Chapter 31: Lexa

The following day, I wake up early and hear Clarke softly snoring. I get up quietly and write her a quick note saying that I will be up on the helipad training, leaving the message and a rose on the pillow next to her. Then I head up to the gym to warm up on the treadmill before meeting Jose upstairs for a bit of capoeira training. I use my time on the treadmill to think about last night. I can't get that kiss out of my head, and I don't know what to do. Usually, I would call Abby, but I don't think that would be too smart in this case. I finally decide to stop by and see if O is up before meeting up with Jose. Of course, she's still sleeping, and I can't call Ash. I wonder if Blake can talk. Nope, he doesn't answer either. Okay, so maybe I should contact Abby. I mean, she is Clarke's mom. Nope, I get her voicemail. I leave a message just saying hello and hope she is well.

I guess Jose is going to be the lucky one who gets to be my sounding board today. As we start with the basic Ginga, which is basically like a dance move, but it is the movement every other move in Capoeira is based on, I replay to Jose about last night with Clarke and the kiss. He is quiet at first, just smiling at me, which is a little unnerving. Finally, he says, "Maybe because you haven't kissed many people, they all seem special to you."

"No, trust me. I have kissed more girls than you think. Remind me one day to tell you about the three years I spent as Alexander Shahir Jones or the first night I went to the Dragon's Den. Now that was a crazy night. Besides, when I kissed Allie, it was nice but nothing like Ash or Clarke. Now that I think about it, the other night when Ash and I were together, I don't remember there being that spark or fireworks. Instead, she felt safe, like I was coming home. Which at the time I didn't think much about but now, I don't know?"

Jose laughs, "Maybe it just means that she is like your home. You feel safe with her, and because you have never really had a home of your own, she became home to you. Do you understand?"

"No, not really."

"Okay, I will try to explain. A home is somewhere you feel safe, a place where you can go when everything seems out of control. A home is a place where you can live, laugh, and learn. It's somewhere where you are loved, respected, and cared for. For you, instead of a house or building, maybe it is Ash because until you met her, you didn't have any of those things. Maybe, to begin with, you thought it was love, but now that you have been around other people and experienced having friends, you are beginning to realize that the reason you felt those things for Ash was that she was the first person that made you feel completely safe and cared for. So, now she represents a home, your safe place, a place you feel happy, and when things get out of control, you know she will be there for whatever you need, which in your case seems to be connection or sex."

"I guess that could be true. I'm just so confused! Up until I kissed Clarke, I would have sworn that Ash was my soul mate, the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Now, I'm not sure. I already feel more connected to Clarke than I ever did to Ash. I don't know how to explain it other than when I kissed Clarke, I found a piece of myself that I didn't know was missing. I want to try with Clarke, but I'm not sure the timing is right."

"Timing is something that you can't control. You need to talk to Clarke. See what she is feeling and maybe do it without alcohol this time. Then maybe you need to have a conversation with Ash, as well."

I nod at him as he continues, "You know, my mother used to believe that your body and heart always knew more about what you need than your head. She said if you let your head lead you in matters of the heart, you will always fail because your head overthinks everything. On the other hand, your heart knows when it has found your 'alma gemela' or, as you would say, soulmate. When your heart finds its other half (alma gemela), it lets you know by the way it makes you feel. I haven't personally found my alma gemela, but it sounds like the way you speak of fireworks, sparks, and electricity that maybe your heart has found yours."

I laugh and thank him. He really is a smart guy when it comes to these things. We continue to train, practicing different moves. Jose takes me through some actions based on the Aú, which is the capoeira term for what is more generally known as a cartwheel. It differs a bit from the traditional cartwheel because of its different intentions. An aú, in its base form, is performed very slowly, with arms and legs bent to keep a low target profile. Fighters sometimes pause midway through an aú holding it for a handstand position, from which they can execute a wide variety of moves. Such as the the aú batido. It is an aú variation where a practitioner does a handstand, followed by a twist with the hips and a split, performing a downward martelo, which literally means "hammer." It is generally defined as a strike with the instep or lower part of the shin against the opponent's body; the most common target is the temple of the head. During the kick, one arm is protecting the face while the other obviously supports the body. Aú batido literally means "broken cartwheel."

Around noon, Clarke wandered up and took a seat. I was going to stop training, but Jose was just about to show me how to perform the Meia Lua de Compasso, a move I was really interested in. The Meia-Lua de compasso (compass half-moon) is an attack that embodies the true element of Capoeira since it combines an evasive maneuver with a spinning kick. The transfer of power begins with the hand slamming into the ground. Then ends with the spin of the kicking heel. The power of the kick derives its energy from the similar centripetal force of a golf club swing. It has earned its place in Capoeira as being called the "king of kicks."

Jose shows me how to perform the move, and I practice it for about twenty minutes before I really get the hang of it. Normally, I would continue practicing the movement until I could perform it flawlessly, but since Clarke was here, I decided to call it a day. I thank Jose and ask him if he would train with me in the mornings up until the fight. Of course, he agrees.

I walk over to Clarke just as she got to her feet, "Did you sleep okay?"

She blushed, "I must have died when I hit the bed. I'm sorry that I slept most of the day away. Um…thanks for…for everything last night and the flower this morning. It was nice waking up to it lying on the pillow."

"It's fine. You needed the sleep. As for the flower, I thought you needed it as well. Besides, I kept myself occupied. Are you hungry? I can get Petrona to whip us up some brunch."

"Actually, I'm starving."

"Me too. I will text Petrona on the way down to my room. I really need a shower. What would you like to eat? I usually have a cheese omelet with salsa on the side, but I think I might add a steak to my order today. Petrona can make anything, so just let me know what you want."

"Um…I think I will have a ham, cheese, and bacon omelet."

I text Petrona our order and ask her to bring it down to my room. When we make it back to my room, I tell her to make herself at home and watch tv or whatever. I grabbed some clean underwear and head to the shower. When I exit the bathroom in my sports bra and boxer briefs, I find Clarke lying on the couch where I had slept, watching some game show. I take a moment, standing in the doorway, looking at how beautiful she is, laying there in my t-shirt and shorts. Her curly blonde hair was wild and untamed but still looked terrific, caressing her round face.

She finally noticed me and started to stutter, "Um…why…why are you standing there staring at me in your underwear?" I watch as her eyes take in my athletic body, stopping on my muscular abs that were still glistening with water before continuing down and then back up to my lips. She looked like she was sizing me up, but it's not like she hasn't seen my body before. I mean, she was in the room when I had the physical yesterday.

"Well…I was on my way to the closet to get dressed, but when I saw you lying there, I became distracted, so I stopped to admire the most beautiful woman I've ever seen lying on my couch. Why are you looking at me like you've never seen me before?"

Before she could answer there was a knock on the door and my phone started to ring. It was Abby. "Ya Amar, can you get the door while I get dressed? Just tell Petrona to put the food on the table." I ran into the closet, throwing on some black skinny jeans, a pink tank top, and my black Doc Martin boots while answering the phone. "Hello, Abby. How are you?"

"I'm fine Lexa, what's up?"

"Um…what do you mean? I just called to check in with you and see how you are."

"Really? I don't believe that for a minute. What's really up? Is it something to do with Ash?"

"Actually, no. I was going to get some advice about someone else, but…well…."

Clarke yells, "Hey, the food is going to get cold. Are you coming?"

"Yeah, be there in a minute. I'm on the phone."

Abby is laughing through the phone, "Is that Clarke? Seriously, you're calling me about her, aren't you?"

"Well, yeah. But…I mean, who else could I call. Octavia was asleep, Blake didn't answer, and I can't talk to Ash about it. I realize it complicates things because she is your daughter, but…well, I want her to give me a chance, a real chance."

"Look, I don't know what is going on between you and Ash or you and Clarke. All I can say is communication. You need to communicate with them both. I have to go. There is a trauma coming in."

"Okay, one last thing, though. Is it okay with you if I date your daughter if she will?"

"That is between you and Clarke. I will talk to you later."

I head out to the table, sit down, and start eating when I notice she's only picking at her food while I'm devouring mine.

"What's wrong? I thought you were hungry."

"I was, but now I can't get out of my head. I talked to my mom this morning before I came upstairs and told her about breaking up with Finn."

I literally spit out a mouthful of water, "What? You talked to Abby already this morning?"

"Well, yes. She's my mom."

"Why? And why did you just spit water everywhere when I mentioned my mom?"

"Um…no reason. Sorry, continue. How did Abby take the news?"

"She was surprisingly okay with it. I told her about how he had been cheating on me. It sort of sounded like she already knew or at least had some idea. Then she asks me a crazy question. She asked me if the reason I finally broke up with him was that I found someone else? Can you believe that?"

"Um…well, Abby is surprisingly good at reading people. Plus, she probably knows you better than anyone, so yeah, I can believe it. What did you tell her?"

"I…I told mom that I had met someone who was unlike anyone I'd ever met. I told her that this person was kind, caring, thoughtful, attentive, extremely handsome, had an amazing body and that I wanted to get to know them better. Do you know what she asked me next? She asked me if I was talking about you? How does she do that?"

I choke on my swallow of orange juice, "Wh…What…you mean…does that mean you felt something also last night? Did you tell her it was me? What did she say? Did she tell you not to even think about getting involved with me?"

She snorts, "Of course, I felt something last night. I'm simply terrified of what it means. I mean, I just broke up with Finn and…Yes, I told her that it was you. She just laughed at me. When I asked why she said she was surprised that it had taken me this long to realize that I might like women. She said she has known for a long time that I wasn't happy with Finn and always thought I would be happier dating someone else, but she didn't want to interfere. She also said that she thought that you were someone who would get my attention."

"So, I guess she told you not to get involved with me, that she wants you to be with someone normal, not someone who is from where I am? That I'm not good enough for you?"

"What? Of course not! She told me that I should do what makes me happy. Even when I told her that I was afraid that you were still in love with Ash. She told me that I would never know if I didn't take a chance. Why would you think that she would say any of that? You know she cares about you."

"Yeah, but there is a difference between caring about someone and being okay with them dating your daughter, especially when she knows everything about me. I mean, she's who I called when something wasn't right between Ash and me for advice. When I say she knows everything about me, I mean everything except what I told you last night. She knows about my time with Ash. Hell, she even helped me set up our first date! That's why I said that."

"When I told her about being scared of you choosing Ash if given a choice, she asked me if we had already been together. First, I couldn't believe she would ask me that, but I told her the truth. I told her that you kept your distance because I was with Finn, and it wasn't until last night that we had even been alone together. Her response 'that sounds like Lexa. She never wants to be the cause of anyone getting hurt, so it makes sense that she would stay away.' Then I told her about the kiss and what you said after it about Ash."

"So, you told her that I was confused and wasn't sure about Ash? I bet then she told you to stay away and let me figure things out before you…."

She interrupts, "Would you just stop? Why do you think that you aren't good enough for me? Let me finish, please. She said that I would never know if I didn't take a chance. She said that she knows you well enough to know that you will go as slow as I need, and you would never intentionally hurt me."

"Wow, I can't believe she said that, but she's not wrong. I also can't believe she didn't mention any of this a little while ago when I had her on the phone. I can be as patient as you need me to. Does this mean…does this mean you want to explore what we felt last night?"

"I…I think it means that I'm open to the possibility, but I'm not exactly sure what that means. Wait…did you say you were just on the phone with my mother? Why did my mother call you?"

"Um…I just told you that Abby's the one I always call when I need relationship advice. I tried calling her earlier this morning, but she didn't answer, so I left her a message asking how she was doing, and she called me back just now. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have called her. I just didn't know what to do or have anyone else to talk to about the kiss, but I didn't tell her about it. I promise. She actually kinda blew me off. Now I know why. Please don't be mad."

She laughs, "I'm not, just surprised. I guess I should just be glad you are freaked out about it too. I'm still not sure what it means, though. I just need some time."

"No problem, would you be open to the possibility of spending today with me?"

"That depends on what you have in mind."

"I was thinking about taking my new motorcycle for a drive down the coast a bit. I haven't had the time to ride it yet, and I really haven't seen much of the scenery other than the bars and clubs. We could go by the bike shop, pick you up a helmet, and we could both get some gear. Then maybe you could show me around a bit. How does that sound?"

"Um…I don't know about motorcycles. They kind of scare me."

"I promise to be safe and go as slow as you need me to."

"Fine, but I need to go home first and change."

"How about I ride with you to your house, and on the way back, we stop by the bike shop and get the gear we need. I have some phone calls to make. I can do that while you do what you need to do at your house."

"Okay, sure."

When we arrive at Clarke's house, I sit on the couch and start on my list of people I need to contact about the fight. First, I text Captain Miguel and let him know that he will need to make sure the ship and crew are ready for the party after the fights and for the cookout on Sunday. I let him know that Reed and Jose will be with me from Friday at nine am until after the cookout on Sunday, the fight weekend.

Next, I call Mickey. "Hey, Mickey, Stryker here. Look, I was asked by Dana with the UFC to step in last minute and fight. I thought you might want to make some money by betting on me to win. Anyway, I have you and Sloan tickets if you would like to come."

He replies, "Are you kidding me? How did you manage to get a fight in the UFC? Whatever it doesn't matter, I would love to come, but I have fights scheduled on Saturday, and I have to be here for them. I will, however, let Sloan off so that she can go and place bets for me. I'm not about to miss the opportunity to make some of the money back you cost me last weekend."

"Great, will you let Sloan know if she wants to ride with us to be at the yacht on Friday before the fight at nine a.m."

"Will do. Good luck, kid!"

After I hang up with him, I sit there for a few minutes, figuring out what to say when I call Allie. I feel bad because I really did want to get to know her better, maybe even date her until that kiss last night. That one kiss has changed everything, and now I don't know what to do. On the one hand, we have only been out on one date, and I did tell her that I didn't want anything serious but then, on the other hand, isn't serious precisely what I think I want with Clarke. How do I explain that to Allie without hurting her feelings or pissing her off?

I finally decided to just call her and wing it. I dial her number, and she answers on the third ring. "Hello, Stryker. How was your trip?"

"It was good. I passed the physical, and I am good to go for the fight. I was able to get you a ticket to the fight if you would like to join the group and fly down with us Friday before the fight."

"About that… don't take this the wrong way. I had a great time with you and really want to go out with you again, but I just got a call from the PGA, and they want me on a plane tomorrow for England. Apparently, there is a tournament circuit for rookies, and they want me to play in it. It's a great opportunity for me, but I will be gone for at least a couple of months. I really can't afford to turn down this chance."

"I completely understand and wouldn't want you to pass up a chance to pursue your dreams. We can always catch up when you get back if you want."

"Definitely, and I will be watching you fight on TV. Good luck, my Stryker!"

"Good luck to you, too."

Once Clarke has everything, she needs we head to the bike store. We pick up what we need, head back to the yacht to change, and head down the coast. We spend the rest of the day riding along the coast and then stop for dinner at a small oceanside restaurant before heading back. I had a fantastic time on my new bike with Clarke's arms wrapped around me.

The next couple of weeks are filled with training sessions during the day then hanging out with my friends at night. Things are kinda tense between Clarke and Finn when he shows up. But luckily, he hasn't really been around that much. As far as Clarke and me, we have spent some time together but mostly just with the group. I think that she's still scared. I hope that when she is ready, we'll be able to explore our feelings for one another. Until then, I just decide to go with the flow and have fun. I don't want to pressure her.

Clarke

I have to admit, I had a great time with Lexa on her motorcycle. The problem is since then, I have been so busy at the hospital that I haven't really had time to see her that much. When I do, it is usually with the group. I actually miss her when I don't see her. I wish we could spend more time together alone, but she is busy training, and I have work. Plus, Finn is still coming around, and it makes things tense. I wish he would just stay the hell away, but he keeps showing up, trying to talk no matter how many times I tell him no. I'm worried that Lexa will eventually tire of him bugging me and end up saying something to him. So far, though, she has been respectful of my wish for time and space. I knew it was just a matter of time before Finn started something because I had been blowing him off and wouldn't talk to him.

It finally happened one night at the Dragon's Den when he showed up already drunk. He came over to where the group was already seated. He moved his chair so that it was between mine and Lexa's. I could tell by the look on her face she wasn't happy, but she didn't say anything right away. I could tell Finn was drunk, so I got up and went to the bar to put some space between us, but he followed me. He grabbed my hand and guided us to the end of the bar over by the restrooms, saying he wanted to talk.

Lexa

I'm stunned for a minute when I see Finn has Clarke cornered and just stand there until I snap out of it and realize what's happening. I ball up my fist and head toward Finn when Octavia grabs me and says to wait and see what happens. She says maybe if he gets it off his chest, he'll leave her alone. So, I move closer but wait to see how it plays out. I get a feeling of being scared, then angry. I don't understand where these emotions are coming from because I'm not frightened.

I'm not sure what she says, but he starts yelling at her, "You've got to be fucking kidding me. You broke up with me to be with because of that dyke! You are not like her! You love me, and we're going to have a family together. I'm eventually going to be President. You know that has always been our dream, kids, and the White House. Come on, we are leaving, now!"

Clarke pushes him away, "Finn, that was always your dream. You never asked me what I wanted, and until I met Lexa, I didn't know that I had a choice. We're done and have been for over a month. You were cheating on me! This has nothing to do with her and everything to do with you."

He says, "She's the one who told you all those lies about me cheating. Now I know why because she wants you since Ash threw her to the curb and went back to Callie. She's not going to be happy until she makes everyone miserable like she is. Now let's go."

He grabs her by the arm, starting to pull her away from the bar towards the door. She tries to jerk away from him, "I'm not going anywhere with you. Leave me alone."

"Bullshit, you will do as you are told like always!" Then he raises his hand like he is about to hit her. That's it I've seen enough; I pull away from O going to Clarke. I step between her and Finn and say, "Leave her the fuck alone, Finn! I know you were not about to hit her. I've already told you if you ever touch her again, I will kill you!"

He starts laughing, "If you so much as touch me, I will have your ass thrown in jail for assault."

Clarke steps up beside me, "It's okay, Lex, he isn't worth it. Finn, I think it is time for you to leave."

"I'm not leaving here without you. We need to talk. I will not let that bitch take advantage of you."

I take a step toward him, but Clarke grabs my wrist and says, "Finn, I'm not going anywhere with you ever again, especially while you're drunk. If you ever put your hands on me again, I won't stop her from kicking your ass once and for all." About this time, one of the bouncers came up and told Finn he had to leave and escorted him out but not before he screamed, "Bitch you haven't seen or heard the last of me."

Once he was gone, I looked at Clarke and ask her if she was okay. She just nods yes.