Fragile World

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these delightful characters, that honor belongs to Cassandra Clare. I have mostly followed the events of the show except for Simon's becoming a Vampire. For this story, I wanted Raphael to be his sire, so I followed the books version of his turning.

Chapter 7

Simon looked up as the bell above the door chimed, indicating that someone had entered the shop. About two weeks ago, he had gotten a job at a comic bookstore not far from the loft. He was going crazy not doing anything all day while Magnus, Alec and Jace were out doing High Warlock and Shadowhunter 'business'. So, when he had seen the help wanted sign in the window, he had gone in and been hired on the spot. The owner was a young guy, in his mid-twenties, and he had taken an instant liking to Simon and his Dr. Strange shirt he had been wearing that day.

He turned his attention back to the front of the shop and smiled slightly when he saw the blonde shadowhunter closing the door behind himself.

"Hey Jace," he said by way of greeting. "You get lost? Or you have a sudden desire to read a comic book?" he teased. The blonde chuckled and stepped further into the store.

"I was bored and figured I'd come scope out your new job," he said glancing about the small shop, taking in the shelves of comic books and action figures. "I'm sure it's positively…thrilling," he finished, arching an eyebrow. He paused in his observations to look closely at Simon. "Are you feeling alright? You look a bit pale," he asked, a hint of concern in his voice.

"I'm fine," Simon assured. "I'm just tired. I'm not sleeping well…Magnus is having a harder time than we expected finding out about my family's deaths and it's keeping me awake at night." He conveniently left out the fact that his tolerance to blood was still practically non-existent. The burning sensation from previously had not returned full force, but it did remain. It was a noticeable dull sensation lingering on the outskirts of his senses, so he figured he was, at the moment, not in any immediate danger. Jace nodded at his explanation.

"He still hasn't found any leads? That's surprising given his connections. Whoever did it, must really want to stay safely hidden." Simon shrugged and moved to straighten the corner where some armchairs were arranged for people to sit, talk, and read.

"Yea, I guess. I'm still convinced it's Camille, but I can't prove it and nobody is talking. Everyone is too scared of her to say anything. But hopefully he comes back with something."

"I can ask around with some of our contacts too if you want. But if Magnus can't get any answers, chances are we definitely won't."

"It's fine, I'll wait to see what he finds out, thanks for the offer though," Simon responded with a sigh. He hadn't lied, he was tired, so tired. And no matter how much he tried, he hadn't gotten a good night's sleep in weeks. "You want to come over after my shift and watch the next episode of Glee?" he asked the blonde.

Truthfully, whenever Jace came over to watch TV with Simon, it usually ended with Simon using Jace as a pillow in some form and him sleeping through most of whatever they were watching. Jace never seemed to mind, and Simon enjoyed the contact with the blonde even more than he did with Magnus or Alec. He had tried to convince himself that it had nothing to do with his ever-growing crush on the other boy, and everything to do with their growing friendship, but he knew better. He was definitely crushing hard on the shadownhunter, and he enjoyed spending time with him and talking to him. He had told Jace things he had never told anyone and vice versa. They had shared such intimate details of their lives, their fears and insecurities, that it was no wonder he found himself falling for the blonde angel in front of him.

"Sure, as long as no missions come up. I'll grab some dinner before I come over. You want me to get you some blood from Taki's?" Jace asked as he leaned against the counter. Simon shook his head.

"Nah, Magnus just got a delivery yesterday. I should be fine with that. I get done at 8, so whenever you come over is fine." He glanced at the clock and was relieved to see he only had an hour and a half left of his shift.

"Cool, well then I'll see you then. I should get back to the institute before Alec sends a search party. I didn't tell him I was leaving, and you know how he worries… plus, I didn't do my paperwork," he said with a wink as he made his way back to the door. Simon chuckled and waved the other boy out.

"See ya later." He slumped back against the counter and closed his eyes for a minute, willing away the tiredness. He pulled out the flask that Magnus has magicked for him to keep his blood fresh and warm and took a small sip. He grimaced and took another sip, willing it to stay down so he would at least take the edge off his hunger and his tiredness.

"The shadowhunter is correct, you look pale, daylighter," a voice said from behind him.

Simon jumped and spun around, almost dropping his open flask as he stared wide eyed at Raphael. It took a minute for his brain to catch up with him and for him to respond in any fashion.

"What are you doing here? Don't you have anything better to do than sneak up on people?" he asked.

"If you were any good at being a vampire, you would have already known I was here," his Sire said, ignoring his question and looking at him intently. "Are you ill?" he asked looking the fledgling up and down critically. Simon could not hold his gaze when his dark eyes returned to meet his and he looked down at the floor shrugging his shoulders.

"I'm fine," he lied, staring at the scuffed toe of his converse sneakers. He jumped when he felt a soft hand on his chin, lifting his head up until he met Raphael's intense gaze again.

"I do not believe you," he said, moving his hand to cup Simon's cheek. The fledgling leaned into the touch instinctively, his body craving the contact his Sire had initiated. "You do not look fine." Simon felt his temper flare a bit, but he was having conflicting feelings. He wanted to step back and lash out but at the same time he did not want to lose the comfort that the hand on his cheek was providing. In the end, he chose to compromise, staying where he was but still speaking his mind.

"What do you want Raphael? You haven't so much as initiated contact or looked my way in months and now you show up at my job, out of nowhere, asking about my health. What does it matter if I'm ill or not? You haven't shown an ounce of interest in anything I've done or been through since you banned me from the hotel. So why are you here now?" he asked softly. The other vampire quirked his eyebrow but remained silent for several minute before stepping back, leaving Simon feeling cold at the loss of his touch.

"I am… not sure myself. I felt the need to see you, but I can't say for certain what brought on that desire. Perhaps it was brought on by our unexpectedly seeing each other at the Hunter's Moon. Perhaps I am somehow feeling that something is not right with you and my blood in your veins is calling us together. I can not give you an answer if I am not even aware of the reason for my visit this evening."

Simon's shoulders slumped as he leaned heavily against the counter. He raised the flask to his lips and took another sip of the blood contained within, still trying to ward off the tiredness that was creeping in on him, before closing the lid and putting it back in his pocket. His gaze settled back on Raphael as he tried to decide what he was supposed to do with this…but try as he might, his brain would not provide him with a solution to his waring emotions.

"Go away Raphael," he ended up voicing before his brain could catch up with his mouth. "Just…don't bother. I'm fine. Just…go. I can't do this right now," he concluded tiredly as he moved to put up the closed sign. He held the door open and motioned his Sire out. Raphael paused part way out the door and gazed intently at him for several seconds but chose to leave without saying another word.

Simon locked the door behind him and took a deep breath to hold the nausea, that had been steadily making itself known, at bay. He quickly closed the register, took the drawer back to the safe in the office and grabbed his jacket. He had just enough time upon exiting the shop to lock the door before he felt the bile rise in his throat. He quickly made his way to the side ally and emptied the contents of his stomach behind the dumpster. He spent several minutes dry heaving and trying to get himself under control before he stood, wiping his mouth on his sleeve, and heading back toward the loft and the promise of a night spent with Jace watching stupid TV. He did not notice the pair of dark eyes watching his exit from the shop in the shadows of the fire escape of the building next door.

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Jace looked up from his spot sprawled on the couch as Simon made his way into the apartment, kicking his shoes off in the entry way as he went.

"Get done early dude?" the blonde asked, looking at the clock to check the time.

"I closed early, I needed to get out of there. Hold on, I gotta do something really quick," Simon answered as he made his way to the bathroom. He made quick work of brushing his teeth and swishing some water about his mouth before making his way back to the living room and throwing himself down on the couch, his arm coming up to cover his face. "I hate my life," he groaned as he shifted about to get more comfortable. He settled with his head in Jace's lap, looking up at the beautiful boy above him miserably.

"Um…okay…did something happen?" Jace asked in confusion. "I mean, I literally just left you like forty-five minutes ago." Simon huffed.

"You did, but literally as soon as you left, Raphael tried to scare the shit out of me by sneaking up on me at the store," he exclaimed. "If I was alive, I may have had a heart attack," he added, clutching at his chest dramatically. Jace was looking at him wide eyed.

"Raphael? Raphael showed up at your job? Out of nowhere? What did he want?" the blonde asked in surprise.

"I don't know! He asked if I was ill. I guess he was there for a while. He heard our conversation because after you left, he agreed with you that I looked pale and he asked if I was ill." Simon ran his hand through his hair in irritation. "I asked him why he cared and what did it matter since he obviously had no interest in my life prior to this. He said he didn't know why he was there. He just felt like he needed to see me! Like something was not right with me and he was feeling a pull… like his blood in my veins was calling to him." He threw his hands up in frustration and met Jace's mismatched eyes. "What does that even mean?!"

"Well, is something wrong with you?" Jace asked curiously. "I don't know much about vampires, but it sounds like something that could be legit. You share his blood so it would make sense that he would be able to tell in some fashion if something wasn't right with you. I mean, I think it makes sense," he said shrugging his shoulders. Simon was contemplating his reply when the front door flew open, and Magnus stalked into the loft looking positively frightening. He stood in front of the couch, hands on his hips, and pointed at Simon accusingly.

"Simon Lewis!" he said with deadly calm, drawing himself up to his full imposing height. "Tell me why I just got a call from Raphael telling me that he saw you throwing up in the ally outside your job tonight!" The warlock narrowed his eyes at the fledgling before continuing. "He said you looked pale, paler than is normal, and that you seemed to 'not quite be yourself' when he saw you earlier. Are you still sick!?"

Simon gulped and shrank back a bit into Jace's side. He glanced up at the blonde and found those gorgeous eyes narrowed slightly as he watched the exchange. Simon sighed and sat up so he could look at both of them.

"Yes," he said meekly. "I'm still sick." You could hear a pin drop with how quiet the apartment was. Jace's eyes widened, and Magnus looked to be going back and forth between worry and anger and possibly also hurt. Jace reached out and put a hand on Simon's should, drawing his gaze back to the blonde.

"For how long?" he asked.

"I don't know… a few weeks maybe… it was fine at first, really it was. I was keeping the blood down for the most part and I felt better. But after a week or two, I started only being able to keep down a sip maybe two and usually I would be sick within half an hour of eating. The burning sensation has just started coming back recently. I… I didn't want to worry you guys. And I guess some part of me felt like I deserved it…" Simon trailed off and looked down so that he didn't have to see the hurt and anger in their eyes.

"Honey," Magnus said as he crouched down in front of Simon. "Why would you think you deserve something like this? You've done nothing to warrant such a punishment. You could have come to us. Of course, we would be worried and of course we would drop everything to try to help but we wouldn't even think twice about it. You are part of the family now whether you like it or not and family helps family no matter what," the warlock said as he tucked some hair behind Simon's ear and settled his hand on his neck in a comforting gesture.

"I don't deserve you guys," Simon admitted, feeling guilty now for hiding this from them. What was wrong with him that he couldn't tell the people who had proved how much they cared for him that he wasn't yet in the clear. Why did his brain always try to sabotage him when he was just starting to get comfortable and trust people again? He saw Jace shift out of the corner of his eye and looked up at the blonde who had just twisted so he was facing him.

"You're an idiot Si," he said as he punched his shoulder lightly. "Why in the world would you not say something? We've literally spent the last like three weeks together talking about way deeper shit than this! If I can tell you about my feelings, then you sure as hell could have told me you were starving yourself!"

"I'm sorry," Simon apologized. "I'm not good at this. This is the point where I am usually packing my shit up and running away. It may not seem like it, but me still being here is a HUGE accomplishment to me." He was surprised when he found himself with an armful of warlock, hugging him tightly.

"Sweetheart, that is huge. But right now, we need to fix you again and this time, you have to tell us when things aren't going well so we can actually get you better."

"You can drink from me again," Jace offered. "Or we can call Raphael since he seems to be concerned as well. I mean, he didn't kill you when he surprised you at work. Maybe he would be amenable to helping you?"

Magnus seemed excited by that option as he pulled his phone out.

"Yes, we should call Raphael!" he exclaimed waiving the phone in front of Simon. "He did call me to tell me he was worried about you after he saw you throwing up. I think if we asked, he might actually come. And his blood would completely cure your condition. Tell me what you want to do Simon and we'll do it," he said, looking between his phone and the fledgling hopefully. Simon didn't know what the answer should be. He looked at Jace, but the blonde just shrugged his shoulders and Magnus obviously wanted him to choose Raphael.

"Fine… you can call Raphael and see if he will help," he conceded as Magnus clapped his hands and hugged him again before bouncing up to make the call. He returned a few minutes later to inform them happily that Raphael was willing to come and hear them out before deciding if he would offer his assistance. Simon slumped back onto the couch, trying to decide what exactly he was feeling, and waited for his Sire to arrive.

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About twenty minutes later, there was a knock at the door startling Simon from his daze. Magnus got up from the armchair and made his way to the entry way. Simon shot up from his position leaning against Jace's side when he heard who it was.

"Now is really not a good time, biscuit" Magnus said with a hint of agitation. Simon turned wide eyes to Jace who looked just as surprised by the declaration that Clary was at the door.

"I need to see Simon, Magnus. I know he's here," Clary said sharply.

"You're not welcome here biscuit, you need to go," Magnus shot back just as sharply. There was silence for a minute and then Clary's voice travelled into the living area loudly.

"Simon!" she called. "Simon come on, I need to talk to you. It's really important," she yelled. Simon narrowed his eyes and clenched his fist before he rose quickly. It was time to put an end to this. He was done with her. She couldn't just pop back into his life when it was convenient for her. Jace stood next to him and put a hand on his shoulder in support, silently letting him know that he would back him up no matter what. Simon made his way to the door quickly and opened it wide so that he could see the red head on the other side. She smiled brightly and took a step forward but stopped short as he leveled a cold glare at her.

"What do you want Clary?" he said in a steely voice.

"Simon," she said, reaching her hand toward him. "I came to see you. I wanted to apologize. I want us to be friends again," she said smiling at him and batting her eyelashes. He heard Jace huff in irritation behind him and he echoed the sentiment.

"We are not friends Clary. We stopped being friends the day you threw me aside like a piece of trash in favor of your own misguided ideals. Go home," he said stiffly.

"You don't mean that Simon. Come on, we're best friends. We just had a little fight is all. We always make up in the end. Now come on, let's go get caught up. You can tell me everything I've missed. How's Rebecca doing at college? How's your mom's job? What about you? Are you still making music? Tell me everything," she said, her voice dripping with sugar. She took a step back when Simon actually bared his fangs and growled at her.

"No! You don't get to pretend that this is some stupid fight like when we were little kids," he yelled, causing her to jump in surprise. "You don't get to just come back whenever you want and demand I be your friend. I am not some plaything that you can bend to your will!" Simon felt Jace's hand on his shoulder, squeezing tightly, and Magnus came to stand next to him in support as he continued. "You want to catch up, lets catch up! After you threw me away, I got kicked out of the clan and banned from the hotel. I ran away from everyone else because they were connected with you and I didn't want to get hurt again. I was living in an abandoned building down the street from my mom's house. And if you were really my friend at all, you would already know that mom and Rebecca are DEAD! They were murdered weeks ago," he stepped forward as her eyes widened in shock at the last bit of news. "I lost everything! All because I couldn't 'bare to lose the only normal thing in my life! So thank you Clary. Thanks for being such a good friend. Thanks for looking out for me. Thanks for caring about what happens to me. You exceeded all expectations. Now please leave. I don't want to see you…EVER again," he said forcefully.

"But Simon," she pleaded, but was cut off by a cold voice from behind her.

"I believe my fledgling has told you to leave… NOW," Raphael's cold voice echoed in the empty hallway.

Clary jumped and whirled around to stare wide eyed at the other vampire. Her surprise quickly turned to anger, and she glared as she took a shaky step toward him.

"You!" she said sounding a bit hysterical. "This is your fault. You turned him against me. You did this!"

"ENOUGH!" Simon shouted making everyone jump and look at him. He leveled his gaze at Clary. "Leave now Clary or Magnus will activate his wards and you will be ejected from the building." She looked ready to argue again but thought better of it and quickly pushed her way past Raphael and stormed to the elevator, disappearing from site as the doors dinged shut.

Simon was exhausted. That was definitely harder than it should have been. He turned to go back into the apartment, but his knees buckled, and he felt himself start to fall… only to be held up by strong arms. Jace was next to him, swinging his arm around his broad shoulders and helping him back down the hallway to the couch. The others followed behind, Magnus pausing to adjust his wards so that Clary would not be able to enter the building again after this. He excused himself to go call Alec and let him know what had happened while the others got situated. Raphael took a seat in the armchair facing the couch and raised his eyebrow as he watched Jace sit and arrange Simon comfortable against his side, the fledgling's legs stretched out in front of him and his head on Jace's shoulder.

"I think," he began softly, "You should start at the beginning and tell me exactly what has happened," he said eyeing Simon pointedly. "I believe there is much to hear, pequeno."

Simon looked at his Sire tiredly and launched into the story. He told him about his life after he left the hotel. About what had happened with Clary. How he had run and how he had ended up living in an abandoned building. About how he wasn't eating properly but was getting by. About how his sister and mother had been murdered and about how he had ended up at Magnus's door, an emotional wreck, after finding their bodies in his childhood home. He told him about what Magnus and Alec had done for him, about reconnecting with Izzy and then eventually Jace. And then he started in on the topic of his current predicament… his inability to keep anything down and his gradual starvation of his body. He explained what was in Magnus's book about the illness and that they had attempted to cure him by drinking from Jace but that it had only partly worked before the symptoms had returned. And he told him about not telling the others that he was still ill because of the guilt and because, somewhere in his brain, he felt that he deserved to be punished for everything he had done. Raphael listened intently to everything he said, stopping him occasionally to ask questions or clarify, and when Simon finally came to the end, he sat back heavily in his chair, a thoughtful look on his face.

"I have heard of such cases as these but it has been quite a long time since anyone has actually witnessed a vampire living it. I am sorry that you have had to go through this, pequeno. I would have come had you called and had I known the severity of the illness. While I was angry and hurt at your decisions, I would not have let you die simply because your body could not retain proper nutrition. I admit that I am a stubborn man, and I do not take betrayal lightly and for that I can only apologize. I forget what it is like being a newly turned vampire and how unsettling it is… I do not think I can fault you for wanting to keep your best friend to make the transition easier. And having heard your side of the story, I can see why you made the decisions you did even if I do not necessarily agree with them."

"I'm sorry, Raphael," Simon said softly. "Truly, I am. If I could go back and do things differently, I would. I would change so many things." Raphael nodded and hummed quietly in response. Next to Simon, Jace lifted his hand and started running his fingers through the vampire's loose curls, making Simon relax against him even more than he already was. The blonde's mismatched eyes met Raphael's and he asked the question that everyone wanted to know the answer to.

"So… will you help Simon then?" Raphael looked at them both and then to Magnus who was just coming back into the room from the balcony, his phone call with Alec concluded, and nodded.

"Yes, I will help Simon."