Zero

by TheBordelineNonAlcoholicWriter

Many people were suddenly born with strange powers they have to pay a painful price for. Like humans do when something happens that they don't understand, they try to get rid of what they see as a threat... or use it to their advantage, and maybe that's even worse. What could be the next step in the evolution is used to further ta us back. (Updated description)

21. Chapter 21 Ageha

A/N: Second to last chapter! And a new player has arrived.

---

Chapter 21. Ageha.

Hikaru officially started his first part-time job at 19 after a failed attempt at 18 when he had to hide in the toilet on his first day to prevent himself from yelling at a particularly nasty customer. He had a lot of anxiety over it but was ultimately extremely proud of himself for helping Kyoya bring in money to the household, to earn his own, and he felt better after getting into a routine again. He also started to study when he was almost 20, with courses made to give him a basic education that could later help him get into higher education.

Kaoru wasn't able to start his studies until he was almost 24, and only after years of fighting with the system to prove that he could do it and that waiting wasn't an option. It was eventually decided that he was allowed to study, but not full time since his younger selves couldn't keep up as much. He had yet to be allowed a job but to keep him busy Kyoya had helped him find places where he could volunteer, but it only did little for his mental health.

The feeling of being useless just grew with the years. Partly because of a reason he was utterly ashamed of; Hikaru's constant improvements. Of course, Kaoru was immensely proud of all of Hikaru's accomplishments, but the way he was constantly moving faster than Kaoru made him feel horrible about his own situation. The worst part was that at least some of the jealousy stemmed from how used Kaoru was to be seen as the better and more handy one of the brothers. Now when the roles had switched he didn't know what to do or what was the correct way to feel about it. The amount of guilt over his jealousy made him also reluctant to properly open up, but his distress was obvious enough for his housemates to realize that he was very unhappy about his place in the world.

The younger twin was currently doing the dishes. Kyoya and the twins were still staying in the same house since Kyoya's sister did stay with her guy and eventually got married (Kyoya wasn't present at the wedding despite her pleas). Due to Kaoru's feeling of inadequacy he had picked up most of the housework despite the other's assurance that he didn't need to. With the exception of his part-time studying, hanging out with Kyoya or his friends and brother, he didn't have much else giving him a routine. Though the part about hanging out with friends wasn't as fun nowadays. Temporarily of course since it wasn't that long ago that Hikaru broke up with Lucy.

They started an on-and-off relationship stretched out over a couple of years. Hikaru had finally lost his virginity (which he announced loud and proud when he came home that evening) and he really liked her but it was for the best that it ended. Don't misunderstand, Kaoru liked Lucy but the nature of hers and Hikaru's relationship had made his feelings about her sour a bit. However, the reason as to why it ended wasn't related to Kaoru's feelings about it. No, it was the question Kyoya had asked Hikaru: "Is this someone you can tell about what you are? Is she someone who would be okay with having a man she can't marry?" Since Hikaru couldn't produce a yes to either one he finally decided that they couldn't continue. Kaoru didn't know Lucy well enough to know what exactly Hikaru had seen or heard that would make him believe that she wouldn't be okay with a future with someone like him, but he didn't pry. Rather he thought it was mature for Hikaru to make that choice, but he also felt sorry for him. Kaoru was extremely lucky to have Kyoya; someone who knew exactly what he was in for and still stayed. He hoped Hikaru would be that lucky too one day.

Someone walked into the kitchen and Kaoru felt arms around his waist. He raised an eyebrow and turned around.

"I thought you had work today".

"And I would have told you yesterday that I would be free… ".

"But it also happened to be the same day the toys came?"

"It also happened to be the same day the toys came… It's the toddler version of you that should come out soon, right? Hikaru is eating lunch at work, maybe I can take you to McDonald's?"

"Younger me would like that, but I can still cook if you don't want to risk having me embarrassing you at a restaurant you don't even like".

Most of the time, Kaoru only dared to cook quick meals so as to not cause any accidents by switching. With someone present, or if he was at the beginning of being at an older age, he dared to put a little more time and care into the meals.

"I can easily tell that toddler you miss Mcdonalds. I don't need to order anything, I still have my lunch that I was supposed to eat today".

"Well, how can I not say yes to my boyfriend taking me out for such a fancy feast", he teased and yelped as Kyoya tickled his sides in response. "I'll finish up here, don't distract me. I don't have much "adult time" left".

"Then I'll be back and check up on you in a bit", Kyoya promised and kissed his cheek before letting go.

The older male went over to the fridge, with a yawn escaping his lips, and took out the aforementioned lunch and went to his office to get some work done from home. At least that's what Kaoru assumed that he did. He didn't care to ask.

Kaoru finished doing the dishes, cleaned up and responded to a message from Brooks asking if Kyoya was "so much" older than Kaoru because they started off in a sugar baby/sugar daddy arrangement (to which Kaoru was tempted to answer yes) before he finally switched. He felt hungry and was confused that there was no food so he decided to look around the house for anyone to explain this crime.

Pretty early in his search, he went to the office when he heard someone move in there. Not even bothering to knock, he opened the door and saw Kyoya about to stand up from his chair. Kyoya turned to look at him and had to hold back laughter from seeing the angry pout on his boyfriend's face. It didn't matter how long Kaoru had been like this, he still managed to either amuse or bemuse him in either the same way over and over or in completely new ways.

"I was just about to come and get you. Do you want to go to McDonald's for lunch?"

Kaoru's face immediately lit up and he nodded vehemently with a big and excited grin. Kyoya could admit that he did love to make Kaoru happy when he was a child. Of course, he loved making Kaoru happy at any age but giving Kaoru a much better and loving childhood was definitely a worthwhile experience.

After helping an overexcited Kaoru to put on his shoes and jacket, they left for a certain McDonald's that had been chosen by Kyoya a long time ago to be toddler Kaoru's. It took some time to get there but Kaoru could be unapologetically childlike and wouldn't have to be embarrassed if older him decided that he wanted to eat their food since he would prefer to go to a restaurant that was closer. Of course, Kyoya received a lot of unwanted attention regardless but he could handle it. Besides, most people at the usual McDonald's place had started to believe that Kaoru had some intellectual disability and that Kyoya was his helper. Kyoya had never denied anything since... What else was he supposed to say?

It was actually helpful for people to believe those assumptions. The staff was very nice towards Kaoru as an effect. As soon as he and Kyoya stepped into the store, the younger male received a lot of greetings and smiles. Some of the customers gave him and the interactions funny looks, but Kaoru and Kyoya just continued with their day like nothing was off.

Just as Kyoya had said, he didn't order anything but he did sit in front of Kaoru in their booth and listened to the younger male's "fascinating" thoughts and stories. Funny enough, some children looked at Kaoru with jealousy because he had two happy meals (one wasn't enough for his adult body). Kyoya had to, for the second time that day, hold back his amusement.

"Can I ask something?" Kaoru asked.

His eyes were glued on the next happy meal he was about to unpack so Kyoya wasn't particularly worried about him asking something serious, like why some adults were glaring.

"Of course", Kyoya smiled. "What is it?"

"Why didn't you go to your sister's wedding?" He asked and Kyoya cursed himself for still always forgetting how blunt children could be without any warning.

"So, you learned about that?" Kyoya asked after sighing, not seeing the point in denying that he didn't go since Kaoru wouldn't be happy with him lying.

"Yes. You said she was nice. Why didn't you go? Is it because of me?"

"No. Why would you think it was because of you? Never think that".

Kaoru looked down at his lap.

"Because I know my illness makes you stressed. At least when I'm little".

"I promise you it has nothing to do with you. If I really wanted to go you would just have had to be alone with Hikaru for a few days or a caretaker. Maybe I could have gotten Tamaki and Haruhi to stay with you as well. I would have figured something out".

Kaoru looked up again with a frown, yet Kyoya could tell that he was relieved that he wasn't the issue.

"You didn't want to go?"

"I didn't. You're right, I did say that she is nice, but she needed to invite people that are not so nice and I didn't want to see them or cause a commotion on her special day".

"So, you didn't want to meet the bad people? Why are they bad?"

Older Kaoru already knew the answer even without Kyoya telling him since it was apparent that Kyoya wasn't particularly close with his family. So, Kyoya had never prepared himself to have this conversation.

"My sister is the only one from my family that is nice, the rest have been bad people to me and would be bad to you too. I'm happier being home with you and Hikaru".

"My family is bad to me too. I understand", Kaoru said and sneaked his hand under the table to grab Kyoya's. "I think my grandpa wanted to kill me".

He whispered that part like it was a huge secret and Kyoya was taken aback by it. Kyoya hadn't been unaware of the fact that the twins had been literally tortured by their grandfather, but it broke his heart that Kaoru saw it like that.

"You're safe with me", Kyoya told Kaoru and massaged the back of his hand with his thumb.

Instinctively, he wanted to kiss it too but instead let go after a few seconds.

"And I will try to always be good to you", Kaoru promised back and Kyoya promptly shook his head.

"You make it sound like you'll be terrified to make mistakes. Just be yourself and you'll always be much, much better than all those bad people", Kyoya told him soothingly and some of Kaoru's smile returned to his face. "I like the way you are".

"Hikaru too?"

"Not as much", Kyoya deadpanned and Kaoru started to laugh.

Kyoya had to prevent Kaoru from putting a French fry in his mouth while he was doing it and Kaoru lowered his hand and silently thanked him.

When Kaoru had stopped shaking with laughter, he dipped the French fry in way too much ketchup and put it in his mouth. At first, he looked delighted like usual but then his smile dropped as his face started to twitch.

"Do you feel the need to sneeze?" Kyoya gently teased with a small chuckle.

Kaoru's face twitched more violently for a few more seconds without him giving Kyoya any response. Just as Kyoya was about to worry that something was terribly wrong, a look of pure disgust took over Kaoru's face and it looked like he wanted to spit it out, but forced himself to swallow instead.

"Too much ketchup is bad enough… but McDonald's ketchup is something else entirely. Why the hell does it taste so weird?"

Kyoya's eyebrows raised in appalment and he quickly looked around to make sure that no one had noticed how the Japanese child-like man was suddenly not so child-like and could speak perfect English.

"You're not supposed to switch yet and lower your voice, please. Are you 15 now? How?"

"You're still my boyfriend, are you not? I sensed a date and here I am".

"I'm 32 now so that's not appropriate and I still want to know how you managed to switch like that?" Kyoya asked while picking up the last of Kaoru's happy meal (and both toys of course).

"Well you still look really good", Kaoru said cheekily.

Kyoya stood up, grabbed Kaoru's hand and pulled him from his seat and out of the door.

"Are we in a hurry!?" Kaoru exclaimed annoyingly when they were outside.

He looked less annoyed when Kyoya handed him his happy meal back.

"I take you here specifically because they think you are developmentally delayed-".

"Why wasn't I told about that before?" Kaoru asked but looked more amused than offended.

"It never came up but that's not what's of importance here. You switched early".

"Yeah, a few minutes or an hour early?"

"Hours. Plural. Hours early".

Now Kaoru finally seemed to understand the seriousness of what he had done.

"Really? That's amazing! … or is it? Please don't tell me that this means that every age can force itself to appear now".

His face fell. Kyoya wrapped his arm around him and rubbed his shoulder. Some people gave them looks but with the years Kyoya had stopped accepting that he needed to live in fear all the time. Kaoru was hesitant to the change at first but Kyoya's confidence once again helped him gain some of his own. They were still careful with where they showed affection and for how long they did it. Some fear was still persistent but, hopefully, it would subside with time.

"I wish I could give you a positive answer but it's honestly too early for anyone to know. However, we shouldn't jump to conclusions and worry without knowing. This could be a massive improvement".

"If only the older ages can make their appearances early. If all ages can do it or just the age I am now, what if I get stuck at 16 and forget all eight years that have passed?"

"Then we'll make new memories and handle it then", Kyoya said and hugged him closer.

Kaoru forced him to stop so they could properly look at each other.

"Would that really be okay? Wouldn't they pull me out of school and force us to start over again? Wouldn't too many of my memories disappear for me to be able to be friends with my group? Won't you miss the years of maturity I gained?"

"I considered the possibility of you staying at a young age years ago. I don't think that will happen but I am already prepared. I have told you this many times and I'll continue to tell you as many times as you need: I'm not going anywhere. I still love you and I will continue to do so".

"God, it must be so tiresome for you to comfort and assure me all the time", Kaoru lamented but had genuine relief in his eyes as he wrapped one arm around Kyoya's back, starting to walk again.

"You assure me all the time too. Just not verbally… and for your information, you wouldn't lose that much maturity", Kyoya teased and Kaoru looked fake offended before chuckling. "Hikaru won't be home for a while, we can continue this "date" at home with a bottle of wine".

"Oh my, and I who are underage? Behave", Kaoru teased back and Kyoya snorted.

Kaoru received some odd looks in the liquor store while he carefully ate the rest of his happy meal in the wine aisle. Kyoya didn't need to look for long before he found their favorite bottle of red wine. They both went to check out and were asked to show ID.

"Are you pleased or offended that you still have to show ID at 30?" Kaoru asked as he was fumbling with his wallet with one hand.

"Both", Kyoya grumbled to Kaoru's amusement.

Kaoru finally managed to take his card out. Even if he had used the name for a while he still wasn't used to seeing his childhood surname. It had been a close call between choosing his own or Kyoya's but he decided on his own since choosing Kyoya's would just remind them that they wouldn't actually be married (and never could). Kyoya reminded him occasionally that he could still change it whenever he wanted and Kaoru suspected that it had something to do with some level of possessiveness. Which was more fun than anything else.

After getting their cards back, Kaoru managed to promptly drop his thanks to him, balancing an empty happy meal package in one hand and a thick wallet in the other. Could he have put the wallet in his pocket first? Yes, but this had worked before!

Before he could get his things in order and lean down to pick it up, a stranger was at it quicker. A slightly overweight middle-aged woman of Asian descent, with her grayish brown locks tied in a knot on top of her head, had already taken it with a kind smile on her face. She was just about to put it into his extended hand when her eyes skimmed the card. Her mouth dropped open in shock and she took a closer look before looking up at him and looking down at the card again. Kaoru felt very uneasy and creeped out at her reaction and he hoped that she didn't intend on stealing it or something.

"Ma'am, my card", Kaoru pushed slightly and Kyoya was finally paying attention to what was happening after finishing his purchase.

"Can we help you?" Kyoya asked (warned).

"Hitachiin", the woman finally said while looking straight into Kaoru's amber eyes. "It's a famous name".

"So I've heard", Kaoru chuckled, trying to play it off, as he was finally allowed to take his card back and put it away. "A coincidence".

But she shook her head and Kaoru's heart started to move uncomfortably in his chest.

"Not a coincidence. Your brother is Hikaru?"

Kaoru froze as he stared at her in disbelief. How did she know? How much did she know?

Neither twin had really thought much about what excuse their parents had for their supposedly permanent departure. Were Hikaru and Kaoru supposed to be dead? Locked up somewhere? Did they ever exist as far as the public was concerned? Kaoru really couldn't recall how much the public knew about him and his brother at the time… apparently something was known if this woman could recognize him even when he was over a decade older.

Kyoya was not amused at how she was scaring his boyfriend and put a protective arm around him. Just as he was about to tell her off the cashier politely asked them to stop standing in the way of the line. The woman gestures for the two men to follow her and they begrudgingly did but only until they were outside of the store.

"Who are you and what do you want with him and his brother?" Kyoya sternly asked her.

"Does Japanese work? Sorry I'm more comfortable talking Japanese, especially about this".

"That's fine", Kyoya assured with a frustrated groan, switching languages. "Now what do you want with him and what do you know?"

"Their mother was a famous designer, owning her own company".

"Was?" Kaoru repeated, still a bit detached from the shock so there was no emotion in his voice.

Her facial expression turned sympathetic and she was shifting weight between her feet nervously.

"I'm sorry but your parents passed away some time ago. I was under the impression that you would be aware of it… if you were alive of course, I wasn't sure".

"Oh", was Kaoru's only response.

If you had asked him previously how he would react to the news about his parents' deaths he would probably have responded that he would be very conflicted over it. Right now, he didn't feel much about it at all. It was almost like this woman had just told him that two strangers had died.

"I'm so, so sorry that I had to be the one to tell you about it", she continued, not noticing his indifference.

Her phone pinged and she picked it up and quickly wrote a message before putting it down in her skirt pocket again.

"How do you know about Kaoru and Hikaru? Did their parents tell you about them?" Kyoya proceeded to try to ask.

"They did!"

That seemed to shock Kaoru out of his statue-like state for a few seconds until he became downtrodden.

"Well, I can imagine that it's difficult to explain where your two sons disappeared to. What was their explanation?"

"I wasn't allowed to know. It was a sensitive matter".

"So, they didn't even try to come up with something?"

"You just have to ask the one person who knew them a little better about it".

"Whom?" Kaoru prompted but Kyoya stepped in.

"I'm sorry but we don't know who you are or what you are trying to accomplish. The Hitachiins haven't been a part of his life for over a decade. I assume you either worked or work for the estate and that you have some sort of curiosity, but the boys don't owe anyone anything and would prefer to keep their privacy".

Kyoya started to drag Kaoru away and the woman started to panic.

"No please, don't leave! Not yet! I have so much to explain but I think it's better if we wait for her!"

"Na, what the hell is going on?" The men stopped moving and turned around.

Kaoru was overwhelmed by feelings of deja vu when he came face to face with a young female with the same red hair and weirdly colored eyes as him. Honestly, for a moment he almost started to hyperventilate over the fear that him forcing himself to switch age had massively messed with his head and caused him to experience memories in real-time; that he was back in that 0 Light facility. However, that disappeared at the realization that Kyoya saw her too. At first, her eyes were filled with indifferent boredom and then she also took in all of the similarities between them.

When the shock disappeared, Kaoru felt rage burning inside of him. Perhaps he had been arrogant all these years to assume that his parents never tried to move on from their first two disappointments. Being faced with the proof of them doing just that stung in a way that it shouldn't have. He didn't want to care about this, they didn't deserve to still have this control over him, but here it was. The young girl, looking to be around 14 or 15, didn't seem to be harboring any anger whatsoever, on the other hand.

"Na? Is this-?"

"Kaoru, yes. This is one of your brothers. Kaoru, this is Ageha".

Ageha looked both flabbergasted and overjoyed while Kaoru was green in the face and trying to fight the urge to take the wine bottle from Kyoya and down it. Kyoya wasn't sure how to react to any of this. No, it wasn't surprising that the twins could have gotten a younger sibling during their time at the base, but since neither twin had ever approached that possibility it had never occurred to him either. He pushed away his own confusion for the sake of Kaoru since the younger male really needed him to help him out right now.

"This is the first time any of us have heard about a sister. Give him a moment".

"The boys weren't made aware of her either? Gosh, I am truly sorry for springing this upon you too", Na said, looking guilty.

Ageha still looked very upbeat about her new sibling.

"It's horrible that you learned about me like this but it's fine. I don't know much about you either. Sure mom and dad spoke about you two but you're not ten-year-olds anymore, so there is a lot more to know. Is Hikaru around?" She asked and looked past his shoulder to see if another red-headed twin would pop out of the store. "We have a lot of catching up to do".

"They talked about us?" Kaoru asked coldly and her excitement died down slightly at him not reacting the way she had expected. "I thought they would have done everything to keep up the illusion that we never existed".

"Wh-what? Of course you two came up. Sure you didn't come up often because it was a sore subject but I have always known that I had two older brothers out there… if you weren't-".

"Dead. Which was a huge possibility but mom and dad already knew that. I'm sometimes half-convinced that's the reason why they sent us away to begin with", Kaoru responded and Ageha's smile disappeared completely.

"Don't talk about them like that! They did what they needed to do and their decision killed them", she rebutted, offended and Kaoru became more irate.

"It must be nice to not have had to face who they really were. But then again, you are actually the child they had always wanted. Perfect from the start. I'm sorry to disappoint you but I'm not interested in being around someone who doesn't know what happened yet is still adamant that I don't know my own memories. Kyoya, let's just leave".

Kyoya blinked a couple of times and looked at him, confused and hesitant.

"Are you sure? I know this is difficult but I don't believe she is a bad person and you'll regret it if you cut her out so soon".

"My asshole parents' happy little ending is standing right in front of me and trying to convince me that Hikaru and I were raised by loving people who 'did what they needed to do'. That's bull and you know it", Kaoru shot back while starting to pull Kyoya away (Na was sputtering, trying time to come up with anything to make Kaoru stay). "She probably doesn't even know the real reason behind why we were sent away and wouldn't believe me anyway. And who am I to ruin her image of our parents anyway?"

"You are my brother", Ageha responded firmly, putting her foot down. "That's who you are and I do know why you were sent away. I know what you are".

Kaoru stopped and the couple stared at her wide-eyed. He couldn't comprehend it, he refused to believe it.

"But what else would she mean? Why would they ever tell her about that?" he thought.

Na looked a little confounded but was the only one who knew what to say.

"Perhaps we should find somewhere to sit and talk this through in a civil and calm manner?"

The siblings were silent during the walk. Kyoya conversed with Na occasionally about where to go and other things Kaoru wasn't really paying attention to. They decided to settle down at a small cafe with very few customers. Kaoru had since long discarded his happy meal (but he had put the toys in his pockets) and was sitting next to Kyoya, right in front of the women. He was looking down at the table while Ageha was openly staring at him.

"When you said that you knew what he was", Kyoya started to say and her attention went to him instead. "What exactly were you talking about? I need you to spell it out because this is not a matter that can afford misunderstandings".

"I mean the powers thing of course. I don't think it's a good idea for me to be more specific even if we aren't speaking English. You never know".

"You are oddly calm about this".

"I have known about it since I was young so… ".

"You know they emotionally abused Hikaru and me for it, right?" Kaoru couldn't help but ask and Kyoya could clearly tell that he didn't see a reason to try to have a relationship with his sister; no sugar coating or room left for discussion.

"... I know it was difficult for them to accept you two for that reason but they have always been very loving parents to me. I'm sorry if it's hard for me to believe what you're claiming. Especially since you haven't known them for, soon, two decades".

Kyoya became quite irritated now. He understood that she was learning so many new things about her parents at once, things that contradicted her own experiences, but he started to be annoyed with how she was invalidating Kaoru's feelings and memories. Especially after her comment about Kaoru misremembering the abuse because it happened so long ago.

"I don't think your experiences as someone seen as 'good' by society invalidates Kaoru's experiences as someone seen as 'bad' by society. Your parents could have been kind to you, but they were extremely unkind to him and Hikaru. I understand that you have a hard time taking this in, and that you're young, but it's vastly disrespectful of you to question him like that".

"Do you even know where they sent us after we failed at running away? Did they ever tell you what they said to us or what they allowed other people to do to us?" Kaoru continued. "Was grandad treating you like a princess? And I suppose his new wife Daisy? You know that he stripped me naked, threw me out in the snow and poured water on me to 'treat me'. He did a lot of things like that with our parents' full support", he almost yelled at her and despite her blinking furiously he continued. "And I'm not even telling you the worst stuff. I'm not telling you the things our parents said to me or where exactly they sent us".

He took deep breaths to calm himself down. It was then he finally noticed the intense glare and teary eyes. Ageha stood up and rushed out of the door. Kaoru didn't have much time to react before an angry Na decided to give them both a piece of her mind.

"She is still hurt over her parents' deaths and two adult males she doesn't know decide to corner her and question why she misses them? That's disgusting and you two should be ashamed!"

"So, I'm suddenly a stranger now? If you two wanted to keep up the fantasy of two loving parents then you shouldn't have tried to talk to one of the two kids they treated like shit", Kaoru spat back but she didn't budge.

"She is 14 years old, a child, and you're an adult. You shouldn't have yelled at a child. You could have been civil or given her time to accept what you're trying to tell her. She has wanted to meet you and your brother her whole life. This is breaking her heart in so many ways! Of course, it's not your responsibility to keep up whatever she thinks you are supposed to be, but at least try to see this situation from her perspective and have some heart".

Kaoru looked away to the side and Na was about to leave but Kyoya stopped her and took out a pen from his jacket pocket.

"In any case, we should have a possibility of communication".

"So you can keep harassing her?"

"Do you think she wouldn't want to try keeping in contact after just one bad meeting? She hasn't even met Hikaru yet".

He scribbled down his number on a napkin and extended his hand with it towards her.

"Think about it".

She sighed, took it and gave Kaoru one last nasty glare before leaving the shop to follow Ageha. Kyoya turned back to Kaoru who now appeared regretful.

"I just discovered that I have a little sister and I ruined everything almost immediately… ".

"These circumstances were highly improper. You two should have met in a more controlled environment where you both knew of each other beforehand. Both of you were shocked and accidentally pushed each other's buttons. I must admit that she accidentally pushed my buttons too. Yes, we might have been a little too angry but I'm not sure we could have parted on good terms either way since you and Ageha have such different experiences with your parents. Experiences that contradict each other".

"The parts that aren't contradicting themselves make things weirder too. Why would our parents tell her about Hikaru and me? Why would they tell her what we are? And how much did they tell her? They must have lied about a lot if she doesn't think they are horrible, but why didn't they lie about everything?... I suppose they might have told her because she accidentally stumbled upon a picture they hadn't gotten rid of yet or something, but why didn't they just say that we died? WHy did she think there was a chance that we were alive?"

"You'll only get your answers if you ask her. I bet she has a lot of questions for you too".

"If I haven't scared her off forever… ".

"She will calm down and realize why you were upset. She will also become very curious since the parents she knew have a 'dark side' she never knew of. We haven't ruined anything. You both just need time to figure out what you want… what do you want?"

"I… I don't know, I obviously want to know what she knows…. and I want to know her too, but I also kind of dislike her for being our replacement… I mean, she looks old enough for me to suspect that mom was pregnant while she gave us up! … I need to tell Hikaru that we need to call our friends and tell them that we're not hanging out today. This is something he needs to know about as soon as possible".

"I agree. I can text him. Let's go".

The waitress looked at them, bemused, when they left, probably since they didn't order anything. Kyoya still tipped her regardless.

When they got home, Kaoru immediately brought out the long-forgotten wine bottle and poured himself a big glass. He let himself fall down onto the couch, mindful of his previous drink, and Kyoya held him in a comforting way until the door flew open and Hikaru marched inside, nearly forgetting to lock the door behind him. He was breathing hard and stared at his tipsy twin in disbelief.

"What the fuck is going on? Kyoya wrote that you met our sister and then he didn't respond when I called!?"

"My apologies. I have my phone on silent and didn't want to leave Kaoru alone".

"Even if I disagree that you should have been told that before you came here, yes, her name is Ageha and I fucked it up".

"What?"

After Kyoya made Kaoru put down his third glass, the couple explained everything that had happened to Hikaru, who had to sit down after a while and was currently having his face in his hands.

"I wouldn't have reacted much better", Hikaru murmured and that was something everyone could agree on. "Jesus… a sister… our parents didn't waste any time, did they? What the fuck are our lives at this point?"

"As I said, she has my number so she can reach out when she is ready, but you two need to decide what you want".

"I want to know what lies our parents told her and why she knows what we are. Has she told anyone?"

"The woman with her didn't seem to know anything and I don't think she would do anything harmful with this new information".

"You think? Why didn't you ask that woman to step out beforehand?"

"Don't be angry with Kyoya, it was a very weird situation. If she wants to, I want to see her again but if you want to see her too you can't react the way I did".

"I'm not gonna pretend that I wasn't mistreated to spare her feelings".

"I'm not saying that. We shouldn't lie to her but we shouldn't try to make her feel bad for her feelings either. If you want to meet her you have to be patient. I surely wasn't, but we need mutual respect to get what we need from each other".

"I want to get answers… I will decide later if I want the golden child in my life too", Hikaru decided and mumbled something about needing a shower before storming out.

Kaoru sighed, picked up his glass again and said: "He will calm down some… I hope. Because Hikaru is the only one of us who hasn't yelled at her yet he is what probably will make her want to try again".

"I think she will want to talk to you again too. If she is kind she will understand your reaction".

"It's the 'if' that's the problem right now", Kaoru sighed and downed the rest.

He went to get more to drink but Kyoya wrapped his arms around his waist and kept him in place.

"You don't need more of that. Trust me, you don't want to experience a hangover".

Kaoru wanted to argue but kept his mouth shut. He suspected that Kyoya didn't want him to drink for both of their sakes, not just Kaoru's. Instead, Kaoru leaned into the touch.

"Now when I know her I-I don't think I want her to leave", he admitted quietly, half sobbing. "But I can't help but hate her".

"I know you know that your anger is both understandable and misplaced. You're not bad and Hikaru is not bad either. Let's just wait and see how this goes, okay?"

"Okay", Kaoru sniffed.

---

It didn't take more than just one day before Kyoya was called from an unknown number. With the twins' consent Kyoya scheduled for Ageha and Na to come over in a few days, after Hikaru's work hours. Kyoya didn't know for sure if he could be present at first due to the nature of his work, but the worries died out as soon as the day came.

All three were anxiously waiting for Ageha to arrive. Everyone, even Kyoya, wanted a drink but they held each other back since that would be a terrible idea for obvious reasons.

Hikaru was the first one to notice the limo pulling out in front of the house. The twins knew their parents had been well off but seeing a small proof of it was still odd to them. Ageha looked serious while Na tried to look polite for the young girl's sake. Her interest piqued a little bit when she saw her other brother which hurt Kaoru more than he wanted to admit.

Kyoya invited the girls into the house and everyone sat down around the kitchen table. Being the proper person he was, he asked if anyone wanted something to drink and only Na asked for coffee. After giving her a steaming cup, they all sat in silence for a while.

"This is… surreal", Hikaru couldn't help but comment after a while. "I don't know how to feel even if I was given more time to process this than the rest".

The irony that Hikaru probably came off as the calm and reasonable twin right now did not get lost on Kaoru. If Ageha decided to stay in their lives she would figure out the truth eventually.

Kyoya cleared his throat and said: "I believe we should start off by apologizing for last time. We're sorry for raising our voices".

"Yes. I feel horrible for doing that", Kaoru agreed, looking straight into Ageha's eyes to make sure that she could see the regret he felt. "I didn't handle the whole thing properly and should have been more understanding. You clearly had a different relationship with them than we had".

Ageha sighed and her demeanor relaxed a little so she looked less like she was in a business meeting.

"I was overstepping too", she relented but it looked painful for her to do so. "Maybe it was naive of me to ever think you would love our parents as much as I did when you haven't spoken for years… I still can't imagine them doing anything you have told me, but that doesn't mean that you're wrong to be hurt. I didn't want to accept that but I'm 14 years old and have always said that I was forced to grow up too fast thanks to my parents' death… maybe I should actually walk the walk and be mature about this. I don't want to but I need to know everything".

"You just said that you can't quite believe us", Hikaru pointed out. "Will you even try to listen?"

"If you try to listen to me", she said and the twins did not like that. "To simplify the situation, you claim to have seen the bad side while I claim to have seen the good side… and be honest, wouldn't it be difficult for you to accept things I will say too?"

No one responded so she continued:

"I won't defend our late grandfather for doing what he did. I never liked him. If I had been stupid I might have, but simple math can tell that he cheated on our grandmother. Thanks to our uncle I mean".

"Uncle!?" The twins said in tandem.

"Yes, they had a child together before he cheated again with a new woman. What a surprise. They tried to make me like him but I never trusted him and he was apparently way worse than I could have imagined. But back to our parents-".

"What exactly did they say about us?" Hikaru cut off and she could tell that it was the most pressing subject so she didn't become cross with him for interrupting.

"They weren't honest at first since it was difficult to pull anything out of them about you. I bet they regretted mentioning you to me several times. Eventually, they told me that you two were born zeros and that they tried to cure you. They said they had to send you away because they believed it was for the best… but the story changed more and more. At first, they really sounded like they believed that they did the right thing… but it appeared like they started to regret the decision more and more".

The twins looked like they wanted to call bullshit on that but Kyoya silenced them with a look and gestures for her to go on. She looked a little less sour when she was reminiscing about their parents.

"They talked about you occasionally, funny little memories mostly. Especially when I did something that reminded them of you. Did you know that all three of us could be pretty rude sometimes? I always liked hearing about how you also used to embarrass them by acting like brats. Made me feel less bad about it growing up… which I don't think was the intention", she recalled, chuckling before turning serious again. "So, how much did I get wrong? I know they might not have had the best opinions when it comes to zeros-".

"An understatement", Hikaru interrupted again.

"So it seems… so, give me what you got. Tell me your side".

"Did they ever tell you where they sent us?" Kaoru probed.

Both boys were quite taken aback by some of the things she had said. They did have a hard time accepting that their parents actually missed them… actually they didn't believe that but they didn't verbalize that thought. It was mostly infuriating to hear how fondly she spoke of their parents and how normal the little she told about her life sounded in comparison to theirs.

"They didn't. I assumed it was some sort of permanent boarding school or something. Some sort of home for zeros but I never pried. I have wished a lot that I did since I didn't know how to come into contact with you".

"Well… you must promise to keep quiet about this", Kaoru said and she raised an eyebrow but nodded. "A lot of what happened to us is illegal nowadays, or at least under consideration to be considered illegal. First, our parents didn't treat us as their children. They did try to cure us and the tries ranged from absolutely ridiculous to downright evil. The thing our grandad did to me was one of those attempted cures, he did many more. Our parents made it clear to us that we were wrong and shameful. We were mostly hidden, those moments you mentioned before of us being rude were a rarity, or usually directed at the ones trying to cure us. It all only stopped when we ran away from home, joined a group that was supposed to help us 'gain freedom'. Didn't work and we were arrested. Instead of taking us home our parents agreed to give us over to the military and expressed that they didn't want us to carry their surname anymore. So we didn't…

"We were forced to use our powers in the military- mostly my powers since mine was seen as more helpful and easier to recreate. We didn't get out until we were 18 when I got a disorder that rendered me useless after them abusing my powers for so long. There are a lot of details I'm leaving out but we had to put ourselves in danger a lot of times and weren't allowed to live like normal children and teenagers. We have not seen or heard from our parents directly since we ran away, not even when we were arrested".

Ageha was silent for a while. She was both shocked and in denial. Kaoru had no idea what she had expected to hear but this was probably far from it. Of course, there was so much more to add but he didn't want to overwhelm her. Besides, he would rather not waste time laying out his entire life story for someone who had admitted to not being prepared to fully accept what they had to say.

Na looked completely horrified, seemingly believing their story entirely. Even if she too hadn't heard all the gruesome details it was still evident that the late Hitachiins hadn't exactly had the twins' best interest at heart (to say the least).

Kyoya stood up and went to get a glass of water that he put in front of Ageha but she didn't seem to notice. She had been staring down at the table this entire time and it wasn't until now Kaoru realized that she was specifically looking at the twins' hands in front of her. Kaoru had earlier made the conscious decision to hide as much of his body as possible for the girls' sake, but wearing gloves indoors was both ridiculous and would be questioned. So both twins rested their exposed hands on top of the table, subconsciously; Kaoru showing his scars and Hikaru showing his improperly healed fingers. Ageha seemed like a bright girl, she should understand what those injuries meant. Perhaps that's why she looked at them so intensely, to force herself to accept what she had been told. Hikaru seemed to have noticed her staring too.

"This is definitely not the worst of it. Just as Kaoru left out a lot of the dark things that happened, we look a lot worse. This isn't it".

She lifted her head and looked at them sadly and hesitantly.

"Can I… can I see?" She tentatively asked.

"I don't want to take off all of my clothes but… ".

Kaoru pulled up both of his sleeves and she stared wide-eyed.

"How many of these do you have?"

"Far too many", Kaoru responded before pulling down his sleeves again. "Most scars are caused by me being forced to use my powers too much, but others are from more physical missions… and 'cures'".

She looked down, deep in thoughts for a moment before she noticed the glass of water and almost downed the entire thing in a single gulp.

"I know you're not lying", she said at last and cleared her voice to make it a little less weak. "And I'm sorry… but I don't think they knew exactly where they sent you. I'm not saying that to minimize your feelings, but they didn't act out of hate. They must have acted out of ignorance".

"You think two successful business people would let themselves be tricked by a dodgy contract from the American military?"

"No, but isn't it weird that you were in the hands of a foreign country's military? Were you arrested here or… ?"

"No. We planned on attacking a place in Japan", Kaoru corrected,

"Attacked? - Never mind. It doesn't sound like all parties were necessarily honest. Why didn't the Japanese government take care of you instead?"

"Well, they could have legally killed us for attempting to do what we did so we are happy they didn't", Hikaru nonchalantly quipped. "Our parents wanted us as far away as possible. As simple as that. But why wouldn't you think that they knew what they signed us up for? And even if they didn't, they sure as fuck never tried to check on us and see that we were safe. So it doesn't actually make things better".

Ageha looked conflicted between feeling sympathetic to what they had been through, but also defensive.

"Perhaps not. My point is that they weren't horrible human beings. They were misguided. I can't say that I am an expert on what you are but I know now, and they later realized, that it's not something that can be removed. They thought they would save you".

"They thought we would become actual human beings worthy of love if they cured us", Kaoru disagreed. "Being nice to people you respect doesn't mean anything if you treat others like crap. They only treated you better because they saw you as their child… but the way they treated us… ".

"I think he is trying to say that horrible people can be seen as nice", Kyoya chimed in. "For example serial killers who shocked the masses as soon as they were outed for their crimes".

"Our parents weren't serial killers though. They didn't hide a crime".

"Child abuse is a crime even if it's not physical", Hikaru reminded her.

"It was physical", Kyoya said. "They let other people do harmful things to you, that's another form of abuse".

"Then they changed. I swear they did feel regret! They missed you".

"They sure as hell didn't show us their regret or that they missed us", Kaoru argued. "And if they were sorry, it's our apology to accept, not yours".

"I know it's not mine but I can't accept that they were evil. I can't turn back time and take them to you so they can apologize in person. I don't know how to convince you… ".

"We can't believe in kindness we never saw", Hikaru told her with his arms crossed. "We have old injuries and a multitude of mental issues to show that we haven't had it well thanks to our parents' choices".

"And I have nothing, no evidence", she finished, breathing heavily out of her nose. "Fucking great".

"Don't curse", Kaoru suddenly chastised, nose scrunching up in annoyance. "If I can't you cannot either".

"What?"

"Kyoya", Hikaru sighed. "I think Kaoru switched age again".

Kaoru looked around like he did sometimes after he had switched to make sure he knew his surroundings before he turned his attention back to the young confused girl in front of him.

"Who are you?" He asked before turning to the oldest male. "Kyoya?".

"We are having an adult meeting", Kyoya explained to him. "You can go and play in your room instead. This might be too boring for you".

"Thank you", he said after being excused from the table before standing up and walking away.

The astonished women didn't snap out of the shock until they heard footsteps walking up the stairs.

"What just happened?" Ageha demanded to know. Na was still silent. "Why doesn't he know who I am all of sudden?"

"Remember that condition that caused our retirement? This is it. He switches between different ages. Him as a small child hasn't met you before", Hikaru explained while he massaged his temples, he did not appreciate Kaoru (unintentionally... or?) leaving him to do this alone.

Sure Kyoya was there but the subject wasn't sore for him.

"His powers are memory-based", Kyoya said and the girls turned their attention to him. "He had to go through something that messed with his powers, to put it mildly, and now his memories aren't functioning correctly with his powers".

Once again Ageha turned silent but her mouth was slightly open. Kyoya decided to end the meeting for the day.

"I think this is a sign that we should try to continue at a later date".

"That sounds like a good idea", Na said, finding her voice.

She looked like she had been forced onto a rollercoaster ten times in a row and that she needed a long nap to get over today's madness.

The siblings didn't really say goodbye to each other when the girls left. Hikaru, just wanting any kind of distraction, announced that he would be the one to cook (despite preferring letting other people do that for him). Kyoya didn't argue and instead left the room and went after his boyfriend.

Kaoru was playing with his toys on the ground of the twins' room. It took a few minutes before he noticed Kyoya lazily watching him from the doorway.

"Are you down, Kyoya?" He asked before extending his hand, with a small car in it, towards him. "Do you want to play?"

"Maybe later… and no… I just have a lot to think about".

"Who were those women?"

"They are… I will explain later, okay? We have some things we need to figure out".

Kaoru looked a little displeased at the response but returned to play without saying anything else. Kyoya wasn't sure that telling every age about Ageha was the right move yet. It wasn't certain that she would want to know the twins at this point since they had such different opinions about something so serious. And young Kaoru wouldn't understand why his sister couldn't stay if she chose not to.

Hikaru came up the stairs after a while to tell them that it was time to eat, just as Kaoru's face started to twitch violently again. Kaoru sighed, put down the toy and stood up.

"What just happened!?" Hikaru exclaimed. "Was that a seizure!?"

"No, I was forcing my way out… sorry, I forgot to say that I can do that now. It wasn't exactly the most pressing matter that came up that day".

"We met your sister right after", Kyoya added before he fully processed what Kaoru had said. "And what do you mean by 'forcing your way out'?"

"It didn't feel like I blacked out during the time another age was present… It felt like I came back sooner than usual and saw what the younger me saw. So, I forced myself out, took over… it's not easy to explain".

"No, I think I understand. That's fascinating, and not what I would have expected... but it's quite difficult to predict ".

"It kind of sounds like his different ages become different people", Hikaru pointed out. "Obviously he still doesn't have D.I.D like we claim to strangers, but it's starting to become a little more similar".

"If your theory is correct then yes, I suppose in one regard", Kyoya agreed. "Far from the same sort of condition but maybe Kaoru's ages have existed for so long that they have become different people from all the different experiences".

"Wouldn't that mean that every age should be able to push through before they are supposed to show?" Kaoru asked, worried.

"Perhaps but we don't know exactly what this implies yet".

"This is a lot… First, my condition changes in a way we don't know if it's good or bad… and then I get a 14-year-old sister… I kind of want to just fall asleep until I stop being confused and finally understand".

"I feel like that too", Hikaru said, sympathetically. "But come down and eat now. You should take advantage of the few times I actually do cook".

"You're saying it like it's something to look forward to".

"Un-fucking-grateful… ".

---

After staying up far too late with homework, Kaoru was so exhausted that he couldn't tell which bedroom bed he had thrown his almost completely shut down body on. Without pulling the covers over him, he passed out.

...

He was freezing more than he had ever done before. Most of his skin was exposed to the vicious coldness. His body was shaking so violently that his muscles ached, his teeth were clashing uncomfortably and the ground under his hands and knees was so cold that it felt like it burned him.

"I said, why are you looking at me like that?" His grandfather asked, disgust and anger contorting his features. "This is going to work. No one fucking believes me. They will when they see that I'm right. The shock will do the trick".

"L-like a hiccup", Kaoru stuttered, sarcasm dripping in his voice, but the content smile on his grandfather's face told him that he misunderstood.

"Yes, exactly. Now stay still as I-".

The door to the cabin made a loud noise when it smashed against the outside wall when a woman hurried out of the house. Her face was twisted with fury and her dressing gown was flowing in the wind in a way that fascinated, a probably slowly dying, Kaoru.

"What the hell are you doing!? I never agreed to this!"

"You agreed to let me treat him even if it left some marks!" The elderly man bellowed and prevented her from going over to Kaoru.

"I can't-".

"You can't? You really need to decide, Yuzuha. You can't agree to give them help only to pull them out when things get a little difficult. As long as he stays like this he is bad and you need to sort out your priorities. Don't you want a good and normal child?"

The old geezer calling Kaoru bad did not sit well with him. Especially not when he was bad himself. Kaoru crawled closer to them and looked at his mother.

"I'm the bad one?"

"You… You know he ch-cheated, r-right?"

Kaoru's voice was almost quiet enough for them to not hear. The old man looked appalled at first at him actually telling Yuzuha, but then his expression turned sour like he had sucked on a particularly fresh lemon. Yuzuha looked like she couldn't believe her ears.

"You're lying", she said, in complete disbelief.

She almost resembled a small child at that moment, but her words riled him up.

"I… I'm not l-lying! I wouldn't d-do that!" He cried in desperation, needing her to believe him.

The way the old man was shuffling and preparing himself to yell reminded Kaoru of his presence. Knowing exactly what would break him down, Kaoru was filled with determination and a sick sort of pleasure.

"I saw you", he told his grandfather, whose face fell.

He knew that Kaoru had but he had hoped that Kaoru either had forgotten or been scared enough to never bring it up.

"You're… ". "-not supposed to talk about it".

Kaoru loathed how he always had to be terrified of his own grandfather. Something the old man had made sure of. The young boy refused to be scared and seen as bad when that man did bad things too. Instead, Kaoru kept looking happy about the man's pain.

"Threatening me doesn't work".

"It doesn't work. N-nothing you do works! I saw you! I saw-".

A boot in his face shut him up. He tasted blood and his head buzzed. Only barely, he could make out that his mother was yelling again. She pushed her elderly father so he fell to the ice. Despite always appearing so strong and intimidating he pleaded with her to help him to stand up. Instead, she removed her dressing gown and wrapped it around Kaoru. The old man continued to pathetically beg her to help him as she half lifted Kaoru from the ground and led him towards the cabin.

Kaoru's hopes about her prioritizing him were quashed as she finally gave in to her father. She eased Kaoru down on the wooden stairs before hurrying out to help his grandfather.

When she was walking past Kaoru with his grandfather's arm around her shoulders, the man gave Kaoru a nasty grin, making sure Kaoru could clearly see that he would never be important enough. Kaoru forced himself to keep the tears in even when the other two disappeared into the house. He didn't want to join them but he knew that he could freeze to death outside (he was little, not stupid". With a lot of effort, he stood up and carefully walked up the staircase, the next step being more painful than the last and frost was building up in his hair.

As soon as he entered through the door clothes appeared on his body and the insides resembled more his childhood home rather than the cabin. His father was sitting on the living room couch with a book in his lap. Kaoru wasn't used to any of his parents spending time there in the middle of the day and it made him feel like it was illegal for him to draw there like he usually did. Now more than ever.

His parents hadn't punished him for what he did to that boy in the water, but he was waiting for it. His grandfather had said that zeros doing something that bad could be killed. Kaoru didn't want to die and was so scared that he hadn't been able to eat. Of course, he had apologized profusely and explained what had happened but his parents just ignored him. No police had arrived so Kaoru assumed they didn't know since that would probably lead to the twins being outed for being zeros (a scandal, especially with "murderous zeros"). Several of the staff had told him that it wasn't for his own sake that he wasn't in prison.

Hayato realized that he wasn't alone and looked up. His expression was unreadable so Kaoru had no idea how disappointed he actually had to be when he saw one of his sons in the doorway, arms full of art supplies aimed at children. The longer Kaoru's father stared at Kaoru the more the little boy's eyes started to water and eventually he was outright sobbing. Hayato's eyes widened and he looked conflicted.

Kaoru made the choice for him and left the room. He didn't want to return to his and Hikaru's room since Hikaru was in a horrible mood after a fight with their mother. Instead, he went and sat down on the ground in the hallway, among the shoes. He felt like that's where he deserved to be. He put all of his things down around him and, with blurry vision, started to draw. He drew a dress like he usually did. He never wanted to draw them in front of other people since the servants had made fun of him a lot for his "girly" interests. Not the drawing clothes part, of course, but what kind of clothes he liked.

After a while, he did manage to stop the tears. He had a headache, his eyes were puffy and he had tear stains on his drawing but he was starting to feel a little better.

He heard footsteps and looked up. After seeing his father, he looked down again and continued to color. Sometimes he liked to imagine that he became part of the wall or whatever ornament that was the closest. This time around he felt just as dirty as the soles of the shoes next to him.

"Why are you sitting here?" Hayato asked with a voice that sounded oddly gentle.

Kaoru didn't trust this. He just wished his parents would either say that they forgave him or punish him already. Or else he would find ways to punish himself, which would hopefully make everything fine.

"Are you scared of me, Kaoru?" He asked, acknowledging Kaoru again, and the child tensed up for a second before continuing to draw, giving Hayato the answer he needed.

The question was a little odd to Kaoru since he always felt like he wanted to ask his parents that.

To Kaoru's surprise that actually seemed to make his father sad. What shocked him even more was that his father sat down on the floor next to him and shuffled closer until his knees touched Kaoru's back. The young child tensed up more and that again seemed to hurt the older male.

"That's a nice drawing", Hayato commented and Kaoru blushed, immediately believing that his father was sarcastic and would follow that comment up with an insult. "Do you like to draw clothes like mommy?"

Kaoru kept being silent at first, both because he hadn't expected that and because he was still afraid. Not wanting to risk angering his father he did respond:

"Y-yes".

It was barely above a murmur but Hayato looked triumphant.

"That's very good. Do you like drawing dresses? It's a very beautiful garment. Maybe if you keep drawing clothes you can try to make them one day".

"You th-think that?"

"Yes of course. Do you want to make a dress one day?"

"Y-yeah… but to who?"

"... what do you mean?"

"I only know two girls, grandma and mommy, and they will not want to wear anything I make because I'm not good".

Hayato's small smile disappeared and he looked dumbfounded at what Kaoru had said. Kaoru could almost swear that it looked like his father was about to cry. The older male nodded at him and patted his shoulder awkwardly. Then he stood up, leg joints popping, before marching away. Kaoru had no idea how to react to that. He didn't feel any motivation to draw anymore and picked everything up, including himself, from the floor and left.

For some reason, he went in the direction of the kitchen. All the supplies disappeared from his arms and he became smaller. He closed his eyes and when he opened them again he was standing on the kitchen floor, one hand bleeding and one hand holding a crimson dripping knife. His mother was screaming and it took him a moment to realize that it wasn't out of anger. He still dropped the knife out of shock. The sound of it hitting the hard floor didn't register in his mind.

Yuzuha ran over to him, with the same dressing gown from the cabin flowing elegantly after her. She gently grabbed his wrist so she could look at the ongoing stream flowing from the, deeper than intended, wound on his palm. His father was frozen in shock until Yuzuha shrieked at him to get help. He ran out of the room and she embraced Kaoru and picked him up, holding him against her chest in a way he wasn't used to. The touch was unfamiliar and he started to apologize over getting blood on her shirt, but she shushed him gently, bouncing him in her arms.

Then suddenly she was the one who started to apologize.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. You're a real boy, you're real. You don't have to prove it. You don't have to. I'm so sorry… ".

Hayato came back with a servant carrying a medical kit. The servant looked a little confused but otherwise not too bothered. Hayato took Kaoru from Yuzuha and sat down on a chair with Kaoru in his lap.

The small boy did whine while his injury was cleaned and stitched shut while his parents were calming him down. They never dared to take him to the hospital since it would out him as a zero. They had their own medical staff but they claimed to not have anything to help with the pain.

Kaoru assumed that he was supposed to leave now but his dad just kept him in place and his mother sat down next to them and buried her face into her hands.

"Why does it have to be this hard? Why is nothing right!?" She exclaimed to no one and Kaoru was so confused…

...

It was dark but comfortable. Kaoru's whole body was like a statue. Every muscle was rigid to the point he almost worried that they would snap. His feet were cramping and he hyperventilated with sweat dripping down his face.

Initially, it confused him that no one was trying to see what was happening to him, but after calming down a little more he noticed that he wasn't in any of his beds. No, he was in the guest room that used to be Ai's when she would stay at the house to take care of him (she retired some years ago and her replacement only came over occasionally when Kyoya had to be gone for a while, since Hikaru couldn't just skip work).

Kaoru sat up in bed, pausing with his movements for a moment because the tiredness caused him nausea, and put his feet on the ground. He spent a few minutes going over which room to continue his sleep in but ultimately decided that he definitely had to go to Hikaru.

He left the room and walked through the darkness until he finally arrived at his and Hikaru's room. Even if Kaoru slept in the master bedroom more often nowadays he still had helped Hikaru put some personality in their room. They had posters and drawings all over the walls, they had a little gaming area in one of the corners, Hikaru's homework was spread out over the desk and the shelf was full of their slowly growing collection of art supplies and toys for toddler Kaoru.

He lied down on his bed but couldn't sleep. Instead, he waited for Hikaru to wake up. His stomach rumbled with hunger, he was dehydrated, his throat hurt like he had been crying (perhaps he had?), every position was uncomfortable and he couldn't stop himself from occasionally trace his fingers over the scar on his palm.

Confusion after memories returning was normal but he felt like he was bursting at the seams. He guessed that Ageha's statement of their parents being conflicting had triggered the parts of Kaoru's memories that he wasn't allowed to experience beforehand during his blockade treatment. Still, those nicer moments almost made him think that Ageha had paid someone to put false memories in his head. A ridiculous notion of course (and not only because he was, again, a blockade) but he couldn't fathom that his parents actually cared (even if they didn't properly know how to, by the looks of it). He didn't know how to take this and Hikaru was not being very helpful by sleeping… screw it.

Kaoru stood up, walked over the floor and grabbed Hikaru's shoulders and shook him gently. Hikaru groaned and his eyes opened and fell shut.

"Hikaru, we have a new issue".

"Mhhr… fuck off".

"I remember more about our parents… I think Ageha was right about our parents feeling regret".

Hikaru opened his eyes and turned his body more to face him.

"What do you mean?" He groaned.

"No, sit up first so I know you won't fall asleep on me".

"Whatever, whatever", he mumbled and obliged, shuffling his body upwards. "Now, why are you bothering me when I'm trying to sleep?"

"I told you, I got new memories".

Kaoru proceeded to explain everything he had seen to the best of his ability. Hikaru looked more awake at the end but no less confused than his twin.

"What are we supposed to do with this information?" He asked. "I mean, aren't we allowed to be angry with them all of sudden?"

"I don't think forcing ourselves to forgive people who constantly put us in danger is a healthy option. But I think we should give Ageha credit where it's due. Our parents were very confused, they didn't hate us".

"Ageha wants us to be able to forgive them though".

"Did she say that? I'm not sure if that was her intention. I think she just didn't want us to just hate them, but understand that they had good in them. She doesn't think we lied, she just thinks we don't know the whole truth".

"So, you think she would be content with us saying 'okay, we know that our parents loved us now, but we are still not going to stop disliking them for causing us trauma'? You don't think she would be disappointed and keep trying to force forgiveness out of us?"

"I think we don't have enough to say that she wants us to get over what happened and start to love our parents like she does. We all need a realistic picture of them to be able to find some sort of compromise; she needs to fully accept that our parents' actions meant more than their feelings and we need to accept that they really had no idea what to do and thought that they did the right thing".

"Maybe but if she does want us to right out forgive them then I want nothing to do with her. Nothing at all. We have fought to be able to see all the unfairness in our childhood and our parents aren't an exception just because they 'actually loved us' or 'were decent people to Ageha'. This isn't negotiable. Now, you did the right thing in telling me about this but I really need to sleep. I have work tomorrow. You should try to sleep too".

With that dismissal, without leaving room for Kaoru to say anything, he shuffled down again and turned his back towards his brother to properly show that he was done with the conversation. Kaoru sighed and returned to his own bed. He felt good about easing the weight off of his chest (especially since Hikaru would fall asleep again pretty quickly and wouldn't suffer from being awake) but now he felt alone. Also a little insecure again since Hikaru mentioned his work… which made Kaoru wonder, was he just trying to salvage a relationship with his sister because of his desperation to matter? He knew he felt useless, he couldn't hold down a job, wasn't allowed to study full time and he wasn't helping out like he did in the military. He was essentially dead weight, but here came a little sister wanting, no needing, her older brothers. Sure, Kyoya was a stronger force in trying to bring everyone together, so Kaoru wasn't visibly trying to overcompensate… but what did he want? Did he actually want someone who could undo the rightful hate he felt towards the two people who hurt him the most? Kaoru thought he would feel sadness at her leaving forever if Hikaru was right about her, but would he even want to try anymore? At least if he didn't have these insecurities about being needed?

Kaoru turned in bed. The loneliness was gripping him harder and he really wanted to go over to Kyoya to have someone hold him. Kyoya would like his company too even if his nightmares had died down more and more throughout the years. However, Kyoya also needed his sleep and if Kaoru accidentally woke him up he would stay awake until Kaoru would tell him why he left the other room. Kyoya would assume something was off and he wouldn't be wrong.

"Damn you, perfect boyfriend".

Having nothing else to do, Kaoru's thoughts inevitably went to the recovered memories. He couldn't help but cling onto the warmth he now remembered from his parents; the way his mother defended him from his grandfather, the way his father encouraged his interests, the way they both worried over him, held him, talked to him. Tears started to build up in his eyes. He wanted to experience all of those moments, he missed the ones he already knew about and he hated himself for it. Like Hikaru and him had agreed on, their parents' horrible actions didn't change anything. Still, he went over and over again how his mother bounced him in her arms, trying to comfort him while apologizing. A woman capable of love… but not fully loving him. He had to cover his mouth to not disturb Hikaru with his cries. Hikaru would probably be jealous of him for remembering the better parts just like Kaoru was jealous of Hikaru for just hearing everything second hand.

Kaoru rearranged his pillows so he could hug one of them, loathing himself for every time he replayed the memory of his mother in the kitchen.

In the morning, with Kaoru obviously sleep-deprived, he didn't even need to say anything before Kyoya could see that something was wrong and questioned him. Kaoru of course relayed everything with little to no hope that his boyfriend could help him, but decided to be completely honest anyway as soon as Hikaru was out of earshot.

"Even if I like knowing the truth, it hasn't made things easy for me. I feel like a bad person because I'm starting to miss them now despite knowing all the horrible things they did".

"What you're feeling isn't weird, Kaoru", Kyoya assured and scooted his kitchen chair closer to him so he could be near. "In the vast majority of abuse cases, things are never 100 percent horrible. There are usually good moments too, hence why so many people have a hard time cutting the abusive people out or they downright won't accept that any abuse occurred".

"It was easier when I couldn't remember the good moments. I sometimes feel like they weren't that bad… even if they were. Not just for the harm they and people they knew did, but also for being so neglectful to send us away without knowing what that would entail".

"You would have gone through this confusion before if you hadn't pushed away all those memories. You're not bad in any way for feeling like this and don't worry about what Hikaru and I will feel, do whatever you need to heal".

"What do you mean?"

"If you really want to forgive them, and if it's the best option for your well-being, then do it. You know how Hikaru and I would feel about it and I won't patronize you by lying, but you should prioritize yourself".

Kaoru could tell that it really caused Kyoya emotional pain to say that.

"You don't need to worry about that. I'm not under the impression that they deserve to be let off the hook without giving themselves a chance to work for it. As you said, a lot of abusive people are decent at times. Not enough for the ship not to sink… but thank you. That did not look easy to say".

"I can't remove my personal bias completely", Kyoya said with a smile before standing up.

Kaoru stood up too so they could kiss each other goodbye before Kyoya would go off to work.

"Tell me when you want me to try to plan another meeting with Ageha again!" Kyoya called from the hallway before exiting the house.

Kaoru sighed and sat down again. That wasn't something he looked forward to. He really hoped that he was correct about Ageha's motives and not Hikaru.

---

It took about a week before the twins were okay with seeing their little sister again. Apparently, she had wanted to meet them earlier but Kyoya had asked her to give the brothers time.

Kaoru was currently sitting outside alone in the backyard with his sketchbook. He wanted to ease some of the stress about the meeting but unfortunately, stress wasn't a very good inspiration for designing (who would have thought?). Ultimately, he decided to work on an unfinished drawing instead, which made it a little easier.

The glass doors opened and Kaoru looked up, expecting to see either Hikaru or Kyoya to tell them that the girls had arrived. What he hadn't expected was that said girls were the ones coming out and seeing him wrapped up in the fluffiest blanket on top of the "swing bench" (at least that's what he wanted to call it. His favorite word right after kangaroo shirt).

"Hi", he said awkwardly, not giving in to the urge to close his book since, from his experiences, that would just make them more curious about it.

"Kyoya let us in and said that you were out here… he might have meant that I should have waited for him to come and get you, I now realize", she explained. "You're not super young right now, right?"

"No, don't worry about it. Can't guarantee that I won't change to a younger age though so we shouldn't drag things out".

"Probably not", he said and Na gave her an encouraging nod. "Can I sit down with you?"

"Sure… ".

She propped herself down beside him. He noticed that she wore pretty expensive clothes. Granted, she always probably did but this was the first time he recognized the brand. To his dismay, she did peek at his drawing and did not look apologetic when he "discreetly" pulled it away from her.

"I see at least one inherited mother's talents… I hope that isn't rude for me to say".

"What do you mean? Aren't you taking over the company?"

"Yes, when I'm a little older, but I'm more into the business aspect of it. I can design but not on the same level".

"On the same level?"

"Can I look through your sketchbook?"

"Ehm… I suppose it can't hurt", he mumbled hesitantly and handed Ageha the book.

She started to go through it, lingering on some pages and turning the page quicker on others. It made him a little more nervous but he kept his mouth closed.

"You're good for someone who hasn't had a formal education", she commented after a few agonizing minutes for Kaoru.

"Do you mean an education in general or a specialized one?"

"I guess both could count but I especially talked about the latter".

"Thanks… drawing clothes is one of my very few hobbies".

The glass door opened again and Kyoya told everyone to come inside so they could talk. Kaoru had to struggle a little bit with carrying his supplies and fluffy blanket, but luckily Kyoya decided to help his dumbass through the door.

Everyone sat down on the same chairs as last time after Kaoru and Kyoya had put everything away. This time, everyone said yes when Kyoya asked if anyone wanted something to drink (he was the only one to blame) and it took some time before they could start talking thanks to that.

"I believe Kaoru wants to get something out of the way", Kyoya said helpfully to break the silence.

Kaoru leaned closer to Kyoya to get a silent, non excessively PDA, comfort as he collected himself under everyone's gaze.

"As you know, I have some problems with my memories. I think you only know about the age thing? But I also have a lot of memories I can't remember. Thanks to an old friend of ours, a zero with mind powers, I sometimes get back old memories… wherever I like it or not it seems. At least we think it's because of him. Following so far?" He asked just to make sure that he was making sense.

"Was it him who did that?" Ageha asked and pointed at Kyoya… all three men just realized that they had never actually told her what Kyoya's role in everything was so they couldn't really fault her for asking. "You don't need to hide anyone's identity from me. You know I don't care".

"I'm not a zero. He is talking about someone from the military base", Kyoya politely corrected and she nodded.

"Anyway, the memories I got this time around were about our parents. More specifically their nicer sides", he said and Ageha lit up a little bit, which made it harder (but not impossible to continue). "That strengthens your claims about them actually caring about us but that doesn't change much. They were still pretty bad. Our mother ultimately chose her father before us and didn't care that she put me in a dark place until it approached the final straw. Our father was also a coward who never tried to correct the notion that they hated us, not even when it was obvious that I thought they were going to kill me. We can't forgive them".

"We can empathize and realize that their situation was difficult for them thanks to stigma and bigotry", Hikaru added, most saying word for word what Kaoru had pointed out to him earlier that week during one of many discussions. "But they still hurt and abandoned children. We are not going to talk badly about them, unless actually provoked, around you, but there is no chance that we'll lie or force ourselves to believe that they didn't do bad things".

"Will that be okay for you?" Kaoru asked carefully and she sighed.

"It has to be and I will be", she said and scratched an itch on her nose. "I can't ask anything more of you. I'm glad all of us understand now the dilemma our parents had and it's more than fair that the ones that were getting the brunt of it would go about this the way that is best for them… I have a lot to think about even if I've had time apart from you. All my memories of them are befuddled and I can't look back at them the same way. Not unlike you had to, I'd imagine.

"Still, since I had a really great childhood… I can't hate them. You can't forgive them and I can't hate them… if that's okay? I don't want it to come off as me thinking that your pain isn't that bad".

Ageha looked more insecure than Kaoru had ever seen her and Hikaru looked genuinely taken aback that she didn't demand them to see things the way she did, but his expression didn't take long until it changed into one of relief. That made Kaoru more confident.

"Let's all do the same thing. We said that we won't talk badly about them unprovoked and you don't have to talk about them like they are the best parents in the world. Only when we are around each other of course, otherwise it's free to talk about whatever you want. At least we can do this in the beginning and even if the other party starts a conversation, Hikaru and I shouldn't go on a long rant and you shouldn't 'rub it in'".

"I think that's fair. There are a lot of other things we should rather talk about anyway", she responded, beaming in a way the men had never seen before with her. "For example, I want to get to know my new brothers and discuss something with Kaoru".

"Discuss what?" Kaoru asked.

Everyone was more relaxed now when they had finally reached a solution that kept the siblings together in a peaceful way. So Kaoru wasn't worried about what she could possibly want to talk about.

"Well, I suppose I can ask both of you. What do you want to do in the future?"

Both looked at her, flummoxed.

"Ehm… we don't know?"

"You don't know? Aren't you 20-something?"

"Zeros don't have dreams. At least not military zeros. You never think about the future when you're taught that there is nothing good in it", Hikaru explained.

"Well, you are outside now and seem to be functioning mostly well. You can get jobs you actually want and it's good to choose before you enter college-level education… if you haven't already".

"We haven't… we don't know what we want to do".

"What do you like doing? There is work in pretty much everything these days… you said designing clothes is one of your few hobbies, Kaoru, but you can work with it if you get an education".

"That sounds like a fun prospect but isn't it difficult to get recognition? Especially someone like me?"

"... you think being a Hitachiin will make it harder to gain recognition?"

"I meant the zero thing… but thank you for making me sound really stupid".

"It's only a small rumor that you disappeared because you are zeros. Even if people found out, you can still legally work and we are famous and well-liked enough for what you are to not interfere. At least not after a while if you decide to keep it secret at first. I'll of course be the one to employ you. I think you have more passion for designing than I do so it wouldn't bother me if you were to take over the company one day either… as long as we can still work together... Maybe it's better if we own it together, I think I would like that better".

"It would bother the law since we can't legally own companies".

"... really?"

"Yeah", Hikaru agreed. "They took the saying that only psychopaths are bosses too seriously. What's worse than psychopathic bosses? Psychopathic bosses with superpowers of course. We can't get legally married either… I don't mean to each other, I mean in general".

"You and I can't marry each other for good reason", Kaoru said.

"The world couldn't handle that", Hikaru agreed.

"Marry someone else", Kyoya interjected, jokingly threatening Hikaru. "I definitely think you came forward with a really good proposition, Ageha, and I'll make sure that Kaoru thinks this over hard. Hikaru too".

"I would also like to add something to the conversation before", Na chimed in. "I do think it can help to think about the things that couldn't have happened if you didn't have the experiences you had… unless that makes you angry of course since it could be taken as you needing to be thankful".

"What kind of things?" Kaoru asked, a bit confused over her changing the subject back to the previous one.

"Well", Ageha interjected. "I don't think I would have existed if they didn't already have their hands full I suppose… ".

"And… we wouldn't have met you if that happened?" Hikaru added hesitantly, not entirely understanding the point of making them all realize how unnecessary so many events were (even if she had intended for them to do the opposite).

"Kyoya wouldn't have been a part of our lives if we had never been sent to the base", Kaoru added.

Hikaru opened his mouth like he wanted to argue his point but all the memories of Kyoya helping him out made him shut it again.

"Not to sound rude but who are you to them anyway?" Ageha asked Kyoya, not in the most tactful way. "I thought you were also a zero at first but if that's not the case… ".

"I'm Kaoru's boyfriend", Kyoya answered simply, not needing to ask Kaoru first.

She only looked shocked for a second before she nodded with a "that makes sense"-look on her face (and Kaoru could buy that). Na looked confused and baffled for longer but neither Kaoru or Kyoya cared.

"So, I kind of asked you to be a stereotype when I asked you to become a designer?"

"Now when you mention it, yes, but if the shoe fits".

The girls only stayed for a short while but it was time well spent on sibling bonding. The brothers and sister also exchanged numbers before the guests had to leave so all the communication didn't have to happen through Na and Kyoya.

The men were in the middle of cleaning up the cups when Kaoru told Hikaru that he was proud of how mature he had been during the meeting. Kyoya left to take out the garbage and Hikaru humbly responded:

"I can't say I didn't still think that she would want us to forget the past in order for us to get to know each other, but I did hope you were right like you usually are", he admitted and scratched his neck after putting down cups into the dishwasher. "I guess doing a bad thing helped me see things".

"A bad thing?" Kaoru asked with narrowed eyes, mistrustful

"Okay, several bad things".

"What 'several bad things'?"

"I… I knew I needed to see for myself to actually understand… so… ".

"So you went into Ageha's dreams, didn't you?"

"I couldn't get into yours!"

"That's messed up Hikaru. How many times did you use your powers on her!?"

"Well, I… I forgot that I can actually control dreams somewhat. I was a dumbass for three days straight. Then I finally got it and used another day to practice control… ".

"Hikaru!? That's four broken toes!"

"What are you two screaming about?" Kyoya asked as he returned.

"Can you get the medical kit? He used his powers".

Kyoya sighed like he was deeply disappointed before leaving to get what his boyfriend had asked for.

"You have to admit that I hid it pretty well".

"Shut up and sit down", Kaoru ordered and Hikaru placed himself on the closest chair.

"I didn't just do it because I wanted to break her trust without her knowledge, you know. It's only so long you can suppress the urge before it's all you can think about. I do actually feel bad for doing that to her".

"Then I won't tell her if you promise to never do it again", Kaoru said sternly, crossing his arms and Hikaru nodded. "And what urge are you talking about?"

"Urge to use my powers? I get it from time to time. Usually, it isn't that bad but I haven't used them for years so it kind of built up over time… I knew you probably didn't get it at the base since you already used them so often… but have you never felt it at all?"

"No… I suppose I haven't. Maybe it's like a period? Those can stop when there is too much stress, I think. Maybe because my Richter vine is fucked I can't feel the urge to use my powers because I can't use them anymore".

"I can't say I've ever thought to use that kind of comparison, but have you even tried to use them? Do you know for sure that you can't?"

"I haven't. Didn't want to add more scars unless I can't help it".

"That does not sound right. I assumed you still used your powers from time to time... But not at all, really?"

"Yes, really. And unless I feel any bad symptoms things will stay this way".

"Lucky you. I hope you won't have to use them".

Kyoya returned and Hikaru had to remove his socks so the doctor could set his toes straight and wrap them tightly. Hikaru was trying his best to not show how much pain he was actually in. Kaoru made a mental note to explain the situation later (not wanting Kyoya to be worried while he was helping his brother).

Kyoya's phone started to go off from the floor above and Kaoru volunteered to get it so Kyoya could finish up. When Kaoru arrived at Kyoya's office, the phone stopped ringing for a moment. Since he could see Tamaki's name on the display he knew that the blonde man would call soon again.

Just as he was about to pick the device up, he noticed some flyers. He decided to take one of those instead and saw that it was about a medical network for zeros. Kaoru remembered that Kyoya had said something about wanting to help zeros years ago, but he had never learned exactly what Kyoya was doing. Apparently, the older man was actively trying to discreetly help zeros who were too afraid to go to hospitals. Kaoru also found several books and articles about zero anatomy and such. Which meant that Kyoya continued his medical studies about zeros long after he stopped working at the base. All this really warmed Kaoru's heart, but it also reminded him that his non-zero boyfriend was fighting more for his rights than he was.

"Maybe I should follow suit… even if I'm an idiot in comparison to my genius doctor boyfriend… What would Kyoya say? … do what you can do".