Dimitri isn't sure when he first realises he's in love with Rose; it's one of those things that kind of sneaks up on him when he isn't looking.
It certainly isn't love at first sight. Well, if you can call looking at a photograph in a file 'first sight' anyway. At this point, Rose Hathaway is little more than a name in the Dragomir file, an obstacle in the way of completing his mission, and he certainly doesn't look at her picture and think, this is her, this is the girl I'm going to love for the rest of my life. No, the sight of her barely evokes much beyond surprise and a grudging respect that not only has she managed to escape the academy, but she's also managed to remain undetected for so long. And maybe Dimitri feels a slight pang of sympathy for her, as he pages through the information and wonders how a mother could walk away from her four year old daughter, but that's it. And none of those emotions are even remotely close to love.
And it isn't love when he finally actually lays eyes on the living, breathing tornado of grit and determination that is Rose Hathaway. By now his surprise and respect has turned to irritation and fatigue, and all he's interested in is getting her and the Dragomir princess on a plane back to Montana. The most positive feeling he allows himself to feel is the briefest flash of admiration for the fervour with which she attacks even as her energy wanes and she stumbles over her own feet. There is admiration, he'll admit, but there isn't love. Not yet.
There is still no love over those first few weeks when they're just getting to know each other. There are smiles, the odd laugh, and nearly always a teasing glint in her eyes when she looks at him. And in him there is an unwilling fondness that blooms as he has to yield and admit that there is more to Rose Hathaway than meets the eye, but there is no love.
He doesn't love her That Night. There is lust certainly; it is a lust charm after all that draws them together, and he tells himself it's the charm that makes touching her feel as natural as breathing. By now he respects Rose, feels affection for her, but it isn't love that has him running her hands over her body and kissing her deeply.
He tells himself it can't be love when he runs towards the academy's cells, the sound of a brutal fight in the distance. It can't be love that has his heart in his throat, or makes his stomach twist when he sees Rose crumpled on the ground, blood trickling from her mouth. It can't be love, he tells himself as he gathers her body in his arms and takes her out of that place. It can't be love because he can't bear to love someone who could be taken away from him so easily.
He tells himself that it isn't love that makes him want to pull her into his arms and comfort her when they stumble across that house with all the bodies and the blood. He tells himself that it's professional devotion to his student that makes his heart ache at the sight of her pale face and trembling lips as she wraps her arms around herself. He tells himself it isn't love and pretends like he believes it.
He tells himself that love isn't the cause of that twinge of ugly jealousy that builds in the pit of his stomach whenever he sees Rose with Adrian or Mason. He tells himself that he's just protective of her, that because of whatever lingering feelings he has for her, he doesn't want to see her get hurt.
He doesn't want to admit what he feels when he realises that Rose is missing, doesn't want to acknowledge the blind panic that he keeps locked up tight as it claws at his insides. There's a feeling that his heart is beating outside of his chest, that it's wherever Rose is, but Dimitri forces himself to focus on finding her. Whatever he's feeling can come later.
But it's impossible to ignore how he feels as they bust down the door to that house and behold the horror scene that's waiting for them. Because he loves her and he feels like his heart is cracking in two when he sees her draped over Mason's body, lying entirely too still. Because he loves her and it feels like he's coming back to life when her head lifts, and wild, dark eyes find his. Because he loves her and when he sees the way she trembles, her bloodied face crumpling with devastation he wants nothing more than to wrap her in his arms and make sure nothing ever hurts her again. Because he loves her and he has for a long time and he can't deny it any longer.
Not me coming back literally three years later with an update lmao. Hey vampire academy fam, you alive out there? Heard about the new show? Don't know how I feel about it tbh, Julie Plec doesn't have the best reputation but trying to stay positive...
Hope you enjoyed the chapter, bit of a character study of Dimitri (which is becoming a bit of a habit, can you tell I love him?). Next prompt up is "fire", what ideas do you guys have for it? Tell me and what you thought of the chapter in a review :D