Chapter 7: Lexa

O and I sleep in until around noon. Then, over brunch, we talk about how much fun we had last night and plan what we want to do tonight. Finally, O says, "Speaking of last night…what was the deal with that song? And what was the conversation with Finn about afterward?"

"It was just a song, nothing more."

"Right! In that case, why were you staring at Clarke the entire time you were singing it?"

"I didn't realize I was. I was just looking over at all of you all."

"Whatever! We will circle back to this conversation at another time when you are ready to tell me the truth."

I smirk, shaking my head while she goes on to say that there is a great Mexican restaurant that she and her friends like to go to that's right on the beach, but it is about a half-hour away. So we decide to meet up with everyone there around seven tonight, and then she says there is another dance club nearby that we can go to after dinner. I tell her that sounds good but that I need to run home and grab some more clothes, but I would be back here at six to pick her up.

I text Ash: 'Hey, on my way home.'

Ash: 'k, see you soon.'

When I get back to Ash's, I find her shooting basketball. I stand at the door and watch for a few minutes and realize that she never misses. As I stand and watch, I wonder why she didn't go to college and play basketball instead of joining the Navy. I bet she could have gone anywhere she wanted and then on to the pros.

I'm shaken from my thoughts when the ball hits me in the stomach. I grunt, "What the hell?"

Ash is laughing, "It isn't nice to lurk in the doorway."

"Sorry, it's just I haven't seen you or anyone for that matter shoot a basketball. We only played soccer in the desert. You're outstanding. Why didn't you go to college and play?"

"I was expected to join the military, so I didn't really have a choice."

"I bet you still could if you wanted to. Looks to me like you've still got it."

"Thanks, but I just like to play around now, maybe some pickup games but nothing too serious. It's fun for me but also therapeutic. When I need to think, I like to come here and shoot around and clear my head."

I smile at her, "I understand. I usually either run or work out to clear my head. I will leave you to it then."

"No, stay and shoot around with me."

We spend the next couple of hours shooting basketball. As we shoot around, we talk about last night. I tell her about my night, leaving out the part about getting on stage and singing. Then she tells me about hers. She seems pretty torn on what to do about Asher and Callie. She says that no matter what happens, she wants to be a mommy to Asher because he is innocent in all of this. I ask her if that's really what she wants, or is she doing it because it's what everyone expects her to do? She says that at one time that is all she wanted was to settle down with Callie and have a family, but now she isn't sure.

I ask her, "Ash, am I the reason you aren't sure anymore?"

She says, "No, sweetie. It isn't you, well, not just you. Even though I know the truth about what happened with Callie back then, I still can't forget how I felt. I don't know if I can really ever trust her again, but I know I can trust you, and I love you."

"I love you too, Ash, but I don't want you to choose me because you think I am the safe choice. I want you to choose me because I'm the only one for you. If you have doubts about that, then maybe I'm not the one. I have no doubt that as of right now about you. Right now, I feel like no matter how many people I date, if there is a choice, I will always choose you."

"Lexa, how can you say that? You haven't ever known anyone but me. How can you be certain that I am the one for you, and what about Asher? We are sort of a package deal now. He will always be a part of my life."

"Ash, that doesn't matter to me as long as I have you. Look, I understand that I'm young and have only known you, but you are the only person who knows the real me. You know everything that I have been through, and you accept me. Not to mention everything we have been through together. I just don't know if anyone who hasn't been through what we have will understand and accept me the way you do, but I want you to take all the time you need. Maybe I can't say for absolute certain, but as of right now, I will always choose you. I will be here. I'm not going anywhere even if we aren't together, and if you choose Callie, I will still need you in my life. I guess it's like your mom and Abby keep saying, 'If it's meant to be, then it will be!'"

"Lexa, it's not fair for me to ask you to wait around on me to decide what I want."

"Ash, you aren't asking me too. I'm choosing to, but at the same time, I'm going to go out and have fun. I'm not limiting myself to you until you tell me that I'm the one you want, I'm going to go out and have fun and do what makes me happy, and I want you to do the same."

Ash's head snaps toward me, "Um…does that mean that you have met someone already?"

"What? I…I mean, I met a bunch of people last night at the club. Mostly they were friends of Octavia's, but I did dance with a few others."

While we talk, Ash teaches me how to shoot and a couple of what she calls post moves. By the time we finish, I have the hang of shooting within about five feet of the goal. Ash says that I would make a good post player. I look at the time and tell her that I need to shower and get ready because I have to pick up O at six.

She looks at me with a sad look and says, "Oh, I thought we could maybe catch a movie or something tonight."

I reply, "Um, I'm sorry. It's just that we planned to grab dinner with some friends from last night and then go dancing. Can we maybe hang out on Saturday, instead?"

"I already promised Asher that I would hang out with him all day Saturday, but I bet he wouldn't mind if you came along."

I smile and say, "No, you need time to bond with him, and I would just be in the way. How about we plan on spending the day together on Sunday?"

"Sure, that sounds good. Will you be home tonight?"

"I doubt it. Like I said, we are going to dinner and then dancing. You can come if you want."

"I don't know, you seem to be making some friends, and I don't want to get in the way."

"Ash, you are never in the way. Why don't I text you where we end up dancing? If you want to join us for a while, that would be great, but if not, that is fine too."

"Okay, but I'm not promising anything."

She continues to shoot basketball while I head to get ready. I grab a shower and then try and decide on something to wear. Usually, I would have Ash pick out my outfit, but…I decide on a pair of black skinny jeans paired with a pink V-neck t-shirt, a pair of black and white high-top converse, and of course, my leather jacket. Next, I head up to the kitchen to grab something to drink before heading out and find Ash and Amelia sitting at the table talking.

Amelia looks up at me and says, "You look nice, Lexa. What do you have planned for this evening?"

I can feel my cheeks blush, "Thanks, Amelia. I'm meeting Octavia and some people I met last night for dinner and then dancing. Ash, I will text you when I know where we are going dancing so that you can meet us if you want to." Ash just nods her head as I grab a drink from the fridge and go back downstairs. I grab my overnight bag and head to the jeep.