Larry the Lamp was an odd fellow. No one in town knew that much about him besides what was blatantly obvious. He was a lamp object, with a mediocre fashion sense and gross, stringy, glowing hair that he didn't take proper care of. His clothes consisted of gray shorts, an oversized dark blue hoodie that functioned more like a dress, and gloves. His hair was tied in a loose ponytail and he had plenty of stray strands, and of course he wore his lampshade hat. He had shoes at some point, but they seemed to go missing. Some thought he might look nice if he just tried. He was corrupted, you could always tell from the name. It was human, not a traditional object name like Lamp or Lampy. Although, no one seemed to know how he became that way or what horrid thing he could have done to activate the change. He didn't ever seem to do much, he rarely ever hurt anyone, not more than anyone else in the town did. He mostly kept to himself, but he'd talk happily if you talked first. Still, even if he was harmless, it was best to stay away from corrupted objects on principle. You never know what sort of things they may be hiding.

There was another strange factor to him: he was almost always drunk. Whether it be just a little tipsy or on the verge of blacking out, it was a consistent fact of life. There wasn't a single day that passed by where the residents didn't see him stumbling about, seemingly without a care in the world. He never seemed to be actually knocked unconscious from it, but he was a rather sleepy man, so most people didn't seem to know that fact. It didn't bother them much, the alcoholism; a few even found him funny or endearing in a strange sense. After all, he wasn't hurting anyone. Not even himself.

Corrupted objects are immortal in the sense that you have to actually stab them or something for them to die. Longevity, in a sense. And they're far more durable too. He had no such qualms about downing litres of alcohol every day, seeing as it did nothing to his body besides the obvious. The other townspeople speculated that he simply did it because it was fun.

No one knew where Larry lived, and at times, it seemed he didn't know either. Barely anyone remembered when he first arrived to the town, although a select few can think back to that fateful day 15 years ago. He strangely didn't look any older than 25 by the time the unfortunate events began, although it was always hard to tell with objects, immortal or not. Even normal ones always had a certain youth to them that lasted longer than humans.

A final strange feature of his appearance was his left eye. It seemed nearly intact and normal, except for the fact that the pupil was almost melted, for lack of a better term. Black goo was always leaking out of where the pupil would be, and his eye was often half shut, allowing it to stream down his cheek like tears. No one payed much mind to it, though it did throw off some who didn't see him often.

Nonetheless, he was alone, and he kept it that way. I indeed must wonder why.

...

The new human moved into town a week ago. They were unassuming in appearance, voice, thoughts, existence. They knew very little about the residents but were amicable, and could make friends quickly. It didn't take long for them to go out and about, exploring their new environment. Of course, one fateful night, they encountered Larry the Lamp at the bar.

They walked in anxiously and looked around for any friends they'd already made, but none were to be found. Unfortunately, they spotted Larry face down on a table with black liquid pouring out of his face. A person less acquainted with him would think he'd been hit on the head and was bleeding out, so they came to that worrying conclusion and approached. This would be a decision they would come to regret. As they drew closer, he sat up and looked at them with a dazed look.

"Erm, excuse me sir, are you alright?" There was a waver to their voice when they realized it was pupil, not ink. Which is a very strange sentence.

"Yyyyeah ai'm perfegtly fine!"

Well alright then. "You don't seem it."

"Ah whaddyou know bout me huh?" He jokingly waved his pointer finger at them with a weird smirk. "I can take annnnything! I can jump off a building an' be great! Wanna see?"

The human halfheartedly giggled, this object was so weird. It was kinda funny. They sat down and continued the conversation.

"What's your name?"

"Larry- Larry the Lamp. Nice to meetya acquaintanze-"

They awkwardly shoved their hands together in a gross approximation of a handshake.

The human was strangely drawn to this fellow. Something about him seemed so open and casual. Obviously being drunk helped but they could tell there was something else there. Perhaps they should have heeded the fact that he was corrupted, but hey, he seemed just fine. A new friend, just like all the others. Hehehe.

The conversation spiraled out from there. They discussed many things, and Larry's vocabulary made him seem overly passionate about everything, despite the sleepy manner in which he delivered it. It leaned into the topic of current movies, of which Larry said his favorite was "the one in space where they blow up the thing." Very detailed indeed. Maybe he was just lying about having seen it, but they did not care. The human was almost passive in the conversation, mostly egging him on and providing more things for him to aimlessly babble about. They liked watching him tumble into madness and wildly rave about things he probably didn't even really care about. They kept pushing him into monologues for their own enjoyment, and he didn't seem to notice.

This brought them much glee. Maybe a little too much. They were playing with this drunken man like a toy. But he was harmless after all.

...

Soon the duo exited the building. Larry had brought along an empty glass bottle, saying he just liked to bring it with him. The human laughed again. What an odd fellow. He really was fun to play with. As Larry absentmindedly spun around, he suddenly seemed to realize something and admitted to the human that he needed help getting home.

"Oh, I can take you home!" Of course. Couldn't have this fun new friend getting hit by a car or getting lost now, could we?

"Ah! Youra lifesaver!"

"So where is your home?"

"I... uhhh... don' remember..."

"Well, we can keep walking around until you DO remember." Ah, what a fun excuse to play a little longer.

The two trailed about the whole town, continuing their 1.5 sided conversation. The taller brick apartments and stores soon gave way to smaller buildings and trees. They rounded about and walked everywhere in the town. The leaves were rotting away. Why? Things should be growing here. The human couldn't stop laughing at Larry. The air was cold, despite it being nearly the end of spring. June would be coming soon.

The two eventually neared the docks and the human stared out at the ships leaving into the dark abyss of night. The water was near pitch black, and the sky seemed to match the further out one looked. No stars. No moon. No clouds. None of the symbols that appeared on Larry's clothes. Haha. Ahahahahahhahhahaahahahahha.

"Larry, why do you drink so much?" It would be fun if they could get to know him better. Maybe they could earn some trust with this fun new friend. The question almost seemed to spill out of their mouth.

He paused for a rare moment, but his expression didn't break or change. "Ah- yaknow somedimes ya gatta forget stuff. Alcohol'll do that to ya." He chuckled, but it seemed a little strained.

They continued to push like they had before. "What're you trying to forget?" they said with an eager smile.

He paused again, his face finally shifting away from his constant dim witted smile. His eyes seemed to grow a little sharper, his face was less dazed, his body stiffer. This time, he didn't respond.

"Well?"

Larry walked closer to the human. He didn't look anything like he had before. He was standing up straight, and one would think he hadn't touched a single bottle in over a year. The human continued. What could this silly man possibly do.

"It wouldn't have anything to do with your eye, would i-"

*CRASH*

The human dropped onto the ground faster than you could say "what the fuck". Larry flipped the broken bottle around in his hand and murmured, "Don't ask stupid questions."

Shards of glass were tangled in the human's hair and scattered across the stone paved road. Larry's hand shivered a bit, but he didn't mind. His shoulders relaxed and his eyes grew heavier. It was such tiresome work, existing. Especially with people like this around.

His voice and face were now devoid of any evidence he'd been to a bar and he stared at the human with a dejected look of malice.

"Damn you. Now look what you've done. I've got to start all over again. I hope you're happy," he muttered as he rolled the body into the darkened water. Was it too late to get back his alcohol induced state? Would he have to sleep first and try again tomorrow? That seemed to be the case. Damn it all. He'd have to consciously go home, with normal thoughts in his head and normal memories. He was at the very least happy that murder came so easily to him. That was the one benefit of his sorry state.

As he trudged back towards home he mumbled to himself over and over, "I hate your stupid corrupt body. I hope you're happy."