Came up with the worst crack theory other than the idea that Demyx could be TMoM. I thought 'What if Ephemer had body hopped like Luxu and is currently trolling about as Demyx?' It somehow feels like it would fit to a small extent, and I have been enjoying my 5am thoughts for a few days now, lol.
TW: Hints to vague dark/suicidal thoughts/'people will be ok without me' ideas on Sora's side. Sora swears once.
Please R&R!
I woke up in the trash and got adopted by the local trio.
xXx-xXx-awaken-xXx-xXx
Vanitas woke up bleary eyed and confused as he rubbed his eyes. He groaned as he tried to distance himself from the Memory his sleep had brought him.
When dummy dumb Sora as a young child Deep Dove into the Dark to retrieve him.
Something wasn't right about it, the way he'd been plunged into that Dream Memory. He had the feeling he'd been dreaming about something else when it was just… abruptly cut off. He couldn't even remember what had come before it.
His chest was tight with anxiety, and he had to breathe in consciously to fill his lungs.
It was as though Xehanort's boot were shoved into his diaphragm for another lesson about how failure was unacceptable.
Vanitas pushed himself up slowly and massaged his chest in memory. He closed his eyes. What's going on Sora?
Vanitas knew this anxiety wasn't only his own. That it was far too strong to simply be about Strelitzia and Lauriam. It was a fresh anxiety, horribly amped up by nauseating Memories he couldn't touch.
Something had been triggered within Sora.
Vanitas swallowed dryly before easing himself out of bed. He quietly took care of his morning ritual, cleaning and dressing himself before peeking into the kitchenette. All was quiet this early morning and he felt relieved. He noted the four extra bedrooms, each labeled with the occupant's name, and got to work making a pot of coffee.
He didn't care about making it for everyone, but if he was going to make a pot for himself, he'd learned that it was simply easier to make enough for everyone else.
Merlin may love his tea, but he indulged in coffee if it was there. Vanitas grimaced at the memory of the scolding he'd gotten for tormenting the Wizard with the lovely smell of morning brew, only to have none to satiate his pallet.
He vaguely wondered if any of the other Wielders drank coffee as the machine went through its brewing cycles before deciding he didn't give a shit. It'd be there either way.
He poured a cup and took a long deep sip, black with three sugars for today. It was better with cream, but sometimes the bitterness inside of him felt relief when his coffee wasn't so smooth and light.
His Flood moved over to him and gently nuzzled his ankle and calf, nearly earning a kick for their affections before Vanitas realized what was accosting him. "Hn." He sniffed with slight amusement, "Still here, huh?"
The Flood chittered at him and made grumbling purrs as they continued to shower his left leg with affection. He sighed tiredly and pulled out a piece of bread before munching on it in boredom as he mumbled, "At least you're happy."
The Flood scrambled up his leg and back to hang over his shoulder. They kept away from his coffee, knowing better than to investigate. They'd learned their lesson after the first time they'd been punted for getting their nose into their master's morning brew.
Vanitas exhaled heavily through his nose before he began to walk towards the entrance for Merlin's Pocket World. He opened the door and closed it quietly behind him and strolled through the early morning dew.
Eventually he ended up at his usual place and sat down on one of the logs with a pleasant view. He continued to nibble at his bread and set his coffee on his knee.
Why was he so weary, and why did he feel so old?
Vanitas frowned.
What was happening to Sora?
He thought he smelled gasoline and the copper of blood for a split second before the fragrant memory could be clarified. The smell of ocean and sand, of sun and decay made him wince.
The smell of sweat and blood, of sickness and-
Vanitas bit his cheek, "Enough!" He took a deep dreg of coffee to clear his mouth and mind.
The fuck was all of that about?
His Flood gently nudged his arm before slipping into his lap to lay across it. They sighed gratefully as their eyes slid closed and began to snooze. Vanitas raised an eyebrow at their behavior and shrugged.
He couldn't figure out his Unversed anymore.
Vanitas mumbled, "What have you gotten yourself into, Sora?"
A faint presence spoke with weeping innocence in the back of his mind.
Was it really so wrong?
Vanitas raised an eyebrow as he looked towards the warm colored sky of morning, "...Well. Shit happens when you break World binding Taboo's."
...I didn't know.
"Ignorance won't save you from World Law."
They were quiet for a long moment before the tiny voice spoke up again.
...Can I fix it?
Vanitas almost laughed crudely. He wanted to chuckle, maybe, but the energy simply wasn't there. "Don't know. Normally if you break those sorts of taboo's, you die. Yet, you're there."
Why can only Ava see me?
Vanitas shoved the final bite of his bread into his mouth and chewed methodically before swallowing, "Why was I the one who connected to you?"
The voice was quiet.
"Making the imaginary reality. It's a Magic within the scope of Illusions. But you have to be capable of having dreams for the future. Of not being encumbered by bitterness."
The voice, no, Sora was baffled. What's that got to do with anything?
"You asked how Ava might've been able to see you. I'm giving you my guess of an answer. The darkness loves preying on the imagination to build fear and despair. Despite the fact that it is so easily misconstrued by darkness, it's a 'trick' of the Light. Imagination is a twisted ability."
Sora's small voice was silent.
Oh.
Vanitas smiled ruefully. "What was that?" He felt Sora's confusion, "You pulled up a Memory from when you pulled me out of the Deep to put me back together. What's going on? Why do I keep smelling traces of blood?"
Sora's presence pulled away and became a speck.
I fought for Quadratum. Men died. Remembered stuff I witnessed on the Islands while growing up.
Vanitas tilted his head, "You had a tendency to find dead bodies or something?"
...Yeah. A little.
Oh. Well then. "That's fucked up, man." He could sense Sora chuckle awkwardly.
Can you blame me for not wanting to let my friends die, when I could maybe save them?
Vanitas snorted, "I mean, I'm all for breaking the rules, but fucking around with the laws of life and death are a bit more dire. Normally people don't get to the "find out'' stage of that one." He could feel Sora's presence try to pull away from him before he mentally reached back and dragged his presence closer.
He could feel Sora's surprise, but he wasn't going to let the idiot get away from him that easily. "Everything has consequences, right? Even good intentions can have dire consequences. You get what I mean?" Vanitas couldn't believe he was the one saying all of this.
He felt Sora's agreement.
"So then. If you went around reviving the dead wherever you went, wouldn't that change how the Worlds function?"
Sora seemed confused but attentive.
"Cults. Religions. Faith. You can seriously affect the balance of the World's inherent belief systems if you start raising the dead and shit. That's why death is usually permanent. Why the end is seen as an accepted inevitability in the grand scheme of the universe. What tyrant doesn't desire eternity?"
Xehanort's image easily popped up in their minds.
"Exactly! So then. How do you fix destroying yourself like that for breaking the taboo of the cycle of Life and Death to save your little friends? Don't know. But you've made the impossible possible before." He made himself comfortable by lifting his leg and laid his face against the palm of his propped hand while minding his Flood, "Who knows. Maybe all you have to do is start over from scratch. If you have to sacrifice what's left of your body, so long as your Heart's intact, we could always shove you into a Replica. Seems to've worked out for me."
He felt something like a chuckle from Sora.
Thanks Vanitas. That… kind of helps.
The Darkling shrugged, "Are scoldings things to be thankful for?"
Sora was silent, but the anxiety receded and he felt a foreign warmth.
Sometimes it's what we need. You're right- good intentions don't always mean the best results for the people around us. They can even cause harm.
He felt Sora sigh in lament.
...How were mom and dad?
Vanitas felt his stomach freeze as he turned his gaze to the grass below. So he was changing the subject, huh? "...They were kind. Looked healthy."
I'm glad.
"They miss you."
Did they like you?
"...For some crazy reason, yeah."
He felt Sora chuckle.
Good. Did you like them?
Vanitas felt his face warm up as his voice became dry, "Yeah." Why did he want to cry?
He felt a foreign form of love from Sora's end. It was cozy, like a cool fall morning wrapped in a warm blanket with hot cocoa in hand.
I'm happy you liked them. I hope, one day, we can all be a family again.
Vanitas felt a different sort of anxiety at the idea, "...I've never had a family before, Sora." He didn't deserve that.
I'm more than happy to share mine with you.
The Darkling swallowed hard and forced himself to finish his coffee before it became too cold. "They seem to like Roxas, Xion, and Naminé a lot too."
He felt Sora become even happier at that.
I'm so glad! At least-
Vanitas nearly threw his cup, but managed to barely keep from shattering his favorite mug with great restraint, "Sora. No one will ever replace you in our lives, let alone the lives of your parents. No One."
Sora's emotions disappeared for a moment.
I- I didn't mean it like that!
Vanitas breathed out shakily, "But you thought, for a split second, that it would be okay if you weren't here. If you didn't come back, that they would still be able to move on so long as the others were there in your place. Well, hate to break it to you, but even I want you to come back home." His throat hurt from emotional strain as his voice lost strength while he bowed his head in grief, "Even I want to be able to call you brother, for real, here, in the light of day with everyone around us." He wanted to say it to his face without mocking him.
Sora gasped softly, and something shifted.
...Right. I'll remember that, and hold you to it.
Vanitas's vision blurred as he sniffed and scrubbed at his eyes harshly with the back of his sleeve, "You better, idiot."
It's a promise.
xXx-xXx-awaken-xXx-xXx
Sora woke up neck deep in bath water.
"The fuck?"
Riku spluttered, "Sora!" He chuckled while covering his mouth in shock. Riku was in the middle of cleaning up, so if Sora was like this in the tub, that meant he'd been cleaned off by his friend.
That was kind of embarrassing, actually.
"How long was I passed out for?"
Riku poured water over himself to rinse off before shaking his head to dislodge some of the excess, "Forty minutes, give or take. We kind of freaked out. Ava requested that we clean things up when we're done so that she can wash up."
Sora flushed, "...Ooh." Now he felt bad. "Sorry."
Riku shrugged before moving over to the side of the tub, a wet towel wrapped around his waist as he knocked on the snout of the mask with his finger, "I couldn't wash your face or hair, so keep that in mind when you get out."
Sora nodded numbly, "...I'm surprised I didn't sink under."
Riku clicked his tongue, "You did, a few times."
Sora tilted his head, "Then why leave me in here?"
Riku shrugged as he hoisted him up. Sora belatedly realized he had a towel on himself as Riku answered. "You would've been cold."
"...Oh." He felt like jelly.
Riku poked him and Sora twitched and snipped, "What?"
"Move, I wanna soak for a bit too."
Sora nodded numbly and got out before taking Riku's previous place. "...I'm gonna take the mask off."
Riku settled into the water and nodded numbly, "...Got it."
Sora pulled the fox mask off and set it aside. He didn't look back, and simply picked up the shampoo he usually used and lathered his hair.
Riku couldn't help but muse, "It's really weird seeing a bottle float, product flow out, and then disappear."
Sora paused. Could he not see the suds? He shrugged and continued to massage his scalp, feeling more and more refreshed as he washed away hidden grime. He rinsed his hands and applied face soap, taking care to be thorough on not only his face but ears and neck before using the faucet head and rinsed off.
It must be a real trip to see, if Riku could only see parts of the process.
He shook his head to dislodge extra water when he was done rinsing, and gently wiped his face with a towel before using a light mix of Fire Magic and Aero to mostly dry out his hair before he lifted the mask. He looked it over and gently cleaned it with a washcloth and soap, and took care to get rid of anything unseemly before rinsing that off as well. He dried it thoroughly and with a final flash of Aero Magic, he made sure his hair was actually dry before he put it back on.
He turned back to his friend, "All clean."
Riku waved lazily, drowsiness clear in his eyes, "Yup. Good job."
Sora snorted before he picked up a fresh dry towel and covered himself while dropping the wet one. He moved to the partitioned part of the bathroom and moved the divider partially shut to dry off in privacy. His clothes had been cleaned, and he felt somewhat guilty again.
He was glad Vanitas had been there on the other side of his forgotten Memory to talk with him.
Sora dressed and poked his head out into the hall before slipping out, the door clicking shut quietly behind him.
He moved silently through the small apartment and noticed Ava dozing on a chair and frowned. He looked towards the fridge and went over to it before going through and finding various ingredients to put together. They'd need more food, now that Riku was with them.
Though he was mildly curious to know if Riku had gotten a place of his own while searching for him in Quadratum.
Where in the world had Riku lived, and what had he been doing during the year I was Asleep?
Questions for another time.
He absently began to put together his various dishes. He'd gotten a little too good at cooking while zoned out, so when Ava popped up beside him in curiosity, he almost threw the bowl he'd been mixing, "Ava!"
Ava flushed lightly for startling him, "Sorry! Didn't realize I'd snuck up on you!"
Sora shrugged and continued mixing, "It's okay, and thank you for letting Riku and I bathe first."
Ava nodded, "You're welcome. You need any help?"
Sora shook his head, "Nah, I'm fine."
Ava hummed as she held her hands behind her back while observing him. It didn't really bother him, since he'd learned the majority of his skills while being controlled by Little Chef, so he was used to being supervised under pressure.
Ava gently asked, "Do you feel alright?"
Sora paused before he poured out his mixture into an appropriate pan, "...Sorry about earlier."
Ava was quiet for a while as he continued to move around the kitchen with ease before she spoke, "It's alright. It's hard for me too."
Sora paused before sighing lightly with a tiny smile, "It doesn't really get any easier, losing people."
Ava gripped her clasped hands, "No. It doesn't."
Sora gave her a pained grin, "Well, I guess so long as we have other people in our lives, we'll be able to get through it, one way or another."
Ava gave him a sad look, "...That's not always enough, though."
Sora's smile dropped and he turned away, nodding his head slightly, "I know."
Ava hummed softly as she shifted to lean against the counter, "So, what are you and Riku going to do now?"
Sora paused before turning to her, "...You wouldn't come with us if we went back home?"
Ava blinked and gave him a somewhat surprised look, "You think I should go with you two?"
Sora grinned brightly and clenched his hand excitedly, "Yeah! I mean, you're a Master! Not only that, but like, you could help train and educate us properly! There aren't really any older Wielders left! Honestly, I thought I was the only one when I got mine!" He paused and ruffled his hair, embarrassed, "Actually, it kind of seemed like a lot of individuals thought I was the only one, and that there could only be one Keyblade Wielder." It was all really confusing now, in retrospect.
Maybe their enemies had known better and were messing with him… which wouldn't be a stretch. He and Riku hadn't known any better.
Ava frowned, "...There's… there's really no one?"
Sora hummed, "Well. There's Yen Sid, who was a Keyblade Wielder, but retired. He still guides us though. Then there's King Mickey who's a Master, but he doesn't have any Apprentices… though, he and Riku were pretty close, so maybe they kind of had that sort of relationship. Riku's a Master… but he and I have pretty much no traditional understanding of how Keyblades work. Finally, there's Master Aqua, who was given traditional teaching under Master Eraqus… but, I don't really know much about her. I didn't get the chance to really talk to her after we got her out of the Realm of Darkness."
Ava's chest froze, "...What?" She felt breathless.
That wasn't to say Wielders hadn't traveled through that realm plenty of times on Missions, but there were ways to get trapped down there!
Sora lightly scratched his cheek, "Uuuh, all I know is she disappeared, and after ten years his majesty found her down there… So after Riku got his Mark of Mastery, he and King Mickey went down to retrieve her… though…" He brought his arms over his head and clasped his hands behind his neck, swaying slightly with a vague grin, "I ended up managing to get down there with what ended up being her lost Keyblade." He frowned while Ava was having a mild panic attack, "Oh." He dropped his arms and put his hands on his hips, "I don't really understand this, and it sort of happened with Riku, but… When we found Aqua, her body had started turning black, and her hands were kinda… weird." A lot of things had been weird, really.
Ava wavered with her hand on her chest before allowing herself to sit down. Sora blinked in surprise as Ava breathed out shakily, "...Is she still like that? Or has she gotten worse?"
Sora tilted his head, "Oh, no, she turned back to normal and we brought her back into the Realm of Light, why? Riku and I have been trapped down there before, too."
Ava buried her face into her hands, "...When a Keyblade Wielder's Heart succumbs to Darkness, they begin to turn into a Darkling. This process is normally fast, and they lose their humanity almost overnight. No one's ever had the chance to recover from such a state, because they desire to feast on the Light of the Worlds they inhibit. They become unreachable, and have to be struck down."
Sora swallowed painfully as Riku barged into the conversation, "Then I guess we're lucky we didn't know about that."
Ava gasped and turned to him, "Oh! I didn't mean-"
Riku waved his hand loosely, "I think I understand what you mean, though. If Aqua hadn't had as much Light in her Heart as she had, she probably would have fallen faster. She was already exhausted before whatever it was that happened, and I don't think getting split apart from her Keyblade did her any favors."
Ava nodded as she bowed her head and clasped her hands in her lap.
Riku moved over to the other side of the table, "In my case, I was possessed by someone else's Heart, and was channeling Darkness for some time. Despite that, Mickey helped me learn how to live with my Darkness and channel it for the sake of the Light." He shrugged as Ava gave him a surprised look, "So I still use it, but not in the same way. I respect the fact that Darkness is a corrupt Power, but that I trust in my Light, and the Light of my friends to keep me on the right path." He shrugged nonchalantly, "Let my Heart Guide me, I guess"
Sora smiled, "You're a lot less uptight now, too."
Riku glared at him, "Uptight? What does that mean?"
Sora grinned, "Awe, y'know-"
Riku pointed at him, "And you've used Darkness too, haven't you?"
Sora winced as Ava looked at him in surprise. Sora slumped slightly as he rubbed the back of his head, "N- Well. I don't totally… understand some of what happened. There was my Anti Form that I'd sometimes transform into when I'd try to use Drives… and that was always kinda weird. And now with this-" He made a sweeping movement of himself and his clothes, "Now there's Rage Form... which was kind of similar, but definitely different." He cupped his chin in contemplation, "...Actually, now that I think about it, I kept changing the way I used my Keyblade and fought while in that state…"
Riku raised his eyebrow, "You did?"
Sora shifted, "Yeah! Like, I'd use my hand… claws, or flip my Keyblade into reverse grip, only to go back and swing in ways that aren't exactly my style or overhead kinda like you. I mean, I guess because Ven and the others were Sleeping in my Heart, that they affected that form as well, but… that still happens now that they've Awoken."
Riku tilted his head, "You still fall into it?"
Sora wilted, "...Last time it happened, it was…" He made a few faces, "I hadn't activated any form in nearly a year, but then a couple weeks before Ava found me, I was attacked by enemies and…" and that was when something happened and he slowly started seeing Vanitas in his reflection.
"Oh. Maybe that's why, then."
Riku raised his eyebrow further, "What do you mean?"
Sora checked the food he was cooking over before moving over and settling in a chair in thought, "Well. You know of Vanitas, right?"
Riku's brows furrowed, "Yeah, and? He was one of Xehanort's lackeys, he was always up to no good." As far as Mickey could tell him.
Sora gave him a sardonic smile, "See, that's the funny thing. He's not good, but he's not bad either. You don't know anything about him, or even know what he looks like, right?"
Riku frowned, "...No. He had that mask."
"Exactly! So you'd never know it if you saw him on the streets! You're judging him just because of Xehanort's influence!"
Riku slumped back into his chair and crossed his arms while grumbling, "That Dark Suit would kind of give him away, Sora, and he seemed pretty happy to taunt us in the Graveyard."
Ava was fascinated now, interested to see where this was leading. She'd heard Sora talk to Vanitas in his reflection, so clearly he wasn't so bad.
Sora sniffed, "Not anymore!" He grinned and crossed his arms, sitting up proudly, "Vanitas has been really helpful to me in his own way for a while now!"
Riku sat up straight, agitated. "What!?"
Sora huffed, "And you're one to talk! Didn't I forgive you and give you a chance when Kairi helped me see you under the face of Ansem you were wearing? None of us know anything about Vanitas, so would you seriously strike him down first, ask questions never?"
Riku wilted, "...I guess when you put it that way…"
Sora nodded as he pushed himself up to finish making their meal, "Anyway. I think Vanitas was with me for a really long time, kind of like Ven… but he must've been in an even deeper Sleep, because one day while thinking of everyone I've ever known, I thought about him. I saw his face just before he faded away in the Graveyard. It was…" He trailed off, "I didn't like it. Not being able to really talk with him, and I think Ven felt the same. So… I'm kind of glad that he responded to me, and slowly started talking to me. I was really lonely, since I'm basically a ghost here." He sighed and started plating the food he'd made, "I'm glad Ava found me when she did, certainly, but Vanitas helped ground me again. I've definitely been depressed since coming here, even though I've tried to not be."
Riku frowned, "...Sora."
"...Riku, Vanitas has my face."
Riku's eyes widened, "What?"
Sora turned to him with a weird smile, "The hair and eye color are all wrong, and like, his personality is still kinda rude, but… All things considered, he's kind of fun to talk to." He set down two plates before going back for his own, "Merlin's been working with him. He's changed a lot since he appeared home-side."
Riku tried to make himself relax, but the idea of an evil Sora struck a particular nerve in him, after everything they'd been through. "...I don't like it."
Sora snickered, "Well, that's alright. He probably won't like you either." Riku scowled and shoved a forkful of food into his mouth while Sora shrugged.
Ava watched him for a moment, "Sora, how often do you talk to Vanitas?"
Sora hummed while rubbing the back of his head, "Kind of often?"
Ava nodded absently, "Do you have a connection to him? Like… feeling his emotions?"
Sora nodded, "Yeah, but he feels mine to." He wilted slightly and ignored Riku's alarm, "He actually reprimanded me, while I was unconscious earlier."
Riku clenched his fork, "You were talking to him then, too?"
Sora winced, "I kind of had a weird Dream about when I found his Heart, I guess? He uh, he was kind of getting feedback from me remembering some of the bad stuff from our childhood."
Riku gave him a concerned look, "...Like what?"
"...That kid that drowned, or uhm…"
Riku raised a hand to stop him, "Got it."
Sora relaxed slightly, his stomach turned but he pushed the feeling away and shoved a forkful of food in his mouth and chewed before continuing, "Anyway. I was feeling bad, and he asked me what was going on." He glanced away from them, "And… he went to the Islands, met mom and dad… and I thought for a split second, that maybe… if I never came home, at least… At least he'd be there in my place." Riku and Ava both became alarmed by this and went to speak before Sora raised his hands, "Vanitas reprimanded me, you know. I know that wouldn't make anyone happy, but… it's hard, not knowing if I'll actually ever be alive as me under my own power, again."
Riku sighed as he fell back into his chair, "...I guess I kind of get it. I lost my body for a while too, but…" He glanced away, "You brought me back."
Sora nodded, "And now Ava's sort of brought me back." He smiled at her, "So maybe together, we can figure out how to make me real again. Vanitas had his own suggestion, but he also made sure to tell me that the fact I was still alive in any capacity was miracle enough, and that he figured I'd be able to find a way." He grinned at the both of them.
Riku blinked, "...That doesn't sound like him at all."
Sora laughed, "Right?! You gotta give him a chance Riku, please?"
Riku sighed heavily through his nose, "Fine. I'll give him a chance."
"You're the best!"
Ava smiled, "Sora." He looked to her as she continued, "I know what you said earlier, but… Do you really think it'd be alright if I returned with the two of you?"
Sora brightened, "Of course! I think everyone would like you, too! I'm sure Yen Sid would have a lot of questions- everyone, really, but… I think you'd fit right in!"
Ava gave him a look that was uncertainty mixed with relief. It was hard to describe, but she nodded, "Alright." She looked at Riku, "Are you two planning to return home soon, or are you going to wait a few days?"
Riku winced, "Well, I know how I got here, but I don't know if you two will be able to come back with me the same way. And then there's the issue of Sora being…" He waved at him, and the fact he was wearing a mask, "Like that."
Ava tilted her head while looking at the brunette before turning back to Riku, "Is there something wrong with my mask?"
Riku hesitated, "Well, if someone takes it off, he disappears. We also don't know if it's safe for him to come back with us, or if it'll erode what's left."
Sora blinked, he hadn't thought of that. "Well, so long as my Heart can be retrieved and kept safe within someone else's, it should be alright."
Riku stared at him surprised while Ava was concerned, "That's a difficult thing to do, Sora."
Sora looked at her bewildered, "It is?"
Riku blinked before he chuckled, "Not for him, mister I-had-three-maybe-four-Hearts-besides-mine." He paused, "And Kairi's for a while."
Sora sniffed, "Yup!"
Ava gaped at them, finally getting the bigger picture before smiling, "You two definitely were better off without formal teaching, otherwise none of that would have seemed possible. It's unbelievable, really."
Sora snickered while Riku laughed lightly, "Right? Sora's just a walking wonder."
Sora ate more of his food, "Well, until we can figure out a way to make me "real" in some form without the mask, I guess we'll stay. Hopefully we can find a solution soon though, 'cause I really miss home."
Riku nodded, "Right." Ava agreed as well.
It would be good to finally get Sora back home.