"I'm a computer! I'm a computery guy! Everything made out of buttons and wires! I'd like to show ya! Inside my digital life! Inside my mind there is a digital mind."
Colin's head peeled open and he felt a cold sensation on his... brain.
The three kids were staring awkwardly at him, but they didn't seem too traumatized. They weren't really responding either. He liked that they were not unsettled by this.
Thud thud thud
Colin started to shake- maybe Roy didn't plan this out too well after a-
"Oh. Maybe you could help us answer this question. 'What is the biggest thing in the w-"
"CLEVER-"
Oh, that was a close one. But he stayed on script! This would continue without a hitch. He'd make sure of it.
"I'm very clevery guy! Count to a fifty in the blink of my eye! ..."
The lyrics started to wash over him like a stream of water. As the song continued, the motions and warps came like clockwork to him. The children's reactions were starting to fall into place too! The little green haired one and the blue haired one seemed in awe of him; he was practically basking in their fascination!
Was this what it was like to be praised?
The red one wasn't as enthusiastic though... He seemed bored at best and concerned at worst—Colin was never good with facial expressions—but he CERTAINLY wasn't happy about him.
Thud thud
"What's your name? Where do you live? What do you like to e- eat?"
Rattle off the questions!
rattle rattle rattle
Follow along children! Listen to your teacher!
thud thud rattle
"Wait a minute..."
Keep going.
"Stop talking..."
Keep Going.
"Be quiet."
Something's headed toward your face- TURN AROUND
"SHUT UP!"
"DON'T TOUCH MEEEEE E!"
...
It was fine, Colin had it ALL under control. Sure, this part was planned for a little later in the song. But it was fine! It was fine.
It was so terribly colorful here, he just HAD to love it! Honestly, it didn't matter how much it hurt to get there, what mattered was that now they were there! This digital world, it was such a great idea that Roy had come up with. It fit perfectly, like a glove.
"Wow! We're all computery!"
"Oh yeah. Wow- Wow- wow- this is a computer."
That's what you get for trying to punch me in the face. Brat.
Thud thud
"In the digital world, there's only three things to do!"
Look at the information child! Isn't amazing what computers can achieve? Look at that style, I bet you feel fancy now! Dance! Dance! Dance! It's all for entertainment! Look how wonderful it is here! Look how amazing it is to be a real computer! BE HAPPY LIKE ME! EMBRACE THE JOYOUS CREATION!
They believed him! Right? Yes, yes they did. It was the truth, everything that came out of his mouth was the truth. It spilled out of his mouth completely naturally, like he was on autopilot.
Thud thud thud thud thud thud
Of course, if he was paying attention, he'd know that was a lie. Everything had been a lie. This wasn't real. None of it had been real, ever. Not this, not the words, not him.
Thud thud thud
He knew this wasn't entertainment. It wasn't even really a computer. It was just a twisted game from a demented father. Why had he pretended otherwise? He could've resisted. He never resisted. He didn't resist back then. He didn't resist now. He went along with what other people said, because he could not make the connections himself. Why could he not.
Thud thud
He knew why. If he just acknowledged why he was like this, then the connections could finally be made, and everything would be how it should be. It was a trade off. He could live in serene denial, and not know anything. Or he could learn everything and live in regret. He had no reason to pretend he was not a robot. Or that he was happy. This didn't make him happy. Maybe it used to, but he wasn't a robot back then, he was just an object. He didn't know, so it made him happy. He did know now. Nothing was the same. As he finally accepted what he really was, as the song played out before his eyes, as he watched his body move without command once again, everything inside him changed. He had no reason to do any of this at all. It didn't matter anymore. He couldn't hear what was going on outside.
Thud thud thud thud
Why'd he do this? Why'd he do anything? He could see the children weren't happy.
Or was that just a lie too?
It won't stop looping.
It won't stop looping.
Would he never have a way out?
It won't stop looping.
Was his life going to be travesty after travesty? Failure after failure? Could he ever stop being a monster? Even with his new brain?
Thud
Did he want to stop? Surely he... wait...
Thud thud
Where'd the red one go?
Thud Thud Thud
He left...
HE LEFT!
DON'T LEAVE, HE DIDN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO FOR THIS!
THUD THUD THUD
Colin unhooked himself from the digital world, popping back into consciousness. He spotted the younger two's bodies draped across the table and eyes staring blankly into nothing. The song was still playing dully in the background. The eldest was inching towards the exit. What was he doing?! Roy didn't tell him what to do if one of them tried to fight back! He had to stop him! Something bad could happen-
(To who?)
He had no time to reminisce about poor life choices. He had no time to contemplate his existence. He had to stop him now, even if he wasn't sure what stopping him meant. Something bad could happen-
...
Red's hands shook as he closed them over the doorknob. He couldn't stand by this- not anymore. He was getting out of here. Now.
...
It didn't take much at all for him to lose control of his body, but maybe this was okay! He didn't know what choice to make, so it was best to just let his body do it for him. It always did what was best for him before.
Colin materialized the axe again.
The red one shoved the door open and stepped through.
thud thud thud
This was how it was supposed to be. How it will always be.
A swipe through the air- a crunch through the spine- a slice through the neck-
Colin's face morphed from one of unabashed glee to blank terror as he watched the teen's head topple to the floor and blood drain into the cracks between the tiles. The head rolled over slightly, exposing the dead eyes and visage of terror etched on forever.
He shouldn't have been this shocked by it. He'd done this dozens of times before in the exact same way; he'd snuffed out life younger than THIS. Why did THIS murder shock him into reality? Why did this make him realize that he'd been a monster?
Because he had acknowledged the truth. Now he understood everything from the normal point of view. It was the truth, everything that came out of his mouth was the truth. It spilled out of his mouth completely naturally, like he was on autopilot.
"Oh my god... What have I done..?"