Zero

by TheBordelineNonAlcoholicWriter

Many people were suddenly born with strange powers they have to pay a painful price for. Like humans do when something happens that they don't understand, they try to get rid of what they see as a threat... or use it to their advantage, and maybe that's even worse. What could be the next step in the evolution is used to further ta us back. (Updated description)

19. Chapter 19 Old meets new

A/N: Since my first Harry Potter fanfic was finished long ago I will geek out here instead about it. I'm so overwhelmed with the love I got on that story (I got a few comments here and a lot of comments on Archive of our own, I have the same username there if you would rather read my stories there) and that boosts my confidence about this one despite this being different and much less known. It makes me feel better about my abilities in general and make me look even more forward to writing my other ideas... some of them are a little crazy but if you like my writing style and are okay with the dark shit I write (and like the fandoms I write for) then you should definitely check those out when they come! I will forewarn that my best stories probably will be my Harry Potter fanfics (obligatory fuck JKR) since Harry Potter is my special interest and for some reason I like putting Fred in angsty situations (a lot of you probably know what I mean haha).

I also apologize for the bad pacing. I should have planned things better with time since now everything happened from when Kaoru was almost 18 and he still isn't 19 and that isn't good. I should have made more time pass. I will think about that in the future. That's what I like about writing fanfics, I get a lot of practice and learn a lot.

---

Chapter 19. Old meets new.

After finally eating the delicious feast Kyoya had brought them (very eagerly on Kaoru's part since he hadn't eaten properly that day for obvious reasons), the couple spent some time in the sun before packing up and leaving. Kaoru was unable to not look at every single person they passed by in the park to make sure that no one had heard them having sex, but no one gave anything away. Bastards.

Kyoya took him to a zoo next since he knew that it was a normal thing neither twin had experienced. Kaoru suspected that this wasn't the original place Kyoya had wanted to take him but he was probably about to switch soon and this was a safe bet.

"Maybe one day we can try to go to the cinema. If we dare that is. Do you watch movies at the home?"

"The ones on tv and the few we have… ", Kaoru blinked a couple of times before looking around in confusion. "What is this place, Kyoya?"

"It's a zoo and we are with the lions".

"Real lions?"

Kaoru walked closer to the den and watched the majestic creatures in awe, which made Kyoya more confident in his choices. It was difficult to tell if Kaoru was a younger teenager or an older one. The "older teenage age" was kind of rare but Kaoru didn't currently act lovestruck and nervous around him like he did during his "younger tee age".

It was quite interesting how often he visited different ages. "Toddler age", "younger teenager age", 17 and 18 were the most common ones Kaoru switched to while "older teenager age" appeared less, while ages such as "mute (baby?) age", 15 and "unidentifiable age" only came up once or twice each since the beginning. It was unexplainable.

Things such as 17 being one of the ages wasn't very weird since it was already pretty close to his current age and Kaoru's issues had definitely at least started to manifest by then (at least it was a theory), but Kaoru and the others were in the dark about the rest. Kaoru didn't think there was a certain reason for any of the ages' existence but Kyoya wasn't so sure. Hikaru was just generally very confused. Another thing that puzzled them was that Kaoru only had two (three if you count the one, 15, that never really showed up) specific ages. The 18 one was one thing, but the other two remained a mystery.

"There is a part of the zoo where you can pet sheep and such, but maybe you want to continue looking at the bigger, more dangerous, ones".

"I want to see more dangerous animals, yes… and then the sheep".

Kyoya chuckled.

Both slowly made their way around the park. Kaoru was deeply fascinated with all the real-life animals but Kyoya could sense some worry emitting from him. He assumed Kaoru was a little bothered by the enclosures and if they were good enough for the animals or not. It made Kyoya a little disappointed in himself since he should have known that someone who had been treated like an animal in a cage for most of his life would be a little weirded out at a place like this. Logically, he knew that it was impossible for him to always know what not to do to make sure that Kaoru wouldn't be uncomfortable since his needs and triggers were different from the average person, but he felt like he should have been more prepared than this.

Kyoya was currently taking Kaoru to the petting zoo. He didn't think they would be kicked out for not being children as long as they didn't give any reason for the staff to suspect them of mischief.

"Sheep are not meat eaters, right?"

"Meat-eaters? Maybe if they are desperate enough… don't look so horrified, the sheep won't eat you".

"I guess they wouldn't have a petting zoo with dangerous animals… ".

"You're adorable when you're nervous".

"Shut up, old man".

"I'm not that old", Kyoya responded, face darkening dangerously and Kaoru gulped.

"I was just joking. You're young, very young. Very young and attractive… ".

"Attractive, Huh?" Kyoya smirked and Kaoru looked more alarmed.

"I m-mean-".

"I enjoy you stepping on your own toes but I suggest you stop talking for your own sake", Kyoya chuckled and Kaoru closed his mouth tightly and nodded.

Clearly, Kaoru was an older teenager but still very adorable and awkward. Kyoya hoped that him calling Kaoru adorable wasn't inappropriate as he was just trying to mess with him. It was probably a bad idea regardless, especially if Kaoru was starting to harbor feelings for him at this age too.

Kaoru became a little skittish when they arrived at the petting zoo and it looked like he almost didn't want to do this anymore.

"Do you want to go to the baby sheep?" Kyoya helpfully suggested and Kaoru hesitantly nodded before Kyoya started to gently pull him towards the small animals.

Inside the enclosure, Kyoya had to tug Kaoru's hand towards the little sheep in order for him to not just stand there awkwardly and rigid. Kaoru immediately relaxed as soon as his fingers were touching the cushion-like fur on top of the little lamb's head. Kyoya removed his hand while Kaoru, all too carefully, petted its head with a hesitant and worried look in his narrowed eyes. The older male chuckled and stroked the sheep's head a little harder than Kaoru to show that he didn't need to treat the animal like it was made out of thin glass and Kaoru followed suit.

"It's so… fluffy", Kaoru stated, amazed, with wide eyes and a small and gleeful smile on his lips. "It's too bad that Hikaru couldn't be here with us".

"Hopefully, he is feeling a little better when you get home to tell him about your day. I think he would still enjoy hearing about it".

"Yeah", Kaoru responded a little absentmindedly. "Thanks for bringing me here".

"I'm just glad you liked this… or else I would have wasted my money for nothing", Kyoya quickly added and Kaoru laughed while still having his eyes glued on the creature in front of him that almost felt as unreal as if Kaoru was petting a dragon.

After being at the zoo for a few more minutes, the couple was on a bus home. Kaoru was exhausted from all the new things he had seen that day. Despite it not being that late, Kaoru was resting his tired head on Kyoya's shoulder and Kyoya let him. They earned some stares but most people seemed to be under the assumption that Kyoya was unlucky to be forced to be his "friend's" human pillow. At least that's what Kyoya concluded that their laughs meant since they didn't sound mean or malicious.

That night, after talking excitedly with Hikaru (who pretended to not be too interested because it was a date), he fell asleep without the usual sadness looming over him. Even if Kyoya wasn't with him, he still felt his presence.

...

"Okay, the wine was good. I'll admit it, some alcohol is okay", a woman in her mid-30s, with a short dyed blond curly bob, confessed.

A man, looking old enough to be her father, guffawed with a croaky voice. Somehow, she found it endearing. Desperation perhaps? Maybe some weird preference for "older boots?"

"I told you that you need to try things out before knocking 'em".

"I suppose", she chuckled. "We're at your house now so I should probably go".

"Everyone will be asleep".

"I don't want to risk anything. We need to do this properly".

"You're right" he relented with an impatient groan.

She smiled like she took that as flattery for him wanting her so bad. He leaned in closer to her and they kissed for what felt like several minutes. It was weird that human beings could be without breathing for that long, but it could be assumed that the old man was trying to suck all the breath out of her. Maybe that's what gave him so much energy for his age? Maybe she used to be younger, and him much older, at the beginning of their "relationship"? Perhaps he was really trying to steal her youth like the witches on TV?

"Oh, God", she gasped as she broke away from the kiss with her eyes glued to the window above their heads.

The old man looked quite annoyed with her until he also saw the little nine-year-old redhead standing on the other side of the window with a solemn look on his face. The boy's eyes immediately widened in horror as he realized that they had noticed him; he knew that he was definitely going to get it now…

...

Kaoru's eyes opened and he sat up. He burrowed his face in his hands and sighed deeply.

"You okay over there?" He heard Hikaru croak at him, followed by a loud yawn that probably cracked his jaw a little bit.

Kaoru lifted his head and looked down at the scarred skin on the back of his hand.

"Why am I remembering her? Why now? Why her specifically?"

"Who are you talking about?" Hikaru groggily asked as he sat up in his little cocoon that made him look like an adorably flustered caterpillar with bed hair.

"Daisy… I just remember who she was… ".

"I'm not following… ".

"It's okay, that's not what's important. What is important however is that I regained memories that were lost before I became scattered".

"Is that weird? Memories can be triggered by random things all the time, right?"

"Yeah, but something is familiar. This doesn't feel like a normal returned memory… I suppose that could mean that it's a fake one… ".

"Why would you think that?"

"I have a lot of fake memories. I thought they were solely other people's memories but I think they are intertwining with my own. Like when I misremembered where we grew up-".

"I was right? Fuck you I knew!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but you're not listening. Other people's memories are blending in with my own to the point I can't tell what part of the memory happened to me and what part happened to someone else. It's really fucking mind-scrambling".

"I know it's difficult when you don't feel like you can always trust your own mind", Hikaru said sympathetically and awake and Kaoru knew that he really could. "But it's nothing you'll be able to figure out if you force it. You might not be able to figure shit out on your own. Maybe you should ask me or Kyoya if you're ever uncertain about anything? At least instead of keeping things to yourself and just hope that you can call bullshit on your memories by yourself".

"Maybe you're right… ", Kaoru admitted with reluctance. "But I don't know how any of you are gonna help me with memories like this. I mean, you have repressed things too and have no idea who Daisy is".

"I haven't repressed nearly as much as you and maybe I do know but need more than a name to trigger the forgotten memories?"

"Then I'll tell you if I ever figure out more about her… if I could just remember the face of the old man… ".

"You don't make any sense again".

"I suppose", Kaoru shrugged before lying down again.

"Wait… you said old man? How old was Daisy?" Hikaru asked, sitting up straighter.

"I'm not sure. Not super young but not super old either. Older than us at least".

"Tell me everything you believe that you remember about her".

Kaoru obliged by telling Hikaru both about his dream and about the ice since it was then he first got the name Daisy and the old man was there too.

"Oh, the blonde homewrecker!" Hikaru exclaimed, beaming because he knew he was onto something.

"The what?"

"That's what we used to call her! Maybe you remember her better by our first nickname for her, before mom told us to change it, the blond bitch? Granted we didn't know that the word bitch was bad but we knew that mom called her a homewrecker".

"I… ".

"Tell me, is that old man really a stranger?" Hikaru helpfully asked and Kaoru's eyes widened.

"Grandad… how could I forget my own grandad's face?"

"None of us remember our parents' faces so I don't see how that is weird. You don't remember Daisy's face properly either, right?"

"Not really, mostly just her hair… but I remembered the shit our grandad did to me, at least a small part of it, shouldn't I remember that it was him behind it all?"

"Maybe it wasn't necessary since he was like a stranger to us because he was only there to come up with ways to 'cure' us. Ryoichi and the serum only unlocked specifically what they thought was needed, right? Nothing more?"

"And nothing remotely happy", Kaoru sighed. "I guess it doesn't make it worse that it was a relative who did that to me… it actually makes it less bad in a way. It's hard to explain but the only reason I cared about his opinion was because he could hit me how much he wanted. Now, when he can't do shit to me, I couldn't care less… maybe the guys were clever to cut his identity out when I had to remember him trying to make me freeze to death".

"Or maybe it was stupid luck? I dunno, I have no idea how that sciency thing behind that serum, our serum I suppose, worked".

"Me neither", Kaoru yawned. "I'm sorry I woke you up but thanks for the insight".

"You're welcome. Go back to sleep", Hikaru ordered before lying down and rolling so his back was turned towards Kaoru.

Kaoru chuckled and closed his eyes but before he could fall asleep another connection was made. He realized why it felt so weird when he got his memory of his grandfather's affair with Daisy back… it was the same feeling as he had after getting his first memory of his grandfather. Did that mean that something went wrong and more was accidentally unlocked? … or was this Ryoichi's doing? It did sound like something he could do. Maybe this was his weird version of a "gift" or a favor? Kaoru didn't know, these were all speculations. Maybe he was just imagining the connection? If not then he would surely get more of these old memories, right? He didn't know if he liked that but it was beyond his control.

---

As expected, Hikaru did not want to go and have alone time with Kyoya even if it was fair since Kaoru had taken up his outside time. Apparently, the possible bonding moment horrified him, but he was still allowed to choose what they were supposed to do that day. More than fair.

Hikaru decided that they would visit an arcade Kyoya had mentioned since it sounded very cool. Kyoya agreed if both promised to tap out if all the sounds and lights were too much for them. The twins did and Kyoya took them to the place.

It was obvious from the moment they stepped inside the dark hall with neon lights that it was a little overwhelming for the twins, but none of them freaked out enough for the need to leave. Kaoru was holding onto Kyoya's arm bashfully and nervously as he was "toddler age" currently and wasn't comfortable doing anything yet.

With Hikaru being like a lost lamb in the place, Kyoya made himself play a few games with the older twin just to make him a little more used to the place and get the hang of things. Kaoru was just standing next to them the entire time while watching their game eagerly with amazement.

When Hikaru was starting to finally become a match to Kyoya he was finally confident enough to go around by himself and sometimes play some games with Kaoru that was better suited for his age.

Currently, he was playing a shooter game with a much younger boy who had decided to challenge him. Kyoya and Kaoru were hanging out on the fake car seats belonging to a racing game that was currently out of order.

"It's nice that he can be happy", Kaoru eventually said after switching age. "I hope it's genuine and that it stays that way".

"Why wouldn't it be genuine?" Kyoya inquired, turning all of his attention to him instead of Hikaru. "Aren't you happy?"

"I am… when I'm not feeling guilty for wasting time".

"Why do you feel like you're wasting time? You can't really do anything like getting an education or getting a job until your mental state has improved and that's out of your control", Kyoya reminded him.

"I'm still not out of that base completely. In fact it feels like the more I'm out here the more I'm back there… heh, didn't mean for that to rhyme".

"Kaoru… ".

"Sorry, sorry. I'll keep to the subject since I know I'm worrying you now. I meant that I have the same mindset still of needing to be necessary. It's stressing me out that I'm out here having fun when I should use my abilities to do something. I became a blockade and I barely got the time to use my new powers. Why did I even go through all that if it ruined everything?"

"You know, maybe it's because we are finally in a more normal setting, but the way you feel isn't as weird as I thought it was before", Kyoya mused and Kaoru furrowed his brows in confusion. "Many people feel worthless when they can't contribute to society and it's society's fault, not theirs. I used to be like that to a certain extent too. I didn't see that you were the same before since your situation was so different. You weren't the average working bee after all. You couldn't change jobs, didn't have anywhere else to go and couldn't live on benefits. But it's still not much different. You'll stop feeling like this when you're out here long enough. You'll realize that you're more than the work you do".

"Maybe but when? Hikaru will be able to get a job long before me, he'll be able to do more than sit at home soiling his pants. He is perfectly capable of doing more than that right now… ".

"Soil- is it still very bad at home?"

Kaoru turned to look at Hikaru's game with a melancholic frown.

"No one has attacked me and all of my ages have finally started to understand that they shouldn't talk to anyone that isn't staff or Hikaru, but it's still a very tense and disconcerting environment. I wish I could at least know for sure everything I did to them so I knew how to feel".

"Aren't they just attacking you because they blame you for the issues they developed after consuming your serum for several years?"

"Not all of them no… or at least I think there are more but, as you know, I can't really trust that I'm just carrying my own memories anymore… Hikaru suggested that I start to ask you two about things I'm uncertain about… ".

"That sounds like a good idea. It looks like he is starting another round with his vicious twelve-year-old competitor, you can ask something now if you have anything in mind".

"I don't think… actually, there is something I've been thinking about… or at least most of us are".

"Most of you?"

"Yeah, I don't think the 18 year old is dwelling on it as much because he had more memories of the circumstances", Kaoru explained (and Kyoya guessed he had to be 17 right now).

"Are you talking about yourself in third person now?"

"It kind of feels like we are different people in a way. At least for me since I can't remember shit what my younger ages do. I do remember some I did as 18, I think, but not enough for it to feel completely like me".

"It's a very good thing that at least one of the younger ages is starting to remember something from another age", Kyoya happily noted. "But what do you want to ask about?"

"Well… please don't be mad at me if I'm wrong", Kaoru pleaded, looking ashamed and was unable to look Kyoya in the eye.

"What?" Kyoya cocked his eyebrow. "If you remember something wrong it's not your fault. Go ahead, I won't judge you", he added while now feeling a little nervous about what Kaoru could possibly think about.

"Ehm… you had a part in why I'm like this, real or fake?" Kaoru forced out quickly like he was ripping off a bandage.

"Can you… be a little more specific?" Kyoya frowned.

The answer was undoubtedly a hard no but he wanted to know exactly how Kaoru remembered these events.

"It's blurry but you had something to do with some sort of experiment with the serum, right? Isn't that partially why you're here?" Kaoru recalled and Kyoya's face dropped as he stared at him with appallment.

"You… I'm sorry, it's difficult to find the right words… The part about the serum being a culprit is… well, the only part of your memory that is correct. I was only your personal doctor, I had no involvement whatsoever with anything zero related since it wasn't something I was qualified for. I am not sure what experiment you're talking about either since taking the serum for many years can be considered a trial… I was part of the process to make you a blockade but I was simply keeping an eye on you and testing your memories and mental health… I suppose I was emotional support as well but that was more related to me just caring about you as opposed to it being a part of the process".

"Th-that makes sense", Kaoru gulped like he was swallowing a lump in his throat and looked a little relieved at being wrong (yet horrified at what he had accused Kyoya of). "I started to take the serum many years before you even considered taking the job at the base. You being my personal doctor makes sense too with the rest of my memories since things I recall you doing wasn't part of the hospital's duty".

"The zero unrelated checkups or the sex?" Kyoya jokingly asked and Kaoru chuckled despite still looking like he had accused an innocent puppy of murder.

"Technically both", he responded before looking down. "I'm sorry that I implied that you did this to me. I have no idea whose memory is merging with mine to make me think that you did, but I should have known better. I know you really like me but I guess it made sense to me that you needed another reason to do all of this for us… and I apologize for that too. You don't need me to question you like that when you're so kind… ".

"I told you that it isn't your doing, you not knowing that happened I mean. I'm really glad you finally decided to bring this up with me so you could finally get the truth. I would hate it if you thought I was just doing this because I felt like I needed to out of guilt and not because I am a useless romantic who wants to make sure that the guy he loves… plus the guy he for some reason cares about, are treated right. No ulterior motives, the sex is just a bonus".

"I can't fathom that you had to tell me that last part for once, and not Hikaru… that you don't have anything sinister in mind I mean, not the sex part. And useless? Isn't it hopeless?".

"No, I meant useless… I'm probably also a little scattered the day I'll ever express that I want to do anything like that with Hikaru", Kyoya deadpanned with a traumatized facial expression and Kaoru followed that up with exuberant laughter.

Hikaru was a little annoyed at the disturbance but still too focused on beating the child he was battling to verbally make his complaints known. Instead, he just made a face to show that he didn't appreciate the distracting noise.

"If you ever have more questions about memories then don't be afraid to speak up", Kyoya told him when he had cooled down. "We wouldn't want you to suffer in silence like that".

"I will but maybe later? Hikaru just lost again and I really want to try to kick his ass at something before our time here is over… ".

The rest of the day was both enjoyable and memorable. It was extra enjoyable for Kaoru who could now walk around with a slightly less heavy heart.

---

"I hate it here!" Kaoru exclaimed between the hiccups caused by his extensive cry session.

He was a toddler again, sitting on the bathroom floor in his own filth. His face was red and puffy and his eyes were bloodshot and full of an amount of shame an oblivious toddler shouldn't feel. If this had been another universe where Kaoru was just a drunk teenager who had pissed himself and was rambling about nothing, like it looked like from the outside, Hikaru might have found this at least a little bit funny. However, right now in front of him, he was having someone who was starting to become genuinely broken.

Usually, the twins managed to avoid the other patients there fairly well, but sometimes those fuckers succeeded in sneaking in their disgust through the cracks. Since it took time before a problem would become resolved, Kaoru's "potty issues" had still been present even if the harassment wasn't as bad. Normally he could hide it well enough but this time around, thanks to more stupidity on the staff's part since they refused to believe that Kaoru needed to leave, he had an accident in front of everyone and was bullied mercilessly for it. He didn't have to apologize for being verbally abused this time around but it was still very traumatic and mishandled by the circus monkeys that were supposed to be the staff.

The whole ordeal made Kaoru run and lock himself in the bathroom, which freaked out everyone who gave even the smallest shit about him; suspecting Kaoru of making drastic decisions caused by his turmoil. Hikaru knew Kaoru didn't want to scar his body further nor try to permanently leave like that, but he still begged to be let inside until Kaoru eventually gave in. And now, just like a couple of weeks ago, they were alone. Keeping the rest of the world outside.

"I hate this too", Hikaru agreed, less aggressive as he was trying to be a calming presence for his brother's sake. "You need to get cleaned and change clothes… or do you want me to fix a bath for you? You haven't taken one yet, right? Thinking they're a waste of time… ". Hikaru mumbled the last part to himself, clearly not understanding Kaoru's "grudge" against bathing.

"Maybe he would have agreed sooner if his boyfriend had asked to join? Eww".

"Can I have a bath?" Kaoru sniveled with one of his fists rubbing his sore eyeball.

"Yes, good. Then I'll prepare the tub. Can you remove your clothes and put this towel around yourself?" Hikaru asked and gave his brother the fluffiest towel he could find, mostly for the sake of Kaoru's modesty rather than him being uncomfortable with his brother's nakedness.

"Okay", Kaoru mumbled and started to discard his outfit.

If you had asked Hikaru months ago if he would have ever been able to do this with a straight face, he would have responded with a resounding no. However, he didn't think this was an embarrassing situation for either twin. It just felt like he was taking care of someone with certain needs, or that this was his duty as a brother… perhaps he would have felt differently if he had been forced to wipe Kaoru's arse but hopefully he would never have to.

After preparing the bath, Kaoru coyly removed the towel and sank down into the warm water. At first, the tears started to fall again, but he was more silently weeping instead of having a full meltdown like last time. Hikaru was sitting on the ground next to the tub with his mute support.

It did not take long before Kaoru started to play around in the water instead by submerging himself to attempt holding his breath for as long as he could, blowing air with his mouth under the surface to create bubbles and moving around in the tub. This time around Hikaru did find the situation funny and allowed himself to laugh a little at his brother's antics. Moments like this were what Kaoru's age shifting should have caused, a little bit of silliness Not like it was instead. Not this painful.

A few hours later, the crippling sadness within Kaoru was replaced with embarrassment and burning anger. He was sitting on the couch in the social room with his arms crossed over his chest after the latest decision regarding his care had come to fruition. Never had he felt this patronized and humiliated in his entire life, but at least his current serious state made people not dare to bother him for once. They probably remembered how well he could hold up against Monty and an altercation was much more difficult to avoid when the younger twin looked so battle-ready.

"I'm sorry that this had to happen", Hikaru said with a crack in his voice from being silent so long. "I can always ask for one myself to stand in solidarity… ".

"I have more scars than skin but I've never felt so disgusting before", Kaoru stated monotonously while still staring blankly in front of him. "This isn't gonna fix anything! They are gonna bully me even more now".

"I don't know about that, they look positively afraid of you now… ".

"And it better fucking stays that way", Kaoru brusquely said and Hikaru could tell by the shakiness in his voice and excessive blinking that he was close to tears again. "This is a nightmare, I should be stronger than this".

"This has nothing to do with strength. A part of you is a literal child, be patient with him. He is just reacting to things around him".

"And now I have to wear a fucking diaper", Kaoru grumbled. "I know it's not younger me's fault but I hate that I have to wear it all the time while the people who caused me to have this problem in the first place left with not even a slap on the wrist… but instead with a slightly too messy and wet kiss. Those assholes should be the ones to wear diapers in 'solidarity'"

"That definitely sounds fair".

"It's the least they could do. Not that it would make me forgive the staff's incompetence but at least it would feel less like I'm getting punished for being attacked".

"Yeah. Maybe we should suggest that? If they think it's inhumane or some shit like that then you have my permission to slap them".

"I might just do that".

"You both have a visitor", someone called out to them as Kyoya entered the room.

Usually, Kaoru would be over the moon to see even a glimpse of the "light of his life", but right now he could only feel shame and fear over how Kyoya would look at him now.

"I should have called in advance but you weren't on the phone like usual", Kyoya explained, half apologetically.

"We were a little preoccupied", Hikaru huffed like he thought that Kyoya sounded like he had the right to their time.

"Another fight?"

"We don't need a reason, he doesn't need a reason to not heed your every call".

"But Kaoru isn't looking like he just decided to relax all day, does he?" Kyoya replied with an eye roll. "Stop treating me like a villain for five minutes please and tell me what happened".

"You don't deserve to know everything. That's information you're not entitled to just because you're helpful".

"I'm not saying that I'm entitled to anything", Kyoya tried to answer as patiently as possible but Hikaru was really starting to get on his nerves. "I'm saying that I want to know why Kaoru, my boyfriend, is upset. If it's a private matter between the two of you then I'll of course stay out of it, but you could have just said so".

"Are you suggesting that it's my fault?" Hikaru asked, offended and Kyoya looked like he was about to lose his marbles.

"Wha- I - no! I don't know what happened and I have no guesses either. I was trying to say that if I wasn't supposed to know something you should have told me that. In a non-rude way preferably. I can't tell if I'm supposed to expect the worst or if you're blowing things out of proportion".

"Are you- ?"

"Yes, he is obviously accusing you of whatever shit you are making him believe", Kaoru abruptly cut him off with strawberry red cheeks. "Just tell him already that they force me to wear a diaper instead of freaking him out because you're too proud to not pick worthless fights with him. Is this supposed to make me feel better? Do you think I would prefer you to start a fight with him instead of allowing him to try to make me feel better over this shitty situation? You thought that I didn't want him here or did you even care?"

Hikaru gaped at him, speechless. His mouth opened and closed a few times while Kyoya stayed silent as to not accidentally agitate Hikaru further as it would make Kaoru even more upset (even if he did want to give Hikaru a piece of his own mind or console Kaoru as soon as possible). But he had to wait patiently, and he would.

"I- I- ".

"No, Hikaru. Stay quiet and don't open your mouth until you have run out of shit to throw at him".

Hikaru looked like he wanted to argue but his guilt and need for Kaoru to be better were stronger and made him silent and compliant.

"I have said it times before and I'll say it again, you don't need to feel bad around me", Kyoya finally said to Kaoru, pretending that Hikaru wasn't in the room because he didn't want the slightest attention to reignite him. "I know me saying that won't be enough for you to feel good about the situation, but I think it's good that you know that I don't think of you any less".

"Aren't you always telling me to not care about your opinion?"

"But you do, so I should put your worries to rest".

Kaoru sighed, not looking as angry as before (at least not at anyone but himself).

"Doesn't it feel even more like you're taking care of a child or someone mentally disabled now? Don't pretend that this is normal or even desirable… not that I want this to be desirable of course, but I don't want to be undesirable either… ".

"Didn't you imply that I was interested in these kinds of things before", Kyoya asked and it took a moment for Kaoru to get it before he laughed.

"How do you even remember that?"

"You were so cute then so how could I not? But in all seriousness, I'm not looking at you any differently. I wouldn't even if this was for your sake and not just your toddler self's. You don't have to wear it constantly either. It takes hours before you switch so you can find time without it".

"Don't want to risk having to rip it off?" Kaoru teased, feeling a little better about the situation now.

Hikaru made a grossed-out sound just to remind them that he was still present even if he wasn't allowed to talk.

"Maybe that's a conversation for another time", Kyoya mumbled before sitting down next to Kaoru. "I almost forgot, I came here with good news".

"That's needed".

"Especially the ones I have. My sister- ".

"Sister!?" Kaoru exclaimed. "This is the first time I'm hearing about this… ".

"I have two brothers too but I haven't talked to any of my siblings in years. I should probably have mentioned siblings previously but it was hard for me to talk about and I didn't think that they would be a part of my life anyway. Especially since I was prepared for our relationship to strictly stay inside of the base. I'm sorry that I sprung it upon you like this".

"No, it's alright, I understand. Were they homophobic? If I'm allowed to ask?"

"You are allowed to ask whatever you want about my family now, and yes I was disowned because of that. I always believed that my sister just followed along with what the others did. Inexcusable of course, but she is trying to get back in contact. Which brings me to the good news. She is going to travel for a few months with her boyfriend and plan on moving in with him afterward if it goes well. She is offering to rent out her apartment second-hand. Which will be cheaper since money is far from an issue for her. It's big enough for all three of us if you're interested".

"I'm wearing a diaper right now so of course I'm interested in leaving this place, but what happens if she decides to move back into her house?"

"Yeah, won't that doom us two to homelessness?" Hikaru finally spoke up.

"I've checked and you can move back in here since Kaoru will still have his condition".

"Why does it feel like you have worked hard behind the scenes? And not just with your actual work?" Kaoru asked and the edges of Kyoya's lips quirked upwards. "And it's very convenient that she is allowing you to live there cheaper".

"Planning and such is what I'm good at and she is rich, it's not going to cause her overall money to reduce. For her it's like paying a monthly subscription for some magazine".

"I can respect a girl for managing to marry rich… especially if she gives away a whole ass house… but this isn't her thinking that it would solve everything, right?"

"She knows that we have a long way to go before we are fine again", Kyoya assured with an appreciative smile for Kaoru looking out for him. "And we are lucky that she married rich… and that she was born rich… ".

The twins stared at him with open mouths out of shock. The way Kyoya said that was nonchalant, but not in a way that suggested that it wasn't a big deal or that he was cocky about it.

"You're rich!?" Hikaru almost shrieked.

"Was", Kyoya corrected. "Disowned, remember? I can't say that it wasn't humbling in a way but sometimes you do wish you had all that money again. For example when you want to buy a house or get the best care possible for someone", he explained while giving Kaoru a meaningful look. "I used to want to try to take over my father's company, despite being the third son, but that was quashed for obvious reasons".

"That was your ultimate goal, wasn't it?" Kaoru asked softly with a sad look on his face. "That's what you were actually talking about at the arcade, isn't it? When you were a 'worker bee'".

"Yes, but after a long time of trying to find a new goal in life, I think I've found something else".

"Like what? Kaoru? Sounds a little unhealthy doesn't it?"

"Yes and no", Kyoya responded before bringing out a pamphlet from one of his large jack pockets.

He showed it to the twins and they were both stunned to see that it was an advertisement for a protest, a pro zero protest.

"What- ".

"I know it feels like things are standing still when it comes to zero acceptance because that's exactly what it did within the base, but people, zeros and non zeros alike, are trying to fight for justice. I create my own purpose and I want to try to help to make life for zeros equal to my own. I'm not sure in what way yet but I am doing research and plan on using my knowledge about zeros for something good. So yeah, you could say that Kaoru is my goal but you're sort of that too".

"Th-that's… great", Kaoru said, sounding a little choked up.

In fact, both twins looked like they could cry any minute. Kyoya was sure it was mostly because of the fact that they had seen proof of people out there fighting for them rather than his "speech" itself. Perhaps Kaoru was moved by Kyoya's ambition but Hikaru certainly wasn't.

None of the two were saying anything so Kyoya decided to ask if they were interested in moving in with him or not. That snapped the twins out of their thoughts and they only needed to look at each other and have a short silent conversation before they nodded at him.

"Great. We might need a few meetings with the staff about your care, but my sister isn't leaving her house for a few weeks so we have the time".

"It feels unreal", Hikaru commented. "Us moving out I mean".

"You had no faith in me, did you?" Kyoya asked him, with a hint of teasing in his otherwise offended tone. "You never did think I could take you two out of here?"

"I thought it would take longer… or perhaps a crossroad demon deal".

"I thought I was Satan in your narrative?"

"You're right, damn".

"... You two are not gonna kill each other while I'm peeing, right?"

"What? Oh, you don't intend on doing it here", Hikaru said with a chuckle and Kaoru glared at him.

"I re- fucking- use. It's for accidents only, I'm still not 99 years old and unable to control my own bladder…. outside of when I'm a toddler!"

"Okay, okay. Go and do your business now", Hikaru dismissively waved him away.

"We'll be civil", Kyoya smiled soothingly and Kaoru nodded before standing up and leaving the room.

Kyoya did plan on not really talking to Hikaru before his boyfriend returned but the older twin had something different in mind.

"When do I have to do that favor for you by the way?"

"Favor?"

"Yes, the one I promised you to help us out. When am I paying back?"

"Don't think about that… ".

"Please I'm going mad by the thought of what you'll force me to do".

"You'll know in time", Kyoya assured, bored, and Hikaru's eyes widened at the confirmation of there actually being something Kyoya wanted him to do.

Yes, he had suspected that this was a thing but actually hearing it made him scared in a sense. Perhaps there had been a part of him that had hoped that Kyoya was better than Hikaru had thought that he was, but evidently not.

"When?" Hikaru asked, barely loud enough for Kyoya to hear.

"When you guys move in".

"Why?"

"Because I know you well enough", was Kyoya's nonchalant response. "But don't for a second think that your 'payment' is helping around the house. That's something I expect from the both of you since it will be our place and I'm not a maid".

"Okay… ".

Hikaru was too suspicious and out of it, from his paranoia being justified for once, to properly form anything cohesive that was longer than what he ultimately said.

No one kept up the conversation until Kaoru returned. He and Kyoya quickly fell into a discussion about the new house while Hikaru stared at Kyoya like the older male was going to lunge at Kaoru any second. Hikaru couldn't comprehend why Kyoya couldn't just have told him right then what he planned for him… or why Hikaru didn't plan on telling Kaoru about Kyoya's possible sinister schemes. Or he did know about that one; he didn't want to risk Kyoya taking back everything due to Hikaru being selfish… so that's why Kyoya didn't tell him now? He wanted to make sure that Hikaru was in his territory?

"Why did Kyoya have to be the one we needed to depend on?" Hikaru mentally lamented while being disappointed in his own inadequacy.

He should have been the only help Kaoru needed after all, but he was too broken and chewed up to be able to do that.

Hikaru narrowed his eyes but Kyoya still spoke with Kaoru like no one else was there. "Why did it have to be you?"

---

The coming weeks passed by in a flash for Kaoru but passed by in several years for Hikaru. The stress over what Kyoya would force him to do filled him with enough anxiety for himself to worry about not being able to control his bladder. Of course, he didn't wet himself but his paranoia about it was fairly high. The Nervosity had caused him almost constant nausea and headaches and he wasn't entirely sure why. What was the worst thing Kyoya could make him do? … murder? Would Kyoya actually make him kill someone? Maybe one of Kyoya's brothers? Perhaps Kyoya hadn't gotten over the dream of taking over the family company after all?

The twins had seen pictures of the outside plus the inside of the house, but it was unreal to actually step inside it for the first time. It was way larger than a one-person house should have been. It was a three-story building. The color theme seemed to be white and different shades of brown wood (which made the constant white color feel less hospital sterile).

"You are selling drugs on the side", Hikaru couldn't help but accuse Kyoya. "No way you can afford this even with a brotherly discount".

"You're underestimating how filthy rich the Otori family is. I used to have several personal bodyguards… ironic since it's now after I'm openly gay that I do need all that".

"Are you from a fucking mob family?" Hikaru asked, horrified, and Kyoya actually laughed.

"People assume that but we- they are actually in the medicine business. Kind of why I leaned towards becoming a doctor, even if I would like to believe my ambitions were a little more heartfelt rather than just business-oriented. I'm lucky that I came out- or rather was outed- after finishing school".

"Hence why no student debt?" Kaoru finally commented from inside one of the bathrooms.

The door was open since he was just looking around.

"Yes, but enough about my 'family'. Let me show you the room arrangement".

The twins followed Kyoya up the stairs. Two rooms on each side of a small hallway had open doors; one semi-furnished room with a double bed and one rather empty-looking room with two single beds.

"It used to be her closet", Kyoya told them while gesturing towards the single beds' room. "Hence why not much is in there. I don't know how much of the furniture she will take to her boyfriend's, but those beds are from the guest room so I doubt she would want to bring them".

"Closet!?" Hikaru nearly yelled. "It's bigger than any of the rooms we have ever lived in".

"You're sounding as overwhelmed as Tamaki's fiancée when it comes to rich people", Kyoya chuckled. "And before you ask why I couldn't just have left the beds in the guest room, I wanted Kaoru closer in case he wants to sleep in my bed and the guest room has an awful color scheme. You will thank me when you see it, I know you will".

"So you intend on letting him go back and forth between us again?" Hikaru asked in incomprehension.

"That's very thoughtful", Kaoru told Kyoya.

"You two definitely need to learn how to sleep apart some day for your own good, but I don't see why that day has to come so soon… and don't worry about my room being so close to yours, Hikaru. I've done sound tests-".

"Okay, ew, I don't need you to finish that disgusting sentence", Hikaru groaned and the other two burst out laughing at his disgust.

"I just remembered, I thought Ai would sleep in the guest room if she had to stay over", Kaoru reminded Kyoya. "Where is her bed?"

Sir. Everett's home agreed to have Ai help at the new house with Kaoru. She would be there almost every day at first but her schedule would definitely be altered to cater to Kaoru's needs since he probably didn't need her 24/7, especially with Kyoya more present. The twins still thought that the staff was dangerously naive but Kaoru had grown to like Ai at least a bit. After giving her the benefit of the doubt and actually sat her down and explained the whole situation she actually made an effort to stop being passive in the background and either take the twins out of possible dangerous situations or tell the bullies off if they tried to start something. It had been nice to have at least one ally at the home (Eileen was still kind but very useless)… even if she still could come off as a little condescending with the way she spoke to them. But that seemed to just be standard behavior for those people.

"She will have one, don't worry", Kyoya soothed.

"It's difficult to believe… this house I mean, not that you will give her a bed", Hikaru quickly corrected.

"You not assuming the worst of me for once is an improvement", Kyoya said half mockingly and Hikaru rolled his eyes. "But this will become our home for at least a couple of months".

"What exactly would happen to you if she decided to not move in with her boyfriend?" Kaoru dared to ask. "I mean we are going back to the home but where will you go?"

"Well if I keep up an amicable relationship with my sister then she will let me stay until I find my own apartment. Don't worry about me".

"... where am I?" Kaoru suddenly asked with a very timid voice.

"This is the new house we talked about", Kyoya recounted softly to the confounded "child". "Do you remember? No bad people here".

"No bad people", Kaoru repeated shyly.

"Do you want to play with playdough in the kitchen?" Kyoya suggested.

"What's that?"

"Oh, you'll like it".

Hikaru passively tagged along as Kyoya took Kaoru's hand and led him back downstairs and into the kitchen. It didn't take long for the younger twin to emerge in his new toy.

"Remember, it's not for consumption", Kyoya warned again. "Your stomach will be angry with you if you eat it and that isn't good, is it?"

"Is it weird for you to baby-talk him?" Hikaru asked with eyes trained on Kaoru making "spaghetti" with the play dough.

"It is but it's not hard to remind yourself that he isn't exactly the person you are romantically involved with. So it doesn't feel like I'm baby-talking my adult boyfriend", Kyoya responded, quiet enough for Kaoru not to hear from his distance away from them. "So please don't suggest anything horrid".

"I was just asking… ".

"You love to twist my words. Don't deny it".

"Whatever… can you come and help me with something", Hikaru sternly stated (not asked) through tight lips and with narrow eyes.

"We'll be back in a second, Kaoru. There is juice in the fridge if you want to drink something".

"Okay", Kaoru responded absently, too invested in his playdough worms (formerly spaghetti).

Kyoya turned back to Hikaru and followed him out of the room and into the living room next door. Hikaru leaned against the wall with his arms crossed. He closed his eyes and sighed to mentally prepare himself before he looked at Kyoya again and said:

"So?"

"So what? Did you expect me to 'confess' something disgusting now when he isn't close by?"

"I'm already past that last topic. I'm talking about that fucking favor I owe you. We live here now so please just tell me".

"Have you really been this worked up about it? What exactly are you expecting me to make you do? Kill somebody?"

"Of course not", Hikaru huffed but was unable to look him in the eye. "So what's my poison?"

"I thought about it a lot. Initially I had no idea what to do since you were the one to suggest this, not me. I knew this was my only chance of convincing you to do something to help yourself- ".

"Wait, what?"

"-but how was beyond me. Obviously, a good psychologist is exactly what you need to help sort out your mind and fears. However, since the world is like it is, many professionals turn away zeros because their opinions are worth more than the reason why they have the jobs they have; to help people. Hiding your status won't help either since it would force you to hide and lie too much for the help to even work… but I have searched a lot and done my research to not only find someone who accepts zero patients, but is also truly open-minded. Not someone who is just accepting zeros to appear more progressive.

"It took a while since it was hard to come by any well-reviewed professionals since many don't want to be known as a 'zero lover'. Just because it can ruin a reputation. In my search, I did find someone who was highly recommended by a few zeros online as long as you aren't too open about the fact that she knows you're a zero. I know it's not the best option but it's what we have and-".

"Wait, hold on… my favor to you is… seeing a shrink? … for my sake?" Hikaru asked, disbelieving what he was hearing.

"Yes. You will definitely improve at least a little from being away from the base and not taking the serum, but it won't be enough. One day you need a life, your own life. You need to be able to go to school, have a career, have friends, a girlfriend… a life that isn't about being alone, angry and paranoid for the rest of your days. You'll always have Kaoru but he needs to have his own life too, a life you can't always follow and you shouldn't be left behind by time. Obviously, I can't force you to open up to a stranger but I can't just stand by, watching you deteriorate, without doing anything. I have this card with her na… Hikaru?"

Hikaru was shaking and his lips were quivering. With labored breaths he almost fell down to his knees like he had done before but Kyoya grabbed his arms and hoisted him up so he was leaning his body weight against him; too weak to stand up by himself.

"Please don't kneel before me again. It was very weird last time", Kyoya almost pleaded.

Hikaru grabbed Kyoya's arms too as tears started to fall freely from his wide eyes.

"You're not having a panic attack, are you?" Kyoya inquired, alarmed and Hikaru vehemently shook his head, showing that he was still connected to the world. "I'm not letting go of you before your legs work again, got it? I don't want you to try to promise me things again because I have no idea what to come up with next".

"I-I -".

"Breathe! Don't pass out! I don't understand how I made this happen. Do you hate the idea of going to a psychologist so badly?"

"N-no".

"Let's sit down on the couch, okay? I really don't have the muscle mass to hold you up for long".

"T-time to go t-to the g-gym?" Hikaru couldn't keep himself from teasing and the tone was oddly lacking the same spite and hatred that was always directed at Kyoya.

The young doctor just smiled at him as an answer before pulling Hikaru towards the couch and lowered them both until they sat down on the comfortable surface. Kyoya let go of Hikaru who proceeded to cry and sob for a while. Every time he tried to say something he always started to cry harder. Kyoya had no idea what to do other than wait for Hikaru to be out of tears and ready to explain what in the world was going on. This was odd to him, reminiscent of the time he had stopped Hikaru from taking his own life but without the same amount of fear about saying the wrong thing. Obviously, this situation didn't require the same carefulness, urgency and smoothness of course, but it still evoked a similar type of feeling from Kyoya.

"You are very unpredictable", Kyoya told him after the faucets were turned off and Hikaru was just breathing heavily to catch his breath. "You react in ways I never expect you to".

"More cruel than you expect me to be?" Hikaru sourly asked while sniffling.

"Not every time. I don't think you're cruel now".

"You didn't expect me to invade your privacy by going into your dreams… ".

"I didn't expect you to try to commit suicide either. Like I said, not everything you do is cruel".

"But I am cruel a lot of the time… towards everyone, especially you", Hikaru pointed out with a smile that looked so sad that it almost felt like he was wearing a translucent mask with a happy face drawn on it.

Kyoya remained silent. He had the desire to try to comfort Hikaru but the only words he could think of were lies and he had the feeling that he needed to wait and listen to whatever Hikaru needed to ease off his heart.

"You didn't tattle on me… you saved my life… you are still trying to save me… oh God… ".

"Hikaru… ".

"You do care about me… you actually do… why?"

"I guess I started to stop seeing you as a 'boyfriend's crazy family' and instead started to see you more through Kaoru's eyes. You aren't some bad insane person, you're lost and need help and kindness".

"But I haven't shown you any kindness… ".

"But you still can. I think you're capable if you remove all the bad things holding you back".

"Do I deserve to get a chance at getting better though? Haven't I done too much damage?"

"Honestly? I have no idea. I'm not exactly known for cutting out people who deserve it. That's why you need to prove to me and Kaoru that you can get better. Because I might not be able to cut you out for his sake, but he'll probably be able to do that one day after realizing that Rai and Duncan didn't deserve to be in his life. I think you know that".

"I do… ".

"So prove that you can be good, prove that you won't hurt Kaoru… or me also, preferably".

Hikaru chuckled before rubbing his sore and red eyes.

"I had to go through that too", Kyoya added. "I haven't always been as good as I should have been, but I have worked hard, still do, on myself to be a good person for Kaoru, my friends and for myself… if me putting myself as a comparison is even helpful to you… ".

"It might just be", Hikaru mumbled to Kyoya's astonishment. "You have been better for Kaoru than me… ".

"Are you going to make him see that you can be just as good then?"

"... where is that card?"

Kyoya handed Hikaru the psychologist's card and he looked at it for a minute before putting it down in his pocket.

They waited there without needing to say anything more as Hikaru calmed himself down a little more. Then they finally re-entered the kitchen again where Kaoru was still playing.

"Take the playdough out of your mouth!" Kyoya ordered sternly and Kaoru sheepishly complied.

---

"It's so cold in real life", Hikaru commented while looking up at the snowy sky.

"Cold enough to get you sick. If you're going to stay outside then at least come back and put on a jacket!" Kyoya called from the kitchen as he was typing away on his computer. "You too Kaoru!"

The twins were watching the snow with fascination in the backyard of the house. None of them wore much more than a shirt and pants.

"Don't worry!" Kaoru called back. "We're not staying out long. At least I won't, I don't think I like the cold very much".

"Well you have worn shorts for most of your life", Hikaru pointed out as the brothers moved towards the house again.

Kaoru had been pleasantly surprised that Kyoya had managed to convince Hikaru to talk to a professional. Hikaru wasn't opening up fully to her yet but he did complain to her about minor things in his life at least, which was a good start. The best part of the situation was that Hikaru was genuinely trying to be more friendly with Kyoya. He could still be a little rude sometimes but it was mostly out of old habit and oblivion. With the exception of those moments, Hikaru didn't misconstrue everything Kyoya said, complain, when he had to do something around the house, didn't shoot down everything Kyoya suggested or act disgusted with Kaoru being with Kyoya (unless they were too sweet to each other in front of him but Kaoru gave that a pass),

"By the way, I almost forgot. My sister says hi", Kyoya told the boys as soon as they were in the house again, in the middle of taking off their shoes.

"She knows we're here?" Kaoru asked, confused.

"She doesn't know too much, right?" Hikaru asked, sounding nonchalant like he was trying to give Kyoya the benefit of the doubt.

"She deserves to know how many people live here. She knows that I'm living with my boyfriend and his brother. Nothing else".

"Good. Nothing to worry about", Hikaru concluded as he went to the fridge and took out a banana.

You could hear that he was slightly skeptical but no one commented on it since Hikaru really was trying his best and didn't want to start a fight over his usually unfounded paranoia.

"So she knows that homos live here?" Kaoru teased and settled down next to Kyoya.

"She was actually pretty happy about it. Me being serious about someone I mean. I have talked to her about my partner as she talked about hers. Obviously, I didn't share much but enough for her to decide that you seem nice".

"It feels good being accepted by your only nice family member".

"Yes and you didn't have to work at all for it as opposed to me with your family", Kyoya murmured quietly to Kaoru who laughed.

"Do you even plan on… telling her more?"

"What do you mean? About your past? Your powers?"

"Yeah".

"That's a question you should direct at yourself since it's yours and Hikaru's decision whether to come out with that or not. I'll obviously support you whatever you choose".

"Do you think she would kick us out if she realized that we were zeros?" Hikaru interjected.

"I have legitimately no idea", Kyoya responded honestly. "We were raised in a zerophobic household… but it was also a homophobic one and she doesn't seem to mind when it comes to gay people. I do plan on trying to gouge where her feelings lay. Discreetly of course".

"Zerophobic? Never heard that before", Hikaru snorted. "I feel very special now".

"It's a coined term in the pro zero circles. It makes perfect sense", Kyoya pointed out.

Someone knocked on the door and the twins looked at Kyoya nervously.

"Who is that?" Hikaru asked Kyoya warily, prepared to hide.

"I haven't invited anyone over. Must either be one of Fuyumi's aquentencies, a neighbor or perhaps a door-to-door seller", Kyoya assured before standing up and walking over to the door.

He barely managed to unlock it before the door flew open, nearly hitting Kyoya straight in the face.

"Kyyyoyaa!" An obnoxious voice yelled, almost sounding like the person behind it was close to tears.

"Tamaki?" Kyoya said in astonishment that quickly turned into annoyance as the blonde male engulfed him in a loving hug. "Let go of me. Why are you here now? I thought you were back in Japan!"

"Apparently he thought that you giving him your new address meant that he could just show up. Also, we decided to travel again", a monotone female voice explained from behind Tamaki. "I'm sorry, I tried to hold him back but in the end, I just had to come along to make sure that he wouldn't make you kill him".

"I might not have been the one to kill him", Kyoya responded dryly and glanced at the direction of the two horrified boys, each equipped with some makeshift weapon. "It's just Tamaki and his fiancée Haruhi, you can calm down", he told them and they put down their items but still looked suspicious and concerned.

At the mention of other people in the house, Tamaki immediately let go of Kyoya and marched in the direction Kyoya was looking at. Kyoya cursed and locked the door after a stunned Haruhi entered the warmth.

"I didn't know he had friends over. Why didn't you invite us too, Kyoya!? Are you replacing us?" He cried, forgetting that Kyoya didn't even know that he was back in America in the first place.

"They live here", Kyoya corrected through pressed teeth and hurried to go and stand beside the two freaked-out zeros. "Tamaki, this wasn't how I wanted this to go, but this Kaoru", he introduced cautiously while gesturing towards his boyfriend.

The newly arrived couple was completely still for a moment to process. Or Tamaki needed a little longer than a moment. Haruhi realized what was going on pretty quickly in comparison.

"Oh, so this is your boyfriend, right? And this is his brother?" She asked while reaching out her hand towards the closest twin. "Like he said previously, I'm Haruhi".

"H-Hikaru", Hikaru said and hesitantly took her hand (this was the first time he was touching a girl around his age, just a little older, and he was so lost).

Her pleasant smile faltered when she noticed the appearance of his fingers but it returned when she saw the insecure look on his face. She let go of him and had enough time to greet Kaoru the same way and make an ice breaker before Tamaki finally snapped out of it.

"You're his boyfriend?"

"Haruhi just said that", Hikaru pointed out while looking worried about Tamaki's mind.

"Kyoya is so cute when he talks about you!" Tamaki exclaimed like he hadn't heard Hikaru.

Kaoru smirked at an embarrassed Kyoya who looked like he wanted to throw Tamaki out of the window.

"Well he is cute", Kaoru responded cockily.

"You're also a zero! The first one I've ever met! You're so tiny!"

"Ehm… thank you?" Kaoru responded tentatively and Kyoya harshly elbowed Tamaki in the side, causing the blond male to loudly yelp.

"Why!?"

"You are being rude", Haruhi told him sternly and he started to apologize profusely with wide eyes.

"Also. First ones", Hikaru corrected while chastely showing off his mangled fingers as nonchalantly as he could. "We're probably not the first ones either. Just the first ones who aren't hiding it from you".

"That could be true", Haruhi agreed. "We would never know. Why didn't you tell us that you weren't living alone, Kyoya?"

"Because I knew Tamaki would want to come over immediately and I wanted to give the boys a little longer to get used to things".

"That sounds fair", Haruhi shrugged and Tamaki complained about how Kyoya dares to hide things from him. "But it makes it worse now, us visiting without notice, since we probably caused some distress".

"Perhaps but now the boys can learn how to socialize at least".

"We aren't inept", Kaoru chimed in. "We knew people at the base".

"Not people like Tamaki… or girls. Just look at Hikaru right now".

"No, don't look at Hikaru right now", Hikaru disagreed, flustered.

"But still", Kyoya looked at Tamaki. "Warn before coming over next time. For their sake. Understood?"

Tamaki nodded violently, afraid to say something really offensive if he dared to open his mouth again.

The initial awkwardness lasted for the first hour before everyone started to become more relaxed with each other. Hikaru even managed to dare to ask Haruhi about how to talk to girls, which surprised Kyoya a great deal.

Tamaki and Haruhi were clearly intrigued by the twins. The brothers acted so normal yet so clueless about the world and Kyoya could understand the fascination. It was just too bad that Tamaki wasn't as discreet as he probably thought that he was and both Kyoya and Haruhi had to correct him many times when he stared too much. Especially at the exposed scars on Kaoru's hands.

"Are zeros really stereotyped as really tall?" Kaoru quietly asked Kyoya but, from the way Tamaki's cheeks were turning pink, it wasn't quiet enough. "He was so surprised that I was short".

"No, and I'm not sure what he thought that you would look like. He knows my type", Kyoya said just as (not) quietly, catching on that Kaoru was intentionally doing this.

"Yeah. We're lucky that zeros aren't much taller than other people or you would never have wanted me in the first place", Kaoru teased with a flirty smirk and Tamaki buried his face in the couch's armrest while mumbling about Kaoru being evil.

"I might have still gone for an ass like that", Kyoya teased back and Tamaki groaned loudly, causing vibrations to go through the armrest.

"What are you talking about over there?" Haruhi asked and both her and Hikaru looked at them with furrowed brows.

"Just about the romantic tale of how we met", Kaoru innocently replied, making Tamaki groan even louder.

---

All five of them celebrated Christmas together. Not in a very traditional way since they just decided to have dinner together at Kyoya's before Tamaki and Haruhi would go back to Japan early the next day.

Kyoya, Tamaki and Haruhi agreed to not buy anything remotely expensive in favor of not making the twins uncomfortable. They even decided to go together to buy one gift from all three of them to the redheads; a sewing kit and some recommended fabrics (even if Tamaki could afford that no problem on his own). The gift did overwhelm the twins still and it took a few minutes of arguing and assuring before they accepted it with the promise of sewing things for them… Kyoya really needed to have a stern talk with Hikaru about him not needing to promise favors all the time (even if he wasn't on his knees this time around).

The twins had shyly given gifts Kyoya had recommended and luckily Tamaki didn't accidentally make them feel bad about the cheapness of it… but instead he almost hugged the twins to death, the first time he had ever hugged them and Kyoya had to tear him away and tell him to not be too handsy with his boyfriend. Which made Tamaki freak out and vehemently apologize to both Kaoru and Haruhi for the supposed inappropriate touching. Hikaru had not been amused that he was left out of that apology.

Kaoru did switch twice during their celebrations. Kyoya had warned the other couple about Kaoru's condition without sharing more details than Kaoru was comfortable with right now, but this was the first time Kaoru switched to a very noticeable age. He had been 17 before around them but otherwise they had managed to plan visits around his condition.

The first time Kaoru switched that day was from young teenager to 18 (his rudeness when he opened and slammed the door in Haruhi's and Tamaki's face at the beginning of the social event had been quite the shock), but now he was a toddler again.

"Why is he crying!? I don't know what I did!?" Tamaki exclaimed and the terrified Kaoru only cried harder and tried to disappear into the couch. "What do I do!?"

"He isn't the same age, I've explained this", Kyoya reminded him and Kaoru seemed to ease up when he saw Kyoya. "You are strangers to him now. No, don't try to soothe him yet Hikaru. Let's try to make him more comfortable with Tamaki first… but please lower your voice".

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Kaoru", Tamaki begged for forgiveness.

"Change to Japanese and he might understand you enough to forgive you", Hikaru helpfully told him. "He doesn't remember English when he is that young since we still lived in Japan back then".

"What!?"

"So you both are from Japan too?" Haruhi asked.

"Yep".

"Why have we been speaking English this whole time then?"

"We have spoken English for so many years that we, or at least I, are very self conscious about speaking it with others".

"Then we will make you less self conscious by only speaking Japanese around you!" Tamaki dramatically announced in Japanese.

"Oh God".

"Who is this, Hikaru?" Kaoru asked his twin with a quiet and coy tone, a little bit more confident now when he realized that he could understand the weird blond man.

"This dumb-dumb is Kyoya's best friend for some reason and that is Haruhi".

"Hi, Kaoru", Haruhi softly greeted. "I'm sorry if we scared you. He is especially sorry, he can be a little much, right?"

"I am very sorry", Tamaki agreed, sounding more mature than Hikaru had ever seen him be and it gave him whiplash. "I didn't realize how uncomfortable I made you. Can we be friends?"

Kaoru glances at Kyoya who nodded with a smile to show that it was okay before hesitantly sitting up straight and wrapping his arms around a now stiff and confused Tamaki. It didn't take long before he relaxed and welled up with tears. He hugged Kaoru back and proclaimed how adorable and sweet the younger male was.

"I suppose he thought you were sad… or maybe he thinks this is how you make amends", Hikaru thought out loud, a little distressed over not understanding the situation at all.

"He is so cute!" Was Tamaki's response and Kaoru blushed.

"Careful there", Kyoya said to him with a smile that was clearly a facade for something much more threatening.

Tamaki looked frightened and gently let go of Kaoru who was too oblivious to realize what was going on. Kyoya sat down next to Kaoru and ruffled his hair.

"I didn't know it was like this", Haruhi mused. "This big I mean. I've never heard of people actually switching age like this. This is a zero alignment, right?"

"He is the only one who is like that", Hikaru corrected defensively. "It's not normal for zeros either".

"I apologize if I was too nosy or disrespectful".

"It's fine I guess… you weren't wrong that this can't happen to someone who is a non zero, but it's something that can't happen to me either. Every zero power can backfire if you mix with their minds too much I suppose. Since he is a memory zero the douches at the base fu-messed up his memory-", Hikaru corrected his curse word last minute when he remembered that, even if Kaoru was distracted by Kyoya, he was still present. "So now he is going back and forth between his ages, his memories".

"That's horrible", Haruhi said sympathetically and Tamaki looked horrified.

"Are you sure that you're allowed to tell them his business?" Kyoya asked while rubbing a tired Kaoru's back as he was yawning and falling asleep on him.

"Kaoru would have told them about this himself. He trusts your judgement when it comes to friends… maybe not when it comes to partners but these two seem fine".

"I get it, Hikaru".

"He is a memory zero?" Tamaki asked, letting his curiosity win.

Hikaru decided to let Tamaki and Haruhi know for the first time what him and Kaoru could do and some facts that people usually got wrong about people like them (for example explaining that most zeros were not attack zeros).

"There really are all kinds of powers. I always knew that there was variation but if going through people's memories or dreams are examples… ", Haruhi breathes out.

"You realize how many different kinds of zeros there are out there now when you realize that not all of us are shooting lasers out of our eyes or starting fires?"

"I'm sorry… is he really asleep?"

"Children need naps", Kyoya shrugged while not looking away from his sleeping boyfriend who held onto his arm for dear life as he snoozed softly.

"So so cute".

"Tamaki".

"I'm sorry. I know, your boyfriend".

"You can't prevent Kaoru from hugging him and such though", Hikaru mockingly pointed out to lightheartedly get under Kyoya's skin. "He is only your boyfriend when he is 18, remember? Why are you even jealous? Tamaki is already in a relationship".

"Yes but-".

"He doesn't want to risk Kaoru wanting to be around Tamaki more than him", Haruhi reasoned and Kyoya glared at her like she had betrayed him. "It's adorable".

"Kyoya is also so cuute".

"Tamaki!"

"Hush", Kaoru mumbled, exhausted, and held his finger in front of lips before going back to sleep again.

The others chuckled.

"At least he doesn't seem to be a difficult child… ", Haruhi commented.

"We raise him right", Hikaru joked and Kyoya stared at him with a mixture of amusement and confusion.

"So, you're parenting together?"

"Please don't. He is my boyfriend", Kyoya pleaded and she chuckled.

Kaoru stayed a toddler for the rest of the evening but it was still a pleasant time for all, even when he woke up a little groggy and grumpy.

When Kyoya tucked him into bed he wasn't the only one of the twins who slept like a content baby that night.

---

"I miss summer already", Kaoru sighed as he and the other two were trying to shovel snow from the driveway.

"It's not even that much snow. Be glad we're not living in Northern Europe", Kyoya shot back.

"Stop complaining or he might be able to conjure up more snow just to piss us off", Hikaru joked and Kyoya did throw all the snow in his shovel at him, which made Kaoru laugh so hard that he was unable to breathe properly.

After an impromptu snowball fight that ended with more snow on the driveway and Kaoru being pushed down to the ground and having a snowman's worth of snow shoved into his jacket through the neck hole, they called it quits and returned to the house.

Kaoru was currently taking a hot bath while Hikaru was watching something on Kyoya's computer. The younger twin smiled up at Kyoya who entered the bathroom with a cup full of tea.

"You really know how to treat a man", Kaoru smiled and took the offered cup, drawing in a deep sniff of the steam.

"Can't have you turning sick can I?" Kyoya chuckled but the melancholic frown on Kaoru's face made him stop. "What's the matter?"

"I don't want to sour the mood… ".

"And I don't want to worry about whatever you're not telling me".

Kaoru sighed. "It's just… same old to be honest. I just realized that… When I was at the base, I was beaten up several times, almost killed, a part of a group that was easily sexually abused by others, almost kidnapped during a mission and tortured… I had many moments when I was considered weak… but it's now, when the worst that can happen is that I can get a simple cold, that I do feel really weak. Now when I'm just some little vulnerable thing who doesn't do anything with the little strength I have".

"You are feeling useless again", Kyoya stated sadly and absently started to massage Kaoru's scalp with one hand. "I wish I could take these feelings away from you. I wish you could see how much you lighten up mine and Hikaru's days. How much you help us. And most of all, I hope you find self-worth away from what you used to do. I'm sorry that I can't do anything".

Kaoru grabbed Kyoya's hand, pulled it from his hair and to his own face before nuzzling into it and pressing a kiss to his palm.

"I want to see myself the way you want me to, I do", Kaoru promised. "But I just can't. You know that my life was only important when I was of use. Retirement always felt akin to death, the end of that life. I think I assumed that I would see this life as the afterlife where I would lose all those needs and insecurities. I guess in a way I feel dead, because what used to be my life is over. It's not that dramatic though. But all of the shit I thought would disappear is still here. Like there was no ending after all. I'm just supposed to keep going. I know I'm lucky. I have you, I have Hikaru… ".

"But you don't know who you are so you don't have yourself", Kyoya finished for him and Kaoru chortled.

"It sounds so corny and dramatic when you say it like that".

"You are allowed to have an identity crisis. You don't have to know everything right now, especially when you're still healing. You haven't been out of the base nearly long enough to know who you are and what your place in the world is. Truth be told, I still have no idea about me. At least I didn't until I decided to join the pro zero movement".

"... perhaps I should do that too? At least when I'm more confident that my condition won't fuck things up? I feel like I should do something now when I'm not being someone's bitch anymore".

"Well, you're technically my-".

Kaoru splashed water at Kyoya who only laughed and splashed some back.

"But that does sound like a good idea. It's good that you see something in your future".

"Yeah, I guess that's something", Kaoru sighed and closed his eyes.

Kyoya leaned down and rested his forehead against Kaoru's for a few seconds before placing a few kisses all across his face, making the younger male giggle.

"You're ridiculously adorable when you're affectionate like this".

"Never ever tell Tamaki or Haruhi about this. They have no idea".

"I think I can guess why from what I've seen of Tamaki. It feels like he is gonna try and adopt me someday because I'm 'such a cute kid'".

"That does sound like him".

Their intertwined hands rested on Kaoru's chest. Kaoru looked like he was contemplating something before he finally decided to share.

"I might as well ask you about this now since I believe you can be more objective than Hikaru. The incident was in the files about me, the ones I made you read".

"What incident?"

"I got angered by some guys trying to annoy me… I attacked them with a metal pipe. Real or fake?"

"Ehm… oh, I think I know what you're talking about. It's real, at least the part about you hurting them with a metal pipe, but you have the reasons behind it wrong".

"I do?" Kaoru prompted, trying not to sound too hopeful yet.

"The reason that case is featured so prominently in your file is because it's one of those cases that leads to changes. Not unlike those cases in court that change the law or at least how to interpret it. Do you remember what changed after the incident?"

"... Not directly after am I afraid".

"They decided to hide your zero status from the other Boys after that because they didn't want them to know who the serum came from", Kyoya recalled and Kaoru sat up straighter in the tub to take a clearer look at him, searching for any signs of lies but finding none.

"They attacked me for the same reason Jiro did… ".

"Exactly, they wanted to punish you for them going insane. Which wasn't your fault, the scientists should have revoked the serum if it was damaging the participants. It wasn't your responsibility", Kyoya reminded him as he was worried about Kaoru's current mental state and his ability to blame himself for things he didn't do.

"Hikaru was honest about them provoking me… but I scarred Monty, probably did worse to the others".

"And they would have done far worse than that to you", Kyoya pointed out, squeezing Kaoru's hand harder. "They would have killed you, Monty would have tried to kill you at the home again if you hadn't been stronger than him. They shouldn't have attacked you. You defended yourself. Both times. Yes, you roughed them up but you needed to make sure that they would stay away from you. You did good, that's something Hikaru and I will always agree on".

"Well I do love when my two favorite boys get along", Kaoru joked. "But thank you for helping me sort out this too. Even if I am a little horrified at the fact that I still managed to hurt them like that… but it's still a huge relief that it was self-defense".

"That's a victory", Kyoya told him before pressing his lips against Kaoru's in a more comforting, rather than sexual, kiss.

He knew that he hadn't managed to get rid of the worst of Kaoru's burden, but he sure as hell wasn't going to give up. Never on Kaoru.