts?" Hikaru incredulously asked. "I know you're a doctor but-".

"I don't have any debts and I make good money. I also have savings. Eventually you can help to contribute too, at least with a part time job".

"Are you sure this is realistic?"

"Staying with people who want Kaoru dead and with people who refuse to see that isn't realistic. I've thought a lot about what will happen when you two move in".

"You have?" Kaoru asked, enthusiastic.

"You have?" Hikaru repeated, suspicious.

"I know you will be better off in a more normal setting. And it seems that I'm right. How badly has this affected you, Kaoru?"

"He is going back in development as a kid", Hikaru quickly answered before Kaoru could come up with a nicer version of reality.

Kaoru was blushing and looking at Hikaru, horrified.

"Hikaru-", Kaoru warned but Hikaru still proceeded to tell Kyoya exactly how much the hostility damaged the younger twin.

Kyoya looked mortified and furious.

"I really need to have a stern talk with the staff about their negligence. It doesn't matter if they take me seriously or not, you are not staying here for much longer. As soon as I can get an apartment big enough for all three you're leaving. I'm sorry that I even let you stay here in the first place".

"Kyoya", Kaoru said quietly.

"You can't expect to always be a savior", Hikaru snidely remarked. "You act like you can have control over everything. It's fine if you want to help but we are not your responsibility. Don't stress yourself too much over getting us out. We are adults despite the circumstances, we don't need to be babied".

"I'm not saying that you two are completely helpless but you are put in a situation where you don't have much power or autonomy".

"You still don't have to work yourself to death to help us. Yes, moving in with you might be the better option but you have a difficult job and a lot to think about. Kaoru wouldn't appreciate it if you ran yourself ragged".

"Are you sure Kaoru is the only one who thinks that?... ".

"Yes".

"I would love to live with you", Kaoru chimed in, making Kyoya look at him again. "But he is right. Make sure that you are okay first. I don't want you to have any consequences from working yourself up over us. Please take the time you need and don't take up more shifts or loans just for our sake. Please?"

Kyoya looked into his eyes for a second before sighing. His fingers twitched in a sense that suggested that he was about to reach out and touch Kaoru but stopped the moment he remembered that Kaoru most likely wasn't at an appropriate age. The action just made Kaoru confused.

"I know you're right, both of you, but I still feel the need to take care of you and I can't just continue with the same slow pace when I know how badly you're treated here".

"You are already quite helpful", Kaoru assured. "You call me often and take us out to the mall and stuff when you can. We can't possibly ask more of you and you can't either… should you even be here right one? They didn't make you miss work for our sake, did they?" Kaoru finally realized, alarmed.

"It's a lot earlier than you think, my shift doesn't start yet", Kyoya tried to sooth but Kaoru was still concerned.

"So, what you're telling me is that you should be asleep right now?"

"I'm not sleeping much anyway".

"You don't?" Kaoru repeated, worried.

Kyoya looked away from him and mumbled something about not being able to sleep well when he was alone. Kaoru felt immensely sympathetic while Hikaru rolled his eyes with a gagging motion. Kaoru thought that was rather distasteful.

"You can stay over until you have to go", Kaoru added, sounding hopeful.

Kyoya looked like he wanted to take him up on his offer but knew that it wasn't right.

"No, I have to go home and prepare for work", he sighed before pulling out two protein bars from his pockets. "I almost forgot these. Apologies, I couldn't get something else on such short notice".

Kaoru was a little disappointed that he wouldn't stay but took the bars appreciatively before handing one of them to Hikaru who tore the packaging up like an animal.

"Thanks".

"Promise me that you'll eat later. You can make it as clear as you want that you won't forgive them. Hell, I would strongly approve of that since they can't punish you in a serious way apparently, but please take care of yourselves. Don't let me 'baby you'".

"Sure, sure", Hikaru said… or at least that's what the other two thought that he said because he had his mouth full with the protein bar.

"Good… they will notify me if you don't, so don't even bother trying to not keep that promise", Kyoya half jokingly warned before standing up. "I need to leave now but I'll call you later?"

"Yes. Thank you… for everything".

Kyoya smiled longingly at him and gave Hikaru a chaste nod before leaving. Hikaru scurried over to lock the door as soon as he was out.

"They sure will be disappointed that he didn't convince us to apologize for nothing", Hikaru chuckled as he returned to his bed.

Kaoru could tell that he was still hungry and tried so he offered half of his bar but Hikaru shook his head vehemently and waved his offering away.

"They misunderstand our relationship with him… it's not like he is our father-like figure", Kaoru agreed.

"What do you think our relationship with him is?" Hikaru couldn't help but ask and Kaoru looked deep in thoughts.

"I don't know… maybe a friendship or one of guilt? I don't have many of my memories and I know you aren't telling me everything so my guess is as good as it can be".

"We can't tell you everything. It's not because we don't trust you but because we have to be smart about what we expose you to. If it's any consolation you know a lot more now than you do when you're younger".

"I'm pretty adult for my age, aren't I?" Kaoru argued, offended over the perceived patronizing. "How big of a difference is there between me now and me at your age?"

"When you got older you realized that you weren't as mature as you thought you were when you were younger. I did about myself too. I know nothing I say will be taken as anything other than me talking down to you but it is what it is. I believe Kyoya would say that I have a lot more growing up to do as well before I'm mature for things he is mature for and I would think that was condescending, but he is older and proven to be able to handle a lot more… but then again he doesn't have the same trauma".

"Speaking of… why exactly do you need to be here? I know it's not because you want to keep me company because they talk about your improvement too. Did something happen?"

"... It doesn't matter. I'm here for my anger issues, it's not as serious as what happened to you".

"I barely know what happened to me, why can't you tell me what happened to us?" Kaoru asked with brows furrowed and voice thick with all the annoyance and resentment about the situation.

"You do know what's going on with us".

"As 18 but not the age I'm now. It's like you don't think that I have to know just because I'm already aware at one of many ages I switch to".

"It's not that many ages".

"That's not the point! Why don't you trust me to be able to handle all this shit now? You didn't treat me with kid gloves when you were this age".

"I haven't been that age for a while at least. I'm more grown up and realize that you should be able to have some kind of peace if you can get away with it".

"And that means that I don't have the right to know about you anymore? Are we no longer best friends because I'm too young for your convenience now?"

"No, that's not it… I just… I just don't know what's the right thing to do anymore. I don't want you to… I don't-".

"You don't want me to what?" Kaoru stubbornly pressed.

"I don't want you to be as damaged as you are gonna be", Hikaru admitted, defeated.

"What do you mean?" Kaoru asked, less angry this time around because of the confusion caused by Hikaru's words.

"You're not doing very well when you're older and I don't want to bring you anguish earlier than needed if I can help it. And yes, that includes not telling you why I'm here. I don't know if you're too immature to know about or not but it doesn't matter; you don't have to know yet".

Kaoru huffed angrily before not so gently lying down and turning to look away from his brother who sighed and massaged his temples. Hikaru didn't believe that he was doing something wrong by not giving Kaoru what he had wanted, but he did start to wonder if he did have the right to keep quiet. Did Kaoru have the right to know that his serum was the cause for Hikaru's issues? Did he deserve to know that both Jiro and Rai had died? Wouldn't those things just give Kaoru all this unjustifiable guilt prematurely? Did he deserve to know all the pain and suffering he had to go through in order to become a blockade and how it eventually caused his mind to break like this? Did he deserve to know that it was partially his choices that made him like this? Hikaru decided that he didn't care if Kaoru had a choice on the matter or not; Hikaru wasn't going to tell him shit. At least not now. Having Kaoru being pissed at him was better than the alternative.

---

Hikaru and Kaoru were sitting and playing cards in their room. The older twin was lucky that he only managed to cross one of the ages; it made it more bearable when teen Kaoru refused to properly talk to him. Currently, Kaoru was 17 and nowhere as nervous as he would have been if he knew that Kyoya was currently on his way to take him out on his very first proper date (at least not visibly). Or maybe he was a little nervous after all since he hadn't eaten much that day.

Because of Kaoru's condition, it had taken a lot of planning from all ends. Kyoya had to make plans (that he wanted to keep as a surprise) that could either work for or be changed to cater to any age while the twins had to come up with convenient excuses for all Kaoru's ages as to why Kyoya was taking out only Kaoru and not Hikaru. The general excuse was that Hikaru didn't feel up to going out (either because of sickness or laziness) but other things they came up with was that Kyoya decided it would be good if the twins had their own days out, that what Kyoya had planned wouldn't be fun for Hikaru because he was a lot older, that Kyoya knew that the twins were fighting and wanted to give both some alone time to cool down etc. They were thorough, you couldn't deny that. Hikaru was still a little nervous for Kaoru since he feared how a date could affect Kaoru if he was too young. In other words, if Kyoya would accidentally be romantic with Kaoru while he was underaged without realizing it. Kaoru had told his twin that he trusted Kyoya and Hikaru couldn't do much about anything.

Recently he was very confused about his stance on Kyoya; sometimes he allowed himself to believe that Kyoya wasn't the devil he had painted him as and sometimes he believed that Kyoya was just taking advantage of them and their situation. Yes, even despite Kyoya being Hikaru's suicide watch not long ago. It could have something to do with the fact that Hikaru had promised to do Kyoya a favor if he helped them and he never received confirmation that no favor was needed.

"We couldn't have stolen a funnier game?" Kaoru lamented after losing again.

"It's harder to sneak past them with something bigger like a tabletop game".

"That's true", Kaoru groaned. "Well, we can't give in and hang out in the social room. Not with Monty and the others there".

"Even Ai doesn't even seem to acknowledge that the resolution doesn't lie in forgiveness… ".

"Yeah, but I don't think she even understands what's going on. She wouldn't be the first person who doesn't know exactly what happened".

"True, true".

"Speaking of not knowing… ", Kaoru suddenly said but immediately looked like he regretted his words.

Unfortunately for him, Hikaru would not let that go.

"Go on", he encouraged. "If there is anything on your mind… ".

"I… there are some things that confuse me… I'm here because of medical malpractice, right?" Kaoru asked, a little desperate for Hikaru to say yes but the older twin furrowed his brows.

"Medical malpractice? What do you mean?" Hikaru inquired, hoping Kaoru was just explaining it really badly and that no one had been an asshole and lied about the reason… or maybe Kaoru had just drawn his own conclusions, which would be partly Hikaru's fault.

"They gave me something experimental that messed me up, right?"

"Oh, you meant the activator?" Hikaru asked and Kaoru sighed in relief. "I'm not sure if it counts as medical malpractice but I'm honestly not sure what the definition of that word is. But if it's the activator you're talking about then you're talking about a part of the issue".

Kaoru's smile dropped and his eyes narrowed in confusion.

"Part of the problem?"

"Yeah, it was a combination of things, wasn't it now? The activator was the start but-".

"A combination?"

"Yes- Kaoru… What exactly do you believe happened? What did they tell you?"

"They didn't tell- none of you have actually told me about it because you were so focused on trying to cure it. Like you wouldn't actually need to tell me. I don't blame you, I guess it just easily slipped through the cracks".

"I'm sorry about that. There was no need for me to keep that secret to you since you're basically the same age as you were when shit went down".

"It's okay… no one told me… but I have memories about it but now I don't know if I can trust them anymore… it's like… when you consoled me about the whole situation with Monty I thought you were just being supportive in a biased way but maybe I can't actually… ".

Kaoru stopped himself from continuing. He was looking down at the ground with a tight-lipped frown and a kind of sadness in his eyes that both reflected worry and shame. For what reason, Hikaru couldn't tell.

"Can't actually what?"

There was a knock on the door and Kaoru put all of his attention to it as he called for Kyoya to come in. The sight of the older male made Kaoru almost completely forget his and Hikaru's discussion. He looked very handsome with his styled hair, tight black pants and the white button-up peeking out from under his black sweatshirt. It reminded Kaoru once again what a travesty it was that he hadn't been able to see Kyoya without clothes in so long, while simultaneously making Kaoru a little insecure about how underdressed he was with his light blue, almost white, short-sleeved button-up shirt and dark blue jeans. At least he didn't wear one of his many pairs of jeans with holes at the knees even if he thought those were very cool (despite the judgment he had received for them). He had also tucked his shirt in his pants because he liked how it enhanced his waist. The appreciative look in Kyoya's eyes as he took his outfit in let Kaoru know that he agreed.

"Are you ready to leave? I'm not interrupting something am I?"

"No, please save me from losing another round of this game", Kaoru jokingly begged as he bent down to pick up his own red sweatshirt from the ground.

Hikaru mouthed "17" to Kyoya who nodded appreciatively to him for the head's up. He was a little dissatisfied that Kaoru wasn't 18 but it was much better than he could have hoped for. Besides, it could still be a date but more of a start of their relationship instead of a milestone like it originally had been. Kyoya felt like they had known each other long enough for Kaoru to be comfortable enough around him to not be so insecure about his zero status. Maybe he could still be a little romantic with him now.

"I'll take care of him", Kyoya told Hikaru when he and Kaoru were on their way out of the room.

"You better", Hikaru huffed but his eyes betrayed him. "Have fun, Kaoru".

"Oh, I will", Kaoru promised him, leaving him a little confused.

While the couple was waiting for the bus, Kyoya handed Kaoru some of Kaoru's own money like he had started to do some time ago to let him buy something if he wanted to. Kaoru had a little plan of his own so this was perfect.

"So, where are we going? It's not a public warm place, right? Or a fancy restaurant? I really didn't choose an outfit for that… ".

Kaoru had noticed that Kyoya had been carrying a large bag since they put their shoes on in the hallway, but it hadn't given him any clues about what would happen.

"No, don't sweat. I've made sure to not make you uncomfortable. This includes not taking you to a fancy restaurant since you really wouldn't appreciate the environment nor how much I would pay for your meal".

"I could pay for myself?"

"No, I don't think you would step inside of the place if you knew how much of yours and Hikaru's money would be wasted on one meal".

"You're probably right… is there a pharmacy I can visit? Don't look so worried, Hikaru told me he was feeling a little sick and we still won't talk to the asshats who think peace on earth will only be achieved through hugs and kisses".

"Are you allowed to bring medicine back?"

"I don't know but if we aren't doing anything bad with them then they won't find out. We haven't given them reasons to look through our trash".

"It could risk you losing outside privileges if they believe you to be abusing substances. Which is exactly what they will think if they find hidden medication".

"Perhaps but I'll be careful. Maybe I can throw away the box and just keep those little foil things? I really want to help him, you know".

"I… alright", Kyoya finally relented. "But I have to look through whatever pills you want to buy and give my approval".

"Sounds fair".

The bus ride didn't take too long, but it might just have felt that way since Kaoru was getting more used to this. His nerves made it a little cumbersome but he was determined to not give up on what he wanted to do.

When they were at the pharmacy Kaoru realized that he needed to come up with an excuse for him to be on his own in the store for a bit. Or else he had just gone there for nothing… or maybe not for nothing.

"You're always so fascinated with the stores", Kyoya teased fondly as he looked at the relevant pills while Kaoru was just looking around in awe. "And it fascinates me how someone can be so amazed by a pharmacy".

"All of the thousands of things you can buy interests me", Kaoru responded unapologetically before finally joining Kyoya to look for what they had come there for.

"Have someone ever told you you're adorable when you're excited?" Kyoya asked and Kaoru smirked at him, trying to look confident but the blush painting his cheeks said otherwise.

"No, but please continue complimenting me", he winked and picked up a random package.

"I will, don't worry, but now I need to know exactly in what way Hikaru is feeling I'll so I know what you should buy. Is he nauseous? Headache? Stomach ache?"

"Uh, I think it was a headache?"

"Okay, then I would recommend these" Kyoya said, handing Kaoru another package while taking the old one, medication for a sore throat, from his hands and putting it back.

"Sweet… hey can you wait outside while I purchase these? I want to try completely by myself this time around. You know, to see if I have grasped this thing yet".

Kyoya smiled proudly at him and caressed his cheek before leaving the store.

He didn't have to wait for long until Kaoru exited the store with a content smile on his lips and his hands buried in the pockets of his sweatshirt (that Kaoru liked to refer to as a kangaroo pouch), presumably having his item in one of his fists.

"I suppose it went well", Kyoya commented and decided to not point out that Kaoru didn't give him the receipt this time around (he already knew what he had bought after all).

"Yes. I'm getting a hang of the currency. Shall we go? I know you wanted to do something more fun than prancing around a pharmacy".

"I don't know about that. Maybe I need to only take you to different kinds of stores next time around".

"Maybe you should", Kaoru teased. "But really, show me what you have planned".

"Of course".

Kyoya linked his arm around Kaoru's and they went on their way.

Kaoru noticed that they were wandering into a nice little park. He didn't see a children's playground, which must have been why barely anyone was there. Well, that and the fact that it was the middle of a workweek.

It was a pleasant place; nice well-kept grass, several huge trees and a few ponds with water plants and bugs. The smell was surprising in a good way. It always was. When his senses picked up everything from nature, even how it sounded and how the wind kissed his skin, he could never get used to it all; always feeling like he was experiencing everything for the first time and he would cherish this for as long as he could before he finally got used to it.

"There is a more secluded spot behind those bushes over there. Don't worry, it's still pretty".

"How do you know? You haven't lived here longer than I have".

"Because I was looking for it. It's a little warmer outside now and will be even warmer later so I thought it would be nice for us to have a picnic".

"How did I make Kyoya Ootori decide to sit and eat on the ground?" Kaoru joked but Kyoya could see that he was genuinely thrilled.

"Maybe I'm just a hopeless romantic on the inside or perhaps you have a lot of power over me".

"I think it's both", Kaoru replied with a grin and the way he was acting like the Kaoru Kyoya remembered made him want to trap the smaller male between himself and the nearest tree so he could kiss him senseless.

They unhooked their arms as soon as they noticed people glaring daggers at them since it made 17-year-old Kaoru very uncomfortable.

"I should have warned you about that", Kyoya whispered to him. "Many don't like homosexual people".

"I'm two for two then", Kaoru responded, determined to not let it affect his mood. "As both gay and a zero".

"At least both of us are weird out here so you're less alone".

"That's true… it's weird, I never imagined us being on the same level like that".

"I hope you never thought I was above you in any way… ".

"Originally perhaps but now I only know that you're above me in the eyes of society".

"Well if it feels better, in the eyes of the people around us, you are just as below them as me… or I might be even lower, that guy over there wears merch from a particularly racist comedian and I'm very well aware that I look more foreign than you".

"It's the red hair", Kaoru agreed and they chuckled together, even if it was even weirder for him to imagine Kyoya being seen as less than him in any way; it was simply incomprehensible.

After struggling through the bushes Kyoya had mentioned previously, they arrived at a flat grass-covered ground in front of yet another, smaller, pond. One large tree was providing a nice shade to sit under if the sun got too hot.

"Nice", Kaoru said approvingly as Kyoya started to unpack his bag. "And you're sure that no one will come here?"

"I'm sure. Maybe if there were small adventurous children here they might come but we're fine. You don't need to keep the sweatshirt on if you're too warm. Only I'm here and you know I don't care".

"No, you appreciate my body the way it is, don't you", Kaoru shot back, wiggling his eyebrows and started to prepare the blanket since his response had left Kyoya stunned and uncertain.

17-year-old Kaoru just wasn't that confident around Kyoya, at least not before Kyoya was told that Kaoru was a zero, so this banter was a lot to take in.

As soon as the dark red blanket was laid out, Kaoru looked around to make sure that it really was as secluded as Kyoya had told him before pulling off his sweater, carefully as to not spill the content of his pockets, and discarded it on the ground next to him as he sat down. Kyoya settled down next to him and was about to pull out the rest of the stuff from his bag when he froze up because of a hand on his thigh. He turned to look at Kaoru who had an inviting smirk on his face.

"I know what we are doing here. Do I only deserve to know this is a date when I'm older?" Kaoru asked, fake offended with a pout on his face.

"N-no I just didn't consider-".

"You haven't been with someone else have you?"

"You know I haven't", Kyoya responded, finally finding his voice. "I won't have anyone but you".

"You've missed me, right? You can have me now. I've missed you too", he whispered the last part and started to teasingly massage Kyoya's thigh, going higher and higher but never as high as Kyoya wanted.

It took all of Kyoya's willpower to not pounce on him (yet).

"You have no idea how much I want to do that but-".

"But what? You don't understand. I got myself all nice and clean for you, I was careful with what I ate, I have the items-".

"I see that you're prepared but what if you switch in the middle of it?" Kyoya asked and Kaoru leaned closer and finally placed his hand on top of Kyoya's semi-hard member; already knowing that he had won.

"Then you better fuck me fast then, right? I haven't been this age for that long so no need to rush that much".

Kyoya grabbed Kaoru's shoulder and almost smashed their lips together. He groaned against Kaoru's mouth as the younger male slipped his hand inside of his pants to be able to stroke him easier. Kyoya pulled him to the ground so his hand slipped out and hovered over him as he started to unbuckle the redhead's belt, impatiently.

After pulling down Kaoru's pants, with Kaoru's help, Kyoya started to unbuckle and pull down his own while Kaoru reaches for his discarded sweatshirt and pulled out a travel-sized bottle of lube and a package of condoms.

"I take it that you didn't actually buy the pills?" Kyoya asked breathlessly as he was still recovering from their make-out session.

"I'm amazed that you didn't see the horrified expression that the cashier girl had when she saw me walk up to a guy and not some girl. She was very helpful though".

"Are you sure that she was horrified and that she isn't hiding in the bushes right now?"

"Yeah-", he was cut off by a small whimper when Kyoya let his hand explore under his shirt and rub one of his nipples.

He made a louder sound when Kyoya pinched it and started to kiss and nip at the skin on his neck while the other hand started to tease his member. Kyoya really thought that Kaoru's pale skin around his throat had gone unmarked for far too long but for the sake of the younger ages he had to wait a little longer.

"You thought you could be the one in control this time around?" Kyoya murmured in his ear while flickering the nub between his fingers and pulling down his underwear, making Kaoru let out another one of his little whimpering sounds. "You have no idea how badly I've wanted to touch you like this again, make you moan and plead for me. Have you touched yourself while thinking of me or did you save yourself for my hands only?"

"M-mostly the second one", Kaoru stuttered and grabbed onto Kyoya's shoulders to ground himself as the combined "assault" on his chest, lower region and neck became a little overwhelming for someone who hadn't done this in a while.

"Mostly? What did you do when you touched yourself? Give me some details, Kaoru".

"Ngh!"

"Did you stroke yourself like this?"

"Y-yes but I-I also used my f-fingers", Kaoru forced out between desperate little moans with cheeks turning red from the embarrassing revelation and because of the hungry look in Kyoya's eyes.

"That desperate? Did you imagine having me there? Opening you up slowly as you lie there pliant and wanting, needing something bigger?"

"N-not as good. You k-know my body better".

"Oh, I know how to please you better than you do?" Kyoya asked, his smirk bleeding into his words. "Do you miss my fingers? You want me to make you feel good, Kaoru?"

"P-please!"

Kyoya removed himself from Kaoru and reached for the bottle of lube. Kaoru pulled his underwear over his feet and lazily threw them to the side before placing his feet on the ground and spreading his legs, exposing himself eagerly.

"Seeing you like this", Kyoya groaned as he opened the cap on the lube and coated his fingers before teasing Kaoru's entrance and pushed in right as Kaoru was going to beg again. "Just as tight as I remember, almost like you're trying to pull me in. By the way you're taking it, did you prepare yourself for me a little before we left? You must really have been eager for me to take you".

"Yesss so please hurry up before I get desperate and do it myself- ah!"

Kyoya knew exactly how to angle and how hard to push in his finger to make Kaoru's face flush and contort. It still wasn't enough.

After pulling his finger in and out, he quickly added a second one and then followed by a third. He focused on stretching Kaoru enough for the next step but also making him feel good.

"Doing it yourself? You said it yourself, no one knows your body like I do".

"Kyoya!" Kaoru gasped as Kyoya was particularly rough against that spot inside of him that could probably make him cum untouched, given more time.

He hadn't felt small and helpless, completely in Kyoya's sadistic hands, in so long and oh how he had missed it. The humiliating part of it was something he was still unsure of but mostly because he was unsure of why he loved it so much.

It was only now he noticed that Kyoya had been touching himself this entire time, not being able to hold back due to what Kyoya had laid out before him plus wanting to make sure that he was hard enough for when it was time. Seeing Kyoya pleasure himself to him really made him feel so much more desirable and aroused.

"Maybe I should make you finger yourself for me until you plead for me to take over", Kyoya evilly suggested and Kaoru shook his head with wide eyes.

"N-no! I need you. Please! I've w-waited too long! I need you now".

"Then I'm not going to keep you waiting for long".

Kyoya kissed Kaoru's thigh before inserting the fourth finger. Kaoru squirmed but he wasn't in pain.

"You always look so amazing like this; legs spread and with something in you, like this is how you should be. Do you feel it too?"

"Y-yes".

"Do you feel ready for me now? Want me in you?"

"I n-need you now!" Kaoru squeaked. "Right f-fucking now!"

Kyoya would have given him another cocky grin but he was desperate too. Instead, he pulled out his fingers from the quivering boy and ripped open the package of condoms and pulled out a little plastic square that he also tore up. He rolled the condom over his freed member. Then he squirted some more lube into his hand to coat himself a bit more to make extra sure that it wouldn't be too much for Kaoru, who hadn't had much more than a finger or two inside of himself in recent months. It was too bad that Kaoru didn't have a phone or Kyoya would really have liked to have some videos of that.

He positioned himself at the entrance and didn't even hesitate for a second before pushing in fully, both gasping as Kaoru was stretched out over Kyoya's cock. Even if some of the sensations were lost due to the rubber between them, it still felt right and amazing. Kaoru was almost clawing at Kyoya as he was trying to grab him again while almost sobbing. Not because it hurt; Kyoya was almost shedding tears himself. They felt close to each other in a way they hadn't for long. Not just because of how they were intimate, but that they were intimate at all. This was the first time in months Kaoru was happy and comfortable enough to let Kyoya close. It was a kind of happiness Kyoya hadn't dreamed of hoping for anytime soon.

"M-move! I-I- ".

Kyoya grabbed Kaoru's pale and scarred legs and folded them against the smaller male. He pulled out until only the head was in before he slammed into him again. Kaoru made a sound that sounded somewhere in between a sob and a moan, but he was not asking for Kyoya to be more gentle and he sure as hell wasn't going to be in that case.

He bit his bottom lip as he dug his fingers into Kaoru's thighs while he drove into the smaller male over and over again, hard. How tight Kaoru was around him, the way his body shook every time Kyoya fucked into him as he desperately tried to move with him but couldn't because of the position, the whines and incoherent words spilling out from his open mouth… Kyoya was taking it all in, drinking it eagerly.

"K-K", Kaoru stuttered before burying his face in Kyoya's neck.

Kyoya almost stopped for a second at the unfamiliar action but the way Kaoru started to suck on the skin made him more determined to make the younger male feel him for the rest of the day. But the restricted movements brought upon by Kaoru's mouth at the crook of his neck made him push in and out slower, but just as hard. It made it easier to properly take in every moment, feeling how the muscles around his member squeezed him and the vibrations from Kaoru's continued moaning against his neck.

When Kaoru was satisfied with his work, Kyoya pushed him down to the ground again and picked up the previous pace. Kaoru's legs hugged him around the waist and he was almost screaming every time Kyoya harshly hit the right spot inside of him.

"C-close!" Was the first word Kaoru managed to form as he let one hand slip down to finally touch his painfully hard and dripping cock.

Kyoya slowed down. His hand joined Kaoru's and helped angle him down as his face scrunched up and he finally came. The way his lips were formed, it looked like he was letting out a loud drawn-out moan, but it was like his voice was trapped in there.

Only a few more thrusts and Kyoya followed suit, closing his eyes and stopping his erratic movements. It wasn't until he had caught his breath that he noticed that he and Kaoru were holding hands.

"God I've missed that", Kaoru said while laughing. "Thanks for not letting me make a fool out of myself when I tried to act all hot and shit".

"I couldn't have denied you even if I wanted you to make a fool out of yourself".

"Even when I showed you the condoms? I know how much you dislike them", Kaoru teased and whimpered a little as Kyoya carefully pulled out and disposed of the condom he had been wearing in a bag he had brought to use for garbage.

He had to move carefully not to accidentally touch the mess Kaoru had made.

"I assume it was to make it less messy, right? And you know that we can use them now if you want to? It's not going to turn me off sex with you".

"Nah I think I prefer without too, but when it comes to situations like this we should probably keep some around… I don't exactly want to walk around with your swimmers inside of me until I find the nearest toilet", Kaoru responded and caught the napkins Kyoya threw to him so he could clean up the mess of lube between his legs.

"With me, that's fine because you know I'm clean but it's something you probably should consider if you ever decide to leave me for someone younger", Kyoya tried to joke as nonchalantly as possible, despite that being a much more likely scenario now.

When Kaoru had wiped himself clean he looked at Kyoya silently for a few seconds as the older male started to put on his own underwear and pants.

"You know my feelings aren't gonna just change like that, right?" Kaoru almost whispered as he sat up and crawled over to Kyoya.

He wrapped his arms around Kyoya from behind and rested his head on his shoulder. Kyoya stopped moving and put his hand over one of Kaoru's.

"You are still very young", Kyoya pointed out and Kaoru nuzzled into the crook of his neck.

"But I love you now. Let's not worry about what can happen in the future. For all we know, you might be the one to leave for someone else".

Normally a proclamation of love was heartwarming but also not anything new. However, Kyoya just remembered that Kaoru still thought he was 17. It had been very easy to forget since Kaoru had approached Kyoya in ways a more confident 18-year-old Kaoru would; being more openly flirty, touching Kyoya in ways Kyoya didn't let him touch him before (hands on his shoulders etc.) and now the 'I love you'. Which hadn't been an easy thing for Kaoru to say at all since he had all this anxiety and crisis about if he even could love Kyoya or not. There was a possibility that Kaoru could have switched… but where? Even if 18-year-old Kaoru had all the new memories created by his younger ages, he was still a little confused when he switched back and it was always visible when the switch happened… Could it be that the gap between 17 and 18 was closing? Those were very similar time periods since it was just one year in between (actually less than that since he still knew Kyoya at the 17 age) so it was feasible. Maybe the gap was even slowly closing between more ages? Maybe teen Kaoru's cute little crush on him wasn't just because Kyoya was the cutest and nicest guy around? The kiss on the cheek might have meant more than he realized?

"You're thinking too hard when I'm trying to cuddle you", Kaoru complained and Kyoya chuckled and lied down so suddenly that Kaoru yelped as he went down with him.

They moved and shuffled for some time until they had a more comfortable position to hold each other in.

"I'm sorry for that. I should give you my undying attention", Kyoya apologized sarcastically.

"You should! … especially when I don't have any pants on".

"Oh, I can't disagree with that", Kyoya conceded, a smirk returning to his face as he rolled over so he was on top of Kaoru.